FUNNIEST M*A*S*H MOMENTS
Matt J. McCullar
>
> I was wondering which scenes make you laugh
> the most?
> 2. "Dear Sigmund" Col. Potter and Radar
> sitting in jeep (Potter, having fallen victim
> to BJ's practical jokes, pulls the binoculars
> away from his eyes to reveal black rings around
> them. Radar falls off the jeep, laughing. I bet
> i've seen these episodes 5 times each, but
> they still kill me.
Great idea, Jeff! I happened to be collecting my funniest moments over
the past couple of days.
Mine:
* Klinger trying to hang-glide to freedom. "A big red bird with fuzzy
pink feet."
* After Hawkeye is blinded trying to light a stove, Potter hollers at
Radar to get an eye specialist to the unit ASAP. Radar really goes to
town on the phone: "Now, look, you dumb clerk, this is General Walter
O'Reilly! Three stars and REAL MAD!!!!"
* "Are you going to the cockroach races?"
"Nah. People only go to those when they wanna see a cockroach
crash."
* "I really don't think either of you did it. Officers don't steal."
"We don't go to the toilet, either. We just explode when we're
fifty."
* Klinger, after Major Burns calls him a pervert: "PERVERT!? Who bit
WHO, Major?"
* Hawkeye walking naked into the mess tent.
* Klinger trying to smuggle beef across camp in a wheelchair. "May I
present Private Biff Wellington."
* Radar mailing a jeep home. "It's an old army bit. I wouldn't be
surprised if one of Washington's men at Valley Forge tried to mail a
horse home one piece at a time."
* Adam's Ribs. When Radar finally gets through on the phone, he can't
believe it! "Hello, Dearborn Station? (pause) YEAH!? Hold on!!!!"
* Radar taking his high-school exam from Henry Blake. "The Gettysburg
Address...."
* One of the funniest episodes overall is where they show the film "My
Darling Clementine" in the mess tent.
Matt J. McCullar
Arlington, TX
Matt J. McCullar
>
> Every comical moment with Henry Blake.
My favorite Henry Blake bits:
* He's lining up a golf swing when Klinger hollers at him from a
distance. "COLONEL BLAKE!!!" WWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!
* "I just lost a temporary filling and every time I suck air it's a new
adventure in pain."
* When asked by a lady ham radio operator if he'd "like my recipe for
Never-Fail Cornbread?" He repies, "Lady, you ARE a piece of cornbread!"
* Klinger wants to go home because he claims that his mother is
pregnant. Nonplussed, Henry pulls out a file folder and rattles off all
the other weird family problems that Klinger's complained about
previously. "Here's an oldie but a goodie. Half of the family dying,
other half pregnant."
Jeff Charlton
Flipped at Dawn"
Gen Sreele(inspecting the troops, has made his
way to Radar.) "Ah,Non-coms, the backbone of
the service, where are you from,son?"
Radar: "Iowa,sir."
Steele: 'NO TALKING IN THE RANKS!!"
sitting in jeep (Potter, having fallen victim
to BJ's practical jokes, pulls the binoculars
away from his eyes to reveal black rings around
them. Radar falls off the jeep, laughing. I bet
i've seen these episodes 5 times each, but
they still kill me.
"Time is the fire in which we burn."
Krazykat72
Elisabeth Wickeri
(planning a surprise party) and so fr. mulcahy is charged with distracting
him. klinger (?) leaves the dressing room and mulcahy is by himself. then
potter comes in:
mulcahy: ah, colonel.... we were just talking about you.
potter: (looking around) padre, you're in a room by yourself!
mulcahy: that's why i'm so happy to see you.
unfortunately, i think this scene is cut in syndicated versions.
--liz.
========
~when it's dark enough you can see the stars.
~always keep your bowler on in times of stress and watch out for
diabolical masterminds.
On Fri, 4 Dec 1998, Matt J. McCullar wrote:
> Jeff Charlton wrote:
> >
> > I was wondering which scenes make you laugh
> > the most?
