Weakest Link (Classic TV Part Deux)
Chris Wolvie
One of them will walk away with up to $1 million for their charity.
The rest will leave...as round by round they are voted off as...
THE WEAKEST LINK! (Classic TV Edition II)
=========================================
Contestants:
(Name, Charater & Show,
Location, Charity)
JILL WHELAN, Vicki Stubing on "The Love Boat",
Oakland CA, Country School
FRED BERRY, Freddie 'Rerun' Stubbs on "What's Happening!!",
St. Louis MO, Suitland Best Development Corp. In Suitland MD
NELL CARTER, Nell Harper on "Gimme A Break!",
Birmingham AL, American Red Cross Disaster Relief Fund/Los
Angeles Branch
ERIK ESTRADA, Officer Francis Poncherello on "ChiPs",
New York City, New York Policeman's Benevolent Assoc.
JOAN VAN ARK, Valene Ewing on "Knots Landing" & "Dallas",
New York City, Children's Diabetes Center at Denver/Dream
Foundation
ERIN MORAN, Joanie Cunningham on "Happy Days",
Burbank CA, Starlight Children's Foundation
CINDY WILLIAMS, Shirley Feeney on "Laverne & Shirley",
Van Nuys CA, Children of the Night
MACKENZIE PHILLIPS, Julie Horvath on "One Day at a Time",
Alexandria VA, Afghan Children's Fund
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
ROUND 1 2 minutes, 30 seconds
Money banked: $6,000
Chains banked: 3
JILL : 1 right, 2 wrong, 1 chain
FRED : 0 right, 3 wrong *WEAKEST LINK*
NELL : 2 right, 0 wrong *STRONGEST LINK*
ERIK : 1 right, 1 wrong
JOAN : 1 right, 1 wrong, 1 chain
ERIN : 1 right, 1 wrong
CINDY : 1 right, 1 wrong, 1 chain
MACKENZIE : 1 right, 1 wrong
"Who could only get a question right on 'Fantasy Island'?"
JILL : ERIK
FRED : JOAN
NELL : ERIK
ERIK : FRED
JOAN : FRED
ERIN : JILL
CINDY : FRED
MACKENZIE : FRED
Anne: "Erik,...what shopw were you known for?"
Erik: "'CHiPs'."
Anne: "What did you do on the show?"
Erik: "I rode a motorcycle and wore VERY tight pants."
Anne: "You voted for Fred."
Erik: "Yes."
Anne: "Why?"
Erik: "'Cause I wanna be the only guy here with these babes when the
show ends."
Erin: "Good answer! Good answer!"
Anne: "Joan,...what were you famous for?"
Joan: "I played 'poor Val' on 'Knot's Landing' and on 'Dallas'."
Anne: "And what was 'Dallas' about?"
Joan: "Somebody who reminds me a YOU. Uh, J.R. is like A.R. It's
somebody that you love to hate!" [OOOOO! Low blow by Van Ark!]
Anne: "Why Fred?"
Joan: "That name 'Rerun' to me...I thought maybe he might wanna
'rerun' out of here...take a break."
Anne: "So, Fred,..."
Fred: "Yes..."
Anne: "(imitates - or TRIES to imitate - 'Rerun') Hey-hey...HEY-hey!
With 4 votes, you ARE the 'weakest link'. Good-bye."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
ROUND 2 2 minutes, 20 seconds
Money banked: $1,000
Chains banked: 1
JILL : 2 right, 0 wrong *STRONGEST LINK*
NELL : 2 right, 1 wrong
ERIK : 0 right, 2 wrong *WEAKEST LINK*
JOAN : 2 right, 0 wrong
ERIN : 0 right, 2 wrong
CINDY : 2 right, 0 wrong
MACKENZIE : 1 right, 1 wrong, 1 chain *BANKED MOST*
"Who thinks 'Diff'rent Strokes' is a show about swimming?"
JILL : ERIK
NELL : ERIK
ERIK : ERIN
JOAN : ("Sexiest man on the team...") ERIK
ERIN : ERIK
CINDY : ("The ONLY man on the team...") ERIK
MACKENZIE : ERIK
Anne: "Jill,...why Erik?"
Jill: "He had a little trouble this round."
Anne: "What SORT of trouble?"
Jill: "Answering."
Anne: "Erin,..."
Erin: "Oh, my God!"
Anne: "That's an interesting top. [She's wearing a sort of
'leopard-skin' shirt with sleeves that end just below the elbows]"
Erin: "Isn't it?"
Anne: "Why Erik?"
Erin: "I just don't like him!"
Anne: "Erik, with 6 votes, you ARE the 'weakest link'. Good-bye."
