MIKE: I usually take a 2XVII but I've been feeling light lately.
> FATTY FINDS THE MOON
TOM: Not *that* The Moon, mind you. A different The Moon.
> Wandering through the woods one day,
CROW: In the very merry month of ... December.
> Fatty Raccoon's bright eyes
> caught a strange gleam from something---something that shone and
> glittered out of the green.
MIKE: Oh yeah, it's Gleam Squirrel season.
> Fatty wanted to see what it was,
TOM: Raccoon laser eyes on.
> though he
> hardly thought it was anything to eat.
TOM: Oh. Raccoon laser eyes off, then.
> But whenever he came upon
> something new he always wanted to examine it. So now Fatty hurried to
> see what the strange thing was.
> It was the oddest thing he had ever found---flat, round, and
CROW: Fatty discovers his first flying saucer.
> and it hung in the air, under a tree, just over Fatty's head.
MIKE: A shower head?
TOM: Jeez, there's got to be nicer ways to tell him to take a bath.
> Fatty Raccoon looked carefully at the bright thing. He walked all around
> it, so he could see it from all sides.
MIKE: So someone hung a half-dollar from a tree?
> And at last he thought he knew
> what it was. He made up his mind that it was the moon!
TOM: Oh, yeah, I can see where --- *what*?
> He had often seen the moon up in the sky;
MIKE: Okay, yeah, sky, that checks out.
> and here it was,
> just the same size exactly,
TOM: I think Fatty's one of those people who doesn't believe you can see the moon during the day.
> hanging so low that he could have reached
> it with his paw.
MIKE: 'Could have'. Big talk there, Fatty.
> He saw nothing strange in that; for he knew that the
> moon often touched the earth.
CROW: Fatty studied astronomy at an un-accredited college.
> Had he not seen it many a time, resting
> on the side of Blue Mountain?
TOM: Uh ... all right, Counselor, I'll let this continue but you're on a short leash.
> One night he had asked his mother if he
> might go up on the mountain to play with the moon; but she had only
CROW: [ As Mrs Raccoon ] 'The Moon is a cow place. We raccoons have Toronto.'
> And here, at last, was the moon come to him!
TOM: This is so awkward because The Moon's meeting someone else there.
> Fatty was so
> excited that he ran home as fast as he could go, to tell his mother,
> and his brother Blackie, and Fluffy and Cutey, his sisters.
MIKE: And Jimmy Rabbit's imaginary brother.
> "Oh! the moon! the moon!" Fatty shouted.
CROW: Tattoo's catchphrase for _Fantasy Island: 1999_.
> He had run so fast
> that, being so plump, he was quite out of breath. And that was all he
> could say.
MIKE: He's thinking of making Moon Pies and ... Moon cakes ...
> "Well, well! What about the moon!" Mrs. Raccoon asked.
TOM: Moon salad, Moon pudding ...
CROW: Moon sausages? ... I don't know, this category's stumped me.
> would think you had found it, almost." And she smiled.
CROW: Is ... is 'you found the moon' some 1915 slang or something?
MIKE: [ Shrugs ]
> Fatty puffed and gasped. And at last he caught his breath
> "Yes---I've found it! It's over in the woods---just a little way
> from here!" he said.
TOM: And up a considerable bit!
> "Big, and round, and shiny!
CROW: Huh ... well, that sounds like the Moon, sure.
> Let's all go and
> bring it home!"
MIKE: Oh, I don't know. You never play with that Ceres you brought home last year.
> "Well, well, well!" Mrs. Raccoon was puzzled. She had never heard
> of the moon being found in those woods;
TOM: Oh, now our woods aren't good enough for the Moon?
> and she hardly knew what to
> think. "Are you sure?" she asked.
CROW: Have you checked it for any identifying Apollo landing sites?
> "Oh, yes, Mother!" Fatty could hardly wait, he was so eager to
> lead the way.
TOM: He's going to be so embarrassed when he gets back and it's just Pluto.
> And with many a shake of the head, Mrs. Raccoon, with her
> family, started off to see the moon.
MIKE: This reminds her of the time Fluffy brought home a Lesser Magellanic Cloud.
> "There!" Fatty cried, as they came in sight of the bright,
> round thing.
CROW: Oh, that's not the Moon, that's just Callisto.
> "There it is---just as I told you!" And they all set up a
> great shouting.
TOM: Finally a Raccoon Moon.
MIKE: Man in the Moon wearing in eye mask.
> All but Mrs. Raccoon. She wasn't quite sure, even yet, that Fatty
> had really found the moon.
CROW: If this is the Moon why does it have a sticker saying Made In Queens?
> And she walked close to the shining thing
> and peered at it. But not too close!
MIKE: Screen falling off the door, door hanging off the hinges ...
> Mrs. Raccoon didn't go too near it.
> And she told her children quite sternly to stand back.
TOM: Don't want you to get scrooched by mistake.
> It was well
> that she did; for when Mrs. Raccoon took her eyes off Fatty's moon and
> looked at the ground beneath it---well!
CROW: Wait, that's no moon ...
> she jumped back so quickly that
> she knocked two of her children flat on the ground.
CROW: It's a space station!
> A trap!
CROW: It's a trap?!
MIKE: Subverted expectations.
> THAT was what Mrs. Raccoon saw right in front of her.
TOM: Sharp eyes on Mrs Raccoon.
MIKE: She learned from that time she tried to bring home Saturn's rings.
> Farmer Green, or his boy, or whoever it was that set the trap,
CROW: Like there's another person in the story?
MIKE: [ Shaking his fist ] Jasper Jay!
> hung that bright piece of TIN over the trap hoping that one of her
> family would see it and play with it---and fall into the trap.
TOM: The trap of carrying your old-timey tintype photograph around the amusement park all day.
> was a mercy that Fatty hadn't begun knocking it about. For if he had
> he would have stepped right into the trap and it would have shut---SNAP!
CROW: Jeez, who tries to trap a perfectly innocent Moon?
> Just like that. And there he would have been, caught fast.
TOM: All right he'd be trapped, sure, but he'd have a Moon, too.
> It was no wonder that Mrs. Raccoon hurried her family away from
> that spot.
CROW: What can I say? This house is falling apart.
> And Fatty led them all home again. He couldn't get away
> from his moon fast enough.
MIKE: Leaving the trap as a little surprise for Brownie Beaver there.
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