SCS Millionaire 06/21/2001
Steven Sousa
In the fall, when ABC drops down to only two showings of Millionaire per
week, we will have more recappers than shows. Also, in the fall I will be
starting part time graduate school, which in addition to my full time job,
the novel I just started writing, and my wonderfully fulfilling family life,
will take up just about all of my time. So in the fall, I will be ceasing my
weekly recapping duties.
This was not an easy decision to make, as I really enjoy doing this, and it
is only two hours a week of my time, but I think it's the right decision.
*sniff* I promised myself I won't cry. *sniff* Let's get right to the recap.
Last time:
Kyong! 300 Dollars!
Having waited through the special Fathers' edition, Kyong is back. Regis
hypes the $500,000 win from last week. She is a graduate student at
UMinnesota going for a Master's in English. (Mine will be a Master's in
Probability and Statistical Analysis. I'll be able to prove in eight
different ways that current Red Sox manager Jimy Williams is a complete dolt
for ever allowing Darren Lewis to start in Center Field.)
Kyong is trying to start a new travel magazine. Thank goodness. There just
aren't enough of THOSE in this world. Reege is introduced to Seege. Kyong is
planning to teach, and write fiction. (She doesn't say what genre, but I
write Science Fiction with a humorous leaning. The present book is a cross
between the late Douglas Adams and the late Philip K. Dick. I'm also working
on a screenplay with my best friend. It will be interesting to see which
gets finished first.)
A bunch of seamen from John F. Kennedy are in the audience. Heh heh.
Kyong is two questions away from a First Five Sweep. LET'S PLAY!
$500: What is the slang term for the child of someone with a career in the
army?
A: Army brat B: Troop tot C: Army grunt D: Combat kid.
Army brat.
LM: In the tale "Rumplelstiltskin," the king demands that the miller's
daughter spin straw into what?
A: Ivory B: Gold C: Silver D: Diamonds E: A straw sweater
A thousand dollars worth of gold! F5S!
$2000: In the classic TV commercial, what actor dares viewers to knock an
Eveready battery off his shoulder?
A: Steve McQueen B: Lee Marvin C: Telly Savalas D: Robert Conrad
Robert Conrad.
$4000: In a steeplechase, competitors race on which of the following?
A: Horses B: Motorboats C: Dogs D: Bicycles E: Steeples
Horses.
$8000: In mathematics, which of these terms describes the reference line on
a graph, usually labeled "x" or "y"?
A: Cosine B: Algorithm C: Axis D: Base
She's going to use the 50:50. It leaves the two answers that start with A.
She quickly says Axis.
Axis it was!
$16000: Who starred as C.J. Parker in the T.V. series "Baywatch"?
A: Donna D'Errico B: Pamela Anderson C: Michael Bergin D: Carmen
Electra
Kyong says she's 80% sure of Pamela Anderson. She'll ask the audience.
HORRIBLE STRATEGY ALERT! They agree with her initial thought. THEY ALWAYS
DO! 4-88-5-3.
Wasted lifeline.
Big Milestone when we return.
A dad, sharing horrible food with his daughter and the second most evil
clown in history. The official ranking:
1. Pennywise (Stephen King's IT)
2. Ronald McDonald
3. Doink (WWF)
4. Bozo
5. Bob-o (Weird Al's UHF)
6. I can't think of any other clowns of the top of my head.
Reege thinks Kyong is a cutie. He asks her if she has a boyfriend. She
doesn't, but she does have an ex-husband and a four-year-old. Reege thinks
she looks too young. She says she gets that all the time. She calls herself
"the female version of Ralph Macchio" because she looks so much younger than
31.
That's funny, I always thought Ralph Macchio was the female version of Ralph
Macchio.
BM: What vegetable is also called a pieplant?
A: Broccoli B: Sweet potato (I love you!) C: Artichoke D: Rhubarb
She knows you can make a rhubarb pie, as well as a sweet potato pie. I
prefer the latter (I love you!) Regis suggests a phone a friend. She'll call
Terry, her boss at the restaurant where she works. He thinks she says
"tieplant," until Regis helps her out and gets her to spell it out. She says
it's pie, but Terry doesn't know.
She's going to go for it, even though she's not sure. She's going to make
rhubarb her final answer.
Rhubarb turns yellow.
and...
for $32,000 or $1,000...
