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fav lines, by character

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LTterp

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Mar 28, 2002, 1:33:04 PM3/28/02
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Just thinking fondly of some of my favorite lines, by character:


Hawkeye: anything related to Army abbreviations, like "Pack all your troubles
in your COM-SERV-PAK and smile, smile, smile...." or "You're talking to Hawkeye
Pierce, aggravated DOC-SURG", or "I don't care if he heard it from
NIN-COM-POOP, the shooting has stopped".

Trapper: "In my grammar school, on graham cracker day, I was elected crumb
boy" (probably my all time fav MASH line)

Hot Lips: "There's pudd---inng in the pill---ow!!!", and also when she tells
Frank that the cook is fixing him pork chops "just like you like them, with
extra fat" (I love how she delivers this line LOL). Loved Loretta in the early
years, she was a perfect Hot Lips.

Henry: "You're always wrong, Frank, that's what's so right about you!" and
most any scene with Burghoff.

Radar: "Its not oral, is it?" (Henry's thermometer)

Frank: anything on the order of "nerts", "You guyyyys", "I don't chew my
cabbage twice" "there's your lounge lizard at war" etc. a whole list of
Frankisms could be inserted here. Perhaps we can make a list of Frankisms for
the FAQ.

Potter: All the "Potterisms" listed on the FAQ, "Horse Hockey" being the most
famous, but I also like "mule muffins".

BJ: As Jay would say, "this space intentionally left blank".<wink>

Charles: The time that he said he didn't want anyone to think he was generous,
or, even worse, amiable. (I forget the exact wording).

Klinger: "Up, sir"

Enjoy!!

Linda T.

MOFTAP

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Mar 28, 2002, 1:49:18 PM3/28/02
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This Hawkeye line always makes me laugh. In the O.R., Frank is bemoaning the
fact that all Hawkeye talks about is sex.

Frank: Sex, sex, sex ...
Hawkeye (singing): ... the boys are marching.

Becca

Webshrink

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Mar 28, 2002, 2:16:54 PM3/28/02
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Trapper: "You don't know me, I followed you home from the movies"

HotLips: "I'm not so think as you drunk I am" and "Go salute yourself"

Henry: "Boy just once I'd like to look up and find myself gone."

Hawk: "I'll fight to the death for your right to confuse me."

Radar: "It's an anathesa, enthanesia, it's the stuff that make you go to
sleep" and "Gin, Vodka and Scotch, and for your convenience all in the same
bottle"

Frank: "Truce, last time you said that I found peanut butter in my
stethascope"

Flagg: "After tonight every kid in America will wish he were me"

Klinger:"If my dog had a face like yours I'd shave it's butt and teach it to
walk backwards"

Potter: Any Potterism, but he also had some good ones in the General Flipped
at Dawn when he played Gen Bartford Hamilton Steele.

:)Webshrink


AOHELL actually

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Mar 28, 2002, 6:51:40 PM3/28/02
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One of my favs is from Rainbow Bridge.

Frank: He's R.E.D.
Hawkeye: Frank, the R.E.D spells better than Y.O.U.do.

An ep that doesn't get much time here but one of my favs.

Eddie
======================================
If I want to chew the fat, I'll eat a sandwich.

Abbedd4

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Mar 28, 2002, 7:19:45 PM3/28/02
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Frank:Why does everybody take an instant dislike to me?

Trapper:Saves time Frank

TheBab5Kat

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Mar 28, 2002, 7:25:47 PM3/28/02
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>Frank:Why does everybody take an instant dislike to me?
>
>Trapper:Saves time Frank
>

GREAT line!!!


Way2rick

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Mar 28, 2002, 7:55:28 PM3/28/02
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*Favorite Hot Lips line:

Hot Lips: Oww! What was that?

Hawk: Load of B1. Get you on your feet again.

Hot Lips: ...And I didn't get you anything...

*A favorite Trapper line:

Hiya, Chuckles!

