Review of The Toronto Show
Kitana
with it.
Before I spend the rest of this weekend studying for the GREs, writing
draft copies of applications, and trying not to obsess over The Future
while simultaneously writing my Statement of Purpose explaining just
what the hell it is that I want to do with The Rest of My Life --
::pause for deep intake of breath:: -- I figured I should say
something about my experience Wednesday night at The Toronto Show.
I had to go alone, seeing as my cousin had the work party she couldn't
get out of to go to, my KITH fan friends were all busy, and my other
friends aren't clued into their greatness. I headed over after work.
However, I had to stop off to pick up some yarn, ribbon, and other
stuff for a friend-at-work's baby shower. (Picked up a few ounces of a
lovely, soft, white cotton and olefin blend with mint and soft yellow
flecks. Yay for gender non-specific colours. <g>) Then the streetcar
at King was late.
So by the time I finally GOT to the studio, it was 6:30 p.m. For a 6
p.m. taping. Heh.
The security dude kindly pointed me in the right direction, and I
thankfully was still able to get in. The show hadn't started yet.
Cuban dancers, D'Talle, were rehearsing and we were getting the
rundown from the warm-up guy, T. Stokes, as to how this show was going
to operate.
It was very chaotic. Unlike Letterman or Conan's studios, where the
audience are seated facing a soundstage, this was something else
entirely. Despite the traditional urban skyline background, the set
was obviously designed for the MTV/Muchmusic generation, with bright
lights, call-and-answer style raps, sexy dancers, and cameras
everywhere. There weren't any chairs; instead, we could perch on
orange-red and blue blocks when we were forced to stand or dance.
(Yeah.)
Flashforward through the different variety acts, who were all quite
good, to the part you want to hear about: Dave.
It was evident right from the beginning of the show that much of the
crowd was there to see Mr. Foley. For one thing, quite a few of his
family members were sitting and standing in the audience. The crowd
favourite, of course, was his mum. Without being introduced as such,
everyone took to her immediately, as the warm-up MC made us "bounce."
(Not bounce, but "bounce." Good god, I can't believe I willingly took
part in that... *sober.*) Stokes noticed Mary "bouncing," and went
over to her to show us all how it's done. Everyone loved it and
applauded, so periodically, between acts, he would get Mary to bounce
for everyone. It was adorable. Another older couple attempted to
challenge her, but they did not succeed in winning over the affections
of the crowd.
Dave shows up as the second-to-last act of the show. The host, Enis
Esmer, introduces him as himself, but Dave appears in slightly
different garb...
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>>If you want to be surprised, skip the spoilers!
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... in blood-soaked scrubs, to be exact. Enis questions his wardrobe
choices, as Dave appears completely oblivious to how strange he looks.
Finally, he gets it, and explains that he was in the middle of oral
surgery. Enis asks why. Dave describes dentistry as his "celebrity
hobby," and when Enis wonders why Dave doesn't engage in a more
quotidian activity, Dave makes a crack at Enis' lack of celebrity--
"Well, obviously you're just starting out, aren't you?"
The character was very much like the Bad Doctor; in fact, I think I
remember hearing a few lines adapted from the sketch. Unlike that
character, this was explicitly stated to be Dave, and part of his
ongoing quest to mock and deflate his own celebrity status. <g>
At the end of the dialogue, he loses the patient. Enis smirks, "You
LOST the patient? In a *dentist's* chair?" (I don't know, something
like that; it's paraphrased.) Foley stalks off, angry about being
ridiculed. I think Dave's anger was my favourite part.
If you watch the show on September 25th, you'll see me in an orange
halter, sitting behind the two of them on the colourful blocks,
looking up in an attempt to actually watch the sketch. (Oy, why'd I
choose that spot?) But for the most part, I found myself too tired to
crane my neck and stared at Dave's feet instead. <g>
(I can't help but think: If Gina were lurking right now, she'd like
that. ;)
The show ended with a shitty comic (Adam Growe, blah). I said hi to
some folks, then found myself too tired to think of anything to say or
do and announced that I was going out to get some coffee. Balzac's was
closed, so I went to get some dinner instead. Dinner, alone. Sexy. But
I had some good scotch, and read by the bar's candlelight; then had a
delicious risotto. So that was fine. I was enjoying myself until I
realized that it was 9:40, I hadn't gotten the bill yet, and the
second taping was to start at 9:00. D'oh.
Got back to the studio to find that I'd missed the first twenty
minutes of the show. Thought that I'd missed Scott, whom I was told
was going to be opening the show, but luckily he turned out to be at
the end. This is when I got to talk to Crissy and Dave and... the
newest little Foley!
[Please ignore this part; it's going to be embarassing...]
OH MY GOD, she is the CUTEST BABY OF ALL-TIME! I just wanted to
squeeze her little baby cheeks and grab her little toes and smother
her in kisses....
Here's a little mini-bio culled from my first meeting with the
delightful Miss Alina Chiara Foley:
- Her first name comes from her mum's favourite childhood doll; her
middle name is an adaptation of her mum's mum's name.