Rhubarb turns green!
$64,000: What classic sci-fi novel features a race of beautiful, decadent
people called the Eloi?
A: I, Robot B: The Martian Chronicles C: Dune D: The Time Machine
Kyong has a guess. With nothing to lose, she'll say Dune. The correct answer
was The Time Machine.
AND THEY ARE:
Jimmy Duchaney, South Weymouth, MA This must be a phone episode.
John Baukol, Walnut Creek, CA
Paula Esquijarosa, Miami, FL
Chris Brazelton, Pahrump, NV
Peter Hilts, Wilmington, NC
Paul Gottschlich, Thornon, CO
Ed Eason, Conway, AR
Ellen Cutler, Aberdeen, MD
Deneise Fultz, Middleburg, PA
Jackie Fogus, Dallas, TX
FFF: Put these TV series in order by their original debut, starting with the
earliest.
A: The Job B: Nash Bridges
C: Hill Street Blues D: Law and Order
CDBA is correct. Only two got it correct, Ellen Cutler beating out John
Baukol, 6.16 to 7.48 seconds.
Ellen is a freelance writer, working out of her home. So am I!
Unfortunately, I don't get paid for this. She has lately been writing
passages for reading comprehension tests, as well as entries for a women's
encyclopedia.
$100: What device is used to calculate the fare in most taxicabs?
B: Meter
$200: The process of removing the bones from a fish is called what?
A: Filleting
$300: According to a common phrase, whose advocate are you playing if you
argue a position that you do not necessarily agree with?
B: Devil's, not E: Steven Sousa's
$500: Which of the following words has all its letters in alphabetical
order?
A: Almost B: Forgetful C: Liquefy D: Aardvark
Almost.
. o O (The longest such word in the English language: aegilops)
. o O ( The longest reverse-alphabetical word: trollied)
LM: On the TV series "The Andy Griffith Show," what is Andy's job?
A: Bank President B: Schoolteacher C: Gardner D: Town Sheriff
Sheriff gets Ellen the F5S!
Commercials.
One-A-Day will give you the confidence to challenge Pete Sampras! I'll buy
that, if it's on clay.
Bob Patterson looks like it'll be a funny show.
Ellen's son Jay is with her. He's just starting college. Her strategy for
winning is to not forget to breathe. That's just good advice for anyone.
$2000: What does the Spanish question "Como esta usted?" mean in English?
A: How Are You? B: What is it? (It's it.) C: What is your name? D:
What time is it?
My keyboard doesn't have an upside-down question mark, but I would have
expected that they would have included one. They also omitted the accent
mark which should appear over the "a" in esta.
Having recently gone to Madrid, she knows it means How Are You.
$4000: In 1985, Little Steven's song "Sun City" was written to protest the
racial policies of what country?
A: China B: Ethiopia C: South Africa D: India
I think "The United States" would have been a great wrong answer.
Ellen will poll the audience. South Africa wins, 25-14-54-7. She was leaning
that way already, so she'll agree with the audience, after blatantly sucking
up to them.
They were right!
$8000: What drink is named after an order of monks?
A: Cappuccino B: Espresso C: Mocha D: Chai
She knows cappuccino was named after the brown robes worn by some monks
somewhere.
Correct.
$16000: What scientific property is measured in hertz? (Hertz should always
be capitalized!)
A: Frequency B: Pressure C: Conductivity D: Density
She says frequency, which is correct.
BM: Born in 1766, English economist Robert Malthus is famous for his
theories on what subject?
A: Currency valuations B: Population growth C: Organized labor D:
Consumer habits
As a Junior in high school, her history teacher taught her all about
Malthus' theory that wealthy people have more children, so she'll say
Population growth.
$32,000 is hers!
$64000: Who's 2001 book is subtitled "Cool Rules for School"?
A: Fred Rogers B: Judy Sheindlin C: Rosie O'Donnell D: Bill Cosby
I'll admit that my previous two corrections may have been on the nit-picky
side, but whoever was responsible for proofreading THAT question should be
fired. Who's instead of whose is just embarrassing.
Ellen the freelance writer doesn't skewer the question. She asks for the
50:50. It leaves Mr. Rogers and Judge Judy. Ellen thinks out loud that Judge
Judy has been writing children's books lately, and that "Cool Rules for
School" sounds decidedly un-Mr. Rogers-like. She'll take her free guess at
Judge Judy.
