The Weakest Link That Stole Christmas Ideas...
Chris Wolvie
it was a very BUSY week. Besides, why NOT post about a Christmas
episode ON Christmas Day? That's my story and I'm sticking to it!
Here are the 8 contestants who will take part in tonight's show. One
of them will walk away with up to $1 million. The rest will leave
with nothing as round by round they are voted off as...
THE WEAKEST LINK! (Holiday Edition)
===================================
OK, remember when they dressed up the contestants as classic monsters
for Halloween? Well, they've done it again. THIS time, they dressed
them up as various (non-religious and non-copywrited) holiday
characters:
Contestants:
(Name, Age, Location, Occupation/Charity (Character))
SAL, 46, Boston MA, Transit Police Officer (Santa)
KATHRYN, 28, Burnsville MN, High School Teacher (Mrs. Claus)
ZANDREA, 29, Rydell PA, Contract Attorney (Christmas Tree)
MARK, 29, Utica NY, Staff Sgt., U.S. Marine Corps (Wooden Soldier)
KATE, 27, Atlanta GA, Retail Store Manager (Elf)
JOHN, 31, Manhattan Beach CA, Assistant Director (Father Time)
HEIDI, 20, Santa Barbara CA, Resident Physician (Snow Queen)
J.R., 38, Los Angeles CA, Sign Language Interpreter (Reindeer)
And, no, Anne was NOT dressed as either the Grinch or Ebnezeer
Scrooge.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
ROUND 1 2 minutes, 30 seconds
Money banked: $17,500
Chains banked: 5
SAL : 2 right, 1 wrong
KATHRYN : 3 right, 0 wrong
ZANDREA : 2 right, 1 wrong, 1 chains
MARK : 1 right, 2 wrong, 1 chains *WEAKEST LINK*
KATE : 3 right, 0 wrong, 1 chains *STRONGEST LINK*
JOHN : 2 right, 0 wrong
HEIDI : 2 right, 0 wrong, 1 chains
J.R. : 1 right, 1 wrong, 1 chains
(They got the first 8 questions right! Panic-banking strikes again!)
"Who's the lump of coal in the stocking? Who is defenitely NOT one of
the Three Wise Men?"
SAL : MARK
KATHRYN : MARK
ZANDREA : J.R.
MARK : J.R.
KATE : J.R.
JOHN : KATHRYN
HEIDI : J.R.
J.R. : ZANDREA
Anne: "Kate,...remind me of what you do."
Kate: "I am a retail store manager."
Anne: "Where?"
Kate: "Atlanta, Georgia?"
Anne: "Where?"
Kate: "In the mall."
Anne: "In the mall!"
Kate: "In the mall!"
Anne: "Were you not gonna share that with us, Kate?"
Kate: "I'm sorry?"
Anne: "Were you not gonna share that bit with us?"
Kate: "I'm not embarrassed. It's in the mall. I work in the mall."
Anne: "Did you go to college?"
Kate: "Yes, I did."
Anne: "Did you get a degree?"
Kate: "I sure did."
Anne: "In what?"
Kate: "Mechanical enginerring."
Anne: "Oh, that must be VERY useful in the mall. Why J.R.?"
Kate: "His get-up...it scares me a little bit 'cause it's just
kinda...it's frightening. And, earlier, whe I asked if I could ride
him, he said no. He said that only...elves don't ride reindeer, only
Santa gets to ride the reindeer and that was it."
Anne: "You voted him off because J.R. the reindeer said you couldn't
ride him."
Kate: "Yes."
Anne: "Zandrea,...you hanging in there? [Zandrea's the tree,
remember?]"
Zandrea: "I'm trying."
Anne: "What do you do?"
Zandrea: "I'm a contract attorney."
Anne: "You're an attorney? Have you passed all the exams?"
Zandrea: "Why you gotta GO there, Anne? Why you gotta go there? I
have not yet passed the exam yet."
Anne: "Oh, so you're not a REAL attorney?"
Zandrea: "Are you a real game-show host?" [Glancing blow to Anne that
she barely notices...since she IS a real game-show host!]
Anne: "Which exams have you not passed?"
Zandrea: "That would be the, um, the Bar Exam."
Anne: "'That would be the Bar Exam.' That's a bit IMPORTANT, isn't
it, if you want to describe yourself as an attorney?"
Zandrea: "It helps. It helps."
Anne: "I think we've heard enough. Mark,...you look as if you're
enjoying wearing that lipstick."
