favorite MASH quotes
A & E
newsgroup. Love it!!! It's probably been asked (posted) before,
but I was wondering what everyone's favorite MASH quotes or
conversations were your favorites? Please post quickly!!!
Thanks.
A & E
what everyone's favorite MASH quote or series of lines were.
Topping my list are:
"Why are all of these tents doing in our yard, Uncle Ed?"
-Radar to Colonel Potter, after Donald's bachelor party in the
Swamp
"I await on baited-garlic breath the announcement of your
first-born: (colon), to Anoria (Winchester's sister, and I'm not
sure on the spelling) and Vito, the Big-Knife Machete), a
swarthy, dark-haired olive picker."
-Winchester, in a letter to his sister
"Pierce, can I be frank with you?"
Frank?"
"Blunt"
"Oh, that's good, because if you were being frank with me, Frank
would have to be Henry with me and I don't think I could handle
that."
-Conversation with Hawkeye and Blake after Hawkeye went days
without sleep
"Here, used to be round."
"Looks like a 2x4"
"Thank you."
-Conversation between Frank, Hot Liups and Korean craftsman
before the two settle on a gift for the newly-arrived Colonel
Potter
Thanks for your input. I don't have MASH on a television station
where I live and love to hear quotes repeated, especially the
good ones, every once in a while.
Corey Quimby
>
>Frank: The whole time when Frank and Margaret were in a tiff, and
>he got plastered, and began to sing "A B C D E F G H I... I got a
>gal in Kalamazoo... zoo."
>
Wasn't this Radar or Klinger testing out the camp microphone?
Went something like "testing one,two three. Testing one, two three,
A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I got a gal in Kalamazoo."
Oh well not that important.
>Radar: Not one line, but his part in the whole scene where he and
>Hawkeye pick up B. J. in Kimpo, and go into an Officer's Club, and
>Hawkeye makes Radar a "Corporal Captain."
>
I loved that whole hour episode. So many great ones.
"We don't use straws in combat fella" - Radar
"They may be guerrillas" - Radar
"Either that or they are having a gang toitee" - Hawkeye
"This is a general's jack" - Radar
"So salute it and get in" - Hawkeye
"Coporal why are you wet too" - Frank
"It must be something in the water" - Radar
>Col. Flagg: When Hawkeye sarcastically said to Flagg, "Why don't we
>just drop an atomic bomb?" Flagg said, "Hey, don't try to make
>friends with me!"
I loved the Flagg episodes the best.
I loved the one where they thought Frank was a commie.
"That's Reader's Digest" - Frank
"Not when you eliminate the third, fifth and sixth letter. Then
its Red's Digest" - Flagg
Corey Quimby
cor...@netcore.ca
'There once was a deputy named Fife, who carried a gun and a knife.
The gun was all dusty and the knife was all rusty because he never
caught a crook in his life.' -Deputy Barney Fife
"horse hockey!"-"mule fritters!"-"monkey muffins!"-"buffalo bagels!"
"buffalo chips!"-"pigeon pellets!"-"pony pucks!"-"beaver biscuits!"
-Col. Potterisms'
"I will not carry a gun, Frank. When I got thrown into this war I had a
clear understanding with the Pentagon: no guns. I'll carry your books,
I'll carry a torch, I'll carry a tune, I'll carry on, carry over, carry
forward, Cary Grant, cash and carry, carry me back to Old Virginia, I'll
even 'hari-kari' if you show me how, but I will not carry a gun!"
- Hawkeye Pierce,
"Officer of the Day"
Skehan.H
Frank: "Since when have you two ever been interested in the bible?"
Trapper : "I peeked at the end Frank, the devil did it".
No one could put as much contempt into the two words "Hi Frank" as Wayne
Rogers did.
Bud and Casey
I have another along those lines...
When Hawkeye and Trapper are trying to obtaina incubator and the
Supply Officer comes to Henry's office to consult the "Good
Book."
"The 'Good Book?'"
"The manual of Supply and and Requisition."
"Ah, MAN SUP REC."
Then the whole conversation about ordering a pizza oven.
"Where can we get the pizza-oven forms?"
"Just use the standard xxxxx-form and write in pizza where it
says 'machine gun'"
A CLASSIC! Thanks for the reminder.