>
> > 2. "Dear Sigmund" Col. Potter and Radar
> > sitting in jeep (Potter, having fallen victim
> > to BJ's practical jokes, pulls the binoculars
> > away from his eyes to reveal black rings around
> > them. Radar falls off the jeep, laughing. I bet
> > i've seen these episodes 5 times each, but
> > they still kill me.
>
Surf7000
Mikael Uhlin
Hawkeye and Trapper get their monkey costumes and they're wearing them when
Frank reluctantly has to ask them to operate on his hernia. There are a lot
of other hilarious scenes with several of the characters; Blake sunbathing,
Mulcahy washing his feet, Klinger writing to general Mitchell and Radar
acting as a colonel and trying to redirect the fire of the camp.
Hawkeye finally has to operate Frank in the OR and a lot of Frank's
comments are very funny: "The maid is lying!", "Did you think the principle
saw us?" and calling Blake and Margaret father and mother respectivelly.
A Korean woman is suddenly brought in, giving birth to a child just as
Frank wakes up from the sleep. He and Margaret (!) both looks so happy and
proud when Hawkeye says they've just got a baby hernia!
Bertram Bourdrez
>I was wondering which scenes make you laugh
>the most?
>2. "Dear Sigmund" Col. Potter and Radar
>sitting in jeep (Potter, having fallen victim
>to BJ's practical jokes, pulls the binoculars
>away from his eyes to reveal black rings around
>them. Radar falls off the jeep, laughing. I bet
>i've seen these episodes 5 times each, but
>they still kill me.
Really cute how Gary Burghoff was able to pull that one off. The fun
of this scene is in Radar's laughing, but Radar isn't the guy to laugh
straight in his CO's face. He did it really well.
Bert
---
Bertram Bourdrez (Bour...@open.net)
Jeff Charlton
one, I thought maybe I should have checked
the FAQ's beforehand. Thanks everyone for
your cooperation!! Take care.
George Hiebert
The Shadow
George Hiebert wrote in message :
>Any scene where Henry's drunk. Also, any scene where Frank's drunk.
Henry drunk ?
That's a lot of scenes !
Paul Schnebelen
* Klinger taking the entrance exam for West Point.
Klinger: "You mean I failed?"
Potter: "That's the first thing you've gotten right all day."
* Klinger threatening to turn himself into a human pyre... and finding
out he's really flammable: "Hey - Who put gasoline in my gasoline?"
* Father Mulcahy substituting for the dummy "Little Mac":
Potter: Let go of the strecher.
Mulcahy: Just as soon as we land!
Potter: Father, I'm not an angel!
* Winchester's description of the scene of the aftermath of "Little
Mac's" destruction: " A bird here, a flower there... pieces of dummy
everywhere!"
* And finally, Winchester's impassioned plea to his father to leave the
4077th:
"I'm going to put this as bluntly and succintly as possible... (pulls a
rubber chicken out of his tea kettle)... GET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE!"
--
Paul
"Monorail one, clear for dispatch"
Matt J. McCullar
> * And finally, Winchester's impassioned plea to his father to leave the
> 4077th:
> "I'm going to put this as bluntly and succintly as possible... (pulls a
> rubber chicken out of his tea kettle)... GET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE!"
For years reruns were available here only on 16mm film, and the image
looked quite muddied. It was years before I realized that was a rubber
chicken Winchester had pulled out of the tea kettle!
I was watching one of my videotapes this morning and it happened to have
the episode where Winchester gets a batch of newspapers from home while
no one else does. He's about to drive off in a jeep that's attached to
the mess tent, until he spots Col. Potter standing in front of the jeep
with a "Don't even THINK it!" look on his face!!! Potter slowly shakes
his head.
COL. POTTER SHOOTING HIS JEEP!!!!!!!! That goes on the goodie reel, for
sure.
Another funny moment springs to mind: the Turkish officer who wants to
shoot a soldier because he thinks it was a self-inflicted wound.