Mark: "I thought it looked better on YOU, Anne."
Anne: "So, why did J.R. upset you?"
Mark: "Well, I think he's got a lot of reindeer games that he needs to
go to and leave the money making to the rest of us."
Anne: "OK. J.R., who wouldn't let Kate ride him...no reindeer games
here. With 4 votes, you ARE the 'weakest link'. Good-bye."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
ROUND 2 2 minutes, 20 seconds
Money banked: $7,500
Chains banked: 2
SAL : 2 right, 1 wrong
KATHRYN : 2 right, 1 wrong
ZANDREA : 3 right, 0 wrong, 1 chains *STRONGEST LINK* *BANKED MOST*
MARK : 1 right, 1 wrong, 1 chains
KATE : 1 right, 2 wrong *WEAKEST LINK*
JOHN : 1 right, 2 wrong
HEIDI : 2 right, 1 wrong
"Whose chestnuts deserve to be roasted over an open fire? Who's mind
is one foggy Christmas eve?"
SAL : HEIDI
KATHRYN : JOHN
ZANDREA : JOHN
MARK : SAL
KATE : JOHN
JOHN : HEIDI
HEIDI : JOHN
Anne: "Heidi,...how do you think you're doing?"
Heidi: "OK."
Anne: "You're a doctor?"
Heidi: "Yes."
Anne: "Does it daunt you being a doctor?"
Heidi: "Yes."
Anne: "What daunts you most?"
Heidi: "The blood."
Anne: "Is that a bit of a DRAWBACK for a doctor?"
Heidi: "When I'm fainting, yes."
Anne: "You do a lot of fainting, do you?"
Heidi: "Yes."
Anne: "How bright are you?"
Heidi: "Right now, VERY bright. (shows off her bright white outfit)"
Anne: "But how bright is your BRAIN?"
Heidi: "Some days it's brighter than others."
Anne: "Have you had it tested?"
Heidi: "Actually, I have."
Anne: "Oh, you HAVE, have you, Dr. Heidi? How do you test the brain?"
Heidi: "An I.Q. test."
Anne: "Who did that for you?"
Heidi: "A psychologist."
Anne: "A psychol...you PAID a psychologist?"
Heidi: "_I_ didn't."
Anne: "Who did?"
Heidi: "Uh, the organization that I was going to be joining."
Anne: "And what might THAT have been called?"
Heidi: "It was MENSA."
Anne: "Oh, MENSA. Are you a member of MENSA?"
Heidi: "Yes."
Anne: "So every year you pay this organization some money just so long
as they continue to tell you you're bright."
Heidi: "Yes. This year they might be cutting me out. I'm not sure."
Anne: "OK, why John?"
Heidi: "Well,...I treat kids and this is an old man [John is Father
Time] and he doesn't know anything about Winnie the Pooh [John thought
Kanga was the mother of Piglet, not Roo]. I don't know what else to
do. I had to vote him off."
Anne: "Kathryn, the high school teacher,...how do you think you've
done so far in the game?"
Kathryn: "Oh, I've done reasonably well."
Anne: "Why John?"
Kathryn: "Um, he tried to vote me off, undeservably, in the first
round and, as luck would have it, I think he was the 'weakest link'
this round."
Anne: "Oh, I see. You're a MEAN teacher! Did you think he was the
'weakest link'?"
Kathryn: "Yup, I do."
Anne: "Oh, so she's a mean teacher who doesn't quite get the hang of
who was the worst player...DOES she, Kate?"
Kate: "No, ma'am."
Anne: "Kate, who is the smartest person in the mall in Atlanta,
Georgia...what HAPPENED to you? You started to be the 'strongest
link' in the first round, and you've tummelted down to be the 'WEAKEST
link'."
Kate: "These tights, they're riding up!"
Anne: "Well, Kate was the worst player statistically, but it's votes
that count. John, with 4 votes, imagine the clock has struck, your
time is up, you ARE the 'weakest link'. Good-bye."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
ROUND 3 2 minutes, 10 seconds
Money banked: $10,000
Chains banked: 2
SAL : 3 right, 0 wrong *STRONGEST LINK*
KATHRYN : 2 right, 1 wrong, 1 chains
ZANDREA : 2 right, 2 wrong, 1 chains
MARK : 1 right, 2 wrong
KATE : 1 right, 2 wrong *WEAKEST LINK*
HEIDI : 2 right, 1 wrong
"Whose brain is clearly away in a manger?"
