Worst SF movie!!!
A Hideously Agressive BFG
> With this, I not-so-humbly submit my suggestions for the SF/Fantasy Cinema
>Hall of Shame...
>
> Beastmaster 2: Through the Portal of Time
> Communion
> Conan the Barbarian
> Conan the Destroyer
> D.A.R.Y.L.
> Heavy Metal
> Hook
> Krull
> Legend
> The Navigator: A Medieval Odyssey
> The NeverEnding Story II: The Next Chapter
> Nightfall
> Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
> Solarbabies
> THX 1138
> Until The End of the World
> Warrior of the Lost World
>
> What do you think, sirs? :-)
>
> Love & kisses,
>
> The Stainless Steel Moviegoer
>
> "Hey Luke, we're gonna have company!"
> -- Han Solo (Harrison Ford),
> _Star Wars_
Try 'a alt.tv.mst3k <ret>', Joel.
And Conan wasn't *that* bad.
Hit the button, Frank.
Paal Ditlefsen Ekran
> Communion
> Conan the Barbarian
> Conan the Destroyer
> D.A.R.Y.L.
> Heavy Metal
> Hook
> Krull
> Legend
> The Navigator: A Medieval Odyssey
> The NeverEnding Story II: The Next Chapter
> Nightfall
> Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
> Solarbabies
> Until The End of the World
> Warrior of the Lost World
>
> What do you think, sirs? :-)
There are more : Plan 9 from outer space !!!!!
********************************************************************************
. Information
Pal Ditlefsen Ekran aka 1127 Gandalf (ECS Amiga) Wants to
paa...@stud.cs.uit.no Be free.
In real world > Olav Dahlsgate 47, 9501 Eidskjosen, Norway.
listning to Electric Music(Kraftwerk),Ministry,Front242 and Tangerine Dream
You are black, I am white, but our shadows are still the like (Tarzan)
The opinions above belongs to me, only me, me, me, me, me, MEEEE !
********************************************************************************
Avoid normal situations.
: Beastmaster 2: Through the Portal of Time
: > Communion
: > Conan the Barbarian
: > Conan the Destroyer
: > D.A.R.Y.L.
: > Heavy Metal
: > Hook
: > Krull
: > Legend
: > The Navigator: A Medieval Odyssey
: > The NeverEnding Story II: The Next Chapter
: > Nightfall
: > Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
: > Solarbabies
: > THX 1138 <---------- Naaeee this is a good one !!!!
: > Until The End of the World
: > Warrior of the Lost World
: >
: > What do you think, sirs? :-)
: There are more : Plan 9 from outer space !!!!!
I would like to add _The Ewok Adventure_ and _Stalker_ as well.
The Stainless Steel Moviegoer
Marc Y. Wasserman
And please, don't forget "Highlander 2". What a travesty of talent.
Marc
mwas...@du.edu
--
"So you're choosing to run from your own people in a rackety old TARDIS?"
D O C T O R W H O
30 Years
"Why not? After all, that's how it all started!"
David J.
>>: Beastmaster 2: Through the Portal of Time
>>: > Communion
>>: > Conan the Barbarian
>>: > Conan the Destroyer
>>: > D.A.R.Y.L.
>>: > Heavy Metal
>>: > Hook
>>: > Krull
>>: > Legend
>>: > The Navigator: A Medieval Odyssey
>>: > The NeverEnding Story II: The Next Chapter
>>: > Nightfall
>>: > Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
>>: > Solarbabies
>>: > THX 1138 <---------- Naaeee this is a good one !!!!
>>: > Until The End of the World
>>: > Warrior of the Lost World
"You know, it's not the apocalypse, it's the humidity..."
>>Plan 9 from outer space !!!!!
>>_The Ewok Adventure_
>>_Stalker_
>"Highlander 2"
Lest the non-MSTies reading this forget:
- It Conquered The World ("He learned too late that man was a feeling
creature...")
- Rocketship X-M
- The Giant Gila Monster ("NEW YORK CITY????")
- Attack of the Giant Leeches ("Oh, I'm a danger to myself and others...")
- Hangar 18
- Any Gamera Movie
- Teenagers From Outer Space (Sheer TOR-CHAR!!!)
- Indestructible Man ("I gotta take a big indestructible whiz.")
- Fire Maidens From Outer Space
- Monster A-Go-Go
And, possibly the worst movie ever made:
- Manos, The Hands of Fate (Call Torgo's Pizza today!)
--
David J.---------...@silver.ucs.indiana.edu------------GO HOOSIERS!!!
| Hip Hop |************ HIP HOP CENTRAL with David J. Warner ************|
| Junkie and |**** Cable radio's phattest show - Saturdays 9pm-Midnight ****|
| MST3K Fan |***** Exclusively on WIUS--95.1 FMCable, Bloomington, IN *****|
Mark Andrew Silvester
>: There are more : Plan 9 from outer space !!!!!
> I would like to add _The Ewok Adventure_ and _Stalker_ as well.
> The Stainless Steel Moviegoer
Fahrenheit 451 sucked the bigag, too.
--
[] [] [] [][] | Opinions?!?
[][] [][] [][] [] [] | What are those?
[] [][] [] [] [] [] |
[] [] [] [][][][] [] [] | silv...@sfu.ca
[] [] [] [] [][] |
Paal Ditlefsen Ekran
please give me the definition of a horrible film ???
Dale Schouten
>: > Conan the Barbarian
Hey! that was great movie!
No Homework Man
Paal Ditlefsen Ekran <paa...@stud.cs.uit.no> wrote:
> You've all been writeing down names of horrible films, can you
>please give me the definition of a horrible film ???
>
>
In MST3K terms, a 'horrible movie' is one that deserves to be picked on
and devoured by Joel and the 'Bots. Some call 'em Bot Food.
In non-MST3K terms, a 'horrible movie' is one that if you paid to see it
in the theatre, halfway through the opening credits you'd start regretting
that you plunked $6.50 down to see it. If you rented it, then you'd start
regretting that you plunked $2.50 down. And if someone else rented it and
you're watching it, then you'd feel VERY, VERY sorry for that person.
Adding to the list... Freejack. Yikes. No more, please... no more... argh!
Also... Stephen King's 'Sleepwalkers'... did anyone out there actually LIKE
that one?!
--
+-----------------------------+-------------------------------------------+
| spa...@titan.ucs.umass.edu | "With these teeth will you bite me!" |
| | - Tom Servo, MST3K |
+-----------------------------+-------------------------------------------+
Avoid normal situations.
: Also... Stephen King's 'Sleepwalkers'... did anyone out there actually LIKE
: that one?!
Mememememememe! :-)
The Stainless Steel Moviegoer
Bill Heiden
Lawnmower Man - The absolute worst! The hint of some interesting
computer graphics lured me into paying full price
on opening day for this dog.
Jan Ingvoldstad
In article <27nnjq$s...@titan.ucs.umass.edu>, spa...@titan.ucs.umass.edu (No Homework Man) writes:
> In article <1993Sep21.1...@news.uit.no>,
> Paal Ditlefsen Ekran <paa...@stud.cs.uit.no> wrote:
> > You've all been writeing down names of horrible films, can you
> >please give me the definition of a horrible film ???
> >
> >
>
>
> In MST3K terms, a 'horrible movie' is one that deserves to be picked on
> and devoured by Joel and the 'Bots. Some call 'em Bot Food.
>
> In non-MST3K terms, a 'horrible movie' is one that if you paid to see it
> in the theatre, halfway through the opening credits you'd start regretting
> that you plunked $6.50 down to see it. If you rented it, then you'd start
> regretting that you plunked $2.50 down. And if someone else rented it and
> you're watching it, then you'd feel VERY, VERY sorry for that person.
>
> Adding to the list... Freejack. Yikes. No more, please... no more... argh!
>
>
> Also... Stephen King's 'Sleepwalkers'... did anyone out there actually LIKE
> that one?!
Talking about Stephen King - well, here's another MARVELLOUS ( :-> )
S.K. movie:
Maximum Overdrive
It 'fits' the SF group of movies somehow, and I was completely enthralled by it
- - N O T ! !
Jan
Paal Ditlefsen Ekran
and some of you have tried to give me a clear definition on what a
bad movie is.. What is a bad movie from an objective point of view
that you did not like the movie does not mean that it is bad. Coz
other people might like the move. So, what is the definition ???
Dan Winsor
> Also... Stephen King's 'Sleepwalkers'... did anyone out there actually LIKE
> that one?!
Only for the fact that many cats were being killed left and right in many
nasty ways... Way to go.
(As always my opinions do not reflect anyone else's but are the only right
ones.)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
| Dan Winsor | |
| Picture Tel SQA Engineer | "Invincibility is in oneself, vulnerability |
| win...@roadrunner.pictel.com | is in the opponent..." |
| Voice: (508) 977-8245 | - Sun Tzu "The Art of War" |
| Fax: (508) 531-1510 | |
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
mark_b.
Stain,
You have neglected to include the detestable "Zardoz" in your list. You
should also remove the two Conan movies (which were - IMHO - brilliant
and don't belong in the SF category anyway).
(Giant floating head of) Mark B.
Joshua R. Poulson
|> You have neglected to include the detestable "Zardoz" in your list. You
|> should also remove the two Conan movies (which were - IMHO - brilliant
|> and don't belong in the SF category anyway).
Add "Invasion of the Spiders" with William Shatner. Very Mistable.
--JRP
Jason Duelge
> I've been reading about all these movies that you all think is bad
> and some of you have tried to give me a clear definition on what a
> bad movie is.. What is a bad movie from an objective point of view
> that you did not like the movie does not mean that it is bad. Coz
> other people might like the move. So, what is the definition ???
>
Some movies are definitely not good, but one can enjoy watching them
anyway, for whatever reason. However, there are movies that very few
people can find enjoyable, for any reason.
Galaxy of Terror springs to mind, but only because i just watched it.
The movie was only remotely tolerable ... because those of us watching
it made fun of it constantly (ala Joel and the bots) ... however, this
shouldn't be necessary. We could have been playing cards or something
else. :)
Anyway, its all subjective. Some people list things like 'plan 9 from
outer space', which, while bad in some sense, is enjoyable to watch for
many people.
Jason
--
| Jason Duelge | The quickest and most economical way of winning a |
| 141 Lakewood Gardens | military decision is to defeat an enemy not at his |
| Madison, WI 53704 | weakest but at his strongest point. |
| 608-249-9036 | Epaminondas (?) |
Mark Vieselmeyer
: Stain,
: You have neglected to include the detestable "Zardoz" in your list. You
: should also remove the two Conan movies (which were - IMHO - brilliant
: and don't belong in the SF category anyway).
Heretic. Zardoz was the best James Bond flick ever made.
: (Giant floating head of) Mark B.
--
mark
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
% Do not scream, shout, or speak in a loud manner. Most %
% things can be handled quietly. --Ni, Hua Ching %
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
BogusMan
There are many things that can render a film horrible, but lets say that
a horrible film is a special combination of enthusiasm, bad acting, indifferent
or worse direction, technical incompetence, and the keypin of any bad
film
a bad script.