And my parents' favorite TV star...
is the correct answer!
Vioxx can provide 24 hour relief to the demographic that ABC doesn't care
about.
Ellen is feeling overwhelmed.
$125000: The protrusion of cartilage that projects in front of the external
opening of the human ear is called what?
A: Capitula B: Tragus C: Procerus D: Resilium
She will have to phone a friend. Dan is retired, and knows a lot about a
lot. He sounds very relaxed. Dan has no idea whatsoever. She'll walk. The
correct answer is Tragus.
FFF: Put these songs in order by the year they were first released, starting
with the earliest.
A: Losing My Religion B: Baby One More Time
C: Addicted To Love D: Rock With You
DCAB. Again only two got it right. Two women, so the streak will grow to
six. Deneise Fultz beats out Paula Esquijarosa 8.80 to 9.16
Deneise is a dead ringer for Linda Ellerbee. She's a part time clerk in an
accounting firm, and being in the hot seat has got her so emotional that her
mascara is running.
LET'S PLAY!
$100: Which of the following happens to Ric Flair's hair when it is
bleached?
A: Gets lighter in color.
$200: By definition, a long-winded person tends to do too much what?
B: Talking, not E: farting.
$300: According to a classic show tune, "The sun'll come out" when?
A: Tomorrow.
$500: What TV brand name is a synonym for the word "summit"?
A: Panasonic B: Zenith C: Sharp D: Toshiba.
She will play it safe and ask the audience. Would someone please get her
some Kleenex? The audience votes for Zenith, 12-73-7-8. She'll agree with
them.
The audience was right.
When we return, Deneise will go for the Little Milestone!
If you're an ABC programming executive who thinks that a pseudo-game show
hosted by Pee Wee Herman has a chance in hell of being a success, YOU DON'T
KNOW JACK!!
A makeup person has cleaned Deneise up. Her husband Roger is with her. He's
a Pennsylvania State Trooper. They've been married for 18 years.
LM: In a standard chess set, what piece resembles a horse?
A: Pawn B: Rook C: Knight D: Bishop
Knight locks in $1,000.
$2000: Jambalaya is a dish associated with what type of cuisine?
A: Creole B: Mexican C: Indian D: Thai
Creole.
$4000: The Reconstruction period of American history occurred immediately
after what event?
A: WWI B: Civil War C: Revolutionary War D: WWII
Civil.
$8000: The Ural Mountains are primarily located in what country?
A: Turkey B: China C: Russia D: Afghanistan
She doesn't think its Turkey or China. It might be Russia. She think's she
going to phone a friend. I think she's going to have nervous breakdown in
front of the entire country. Steve was her fourth grade teacher. She reads
him the question, then tells him that he is a "ell." Or she may have been
spelling the word "Ural." At the last second, Steve guesses Turkey, which
Deneise had ruled out.
She'll use 50:50. Russia remains, along with Afghanistan. So much for
Steve's guess. She'll go with Russia.
Yes!
$16000: What TV series features an alien from the planet Melmac?
A: Mork & Mindy B: My Favorite Martian (Duh!) C: ALF D: Roswell.
ALF.
One last set of commercials. I hope someone gives Deneise a valium before
she goes for the Big Milestone.
In case you didn't hear the news, Jerri from Survivor has agreed to appear
in Playboy. People are using that as further proof of her immorality. Why
are Americans so screwed up about nudity?
She'll give some of her money to Cancer research if she wins. If she wins a
million, she wants to buy her daughter a new car for her 16th birthday.
BM: In the 1964 movie children's book "Harriet the Spy," what does Harriet
aspire to be?
A: Dancer B: Scientist C: Musician D: Writer
Writer. Final Answer.
She's got it!
$64000: The spiky American desert plant Agave americana is also known by
which of these names?
A: Century plant B: Snake plant C: Pitcher plant D: Sensitive plant
With her free guess, she'll say Snake plant.
It was Century plant.
Time for one more FFF.
FFF: Put these major European cities in geographic order, starting in the
Atlantic Ocean and going east.
A: Florence B: Budapest
C: Barcelona D: Minsk
CABD is right. Chris Brazelton breaks the streak of six consecutive women
with his time of 6.28 seconds.
