Dry Martini

ROBERT J DAMATO

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Mar 11, 2002, 12:57:07 PM3/11/02

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I was hoping someone can clear something up for me...I remember a
M*A*S*H
episode that Hawkeye went off on how dry the Martini should be that he
was ordering. I've looked into a number of episode guides but
obviously
this was only a small portion of that particular show. I only
remember
something about, "So Dry It's has Dust"....and he went on with a
number of other funny dry references

Can anyone provide the episode, the season, ect...so I can look for
it--or even better yet if anyone knows the actual lines from the
episode.

Anything would help---Thanks in advance!

Please email me:
Rob Damato
rjda...@byramlabs.com

CaptJosh

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Mar 11, 2002, 4:13:18 PM3/11/02

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That's "Dry, drier, driest. I want DUST on it."

CaptJosh

"ROBERT J DAMATO" <rjda...@byramlabs.com> wrote in message
news:e9a19b84.02031...@posting.google.com...

Barrie

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Mar 11, 2002, 5:00:58 PM3/11/02

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>I was hoping someone can clear something up for me...I remember a
>> M*A*S*H
>> episode that Hawkeye went off on how dry the Martini should be that he
>> was ordering.

There are a few times he did that. One is the one noted by CaptJosh. Another is
"I want a dry martini, Mr. Quok, a very dry martini. There should be *dust* on
the olive." I think there are some more, but I don't remember them exactly.

Abyssinia,
Barrie

"All I know is what they taught me at command school. There are certain rules
about a war and rule number one is young men die. And rule number two is
doctors can't change rule number one." -- Lt. Col. Henry Blake

Brad

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Mar 11, 2002, 5:24:53 PM3/11/02

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"ROBERT J DAMATO" <rjda...@byramlabs.com> wrote in message
news:e9a19b84.02031...@posting.google.com...

In "There is Nothing Like a Nurse", Hawkeye, at the Officer's Club, says to
the bartender (unreliable quote) "I'd like a dry martini Mr Quok. A dry,
arid, barren, veritible dustball of a martini. I'd like a martini that's
been declared a disaster area. Mix me such a martini." Trapper adds "With
two straws".

I may have taken quotes from two or more episodes though.

--
Brad

Brad

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Mar 11, 2002, 5:26:45 PM3/11/02

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"ROBERT J DAMATO" <rjda...@byramlabs.com> wrote in message
news:e9a19b84.02031...@posting.google.com...

> Can anyone provide the episode, the season, ect...so I can look for
> it--or even better yet if anyone knows the actual lines from the
> episode.

I think "Officer's Only" (season 2) has the line "There should be dust on
the olive".

--
Brad

Ernest Tomlinson

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Mar 11, 2002, 8:12:03 PM3/11/02

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I'm about to reveal myself as thoroughly unsophisticate in matters of
alcohol, but what is this obsession with a "dry" (i. e. no vermouth)
martini? I've been told by a friend that the original recipe for a
martini called for only _two_ parts of gin to one of vermouth. I
happen to like the taste of vermouth, and I can imagine liking such a
martini. But if you want it so dry that there's "dust on the olive",
why not simply ask for straight-up gin? Or would that make you look
like a lush instead of a sophisticated drinker?

I'm reminded, by the way, of an old episode of the Sunday comic strip
"Wildwood". One of the characters is seen reading something and
sipping a martini, and he declares to another character that a martini
is the sign of a man of mature, sophisticated tastes. The other
character leaves, and the first goes back to his reading and his
drink, whereupon he says to himself, "Ah, Batman, you poor, tortured
soul." <giggle>

Cheers,

Ernest (an alcoholic, but red wine is my preferred tipple.)

THX_OVERLORD

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Mar 11, 2002, 10:48:19 PM3/11/02

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I actually mix them 10:1 ratio, I find the dryer they are the smoother
it taste. However they are an aquired tase most people don't like
them. I also only use Beffeater Gin.

On 11 Mar 2002 09:57:07 -0800, rjda...@byramlabs.com (ROBERT J

John Tidwell

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Mar 12, 2002, 1:35:26 AM3/12/02

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You are correct, sir! Calling it a dry martini & putting it in a fancy
glass looks classier than drinking straight from the bottle!

John

phila...@softhome.net (Ernest Tomlinson) wrote in message news:<3c8d556...@news.earthlink.net>...

AOHELL actually

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Mar 12, 2002, 10:36:51 AM3/12/02

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> "Brad" whit...@eisa.net.au
>Date: 03/11/2002 5:24 PM Eastern

>In "There is Nothing Like a Nurse", Hawkeye, at the Officer's Club, says to
>the bartender (unreliable quote) "I'd like a dry martini Mr Quok. A dry,
>arid, barren, veritible dustball of a martini. I'd like a martini that's
>been declared a disaster area. Mix me such a martini." Trapper adds "With
>two straws".
>
>I may have taken quotes from two or more episodes though.
>
>--
>Brad

Must have been all the martinis.

Eddie
======================================
If I want to chew the fat, I'll eat a sandwich.

Eric A Holeman

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Mar 12, 2002, 11:14:23 AM3/12/02

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In article <6f69baa6.02031...@posting.google.com>,
John Tidwell <wedg...@yahoo.com> wrote:

>You are correct, sir! Calling it a dry martini & putting it in a fancy
>glass looks classier than drinking straight from the bottle!