Hawkeye and Winchester drag him outside. BANG!!!! They drag the
officer back inside. "There, see? THAT'S what a self-inflicted wound
looks like!!!"
Matt J. McCullar
>
> I thought of another one if this one has been
> listed already, my apologies. The epsode
> where Klinger in yet ANOTHER attempt to get
> discharged, is pretending to be civilian. Potter,
> playing along has Klinger in his office going
> over the preliminary paperwork for a discharge.
> P,"Place of birth?"
> K, "Toledo, Ohio."
> P, Mother's maiden name?"
> K,"Abudelee, that's with two e's."
> P,"Rank?"
> K, "Corporal"
> P, " A HA!! GOTCHA SOLDIER!!""
You just reminded me of another scene that's since been cut out of
reruns. Klinger thought he could get out if he pretended to be
depressed all the time. When Potter calls him into his office and signs
the release papers, Klinger celebrates by whooping and shouting and
cheering and dancing all over the room. Then he realizes what he's
done: "I blew it, didn't I?" Potter responds by tearing up the papers.
Matt J. McCullar
John J. DeFalco
up:
* In the epsiode where Corp. Elmo Hittalski (sp?) [played by Len
Matuzak(?)] BJ, Hawkeye and Klinger bust into post-op to stop him from
punching out Winchester after finding out he wasn't promoted. They
procede to explain that he was left off the list but was on the
supplemental list (obviously not true) but along with the new rank is
a transfer home. They present him with his new jacket with sgt.'s rank
and BJ says:
"Three stripes and you're out"
* The other one was when Hawkeye is pay officer and Kilnger's goat
eats the payroll. Hawkeye gets the entire camp drunk in the swamp to
stop them from killing him when BJ comes home to find them. He starts
to kick everyone out and has two great lines on one wasted guy as he
picks him up off the floor:
"Hey, hey! Don't you have a bunk of your own to sleep under??"
followed by
"Do us all a favor and pick up some mints on the way home"
as he kicks him out the door!
Classic stuff.
Buck Rojerz
personal items from camp personnel. The scene is where Col. Blake is
conducting a tent-to-tent search for the Ill-gotten-booty (or the ill booten
gotty). Anyway, it happens in the swamp where Blake gets a face full of soot
from the stove pipe. The laugh that results, approaches 25 seconds and always
gets me. It could be in contention for one of the longest laughs in the
series. Hawkeye's laugh is very infectious.
Buck
Dukette89
Nonplussed, Henry pulls out a file folder and rattles off all the other weird
family problems that Klinger's complained about previously. "Here's an oldie
but a goodie. Half of the family dying, other half pregnant.">
I think Klinger then bows his head and says, "I don't deserve to be in the
army, sir!" It always cracks me up.
.·´¯`·.¸¸.·´¯ )>¥<( ¯`·.,¸¸.·´¯`·.¸¸.-->¥<--.¸¸.·´¯`·.¸¸.·´¯ )>¥<(
Mary in Pittsburgh
Bertram Bourdrez
* The "un-wedding" of Winchester
or
* Hawk and Margaret in stitches trying to check on the medical
suplies... M: "Sulfa?" H: "Plenty" M:"Sulfa so good"
M: "Morfine?" H: "No thank you, I've got enough already"
H: "Digitalis?" M: "No, I'm trying to keep it a secret"
---
Bertram Bourdrez (Bour...@open.net)
George Hiebert
Ya I know. I was stating that those are funny scenes, not asking a
question.
Barton Frink
leg they stop half-way through. It's hard to explain without ruining the
joke.
Final Scene in Officer for a Day with the misdirected three piece suit.
All the scenes after his death attempt-"Big boom"
Barton Frink
He being Henry
Also the episode where Sherman tells them to be nice to Frank, Frank at
the poker game and the bar while drunk.
Frank being cartoonishly evil accusing all Koreans of being spies.
The Shadow
>> George Hiebert wrote in message :
>> >Any scene where Henry's drunk. Also, any scene where Frank's drunk.
>The Shadow replied :
>> Henry drunk ?
