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[MSTing] Blood and Metal (Part 4b of 9)

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Shay_...@letterbox.com

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May 16, 1998, 3:00:00 AM5/16/98
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< - - - - - - - - - - Designed for a 78-letter line size - - - - - - - - - - >
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"Blood and Metal", by David Gonterman
MSTing by Shay Caron (Shay_...@letterbox.com)
Part 4b of 9

> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------

CROW: Um...
MIKE: OK...
TOM: Eh?

>
> Scratch, Grounder, and Coconuts went to pieces in a lightning bolt half
> a meter wide coming from that rifle. A burst of oil splattered the air in a
> 5-meter cubic area.

CROW: So Davey used a horizontal line to signify that, what, three seconds had
passed?
TOM: Something like that.

> The crowd goes wild!

ALL: [ apathetic ] Yaaay.

> "Crockett Wins!!!! FATALITY!!!"

TOM: Davey Crockett's Fatalities: The Crummy Fanfic.
CROW: The Carnivorous Bunny Rabbit.
MIKE: The Balloon Animals of Doom.
TOM: The Paper Cut.
CROW: The Sissy Slap.
MIKE: And That Thing That He Does That Hurts.

> "Crockett!!!
> Crockett!!! Crockett!!!--"

CROW: I'm gonna hurl.

> "HOLD IT!!!" The crowd goes silent.

MIKE: [ Davey ] I lost my contact lens!

> "I missed one." Davey points
> upward.

TOM: [ splat ]
MIKE: [ Davey ] Aah, my eye!

> "Whiffer!"

MIKE, CROW: Wizzer.

> Packbell managed to leap to safety at the last nano-second.
> "Man," Davey says through gritted teeth. "This one's good."

TOM: Happy Days!
MIKE, CROW: Boooo!

> "As you are, Crockett!" Packbell fans his smoking rear end. "I
> finally found a rebel worthy of my talent.

CROW: He's a tennis player?
TOM: A circus clown?
MIKE: Ooh, I know! He owns a mental home!

> We will meet again. . . <begins
> to sing>

MIKE: [ singing ] I'm giving you everything, all that joy can bring, this I
swear...
TOM: [ singing ] Any time I need to see your face I just close my eyes, and I
am taken to a place where your crystal mind and magenta feelings take up
shelter in the base of my spine, sweet like a chic-a-cherry-cola...
CROW: [ singing ] MMMBop, dingy-dingy-dingy-dong, MMMBop, ooby-dooby-dibby-
dabba...

> . . . Davey, Davey Crockett, King of the

ALL: CRAP!!!

> Cyber Frontier. . . "
> Packbell disappears from sight as Lutherain lands on Davey's shoulder.

TOM: And picks him up to feed to his children back at the nest.
MIKE: That's eagles.

> *The one thing about that one, his ruthlessness knows no bounds. Don't
> worry, you'll get another chance*

CROW: *Yikes*! He's screaming now!
MIKE: No, those are the new delimiters for telepathy.

> *I'm counting on it, Luth.* Davey acknowledges the crowd.
> "Da Winner, and New Champeen--Davey 'The Cyberfox' Crockett!!!" Sonic
> gives him a high-five.

TOM: Doesn't he only have four fingers?
CROW: Actually, Sonic and Tails have five fingers, but everyone else has four.
TOM: Oh. Thanks for the info, fanboy.
CROW: Oh, well, that's quite all--HEY!!

>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------

TOM: That was the longest page so far.
CROW: Maybe the next one will be smaller.

> Page 10
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------

MIKE: Er, a big fat hen.

>
> Snivley saw the whole battle from his unbelievably large chair

BOTS: How big was it?!
MIKE: Unbelievably big!

> in the
> Robotroplis

MIKE: Well, back to this again.

> control room, including the onrushing lightning bolt that was

TOM: Rayden's Fatality.

> the last thing Scratch, Grounder, and Coconuts saw.

CROW: Breezy?
MIKE, TOM: Huh?
CROW: Never mind.

> The monitors they used
> to occupy are just white noise now.

CROW: I think I have one of their CDs.