Matt Crowder
> A & E wrote:
> Frank: The whole time when Frank and Margaret were in a tiff, and
> he got plastered, and began to sing "A B C D E F G H I... I got a
> gal in Kalamazoo... zoo."
Actually, Radar said this while testing the PA before making an announcement.
Matt
--
Matt Crowder "All the things that others want for me
Northwestern University can't buy what I want because it's free."
Evanston, IL USA -Pearl Jam
mcro...@merle.acns.nwu.edu
------- | --------
- -|- -
- - | - -
- - | - ----- Sigma Phi Epsilon
- - | - - Illinois Lambda Chapter
- -|- -
------- | --------
Mark Bijster
>My Favorite line is to the Father from a solder.
>FM: What religion are you??
>Soldier: I am an athetias. (SP)
>FM: Real??
>Soldier: YES honest to GOD!!!
One of my favourites too !
But it was a converation between *B.J.* and a soldier..
Soldier: "I don't want to go back to the front!"
BJ : "Wanna talk to the father ?"
Soldier: "I'm an atheist (sp?)"
BJ : "Really ?"
Soldier: "Swear to God.."
(Hair-splitting Inc.)
Another one:
BJ and Hawkeye enter the Swamp after a long session of surgery (sp?)..
BJ looks in the coffeepot to find a golfbal..
Hawkeye: "Don't you want it ?"
BJ : "No.. One golfbal and I'm up all night.."
Greatings, Mark
--
Mark Bijster 'No-one is perfect in this unperfect world'
ma...@sci.kun.nl -Ziggy Marley-
University of Nijmegen, The Netherlands
http://www.sci.kun.nl/cgi-bin-thalia/smoelfind?1990/markb.html
Eric Newman
Hawkeye: "Well, somebody did."
Margaret: "If I didn't hate violence so much, I'd kick you."
Hawkeye: "Would you? With high heels?"
Abigail
++ (Hair-splitting Inc.)
++ Another one:
++ BJ and Hawkeye enter the Swamp after a long session of surgery (sp?)..
++ BJ looks in the coffeepot to find a golfbal..
++ Hawkeye: "Don't you want it ?"
++ BJ : "No.. One golfbal and I'm up all night.."
Let me do some hair splitting as well then. It's BJ that enters
and Hawk that's getting up for post-op duty. I've no idea what
BJ was doing, he certainly hadn't post-op duty, since Hawk
was releaving Frank.
Abigail
--
<URL: http://www.edbo.com/abigail/> (Changed)
DERKOMAI
says:
"While I had a father you had a dad"
Gerald Vimont
>
>Mine is the episode where Hawk is real tired of the food
>
>"I've eaten a river of liver and an ocean of fish"
>
"We want something else, we want something else" everybody now - "we
want something else, we want something else"
Mystreed8
GymTex
>Frank: AIRRAID!!! AIRRAID!!!
I got a better one from Klinger: (talking about Ho-Jon) Yes, junior miss , size
nine.
Does anyone like Klinger at all???
BUzz
Guy Adams
1. BJ - Hawkeye - Charles
Charles (Drinks from his hair tonic bottle)
Hawk: Charles, your drinking your hair!
Charles: Don't be rediculus. This is 50(?) year old Scotch, you don't think
I would leave it in the orginal bottle around you ----(?)
Hawk: Eewwwee
BJ: What's wrong?
Hawk: I've been drinking from his scotch bottle.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
What happend to you?
I don't know, I think I've been slaked!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Col. Potter's Anniversay and Radar gives him a horse.
Here's the keys!
===========================================================================
++++++++ Guy and Debbie Adams
+ + Professional Square Dance Caller
+ ++++++++
+ + + + "YOU CAN DO GREAT THINGS WITH YOUR LIFE
++++++++ + IF YOU BELIEVE IN YOUR DREAMS"
+ +
++++++++ E-Mail: guya...@ix.netcom.com Voice/Fax: (815)654-1061
Homepage: http://www.geocities.com/broadway/1750
============================================================================
Tim O'Brien
>From: 5un9ra...@vms.csd.mu.edu (GymTex)
>Subject: Re: Sidney's Advice: Meaning
>Date: 18 Mar 1996 19:07:29 GMT
>In article <4iig8j$g...@newsbf02.news.aol.com>, gs...@aol.com (Gsoma) writes:
>> Ladies and Gentlemen take my advice
>> Pull down you pants and slide on the ice
>>------
>>I've never really understood the meaning.