>> That's a lot of scenes !
George Hiebert wrote :
>Ya I know. I was stating that those are funny scenes, not asking a
>question.
I'm sorry, I'm finishing off a bottle myself...grape Nehi.
Jeff Charlton
Henry (to Hawk and Trap) for his going party
"Ok, SKEW me!", and "...a lot of bark came off
old no. 3!"
Barton Frink
and the ending when he drives Radar back.
When Frank gets into a tank and destroys the camp and Potter shooting a
destroyed jeep
Jeff Charlton
listed already, my apologies. The epsode
where Klinger in yet ANOTHER attempt to get
discharged, is pretending to be civilian. Potter,
playing along has Klinger in his office going
over the preliminary paperwork for a discharge.
P,"Place of birth?"
K, "Toledo, Ohio."
P, Mother's maiden name?"
K,"Abudelee, that's with two e's."
P,"Rank?"
K, "Corporal"
P, " A HA!! GOTCHA SOLDIER!!""
"Time is the fire in which we burn."
George Hiebert
at the same time . Hotlips counts.."one", Frank.."two", Hawk and Trap
listening in on the other phone.."three".
Matt J. McCullar
> The entire Tuttle episode, of course, one joke, one brilliant joke, set
> up perfectly.
It's hilarious and will be enjoyed by people 100 years from now. If it
isn't edited out of existence first. One running gag has been decimated
by crummy editing. Radar had convinced Henry Blake that Blake had
actually eaten breakfast with Capt. Tuttle in the mess tent, and this is
brought up several times in the episode.
Audrey Meusel
In "Alcoholics Unanimous" (season 2 or 3), Frank has declared
prohibition. Hawk, Trapper & Margaret are soused in the Swamp and Frank
comes in and they bait him. When he leaves, Hot Lips says "Who was
that?"
In "No Sweat", Potter's discussion about Margaret's rash over the PA
In "Eye for a Tooth" - the shower scene and immed. following in Swamp,
with the nurses, nudity and popcorn (nice touch). Also, the whole
episode with the escalation of pranks, but particularly, Margaret
putting 12 spoons of sugar in Hawk's coffee and the expression on
Charles' face.
The entire Tuttle episode, of course, one joke, one brilliant joke, set
up perfectly.
Dr. Winston
I forget the episode name, but at the begining of the episode Hawkeye
and BJ are gone on leave and Charles is alone in the swamp. He is
conducting and lip syncing along with a recording of a very high and
florid soprano solo. Just the sight of Charles singing soprano makes me
giggle....
Matt J. McCullar
(Talking on the phone): "This is Colonel Sherman Potter. Who's this?
(pause) THAT was Major Winchester. (another pause) I know that, but
he's a good doctor."
Potter gets on the P.A. system, and he's mad. "Those who can walk will
immediately assemble in the mess tent. Those who cannot walk, will
assemble five minutes earlier." He puts the microphone down, then
changes his mind and picks it up again: "Same to you."
Buck Rojerz
I just now posted that very sound bite on alt.binaries.sounds.tv.
It IS a good one, to be sure.
Subject: Mash Tv - Charles lipsyncs - screechy jeep brakes screech.rm
Buck
Gerard
ncc1...@webtv.net (Jeff Charlton) wrote:
I read EVERYONE'S.
Here are mine:
Radar getting a tattoo.
Radar: [to Hawkege and BJ] What do you like better, snakes or tigers?
Hawkeye: Depends on the sauce
One Dear Sigmund episode:
Bj askes Sidney to yell air raid. Frank who has been digging his air raid
shelter all episode, leaps out of bed screams, "Air Raid!, Air Raid!" He
then leaps into a foxhole full of water.
Any Col. Flagg episode, jeez how could all of you forget those?
examples-
Col. Potter: why are you dressed like an Italian usher?
Col. Flagg dictating to Radar a ridiculous letter to the CIA . . . "signed
your loving son, Queen Victoria"
Col. Flagg trying to find Hotlips who is missing episode
-Col. Flagg ordering "gifts" something like: . . . "tarantula and box of
scorpions. Corporal, if you can't get those find two snakes and a rat.