> "Good Riddance," Snively said, shutting them off.

TOM: I'll go along with that.

> Then he turns to a

CROW: Chicken, I tell you! A giant *chicken*!!

> panel with a variety of levers and buttons labeled "Roboticizer Override."
> He strums his fingers on it for a while.

MIKE: [ whistles Turkey in the Straw ]

> "What am I going to do with you, Mr. Crockett?"

MIKE: Decapitation is always nice.

>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------

BOTS: [ Wayne & Garth ] Scene change, scene change, party time, excellent! Woo
woo!!

>
> Packbell took out whatever was the garbage man--I think it was a bear-

TOM: Geez, the author's not even TRYING anymore!

> with a head shot

CROW: [ photographer ] That's great! Work with me, baby! Now a head shot...

> and rummaged through the trash collectibles, throwing out
> oil-soaked limbs of metal until he got to three CPU cards,

MIKE: He misspelled M:TG.
TOM: I counter.

> one for each of
> the three bots destroyed by Davey's super power shot.

MIKE, CROW: Red Dragon Thunderzord Power! Hee hee...

> The three chips were
> barely functional, with a red LCD light flashing on and off showing that it

CROW: Needs a coffee refill.

> still has a glimmer of life back in it.

TOM: Yeah, way back there, in the-- yeah, right there, see that shiny dot?
That's a glimmer of life. Ri-i-ight.

> "What am I going to do with you, Mr. Crockett?"

MIKE: Then again, a nice powerful poison would really do the trick.

>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------

BOTS: [ Wayne & Garth ] Scene change, scene change, party time, excellent! Woo
woo!!

>
> When Davey gave Sonia the gift package of perfume, the girl hedgehog
> thought that it was the nicest thing that ever happened to her.

MIKE: [ Sonia/Suni ] Except for that great dream I had about Packbell blasting
Davey with a black laser.

> But then
> she got close and smelled

ALL: Umm...

> android stench.

TOM: From Chanel.

> She growled in rage, "What am I
> going to do with you, Mr. Crockett?"

MIKE: Of course, you just can't beat the power of an AK-47.
CROW: Is this repetition supposed to be funny?

> "Yes, Honey," Davey said with a fake whine. "I had to fight with that
> son of a

MIKE: [ covers Crow's eyes and Tom's... uh... dome ]
TOM: Hey!
CROW: What?

> bot,

MIKE: Oh. Never mind. [ He moves his hands. ]

> but I won, I'll tell you."

TOM: Ah gar-on-tee!

> "Dammit!" She pounds on Davey's roboticized part of his breast.

BOTS: Ewww!
CROW: He's got a robot breast?!

> "Dammit-Dammit-Dammit!!! Why, you psycho fox?! He could have killed you!!
> Why?!?"

CROW: [ Sonia/Suni ] Why did you have to survive?!

> "He didn't kill me, Suni, as you can see.

MIKE: [ Sonia/Suni ] I know! <sob> Why not?!

> Packbell must've burned you
> badly, didn't he?"
> "You don't know the half of it," Sonia collapses in tears into that
> chest. Her mind races back.

ALL: Go, Mind Racer, go, Mind Racer, go, Mind Racer, go!

>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------

BOTS: [ Wayne & Garth ] Scene change, scene change, party time, excellent! Woo
woo!!

>
> Brent.

TOM: Brent Stonebutt.
MIKE: Brent Stinkchest.
CROW: Brent Rockgroin.

>
> Brent and me,

CROW: What?
TOM: Huh?
MIKE: Oh, remember how Packbell was narrating a while ago? Now I think Sonia's
talking.
TOM: Thinking.
CROW: [ at the same time as Tom ] Suni.
MIKE: Whatever.

> hiking to

MIKE: Taco Bell!

> Knothole.

MIKE: That was my second guess.

>
> Brent and I being ambushed by Packbell.

TOM: Pow! To the moon, Sonia!
CROW: Suni.
TOM: Whatever!

>
> Brent taking the fatal blow ment

MIKE: --os freshness!

> for me.
>
> Brent's last 'I love you'.

CROW: Brent's fatal wedgie.