SAL : KATE
KATHRYN : MARK
ZANDREA : MARK
MARK : ZANDREA
KATE : MARK
HEIDI : MARK
Anne: "Zandrea,...why Mark?"
Zandrea: "Because I thought he answered a lot of questions wrong."
Anne: "You keen on getting rid of the guys? [She knew what was going
on...]"
Zandrea: "No, it's just I'm keen on getting rid of who's weak."
Anne: "OK. "Brains" Heidi,...why Mark?"
Heidi: "I can't remember. No, I have to be a little suspicious of any
man whose cheeks are redder than mine."
Anne: "You trying to get rid of the guys?"
Heidi: "No, just players who got questions wrong."
Anne: "But you're not voting for the 'weakest link' statistically in
any round."
Heidi: "Well, I probably CAN'T vote for myself on this one, so..."
Anne: "Ah, you thought YOU were the 'weakest link'?"
Heidi: "I can't remember."
Anne: "But you WEREN'T...because it wasn't a SURPRISING 'weakest
link'. It was KATE who was, statistically, the worst player...the
queen of the mall. But it's votes that count. Mark, it's time for
you to wind up and march off because, with 4 votes, you ARE the
'weakest link'. Good-bye."
[And, indeed, Mark made the Walk Of Shame like a wooden soldier
would.]
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
ROUND 4 2 minutes even
Money banked: $10,000
Chains banked: 3
SAL : 3 right, 1 wrong, 1 chains
KATHRYN : 3 right, 0 wrong *STRONGEST LINK*
ZANDREA : 2 right, 1 wrong, 1 chains
KATE : 1 right, 2 wrong, 1 chains *WEAKEST LINK*
HEIDI : 2 right, 1 wrong
"Who's the bump on your Yule log? Who is not giving us Christmas
cheer? Who needs a good 'flocking'?"
SAL : KATE
KATHRYN : KATE
ZANDREA : SAL
KATE : SAL
HEIDI : SAL
Anne: "Zandrea,...what's the greatest quality you need to be a lawyer?
Not that you ARE one properly yet..."
Zandrea: "(after some thought) Patience."
Anne: "Next quality?"
Zandrea: "Listening comprehension."
Anne: "How long before you say 'integrity'? How long before you say
'honesty' and 'fairness'?"
Zandrea: "Oh, those were right there. I was right there with that.
that was my next answer."
Anne: "So explain to me...why you're voting off Father Christmas
(British name for Santa)."
Zandrea: "Well, last year, I didn't get anything good in my stocking
so I'm taking it out on Santa."
Anne: "Do you think that Sal...has been one of the weaker players?"
Zandrea: "No, I think Sal has been one of the STRONGER players, I'm
sure."
Anne: "Then why are you voting him off? Are you a very scared wannabe
lawyer who can't bear competition?"
Zandrea: "Not at all. I welcome competition, ma'am. Bring it on."
Anne: "So why are you sending off one of the strongest players,
Zandrea?"
Zandrea: "Well, Anne, y'know, what ELSE is important in the game is
strategy. And, um, I think that sometimes the men have to go."
Anne: "Dr. Heidi, star of MENSA,...do you have a problem with men?"
Heidi: "No."
Anne: "Would you explain to us why you are voting off one of the
strongest players?"
Heidi: "I...it's a constant distraction. I think, y'know, that I have
to be...nice or naughty or whatever or one or the other. And, it's
just...too confusing."
Anne: "Kate, statistically, you were the worst player. Why have you
voted off Sal?"
Kate: "Honestly, I have no reason. I can't...I know what you're
trying to get at and it's true and it's an alliance and I'm sorry and
it's peer pressure and I know I should've gone, like, three rounds ago
and I'm sorry and I'm sorry but I just, like, felt if I just broke it
that it would be just...I would be gone and I wanna BE here still. I
wanna play."
Anne: "Well, the elf confesses! The tree wouldn't...the fairy
didn't...but the elf did. Sal, what can I say...it's ho-ho-home!
With 3 votes, you ARE the 'weakest link'. Good-bye."
Sal: (as he leaves, to Zandrea) "You thought LAST year was bad! (to
Anne) Merry Christmas, Anne."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
ROUND 5 1 minute, 50 seconds
Money banked: $8,500
Chains banked: 3
KATHRYN : 4 right, 0 wrong, 1 chains *STRONGEST LINK* *BANKED MOST*
ZANDREA : 2 right, 2 wrong, 2 chains
KATE : 1 right, 3 wrong *WEAKEST LINK*
HEIDI : 2 right, 1 wrong
(Again, eight answers right in a row! ARRRRGH!)