- Likes: When her dad puts her on his head like a hat, being tossed in
the air, funny faces, when her mum grabs her toes
- Dislikes: Any interruptions while feeding, Buddy Cole
Okay, maybe the last part's not true <g>, but she was NOT enjoying
waiting for the end of Scott's monologue-- it was long past her
bedtime!
At first I was convinced that she didn't like me because 1) Babies
never like me, and 2) She made a face when I introduced myself, but
Crissy insisted that it's a facade she plays with for all new people.
I was much comforted to find her making smile-y baby faces after that.
Anyway. SO SO SO SO SO adorable. Have I adequately expressed how
ADORABLE she is? And obviously so smart, too. I could tell. Only five
months, yes, but you can tell with the level of engagement and body
language. She almost said "mama," and god, it was just so precious. I
told Crissy that I was completely jealous. <g>
Dave and Crissy joked about taking her up on stage to introduce her to
the audience, Sonny and Cher-style.
"Hello, everyone. Meet our daughter, the future lesbian!" quipped
Crissy.
"And not a lipstick lesbian, either!" followed Dave.
Eventually The Cutest Family in the World had to go, so I bid them
adieu, then wandered aimlessly for a while until I squinted and
noticed Mr. Bellini right in front of my eyes, while Scott was signing
body parts and cans. (Pop cans, not can-cans.) He's lost a lot of
weight, and looks great as always, but my gosh, I almost didn't
recognize him!
This is when he told me about the Comedy Central special that he and
Scott are going down to NYC for on Tuesday. Sorry to hear there aren't
any tickets left, folks. You'll be able to watch, of course, and see
something that is very similar to the monologue Scott did for The T.O.
Show-- but with a unique twist. Thus, I won't describe it and spoil
the surprise. All I can say is that Scott's monologue was hilarious,
and hit all of targets with the clever wordplay and insight that I
have come to expect from him.
Buddy's hair was especially high during the monologue. Scott looked
wonderful as always. He walked in with two fabulous looking boys. The
crowd response to Scott's monologue was good, but it was a slightly
different group than the first taping. Not as mature, not as varied--
I think Buddy would have gone over much, much better at the first
taping. These kids just didn't get it. They probably would have liked
Adam Growe.
Later, Scott told us a story about the Humber student -- there was a
group of komedy-with-a-k kids who came down for the tapings -- who
stalked him during the show. This kid makes his way over to the
dressing room, pretends like he's Scott's best friend, and later
starts *talking into a woman's vagina.* Scott thought he was some
crazy make-up artist, the talent co-ordinator thought he was Scott's
friend. So nobody did anything about it for quite a while, until Scott
figures it out and has to give him a lecture about how you don't talk
into a woman's genitalia: It's just not a gentlemanly thing to do. <g>
So much for security.
They're just getting into the swing of things over there, though, so I
suppose these glitches will be worked out. The next night's taping was
to involve a special guest appearance by Dave during Jann Arden's
set-- an acoustic duet. Can't wait to see that. Scott wondered aloud
why Dave gets to be on *three* times when he's only on once, and
discussed characters he could do on the show. (One person hoped for
Danny Husk which would be fantastic; I personally think Rebecca Fleck
would go over really well too.)
My dream of seeing Francesca Fiore and Bruno Puntz-Jones together
again did not happen. Sigh. Maybe someday....
This is where the overview ends. Time to practice sentence completions
and math problem solving until the sun sets. :P
*Kitana~
>>>>>>>>
"I don't think he's gay, but he's *somebody's* bottom." -- Me,
Thursday night
Tay-vee
<< while simultaneously writing my Statement of Purpose explaining just
what the hell it is that I want to do with The Rest of My Life -- >>
I'd just like to say that if most normal people (like, say, me, or most people
I know) had to write a Statement of Purpose explaining what we plan to do with
The Rest of Our Lives, well, it wouldn't be good. I don't think it's actually
normal for people to have to KNOW that at 22. Just in general. It must be hard
to be a genius. <g>
<< However, I had to stop off to pick up some yarn, ribbon, and other
stuff for a friend-at-work's baby shower. (Picked up a few ounces of a
lovely, soft, white cotton and olefin blend with mint and soft yellow
flecks. Yay for gender non-specific colours. <g>) >>
Mm, that sounds beautiful. I love baby yarn; it's so very soft. I wish they
made more baby yarn in non-pastel colours and large quantities for use by
grownups. (They do, it's just harder to find.)
<< There weren't any chairs; instead, we could perch on
orange-red and blue blocks when we were forced to stand or dance.
(Yeah.) >>
Yikes. That smacks a tad of "trying too hard" in terms of set design, but I
can't really judge until I see it. Because right now it sounds a little bit
like The New Zoom set. <g>
<< It was evident right from the beginning of the show that much of the
crowd was there to see Mr. Foley. For one thing, quite a few of his
family members were sitting and standing in the audience. The crowd
favourite, of course, was his mum. >>
I've never seen his mum. I bet she's just the cutest mum. I just bet.
