*** The NEWBIE FAQ (Welcome to alt.tv.homicide; read first!)***
landbeck john
** Disclaimer **
This document is offered `as is,' without apologies, with the expectation
you will assist me in it's construction by pointing out any errors you
find. Enjoy!
Portions which are new since it was last posted are marked with !
in the right column; modified sections are marked with a +
**
CONTENTS
1.0.....Introduction, History, and Definitions
2.0.....Rules of the newsgroup
3.0.....FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions)
3.1..What is "_Homicide: Life on the Street_"?
3.2..I heard it was based on a book?
3.3..What is "the Board," and how do you read it?
3.4..Who's who (Actors, characters, and real people) +
3.5..How to tell the main characters apart.
3.6..Major points/characters from previous seasons.
3.7..Where do I get the _real_ FAQ (and other Internet sites)? +
3.8..Upcoming episodes and why the promo titles are different! +
3.9..The Music.
3.10.alt.tv.homicide in-jokes. +
3.11.An unadorned episode list for all four seasons.
4.0.....Suggestions (a few words to the wise)
1.0.....INTRODUCTION, HISTORY, AND DEFINITIONS
_Homicide: Life on the Street_ (Commonly known as "H:LotS)
premiered in January of 1993, after the Super Bowl. This newsgroup
(alt.tv.homicide, or ATH/a.t.h.) was formed in the fall of 1994, and is
dedicated to discussion, study, and thoughtful exchanges of commentary
that are (hopefully) at least tangentially related to the TV show.
This "Newbie FAQ" (FAQ being a ubiquitous Internet acronym for
_F_requently _A_sked _Q_uestions; there is a FAQ kept for almost every
subject, newsgroup, and sub-interest imaginable) is designed to be an
introduction to this newsgroup, whether you are brand new to the Internet
or an old hand at surfing. Contained herein are answers to some of the
frequently asked questions, and some simple suggestions, offered to
allow you to include yourself in the best damn newsgroup on the Internet
with a minimum of pain and discomfort (to the rest of us).
With apologies to Vince (who keeps the REAL FAQ).
2.0.....RULES
What, are you kidding? This is an unmoderated alt. newsgroup;
there _are_ no rules.
Having said that, however, let me offer a strong word of caution;
it is expected of you, the individual, to be responsible enough to
recognize that you are a complete stranger to whatever group you chance
upon. And frankly, you will continue to be a stranger to the group,
until you read it.
I'm not making this up; go read the accompanying help and
instruction documents that come with your newsgroup reader. You are
expected to _read_ (*without posting!) a newsgroup for at _least_ two
weeks before you write word one to it.
Few things are more pathetic (and, in many cases, annoying and
cluttering) than the attempts of someone brand new to the group. The
advice is this; get a feel for the rhythm of the posts, before you add one
of your own. Think of it as becoming "fluent" in another culture. You
will then be better able to communicate that burning revelation you've
had about the show, or the amazing experience you've undergone as a result
of it. It will still be just as interesting to us in 14 days as it
would be now. More so, because you won't sound...well...like a
complete neophyte.
You will find that alt.tv.homicide is one of the most civil (one
result of this being it's one of the most intelligent and interesting)
newsgroups on the whole Internet. Be a good traveller therein, and
leave it as good as (or better than) you found it.
3.0.....FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
I promise you, any question you have _has_ been asked before.
Now, there is nothing wrong with bringing up the subject again, because
new opinions/light/information may be shed and shared the second (or
fourth, or thirtieth) time a subject is hashed. So (after reading for
two weeks) feel free to ask any questions you want.
But, if you are really only in search of some basic info, you
will probably find the answer below. Read on, and learn.
3.1..What is this show about?