I suggest that if you need more of a definition, sit through a double feature
of "Manos, The Hands Of Fate", and "Malibu High", and you should be able
to come up with your own.
Pax
--Judex--
BogusMan
Add me to the list of supporters. after over a decade of generally terrible
films based on SK stories, it was nice to see one that almost worked, and
was fun to watch.
But try to watch "Graveyard Shift" sometime. Now that sucked!
Pax
--Judex--
PS: with the exception of "
"Carrie", "The Dead Zone", and "the shining", I think just about all of SK's
film adaptations bite the big pagoda!
But that is just me...
mark_b.
In article <27qc51$4...@hpbs3591.boi.hp.com> mvi...@boi.hp.com (Mark Vieselmeyer) writes:
>MarkB. wrote:
>
>: Stain,
>
>: You have neglected to include the detestable "Zardoz" in your list. You
>: should also remove the two Conan movies (which were - IMHO - brilliant
>: and don't belong in the SF category anyway).
>
>Heretic. Zardoz was the best James Bond flick ever made.
Shurely you jest, Shirley. OCTOPUSSY was the best JB flick ever!
Mark B.
>%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
>% "Octopussy. Oh, Octopussy!" %
>% --Louis Jordan %
>%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
Avoid normal situations.
: Stain,
: You have neglected to include the detestable "Zardoz" in your list.
True... however, I was limiting my list to SF/fantasy films that I just
*hated*. _Zardoz_ IMHO is certainly no classic, but I think it has *some*
redeeming values, e.g. its utter weirdness. Who can forget "THE GUN IS
GOOD! THE PENIS IS EVIL!"
: You
: should also remove the two Conan movies (which were - IMHO - brilliant
: and don't belong in the SF category anyway).
Well... for one thing, I announced the nominees as submissions to the
SF/*fantasy* Hall of Shame, and sword & sorcery flicks (like the Conan
films and all the wannabes they spawned) are definitely that.
For another, I saw 'em both, and I must admit I hated them both.
_Conan the Barbarian_ I saw in its theatrical release, and I remember it
as being the film I hated the most of anything that I saw in 1982. (I
know a lot of people aren't gonna like me saying that, but, as Joe Bob
Briggs puts it, "This isn't Communist Russia".)
< < SPOILER WARNING > > >
I saw Paul M. Sammon at the San Diego Comic Con a while back. He regaled his
audience with various behind-the-scenes stories, one of which involved the
infamous beheading of Thulsa Doom by Conan at the end.
Originally, when Doom got his craniectomy, a large snake crawled out of
his neck afterwards. However, the director, John Milius, cut it out of the
version that was eventually released. When asked why, he replied with
something like, "Oh, that's fantasy, I don't like that."
Evidently, John Milius hates the fantasy genre... and he had been assigned
to helm the movie version of one of fantasy literature's most famous stories.
It *shows*, if you ask me. I don't remember all *that* much after eleven
years, but I *can* tell you that I wondered if the filmmakers had formulated
the following rules before filming: 1) All womenfolk must get naked at some
point. 2) All menfolk must die violent, gory deaths.
Sorry, Mark, and all you Conan fans out there, but _Barbarian_ really turned
my stomach.
I saw _Destroyer_ last January. (It was twofer-Tuesday night at the local
video shop, and prices were so cheap that I had run them out of anything that
was *supposed* to be good, so I was trolling for stuff that I hoped, on the
off-chance, *might* be good... so I was getting the occasional worthwhile
flick [_Masters of the Universe_ {yes, _Masters of the Universe_ :-)},
_Witchboard_] and a whole lot of also-rans and muck [_Terror Train_,
Dario's _Creepers_, _A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: The Dream Warriors_,
etc.].) Not as much gratuitous gore, and a not-bad Carlo Rambaldi beastie
at the end, but IMHO boring as hell.
As an aside, Mark, since you're evidently a Conan fan... according to
Mr. Sammon, Arnold Schwarzenegger is interested in getting another Conan
movie made. It's supposedly going to be about Conan falling into a time
portal of some kind and ending up in modern-day New York, and Arnie wants
to direct it himself.
Love & kisses,
The Stainless Steel Moviegoer
"Lamberto Bava, an easy-going,
roly-poly kind of guy, is an
obvious talent who needs regular
kicks up the butt to produce
anything like the work he is
capable of." -- John Martin,
"Olde Worlde Horrors"
Ron Asbestos Dippold
>Mr. Sammon, Arnold Schwarzenegger is interested in getting another Conan
>movie made. It's supposedly going to be about Conan falling into a time
>portal of some kind and ending up in modern-day New York, and Arnie wants
>to direct it himself.
Interestingly enough, this was an actual Marvel comic - one of the
"What If?" series. In the comic he encounters Spider Man, but I doubt
that would happen here.
--
Naeser's Law: You can make it foolproof, but you can't make it damnfoolproof.
Marc Y. Wasserman
>'Wizard of Mars' is one SF movie THAT REALLY SUCKS!!!
>One of the all-time worst, almost as bad as 'The Black Hole' by Disney.
>--
>Ken Papai, Sunnyvale, Calif.
>kpa...@rahul.net "Mars Observer: phone home!"
Hey, hey, the Black Hole is not a bad movie, if you put it in its
time frame. It had good special effects, a decent plot, the
omnipresent likable robot and was far far better than most of the
sleeper Disney movies.
Granted, it could be Misted fine, but still...
Susie Lee (STAR)
seriously painful. Long, long long long lasting pain.
Can't really comment on Zardoz. Haven't seen it for a while, and
if what the psychiatrist of the world say is true, maybe it was so painful
I blocked out the whole experience.
Gotta go
susie
Video Goddess
Ken Papai
>> Also... Stephen King's 'Sleepwalkers'... did anyone out there actually LIKE
>> that one?!
>Only for the fact that many cats were being killed left and right in many
>nasty ways... Way to go.
'Sleepwalkers' is NOT an SF film. It's an extremely formulaic horror
movie about shape shifters.
'Sleepwalkers' sucks so much that the dumbass movie-makers put
mountains in Indiana! The only thing redeeming about the movie
is the extremely attactive shape shifting mother.
Jan Ingvoldstad
In article <1993Sep22.2...@alchemy.chem.utoronto.ca>, Mark B. writes:
>
> In article <27qc51$4...@hpbs3591.boi.hp.com> mvi...@boi.hp.com (Mark Vieselmeyer) writes:
> >MarkB. wrote:
> >
> >: Stain,
> >
> >: You have neglected to include the detestable "Zardoz" in your list. You
> >: should also remove the two Conan movies (which were - IMHO - brilliant
> >: and don't belong in the SF category anyway).
> >
> >Heretic. Zardoz was the best James Bond flick ever made.
>
> Shurely you jest, Shirley. OCTOPUSSY was the best JB flick ever!
>
> Mark B.
>
No, no, no, no, no! You've got it wrong, both of you! CASINO ROYALE was
definitively the best 007 flick ever! Or perhaps you haven't seen it? It
is a bit SF, considering Woody Allens miniature nuke-pill.
Jan
- - - Ribbit, ribbit - - -
Cindy Vanous
>> Also... Stephen King's 'Sleepwalkers'... did anyone out there actually LIKE
>> that one?!
>Only for the fact that many cats were being killed left and right in many
>nasty ways... Way to go.
>(As always my opinions do not reflect anyone else's but are the only right
>ones.)
Your ideas may be as right as you are deluding yourself into thinking they are,
BUT THEY HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH MST3K, so you know where you can jam them.
The Cypherkat, fan of MST3K _and_ Sleepwalkers, cat-lover, and net-junkie
(still wondering how they got a herd of cats to run around a corner :-)
mark_b.
In article <27qfai$r...@pandora.sdsu.edu> masc...@ucssun1.sdsu.edu (Avoid normal situations.) writes:
>MarkB. wrote:
>
>: Stain,
>
>: You have neglected to include the detestable "Zardoz" in your list.
>
> True... however, I was limiting my list to SF/fantasy films that I just
>*hated*. _Zardoz_ IMHO is certainly no classic, but I think it has *some*
>redeeming values, e.g. its utter weirdness. Who can forget "THE GUN IS
>GOOD! THE PENIS IS EVIL!"
<SHUDDER> I had forgotten it until you mentioned it.
>: You
>: should also remove the two Conan movies (which were - IMHO - brilliant
>: and don't belong in the SF category anyway).
>
> Well... for one thing, I announced the nominees as submissions to the
>SF/*fantasy* Hall of Shame, and sword & sorcery flicks (like the Conan
>films and all the wannabes they spawned) are definitely that.
Doesn't appear in the header. Be more specific next time.
> I saw Paul M. Sammon at the San Diego Comic Con a while back. He regaled his
>audience with various behind-the-scenes stories, one of which involved the
>infamous beheading of Thulsa Doom by Conan at the end.
A classic scene. I was on the edge of my seat. Thumbs up.
> Originally, when Doom got his craniectomy, a large snake crawled out of
>his neck afterwards. However, the director, John Milius, cut it out of the
>version that was eventually released. When asked why, he replied with
>something like, "Oh, that's fantasy, I don't like that."
> Evidently, John Milius hates the fantasy genre... and he had been assigned
>to helm the movie version of one of fantasy literature's most famous stories.
There are many examples of creators who despise their (successful) creations.
Sometimes the creative process is bettered by a critical eye.
>It *shows*, if you ask me. I don't remember all *that* much after eleven
>years, but I *can* tell you that I wondered if the filmmakers had formulated
>the following rules before filming: 1) All womenfolk must get naked at some
>point. 2) All menfolk must die violent, gory deaths.
As is the case with any of the Howard pulp novels. The filmakers were faithful
to this ideal. They just camped it up a bit. IMHO - it worked well.
> Sorry, Mark, and all you Conan fans out there, but _Barbarian_ really turned
>my stomach.
Sorry to hear it, Stain. The only movie that has ever induced me to vomit
was the accursed "Dune".
> I saw _Destroyer_ last January...not as much gratuitous gore, and a not-bad
>Carlo Rambaldi beastie at the end, but IMHO boring as hell.
You have no taste, sir.
> As an aside, Mark, since you're evidently a Conan fan... according to
>Mr. Sammon, Arnold Schwarzenegger is interested in getting another Conan
>movie made. It's supposedly going to be about Conan falling into a time
>portal of some kind and ending up in modern-day New York, and Arnie wants
>to direct it himself.
Pray that Arnie is hit by a bus before this happens.
Mark B.
mark_b.
>Ummm - Did anyone mention, Message From Space..? Truly painful,
>seriously painful. Long, long long long lasting pain.
I must admit that I haven't seen this one. It has no redeeming
values whatsoever? Not even Stain would enjoy it?
>Can't really comment on Zardoz. Haven't seen it for a while, and
>if what the psychiatrist of the world say is true, maybe it was so
>painful I blocked out the whole experience.
After a serious trauma, the brain often blocks out horrific events.