Erik: (as he leaves) "See you girls later at the same place."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
ROUND 3 2 minutes, 10 seconds
Money banked: $6,000
Chains banked: 3
JILL : 2 right, 1 wrong
NELL : 2 right, 1 wrong
JOAN : 3 right, 0 wrong, 1 chain *STRONGEST LINK*
ERIN : 0 right, 2 wrong, 1 chain *WEAKEST LINK*
CINDY : 2 right, 0 wrong
MACKENZIE : 1 right, 1 wrong, 1 chain
"Whose mind, if they had one, has wandered off?"
JILL : "JOANIE" (ERIN)
NELL : "JOANIE" (ERIN)
JOAN : ("Joan loves Joanie") ERIN
ERIN : MACKENZIE
CINDY : ERIN
MACKENZIE : ERIN
Anne: "Joan,...we got this 'Dallas' and 'Knots Landing' in Britian..."
Joan: "Yes."
Anne: "...but I don't remember you. Have you done something different
with your face since then? [Like having it LIFTED, perhaps?]"
Joan: "People say I've lost weight."
Anne: "That must be what it is. Why Erin?"
Joan: "You're right about the shirt. It's distracting me, and I..."
Anne: "Mackenzie,...you like music?"
Mackenzie: "Yes, I do very much."
Anne: "What sort of music?"
Mackenzie: "I love, um,...women singers."
Anne: "Oh, don't you like any MALE singers?"
Mackenzie: "Uh, Jackson Brown."
Anne: "And your favorite male rock and roll singer who's BRITISH?"
[Objection! She's leading the witness!]
Mackenzie: "*gasp* MICK JAGGER!"
Anne: "You KNOW Mick Jagger?"
Mackenzie: "Yes, I do"
Anne: "How well do you know Mick Jagger?"
Mackenzie: "Oh,...I slept with him, but I don't really KNOW him."
Anne: "(lightly smiling at setting Mackenzie up) Was he any good?"
Mackenzie: "Yeah."
Anne: "Why Erin?"
Mackenzie: "I never thought I'D be as bad at this game as I am."
Anne: "Erin,...with 5 votes, you ARE the 'weakest link'. Good-bye."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
ROUND 4 2 minutes even
Money banked: $8,500
Chains banked: 7
JILL : 3 right, 0 wrong, 3 chains*STRONGEST LINK**BANKED MOST*
NELL : 1 right, 2 wrong, 1 chain
JOAN : 2 right, 1 wrong, 1 chain
CINDY : 1 right, 2 wrong, 1 chain *WEAKEST LINK*
MACKENZIE : 3 right, 0 wrong, 1 chain
"Who fell off the tree of knowledge?"
JILL : JOAN
NELL : JOAN
JOAN : MACKENZIE
CINDY : MACKENZIE
MACKENZIE : JOAN
Anne: "Jill,...why Joan?"
Jill: "Well, I thought that she had answered, in this particular
round, the least amount of questions, but maybe I'm wrong. [She was.]"
Anne: "Nell,...have any good one-night stands?"
Nell: "Yes, and I usually got divorced right afterwards."
Anne: "Why Joan?"
Nell: "Well,...poor thing's so thin, I think she should leave and
eat."
Anne: "Joan,...there's only room for ONE diva here! With 3 votes, you
ARE the 'weakest link'. Good-bye."
Joan: (crawling down the Walk Of Shame) "I'm always the VICTIM! It's
always ME! ANNE! *sobs*"
[In her booth interview, Joan painted a mustache and beard on her face
and complained that Anne didn't recognize her from 'Dallas'...]
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
ROUND 5 1 minute, 50 seconds
Money banked: $8,000
Chains banked: 5
JILL : 3 right, 1 wrong, 2 chains
NELL : 2 right, 2 wrong
CINDY : 1 right, 2 wrong, 2 chains *WEAKEST LINK* *BANKED MOST*
MACKENZIE : 3 right, 0 wrong, 1 chain *STRONGEST LINK*
"I urge you: dump the chump! Sack the hack! Heave the ham!"
JILL : CINDY
NELL : CINDY
CINDY : MACKENZIE
MACKENZIE : CINDY
Anne: "Nell,...why Cindy?"
Nell: "Right now, I want MY charity to win."
Anne: "Cindy,...schlemiel, schlimazel! [At the start of every ep of
'Laverne & Shirley', the two girls would walk down a street, saying,
'1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, schlemiel, schlimazel, Hassenpfeffer
Incorporated!'"
Cindy: "Very good."
Anne: "You ARE the 'weakest link'. Good-bye."
Cindy: "What if I didn't leave? What if I...What if I made you MAKE
me leave, Anne?" (skips away before Anne tries)
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
ROUND 6 1 minute, 40 seconds
Money banked: $12,500
Chains banked: 2
JILL : 2 right, 2 wrong, 2 chains *WEAKEST LINK* *BANKED MOST*
NELL : 2 right, 1 wrong
MACKENZIE : 3 right, 1 wrong *STRONGEST LINK*
"Who is least likely to help you achieve a more respectable final
figure?"