A squad of homicide detectives in Baltimore, MD struggles to
clear cases that come their way. Most of the cases are homicides
(of course) of the garden variety (common and unremarkable). But
occasionally, a "red-ball" (a high profile case with the accompanying
media coverage, and the department's higher-ups demanding it be closed
immediately) lands in their laps. Any red-ball case, even if it's
not a murder, gets handled by the homicide unit (because they are the
most skilled investigators on the force; yes, that really is how they do
it in Baltimore). So they get the police-related shootings, the
TV-coverage missing persons cases, and so on, in addition to all the
suspicious deaths.
The detectives on a given shift of the Homicide department are
broken down into partnerships. But the cases (and the responsibility of
clearing them) are assigned entirely by chance. Whoever answers the call
from dispatch announcing a case becomes the "primary." The primary
is ultimately in charge of the entire investigation. If the primary's
partner is unavailable (or if the detective in question is partnerless),
then the lieutenant or sergeant on duty will usually assign someone else
to partner with the primary, just for this case.
H:LotS is an ensemble show. In some episodes, the story will
concern itself with each character and their respective cases. Some
episodes will focus on one partnership, or even one detective, and one
particular case they are working.
3.2..What about the book it's based on?
_Homicide: A Year on the Killing Streets_ by David Simon, Ivy
Books (published by Ballantine Books), ISBN # 0-8041-0999-0. c 1991
Take this information to a bookseller, and they will be able to order
it (probably only in paperback), or look for it at a used bookstore.
David Simon wrote it while working for the _Baltimore Sun_ as a
reporter, over the course of one full year, during which he tagged along
as an observer of all things dealing with the Baltimore Police
Department's Homicide squads. It is an exceptional book, and will
increase your appreciation of the series if you read it.
A related book may also be of interest, _Practical Homicide
Investigation: Tactics, Procedures and Forensic Techniques_. 2nd Ed.
Vernon J. Geberth. 1992. Reprint ed. 47.95. 0-8493-9507-0, HV8079. There
are several quotes of note drawn from it ("we work for God").
3.3..What's the deal with that board? What do the colors mean?
The Board is where the names of each case handled by Homicide are
written, in either black, red, or blue.
An important distinction should be made between fact and fiction
here. In the "real" world of Baltimore Homicide, the way the board is
kept significantly differs from how it is kept on _Homicide: Life on
the Street_.
On H:LotS, the board encompasses only one squad from one shift; Lt.
Giardello's, the squad whose work we witness each week during the show.
It is divided into columns, with the name of each detective at the top
of each column. Written below each detective's name are the last names
of each victim whose death the detective is investigating, and the case
number assigned to the investigation; at the bottom of each column is a
short list of the detective's cases from the previous calendar year that
remain open. The numbers are assigned on an ordinal basis; the first
case of the year was number #001, the next #002, etc. On the far right
of the board, is a list of names for which warrants have been issued.
In the real world, the board is made of acetate covered paper,
(rather than a moveable plastic board which is used on the TV show), and
displays the status of all cases being worked by _both_ shifts. It is
divided in half, with the name of each shift's Lieutenant at the top of
each half. The halves are divided into three columns (making a total of
six columns), and at the top of each column (underneath their respective
Lieutenant's name) are the names of the sergeants in charge of each of the
six squads. The names of the victims are listed in these columns, according
to the squad of the investigating detective. To the left of each name is
the case number. To the right are the initials of the investigating
detectives. If a warrant has been issued, and no arrest made, the letter
W is written (in parentheses) also. At the bottom of the column, cases
from previous years that are closed this year are written.
The color of the victims' names represent the status of the
respective investigations. A victim's name in black means that the case
has been closed (an arrest has been made, and a suspect charged). If the
victim's name is in red, then the case is "open" and uncleared, and the
investigation is ongoing.
A name written in blue has specific meaning in the real world,
but what it means on H:LotS is still being debated. In the real world, a
blue name denotes a case that remained open from previous years, but has
been closed this year. Apparently, on H:LotS, a case which has been
reopened from previous years goes on the board in blue, whether it's
cleared or not.
