[FLASHBACK] Chr!$ L! reviews the USA and FAM line-ups
Chr!$ L!
because, hey, we're not overcrowded at all. Besides, I'd forgotten how great my
estimation of Patrick Wayne was back then... :)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv
From: wlam...@silver.ucs.indiana.edu (> Chris L <)
Subject: REVIEW: USA network game show lineup (long)
Sender: ne...@usenet.ucs.indiana.edu (USENET News System)
Organization: Indiana University
The lineup provides a series of highs and lows, almost alternating.
all times EST.
1 PM: "The New Hollywood Squares"
host: John Davidson
with: Joan Rivers, Jm J Bullock and Shadoe Stevens
original air: 1985-1989
rating: *1/2
COMMENTS: ho boy, is this thing lame. I remember loving it when I was a kid.
Now, I wonder what the hell I was thinking. Very few of the "stars" they
book ever got off a truly memorable line...actually, very few of the "stars"
ere even stars (Jay Johnson & Bob? Nancy Glass? ALF?!?), plus , throw
John Davidson, the most annoying man on the face of the earth, and you get
a truly forgettable thirty minutes of schlock. Peter Marshall would've
turned over in his grave, but he isn't dead.
1:30 PM: "$ale of the Century"
host: Jim Perry
with: Summer Bartholomew
original air: 1983-1988
RATING: *** 1/2
COMMENTS: this is the little known 1985 syndicated version that they're
currently showing, and it's a doozy. Naked Greed personified. Not so much
in the main game: 3 contestants answering ridiculously easy questions for
$5 each...but more so in the side lights: would you buy a $600 TV for $6,
even though your lead is only $5? How about if we threw in $100 in cash?
GOING ONCE! GOING TWICE! *buzz* I want it! Even if you don't need or want
the prize, you feel compelled to buy it, because if you don't, sure
enough, the $700 $ale $urprize went with it. The day's champion takes his
dollar total shopping in a fabulous store in the back, where...$295 will
buy you a $7,500 bracelet! Oooohhh!! but wait, you only have $63 today.
Oh well, would you like to buy this cheapo cellular phone for $63 and go home,
or win nothing today and come back? Remember the bracelet...or that $35,000
luxury car for only $610....or the ultimate, everything on the stage, plus a
cash jackpot upwards of $70,000, grand total $150,000+++, for only $830.
of course you're gonna come back, even though you have no hope of winning
fourteen shows to amass $830...but who knows? It happened before. One of
the true classics of the early '80s NBC Dynasty, ignored only due to the
presence of the unstoppable CBS Dynasty. Don't pass up on "$ale".
2:00: (The Return Of) "The Joker's Wild"
Host: Pat Finn
Original Air: 1990
Rating: ** 1/2
The all new Joker game bore nearly no resemblance to the 70s Barry & Enright
classic. 3 contestants battled each other to give definitions to just about
anything in a race to $2000 (with questions ranging for $30 to $150 each,
depending on a lucky spin on a huge slot machine.) The winner faced a bonus
round which still stands as one of the cheapest ever...On the rare occasions
that a contestant did match a prize in all three windows, it was usually worth
less than the $2000 s/he won in the main game. Host Pat Finn got a face-lift
after this show ended and went on to the intellectually
stimulating game "Shop 'til You Drop". How fitting.
2:30- "Tic Tac Dough"
Host: Patrick Wayne
Original Air: 1990
rating: ** 3/4
COMMENTS: Flat out, I'll say it now: Patrick Wayne, son of the late, great
John Wayne, is the worst game show host in history. He couldn't handle
small talk with the contestants, over explained the rules , failed to build
up suspense, and was generally a big sissy. Overlook him, if you can, and
you'll find a truly '90s version of one of the greatest game shows ever.
Contestants answer general knowledge questions for the right to put $$$ in
the pot and their X's and O's on a hi-tech computer-generated game board.
3 in a row wins the pot (usually $3000 +) and a shot at the 90s version of
the bonus round. The dragon remains, but Tic and Tac have been replaced by the
heroic "Dragonslayer" (aaack.) Contestant picks X or O and tries to find
a hidden 3 in a row or the dragonslayer to win a decent cash bonus and a
cheezy prize.
This show had a great premise, a great set, and, without a doubt, the most
infectious theme music of any game show ever, but Patrick Wayne did it in
with his ridiculous-sounding cries of "You BlOCK!" etc. After Wink Martindale
(god) left Tic Tac in 1985, I thought his replacement, Jim Caldwell, was the
worst host in game history. I now stand corrected. Watch the show anyway and
you'll be whistling along, as I have been for months.
3:00- "Press your Luck"
host: Peter Tomarken
original air: 1983-1986
Rating: **
COMMENTS: this show has been on USA the longest of all the games, which is why
I can't do an unbiased review: I'm sick of it! I'm sick of the 3-million-light
bulb set, I'm sick of the Whammies, I'm sick of those stupid 6-year-old's
poems, I'm sick of the whammies, I'm sick of the whammies, etc....
Please, USA. Let it die.
3:30- "Scrabble"
host: Chuck Woolery
original air: 1983-1989
RATING: *** 1/2
COMMENTS: the best new game show idea of the '80s, and it wasn't new. A hyped-
up, souped-up electronic version of the classic board game turned into a
haven for double-entendres the likes of which haven't been heard since Bob
Eubanks's heyday. Winners become a "King of the Hill" where they sit and
watch new challengers duke it out amongst themselves to see who the champ
gets to make look like a fool THIS time. 10 Wins won a player $40,000,
and with the "Scrabble Sprint Champion" aura that surrounded the successful,
it wasn't all that hard.