Chris is a chef in a casino. No time for small talk.
$100: In airplane bathrooms, federal law prohibita tampering with what?
A: Smoke detector
$200: Which of the following phrases means "a narrow escape"?
C: Close shave
$300: A futon normally serves as both a bed and a what?
B: Couch
$500: What is the hockey term for when a player uses his body to block an
opponent by bumping into him?
C: Check.
LM: What is the English translation of "soup du jour"?
A: Tomato soup. B: Soup of the day C: Chef's special soup D: Soup
with meat.
From Dumb and Dumber:
Lloyd Christmas: Excuse me, miss, what's the soup du jour?
Waitress: The Soup of the Day.
Lloyd Christmas: Mmmm...sounds good, think I'll have that.
AH-WHOOOOOOOOOO!
Steven Sousa
Eric Hoover
>
> A dad, sharing horrible food with his daughter and the second most evil
> clown in history. The official ranking:
>
> 1. Pennywise (Stephen King's IT)
> 2. Ronald McDonald
> 3. Doink (WWF)
> 4. Bozo
> 5. Bob-o (Weird Al's UHF)
> 6. I can't think of any other clowns of the top of my head.
>
You forgot a biggie, John Wayne Gacy in his clown outfit.
Dean Scungio
Steven Sousa <ae...@aurora.mv.com.XYZ> wrote in message
news:9h2idq$f09$1...@pyrite.mv.net...
> I think it's time to make the announcement.
>
> In the fall, when ABC drops down to only two showings of Millionaire per
> week,
. o O ( The current ABC fall schedule has WWTBAM airing on Monday and
Thursday nights. )
> we will have more recappers than shows. Also, in the fall I will be
> starting part time graduate school, which in addition to my full time job,
> the novel I just started writing, and my wonderfully fulfilling family
life,
> will take up just about all of my time. So in the fall, I will be ceasing
my
> weekly recapping duties.
>
> This was not an easy decision to make, as I really enjoy doing this, and
it
> is only two hours a week of my time, but I think it's the right decision.
>
> *sniff* I promised myself I won't cry. *sniff* Let's get right to the
recap.
>
> Last time:
>
> Kyong! 300 Dollars!
>
> Having waited through the special Fathers' edition, Kyong is back. Regis
> hypes the $500,000 win from last week.
. o O ( Last Thursday on June 14, Mary Burke became the third woman to win
$500,000. )
. o O ( ...excluding special editions. )
> She is a graduate student at
> UMinnesota going for a Master's in English. (Mine will be a Master's in
> Probability and Statistical Analysis. I'll be able to prove in eight
> different ways that current Red Sox manager Jimy Williams is a complete
dolt
> for ever allowing Darren Lewis to start in Center Field.)
>
> Kyong is trying to start a new travel magazine. Thank goodness. There just
> aren't enough of THOSE in this world. Reege is introduced to Seege. Kyong
is
> planning to teach, and write fiction. (She doesn't say what genre, but I
> write Science Fiction with a humorous leaning. The present book is a cross
> between the late Douglas Adams and the late Philip K. Dick.
. o O ( Douglas Adams was best known for his book "The Hitchhiker's Guide to
the Galaxy". )
. o O ( Philip K. Dick wrote "We Can Remember it For You Wholesale" and "Do
Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?"... )
. o O ( ...which later became the movies "Total Recall" and "Blade Runner",
respectively. )
> I'm also working on a screenplay with my best friend.
. o O ( Best friends Ben Affleck and Matt Damon wrote the Academy
Award-winning screenplay for "Good Will Hunting". )
> It will be interesting to see which gets finished first.)
>
> A bunch of seamen from John F. Kennedy are in the audience. Heh heh.
>
. o O ( The USS John F. Kennedy has a total of over 5,000 seamen on it. )
> Kyong is two questions away from a First Five Sweep. LET'S PLAY!
>
> $500: What is the slang term for the child of someone with a career in the
> army?
> A: Army brat B: Troop tot C: Army grunt D: Combat kid.
>
> Army brat.
>
> LM: In the tale "Rumplelstiltskin," the king demands that the miller's
> daughter spin straw into what?
> A: Ivory B: Gold C: Silver D: Diamonds E: A straw sweater
>
> A thousand dollars worth of gold!