>>
> good one
>I have a question ....Remeber when Hawkeye and B.j. had the mystery book..."the
>Rooster crows at midnight", and they had too break up the book because there
>was no incoming mail...Who ended up being the murderer of the story??
> I enjoyed Hwakeye's response:
>"I did it! I'm the murderer."
>BJ: Why did you kill the pig?
>"I killed the pig because it was going to squeal"
I don't think they ever found out. They called the author but she was too
senile to give them the correct answer and Potter proved her answer wrong at
the end of the show. The last thing that we see is Hawkeye saying that he was
the culprit.
GymTex
In article <4iig8j$g...@newsbf02.news.aol.com>, gs...@aol.com (Gsoma) writes:
> Ladies and Gentlemen take my advice
> Pull down you pants and slide on the ice
>------
>I've never really understood the meaning.
>
good one
I have a question ....Remeber when Hawkeye and B.j. had the mystery book..."the
Rooster crows at midnight", and they had too break up the book because there
was no incoming mail...Who ended up being the murderer of the story??
I enjoyed Hwakeye's response:
"I did it! I'm the murderer."
BJ: Why did you kill the pig?
"I killed the pig because it was going to squeal"
Stupidity at its finest!
Buzz
>
Laura L. Fierke
: In article <0099F555...@vms.csd.mu.edu>, 5un9ra...@vms.csd.mu.edu
: (GymTex) writes:
: >Does anyone like Klinger at all???
: >
: >
: You mean that big red bird with fuzzy pink feet?
How could you not like Klinger? Some of my favorite moments are Klingers
attempts to get out of the army! How does everyone else feel? Is it
common among M*A*S*H fans to dislike Klinger?
Laura
Mary Emily Cummins
: Does anyone like Klinger at all???
Buzz,
Used to hate him, but now that I'm watching almost every ep I'm starting
to see that occasionally, a spark of helpfulness or magnanimity can
emerge. However, sometimes he just makes me so freaking angry. His
character would never work in a more serious drama that wasn't also a
comedy (but that's what makes MASH so great, how it's a drama and.. but I
digress, sorry).
Emily
--
M. Emily Cummins, delegate to the D.C. Miscing Convention
George Washington University | BA '95, Wake Forest University
Political Science Department | "Dear Old Wake Forest,
email: cum...@gwis2.circ.gwu.edu | Thine is a Noble Name!"
WAKE FOREST DEMON DEACONS, ACC CHAMPS 1995 and 1996!!!
Tara Arndt
On 13 Mar 1996, Mystreed8 wrote:
> Frank: AIRRAID!!! AIRRAID!!!
>
>
Tara Arndt
> In article <4i6q91$g...@newsbf02.news.aol.com>, myst...@aol.com (Mystreed8) writes:
> >Frank: AIRRAID!!! AIRRAID!!!
>
>
> I got a better one from Klinger: (talking about Ho-Jon) Yes, junior miss , size
> nine.
>
during the first few seasons when he was only used as a punchline, when
he became corporal, during year eight of the season, he became a deep
character that had some good writing. Especially after he gave up being
a transvestite and they could no onger rely on him as a joke but had to
come up with meaningful dialouge. -Tara
> > BUzz > >
rayg...@vms.csd.mu.edu > >
>
>
Tara Arndt
On 17 Mar 1996, Gsoma wrote:
> Ladies and Gentlemen take my advice
> Pull down you pants and slide on the ice
> ------
> I've never really understood the meaning.
I don't think that anyone understands...nobody I've talked to anyways.
>
>
>
>
>
Tim O'Brien
>From: fier...@wfu.edu (Laura L. Fierke)
>Subject: Re: favorite MASH quotes
>Date: 19 Mar 1996 22:05:15 GMT
No I really like Klinger...One of my favorite MASH moments is when he inflated
the boat on Potter's desk and knocks Radar and Potter off their chairs. I
laugh for a couple minutes everytime I see it.
Tim O'Brien
obr...@ucla.edu
Gsoma
<Pine.A32.3.91j.96031...@homer07.u.washington.edu>, Tara
Arndt <axem...@u.washington.edu> writes:
>Yes, I am a big fan of Klinger. Although I found his personality grating
>during the first few seasons when he was only used as a punchline, when
>he became corporal, during year eight of the season,
wasn't he a corporal since after the 1st season?
