<Joel> Hey, guys, this looks important...it's in CAPITAL LETTERS.
<Crow> Wait...is that "The LAW of RETRIBUTION", or "THE Law of RETRIBUTION"?
<Joel> I think it's a little bit of both.
> Violent crime, racism, bigotry, domestic abuse, rape,
<Tom> ...and lions and tigers and bears!
<All> Oh, my!
> police brutality and oppression,
<Tom> "Help, help! I'm being oppressed!"
> human rights violations,
> etc., ETC., continue to get worse and worse in spite of more
> and more man-made laws on all levels from local ordinances to
> international law.
>
> The man-made laws are NOT working.
>
> "WHAT WE HAVE HERE IS FAILURE TO COMMUNICATE!"
<All> Bzzzzt! Heard it!
> Perpetrators remain IGNORANT of The LAW
<Joel> It's...
<Crow> ...the LAW!
> --a universal, cosmic,
> and Spiritual Law--The "LAW
<Tom> The LAW!
> of RETRIBUTION" or "KARMA":
<All> *sings* Karma, Karma, Karma, Karma, Karma Chameleon....
>
> "Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a
> man soweth,
<Joel> He must have previously rippeth.
> that shall he also reap." Galatians 6:7, KJV.
<Tom> No, no! That's RIP, you moron! Rip! RIP!
>
> "He that leadeth into captivity shall go into captivity;
<Tom> Well...I mean, if he's *leading* them there, then isn't this kind of
obvious?
> he that killeth with the sword must be killed with the sword.
> Here is the patience and faith of the saints." Revelation
> 13:10, KJV.
>
> "What goes around comes around."
<Tom> Now THERE'S an original phrase.
<Crow> Yeah...I wonder if it will catch on some day?
>
> This LAW
<Crow> For those of you who missed it...it's the LAW.
<Joel> The LAW...
<Tom> The LAW...
> of the Universe is just as real as the physical
> law that for every action there is an equal and opposite
> REaction.
<Joel> Is there supposed to be a connection here?
>
> It is the ENFORCEMENT, the TEETH, behind The "GOLDEN
> RULE":
<Tom> The RULE!
<Joel> The LAW...
> "Do unto others as you would have others do unto you."
<Tom> I want to be covered in CHOCOLATE!
<Joel> I want to be pushed off a building!
<Crow> I want someone to bite me!
>
> ALL perpetrators in the present will become VICTIMS in
> the future,
<Tom> But what were the perpetrators in the present in their past lives?
<Joel> I think they were insureance salesmen, Tom.
<Crow> Whoa! Talk about BAD KARMA!
> most likely in a FUTURE INCARNATION. Most
<Tom> Ha! Like it'd be MORE likely to happen in a PAST incarnation!
> victims in the present were PERPETRATORS in the past, usually
> during a PREVIOUS LIFE.
<Joel> Oh, I see! They we're in a previous life, in the past!
<Crow> I want to be in a previous life in the future!
>
> What is needed is a MASSIVE WORLDWIDE PROGRAM of
<Tom> Reality! That's what YOU need, pal!
> EDUCATION to teach ALL present and potential perpetrators, in
<Crow> And insurance salesmen.
> a convincing manner (with sufficient supporting evidence),
<Tom> Oh, were just FULL of evidence today, AREN'T we?
> that what they do to others WILL BE DONE TO THEM, in this
> life or the next.
<Tom> Joel, does that mean we'll have to see this paper again?
<Joel> I dunno, Tom.
>
> Anyone who doubts the FACT
<Joel> The FACT!
<Tom> The LAW...
<Crow> The LAW!
> of REINCARNATION, and the
> related "LAW of Retribution", should read books such as "HERE
<All> THE LAW!
> AND HEREAFTER", by Ruth Montgomery,
<Crow> Wasn't she on "Bewitched"?
<Joel> No, Crow, that was *Elizabeth* Montgomery
> which describes several
> kinds of evidence supporting REincarnation,
<Joel> Ahh... REincarnation
<Crow> As opposed to what?
<Tom> UNincarnation?
including
> HYPNOTIC REGRESSION to past lives
<Tom> OH, like you can regress to FUTURE lives!
> [about 50% accurate; the
> subconscious mind can sometimes make things up, especially
<Joel> Wow, guys! A mind that can make things up!