*Favorite Henry line:

Radar: They're hunting socks, sir.

Henry: At this hour?!

*Favorite Potter line:

Potter: G-get up Radar... You'll g-, you'll get dirt in your nose.

*My favorite lines from Frank and from Hawkeye come out of this scene where
Frank is having his ranks count off by twos.

Radar: Are you one?

Hawkeye: (effeminate pose) Yes, are you?

Frank: That amuses me...not.

*favorite Klinger line:

Flagg: Hey. Up close you're a guy.

Klinger: Far away, too.

*and finally my favorite Flagg line comes from a scene that actually delivers a
pretty funny B.J. moment as well.

Flagg: You were extremely jealous of her engagement. You were furious at her.
You were capable of murder.

Hawkeye: That's right, so you hit her over the head with a blunt instrument.

B.J. A saxophone.

Hawkeye: Then you hypnotized her and told her she was Johnny Ray.

B.J. Then you made her look like Johnny.

Hawkeye: The rest is obvious. You stuffed her in a jeep, sent her to Vegas
and now she's playing two shows a night at the Sands.

B.J. Three on Saturday.

Flagg: There's only one problem with that theory.

Hawkeye: Only one? I mean, really?

Flagg: They don't do three shows Saturday night at the Sands.

Hawkeye: How do you know?

Flagg: I was a showgirl for six weeks.

..alright. That oughta be enough bandwidth for now.

Rick

Barrie

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Mar 29, 2002, 1:26:01 AM3/29/02
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>
>Hawkeye: anything related to Army abbreviations, like "Pack all your
>troubles
>in your COM-SERV-PAK and smile, smile, smile...." or "You're talking to
>Hawkeye
>Pierce, aggravated DOC-SURG", or "I don't care if he heard it from
>NIN-COM-POOP, the shooting has stopped".

In that vein, how 'bout: "Father Mulcahy, this is Lt. Pak, R.O.K. Lt.Pak, this
is Father Mulcahy, G.O.D." I know I messed up the wording a bit, but I haven't
seen that episode in a while.

Abyssinia,
Barrie


"All I know is what they taught me at command school. There are certain rules
about a war and rule number one is young men die. And rule number two is
doctors can't change rule number one." -- Lt. Col. Henry Blake

tho...@antispam.ham

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Mar 29, 2002, 2:14:56 AM3/29/02
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> *Favorite Henry line:
>
> Radar: They're hunting socks, sir.
>
> Henry: At this hour?!

Followed by a great Mulcahy line:

"I think I'll go sleep in the nurses' tent. <brief pause while
look of horror develops on his face> What am I saying?!"

Webshrink

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Mar 29, 2002, 8:39:06 AM3/29/02
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Last night had a good one:

Mulcahy: I found myself at the receiving end of a rather ardent embrace.
Hawk: What?
Mulcahy: She hugged the stuffings out of me!
Mulcahy: Hawkeye, this is no laughing matter!
Hawk: Sorry Father, I just don't see you as a love'm and leave'm kind of
guy.

:)Webshrink


Dwayer

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Mar 29, 2002, 12:11:59 PM3/29/02
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A couple of favorites of mine:

Henry (to Hawkeye): Did you really call a 3 star general a
Nin-Com-Pac?

and

Frank: I -do- have oak leaves on my shoulder.
Henry: And I've got dimples on my butt!

Cheers,
Will
--
****
"If people don't know what you're doing,
They don't know what you're doing wrong."
--Sir Arnold Robinson, _Yes, Minister_

carli

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Mar 29, 2002, 4:17:10 PM3/29/02
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My favorite all time line, screamed out by Margaret:

Pioneer Aviation! Pioneer Aviation!

Mibbitmaker

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Mar 29, 2002, 11:31:45 PM3/29/02
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Among too many favorites to single out(but some I've typed here too many times
already! ;-)

HAWKEYE: (re Flagg) If there were more men like you there'd be less men like
you.