Owen Smith
>
> Gsoma (gs...@aol.com) wrote:
> : In article <0099F555...@vms.csd.mu.edu>, 5un9ra...@vms.csd.mu.edu
> : (GymTex) writes:
>
> : >Does anyone like Klinger at all???
> : >
> : >
>
> : You mean that big red bird with fuzzy pink feet?
>
> How could you not like Klinger? Some of my favorite moments are Klingers
> attempts to get out of the army! How does everyone else feel? Is it
> common among M*A*S*H fans to dislike Klinger?
>
I've always liked Klinger, how he can talk so seriously about buying
garters and dresses etc.. My favorite Klinger scene was in the episode
where he was pretending to be back home. At the end, Col Potter 'gave
in' and was filling out the Sect. 8 form. He was asking all the usual
questions; birthdate, mothers maiden name, etc to which he replied
correctly. The Potter said 'rank' to which Klinger replied 'Corprol'
and the gig was up.
Owen Smith
MaryJane Greenfield
>> Pull down you pants and slide on the ice
I took it to mean, take time to relax. That they were so wrapped up in
surgery etc, that they needed to take time for themselves, whenever possible.
David Coley
ready for a great big storm and Radar and Col. Potter are talking:
Col. Potter: We...
Radar: Renforce the tent posts...
Col. Potter: A ha, Got ya. I was going to say tie down the
tent flaps.
Unfortantly this is not a direct quote from the show, but it
very close... It's my favoit line yet...
--
David Coley
david...@durhamnews.net
http://www.durhamnews.net/~ulc272
Eric Newman
latrine. Klinger demands to know the password. Frank yells, "BURSTING
BLADDER!!!" and rushes past him.
Eric Newman
ed...@intac.com
mag3
05:18:30 -0500:
He was a corporal all the way up to the last season, when he became a
sergeant. It was the episode where Hawk and BJ had to sit on the board of
promotions (as all the NCO's were paraded by them).
Regards,
Arnold.
ma...@netcom.com
Paal Naess
>In article <4inb2r$s...@eis.wfunet.wfu.edu> fier...@wfu.edu (Laura L. Fierke) writes:
>>From: fier...@wfu.edu (Laura L. Fierke)
>>Subject: Re: favorite MASH quotes
>>Date: 19 Mar 1996 22:05:15 GMT
>
>>: In article <0099F555...@vms.csd.mu.edu>, 5un9ra...@vms.csd.mu.edu
>>: (GymTex) writes:
>
>>: >Does anyone like Klinger at all???
is scheduled for an R&R, but the chopper supposed to get him,can't land
due to a storm. So he say to Klinger something like : You will have to
drive me, then! Klinger: Do you think I'm crazy!!??!! (then discovers
col. Potter still in the room:) You didn't hear that, sir!!
Bradley S. Philipson
: Arndt <axem...@u.washington.edu> writes:
: >Yes, I am a big fan of Klinger. Although I found his personality grating
: >during the first few seasons when he was only used as a punchline, when
: >he became corporal, during year eight of the season,
: wasn't he a corporal since after the 1st season?
I don't know exactly when he became a corporal, but I do not
think the character of Klinger can compare with the character of Radar.
Radar was the viewer's guide to the war. He was the wide-eyed innocent
who was seeing the war, as most viewers, from the standpoint of someone who
had never had to suffer through death and despair. The purity of the
character gave us a measuring stick to see just how awful the war was.
In addition, he was a great straight man for Hawkeye to play off of.
Klinger wasn't bad as a background character, but his initial appearance
on the show as a shameless coward made it hard to sympathize with him in
the same way. The show was never the same after Radar left.
B.P.
Mary Emily Cummins
gets her divorce papers, plans the nurses-to-triage plan, and gets a
suggested promotion from her old friend General Lyle.
At the beginning, Potter tells Margaret to make the nurses more
aggressive and useful in triage, carrying the litters, etc.
"Some of your nurses are stronger than I am." -Potter
Then Hawkeye says, "Oh? Can you give me their names?"
Em
Waker Glass
<dand...@icons.net.ca> wrote:
>
> >
>
> Frank: Stealing is much worse than lying.
>
> Margaret: YOU did both!
>
> Frank: (indignant) Well then I oughta know!
BRAVO!!!!!!!!!
Vintage Frank. You gotta love him.
.