>
> Brent's last 'good-bye'.

TOM: Brent's last "I let one".
MIKE: Brent's last "Beef Chunkbuns".
CROW: Brent's last "bite me".

>
> Brent's lifeless hand...

CROW: Is it green and moldy?

>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------

BOTS: [ Wayne & Garth ] Scene change, scene change, party time, excellent! Woo
woo!!
MIKE: OK, that's more than enough of that.

>
> "That bastard's already killed every one of my loves, except you. I don't

TOM: [ Sonia/Suni ] Love you, though.

> want him to take you away too, Daviiie."

MIKE: This fanfic is brought to you by the letters "I".

> As Sonia sobs, Davey's mind flashes to a file he has in his RAM on her.

CROW: He's been ramming her?
MIKE: Crow! Yech!

> It concerns a deceased squirrel named

TOM: Hmm. Gee, lemme guess... Could it possibly be "Brent"?

> Brent

TOM: Aha! Brent! I told you!
CROW: Wow, let's sign Tommy Boy up for the Psychic Network!

> Packbell.

BOTS: Su-u-ure.

> He was as close to
> Suni as Davey is now,

MIKE: Yeah, see, just a couple of inches.

> and the two were scheduled to be

CROW: Ambushed by Packbell. No, wait! I meant, uh...

> engaged

CROW: Yeah, that's it!

> when they
> were journeying to Knothole to join Princess Sally's Freedom Fighters. Yet,
> sadly,

TOM: This fanfic was created.

> that same android Davey just stared down attacked the couple en
> route, and Brent was killed in the battle.
> Suni just seemed to wilt afterward. She was very anti-social during

CROW: Her entire life.

> that time. Even Lutherain had trouble reaching her, and he's a telepath.

TOM: Oh, yeah, Mr. High-and-Mighty Telepath!

> It was not before this cyborg

CROW: Yoda of Borg am I! Assimilated you will be! Futile resistance is, hmm?
MIKE: I am Intel of Borg. You will be assimilated, but because other
cybernetic entities have cloned us and done a better job of assimilating
than we have, you will be renamed to Feablemystra Pro so we can
trademark the name.
TOM: I am Priest of Borg. Assimilate for your sins.

> human that followed Sally home,

BOTS: Can we keep him?
MIKE: Who would want to?

> who was

TOM: Old, ugly, fat, and unliked universally.

> destined to become the tall orange fox who is Davey Crockett,

TOM: I am the Ghost of Fanfic Past. Who was?
MIKE: I am the Ghost of Fanfic Present. Who is?
CROW: I am the Ghost of Fanfic Future. Bite me.

> when Boometia
> Sonia Madilyn Hedgehog

ALL: [ snort, snicker, chuckle ]
MIKE: Oh, give me a break!
TOM: "Boometia"?!
CROW: No wonder she uses her middle name!

> allowed her heart to trust anyone again. "I don't
> know what you did to her but I can greatly appreciate it, David," Princess
> Sally once said on the subject. "There seems to be a weight that lifts when
> she's around you."

MIKE: And then *slams* down over and over and over and over again!!

> Davey held his temperamental

CROW: --spazzy, annoying, irritating, mood-swinging--

> girlfriend tenderly and whispered into her
> ear. "I was almost killed by somebody worse than Packbell in my world, and
> I lived to tell about it. What makes you think that any bot, borg

CROW: I am Cochrane of Borg. You will be assimilated, even if it won't fit.
TOM: I am Rush Limbaugh of Borg. Liberals will be assimilated.
MIKE: We are Doug and Bob McKenzie of Borg. You will be assimilated, then
hosed, and then we'll all have a beer, eh?

> , or droid

TOM: [ R2D2 ] Bleep-bloop!

> with a gun and an attitude can finish me off?"

BOTS: We wish!

> "D-David, I must know, d-do you like

MIKE: [ Sonia/Suni ] Ham?

> me?"
> "Of, course I like you, Sonia."

CROW: [ Davey ] You suck, but everyone sucks except me, and you suck less than
others do.