"I urge you: free up the fruit cake, wrap up the reject, exchange the
idiot!"
KATHRYN : KATE
ZANDREA : KATE
KATE : HEIDI
HEIDI : ZANDREA
Anne: "Kathryn,...why Kate?"
Kathryn: "I felt that she was the 'weakest link' last round and this
round, so..."
Anne: "Oh, you're suddenly deciding to do it statistically, are you?"
Kathryn: "The game moves fast. It's hard to remember who was the
'weakest link', but...gotta go with who you think it is."
Anne: "Zandrea, why Kate?"
Zandrea: "Um, Kate was the 'weakest link'."
Anne: "Was it 'cause she confessed?"
Zandrea: "That's part of it also."
Anne: "Kate confessed to the conspiracy that you were planning to get
rid of the guys first. And, now, you're sacrificing her."
Zandrea: "Gotta go, gotta go."
Anne: "Kate, it's time to get the elf out of here! With 2 votes, you
ARE the 'weakest link'. Good-bye."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
ROUND 6 1 minute, 40 seconds
Money banked: $10,000
Chains banked: 3
KATHRYN : 4 right, 0 wrong, 1 chains*STRONGEST LINK**BANKED MOST*
ZANDREA : 3 right, 1 wrong, 1 chains
HEIDI : 2 right, 1 wrong, 1 chains *WEAKEST LINK*
"Who are you gonna hang on to and who are you gonna get rid of?"
KATHRYN : ZANDREA
ZANDREA : HEIDI
HEIDI : ZANDREA
Anne: "Kathryn, why Zandrea?"
Kathryn: "I felt she was the weaker of the two and that Heidi and I
can make more money in the next round together."
Anne: "Heidi, why Zandrea?"
Heidi: "I'm afraid of her."
Anne: "That's more honest. Zandrea, with 2 votes, you ARE the
'weakest link'. Good-bye."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
ROUND 7 1 minute, 30 seconds
(DOUBLE ROUND)
Money banked: $2,000 (doubled to $4,000)
Chains banked: 2
KATHRYN : 4 right, 2 wrong
HEIDI : 1 right, 4 wrong, 2 chains *BANKED MOST*
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
FINAL ROUND (BANKED GRAND TOTAL: $67,500)
Kathryn, being 'strongest link' of Round 7, elects to go first
KATHRYN - Q: In geography, what is the northernmost U.S. state to
border Canada?
A: Alaska (correct)
HEIDI - Q: What Looney Tunes voice-over artist has a tombstone
epitaph that reads, "That's All, Folks"?
A: Walt Disney (incorrect; Mel Blanc)
KATHRYN - Q: "Character, Courage and Loyalty" is the motto for what
U.S. baseball program for kids
A: Little League (correct)
HEIDI - Q: In World War II, the Axis included Germany, Italy and
which Asian country?
A: Japan (correct)
KATHRYN - Q: George Pullman created a sleeping car for what mode of
transportation?
A: Railroad (correct [trains or railroad acceptable])
HEIDI - Q: In the Book of Genesis, what two sinful cities were
destroyed by brimstone and fire because of their
wickedness?
A: Jeruselam and Jericho (incorrect; Sodom and Gemorrah)
KATHRYN - Q: Which Roman goddess of the dawn gives her name to the
Northern and the Southern Lights?
A: Aurora (correct)
1 2 3 4 5
KATHRYN O O O O .
HEIDI X O X . .
Kathryn is the Strongest Link and leaves with $67,500!
Heidi...leaves...with NOTHING!
NOTES:
Nice to see they've gotten the celeb eps out of their system and have
reverted back to normal. Or, at least, the LAST show was normal.
THIS one was just WEIRD!
Please note, though, that, though the girls were aligned against the
guys, "Mrs. Claus" did NOT vote "Santa" off in Round 4. "Marriage" is
thicker than girl power, huh?
Twice...TWICE, they coulda had $125,000. This is the monster of this
game; no one is EVER confident enough in their own knowledge that they
can risk the pot.
In conclusion,...a kangaroo can be mother to a Piglet?!
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Join us next time for another review of "Weakest Link". Happy
Christmas to all and to all... *wink*... good-bye.