Ultimately, the board's significance is in its use and regard as
a touchstone of the shift's performance. Anyone can look at the board
and know who is closing cases. And who is not.
3.4..What are the character's names? Do they correlate with anyone from
the book? How are their names pronounced?
Correlations are a composite of opinions proffered by several
concerned fans; they are not doctrinal or canonical in any way. Several
of the TV characters have behaved like or have quoted lines from more
than one real homicide detective from the book.
CHARACTER ACTOR POSSIBLE CORRELATION
John Munch Richard Belzer Brown/Landsman/James
Frank Pembleton Andre Braugher Edgerton
Mike Kellerman Reed Diamond Keller
Megan Russert Isabella Hofmann < none >
Meldrick Lewis Clark Johnson Waltemeyer/Brown
Al Giardello (G or Gee) Yaphet Kotto D'Addario
Kay Howard Melissa Leo Garvey
Tim Bayliss Kyle Secor Pellegrini
(from former seasons)
Beau Felton Daniel Baldwin Kincaid/Waltemeyer
Steve Crosetti Jon Polito McLarney
Stan Bolander Ned Beatty Worden
(semi-regulars)
QRT Lieutenant Jasper Gary D'Addario <it's complicated>
ADA Ed Danvers Zeljko Ivanek < none >
Brodie Max Perlich < none >
Barnfather Clayton LeBouef < none >
Gaffney Walt MacPherson < none >
Darrin Russom Michael S. Willis < none >
Giardello's nickname has been spelled both ways.
Braugher rhymes with "shower"
Secor is pronounced "see-kor"
Belzer is pronounced "bell-zer"
Yaphet Kotto is pronounced "yaff-et coat-oh"
3.5..Who's who, or how to tell the characters apart.
Det. John Munch; Black hair, white, skinny, divorced multiple
times, been on the Homicide squad for a long time. Co-owns a bar with
detectives Meldrick Lewis and Tim Bayliss. Kind of a cynical wise-guy.
Partners with Megan Russert. Played by Richard Belzer.
Det. Frank Pembleton; shaved bald head, black, married (wife is
several months pregnant with their first child), been with Homicide a
long time. He is very intense about work, is an amazing interrogator and
investigator, but is consequently very opinionated and hard to get
along with. Partners with Tim Bayliss. Played by Andre Braugher.
Det. Mike Kellerman; blonde curly hair, white, very young,
divorced, just transferred to Homicide in episode 2 of this season from
Arson. He has inherited the role of "New Guy" from Bayliss. Witty,
smart, comes from working-class background. Partners with Det. Meldrick
Lewis. Played by Reed Diamond.
Det. Megan Russert; Long blonde hair, white woman, widowed Mom.
Partners with John Munch. She was recently demoted (unfairly) from
Captain by Colonel Barnfather, and replaced by the reprehensible
Gaffney. Is the cousin of Tim Russert (the TV journalist). Played by
Isabella Hofmann.
Det. Meldrick Lewis; light-skinned black man with short hair,
often wears a hat, single, been in Homicide unit for more than five
years. Born and raised in a Baltimore tenement, he has an older brother
who is a permanant resident of a mental ward. Co-owns _The Waterfront_
(the bar) with Munch and Bayliss. Partners with Mike Kellerman. Played
by Clark Johnson
Lieutenant Al Giardello; large, very dark black man, three
children (all grown and moved away), is the Lieutenant for the
squad of detectives the series focuses on. Has been passed over for a
deserved promotion at least three times we know of. Often refers
to his Sicilian ancestors. Played by Yaphet Kotto.
Sergeant Kay Howard; long curly reddish/blonde hair, single,
recently promoted to Sergeant for the squad (She helps Lt Giardello--"G"--
run things, but also still investigates cases). Very driven, has the
best case-closure record of anyone on the squad. Was assigned partners
with Munch, but reassigned Munch to Russert, and is now partnerless.
