The Red Dwarf Experience
Richard Green
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RD 7 - IT'S REALLY OUT THERE
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I'm writing this little report for the benefit of the many great RD fans
out there who would like all the information they can get on the new
series, and anything about RD in general.
On Friday 4 October at 5.15pm, I was let into the Teddington Studios in
Middlesex, where they allowed a group of about 250 individuals to get a
preview screening of 3 of the 8 new 7th Series episodes. On Friday
morning, I certainly knew it was going to be a wonderful day. Now it's
all over, I can even boldly state it was worth the 3 hour journey
involved getting from the east side of London to the south in the dirty,
jam-packed urban roads.
There was little information about this preview screening, and the only
thing I knew for certain was that we'd see at least one of the new
episodes, to have our laughter dubbed on to the final broadcast on the
BBC starting "sometime around the New Year" (according to Doug Naylor).
It turns out we were in for some real magic bonuses, as we saw both
Craig Charles arrive, bearing incredibly short hair and some cool mirror
shades, and Danny John-Jules looking like ... well, he was wearing an
MGM cap, baggy trousers, glowing white trainers, sporting a stubbly
beard and the same sort of shades; so create your own image. I was
certain he was about to start bouncing his feet, and pump out some funky
rap music. The few times he talked, his cockney accent came through so
strong, I was just about to get out my rhyming-slang translator. This
was one man, I believe, who was in great fear of being type-cast. They
arrived separately, in cars I didn't see, gave us lowly fans a smile and
wave, and went on in to the building through the VIP swivel-doors.
Talking of the fans, has anyone else noticed RD-nuts generally wear very
dark (usually black) clothes, have long, unbrushed hair that sticks out,
wear sandals, and bear remarkable resemblance to Trekkers? I don't mean
to insult, merely to state that while on this trip, I can see why Craig
Charles formed that opinion of us, which he was so harshly criticised
for by the alt.rd posse. More on this later...
The glimpse of our heroes in the flesh got the crowd jumping and
excited, so the wait to be taken in became even more unbearable.
Finally, we were being led off, handed our tickets to one of the many
employees (which were generously returned after the show), wearing the
new RD 7 T-Shirts, picturing the crew as four skeletons in their regular
cool gear, captioned: "Red Dwarf 7: Back from the Dead". These were, of
course, available to buy afterwards for the reasonable price of 8ukp,
and I succumbed to the glorious RD atmosphere, and parted with the dosh.
We got seated into a small studio, with about 10 14" TV screens hung
high up in front of us, which I doubt anyone used, as there was a much
bigger, cinema-style screen directly in front. It started off blank,
but they kindly broadcast the Red Dwarf logo on it, to keep us amused
for the remaining 20 minutes we had to wait. But, as I hope I've
already come across as saying, the small wait was very much worth it.
On comes a friendly-looking, bearded man, greets us and then introduces
himself as Ed Bye. Excited, but controlled muffles, ripple through the
small crowd. He is none other than the director of the last couple (is
it?) RD series. After a very amusing routine of "what to do in case
there's a fire", on comes a small and slightly-nervous man by the
moniker of Doug Naylor, to say a few words. A hushed awe of God-like
silence drew over the audience (they say exaggeration is the true art of
good writing).
And this is where us Net guys get a mention. In his words, "please
don't reveal any of the storylines of the episodes you are about to see
- particularly on the Internet". This was a conversation topic I was
having with a friend only days before, stating how I can see the Net
being quite a danger to keeping new series hush hush. Specifically, on
both the ticket and in Naylor's words, only the actual episode's content
were requested to be kept quiet, the day itself I saw no harm in
sharing, and hope the bods in Grant/Naylor agree.
The episodes we saw weren't completed yet, many of the sound effects
were missing, and the only music came from the beginning and end credits
(which, amusingly, were old - from the 4th series I believe, before Bye
took over and using claiming the part of Kochanski was by CP Grogan),
but most of the actual content that's going out in the final production
was there, so we weren't left in the dark about anything. We were
warned that as some of the special effects hadn't been touched up, it
would look very much like "watching Alabanian TV", and that it was.
This caused great eruptions of laughter from the audience in places
which were probably meant to look no where near that cheesy.
As for my =opinion= on the episodes (we saw shows 2, 4 and 5), I thought
the first was unfortunately quite bad, but the other two were very good.
So quite a varied mix really. Heh, that's about as far as I can go into
them I guess; I'm not feeling too brave.
After the first episode, the time came for pant-wetting. A live viewing
on CC, DJ, Rob Lewellyn and.... bugger, I can't even remember her name.
The new actress for Kochanski. I apologise for this, as she was great
in the show. Being new to the series, no one knew who she was until
Charles told us, which actually succeeded his first comment on the new
babe, which was "I'm just waiting to see when her outfit pops". Big
laughs. Well... it was an incredibly tight top. Where his hands were
going, as well as that comment, made it incredibly clear he had noticed.
The crew wandered around the stage for a bit, popping off the few one-
liners, obviously with no script in mind whatsoever, which made their
appearances so much more enjoyable. Their main theme, however, leaned
towards making fun of one another wherever possible. Charles said:
"he's much better looking in real life, though, eh?" pointing towards
poor Rob. Craig was actually the most confident out of the lot, which
made me wonder what experience he had had with stand-up.
They waved farewell to allow for the start of the second episode. And
once again, after that, they came on back out to chat - this time with a
bit of audience participation. In fact, both we and the stars were so
into it, they didn't want to leave the set when the lights dimmed for
the third showing; and of course, we all moaned our disappointment with
calls of "turn the lights back on!" and "awwwwwww!"
And with the third episode finished, while most people were creaking
their backs and busting for the loo, I found myself panting for more.
Alas, not to be, as we had to make way for the 8.15pm lot to come in and
take our place. I was also quite upset as to not being shown episode 1
and finding out which angle they would decide to take in allowing the
crew to survive that explosion at the end of series 6. But, my
curiousity was more than made up for, with a revelation in one of the
episodes about Lister, that beats them all.
Once we'd left the building into the cold, unwelcoming night air, a
squealing crowd had gathered around Danny John-Jules who, according to
him, was "not supposed to be out here" offering his autograph. This was
another point where I could see the image of the fans being laid in
thick and unpleasantly strong to the RD crew. He was surrounded by
tall, gangly guys, standing patiently for the honour of his signature
and a shake of his hand. If Craig has ever had a first-person view of
this, then although he made a terribly generalised statement, it is one
that holds true nonetheless.
And concerning Danny, I just wanted to say that he did seem to lap up
the attention, although I guess it's a no-win situation; if he had
stayed inside with the others, you would have thought him unfriendly,
and neglectful of those who wanted to say hi. But then, by coming out
with his bow-tied bodyguard, the arrogance couldn't help but emanate
slightly. What's that? Jealous? No, I tell you!
And from there, it was on to Pizza Hut and home. I would like to thank
Julian very much for the ride up there, and Leslie for the delightful
company, and of course all the cast and crew of RD for allowing quite an
exclusive sneak preview to the likes of over-opinionated little me.
--
Richard Green Gre...@rikk.demon.co.uk
http://www.rikk.demon.co.uk (Don't you love simple, tidy signatures?)
Turnpike evaluation. For Turnpike information, mailto:in...@turnpike.com