Zardoz was responsible for a lot of psychic pain in the late(?)
seventies. Our collective sanity has never really recovered. John
Bradshaw cites this phenomena in his newest self-help publication:
"Healing The Child Within Who Snuck
In To See The Dirty Bits In Zardoz."
I highly recommend it.
>Gotta go
>
>susie
>Video Goddess
susie,
Given that you are an employee at Mauswitz, would you care to comment
on some of Mr. Disney's sadder efforts? (Witch Mountain, Black Hole etc.)
Mark B.
Michael K Leung
>masc...@ucssun1.sdsu.edu (Avoid normal situations.) writes:
>> As an aside, Mark, since you're evidently a Conan fan... according to
>>Mr. Sammon, Arnold Schwarzenegger is interested in getting another Conan
>>movie made. It's supposedly going to be about Conan falling into a time
>>portal of some kind and ending up in modern-day New York, and Arnie wants
>>to direct it himself.
>
>Interestingly enough, this was an actual Marvel comic - one of the
>"What If?" series. In the comic he encounters Spider Man, but I doubt
>that would happen here.
The two-part issues "What if" of Conan being in New York are
wonderful, and so much better in art and writing comparing to the current
"What if" series. By the way, Conan encounters Cap. America in the second
part, "What if Conan stayed in New York?"
- MIke
Avoid normal situations.
: In article <27qfai$r...@pandora.sdsu.edu> masc...@ucssun1.sdsu.edu (Avoid normal situations.) writes:
: >MarkB. wrote:
: >
: >: Stain,
: >
: >: You have neglected to include the detestable "Zardoz" in your list.
: >
: > True... however, I was limiting my list to SF/fantasy films that I just
: >*hated*. _Zardoz_ IMHO is certainly no classic, but I think it has *some*
: >redeeming values, e.g. its utter weirdness. Who can forget "THE GUN IS
: >GOOD! THE PENIS IS EVIL!"
: <SHUDDER> I had forgotten it until you mentioned it.
"...but I too am merely a shadow conjured for your entertainment. Is
God in show business too?"
: > I saw Paul M. Sammon at the San Diego Comic Con a while back. He regaled his
: >audience with various behind-the-scenes stories, one of which involved the
: >infamous beheading of Thulsa Doom by Conan at the end.
: A classic scene. I was on the edge of my seat. Thumbs up.
There was substantial cheering in the theatre when I saw it.
: > Originally, when Doom got his craniectomy, a large snake crawled out of
: >his neck afterwards. However, the director, John Milius, cut it out of the
: >version that was eventually released. When asked why, he replied with
: >something like, "Oh, that's fantasy, I don't like that."
: > Evidently, John Milius hates the fantasy genre... and he had been assigned
: >to helm the movie version of one of fantasy literature's most famous stories.
: There are many examples of creators who despise their (successful) creations.
: Sometimes the creative process is bettered by a critical eye.
True...
: > Sorry, Mark, and all you Conan fans out there, but _Barbarian_ really turned
: >my stomach.
: Sorry to hear it, Stain. The only movie that has ever induced me to vomit
: was the accursed "Dune".
I really liked _Dune_. I think it helped that I attempted to read the
book first...
: > As an aside, Mark, since you're evidently a Conan fan... according to
: >Mr. Sammon, Arnold Schwarzenegger is interested in getting another Conan
: >movie made. It's supposedly going to be about Conan falling into a time
: >portal of some kind and ending up in modern-day New York, and Arnie wants
: >to direct it himself.
: Pray that Arnie is hit by a bus before this happens.
You may be speaking too soon. The Big Man's quality control has gotten a
lot better in recent years, IMHO.
Love & kisses,
The Stainless Steel Moviegoer
"He tried to steal more chain
than he could swim with."
-- old slave traders' joke
Robert C.Haushalter
>
> You may be speaking too soon. The Big Man's quality control has gotten a
>lot better in recent years, IMHO.
>
> Love & kisses,
>
> The Stainless Steel Moviegoer
Why don't you sign your real name?
--
The opinions are mine..not my company's.
Actually, everything is more complicated
Beware of any endeavor requiring new clothes -H.D. Thoreau
And, as digestive a good, not smelling portion of open legs. -Michele
mark_b.
> I really liked _Dune_. I think it helped that I attempted to read the
>book first...
...and follows quickly with...
> You may be speaking too soon. The Big Man's (Arnold S.) quality control
>has gotten a lot better in recent years, IMHO.
Let me get this straight. You liked Lynch's "Dune" and you think that "The Last
Action Hero" is better than "Predator"?
So, how are you able to post from that alternate universe of yours, Stain?
Don't the baud rates vary?
Mark B.
Harlan Freilicher
>
>
>No, no, no, no, no! You've got it wrong, both of you! CASINO ROYALE was
>definitively the best 007 flick ever! Or perhaps you haven't seen it? It
>is a bit SF, considering Woody Allens miniature nuke-pill.
Okay, I agree that CR was the best James Bond movie ever made; it
gave you more James Bond for your money than all the others combined (several
dozen James Bonds, in fact). But is the nuke pill the only SF part you could
think of? What about the designer virus that would kill all men taller than
Woody and make all women beautiful? Or the flying saucer the bad guys just
happened to own? Or the prospect of virtually all the world's governments
cooperating?
"Go on, laugh. They laughed at Einstein."
"Nobody laughed at Einstein!"
"Well, they would have, if he'd carried on like this!"
Have a plaid day,
Harlan
--
______________________________________________________________________
| Harlan Freilicher | "He's a woozle, and his name is Peanut." |
| har...@acpub.duke.edu | |
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Avoid normal situations.
: In article <27sq9u$c...@pandora.sdsu.edu> masc...@ucssun1.sdsu.edu (Avoid normal situations.) writes:
: >
: > You may be speaking too soon. The Big Man's quality control has gotten a
: >lot better in recent years, IMHO.
: >
: > Love & kisses,
: >
: > The Stainless Steel Moviegoer
: Why don't you sign your real name?
Well... for one thing... I like how Vernor Vinge puts it: "If you are
actually stupid enough to post to Usenet, anybody can send a message to
the [nameserver or whatever the hell it is] at MIT and get your e-mail
address."
Obrec.arts.sf.movies: Yes, I think _Alien^3_ *should* be considered
part of the Alien series, and, in fact, I rather liked it.
Obalt.tv.mst3k: _The Cave Dwellers_ is actually _The Blade Master_ with
about 60 seconds of additional footage which has nothing to do with the
rest of the film... but most of you hardcore mst3k/film fans probably
knew that already (this means *you*, J. :-) ).
Obflame: Nyah nyah nyah! :-)
Love & kisses,
The Stainless Steel Moviegoer
"Og threw a bone in the air
and it turned into a spaceship!"
-- the MST3K version of _The
Cave Dwellers_
Avoid normal situations.
: In article <27sq9u$c...@pandora.sdsu.edu> masc...@ucssun1.sdsu.edu (Stain) writes:
: > I really liked _Dune_. I think it helped that I attempted to read the
: >book first...
: ...and follows quickly with...
: > You may be speaking too soon. The Big Man's (Arnold S.) quality control
: >has gotten a lot better in recent years, IMHO.
: Let me get this straight. You liked Lynch's "Dune"
Ayup. David Lynch's work is so consistently awesome that I sometimes
wonder how the other studios can possibly summon the nerve to release
other movies at the same time his are playing. Let's face it, egomania
*can* be functional.
: and you think that "The Last Action Hero" is better than "Predator"?
Actually, I haven't said that, but now that you mention it, *yes*.
I like _Predator_, but I like _Last Action Hero_ even more. I thoroughly
enjoyed the comedy and the fantasy elements, and it's the first film
to have the best of both worlds of the parody form (i.e. simultaneously
mock *and* emulate its target, and work very well both ways) since
_Raiders of the Lost Ark_.
: So, how are you able to post from that alternate universe of yours, Stain?
It's like this, Mark... a few years ago, my little sister fell through
this wormhole in the space/time continuum that happened to be in her
bedroom, and while my parents were having me mess around in The 'Tween
Place trying to find her, I happened upon the gateway to your world. It
took quite a while to get her back, but we agreed that I'd buy her the
complete set of Barbie and Ken dolls if she helped me wire up the
ethernet connections. So when I'm not reading my favorite science fiction
novels by Robert O. Heinlein and Isaac Karamazov, or reading the
love poems of Edgar Rice Burroughs, I spend my (little) spare time whiling
away the hours on Usenet. Great fun!
Love & kisses,
The Stainless Steel Moviegoer
"Go ahead... make my day."
-- Scarlett O'Hara (Vivian
Leigh), _Gone With The Wind_
Sean McAfee
>'Wizard of Mars' is one SF movie THAT REALLY SUCKS!!!
>One of the all-time worst, almost as bad as 'The Black Hole' by Disney.
Have to agree with you here. One of my best friends and I saw this one a
few years ago, when we regularly scoured video stores looking for bad movies
to watch. This was long before either of us had ever heard of MST.
By-the-by...I posted an article here around mid-August, about a newspaper
article that appeared in the Kalamazoo Gazette. It was about MST, and
referred to the previous weekend's episode as EEGAH!, even though CC had
screwed up and shown "Cave Dwellers". My account was pulled for the summer
immediately after posting this, so I didn't see any replies. Did the
article ever see the light of day?
Anyway, if it didn't, I think Joel's own definition of a bad movie from that
article is a pretty good one. It's "when they try to do a Viking movie and
they should have done a beach movie".
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sean McAfee smmc...@mtu.edu
OMAC leaps as ripping death roars in with working jaws! (Omac #3)
Robert Church
>know a lot of people aren't gonna like me saying that, but, as Joe Bob
>Briggs puts it, "This isn't Communist Russia".)
I believe that's 'this hain't Communist Russia'. :-)
Andy Bovingdon
May I suggest 'Slipstream' with Mark 'where did my career go' Hamil
Bov!
--
_ __ __ _ __________________________________________________________
| |\ / /| | A.BOVINGDON (Bov) IXI Limited Email: b...@x.co.uk
| | / / | | Project Manager Vision Park Tel : +44 223 236555
|_|/_/_\|_| Cambridge UK FAX : +44 223 236466
Markus Stumptner
> I really liked _Dune_. I think it helped that I attempted to read the
>book first...
From what I have seen, most people who hate the film *are* those who have
read the book first. The ones who didn't are merely confused (unless they're
diehard Lynch fans, in which case they are confused but moderately happy :-).
Personally, I'm on the side of those who think it's garbage (yes, I read the
book long before the film came out. :-)
---
Markus Stumptner m...@vexpert.dbai.tuwien.ac.at
University of Technology Vienna vexpert!m...@relay.eu.net
Paniglg. 16, A-1040 Vienna, Austria ...mcsun!vexpert!mst
Nico Veenkamp
> > >Heretic. Zardoz was the best James Bond flick ever made.
> > Shurely you jest, Shirley. OCTOPUSSY was the best JB flick ever!
> No, no, no, no, no! You've got it wrong, both of you! CASINO ROYALE was
> definitively the best 007 flick ever! Or perhaps you haven't seen it? It
> is a bit SF, considering Woody Allens miniature nuke-pill.
YES! YES! The only decent part by David Niven
insert lot's of smileys here.
*================================================================*
| Nico Veenkamp | You write, we publish |
| Stam Tijdschriften bv | -------------------------------------|
| P.O. Box 235 | Internet : nic...@stam.nl |
| 2280 AE Rijswijk | BIX : nic...@bix.com |
| The Netherlands | FidoNet : 2:281/1.7 |
*================================================================*
Stephen King
Jason Duelge <due...@schaefer.math.wisc.edu> wrote:
>Galaxy of Terror springs to mind, but only because i just watched it.
How about "Amazon Women on the Moon", or "Revenge of the Killer Tomatoes".
Both almost intolerably bad.
--
Se non e` vero, e` ben trovato
...{utzoo|mnetor}!dciem!dretor!king ki...@dretor.dciem.dnd.ca
Stephen King
BogusMan <don...@seaotter.micro.umn.edu> wrote:
>PS: with the exception of "
>"Carrie", "The Dead Zone", and "the shining", I think just about all of SK's
>film adaptations bite the big pagoda!
I thought that "Christine" was one of the funniest movies I've ever seen.
I don't think that one should be too critical of such movies - they're all
just for fun, not meant as fine works of cinematic art. (for that, watch
Kubrick's "Barry Lyndon", if you can stay awake long enough)
So sayeth the 'other' Stephen King.
Jan Ingvoldstad
In article <X0qDac...@stam.nl>, nic...@stam.nl (Nico Veenkamp) writes:
> ja...@ifi.uio.no (Jan Ingvoldstad) writes:
>
> > > >Heretic. Zardoz was the best James Bond flick ever made.
> > > Shurely you jest, Shirley. OCTOPUSSY was the best JB flick ever!
> > No, no, no, no, no! You've got it wrong, both of you! CASINO ROYALE was
> > definitively the best 007 flick ever! Or perhaps you haven't seen it? It
> > is a bit SF, considering Woody Allens miniature nuke-pill.
>
> YES! YES! The only decent part by David Niven
Eeeerrrrr... Do you mean ''This was the only decent part D.N. ever played''
or ''The only decent part in CR was played by D.N.''? In both cases, I
disagree, and I think he was the best actor in CR. Just take a look at
''The Pink Panther'' (19-many-years-ago) and the dracula-movie he played in.
In addition to these three films, he has showed us many fine character
interpretations in films from 1940 until he died in 1983.
>
> insert lot's of smileys here.
OK. :-) &:-] #-\ (-::-) .<siamese smiley>. [;=E] .<flirting, two-nosed, buck-
toothed vampire robot smiley>.
>
>
> *================================================================*
> | Nico Veenkamp | You write, we publish |
> | Stam Tijdschriften bv | -------------------------------------|
> | P.O. Box 235 | Internet : nic...@stam.nl |
> | 2280 AE Rijswijk | BIX : nic...@bix.com |
> | The Netherlands | FidoNet : 2:281/1.7 |
> *================================================================*
And for heaven's sake: Stop flaming 'poor innocent' Lewis! Then perhaps I
won't have to spend so much time finding out what is new, interesting
contributions to this group and what is not. >:->
Jan
- - - Read between the lines. Between the lines, Mr. Matrix. - - -
John Switzer
>ja...@ifi.uio.no (Jan Ingvoldstad) writes:
>
>> > >Heretic. Zardoz was the best James Bond flick ever made.
>> > Shurely you jest, Shirley. OCTOPUSSY was the best JB flick ever!
>> No, no, no, no, no! You've got it wrong, both of you! CASINO ROYALE was
>> definitively the best 007 flick ever! Or perhaps you haven't seen it? It
>> is a bit SF, considering Woody Allens miniature nuke-pill.
>
>YES! YES! The only decent part by David Niven
The sad thing is that Casino Royale was actually fairly loyal to the
book, as far as it went. Sigh - it was my favorite Bond story, and
we'll probably never get a good movie version of it. At least it was
better than the "James Bond" hour TV special done in the early 60s
which had Bond as an American and Felix Leiter as the Brit!
--
John Switzer | "You probably can't imagine what it is like
| to be so lost and frightened that you will
CompuServe: 74076,1250 | listen to any voice which promises change."
Internet: j...@netcom.com| --Hugh the Borg, or any repentant Clinton voter
Gary Bradley
+---------------------+------------------------------------------+
| Gary Bradley | "You receive a love letter from me and |
| ORACLE Corp, UK | you're f*cked forever!" |
| Edinburgh, SCOTLAND | - Frank Booth ("Blue Velvet") |
+---------------------+------------------------------------------+
| Email: gbra...@uk.oracle.com |
+----------------------------------------------------------------+
| G O D D A M N T H E C E N S O R M A N |
+----------------------------------------------------------------+
Cindy Vanous
EXCELLENT movie! I'm afraid there's not much the bots could do with this. I
mean, yes, you can really MST _any_ movie, whether or not it's bad, but
Slipstream had too much dialogue and not enough quiet bits for proper MSTing.
I suggest "Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone" for Worst SF Ever.
NOT ONLY was it ROYALLY BAD, but it had more padding than a futon.
:-P Cindy :-)
Joshua R. Poulson
|> Blade Runner
Which one? Either the theatrical release or the director's cut, I
thought it was an excellent movie... and certainly not very MSTable
with all that violence and sex in it.
Joel and the bots would be in awe too much to make it funny.
--JRP
Ron Hitchens
>>Mr. Sammon, Arnold Schwarzenegger is interested in getting another Conan
>>movie made. It's supposedly going to be about Conan falling into a time
>>portal of some kind and ending up in modern-day New York, and Arnie wants
>>to direct it himself.
>
>"What If?" series. In the comic he encounters Spider Man, but I doubt
>that would happen here.
>Naeser's Law: You can make it foolproof, but you can't make it damnfoolproof.
Arnie already made this movie, sort of. Anyone remember "Hercules in
New York"? I think this was the first film the Schwarz-meister ever appeared
in. It was a stinky piece of tripe, a budget-less Italian klunker from the
seventies. I think it only ever got released because Arnie became semi-famous
because of his body-building titles shortly thereafter. But he was billed
as Arnold Stang (or was it Arnold Strong?), and all of his dialog was
overdubbed. Come to think of it, this would be a perfect candidate for MTS3K.
"I'll be back" -Richard Nixon
--
Ron Hitchens /-O-O | hitc...@unislc.slc.unisys.com - Internet
Unisys C > | ro...@vixen.uucp - Smart uucp
OS Support ~ | ...!unislc!vixen!ronbo - Stupid uucp
"Push the button, Frank" -Dr. Clayton Forrester
Robert Reeves
What was that film that had a bunch of rolarskating teens in
the post apocalypse looking for water. Solarbabies? Certainly right
up there is MSTability.
--
Robert Reeves rre...@bu.edu
"Stop laughing! I am the authour,
you are the audience! I outrank you!
Mel Brooks "The Producers"
--------------------------------------------
Chuck Schneider
> suc...@ucssun1.sdsu.edu (Avoid normal situations.) writes:
> >Paal Ditlefsen Ekran (paa...@stud.cs.uit.no) wrote:
> >: Beastmaster 2: Through the Portal of Time
> >: > Communion
> >: > Conan the Barbarian
> >: > Conan the Destroyer
> >: > D.A.R.Y.L.
> >: > Heavy Metal
> >: > Hook
> >: > Krull
> >: > Legend
> >: > The Navigator: A Medieval Odyssey
> >: > The NeverEnding Story II: The Next Chapter
> >: > Nightfall
> >: > Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
> >: > Solarbabies
> >: > THX 1138 <---------- Naaeee this is a good one !!
> >: > Until The End of the World
> >: > Warrior of the Lost World
> >: >
> >: > What do you think, sirs? :-)
> >
> >: There are more : Plan 9 from outer space !!!!!
> >
> > I would like to add _The Ewok Adventure_ and _Stalker_ as well.
> >
> > The Stainless Steel Moviegoer
>
> And please, don't forget "Highlander 2". What a travesty of talent.
>
Conan is cool.
Heavy Metal is cool.
Krull is cool.
These are cool movies,get a brain.
Chuck Schneider - Port Huron,MI - Pirate's Cove BBS (313)982-7545
Jeff_M...@cup.portal.com
>
> Both almost intolerably bad.
(on late night TV) I was in hysterics. (I'm not about to ruin
it for those who haven't seen it... rent it right this minute!)
I don't think "Amazon Women On The Moon" fits in this
discussion one bit.
Paal Ditlefsen Ekran
But then again Cindy we have to look at the definition on a bad movie, well
a bad movie seems to be a movie that nobody likes at all. If I eg. liked
"Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone" then it was not a bad movie
at least not for me. And if we consider that thousands of people have watched
the movie... Well, Are we going to look at the cultural aspect of bad movies,
then nearly every movies would have been bad.. What value is there in seeing
a movie ?? Well, first you have the entertaining value, -> then what is
entertaining.. Somebody like art, some like horror, some like space and
most like action... Did you now that Jurrasic park got a 1 (out of 6) in our
national newspaper ?? They though it was just crap !! Yet the whole world seems to
like it..
Worst movies that I've seen was made by Vibekke Loekkeberg..
********************************************************************************
. Information
Pal Ditlefsen Ekran aka 1127 Gandalf (ECS Amiga) Wants to
paa...@stud.cs.uit.no Be free.
In real world > Olav Dahlsgate 47, 9501 Eidskjosen, Norway.
listning to Electric Music(Kraftwerk),Ministry,Front242 and Tangerine Dream
You are black, I am white, but our shadows are still the like (Tarzan)
The opinions above belongs to me, only me, me, me, me, me, MEEEE !
********************************************************************************
Jan Ingvoldstad
In article <1993Sep25....@news.uit.no>, paa...@stud.cs.uit.no (Paal Ditlefsen Ekran) writes:
> In article <CDvAt...@eskimo.com>, cyp...@eskimo.com (Cindy Vanous) writes:
> |> >May I suggest 'Slipstream' with Mark 'where did my career go' Hamil
> |>
> |> EXCELLENT movie! I'm afraid there's not much the bots could do with this. I
> |> mean, yes, you can really MST _any_ movie, whether or not it's bad, but
> |> Slipstream had too much dialogue and not enough quiet bits for proper MSTing.
> |>
> |> I suggest "Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone" for Worst SF Ever.
> |> NOT ONLY was it ROYALLY BAD, but it had more padding than a futon.
>
> But then again Cindy we have to look at the definition on a bad movie, well
> a bad movie seems to be a movie that nobody likes at all. If I eg. liked
> "Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone" then it was not a bad movie
> at least not for me. And if we consider that thousands of people have watched
> the movie... Well, Are we going to look at the cultural aspect of bad movies,
> then nearly every movies would have been bad.. What value is there in seeing
> a movie ?? Well, first you have the entertaining value, -> then what is
> entertaining.. Somebody like art, some like horror, some like space and
> most like action...