<< Stokes noticed Mary "bouncing," and went
over to her to show us all how it's done. >>
See, any mum that's a good bouncer is just the very cutest of mums.
Jealous! I want to see the cute mum!
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HA!!! "Bad Doctor" meets "Standard Dave Talk Show Self-Conscious About His Own
Celebrity Persona"! I love it!!
<< At the end of the dialogue, he loses the patient. Enis smirks, "You
LOST the patient? In a *dentist's* chair?" (I don't know, something
like that; it's paraphrased.) Foley stalks off, angry about being
ridiculed. I think Dave's anger was my favourite part. >>
Glorious. I can't wait to see this. Dave is great at stalking off. It's one of
his skills. It should be on his resume.
<< If you watch the show on September 25th, you'll see me in an orange
halter, >>
That sounds hot. <g>
<< This is when I got to talk to Crissy and Dave and... the
newest little Foley!
>>
This is when I died of jealousy. The rest of your post is just an incoherent
buzz behind the leaping emerald flames of my envy.
<< - Likes: When her dad puts her on his head like a hat, being tossed in
the air, funny faces, when her mum grabs her toes >>
::THUD::
Okay... okay, I'll recover myself enough to respond to this:
<< pretends like he's Scott's best friend, and later
starts *talking into a woman's vagina.* >>
How do you talk into a woman's vagina? I mean, was it attached to a real woman?
Or was it a disembodied, floating vagina? I can't picture this at all. It's
freaking me out.
Tavie (rhymes with GRAVY, not savvy)
==
"Welcome to LA; follow this ASS!" -Dave Foley
"Once there was a man called God, who liked to arrange things in my favor."
-Goose
Kitana
> I'd just like to say that if most normal people (like, say, me, or most people
> I know) had to write a Statement of Purpose explaining what we plan to do with
> The Rest of Our Lives, well, it wouldn't be good. I don't think it's actually
> normal for people to have to KNOW that at 22. Just in general. It must be hard
> to be a genius. <g>
But, see, I'm NOT because I DON'T know. Why do they expect me to know?
Dad suggested I start the statement off with the dialogue between me
and the chancellor on Graduation Day.
"So, what are you going to do with the rest of your life?"
"Um, I don't know. Maybe teach?"
And thus began Kitana's illustrious academic career....
I've been complaining to anyone who will listen, and now I'm taking it
out on the newsgroup. Man. Someone tell me to shut UP.
Anyway, to quote Chris Murphy of Sloan,
"One thing I know about the rest of my life,
I know that I'll be living it in Canada!"
Yeah. It's Canada for me. That's all I know. I guess that
automatically limits my options. <g>
> Mm, that sounds beautiful. I love baby yarn; it's so very soft.
I know! It's so cuddly.
I found this cute pattern for a crocheted teddy bear. If I could find
some non-pastel baby yarn... oh, me want to make.
> << There weren't any chairs; instead, we could perch on
> orange-red and blue blocks when we were forced to stand or dance.
> (Yeah.) >>
>
> Yikes. That smacks a tad of "trying too hard" in terms of set design, but I
> can't really judge until I see it. Because right now it sounds a little bit
> like The New Zoom set. <g>
LOL!!!
> I've never seen his mum. I bet she's just the cutest mum. I just bet.
The very cutest.
I have a picture from 2002, I think, where she's sitting in the
background. You can just barely make her out. Wouldn't even show up on
a scanner, she's that faint.
> << Stokes noticed Mary "bouncing," and went
> over to her to show us all how it's done. >>
>
> See, any mum that's a good bouncer is just the very cutest of mums.
Exactly!
Me too. But they still haven't shown this sketch yet! The first three
episodes aired were a mish-mash of different tapings. So far I've
caught Dave's "ER" walk-on, Dave and Jann, and Scott as Buddy. No Bad
Dentist, and at the end of Saturday night's episode, Enis said, "Dave
Foley and Scott Thompson will be with us next week!" So maybe there
WILL be some Francesca and Bruno? Something pre-taped?
We can hope....
Definitely watch next week, because there WILL be some Dave and Scott
content.
> Glorious. I can't wait to see this. Dave is great at stalking off. It's one of
> his skills. It should be on his resume.
Agreed.
> << If you watch the show on September 25th, you'll see me in an orange
> halter, >>
>
> That sounds hot. <g>
You mean the top, not me. <g> (Remember the last time I was at Mint
Manor and we went into the city to have lunch with Matt, and we picked
him up at Barnes and Noble? I was wearing that.)
> This is when I died of jealousy. The rest of your post is just an incoherent
> buzz behind the leaping emerald flames of my envy.
{{{{{Tavie}}}}}
> How do you talk into a woman's vagina? I mean, was it attached to a real woman?
> Or was it a disembodied, floating vagina?
That sounds like something straight outta Hustler.
Fuck, get it out of my head!!
Kitana