Played by Melissa Leo.
Det. Tim Bayliss; white guy, single, really short brown hair.
Used to be on the QRT (the _Q_uick _R_esponse _T_eam; very like SWAT).
He's been really depressed lately about his very first case, a nasty
rape/murder of a twelve-year-old that was never closed. Co-owns the bar
with Munch and Lewis. Partners with Pembleton. Played by Kyle Secor.
3.6..Synopsis of major story elements and characters from former seasons.
Three detectives have left the squad since the first episode.
Steve Crosetti was a character for only the first two seasons, and was
played by Jon Polito, and partnered with Meldrick Lewis. The character
committed suicide between the second and third seasons.
The other two characters, Beau Felton and Stanley Bolander, were
both suspended immediately before the beginning of the fourth season, for
lewd and drunken behavior at a convention (Nudity and guns was alluded
to). The reason for their departure rests in decisions made by the
actors playing them.
Beau was partners with Kay Howard, and had a rocky marriage. At
one point, his wife threw him out, and he commenced an affair with the
(then) Lieutenant of the other shift, Megan Russert. Beau's wife finally
took him back, but ended up leaving him, taking the kids, and
disappearing. Played by Daniel Baldwin.
Stan Bolander ("Big Man") was Munch's partner, and was broadly
considered to be the most experienced, and certainly one of the best,
Homicide detectives in Baltimore. Played by Ned Beatty.
3.7..Where to get the full-blown FAQ (and it's attendant episode-list and
plot-summary), and other Homicide related Internet info.
via email or ftp: Who knows? Vince is skilled, patient, and
thorough, and hopes to keep us in suspense until the thing is completely
done; so it won't _be_ available until then. But if you want a copy of
last year's version, email me, and I'll email it back to you. Or you can
find it (the old FAQ) at:
http://www.gl.umbc.edu/~jlempk1/Homicide/homicide.faq
Jason Lempka maintains a very nice H:LotS Website at:
http://www.gl.umbc.edu/~jlempk1/homicide.html
A Web-based episode guide is also available at:
http://www.xnet.com/~djk/ep_guide.shtml#Homicide
Another Web-based H:LotS site, with an updated Music List:
http://www1.ridgecrest.ca.us/~eclipse/homicide.htm
The BobTard Archive is available at:
ftp://members.aol.com/bobtard/HLOTS.
NBC has a website where pictures, limited biographies, and
wonderful spoiler info can be had:
http://www.nbc.com/entertainment/shows/homicide/index.html/
Here's a site where you can get H:LotS merchandise:
http://www.moviemadness.com
Articles posted to alt.tv.homicide are available to read and
re-read via the WWW. Point your favorite browser (Mosaic, IBrowse,
MindBender, Lynx, etc to:
http://www.dejanews.com
or
http://dejanews2.dejanews.com
then select "search" and then select "create a query filter" and input
"alt.tv.homicide" in the "newsgroups to search" field. Then select
"submit". You will be taken back to the prior screen where you now have
a choice to select all the documents collected by the filter; archives
are currently updated every 2 days.
There's a nicely-put-together mailing list done by one of the
H:LotS' most excellent fans. Email Sandi...@aol.com for info.
Any other nice Internet sites dedicated to H:LotS?
3.8..What's the deal with the episode titles? They're listed one way
in the TV Guide, and then another way on the promos!
It's like this: Baltimore Pictures makes an episode of H:LotS,
and names it. This name is the "official" episode title, the one that
shows up in your TV Guide, and is the title it is appropriate to refer to
a specific episode by.
Once the episode is finished, it is for all intents and purposes
given to NBC. They decide when to air it (which has lead to a plethora
of "out-of-order" episodes, but that's another issue entirely). When
the episode is close to airing, the NBC promotions department puts
together a promotional package for it, including the 20- or 30-second
commercials for it that you see during _ER_ or _Law and Order_. As part
of the promotional effort, a "promo title" is often concocted to make
the upcoming epsiode more attractive to viewers unfamiliar with H:LotS.