> "No, not like that. I m-m-mean . . . do you really . . . like

MIKE: [ Sonia/Suni ] Ham?

> me?"
> "Oh," Davey pondered.

CROW: [ Davey ] Ding! All done.
MIKE: Guys? I think we need to talk.

> His mind goes back to the times that he tried to
> get a girlfriend, but due to his crappy social status on Earth,

TOM: Ya got that right!
CROW: About what?

> no one of
> the fairer sex wanted to be near him.

CROW: Ya got that right too!
MIKE: About our riffs on Davey.
TOM: What?

> All the good ones were taken by the
> handsome, the strong, the lucky.

CROW: Which he was not.
MIKE: You're not listening.
TOM: You want us to go easy on Davey?
MIKE: Well, just a bit.

> All that was left for him was the
> wallflowers and the weirdos.

CROW: Madonna!
TOM: RuPaul!
MIKE: Guys, c'mon.
CROW: Why?
MIKE: Well, we're being kind of harsh on him! I mean--

> Like the one who wanted him for sex and sex
> alone;

[ Everyone stares; for a few moments, no one speaks. Mike chuckles, then
snickers, then bursts into laughter. The bots soon follow suit. ]

> when he said that sex before marriage was just not his thing, she
> dumped him and cried 'rape' on him.

[ Everyone is still laughing loudly. ]

> He's sell his soul to the devil for a
> girl to say what Suni just said, honestly and without manipulation.

[ Finally, Mike & the bots calm down. ]
MIKE: Hoo boy!
CROW: Oh man!
TOM: Just when I thought this fanfic could NOT get any sillier!
MIKE: OK, just forget what I was saying earlier.
CROW: Done and done!

> Fortunately for him, he had a discount in the offer; his soul didn't need to
> be on the bargaining table--

MIKE: Satan rejected it anyway!
CROW: [ deep, evil voice ] Excellent... I have taught you well.

> just his left arm, and the dealer was a
> squirrel. "Sonia, my dear. I have never had a girlfriend in seven years.

MIKE: What, he had a girlfriend until he was a teenager?
TOM: [ Sonia/Suni ] Maybe there's a reason for it, know what I mean, nudge
nudge, *stink* *stink*?!

> Trust me on this:

CROW: [ Nixon ] I am not a crook.

> It's love. I might be a little too quick

CROW: [ Sonia/Suni ] Yeah, especially in-- [ Crow doesn't finish. Mike elbows
him in the beak, spinning his head around and around... ]
MIKE: Never ever *EVER* make a joke like that again.
TOM: Eeugh!

> on this--"
> Suni looked into his eyes and began to

MIKE: Puke!

> sparkle--all over her body. The
> stardust began to surround him too, lifting them up in the air. A 'poof,'

TOM: And who caused this poof?
ALL: The Amazing Rando!

> and then, Sonia was dressed up as

ALL: Elvis!

> a medieval princess, cone hat and all.

CROW: [ monotone ] We are Conehats. We come from France.

> Davey's clothes were changed too, into something that resembled what King
> Acorn wore.

TOM: A nice pink ballet tutu.

> "The Stardusrince,"

CROW: Gesundheit?
MIKE: Actually, no.

> Sonia said, the word flowing like the water off a

MIKE: Anything to say, Crow?
CROW: Uh, well, no.

> water
> fall."It means

TOM: [ Sonia/Suni ] Bite Me.
CROW: Oh, really original.
TOM: Three words. "Pot". "Kettle". "Black".
CROW: If Mike wasn't between us, you'd be scrap metal.

> 'Love Dance'. You, Davey Crockett,

ALL: [ singing ] King of the CRAP Frontier!

> courier of the Royal House
> of Acorn,

MIKE: [ Sonia/Suni ] Really suck.

> have won my heart.

TOM: [ Sonia/Suni ] At a carnival game.

> I, Commadress Wizard Boometia Sonia Madylin of

MIKE: [ Sonia/Suni ] The People with Moronic Names Club.

> the Regal House of

TOM: Stuff.
CROW: Thingies.

> Hedgehog,

MIKE: Oh, *Spiny* Thingies.

> love you with all my heart, soul, and body."