That's part of it, I'm certain. But the roots of the martini go back to
when bathtub gin needed a fair amount of vermouth just to make it
palatable. As gin got better, there was less need to cover up the taste,
which brings us to the Winston Churchill method: glance briefly at the
bottle of vermouth while pouring the juniper distillate freely. I don't
like 'me quite that dry, myself--but usually a tiny splash of vermouth in
the mix is enough. Or maybe just wetting the side of the glass with
vermouth.

More fun info on martinis, not terribly relevant to anything, is available
at http://www.straightdope.com/mailbag/mmartini.html .

--
---
Eric Holeman eholem1 at uic,edu Chicago Illinois USA
"I've always felt that blues, rock 'n' roll and country are
just about a beat apart." - Waylon Jennings 1937-2002

CaptJosh

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Mar 12, 2002, 12:05:05 PM3/12/02

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"Eric A Holeman" <eho...@icarus.cc.uic.edu> wrote in message
news:a6l9gv$q...@icarus.cc.uic.edu...

> In article <6f69baa6.02031...@posting.google.com>,
> John Tidwell <wedg...@yahoo.com> wrote:
>
> >You are correct, sir! Calling it a dry martini & putting it in a fancy
> >glass looks classier than drinking straight from the bottle!
>
> That's part of it, I'm certain. But the roots of the martini go back to
> when bathtub gin needed a fair amount of vermouth just to make it
> palatable. As gin got better, there was less need to cover up the taste,
> which brings us to the Winston Churchill method: glance briefly at the
> bottle of vermouth while pouring the juniper distillate freely. I don't
> like 'me quite that dry, myself--but usually a tiny splash of vermouth in
> the mix is enough. Or maybe just wetting the side of the glass with
> vermouth.
>

Wasn't Hawkeye's method for a perfect Martini to walk a glass of gin by the
bottle of Vermouth?

Josh Bucchioni

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Mar 12, 2002, 5:08:20 PM3/12/02

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I think he said it was to drink a glass of gin while staring at a picture of
(forgot the name), inventor of vermouth.

Josh

Andrew Smith

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Mar 12, 2002, 5:59:07 PM3/12/02

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Then of of course there are vodka martinis... swish some vermouth around
in a glass, pour it out, replace it with expertly chilled vodka...
pure hell :)

Andrew Smith

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Mar 12, 2002, 5:59:35 PM3/12/02

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Would that have been Lorenzo Schwartz?
:)

Barrie

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Mar 12, 2002, 8:03:16 PM3/12/02

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In the book "M*A*S*H Goes to New Orleans", Father Mulcahy asks Trapper and
Hawkeye "Do you still make them [Martinis] by exposing the gin for thirty
seconds to the smell of an old vermouth bottle cork?"

CaptJosh

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Mar 12, 2002, 9:29:20 PM3/12/02

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Somehow, I don't think that's how James Bond likes his Vodka Martinis.
Otherwise, they couldn't possibly be "shaken, not stirred".

CaptJosh

"Andrew Smith" <Andrew....@its.monash.edu.au> wrote in message
news:3C8E883B...@its.monash.edu.au...

Mr C

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Mar 14, 2002, 10:10:21 PM3/14/02

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<!@#$%! top-posting corrected>

"CaptJosh" <capt...@phantos.subspacelink.com> wrote in message news:<a6md2g$fgib6$1...@ID-107133.news.dfncis.de>...

> "Andrew Smith" <Andrew....@its.monash.edu.au> wrote in message
> news:3C8E883B...@its.monash.edu.au...

> > THX_OVERLORD wrote:
> >
> > > I actually mix them 10:1 ratio, I find the dryer they are the smoother
> > > it taste. However they are an aquired tase most people don't like
> > > them. I also only use Beffeater Gin.
> > >

> > Then of of course there are vodka martinis... swish some vermouth around
> > in a glass, pour it out, replace it with expertly chilled vodka...
> > pure hell :)
> >

> Somehow, I don't think that's how James Bond likes his Vodka Martinis.

> Otherwise, they couldn't possibly be "shaken, not stirred".
>

He could. The shaken or stirred question refers, if I remember
correctly, to how you chill the vodka or gin *before* you pour it into
the vermouth-coated glass.

I believe it is de rigeur to shake or stir in the tumbler with ice.
The chilled gin is then poured into the glass with fresh ice. The
shake or stir debate concerns not just bruising the gin but
excessively melting the ice in the mixing tumbler.

Mr C (not a drinker, though I sometimes meet them in bars)

--
"I still view most of the world as a giant Frank Burns"--EM

Paul Gadzikowski

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Mar 16, 2002, 12:35:44 PM3/16/02

to ROBERT J DAMATO

ROBERT J DAMATO wrote:

> I was hoping someone can clear something up for me...I remember a
> M*A*S*H
> episode that Hawkeye went off on how dry the Martini should be that he
> was ordering. I've looked into a number of episode guides but
> obviously
> this was only a small portion of that particular show. I only
> remember
> something about, "So Dry It's has Dust"....and he went on with a
> number of other funny dry references
>
> Can anyone provide the episode, the season, ect...so I can look for
> it--or even better yet if anyone knows the actual lines from the
> episode.

I don't recall the whole speech, but I'm certain the episode you're
remembering is "There is Nothing Like a Nurse" from season three. Hawkeye
and Trapper John go to the officers' club after the nurses have been
shipped out, and Hawkeye places his martini order and Trapper John amends
it, "With two straws."

--
Paul Gadzikowski - scar...@iglou.com since 1995
http://members.iglou.com/scarfman

"In these shoes? I don't think so."