Google Groups no longer supports new Usenet posts or subscriptions. Historical content remains viewable.

MiSTed: The Tale of Grumpy Weasel, Chapter 12 [ 1 / 1 ]

Skip to first unread message

Joseph Nebus

Feb 9, 2023, 7:00:27 PM2/9/23

TOM: Chapter Two, Part Ten. The Prequel.


CROW: And the weasel in my hand is the four of diamonds, is it not?

> Grumpy Weasel wouldn't stop long with his cousin,
> Peter Mink,

JOEL: No? I thought they were both pretty long?

> and old Mr. Crow and all the rest.

TOM: o/` Here on Gilligan's Rabbit! o/`

> He was in a hurry to overtake Jimmy Rabbit.

CROW: In hour 182 of the race.

> And after
> quarreling fiercely with the whole company---

TOM: The acting company, over who's getting the lead in You're A Good Mink, Charlie Brown.

> except his
> cousin---he sprang up with a wicked glitter in his black eyes

JOEL: Oh, he's never going to get that glitter out of his eyes now.

> and left without another word.

CROW: What are we going to do with this pile of words he left us?
TOM: Say them?

> "That fixed him," said Mr. Crow knowingly.

CROW: Ah, he's broke again!

> "What did?" Peter Mink demanded.
> "That rest!" Mr. Crow replied.

TOM: Six quarter notes of silence going into the bridge? Brilliant suspension! It'll be the hit of Tin Pan Alley once they invent Tin Pan Alley!

> "It gave Jimmy Rabbit
> just time enough to go where he's going."

CROW: Well, when he gets there tell him to come back and explain it to us.

> And that was all he
> would say.

JOEL: What, *now* Mr Crow figures silence is a virtue?

> Not until Grumpy Weasel returned some time later did
> any one know what Mr. Crow meant.

TOM: Oh, Jimmy found the Save Spot.

> Grumpy Weasel was in a terrible temper when he came
> slowly back.

CROW: So ... did he win? Lose? Tie?

> Everybody could tell, without asking, that the
> race was ended.

JOEL: Well, Jimmy didn't eat Grumpy, we can rule *that* out.

> "Where did you catch him?" Peter Mink asked his
> cousin.

TOM: Ah, he grabbed a bus, the coward.

> Grumpy Weasel said in a few ill-chosen words

JOEL: [ As Grumpy ] 'Florid apostasy walks through clutch Melpomene! That's a *terrible* collection of words!'

> that he
> hadn't caught Jimmy Rabbit at all,

CROW: Maybe you could return the unused portion for a full refund?

> and that somebody had
> played a trick on him.

TOM: A trick? From a rabbit? There's nothing in folklore to justify *that*!

> He looked directly at Mr. Crow as he
> spoke.

CROW: [ Leaning forward, as though kissing Grumpy. ] Mmmmmwah!

> "It wasn't Johnny Green, was it?"

JOEL: It was his cousin from Rome, Giuseppi Verdi.

> Mr. Crow inquired
> solemnly as he moved carefully to a higher limb.

TOM: It's Johnny Green's shoulder! Get out of there!

> Grumpy Weasel could tell, then, without a doubt,

JOEL: Oh, take a doubt, we have so *many* this time of year.

> that
> it was Mr. Crow that had made him lose the race.

TOM: But he won the moral victory!

> Grumpy had
> followed hot on Jimmy Rabbit's tracks.

CROW: Hot! (Sssssssss) Weasel!

> And to his surprise
> they led straight toward the farm buildings.

JOEL: They keep on building the farm but it's never *built*.

> But Grumpy kept
> on and never stopped until he reached the farmyard fence

TOM: [ As a Fence ] 'Wanna buy a hot weasel?'

> where he crouched and watched Jimmy disappear---of all
> places!

JOEL: Right into a top hat!
TOM: [ As a scolding sort of cry ] Liddsville!

> ---right in the woodshed, where Johnny Green was
> picking up an armful of wood.

CROW: Fatty Raccoon, now Jimmy Rabbit, you figure Johnny Green's tired of being roped into all these animal dramas any?

> Of course Grumpy Weasel wouldn't think of entering
> such a dangerous place.

TOM: Oh, c'mon, wood is just as afraid of you as you are of it!

> And when he heard a shout and saw
> Johnny Green come out with Jimmy Rabbit in his arms

TOM: Smooching.

> he knew
> that Jimmy Rabbit had won the race, even if he had lost his
> freedom.

JOEL: [ Pats CROW's shoulder. ]

> "It was that old black rascal, Mr. Crow,

CROW: That's just how I look in silhouette.

> that put
> that notion into Jimmy Rabbit's head," Grumpy said savagely

JOEL: Now wait, how do you know it's not Jimmy's 'Brother'?
TOM: Yes, his ... 'Brother'.

> to himself as he turned and made for the woods. "They were
> talking together a little while ago."

CROW: Well, did I give *you* any good ideas?

> And all the way back to the stone wall he kept
> thinking what he would do to Mr. Crow if he could ever get
> hold of him.

TOM: Challenging him to a race is out ... what if you made Mr Crow race Jimmy Rabbit?

> So you can see that he must have looked very
> dangerous when he reached his hunting ground;

JOEL: You go and look, I'm a-scared to.

> and you can
> understand why Mr. Crow took pains to change his seat.

CROW: [ Getting up, bumping into JOEL but not going farther ] 'Scuse me, pardon me, coming through, one way, scuse me, pardon me ... '

> "I may have lost the race---through a trick," Grumpy
> hissed as he glared at Mr. Crow.

TOM: [ As Dan Backslide ] A runabout? I'll steal it! No one will ever know!

> "But one thing is certain:

JOEL: You don't tug on Superman's cape.

> That young Jimmy Rabbit will trouble us no more. He's Johnny
> Green's prisoner."

CROW: And Johnny Green wants ... information!

> "Nonsense!" cried Mr. Crow. "He'll escape some fine
> day."

TOM: [ As Grumpy ] 'It's supposed to rain all next week!'

> "Nonsense! He won't!" Grumpy Weasel disputed.

CROW: 'Disputed'.

> And he
> never begged Mr. Crow's pardon.

TOM: That makes two of us.
CROW: Hey!

> And neither did Peter Mink
> apologize to the old gentleman, as Mr. Crow had said he
> would.

JOEL: Mr Crow's a gentleman?
CROW: We are all fine creatures!

> So in one way Mr. Crow was wrong. But in another way
> he was right.

TOM: And in being right, isn't that the real wrong?

> For it wasn't a week before Jimmy Rabbit
> appeared in the woods again, as spry as ever.

CROW: It may have been three days, it may have been ten times ten thousand years, all we know is it was not a week.

[ End of Chapter 12 ] --
Joseph Nebus
Math Blog:
Humor Blog:
0 new messages