That's true, but remember, Paal, that not all of us actually say that our
opinions are the same as all others. And those of us who promote a movie
as the worst ever, do so because we think it really is. We don't have to
define what a bad movie is - it is individually defined already. Personally,
I like many different kinds of movies, but I have a problem with _BAD_ acting,
though.
> Did you now that Jurrasic park got a 1 (out of 6) in our
> national newspaper ?? They though it was just crap !! Yet the whole world seems to
> like it..
You seem to forget that Aftenposten's Per Haddal wrote something like this -
lousy translation follows:
'Giant dimensions over great joke and thrill from Spielberg'
And it has the current top rank there...
IMHO: Jurassic Park revealed the wonders that can be done with modern movie
technology, and yielded the best special effects in any movie so far. If I
hadn't known better, I would have believed they used _real_ dinosaurs...
It also briefed us on what scientists currently believe the dinosaurs looked
like, their life pattern and intelligence. I prefer to forget about the
mediocre acting and remember it as a unique experience of a movie.
>
> Worst movies that I've seen was made by Vibekke Loekkeberg..
No doubt about that. Last one 'bout Bosnia and such. Shown in seven cities,
and a total of 15 visitors the first day (!) But it is not SF, I'm afraid...
>
>
>
> ********************************************************************************
> . Information
> Pal Ditlefsen Ekran aka 1127 Gandalf (ECS Amiga) Wants to
> paa...@stud.cs.uit.no Be free.
> In real world > Olav Dahlsgate 47, 9501 Eidskjosen, Norway.
> listning to Electric Music(Kraftwerk),Ministry,Front242 and Tangerine Dream
> You are black, I am white, but our shadows are still the like (Tarzan)
>
> The opinions above belongs to me, only me, me, me, me, me, MEEEE !
> ********************************************************************************
Hey! Didn't I use that line before you did?! That's a violation of copyrights,
folks! Oh, well, perhaps it was in another news group - alt.destroy.the.earth
or alt.fan.tolkien or....
Jan
- - - Same country, different interests and city - that's Paal and I - - -
greg berigan
>I suggest "Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone" for Worst SF Ever.
Like Jaws 3, this movie was in 3-D.
I can't believe I just admitted knowing that.
--
gber...@cse.unl.edu (Greg Berigan)
Be articulate! Your new patience will not show up immediately.
Jorn
>
>How about "Amazon Women on the Moon", or "Revenge of the Killer Tomatoes".
>
That's "Return of the Killer Tomatoes". I found
it rather enjoyable. The first movie, "Attack
of the Killer Tomatoes", sucked big time, probably
because I saw that one after ROTKT.
"You wouldn't believe what she can do with a
carton of milk and a tuning fork!" (or something
like that)
Steven Miale
David J. <dwa...@silver.ucs.indiana.edu> wrote:
>Current List:
>>>: Beastmaster 2: Through the Portal of Time
>>>: > Communion
>>>: > Conan the Barbarian
>>>: > Conan the Destroyer
>>>: > D.A.R.Y.L.
>>>: > Heavy Metal
>>>: > Hook
>>>: > Krull
>>>: > Legend
>>>: > The Navigator: A Medieval Odyssey
>>>: > The NeverEnding Story II: The Next Chapter
>>>: > Nightfall
>>>: > Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
>>>: > Solarbabies
Agreed. Classic movie.
>Lest the non-MSTies reading this forget:
>
>- Rocketship X-M
"By this time my lungs were aching for air!"
>- Any Gamera Movie
Gamera is really neat,
He is full of turtle meat,
We all love you GAMERA!
>- Monster A-Go-Go
Monster? What monster? :-)
What else...
- First Spaceship to Venus
- The Day the Earth Froze (SAMPO!!!!!!!!!)
Steve
--
__________________________________________________________
Steven Miale - smi...@indiana.edu | Don't blame me -
Assistant Instructor, CS Department | I voted Libertarian.
Indiana University, Bloomington, IN |
BogusMan
>In article <CDos...@usenet.ucs.indiana.edu>,
>David J. <dwa...@silver.ucs.indiana.edu> wrote:
>>Current List:
<IMHO, of course>
>
>>Lest the non-MSTies reading this forget:
>>
>>- Rocketship X-M
>
>"By this time my lungs were aching for air!"
>
respectable, and is preferred by many <myself included> to the bigger budgeted
and better recieved, "Destination Moon". Now that is pretty funny, but the
followup "Conquest Of Space" is truly a gem of embarassing cinema.
>>- Any Gamera Movie
>
> Gamera is really neat,
> He is full of turtle meat,
> We all love you GAMERA!
>
where did these words come from? No matter. Gamera films are no worse than
american childrens movies dubbed into japanese by uncaring, money grubbing
turds. really!
>>- Monster A-Go-Go
>
>Monster? What monster? :-)
>
still a classic of spackle cinema. H.G. Lewis spackled together new inserts with
100,000 feeto of exposed film that he bought, added mainly closeups, and
released it to theatres. It made a tidy profit as well! Director Bill
rebane went on to do "The giant Spider Invasion", which is initially funnier,
but not any better, even though in color.
>What else...
>- First Spaceship to Venus
this is really unfair. This is considered <in it's original form> to be one
of the finer SF films of the 60's, and one of the best adaptations of the works
of Stanislaw Lem ever made. It is really unjust to condemn a film based upon
a print that is missing over 1/2 hour of footage, and was dubbed by weenies.
Check out the original sometime. And what american SF movie of the time <late
50's> good OR bad, would have had a black crew member? It has dated, but it
is a good period piece, at least in the original form. Judging the bastardized
version is like judging "Gone With The Wind" by a 12 minute black and white
silent version you bought at Woolworths.
>- The Day the Earth Froze (SAMPO!!!!!!!!!)
Again, it is truly unfair to judge a film like this, by the result of AIP
chopping it up, dubbing it badly, and inserting new footage with different
actors. Consideredf by many critics to be among the finest finnish films ever.
But of course, We americans were judged to be too stupid for the original or
something, and so we were left with this bastardized piece of trash as the
only release of the film here. I am told that it has shown in a subtitled
print in some art theatres, to positive reviews. I wish I could find it,
I have always liked the tales of Lemmin-Keiman.
Now if you want a truly bad SF movie, try looking at some of the following:
the End Of The World
The Shape Of Things To Come <70's "remake" that has no relation to the original>
Starship Invaders
the Crawling Terror
mesa Of Lost Women
Zontar, The Thing From Venus
In the Year 2889
Mars Needs Women
The Eye Creatures
Creature Of Destruction
It's Alive <not the mutant baby classic, the one with the monster in the cave>
Frankenstein Meets The Space Monster <aka Mars Invades Puerto Rico>
Blood Of Ghastly Horror <aka Fiend With The Electronic Brain, Psycho-A-Go-Go,
Man With The Synthetic Brain, and probably other titles>
basically, quit looking to studios to make the truly bad films <or truly good
ones, most of the time> and dig up some of the independant attempts, they are
usually much more genuinely bad than the Hollywood product, and far more
entertaining for the bad film buff.
Pax
--Judex--
BogusMan
Well, I saw all the killer tomatoes films in order, and only the first one
seemed to make it for me. After that, they got too screwy with their parody,
and missed the mark, IMHO. Besides, the first was a parody of much more than
just silly monster movies, hence the great musical numbers like "Tomato Stomp",
and of course "The Love Theme From Attack Of the Killer tomatoes"
Attack Of The Killer Tomatoes"
Revenge Of the Killer Tomatoes
Killer tomatoes Strike Back
Killer Tomatoes go to France
But these are intentionally terrible and so really don't belong in this
discussion...
Pax
--Judex--
BogusMan
>In article <1993Sep22....@alchemy.chem.utoronto.ca>, Mark B. writes:
>|> You have neglected to include the detestable "Zardoz" in your list. You
>|> should also remove the two Conan movies (which were - IMHO - brilliant
>|> and don't belong in the SF category anyway).
>
>Add "Invasion of the Spiders" with William Shatner. Very Mistable.
>
>--JRP
That is "Kingdom Of The Spiders" with Bill Shatner. Also add "The Giant Spider
Invasion", featuring VW Bugs with added legs, and covered with black rugs,
as spiders. From the director of "Monster-A-Go-Go".
Pax
--Judex--
BogusMan
>
>In article <27qc51$4...@hpbs3591.boi.hp.com> mvi...@boi.hp.com (Mark Vieselmeyer) writes:
>>MarkB. wrote:
>>
>>: Stain,
>>
>>: You have neglected to include the detestable "Zardoz" in your list. You
>>: and don't belong in the SF category anyway).
>>
>
>Shurely you jest, Shirley. OCTOPUSSY was the best JB flick ever!
>
>
>>%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
>>% "Octopussy. Oh, Octopussy!" %
>>% --Louis Jordan %
>>%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
Zardoz is hardly a JB film, since Connery was only hired to play the role
after Burt Reynolds backed out. Hence the lack of toupee, and the resemblance
of Connery's character to Reynolds in "Deliverance" <also by Boorman>, not
to mention the fact that Zardoz has nothing to do with Bond anyway.
But Zardoz is hardly a science fiction film, anyway. It is more of a head film,
that rare breed of 70's films designed to provide interesting light shows
for "heads" to take drugs to.
Other classics in this sub-genre:
Head
Demon Seed
2001 <not a true head film, but a prototype for the "look"
there are many more. the genre is characteriuzed by scant, silly plotting,
bad or indifferent acting, and a real emphasis on the effects, which are
usually very bright, very colorful and feature a lot of "trails" and such.
this is of course, IMHO, only.
Pax
--Judex--
No Homework Man
Steven Miale <smi...@cs.indiana.edu> wrote:
>
>What else...
>- First Spaceship to Venus
>- The Day the Earth Froze (SAMPO!!!!!!!!!)
>
>Steve
Hey, The Day the Earth Froze wasn't sci-fi... at least, I hope not.
It was just really cheesy overdubbed Norwegian (Swedish?!) fantasy, with a
lot of Minnesotan in-jokes to boot.
Do you want to be Finnish? Sure, we all do!
SAMPO mean TASTE!
et cetera, et cetera...
--
spa...@titan.ucs.umass.edu - /\/ O /-/ O /\/\ E \/\/ O R |< /\/\ A /\/
+-------+
|||||=========| O O O | SAMPO -- ask for it by name.
+-------+
BogusMan
>
>In article <27qrtp...@marvin.is.wdi.disney.com> su...@fa.disney.com (Susie Lee (STAR)) writes:
>
>>Ummm - Did anyone mention, Message From Space..? Truly painful,
>>seriously painful. Long, long long long lasting pain.
>
>I must admit that I haven't seen this one. It has no redeeming
>values whatsoever? Not even Stain would enjoy it?
>
>
Well, I paid to see this one in a theatre, and remember the experience fondly,
if not the movie. It did star Sonny chiba, and featured some fun fight scenes,
and semi-nifty <if tottally whacked> shots of the "space ship" sailing through
space with full sails. <it looked like a clipper ship and was propelled by magic
if I remember correctly>.