CROW: And waffles.
MIKE: And neck brace.
TOM: And butt.
CROW: And silly first name.
MIKE: And... oh, ah, pass.
TOM: And caramel Twixes.

> Neither one could stand

MIKE: So they both fell down.

> the tention

CROW: Hey, Mike, what's fivetion plus fivetion?
MIKE: I guess tention.
CROW: You're welcome! Wait, that doesn't work...

> at the moment.

TOM: So...
MIKE: [ falls over ]
CROW: Wha?
MIKE: Sorry. Couldn't stand the tension.
CROW: D'oh!

> Davey brought Suni up

TOM: From when she was just a child.

> with lighting speed

CROW: Blacklight?
TOM: Flourescent?

> and pressed his mouth against hers.

CROW: Eeeww!!
TOM: Hide me!!
MIKE: This is almost as bad as that scene in "The Eye of Argon" with the fat
guy and the babe.
CROW: I still don't understand how she could be slender and busty at once!

> His warm lips
> encased her own,

MIKE: Yep, this *is* the scene in "The Eye of Argon".

> filling her being

CROW: Oh, a self-service station of lo-o-ove!

> with

TOM: Sausage patties!
MIKE: Egg McMuffins!

> joy and excitement.

TOM: And sausage patties.
MIKE: And Egg McMuffins.

> Never have
> either of them kissed like this!

CROW: Y'know, you could leave out the last two words and that sentence would
still be totally accurate!
MIKE: Hm.
TOM: True.

> Only pure love could house such a
> passionate embrace.

MIKE: But Motel 6 comes darned close.

> Energy flowed from this kiss, soft and tender.

[ A glowing yellow blob of something bounces into the theater. ]
TOM: What's that?
MIKE: [ takes the blob ] Well, it's soft and tender. My guess? Flowing energy.

> Oh, how
> they wish to let all of Mobius melt away just for the two lovebirds to stay
> like this forever, in each others arms and thoughts...

MIKE: It kinda gets you right here. [ points to his heart ]
CROW: Yeah, it's getting me right about here! [ points to his stomach (or
where it would be, if he was human) ]

> Despite the fact that
> Sally entered the scene to ask for Davey again. She had the manners to wait
> for the lovebirds to pry themselves off each other

CROW: You get the feeling that this is... oh, I dunno... wrong?
TOM: In many ways, my friend. Many ways.

> this time. Besides,
> Davey flashed "Can it wait, Sal?" on his holographic monitor.

ALL: Wah-wah-waaaahhh...

>

MIKE: [ high-pitched ] I must run away!
CROW: Huh?
MIKE: You know, "Mind Your Manners with Billy Quan"?
CROW: Nope.
MIKE: "Bricks of Fury"?
CROW: Nuh-uh.
MIKE: Haven't you ever seen Bill Nye?
CROW: No.
MIKE: You don't know what you're missing.
TOM: [ Billy Quan ] Remember, kids--be like Billy! Know your momentum!

[ Everyone leaves the theater. ]

[ MST3K planet bumper. Commercials ensue. ]

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
End of part 4b of 9
Shay Caron (Shay_...@letterbox.com
-or-
glee...@aol.com)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

-----== Posted via Deja News, The Leader in Internet Discussion ==-----
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Antaeus Feldspar

unread,
May 20, 1998, 3:00:00 AM5/20/98
to

<Shay_...@letterbox.com> wrote:

> > girlfriend tenderly and whispered into her
> > ear. "I was almost killed by somebody worse than Packbell in my world, and
> > I lived to tell about it. What makes you think that any bot, borg

Ooof. Shay, how in hell did you survive reading this thing
unMiSTed? I think I actually *prefer* Oscar's fanfiction: Oscar may
want us to think that he's the hottest herm on wheels, but at least he
doesn't keep reminding us to admire him AND feel sorry for him!!