4:00- "The $25,000 Pyramid"
4:30- "The $100,000 Pyramid"
Host: Dick Clark
Original Air: 1983-1988 ($25K); 1985-1987 ($100K)
RATING: ****
I can't possibly do this show justice: "Password" was a masterpiece, but
"Pyramid" was better. Celebrities and contestants worked together in a fast-
paced word association game to win the right to scale the huge pyramid
looming behind them for as much as $25,000. (On the latter show, those who
were successful AND fast returned for a monthly tournament for an additional
$100,000.) I'm out of time, so I'll make this brief: If you only
watch one game show in the afternoon, make sure it's one of these two.
--
->>>>>>>>Chris L<<<<<<<<<<purveyor of filth, deceit, and seafood------------
|((((((((((((("You Can Say Anything with Words."-Robyn Hitchcock^^^^^^^^^^^|
|**"$ale of the Century" lives! M-F 1:30 PM, USA cable network.............|
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv
From: wlam...@silver.ucs.indiana.edu (> Chris L <)
Subject: REVIEW: The Games on FAM
Sender: ne...@usenet.ucs.indiana.edu (USENET News System)
Organization: Indiana University
to go along with my previous review of USA's afternoon game show lineup,
I will oblige the requests for a similar review of the Family Channel's
new 2 1/2 hr. block of game shows, which will grow into CBN's Game
Channel later this year. Please note, all times are Eastern, as they say
on C-SPAN
11:30 "Crosswits"
original air : 1986, syndicated
producers: Crossedwits Prods. with Outlet Communications, Ltd.
starring: David Sparks and Michelle Roth
RATING (out of 4): ***
THEME SONG RATING: *** 1/2
dehyphenated revival of the 1975 NBC show starring Jack Clark is notable
for its comparably serene state..this is one of the most low-key game
shows ever to hit the airwaves. 2 teams, each consisting of a contestant
and two celebrities, fill in words in a giant crossword puzzle for points.
Solving the topic that all the words relate to earns a bonus, and the team
with the most pts. after 3 rounds moves on to a two-tiered bonus game with
stakes of a new car and vacation, in reverse order. David Sparks keeps
this show prodding along with "gee-whiz, I'm on a game show" laid-back
humor and glibness, and although she was never shown on air, Roth is
the ultimate TV babe :) Not bad, but should you pass up "The Price Is
Right" for it? hmmmmm....
12:00 "Trivial Pursuit: the Interactive Game"
new show
producers: Martindale-Hillier entertainment/Family Channel
(although not officially noted, Feidler-Berlin productions helps)
Starring: Wink "yes, I am God" Martindale
RATING: * 1/2
THEME SONG RATING: *
well, what did you expect? approximately 10 minutes of this show is
devoted to the actual game, wherein 12 contestants punch keypads to
answer Wink's questions; after two rounds, 3 remaining contestants appear
on "Trivial Pursuit" (see next show.) the whole point of this game is to
do 3 of the day's 10 home viewer games, in which up to 1500 viewers
call a 900 number at $4.98 a pop for the right to move on to the grand
prize round with a payoff of a vacation.
12:30 "Trivial Pursuit"
new show
producers: same as above
starring: Wink "yes, I still am God" Martindale"
RATING: ** 1/2
THEME: * (same as above, wimpy)
now this is a show. 3 contestants from the previous show answer questions
in the famous Genus Edition categories to fill up their pie and a shot
at the bonus round, with a payoff a swell trip and $1000 in cash.
Some of the questions are ridiculously easy and the overall mood is
one of cheeziness, but hey, it's Wink. A story I read a few years back
had a picture that proved this show could have been a lot worse. By the
way, that British woman, Annette, that won the first day, was really cute.
1:00 "The New $100,000 Name That Tune"
original air: 1984
producers: Sandy Frank productions
starring: Jim Lange and the Tommy Oliver orchestra
RATING: *** 3/4
THEME: ****
the only thing bad you can say about this show is that it's somewhat dated.
Lots of the music will probably go over younger viewers' heads, but oldies
fans will relish the chance to match wits with 2 contestants in a variety
of tune-naming games with the ultimate goal being the monthly Tournament
of Champions worth over ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS!!!! including $10K
cash, a 45" TV and a new Fiero. don't forget Jim Lange, possibly the
greatest game show host of our time. Watch this, don't watch "Hollywood
Squares" on USA. Maybe Lisa Donovan could si..naaaahh.
1:30 "The All-New Let's Make A Deal"
original air: 1984-1986 (reran on USA from '86-'89)
producers: Hatos-Hall Productions
starring: Monty Hall, Dean Goss, Melanie Vincz (*sigh* Melanie)
and Karen LaPierre
what I say about "LMaD" will probably mean nothing. I doubt there's a
person alive that doesn't know about this show, and you either love it
or hate it. The main question is, do you watch this or USA's "$ale
of the Century"? Serious Question, dudes and babes. I can't even answer
it myself. "LMaD" ends at 1:55 to make room for the home viewer game's
grand prize round.
until next time, send me your game show questions...I guarantee I'll
either answer 'em or tell you "I dunno"....but I'll probably answer 'em.
Later!
--
->>>>>>>>>>>>Chris L...your Internet Friend<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<|Chris L Top 25
|"Crap, Sam, your desk smells like somebody puked in it!!"|weekly in rec.
| - Rebecca Howe |music.misc...
-----------------------------------------------------------what's out there
--
__ ......... wlambert #---------------------------------------------------
| . @nations. # I stand for game shows, alternative music, |
|__ hr!$ L! . ucs.indiana.# SportsCenter, and fine looking women. |
-------------- edu -------#---------------------------------------------------
Hat Putato
Kenny McCormack
Hat Putato <hatp...@gmail.com> wrote:
...
>Lord Tomarken?
--
Those on the right constantly remind us that America is not a
democracy; now they claim that Obama is a threat to democracy.