I need to watch it again. I remember it being kinda enjoyable, but very silly,
very stupid, but thankfully, fairly short.
Pax
--Judex--
>
>
BogusMan
I liked parts of this one, but it was too long by about half. Nice ships though.
As for Mark, he has been showing up in a bit of stuff lately.
Notably "the Guyver", and an unbilled role as a cop in the first sequence of
"sleepwalkers".
Pax
--Judex--
BogusMan
Not to mention the fact that it was originally released in very bad 3-D.
It could be the first 3-D MST3K episode!!!!
Although I would rather see them take on something really bad in 3-D, like
"Treasure Of The Four Crowns", "Coming At Ya!", or "Metalstorm: the destruction
Of Jared Syn"!
Pax
--Judex--
BogusMan
>In article <CDrtC...@rahul.net> kpa...@rahul.net (Ken Papai) writes:
>
>>'Wizard of Mars' is one SF movie THAT REALLY SUCKS!!!
>>One of the all-time worst, almost as bad as 'The Black Hole' by Disney.
>>--
>>Ken Papai, Sunnyvale, Calif.
>>kpa...@rahul.net "Mars Observer: phone home!"
>
>Hey, hey, the Black Hole is not a bad movie, if you put it in its
>time frame. It had good special effects, a decent plot, the
>omnipresent likable robot and was far far better than most of the
>sleeper Disney movies.
>Granted, it could be Misted fine, but still...
>
>Marc
>mwas...@du.edu
>
>--
>"So you're choosing to run from your own people in a rackety old TARDIS?"
> D O C T O R W H O
> 30 Years
> "Why not? After all, that's how it all started!"
If we put it in it's own time frame, it only gets worse, what with the rip off
R2D2 robots, and the incredibly obvious science mistakes. what do you do when
an asteroid rips the top off your ship while in space? Run, of course, and
ignore the fact that all atmosphere, and anything not nailed down is being
yanked into space!
Black Hole is probably among the top 5 worst disney movies ever. Even Tron made
more sense!
Pax
--Judex--
BogusMan
>
>In article <27qfai$r...@pandora.sdsu.edu> masc...@ucssun1.sdsu.edu (Avoid normal situations.) writes:
>>MarkB. wrote:
>>
>>: Stain,
>>
>>: You have neglected to include the detestable "Zardoz" in your list.
>>
>>*hated*. _Zardoz_ IMHO is certainly no classic, but I think it has *some*
>>redeeming values, e.g. its utter weirdness. Who can forget "THE GUN IS
>>GOOD! THE PENIS IS EVIL!"
>
><SHUDDER> I had forgotten it until you mentioned it.
>
>
>>: You
>>: and don't belong in the SF category anyway).
>>
>>SF/*fantasy* Hall of Shame, and sword & sorcery flicks (like the Conan
>>films and all the wannabes they spawned) are definitely that.
>
>Doesn't appear in the header. Be more specific next time.
>
>
>> I saw Paul M. Sammon at the San Diego Comic Con a while back. He regaled his
>>audience with various behind-the-scenes stories, one of which involved the
>>infamous beheading of Thulsa Doom by Conan at the end.
>
>A classic scene. I was on the edge of my seat. Thumbs up.
>
>
>> Originally, when Doom got his craniectomy, a large snake crawled out of
>>his neck afterwards. However, the director, John Milius, cut it out of the
>>version that was eventually released. When asked why, he replied with
>>something like, "Oh, that's fantasy, I don't like that."
>> Evidently, John Milius hates the fantasy genre... and he had been assigned
>>to helm the movie version of one of fantasy literature's most famous stories.
>
>There are many examples of creators who despise their (successful) creations.
>Sometimes the creative process is bettered by a critical eye.
>
>
>>It *shows*, if you ask me. I don't remember all *that* much after eleven
>>years, but I *can* tell you that I wondered if the filmmakers had formulated
>>the following rules before filming: 1) All womenfolk must get naked at some
>>point. 2) All menfolk must die violent, gory deaths.
>
>As is the case with any of the Howard pulp novels. The filmakers were faithful
>to this ideal. They just camped it up a bit. IMHO - it worked well.
>
>
>> Sorry, Mark, and all you Conan fans out there, but _Barbarian_ really turned
>>my stomach.
>
>Sorry to hear it, Stain. The only movie that has ever induced me to vomit
>was the accursed "Dune".
>
>
>> I saw _Destroyer_ last January...not as much gratuitous gore, and a not-bad
>>Carlo Rambaldi beastie at the end, but IMHO boring as hell.
>
>You have no taste, sir.
>
>> As an aside, Mark, since you're evidently a Conan fan... according to
>>Mr. Sammon, Arnold Schwarzenegger is interested in getting another Conan
>>movie made. It's supposedly going to be about Conan falling into a time
>>portal of some kind and ending up in modern-day New York, and Arnie wants
>>to direct it himself.
>
>
>Mark B.
Having just watched the original directors cut of "Dune", I am amazed at how
faithful it remained to the book. I counted over twenty minutes at a time, of
dialog that came out of the book word for word. I know that the original
release cut was far worse, but check out the directors cut sometime, and get
an idea of what Lynch was trying to do. You'll finally understand why
Frank Herbert said that it was the best he could have hoped for, for a movie
adaptation, shortly before he died.
As for Conana The Barbarian, I enjoyed this film quite a bit, although Arnold's
acting was terrible. "Conan the Destroyer" was dull, hampered both by being
restricted to a PG-13, and by extreme scenery chewing from Ms. Grace Jones.
it is better than "Red Sonja", but not by much, imho.
Pax
--Judex--
BogusMan
>In article <27sq9u$c...@pandora.sdsu.edu> masc...@ucssun1.sdsu.edu (Avoid normal situations.) writes:
>>
>> You may be speaking too soon. The Big Man's quality control has gotten a
>>lot better in recent years, IMHO.
>>
>> Love & kisses,
>>
>> The Stainless Steel Moviegoer
>
>Why don't you sign your real name?
>--
>The opinions are mine..not my company's.
>Actually, everything is more complicated
>Beware of any endeavor requiring new clothes -H.D. Thoreau
>And, as digestive a good, not smelling portion of open legs. -Michele
Why do you care?
Pax
--Judex--
PS: I don' sign my real name because it takes too long to type. but it is
Joel Addison Schenkenberg. As for SSM, I know not his reasons, but I respect
his opinions, and we have corresponded for quite a while now. But who cares
what name someone goes by here? I see no difference between signing my name or
my chosen handle. they both refer to me.
BogusMan
>In article c...@pandora.sdsu.edu, masc...@ucssun1.sdsu.edu (Avoid normal situations.) writes:
>> I really liked _Dune_. I think it helped that I attempted to read the
>>book first...
>
>From what I have seen, most people who hate the film *are* those who have
>read the book first. The ones who didn't are merely confused (unless they're
>diehard Lynch fans, in which case they are confused but moderately happy :-).
>
>Personally, I'm on the side of those who think it's garbage (yes, I read the
>book long before the film came out. :-)
>
>---
>Markus Stumptner m...@vexpert.dbai.tuwien.ac.at
>University of Technology Vienna vexpert!m...@relay.eu.net
>Paniglg. 16, A-1040 Vienna, Austria ...mcsun!vexpert!mst
>
From the version I have, there is only one change between the book and the
movie and that is the weirding module. It is obviously done just to make the
whole thing more cinematic.
I think people are dissappointed because the movie doesn't match their ideas
about the characters, not because it isn't faithful to the book. Having just
read the book, and seen the movie AGAIN <must be about the 8th time for the
movie and the 15th or so for the book>, I find most of the hostility silly,
since the dialogue is almost word for word from the book, and the style does
its best to emulate that of the book as well.
Frank Herbert, who created Dune, said that it was the best he could have
hoped for, for a cinematic interpretation. who are you to say that you know
the world of Arrakis better than the man who created it.
Pax
--Judex--
Marc Y. Wasserman
>>>>: > The NeverEnding Story II: The Next Chapter
Believe it or not, I just saw on the alt.tv.muppets net that work
is beginning on The Never Ending Story III. I loved the first, and
they have nowhere to go but up from the putrid Chapter II, so maybe
this will be good.
>- The Day the Earth Froze (SAMPO!!!!!!!!!)
A sampo? What's that? :)
>Steve
Douglas Carroll
> cyp...@eskimo.com (Cindy Vanous) writes:
> >I suggest "Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone" for Worst SF Ever.
>
> Like Jaws 3, this movie was in 3-D.
>
> I can't believe I just admitted knowing that.
Yeah, well I saw it in the theatre. With the glasses. I saw Jaws 3-D in
the theatre as well. After those two woofers, I've given up on the third
dimension.
I can't believe I just admitted paying good money to see two 3-D flops in
the theatre. Ouch!
I gotta go.
carr...@sytex.com (Doug Carroll)
for a free copy of idiot wind magazine, send a SASE to: idiot wind;
p.o. box 87; occoquan, virginia 22125. Postage runs about 52 cents
a copy.
Joe Morris
>discussion...
TRUE
You know, the one thing that fascinated me about MANOS was that the
guy making it really thought he was making a good film. The whole
thing was so straight faced that I don't think he *could* have been
kidding. What did the other people in the production think?? Were
they all friends from his neighborhood or something?
"Ya know Sal, I wasn't even gonna help Frank with his film. The
story kind of creeped me out, but then I started thinking more
and more about it, and it seems like this must be the greatest
love story every told..."
<Sal interrupts> "You mean Torgo, right?"
"Well sure, Torgo, and, well everything. It hangs together perfectly.
And frankly, playing Manos's 3rd wife is the best role I've ever
even tried out for."
"This could be our Big Break (tm)."
NOTE: True Names were changed....
Martin Kuhn
I agree; Return of the Killer Tomatoes was *much* better than the original.
Really campy, and fun to watch. Lots of great bits-- that whole "product
placement" sequence had me ROTFL! Also, the whole idea of Igor the news-
anchorman wanna-be was great. Somehow, the original film was rather lacking
and just wasn't very funny at all. Sure, ROTKT was cheap, had so-so acting
and writing, but still, a nice fun film to watch, and notice "how everything
we set up in the first reel finally pans out in the end..... Yes,
everything." (paraphrased)
However, there *was* at least one more movie in this series, but I can't
remember the name; it was probably "The Killer Tomatoes Strike Back", but
maybe not. Really stupid; I could hardly sit through the whole thing. Perhaps
this is the film the original poster saw? Then again, why was this
thread posted to alt.flame?
--Marty
Mark Vieselmeyer
: Did you now that Jurrasic park got a 1 (out of 6) in our
: national newspaper ?? They though it was just crap !! Yet the whole world seems to
: like it..
The whole world is wrong. Jurrasic Park _is_ crap. And the special effects
are nothing special. They're just the same decade old stuff from the Star
Wars movies. People are just more impressed with animated dinosaurs than
with animated aliens, for some reason. It would have been better if they
had actually tried to show a velociraptor mauling someone (after all, it
was nothing more than an over done monster movie - if the director had
recognized that, it could have been a fun flick).