-jc

--
* -jc IS *NOW* feld...@cryogen.com
* Home page: http://members.tripod.com/~afeldspar/index.html
* The home of >>Failed Pilots Playhouse<<
* "Better you hold me close than understand..." Thomas Dolby

FoxTrot

unread,
May 20, 1998, 3:00:00 AM5/20/98
to

Antaeus Feldspar wrote:

> <Shay_...@letterbox.com> wrote:
>
> > > girlfriend tenderly and whispered into her
> > > ear. "I was almost killed by somebody worse than Packbell in my world, and
> > > I lived to tell about it. What makes you think that any bot, borg
>

> Ooof. Shay, how in hell did you survive reading this thing
> unMiSTed? I think I actually *prefer* Oscar's fanfiction: Oscar may
> want us to think that he's the hottest herm on wheels, but at least he
> doesn't keep reminding us to admire him AND feel sorry for him!!

Who's Oscar?

--
Tom "FoxTrot the Super Spy" Cox
MSTie #83019

New supergroups of the late 90s: the Silk Girls, the Mineral
Resources Girls, the Columbus Tried To Go Here But He Got Lost
And Discovered America Girls... -Andrew "NO .SIG MAN" "Juan"
Perron

GLEEMOTH

unread,
May 20, 1998, 3:00:00 AM5/20/98
to

> Ooof. Shay, how in hell did you survive reading this thing
> unMiSTed? I think I actually *prefer* Oscar's fanfiction: Oscar may
> want us to think that he's the hottest herm on wheels, but at least he
> doesn't keep reminding us to admire him AND feel sorry for him!!
>
> -jc
I have no idea how I was able to survive this. Perhaps I lack pain receptors in
my brain. Maybe it has something to do with my failed attempt at a Sonic fanfic
years ago (I killed it before the first chapter was done). Or I could just be
plain immune. *shrug* The world may never know.
Shay Caron (.sig temporarily out of order)

Matthew R Blackwell

unread,
May 21, 1998, 3:00:00 AM5/21/98
to

On Thu, 21 May 1998 00:12:09 GMT, FoxTrot <Fox...@Mailcity.com>
wrote:

>Matthew R Blackwell wrote:
>
>> FoxTrot wrote:


>>
>> >Antaeus Feldspar wrote:
>> >
>> >> Ooof. Shay, how in hell did you survive reading this thing
>> >> unMiSTed? I think I actually *prefer* Oscar's fanfiction: Oscar may
>> >> want us to think that he's the hottest herm on wheels, but at least he
>> >> doesn't keep reminding us to admire him AND feel sorry for him!!
>> >

>> > Who's Oscar?
>>
>> One of the ickiest writers to wander down the pike in a long, long
>> time. Let's just say that he makes the person who wrote that NC-17
>> rated STNG/1776 crossover that I read a while ago seem like Mr.
>> Rogers.
>>
>> Matt- Really, you don't want to know who Oscar is.
>
> four things. 1st. Is the story mentioned above archived? =)

No. There's not a MiSTie on the dibs list who wanted to touch it.
(And with good reason too.)

> 2nd. I want to know who Oscar is.

Sigh. Remember, you asked to know. All people who wish to retain their
dinners, please leave the thread.

O
S
C
A
R

S
P
O
I
L
E
R

S
P
A
C
E

Okay, first of all, Titanic's going to lose best Picture to "Agent
Action!" the best film of 1997.

Seriously (and remember, you asked to know), Oscar is (allegedly)
a thirteen year old fan-fic writer, who likes writing Sailor Moon fan
fiction. He's also (alledgedly) a hermaphrodite, meaning that he has
both male and female sex organs. He specializes in writing
self-insertition, lemon stories. (Self insertion meaning that he wrote
himself into the story. Lemon is anime slang for a sexual story.)
Oscar burst onto the fanfic scene by writing a story where he falls in
love with one of the Sailor Moon characters, and vice versa. The
character who fell for him? Artemis, Sailor Moon's cat. Since then,
he's written more stories where he's, ahem, enjoyed Artemeis'
company. He's also written further lemons in this series where he's
scored with a character from the Nightstalkers video game, (who
incidentally is a cat girl), Fifi LaFume, Lola Bunny and others, but
he just keeps coming back to that damn cat. Oh, did I mention that he
also has super powers? Well, he does. Take this appealling mass of
humanity, and add in worse spelling and grammar than Ratliff had in
"Enterprized" and you've got a truly horrible writer of fan-fiction.
I'll reserve judgement on Oscar's personal character as well.