-Col. Potter: What are you going to do with those?
-Col. Flagg: They're a gift for a friend.
BJ's first episode (Part 1)
Hawkeye: You know what you are, you're a [sorry forgot the Korean word]. A
. . .
Radar: [tucking at Hawkeye's sleeve] You just called him an umbrella!
whoops go to go. will post more of my faves later.
jimmy mills
the Adams Ribs episode. Where Hawkeye goes crazy after being told that
they were having liver or fish for the 11th straight day boy that was
LOL funny
Jimmy Mills
Bertram Bourdrez
>One Dear Sigmund episode:
>Bj askes Sidney to yell air raid. Frank who has been digging his air raid
>shelter all episode, leaps out of bed screams, "Air Raid!, Air Raid!" He
>then leaps into a foxhole full of water.
ROFL... one of the best Frank-stupidities (sometimes they're too
stupid to be believable but this one was just right...)
Or this one:
Klinger presenting himself to Col. Potter for the first time:
"Colonel Potter, Sir. I'm section eight, head to toe." He proceeds to
list some of his most weird schemes and ends with "I'm nuts. I should
be out."
Or the 'gun-speech' by Hawk:
"I will not carry a gun, Frank. When I got thrown into this war I had
a clear understanding with the Pentagon: no guns. I'll carry your
books, I'll carry a torch, I'll carry a tune, I'll carry on, carry
over, carry forward, Cary Grant, cash and carry, carry me back to Old
Virginia, I'll even 'hari-kari' if you show me how, but I will not
carry a gun!"
And some Potterisms are really funny, like the ones in "April Fools":
"Pierce, are you deef? I'm giving your hijinks the heave-ho,
post-haste! I'm the boss here! I can do that!"
Later in the same ep.: "What in the name of Marco BLESSED Polo is
going on here?"
Elisabeth Wickeri
flagg: where's hoolihan?
b.j.: i think it's near dublin.
--liz.
========
~when it's dark enough you can see the stars.
~always keep your bowler on in times of stress and watch out for
diabolical masterminds.
On 8 Dec 1998, Gerard wrote:
> In article <17857-36...@newsd-231.iap.bryant.webtv.net>,
> ncc1...@webtv.net (Jeff Charlton) wrote:
>
> I read EVERYONE'S.
>
> Here are mine:
>
> Radar getting a tattoo.
> Radar: [to Hawkege and BJ] What do you like better, snakes or tigers?
> Hawkeye: Depends on the sauce
>
> One Dear Sigmund episode:
> Bj askes Sidney to yell air raid. Frank who has been digging his air raid
> shelter all episode, leaps out of bed screams, "Air Raid!, Air Raid!" He
> then leaps into a foxhole full of water.
>
Matt J. McCullar
> Hmm. Let's try that again, newsreader software. :-/ What I was trying
> to remember was the quick visit of MacArthur to the camp, capped by
> Klinger's salute-winning "Statue of Liberty" performance.
They showed the episode of Trapper's pin-stripe-suit-of-all-time last
night! God, I still laugh at this one! I wonder where that suit is
now?
WAYNE MCMILLAN
a visit by General McArthur. When one of McArthur's aides was briefing
them, Frank said "It might be of interest to the General that Margaret's
father served under him in the cavalry." Hawkeye then responds, "Margaret's
father was a horse?" After which Trapper say, "That's it, the engagement's
off!"
Cheers,
Wayne
Mary Jane Greenfield
Burns falls into a hole that they were digging for a new litrine (i believe). And Klinger, looks in and says "Sir, that is not open for business yet." Actually that whole 2-part episode was classic..
tho...@spam.ham
> Or this one:
> Klinger presenting himself to Col. Potter for the first time:
> "Colonel Potter, Sir. I'm section eight, head to toe." He proceeds to
> list some of his most weird schemes and ends with "I'm nuts. I should
> be out."