It has nothing to do with the "episode title."
Upcoming episode titles and dates (questions on previous episode
titles can be answered at the Homicide Title Web-site, listed in the
answer to the last question) follow:
4-12 Scene of the Crime (directed by Cathy Bates)
4-19 Smoke Gets in Your Eyes; Ep. 109-1st season finale (aired 3-24-95)
4-26 Map of the Heart
5-03 The Damage Done
5-10 The Wedding
5-17 Work Related - the season finale.
3.9..Who picks the songs? Is there a CD out, or in the works?
As for the CD/soundtrack, no and no. And I doubt it's forthcoming,
ever. Yes, it'd be _really_ cool, but be realistic; H:LotS is not the
determined pop-culture vehicle that _Miami Vice_ was, and doesn't have
the camp/hipness of _The X-Files_ (though there have been some pretty
lame TV shows with their own soundtrack albums lately, so you never
know...). But I wouldn't hold my breath.
The songs are variously picked by the producers, the editors, and
even the writers. It's an eclectic thing. There's a list of the songs
on the web, address in the answer to question 6.
3.10.A list of alt.tv.homicide in-jokes, or "how to appear instantly
cool on a.t.h."
"The best damn ________." Whenever offering a compliment,
especially one directed at the show itself, that's the superlative to
use. For example, "H:LotS is really cool.": pleasant compliment, but not
how it's done by the long-tooths. "H:LotS is the best damn show on
television!": I don't know where it started, but believe me, it's an
a.t.h. tradition.
"Oh puke!" This was Kay's response to Reynaldo Curtis (the
Latino police officer from _Law and Order_ who was in Baltimore during
the crossover two-parter) when he said he was married, had three kids,
and only sees his wife when he has dirty dreams. It's offered (in
good humor) whenever anyone says something too smarmy.
"My $.11" This is as opposed to the "my two cents" or "my $.02"
phrases which indicate someone is just offering a non-professional
opinion. The eleven cents figure comes from an H:LotS episode wherein
Bayliss holds up a conveniance store clerk because Bayliss is 11 cents
short, and the clerk won't cut him a break.
"_______(Insert other police-themed show) really sucks!" For
some reason, many H:LotS fans feel compelled to deride and lambast all
the other "cop" shows currently airing, _especially_ NYPD Blue ("the Butt
show" as it is know with affection). While this is a mystery to me, the
practice of denigrating other police series is none-the-less common;
though it seems to be more prevalent among the less-mature fans.
Suggestions for inclusion?
3.11.A brief episode list.
Season One
Prod. # Date/Rating Title
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
101 01/31/93 18.8 "Gone for Goode"
102 02/10/93 15.3 "Ghost of a Chance"
104 02/17/93 10.6 "Son of a Gun"
105 02/24/93 13.4 "A Shot in the Dark"
106 03/03/93 11.3 "Three Men and Adena"
107 03/10/93 13.0 "The Dog and Pony Show"
108 03/17/93 10.3 "And the Rockets' Dead Glare"
109 03/24/93 11.0 "Smoke Gets in Your Eyes"
103 03/31/93 10.2 "Night of the Dead Living"
Season Two
Prod. # Date/Rating Title
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
204 01/06/94 26.1 "Bop Gun"
201 01/13/94 19.1 "See No Evil"
202 01/20/94 16.0 "Black and Blue"
203 01/27/94 17.2 "A Many Splendored Thing"
Season 3
Prod. # Date/Rating Title
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
301 10/14/94 17.2 "Nearer My God to Thee"
302 10/21/94 11.5 "Fits Like a Glove"
303 10/28/94 11.4 "Extreme Unction"