FRANK: You...GUYS!
HAWK: We are not!

FRANK(looking at the big picture of MacArthur and the little one of Truman):
Well, that's about the size of it I guess.

(a more serious one)
TRAPPER: People don't just up and disappear.
RADAR: What, in a war?

BJ: ...but I know a geisha house where you can get a minor Houlihan.

BJ(AGAIN): That's because we don't have any real poo.

CEW: ...we'll be performing surgery in Levinworth! ...My God, that's in Kansas!

CaptJosh

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Mar 30, 2002, 2:51:52 AM3/30/02
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Come on, everyone. You're forgetting on of Potter's best lines ever.

(sophie pees or craps on the floor of potter's office and potter slips)
FRANK: That's disgusting!
SHERMAN: Son, to me, that's a tiptoe through the tulips.

And of course:

"BUFFALO BAGELS!"

"LTterp" <ltt...@aol.com> wrote in message
news:20020328133304...@mb-dd.aol.com...

Barrie

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Mar 30, 2002, 2:49:16 AM3/30/02
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One from Trapper, from The Consultant: "Hmm. Feels like it's going to martini."

Hogne B. Pettersen

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Mar 30, 2002, 5:30:39 AM3/30/02
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mibbi...@aol.com (Mibbitmaker) writes:

|
| CEW: ...we'll be performing surgery in Levinworth! ...My God, that's in
| Kansas!
|

More CEW:

"I'd rather share my tooth brush with a democrat"

Patient: "Does it mean I can go back living in Baltimore?"
CEW: "You can go back to Baltimore, yes. As for living in Baltimore, that's a
contradiction in terms."

"I never that I would miss Radar. I was right of course"

To BJ: "Do you miss your partner in pervertion?"
--
-Elf-
NEW MAIL: e...@elfworld.org URL: http://www.mo.himolde.no/~elf/ IRC: Elf/Alv

Linux user: "Ok, the GUI sucks, but see how fast and reliable it is?"
Windows user: "It hasn't crashed since yesterday!"
Mac-user: "Look, how it matches the furniture!"

tho...@antispam.ham

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Mar 30, 2002, 6:28:38 AM3/30/02
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Mibbitmaker writes:

> CEW: ...we'll be performing surgery in Levinworth! ...My God, that's in Kansas!

You mean Leavenworth?

LTterp

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Mar 30, 2002, 7:31:03 AM3/30/02
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Just thought of another one:

Hawkeye: Your mind is in the gutter!!

Trapper: I can't help it, its attached to my body.


Linda T.

CaptJosh

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Mar 30, 2002, 2:18:22 PM3/30/02
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"LTterp" <ltt...@aol.com> wrote in message
news:20020330073103...@mb-cr.aol.com...
My sister used to say "Get your mind out of the gutter. Come down to the
sewer with me instead."


JayZ755

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Apr 1, 2002, 9:01:43 PM4/1/02
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How about the one line Henry had about the parakeet that smashed its bill?
Anyone remember how that went?

Jay

This space intentionally left blank.

Victor Beacham

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Apr 2, 2002, 9:30:34 PM4/2/02
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JayZ755 wrote in message <20020401210143...@mb-fs.aol.com>...

No, but Radar had a hamster once that died....

V.B.


Sir Rooke

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Apr 2, 2002, 9:44:37 PM4/2/02
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**during Klinger's marriage via radio**

Henry: Lady, I'm a doctor trying to marry a soldier in the middle of a war!
Lady: That's SICK!

George Perry

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Apr 2, 2002, 9:46:14 PM4/2/02
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"Victor Beacham" <vbea...@look.ca> wrote in message
news:uakqbmm...@corp.supernews.com...
WAHHHHHH!

and i am sure it was cute and everyone had to bend over backwards to accept
Radar acting like a toddler.
Luckily i have never served in a war, but i am guessing that Radar would be
"dealt with" rather quickly under such circumstances.