> 3rd Have any of his stories been MSTed?

Actually, most of them have been, but by the anime people, so that
they haven't been posted here.

> 4th. Where can I find his work?
>

Quite a few can be found at Web site #9, which is still at
http://pinky.wtower.com/mst3k

A complete set can be found at
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Temple/4007/Oscar.html

His most infamous tale is "Artemis' Lover" which can be found at both
sites.

Matt- Remember, you asked to be told.

>


Antaeus Feldspar

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May 21, 1998, 3:00:00 AM5/21/98
to

FoxTrot <Fox...@Mailcity.com> wrote:

> Antaeus Feldspar wrote:
>
> > <Shay_...@letterbox.com> wrote:
> >

> > > > girlfriend tenderly and whispered
> > > > into her ear. "I was almost killed by somebody worse than Packbell
> > > > in my world, and I lived to tell about it. What makes you think
> > > > that any bot, borg
> >

> > Ooof. Shay, how in hell did you survive reading this thing
> > unMiSTed? I think I actually *prefer* Oscar's fanfiction: Oscar may
> > want us to think that he's the hottest herm on wheels, but at least he
> > doesn't keep reminding us to admire him AND feel sorry for him!!
>
> Who's Oscar?

A nearly legendary figure in anime fanfic and fanfic MiSTing
circles -- legendary the way that Ed Wood, Coleman Francis and Ray
Dennis Steckler are in movie circles.
His best-known work is "Artemis' Lover," a self-insertion Sailor
Moon fic in which he claims to be a 14-year-old hermaphrodite, and tells
us how he began his relationship with Artemis -- Artemis being the male
talking cat who advises Sailor Venus (IIRC). In case you're
wondering... yes, it's explicit.
There's actually a "Shrine To Oscar" explaining the Oscar
phenomenon at <http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Temple/4007/Oscar.html>.

Dinobot

unread,
May 21, 1998, 3:00:00 AM5/21/98
to

>
> Who's Oscar?
>
>
Someone who's Sailor Moon fanfics are infamous for being _disgusting_.
(Self-Insert lemon..with a cat!)
Dinobot has spoken.

My rigid grill structure is bearing in on your
unproteched cargo door- Tom Servo Riding with Death

It never ends does it?- Optimus Primal, the Low Road.

Autobots DIEEE!- Scorponok

Mike Czaplinski

unread,
May 26, 1998, 3:00:00 AM5/26/98
to

Matthew R Blackwell wrote:
>
> On Wed, 20 May 1998 19:25:56 GMT, FoxTrot <Fox...@Mailcity.com>
> wrote:

[snip]

> > Who's Oscar?

[snip .sig]



> One of the ickiest writers to wander down the pike in a long, long
> time. Let's just say that he makes the person who wrote that NC-17
> rated STNG/1776 crossover that I read a while ago seem like Mr.
> Rogers.

STNG/1776.....

Though I now have this vision of Patrick Stewart in a powdered wig,
dancing up & down the bridge steps singing:

"Orion V! Orion V!"

Mike "And Thomas Jefferson and Troi not coming out of her cabin for
a week..." Czaplinski
ekim.czaplinski<at>washingtoncd.rcn.moc

Carl Burke

unread,
May 26, 1998, 3:00:00 AM5/26/98
to

Mike Czaplinski wrote:
...

> Mike "And Thomas Jefferson and Troi not coming out of her cabin for
> a week..." Czaplinski

"But it's _the middle of the afternoon_!"
"Not everyone's from Vulcan, John."

--
--------------------------------------------------
Carl Burke, cbu...@mitre.org -- le nu ko batci mi kei cu zdile
My opinions are mine and mine alone, unless you
agree with them. Then I'll share.
--------------------------------------------------
"Ahh, the smell of leather, the taste of boots.
Doesn't get any better than this." -- Rich "Gentle Pressure" Sheridan
--------------------------------------------------

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