305 11/04/94 9.7 "Model Citizen"
306 11/11/94 9.7 "Happy to Be Here"
304 12/02/94 10.7 "Crosetti"
307 12/09/94 10.6 "The Last of the Watermen"
308 12/16/94 11.4 "All Through the House"
310 01/06/95 13.5 "Every Mother's Son"
311 01/13/95 12.7 "Cradle to Grave"
312 01/20/95 11.9 "Partners"
313 01/27/95 14.6 "The City that Bleeds"
314 02/03/95 9.3 "Dead End"
315 02/10/95 10.3 "End Game"
316 02/24/95 9.3 "Law and Disorder"
317 03/03/95 9.3 "The Old and the Dead"
318 04/14/95 8.2 "In Search of Crimes Past"
309 04/21/95 "Nothing Personal"
319 04/28/95 "Colors"
320 05/05/95 "The Gas Man"
Season Four
Prod. # Date/Rating Title
---------------------------------------------------------------------
401 10/20/95 9.4 "Fire (part 1)"
402 10/27/95 10.3 "Fire (part 2)"
403 11/03/95 9.1 "Autofocus"
407 11/10/95 9.5 "Thrill of the Kill"
406 11/17/95 "Hate Crimes"
404 12/01/95 10.0 "A Doll's Eyes"
405 12/08/95 9.1 "Heartbeat"
408 01/05/96 9.3 "Sniper (part 1)"
409 01/12/96 9.7 "Sniper (part 2)"
412 01/19/96 9.8 "The Hat"
413 02/02/96 "I've Got a Secret"
411 02/09/96 "For God and Country" (W/L&O)
414 02/16/96 "Justice (part 1)"
415 02/23/96 "Justice (part 2)"
416 03/15/96 "Stakeout"
417 03/29/96 "Requiem"
410 04/05/96 "Full Moon"
418 04/12/96 "Scene of the Crime"
419 04/26/96 "Map of the Heart"
420 05/03/96 "The Damage Done"
421 05/10/96 "The Wedding"
422 05/17/96 "Work Related" (the season finale)
4.0.....SUGGESTIONS
Now, these are just suggestions, so feel free to violate them
with wild abandon. Heed them, however, and I promise your posts will
look better, and be more interesting. Unless the goal _is_ to look like
a gomer...
Suggestion 1, be very careful with flames, accusations and
questions of a fellow poster's "authority." We have real cops (including
Homicide detectives), real NBC employees (including executive-level
persons), and real H:LotS personnel who comment here frequently. And
these people don't always identify themselves in every post; they are
"known" to the rest of us, simply by past contact. So if you disagree
with a post (or someone disagrees with you), don't embarrass yourself by
accusing them of being stupid and unknowing on the subject, when in
fact it's quite possible that yes, they really _do_ that for a living!
Suggestion 2, it isn't my intention to hurt anyone's feelings,
but let me disabuse you of a prevalent myth; quoting _anything_ at length
and verbatim, in every circumstance except a stage-style performance,
is tacky, stupid, and nerdy. This includes song lyrics (especially if
they are either pseudo-romantic or pseudo-angst-ridden), Monty Python
movies (especially _The Holy Grail_) and comedic routines (especially if
you laugh at the punch lines before anyone else). Instantly pegs you as
juvenile....
Suggestion 3, confine "me too! me too!" responses to private
email. It is a wonderful thing, to agree with something or someone
completely. It is a boring and boorish thing, to force the rest of the
world to listen to you nodding your head. If you like what is said, but
have nothing to add, then just respond to the original poster (via
private email) and say so; no need to drag the rest of us into it. And
you'll find that one of the other great pleasures of doing this is you
can strike up wonderful conversations with others like yourself.
Suggestion 4, DON'T POST USING ALL CAPITALS, unless you want to
look like a tantrumming three-year-old. dont leave out punctuation and
such unles u want to lok lik a hack-r wana-be stuuge twitch.