--
mark
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
^ Do not comment on another person's mannerisms. Be non- ^
^ judgemental of others, whether it is their looks, speech,^
^ customs, or attitudes unless they are your students or ^
^ your children. --Ni, Hua Ching ^
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Paal Ditlefsen Ekran
|> Paal Ditlefsen Ekran (paa...@stud.cs.uit.no) wrote:
|>
|> : Did you now that Jurrasic park got a 1 (out of 6) in our
|> : national newspaper ?? They though it was just crap !! Yet the whole world seems to
|> : like it..
|>
|> The whole world is wrong. Jurrasic Park _is_ crap. And the special effects
|> are nothing special. They're just the same decade old stuff from the Star
|> Wars movies. People are just more impressed with animated dinosaurs than
|> with animated aliens, for some reason. It would have been better if they
|> had actually tried to show a velociraptor mauling someone (after all, it
|> was nothing more than an over done monster movie - if the director had
|> recognized that, it could have been a fun flick).
Ok, the acting was poor, the story was not much worth, still the effects where
good (except for the effects in the start, when they first saw the dinos). Can you
explain why everyone except you and the VG writer did like the movie ??
Mark Vieselmeyer
: >In article <27qc51$4...@hpbs3591.boi.hp.com> mvi...@boi.hp.com (Mark Vieselmeyer) writes:
: >>Heretic. Zardoz was the best James Bond flick ever made.
: Zardoz is hardly a JB film, since Connery was only hired to play the role
: after Burt Reynolds backed out. Hence the lack of toupee, and the resemblance
: of Connery's character to Reynolds in "Deliverance" <also by Boorman>, not
: to mention the fact that Zardoz has nothing to do with Bond anyway.
Thank you for clearing that up. I was sooo confused.
--
mark
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@ Do not be self-important and have excessive pride. Think @
@ of otherws first and yourself second. -Ni, Hua Ching @
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Per Harald Myrvang
|>
|> : Did you now that Jurrasic park got a 1 (out of 6) in our
|> : national newspaper ?? They though it was just crap !! Yet the whole world seems to
|> : like it..
|>
|> The whole world is wrong. Jurrasic Park _is_ crap. And the special effects
|> are nothing special. They're just the same decade old stuff from the Star
|> Wars movies. People are just more impressed with animated dinosaurs than
|> with animated aliens, for some reason. It would have been better if they
|> had actually tried to show a velociraptor mauling someone (after all, it
|> was nothing more than an over done monster movie - if the director had
|> recognized that, it could have been a fun flick).
|>
|> --
|> mark
Mark (which in our language means Worm, shall I call you worm? Shall I?), the whole bloody
thing that made Jerkatic Park viewable was the fact that they used a doll ONLY ONCE, and that
was the sick triceraptos! ALL the other overgrown lizards were computer animated. And THAT'S
PRETTY COOL. Sure, the storry was big-hungry-things-wants-your-heart-for-a-snack-now-you-better-
run-rather-quickly-oops-that-was-close, but so what? Spieldberg earns a lot of money on it, and
that's all he cares about, yes?
Yours Sincerely,
Per Harald Myrvang
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< FLAME SIG >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
<< Per Harald Myrvang | A500+/A590/HP48GX This space for rent >>
<< pe...@stud.cs.uit.no | FABRICATIM DIEM, PVNC! >>
<< Disclaimer: I do NOT speak for the University, and vica versa.... >>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Ben Scott
>
> What was that film that had a bunch of rolarskating teens in
>the post apocalypse looking for water. Solarbabies? Certainly right
>up there is MSTability.
>--
As a point of trivia, I was working in market research at the time this
movie came out (you know, standing in malls with a clipboard...), and one of
the movies we did was Solarbabies. We were actually doing a survey on which
title was better - Solarbabies or Solarforce! Now, "Solarforce" is still
pretty hokey but at least doesn't sound like a movie about tanned toddlers.
I was amazed they chose that name.
We also got to see commercials for Star Trek IV (or V?) many months before
release, and I got to eat Sara Lee snack foods that never made it to market,
so the job was not without its compensations...
. <<<<Infinite K>>>>
w
--
|Ben Scott, professional goof-off and consultant at The Raster Image, Denver.|
|Internet: bsc...@nyx.cs.du.edu, or call the Arvada 68K BBS at (303)424-6208.|
|"Don't tug on that - you never know what ][ The Raster Image IS responsible |
|it might be attached to." Buckaroo Banzai][for everything I say! |Amiga4000!|
Mark Vieselmeyer
: In article <2872h0$4...@hpbs3591.boi.hp.com>, mvi...@boi.hp.com (Mark Vieselmeyer) writes:
: |> The whole world is wrong. Jurrasic Park _is_ crap. And the special effects
: |> are nothing special. They're just the same decade old stuff from the Star
: |> Wars movies. People are just more impressed with animated dinosaurs than
: |> with animated aliens, for some reason. It would have been better if they
: |> had actually tried to show a velociraptor mauling someone (after all, it
: |> was nothing more than an over done monster movie - if the director had
: |> recognized that, it could have been a fun flick).
: |>
: |> --
: |> mark
: Mark (which in our language means Worm, shall I call you worm? Shall I?), the whole bloody
Actually, my name refers to the god of war. If you want to refer to me as
such, I have no objections.
: thing that made Jerkatic Park viewable was the fact that they used a doll ONLY ONCE, and that
: was the sick triceraptos!
Fool! The triceratops was the only believable dinosaur in the whole damn
movie.
: ALL the other overgrown lizards were computer animated. And THAT'S
: PRETTY COOL.
Wonderful. And I suppose they did it all on Amigas.
: Sure, the storry was big-hungry-things-wants-your-heart-for-a-snack-now-you-better-
: run-rather-quickly-oops-that-was-close, but so what? Spieldberg earns a lot of money on it, and
: that's all he cares about, yes?
True, but a good interactive mauling scene would have proven whether the
big money effects were anything more than slightly improved claymation.
The part where the tyranosaur does lunch with the lawyer is no better than
a hundred other such scenes in other movies.
--
mark
/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
/ Do not be critical of others. You would do better to /
/ apply the criticism to yourself. --Ni, Hua Ching /
/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Mark Meyer
> The whole world is wrong. Jurrasic Park _is_ crap.
Oh, bite me. It's fun!
--
Mark Meyer | mme...@dseg.ti.com |
Texas Instruments, Inc., Plano TX +--------------------+
Every day, Jerry Junkins is grateful that I don't speak for TI.
"WESTWORLD: Where nothing can go worng."
Greg Gershowitz
Forbidden Planet "Beware the id's that march."
First Men in the Moon "That helmet has holes in it!"
-Greg G
--
"No matter who you are, no matter what you look like, deep down in
the gunny sack of your soul, in the top drawer, in the back, on the
bottom, we all have a pair of pants with a pocket full of kryptonite."
"When God belches, it sounds OK" - Spin Doctors, Jones Beach, 7/9/93
Jon Drukman
>faithful it remained to the book. I counted over twenty minutes at a time, of
>dialog that came out of the book word for word. I know that the original
>release cut was far worse, but check out the directors cut sometime, and get
>an idea of what Lynch was trying to do.
er, the director's cut IS the original theatrical release. the
extended version that they recently showed on the Sci-Fi Channel was
apparently disowned by David Lynch... notice that it says "Directed by
Alan Smithee"... that's the "generic director pseudonym" applied to
films that the real director's don't want to be associated with...
Jon Drukman jdrukman%dls...@oracle.com
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This calls for a very special blend of psychology and extreme violence.
Randy C. Cosby
> In article <1993Sep25....@news.cs.indiana.edu>,
> Steven Miale <smi...@cs.indiana.edu> wrote:
> >- First Spaceship to Venus
> >- The Day the Earth Froze (SAMPO!!!!!!!!!)
> >
> lot of Minnesotan in-jokes to boot.
>
> Do you want to be Finnish? Sure, we all do!
> SAMPO mean TASTE!
Shouldn't we be in
alt.mst3k
dicussing these two???
The worst S.F. movie....
gotta be
And I have to vote twice..
"Xtro" and "Xtro II"
Or ANY other Sci-fi with Jan Michael Vincent in it.
COz
Randy C. Cosby
> In article <2872h0$4...@hpbs3591.boi.hp.com> mvi...@boi.hp.com (Mark Vieselmeyer) writes:
> > The whole world is wrong. Jurrasic Park _is_ crap.
>
> Oh, bite me. It's fun!
>
> --
> Mark Meyer | mme...@dseg.ti.com |
I agree with Mark...
My wife screamed very loudly at least twice...
I actually jumped a bit...
But y'all know what Letterman says...
"Mechanical Lizards...all this fuss over
Mechanical Lizards"
He does have a point.
COz
Mark Vieselmeyer
: In article <MMEYER.93S...@m2.rts.dseg.ti.com>, mme...@m2.rts.dseg.ti.com (Mark Meyer) writes:
: > In article <2872h0$4...@hpbs3591.boi.hp.com> mvi...@boi.hp.com (Mark Vieselmeyer) writes:
: > > The whole world is wrong. Jurrasic Park _is_ crap.
: >
: > Oh, bite me. It's fun!
: >
: > --
: > Mark Meyer | mme...@dseg.ti.com |
: I agree with Mark...
Are you trying to avoid a controversy here?
--
mark
****************************************************************
* Do not be self-opinionated. Be humble and flexible, maintain*
* reserve when expressing opinions. No idea is absolute, and *
* everything changes. --Ni, Hua Ching *
****************************************************************
Jeremy Dodd
>The whole world is wrong. Jurrasic Park _is_ crap. And the special effects
>are nothing special. They're just the same decade old stuff from the Star
>Wars movies. People are just more impressed with animated dinosaurs than
>with animated aliens, for some reason. It would have been better if they
What the hell version of Star Wars did you see? There were no animated aliens
in any Star Wars flick other than traditional puppet-animatronics (I dunno
the tech. term), whereas the JP dinos were all computer animation.. If that's
"nothing special" to you, then I'd be interested in seeing what you think is
"something special" ("Dude.. Tron and Last Starfighter, man.. Those were some
graphics, man..")
But other than that, you're right.. Jurassic Park was crap..
--
There is a theory which states that if the true nature of the universe is ever
discovered, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more
bizarrely inexplicable. There is a second theory which states that *THIS HAS
ALREADY HAPPENED*--HGTTG ubi...@mcl.mcl.ucsb.edu
ober...@vax.sonoma.edu
> Ummm - Did anyone mention, Message From Space..? Truly painful,
> seriously painful. Long, long long long lasting pain.
>
> if what the psychiatrist of the world say is true, maybe it was so painful
> I blocked out the whole experience.
I vote for my favorite, baddie of all time(WHY they haven't done it,
considering the potential for verbal slice-n-dice(which they do so well) is
beyond me...)
Metalstorm
Gotta be in the top ten worst of all time, along with that movie where they had
to kill "MegaWeapon"(with the suckiest computer)
(wasteland warrior! yes, that's it!)
