MST3K and the MSTing format, characters, etc belong to Best Brains. No
infringment of copyright intended. Spam is copyright Jonathan, or
prom...@flashmail.com. MSTing is, of course, copyright Silas Janzen.
With that said, let's...begin.
************************************************************
<Crow, Mike and Tom enter the theater>
Subject:
Get Paid 1 MILLION Dollars Without Working!
CROW (Wayne): Yeah, and flying monkeys will jump out of my butt.
MIKE: I think you got that wrong.
CROW: Bite me!
Date:
Fri, 31 Jan 2003 00:18:24 -0600
From:
prom...@flashmail.com
Hello,
ALL: HELLO!!
My name is Jonathan, a self made Internet Millionaire,
CROW: Why is it in capitals?
MIKE: Maybe it's his job.
TOM: Self...made...eww...
MIKE: So he impregnated himself?
CROW: MIIIIIIIIIKE!!
MIKE: Heh.
and I am offering you ONE MILLION
DOLLARS
CROW: If the PRICE IS RIGHT!!
for simply joining my Wealth Building Network!
CROW (Jonathan): Once you join, your first job will be to...give me two
million
dollars!
YES, you read that correctly!
MIKE: Did we?
CROW: I guess we did...
TOM: Boy, this Jonathan fellow is pretty strict...
I'll pay you ONE MILLION DOLLARS without ever having to
CROW (Johnathan): --Pay me anything less than the cost of a small house!
But It's
worth it!
sponsor
or recruit anyone, place any ads, or do ANY work at all!
CROW: So what, you could make a million dollars just sitting around
eating onion dip?
MIKE: No, I think you need a university course for that...
TOM: It's all in how you hold the spoon.
Plus, there are MANY other benefits the YOU will receive as a member!
CROW (Jonathan): Including this excellent...COMMEMERATIVE GOLD-PLATED
BADGER!!
MIKE (Gullible person): Really?!
CROW (Jonathan): Well...it's actually just a bit of roadkill dipped in
gold paint...
Make NO mistake about it, this offer is for REAL!
CROW: Really?
TOM: Really.
CROW: Is it really real? I mean, can this be really for real? Are YOU
for real?
Really?
TOM: Really really.
MIKE: The "really" sketch, ladies and gentlemen.
This is NOT mlm or network marketing!
MIKE: It's a COMPLETELY different scam!
Don't let this ONCE IN A LIFTIME, MILLION DOLLAR Opportunity just pass
YOU by!
CROW (Singing): So don't delay, act now...
Simply click on the link below RIGHT NOW
ALL (Singing): RIGHT NOW!
for all of the details of how this is possible!
http://www.geocities.com/makrrnoneynow
CROW: Heh. Geocities.
TOM (Sarcastic): Gee, now I _KNOW_ it's not a scam!
This message was sent to you because
MIKE: The world hates you.
CROW: ...I'll accept that.
someone using this email address has expressed an interest
and requested information about income opportunities in the past.
MIKE (Dr. Evil): Riiiiiiight.
If you would like to delete
yourself from the list, click reply and put delete as the subject, our
automated
system will
permanently stop all further offers.
MIKE (Dr. Evil): Riiiiiiight.
CROW: Okay, that's enough, fleshy.
9067khl6
9716HCRZ8-682EeHt5150GsHO5-0l26
ALL: Gehundesheit!
CROW: And...we're clear.
<All exit theater>
*****************************************************************
Well? Didja like it? Remember, PLEASE critique. Even if you hated
it--for whatever reason--I wanna know!
____
Be sure to remove the "xx"'s from my email when replying. It should read
silas...@shaw.ca.
"Ford, you're turning into a penguin! Stop it!"
--Arthur Dent, The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy