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MSTied: GET A LIFE (and how to respond)

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Michael K. Neylon

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Jan 31, 1994, 11:25:48 AM1/31/94
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(A short little thingy that got posted to the startrek groups. Share &
enjoy!)

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>Every now and then,

Crow: I get that 'not-so-fresh' feeling...

> some individual gets the idea into its dubious
>consciousness to try to 'razz' the *.startrek.* groups

Tom: By posting a crappy fanfic to them.

> by telling the
>readership to 'Get a life'.

All: YEA!!!
Mike: Praise the individual!
Crow: Bow down before him!

> These are frequently accompanied by foul

Crow: Odors.

>language and other obnoxiousness.

Tom: Well, gee, when the normal drivel on the startrek groups are along
the lines of 'WESLEY IS GREAT!', what *do* you expect?

>Experience leads one to conclude that almost all of these articles are
>the result of either:

Mike: Geeks or Nerds.

>1) A juvenile mind who has nothing better to do than annoy other
>people for attention-getting purposes.

Tom: Your average fanfic author.

>2) An individual who left their account logged in falling prey to (1)
>above.

Crow: Now what type of person would look for an open account, find a
way to access USENET, find their way to the startrek groups, and
post this type of message?
Tom: Well, you, for one, Crow.
Crow: True. Very true.

>3) Someone's idea of a 'practical joke' (See 1 above).

Mike: (as Dick Clark) This week on 'Bloopers and Practical Jokes', we're
secretly replacing William Shatner's toupee with this mass of
blood-sucking leeches...let's see what happens.
Crow :(as Shatner) Spock...Spock....YOW!!!!
Tom: (as Ed McMann) YES! (laugh)

>So. What can be done about these articles?

All: KEEP POSTING THEM!

>a) Ignore it completely. The fool wants attention.

Mike: So do fanfic writers. What's the difference?

> Don't give it
>the satisfaction. (Preferable)

Tom: So, anyone who *doesn't* read the startrek group is sub-human, and
should be referred to as an 'it'?

>b) A *polite* message to 'usenet', 'postmaster', or 'root' at the
>offending site.

Crow: (whiney country voice) Mr. SysOp, sir, they're pickin' on me!

> Inclusion of the article (perhaps with all the header
>info intact) might be of use.

Mike: No wonder there's a lack of sysops...they have to go through this
drivel every day!

> (Although too much of this might be
>considered 'whining'.)

Tom: Like even a small reaction to these articles is a proof of your
emotional status.

>What you shouldn't do:

Crow: Do not read the startrek newsgroups
Tom: Avoid Star Trek at all costs.
Mike: Do not put your pencil up your nose too far.
C&T: WHAT?!
Mike: Never mind.

>a) Don't repost the entire offensive article only to add a single line
>of rebuttal.

Mike: Yes, a single word will suffice.

> The idiot probably doesn't even read the startrek
>newsgroups, so it probably won't do any good whatsoever.

Tom: Again, the infamous readers of the startrek groups show their
superior status to the rest of the human race.

>b) For that matter, point-by-point rebuttals are equally useless.

Crow: But they do that in Congress. What's the problem?

>c) Don't counter-flame either on the net or via email.

Mike: How can you counter-flame when there hasn't even been a flame yet?

> Remember.

Tom: Only you can prevent forest fires.

>You're supposed to be more mature than this jerk. Prove it.

Crow: Boy, there is something seriously wrong with these Trekkies.

>d) Don't 'email-bomb' the fool.

Tom: Tact-nukes work *much* better.

> Do not send core dumps, long
>articles, etc.

Mike: Flowers...
Crow: Candy...
Tom: Get well cards...

> Yes, filling up the mail spool will be annoying
>to him or her. However, it also inconveniences other users at the
>same site.

Crow: Yea, they'll all have to take time out to see what the stupid
Trekkie sent to the guy.

> And if the individual was a category 2) above, you're
>aiming for the wrong target anyway.

Mike: Like you'll be able to tell if someone else used the guy's account.
Crow: Let's get out of here, Mike.
Mike: Sorry, we still have the sig...

>--
>Capt. Gym Z. Quirk (Known to some as Taki Kogoma) kog...@unm.edu

Tom: Member of the Looney Bin.

> I'll get a life when someone demonstrates it would be superior to
> what I have now.

Crow: Umm..
Mike: Err..
Tom: Ah..
Mike: You know, I think that statement is self-conflicting...
Crow: Definitely. NOW can we go, Mike?
Mike: Yep, lets.

---------

STd. Disclaimer and all that jazz. MST3k and Characters (C) BBI.


--
Michael K. Neylon |
Grad. Student | "You got your moles in my BatWoman!"
Dept. of ChE, Univ. of Michigan | "You got your BatWoman in my moles!"
mne...@engin.umich.edu | -MST3000

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