THAT WAS THE WORST, okay.. TIED with Metalstorm.
So, what do you think, sirs?
:)
Jan Ingvoldstad
Of course, we could add the *great* (giggle) movie AIRWOLF. Well, it wasn't
that bad - possibly the best of Vincent's roles (if one can consider any of
them to be good in any sense).
--
........
: :.
: Jan :.
:.....:.
```````
JB 007 - Go home! (You're such a bore &:->)
Per Harald Myrvang
[ Gibberish deleted ]
|>
|> : thing that made Jerkatic Park viewable was the fact that they used a doll ONLY ONCE, and that
|> : was the sick triceraptos!
|>
|> Fool! The triceratops was the only believable dinosaur in the whole damn
|> movie.
I agree. But what I said was that this was the only *REAL* thing, which in the case of
"living" dinosaurs on movies definitly results in using dolls! Jerk!
|>
|> : ALL the other overgrown lizards were computer animated. And THAT'S
|> : PRETTY COOL.
|>
|> Wonderful. And I suppose they did it all on Amigas.
No, I believe they used SGI machines. Somebody from Industrial Light & Magic confirm this?
|>
|> : Sure, the storry was big-hungry-things-wants-your-heart-for-a-snack-now-you-better-
|> : run-rather-quickly-oops-that-was-close, but so what? Spieldberg earns a lot of money on it, and
|> : that's all he cares about, yes?
|>
|> True, but a good interactive mauling scene would have proven whether the
|> big money effects were anything more than slightly improved claymation.
|> The part where the tyranosaur does lunch with the lawyer is no better than
|> a hundred other such scenes in other movies.
Unbelievable! We agree on two things in the same posting! There must be an error somewhere.
Now, if they had indeed included a gory veliociraptor-eats-human scene, that would have
raised the coolness-factor of the movie by at least 10 points.
Yours,
Mark Vieselmeyer
: What the hell version of Star Wars did you see? There were no animated aliens
: in any Star Wars flick other than traditional puppet-animatronics (I dunno
: the tech. term), whereas the JP dinos were all computer animation.. If that's
: "nothing special" to you, then I'd be interested in seeing what you think is
: "something special" ("Dude.. Tron and Last Starfighter, man.. Those were some
: graphics, man..")
My mistake. It is indeed impressive that they could so realistically
simulate claymation effects using only computers.
--
mark
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@ Do not ask things of people unreasonably. Keep your @
@ requests only to what is necessary. -Ni, Hua Ching @
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Stephen J. Okay
>>May I suggest 'Slipstream' with Mark 'where did my career go' Hamil
>
>EXCELLENT movie! I'm afraid there's not much the bots could do with this. I
>mean, yes, you can really MST _any_ movie, whether or not it's bad, but
>Slipstream had too much dialogue and not enough quiet bits for proper MSTing.
"Slipstream" suffers from the same problem that most Australian SF does.
Neat plots that really only have enough meat in them for about 20-30 minutes
but are dragged out to feature-length. They are probably among the more original
of film makers out there, at least in comparison to the usual off-Multiplex
pap that US SF writers put out...
The Quiet Earth is another example of a good movie that kind of wanders a
bit.
---Steve
--
------------
The Jetdillo Project:2000 lbs of steel,20,000 lbs. of thrust. 1 pair of very
dark shades.The world's first fully cybernetic, SSTO-capable armadillo. Coming
soon from Armadillo Labs. The Dasypian Future begins tommorrow...
Michael P Urban
>Jeremy Dodd (ubi...@mcl.ucsb.edu) wrote:
>: in any Star Wars flick other than traditional puppet-animatronics (I dunno
>: the tech. term), whereas the JP dinos were all computer animation.. If that's
>My mistake. It is indeed impressive that they could so realistically
>simulate claymation effects using only computers.
It is remarkable that, with all the `Making of ...' books and TV
specials around, and all the information that is available in
magazines, newsgroups, conventions, and so on, that people continue to
spout rubbish like this at one another. It reminds me of the
Religious Right guy on the talk show who flamed about how Loose Morals
caused the fall of the Roman Empire, only to be rebuffed by another
guest, a prostitute, who said, ``Don't be ridiculous; everyone _knows_
the Roman Empire fell because they used lead pipes.''
Star Wars: A New Hope (1977) used no computer animation at all; the
stuff that looked like computer graphics (like the Death Star
trench-run `training film') was conventional animation simulating
computer graphics. The aliens, of course, were various varieties of
servo-equipped mechanicals, puppets, and costumed extras, depending on
the shot and alien. The `chessboard' was done with stop-action
animation. THIS IS IMPORTANT! No filmmakers will, given a choice,
put all their visual eggs in one proverbial basket. If Yoda needs to
walk, one kind of puppet is needed. If a close-up of his face needs
to show visible expressions, a second kind is needed, and in a long
shot, an actor in a costume might well be suitable. The _art_ of such
effects is making it all blend together seamlessly (the near-invisible
hand of the film editor is at work here as well).
By the time Return of the Jedi (1983, right?) rolled around, computer
graphics had advanced considerably, and the film had a considerably
updated `Deathstar training' effect using computer graphics, as if to
show the audience that `now we can do this _right_'.
In Jurassic Park, computer animation was used for the full-figure
shots involving the running T.Rex and that flock of whatsitcalleds
fleeing a predator in the open field. The computer animation is
smoother and more fluid (and, I suspect, less time- and
labor-intensive) than any corresponding stop-motion model work would
be. In most other shots, various forms of mechanical figures
(`puppets', if you wish) were used, although the detail of these
mechanicals is unprecedented (for example, the contracting pupil in
the T.Rex). In some shots, the Velociraptors were actually human
stuntfolk in costumes (source: recent radio interview with authors of
the Making of Jurassic Park book). Of course, they did not need to do
conventional animation to simulate computer screens :-) (but note the
small gaffe of using an obvious QuickTime movie to simulate a realtime
vidphone conversation on a Mac).
The effects on Jurassic Park were superb, and definitely advanced the
state of the art. A pity that they were not in the service of a
better film.
Finally, a lesser nitpick in the interest of detail: Claymation(r) is
a Trademark belonging to Will Vinton, the animator who created such
wonderful shorts as Closed Mondays and interesting commercials
involving dancing raisins, as well as the Nome King and his minions in
Return to Oz. Most familiar stop-motion animation (such as the
chessboard in Star Wars, the Imperial Walkers in Empire, or damn near
anything from Ray Harryhausen) or `go-motion' work (as in
Dragonslayer) involves toys of more rigid construction. Vinton and
other animators who use clay are able to achieve more interesting
facial effects and `morph'-like transitions in that medium. But `clay
animation' is not equal to `Claymation'; the latter term applies to
Vinton's work alone.
Mike Urban
Randy C. Cosby
> Randy C. Cosby (rco...@bcm.tmc.edu) wrote:
> : In article <MMEYER.93S...@m2.rts.dseg.ti.com>, mme...@m2.rts.dseg.ti.com (Mark Meyer) writes:
> : > > The whole world is wrong. Jurrasic Park _is_ crap.
> : > Oh, bite me. It's fun!
> : > --
> : > Mark Meyer | mme...@dseg.ti.com |
>
> : I agree with Mark...
>
> Are you trying to avoid a controversy here?
>
Just commenting.
I go for entertainment, and if I am amazed at FX
so much the better.
But, if I forget the FX, and get into the plot, as I did
with JP... It's a winner!
COz
P.S. I thrive on controversy... I am having fun on misc.kids
right now..... my mail box is filling up with nasty letters...
Manuel A. Cisneros
>
>Mark (which in our language means Worm, shall I call you worm? Shall I?), the whole bloody
>thing that made Jerkatic Park viewable was the fact that they used a doll ONLY ONCE, and that
>was the sick triceraptos! ALL the other overgrown lizards were computer animated. And THAT'S
>PRETTY COOL. Sure, the storry was big-hungry-things-wants-your-heart-for-a-snack-now-you-better-
Actually, not. Pick up the latest issue of Cinefex. It seems that the ratio
of stop-action/go-action/GFX/person-in-dino-suit was something like
1/4/4/1. Yes, there are scenes shot with someone in a rubber suite, there
was actually a full-size T-rex built that basically was a modified
simulator ride (ala Star Tours at Disneyland) and there was a lot of
GFX, more than origianlly planned admitedly, but it was far from
being the pre-dominant FX.
Manuel.
?????
the newest issue of Wired. It has a whole article on new motion picture
special effects, mostly from JP.
--
********************************************************************
* Andrew P Barilla * bo...@virginia.edu * *
********************************************************************
* "..We might think of life in cyberspace as shaping exactly like *
Latmax
>>May I suggest 'Slipstream' with Mark 'where did my career go' Hamil
>EXCELLENT movie! I'm afraid there's not much the bots could do with this. I
>mean, yes, you can really MST _any_ movie, whether or not it's bad, but
>Slipstream had too much dialogue and not enough quiet bits for proper MSTing.
I tried to see this movie once. When I got back from the video
store I found that I had a different Slipstream. It was about a 60's DJ.
The cover promised "bizarre events, characters" "apocalyptic ending" etc.
so I watched it anyway. The bizarre character was the man who came to fix
the power lines that came down. This was a while ago, but I don't remember
the man being anything but ordinary.
The apocalyptic ending was when the DJ jumped out of a prison window
and broke his leg. WHOA, FREAK OUT!!!!
I never saw the real thing.
- Latmax
--
-----------------------------------------------------------------
\ "Who...wants some?" "You want a little?" "You want some?" /
/ Ash (Bruce Campbell) Evil Dead III : Army of Darkness \
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Dr. Irony
>In article <1993Sep25....@news.cs.indiana.edu>,
>Steven Miale <smi...@cs.indiana.edu> wrote:
>>
>>What else...
>>- First Spaceship to Venus
>>- The Day the Earth Froze (SAMPO!!!!!!!!!)
>>
>>Steve
> Hey, The Day the Earth Froze wasn't sci-fi... at least, I hope not.
>It was just really cheesy overdubbed Norwegian (Swedish?!) fantasy, with a
>lot of Minnesotan in-jokes to boot.
>Do you want to be Finnish? Sure, we all do!
>SAMPO mean TASTE!
Help me, Rocky, I'm not fire!
Chuck (SAMPO, SAMPO, SAMPO)
--
Chuck Machala | Same as it ever was.
Semiconductor Process and Design Center| (Talking Heads)
Texas Instruments, Dallas, Tx. | Disclaimer: I'm just me.
Mark Pundurs
>It reminds me of the
>Religious Right guy on the talk show who flamed about how Loose Morals
>caused the fall of the Roman Empire, only to be rebuffed by another
>guest, a prostitute, who said, ``Don't be ridiculous; everyone _knows_
>the Roman Empire fell because they used lead pipes.''
Entertaining speculation -- not established fact.
--
Mark Pundurs ma...@wri.com
any resemblance between my opinions and those
of Wolfram Research, Inc. is purely coincidental
Per Harald Myrvang
Oh, dear. I seem to have been misinformed...
Yours sincerely,