Was Radar a metaphor for "back home"? Was Radar the predecessor to Corky
from that really bad Sunday night show on ABC? Radar was far more bizarre a
personality than Klinger.

"Excuse me during this incoming, but I must go feed my bunny rabbits."

Wouldn't his personal "petting zoo" (if you know what i mean) make the MASH
a little less mobile? On top of all that, Radar forged more documents than
the Nixon administration and Enron combined, but Frank never went after that
little sobbing weasle.


Janie

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Apr 2, 2002, 9:44:20 PM4/2/02
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I always loved that line... the way Henry said he smashed his little bill...
can't remember which ep it is though.... but it is in the first season.

I'm sure someone here knows.....

Sir Rooke

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Apr 2, 2002, 9:47:58 PM4/2/02
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Henry was explaining it to Gen. Steele ["3 e's, not all in a row"]; after
Henry explained that the parakeet had smashed its bill, Steele replied,
"Good! I hate birds."


"JayZ755" <jay...@aol.comspamaway> wrote in message
news:20020401210143...@mb-fs.aol.com...

Brad

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Apr 2, 2002, 11:45:02 PM4/2/02
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"Sir Rooke" <sirrook...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:p0uq8.158931$ZR2....@rwcrnsc52.ops.asp.att.net...

Does anyone else think that the voice of the lady sounds the same as the
girl who sent Radar the Dear John recording in "Love Story"?

--
Brad


Sir Rooke

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Apr 3, 2002, 11:24:24 PM4/3/02
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Nameless Naval Attache: PUNT!

and the equally classic

Nameless Naval Attache: The Army? What do they know; they just fumbled on
their own 1-yard line!


Sir Rooke

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Apr 3, 2002, 11:25:30 PM4/3/02
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Gen "Iron Guts" Kelly's Aide: And Rockets! I want PLENTY of rockets!!


George Perry

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Apr 4, 2002, 11:29:07 AM4/4/02
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Henry: "Pierce, you're the limit!"

Maybe not the best line, but Maclean sold it SO well. The more i watch the
earlier episodes, the more i apreciate him.


Way2rick

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Apr 4, 2002, 7:50:54 PM4/4/02
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>Gen "Iron Guts" Kelly's Aide: And Rockets! I want PLENTY of rockets!!

hahaha. yes, I like that one too.

Rick

Andrew Smith

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Apr 4, 2002, 8:56:44 PM4/4/02
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Sir Rooke wrote:

> Gen "Iron Guts" Kelly's Aide: And Rockets! I want PLENTY of rockets!!
>


Hawkeye: "That would be for the Red Glare..."


Showtime

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Apr 5, 2002, 5:23:13 PM4/5/02
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Hot Lips: "Isn't that Frank's bag?"

Trapper: "I thought you were Frank's bag"

LTterp <ltt...@aol.com> wrote in message

Hogne B. Pettersen

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Apr 7, 2002, 5:18:11 AM4/7/02
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Trapper's line in the pilot after he and Hawk has established that everyone in
camp has their main focus on sex:

"Except those base ball perverts"

H

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Apr 14, 2002, 4:55:18 PM4/14/02
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Trapper: Klinger's not a pervert.

Hot lips: How do you know?

Trapper: Because I 'm one and he's never at the meetings.

.H.

Hogne B. Pettersen wrote in message ...

Mibbitmaker

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Apr 14, 2002, 2:27:32 PM4/14/02
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(Someone, I forget who): "...would be delighted to know Maj. Houlihan's father
served under Gen. MacArthur."

HAWKEYE: "Her father was a horse, did you know that?"

TRAPPER(to Margaret): "The engagement's off!"

Brad Filippone

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Apr 14, 2002, 9:39:06 PM4/14/02
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Margaret: I have an announcement!

Hawkeye: Major Houlihan and I are getting married.

Frank: That's outragious!

Margaret: We are not!

Hawkeye: Then go ahead and have the baby without me.

The Other Brad

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