Dustin Diamond's "Behind The Bell"; Lamest Saved by the Bell Tell-All Ever
Ubiquitous
This isn't exactly the best week to come out with a tell-all. There's
just no way to compete with Mackenzie Phillips' dramabomb, but Dustin
"Screech Powers" Diamond does his best.
And honestly, even if there wasn't some '70s actress talking about her
incestuous affair with her father all over the place, Diamond's Saved by
the Bell tell-all, Behind the Bell, would still be a pretty big fail.
Turns out the eternal Bayside High nerd was quite the outcast offscreen,
too. In the Us Weekly preview of the book, Diamond speculates about a
lot of things he thinks happened but never witnessed because no one
wanted him around.
A sampling:
* "I could smell a certain 'smoke' wafting from the crack" of his
fellow castmates' dressing rooms.
* He accuses Mark-Paul Gosselaar (dreamy Zack Morris) of using
steroids. "He suddenly exploded with manliness, loading 25 pounds of
muscle on his once-scrawny frame in, oh, about a month."
* Sometimes Tiffani Thiessen hung out in Mario Lopez's dressing room
and other times Elizabeth Berkley would hand out in Gosselaar's room.
The only one not hanging out was Screech.
* Mario Lopez liked to hit on ladies.
* This one time Tiffani had to wear a bathing suit for the show and
she would walk "around with her hands casually shielding her ass." So
producers were like, "No more junk food on set," and then Diamond didn't
have anything to snack on. It was rough.
* Lark Voorhies, who played Lisa Turtle, "all of the sudden, she
didn't want to be near men." Diamond took that to mean she was in an
abusive relationship. He has no idea if this is true, though.
* Also, Diamond would like to add Fred Savage is "a douche nozzle";
Neil Patrick Harris "was an a--hole"; Tori Spelling had "negative [size]
boobs"; Denise Richards was "just another notch on Mario's bedpost."
And that is seriously all the juicy stuff he's got�a bunch of
name-calling and speculation based on all these times he wasn't allowed
to hang out. Pretty petty and pathetic, but we should have seen this
coming.
--
It is simply breathtaking to watch the glee and abandon with which
the liberal media and the Angry Left have been attempting to turn
our military victory in Iraq into a second Vietnam quagmire. Too bad
for them, it's failing.
Syvyn11
"Ubiquitous" <web...@polaris.net> wrote in message
news:7a6dnb3PAYiBgl3X...@giganews.com...
> by Jennifer Cady
>
> This isn't exactly the best week to come out with a tell-all. There's
> just no way to compete with Mackenzie Phillips' dramabomb, but Dustin
> "Screech Powers" Diamond does his best.
>
> And honestly, even if there wasn't some '70s actress talking about her
> incestuous affair with her father all over the place, Diamond's Saved by
> the Bell tell-all, Behind the Bell, would still be a pretty big fail.
>
> Turns out the eternal Bayside High nerd was quite the outcast offscreen,
> too. In the Us Weekly preview of the book, Diamond speculates about a
> lot of things he thinks happened but never witnessed because no one
> wanted him around.
>
> A sampling:
>
> * "I could smell a certain 'smoke' wafting from the crack" of his
> fellow castmates' dressing rooms.
WOW! kids doing pot, STOP THE FUCKING PRESSES!!!!!
> * He accuses Mark-Paul Gosselaar (dreamy Zack Morris) of using
> steroids. "He suddenly exploded with manliness, loading 25 pounds of
> muscle on his once-scrawny frame in, oh, about a month."
Don't give a fuck.
> * Sometimes Tiffani Thiessen hung out in Mario Lopez's dressing room
> and other times Elizabeth Berkley would hand out in Gosselaar's room.
> The only one not hanging out was Screech.
Dude was a asshole then too.
> * Mario Lopez liked to hit on ladies.
Oh, how times have changed.
> * This one time Tiffani had to wear a bathing suit for the show and
> she would walk "around with her hands casually shielding her ass." So
> producers were like, "No more junk food on set," and then Diamond didn't
> have anything to snack on. It was rough.
Sniff.
> * Lark Voorhies, who played Lisa Turtle, "all of the sudden, she
> didn't want to be near men." Diamond took that to mean she was in an
> abusive relationship. He has no idea if this is true, though.
If I had to hang with a loser like Diamond and douchebags like Gossalar and
Lopez, I wouldn't want to be around men either.
> * Also, Diamond would like to add Fred Savage is "a douche nozzle";
> Neil Patrick Harris "was an a--hole"; Tori Spelling had "negative [size]
> boobs"; Denise Richards was "just another notch on Mario's bedpost."
Someone isn't getting invited to the next revival of "Hollywood Squares".
>
> And that is seriously all the juicy stuff he's got-a bunch of
> name-calling and speculation based on all these times he wasn't allowed
> to hang out. Pretty petty and pathetic, but we should have seen this
> coming.
Might sell six copies.
Ubiquitous
>Someone isn't getting invited to the next revival of "Hollywood Squares".
As I understand it, the cast refuses to do any type of reunion show
if "Screech" is included.
--
It's now time for healing, and for fixing the damage the Democrats did
to America.
Syvyn11
> robhor...@yahoo.com wrote:
>
>>Someone isn't getting invited to the next revival of "Hollywood Squares".
>
> As I understand it, the cast refuses to do any type of reunion show
> if "Screech" is included.
and that's how you know most of that book is bullshit. If any of it were
true, Diamond would have one of them standing by him.
Ubiquitous
>>>Someone isn't getting invited to the next revival of "Hollywood Squares".
>>
>> As I understand it, the cast refuses to do any type of reunion show
>> if "Screech" is included.
>
>and that's how you know most of that book is bullshit. If any of it were
>true, Diamond would have one of them standing by him.
Why would they be defending him for revealing real confidential secrets?
Or would he be prone on the ground at the same time?
Syvyn11
> robhor...@yahoo.com wrote:
>>"Ubiquitous" <web...@polaris.net> wrote:
>>> robhor...@yahoo.com wrote:
>
>>>>Someone isn't getting invited to the next revival of "Hollywood
>>>>Squares".
>>>
>>> As I understand it, the cast refuses to do any type of reunion show
>>> if "Screech" is included.
>>
>>and that's how you know most of that book is bullshit. If any of it
>>were
>>true, Diamond would have one of them standing by him.
>
> Why would they be defending him for revealing real confidential secrets?
> Or would he be prone on the ground at the same time?
You tell me the other five are all buddy buddy. If not to defend Diamond,
then to get their own "tell all" out.
Ubiquitous
>"Ubiquitous" <web...@polaris.net> wrote:
>> robhor...@yahoo.com wrote:
>>>"Ubiquitous" <web...@polaris.net> wrote:
>>>> robhor...@yahoo.com wrote:
>>>>>Someone isn't getting invited to the next revival of "Hollywood
>>>>>Squares".
>>>>
>>>> As I understand it, the cast refuses to do any type of reunion show
>>>> if "Screech" is included.
>>>
>>>and that's how you know most of that book is bullshit. If any of it
>>>were
>>>true, Diamond would have one of them standing by him.
>>
>> Why would they be defending him for revealing real confidential secrets?
>> Or would he be prone on the ground at the same time?
>
>You tell me the other five are all buddy buddy. If not to defend Diamond,
>then to get their own "tell all" out.
I think they're united by a common intense dislike of Dustin.
Weren't there some "tell-alls" already written?