JILL : NELL
NELL : MACKENZIE
MACKENZIE : NELL
Anne: "Mackenzie, why Nell?"
Mackenzie: "Because Nell wasn't answering as many questions right as
she had in the past."
Anne: "Nell, you ARE the 'weakest link'. Good-bye."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
ROUND 7 1 minute, 30 seconds
(DOUBLE ROUND)
Money banked: $7,500 (doubled to $15,000)
Chains banked: 2
JILL : 3 right, 3 wrong, 2 chains *BANKED MOST*
MACKENZIE : 4 right, 2 wrong
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
FINAL ROUND (BANKED GRAND TOTAL: $57,000)
Mackenzie, being 'strongest link' of Round 7, elects for Jill to go
first
JILL - Q: Which document, drafted by Thomas Jefferson, was adopted
by the Second Continental Congress on July 4, 1776?
A: Declaration of Independence (correct)
MACKENZIE - Q: After China and India, what is the third most
populous country in the world?
A: Asia (incorrect; United States)
JILL - Q: What Old English word for 'tenth' now refers to a
voluntary contribution of 10% of one's income to the
church?
A: Percent (incorrect; Tithe)
MACKENZIE - Q: In a standard game of blackjack, a 'soft hand' refers
to a hand that contains what card?
A: Ten (incorrect; Ace)
JILL - Q: What element from the periodic table is often added to
Morton Salt to aid in the functioning of the thyroid
gland?
A: Potassium (incorrect; Iodine)
MACKENZIE - Q: William Shakespeare wrote seven history plays titled
'The Kings' with what first name?
A: I don't have an answer...Ralph? (incorrect; Henry)
JILL - Q: The city of Kartoum is the meeting point of the White Nile
and the Nile named for what color?
A: White (incorrect; Blue)
MACKENZIE - Q: Translated from French, the movie title 'Moulin
Rouge' refers to a red what?
A: Street (incorrect; Windmill)
JILL - Q: What controversial four-star General wrote an
autobiography called 'War As I Know It'?
A: Schwarzkopf (incorrect; George S. Patton)
MACKENZIE - Q: What was the alias taken by American outlaw and 'Wild
Bunch' member Robert Leroy Parker?
A: Jesse James (incorrect; Butch Cassidy)
1 2 3 4 5
JILL O X X X X
MACKENZIE X X X X X
Jill is the Strongest Link and leaves with $57,000!
Mackenzie...just...leaves! (At least $10,000 goes to each of the
losers' charities)
NOTES:
GIRL POWER! I guess to make up for the fact that the last Comedians
Edition had six guys and two girls, THIS show had six GIRLS and two
GUYS...and the two guys were statisitcally and voted-off 'weakest
links'! You go, girls!
I guess having mostly females made the team a bit more honest...not a
single statistically 'strongest link' was voted off. And four times
out of six, the statistically 'weakest links' were.
Talk about anti-climatic! They get $27,500 in the last two
round...then go one-for-ten in the Final Round. EWWWWW!
Monday...it's Star Trek Weakest Link! Live long and prosper...guess
wrong and suffer!
In conclusion...'moulin' is French for 'windmill'?!?
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Join us next time for another review of "Weakest Link"... *wink*...
good-bye.
(What do _I_ call Donny Osmond covered in worms and scorpions?! A
damn good start.)
Steve Mindykowski
chris...@yahoo.com (Chris Wolvie) wrote:
>In conclusion...'moulin' is French for 'windmill'?!?
Almost -- "moulin" is French for "mill"; windmill is "moulin à vent". Though of course, the famed Moulin Rouge has a neon red
windmill on its building.
--
Steve Mindykowski
rugr...@ix.netcom.com
http://www.rugratonline.com/
Home of the UNOFFICIAL Rugrats Online!
Ted Patchell
the Weakest Link. .....Why do they still bother to ask for contestants, if they
won't use them? >>
Did I mention at their recent Philadelphia auditions, they were also seeking
children and high school students? They went to a separate room, so I don't
know what happened there.
But "real people" will be on George Gray's upcoming syndicated version...those
of us who want our chances will have to watch and get those ratings high.
(Assuming it's watchable...and the early word is, yes.)
-Ted Patchell.
Victor L. Romany
wrote:
>MACKENZIE PHILLIPS, Julie Horvath on "One Day at a Time",
> Alexandria VA, Afghan Children's Fund
Kids, let Ms. Phillips be a lesson to you: Cocaine and alcohol just
don't mix.
My god, she looked haggard!
BudMann9
Slrdsyj
questions wrong, then why was Jill the strongest link statistically in this
round and not Joan nor Cindy?
Why was Erik the weakest link statistically and not Erin, when both of them
got no questions right and two questions wrong?
Thanks.