And the facial expressions can be as funny as the lines. Klinger
marches in, smartly salutes as he begins with "Colonel Potter, Sir!"
and holds the salute as he continues with "Corporal Klinger. I'm
section eight, head to toe. I'm wearing a Warner bra. I play with
dolls. My last wish: to be buried in my mother's wedding dress.
I'm nuts. I should be out." Potter then returns the salute and
adds "Horse hockey!", at which point Klinger's face shows that
incredulous look.
Bryce Wray
MENTS
"MacArthur"?
______________________________________________________________________
Delete "usenet.filter." (anti-spam) from my address to send me e-mail.
Bryce Wray
Hmm. Let's try that again, newsreader software. :-/ What I was trying
to remember was the quick visit of MacArthur to the camp, capped by
Klinger's salute-winning "Statue of Liberty" performance.
Now, post this sucker, dude.
Mike & the Mrs
locker.
Margaret: ..... these perverts are stealing my underwear
Charles: Probably some admireror who has difficulty expressing himself
verbally.
Christine
Robert Wright
>They showed the episode of Trapper's pin-stripe-suit-of-all-time last
>night! God, I still laugh at this one! I wonder where that suit is
>now?
I went to a costume/trivia party to watch the final episode when it originally
aired. My sister, who is quite a seamstress, made a pinstripe suit just for
the occasion- yes, with the pinstripes going the wrong way! Needless to say,
it was a hands down winner for best costume. I don't think the suit has
survived my many relocations since then, but I have some photos.
Elisabeth Wickeri
and explains what happened to klinger and charles.
--liz.
Nancy Temple
--
--Nancy
ICQ #17594535
******************************************************************
* We have enough youth, how about a fountain of smart? *
* If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy? *
******************************************************************
Bryce Wray wrote in message <74n7lf$jjt$4...@news-2.news.gte.net>...
Bryce Wray
> Hey Bryce from the NYPD Blue newsgroup! Welcome to our group of MASH fanatics!
>
Bryce Wray
the phone -- can't remember who, perhaps a supply sergeant who was
sitting on something the 4077th desperately needed -- and it went
something like this.
Radar: He told me to do something but I think it's physically impossible.
Hawkeye gets on the phone and tries to pull rank on the guy only to get,
apparently, the same remark and the conversation ends pretty quickly.
Radar: What'd he say?
Hawkeye: You're right. This guy has a lot to learn about anatomy.
a a
Henry" I gave a discharge to a sheep"
Hawkeye" He flew home on Bo-peep airlnes"
PAUL GADZIKOWSKI
: my all time favorite moment.....the lost lamb
: Henry" I gave a discharge to a sheep"
: Hawkeye" He flew home on Bo-peep airlnes"
"I have Command on my tail! And a hospital full of Greeks who are waiting
for a lamb who is on a plane, on his way to Iowa, to become RADAR'S LITTLE
BROTHER!"
--
http://members.iglou.com/scarfman - DOCTOR WHO, STAR
Paul Gadzikowski TREK, BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER and M*A*S*H fanfiction -
Bedivere's Round Table - Cartoons - Archy the Cockroach
scar...@iglou.com - Mostly text-only easy-to-download files -
NEW 12/11/98: WHO/TNG/BUFFY crossover Chapter 3
That was Zen. This is Tao.
Matt J. McCullar
Igor pulls the trigger on the howitzer, and knocks the bugle out of
Radar's mouth! I nearly break my ribs from laughing at this one.
Matt J. McCullar
George Hiebert
>
> a a (isu_r...@webtv.net) wrote:
> : my all time favorite moment.....the lost lamb
> : Henry" I gave a discharge to a sheep"
> : Hawkeye" He flew home on Bo-peep airlnes"
>
> "I have Command on my tail! And a hospital full of Greeks who are waiting
> for a lamb who is on a plane, on his way to Iowa, to become RADAR'S LITTLE
> BROTHER!"
"He can sleep in your room."
"Your pants'll just fit him."