Suggestion 5, when you _do_ post a response, and you need to
include some of the original post as a reference, please, please, please,
pleasepleasepleaseplease edit the original post by deleting ALL of the
post that does not apply to your response. Don't know how to edit
specific lines or passages? Then ASK your sysop; that's what they are
paid for. It is the hallmark of hurried (and rude) responders to include
an eight page original post, in order to respond to just one paragraph
(or to just say "me too!). A good rule of thumb, in fact, is to _try_
to keep your posts (and responses) to less than one page in length.
Makes for easier digestion on our part, and makes your post seem
_much_ less cluttered.
As a corollary to this, do NOT include massive sigs on posts that
are less than a couple of pages. You WILL post here again, so only
include the sig (if it's more than three lines) on posts that are already
long. Internet tradition is that sigs be four lines or less, anyway.
Violation of this correlary is a dead give-away that the violator is
a beginner.
Suggestion 6, regarding spoiler information; feel free to post
information which may "spoil" upcoming episodes (the sources for spoilers
are legion; trade magazines, interviews, the NBC web-site, educated
guesses on your part, etc). A spoiler is any piece of information, which
when read, will give away or "spoil" some aspect of a particular episode
(or episodes) IF the reader hasn't _seen_ it yet. You know, who gets the
case, if the suspect is guilty, who the guest star will be, particular
lines/scenes that you loved; these are spoilers. BUT; --*BUT*-- mark the
post as a spoiler at the beginning (by writing the word "SPOILER" on the
subject line AND the first line of your post. And then leave an entire
page blank before revealing whatever it is you have to relate (this is
called "spoiler space"). It is common courtesy to allow others the
choice of whether or not to share in your reading-the-last-chapter-first.
Suggestion 7, Worried about AIDS? Then copulate responsibly, and
remember, the only _sure_ preventive measure is abstenince.
Suggestion 8, Do *NOT* reply to spam/cross-posted threads
(unless you have a really creative way to bend it's original
generic message to the theme of the group; even then, delete all the
other groups from the header). Think about it for a minute. If you
reply to a post that was sent to dozens of newsgroups.....your reply
will _also_ go to those dozens of newsgroups. And you will be qualified
for pillorying by the denizens of those dozens of newsgroups.
Additionally, when dimrods in the other newsgroups respond to _your_
half-wit post, we (in alt.tv.homicide) will be forced to wade through
them as well; a complete waste of Internet bandwidth, and of particular
irritation to those among us who _pay_ for every minute of Internet
time. Remember what your Mom told you, about ignoring your little
brother and he'd go away? That is the best policy here. If you must
respond, then just email the original author (or their sysop). Don't
know how? Then ask someone else.
Suggestion 9, don't post (or ask that they be posted) image or
sound files to the newsgroup. There are newsgroups dedicated
_specifically_ to both, and the vast majority of people here would be
_highly_ annoyed to see binary gibberish taking up space. If you want
them, or have them, then you could simply _talk_ about their
where-abouts in the newsgroup; i.e., where-abouts elsewhere they can be
found.
***
Well, that's it. Any corrections or suggestions should please be
emailed to me below. As with most things, this is a work in progress,
and subject to change. The usual disclaimers (not affiliated with
blahblah, feel free to distribute blahblah, any similarity blahblah) go
here.
And thanks to Jim King, Valkyry, Sergeant Steve, Michaela Schlocker,
Joe Clark, and Cathy Brady for wise and gracious help in the editing of this
document.
May you live in interesting times.
______
John S. Landbeck jla...@gl.umbc.edu 1.410.296.0313
That sum-bitch. You tell him I think he's a damn fool, Ed.
You tell him I said so, H.I. McDonough. And if he wants to discuss
it, he knows where to find me; in the Maricopa County Maximum
Correctional Facility for Men, State Farm Road number 39, Tempe
Arizona! I'll be waiting! I'll be waiting.