<Crow> You mean like this paper?
> with a bad hypnotist], SPONTANEOUS
<Tom> Combustion?
> RECALL (especially by
<Tom> Ah..
> young children, some of whom
<Crow> ...are even potty-trained.
> can identify their most recent
> previous relatives, homes,
<Joel> and Gardens.
> possessions, etc.), DREAM RECALL
> of past life experiences, DEJA VU (familiarity with a far off
> land while traveling there for the first time on vacation),
<Crow> Well, what if you're *not* on vacation?
> the psychic readings of the late EDGAR CAYCE, and EVEN
<Tom> If he's so psychic, how come he's so late?
> SUPPORTING STATEMENTS FROM THE CHRISTIAN BIBLE
<Joel> Even supporting statements? That's odd...
<Tom> Joel, please...
<Joel> Sorry, Tom.
> including
> Matthew 17:11-13 (John the Baptist was the REINCARNATION of
> Elias.) and John 9:1-2
<Crow> And Moe, and Larry, and Curly...
> (How can a person POSSIBLY sin before
> he is born, unless he LIVED BEFORE?!).
<Joel> *Sally Struthers voice* Do YOU want to learn how you can sin
BEFORE you are born?
<All> Sure! We all do!
>
> Strong INTERESTS,
<Joel> WEAK interests.
> innate TALENTS, strong PHOBIAS, etc.,
> typically originate from a person's PAST LIVES. For example,
> a strong fear of swimming in or traveling over water usually
> results from having DROWNED at the end of a PREVIOUS LIFE.
<Joel> Oh, I get it! The drowned at the *end* of their previous life...
<Tom> Yeah, I hate it when I drown at the *beginning* of a previous life.
> And sometimes a person will take AN IMMEDIATE DISLIKE to
> another person being met for the first time
<Crow> Because they smell!
<Tom> Because they look like Joan Rivers!
> in their PRESENT
> life, because of a bad encounter with him during a PREVIOUS
> INCARNATION.
<Joel> Does that mean he didn't like flowers?
<Tom> Uh, Joel, that's INcarnation.
<Joel> Oh...
>
> People would behave much better toward each other if
> they knew that their actions in the present
<Crow> ...were being recorded on video tape.
> will SURELY be
> reaped by them in the future, or in a FUTURE INCARNATION!
>
>
> For more information,
<Crow> Call 1-800-BITE-ME
> answers to your questions, etc.,
> please consult my CITED SOURCES
<Joel> I bet *you* can't say that three times fast.
> (books like "HERE AND
> HEREAFTER", by Ruth Montgomery).
>
>
> UN-altered REPRODUCTION and DISSEMINATION of this
> IMPORTANT Information is ENCOURAGED.
<Crow> But NOT recommended!
>
>
> Robert E. McElwaine
> 2nd Initiate in Eckankar,
<Crow> What's an Eckankar?
<Joel> I think it's a kind of vegetable.
<Tom> Maybe it's type of fungus.
<Crow> You mean, like this paper?
> (but not an agent thereof)
<Joel> Well, I'M relieved, how about you guys?
<Tom> Is it over yet?
<Crow> I think so...I don't see anymore capital letters.
1...2....3....4....5....6....G
<Joel> What do you think, Sirs?
--
John Mechalas \ If you think my opinions are Purdue's, then
mech...@expert.cc.purdue.edu \ you vastly overestimate my importance.
Purdue University Computing Center \ Stamp out and abolish redundancy.
General Consulting \ If you can read this you are too close.
--
John Mechalas \ If you think my opinions are Purdue's, then
mech...@expert.cc.purdue.edu \ you vastly overestimate my importance.
Purdue University Computing Center \ Stamp out and abolish redundancy.
General Consulting \ If you can read this you are too close.
It's FABULOUUUSSS!
--
Mark Meyer | mme...@dseg.ti.com |
Texas Instruments, Inc., Plano TX +--------------------+
Every day, Jerry Junkins is grateful that I don't speak for TI.
Remember: If you drive - use a car.
Ditto! This one had me cracking up when I read it last night. The
Joel-and-the-'Bots-esque comments are perfectly in style with the
ones we know and love. Brilliant!
Robin C. Kwong ("er)
Leapers...join in! Write to NBC!