. o O ( ...weighs about 3.65 troy ounces. )
> F5S!
>
> $2000: In the classic TV commercial, what actor dares viewers to knock an
> Eveready battery off his shoulder?
> A: Steve McQueen B: Lee Marvin C: Telly Savalas D: Robert Conrad
>
> Robert Conrad.
>
. o O ( No one ever did. )
> $4000: In a steeplechase, competitors race on which of the following?
> A: Horses B: Motorboats C: Dogs D: Bicycles E: Steeples
>
. o O ( The steeplechase got its name from the use of church steeples as
landmarks. )
> Horses.
>
. o O ( The steeplechase is also a track and field event. )
. o O ( It's a 3,000-meter race with four hurdles and a water jump in each
lap. )
> $8000: In mathematics, which of these terms describes the reference line
on
> a graph, usually labeled "x" or "y"?
> A: Cosine B: Algorithm C: Axis D: Base
>
> She's going to use the 50:50. It leaves the two answers that start with A.
> She quickly says Axis.
>
> Axis it was!
>
. o O ( The countries of Germany, Italy and Japan were collectively known as
the Axis powers during World War II. )
. o O ( "Axes" is the plural of axis. )
. o O ( A 2-D graph is labeled with the X and Y axes. )
. o O ( A 3-D graph uses an extra Z axis. )
> $16000: Who starred as C.J. Parker in the T.V. series "Baywatch"?
> A: Donna D'Errico B: Pamela Anderson C: Michael Bergin D: Carmen
> Electra
>
> Kyong says she's 80% sure of Pamela Anderson. She'll ask the audience.
> HORRIBLE STRATEGY ALERT! They agree with her initial thought. THEY ALWAYS
> DO!
. o O ( WWTBAM strategy states to never give your thoughts of an answer
before Asking the Audience. )
. o O ( It is believed that your thoughts will influence the audience
vote. )
> 4-88-5-3.
>
> Wasted lifeline.
>
. o O ( Pamela Anderson was on "Baywatch" from 1992 to 1997. )
. o O ( Donna D'Errico: Donna Marco, 1996-1998 )
. o O ( Michael Bergin: Jack "J.D." Darius, 1997-2001 )
. o O ( Carmen Electra: Lani McKensie, 1997-1998 )
> Big Milestone when we return.
>
> A dad, sharing horrible food with his daughter and the second most evil
> clown in history. The official ranking:
>
> 1. Pennywise (Stephen King's IT)
> 2. Ronald McDonald
> 3. Doink (WWF)
> 4. Bozo
> 5. Bob-o (Weird Al's UHF)
> 6. I can't think of any other clowns of the top of my head.
>
. o O ( Circus clown Emmett Kelly, Sr.'s Weary Willy )
. o O ( Krusty the Clown from "The Simpsons" )
. o O ( Homie the Clown from "In Living Color" )
. o O ( Early animated character Koko the Clown )
. o O ( Clarabelle Hornblow from "The Howdy Doody Show" )
. o O ( Bobcat Goldthwait as "Shakes the Clown" (1991 film) )
> Reege thinks Kyong is a cutie. He asks her if she has a boyfriend. She
> doesn't, but she does have an ex-husband and a four-year-old. Reege thinks
> she looks too young. She says she gets that all the time. She calls
herself
> "the female version of Ralph Macchio" because she looks so much younger
than
> 31.
>
. o O ( Ralph Macchio is currently 39. )
> That's funny, I always thought Ralph Macchio was the female version of
Ralph
> Macchio.
>
> BM: What vegetable is also called a pieplant?
> A: Broccoli B: Sweet potato (I love you!) C: Artichoke D: Rhubarb
>
> She knows you can make a rhubarb pie, as well as a sweet potato pie. I
> prefer the latter (I love you!) Regis suggests a phone a friend. She'll
call
> Terry, her boss at the restaurant where she works. He thinks she says
> "tieplant," until Regis helps her out and gets her to spell it out. She
says
> it's pie, but Terry doesn't know.
>
> She's going to go for it, even though she's not sure. She's going to make
> rhubarb her final answer.
>
> Rhubarb turns yellow.
>
> and...
>
> for $32,000 or $1,000...
>
> Rhubarb turns green!
>
. o O ( So named because of its many uses in pies, tarts and sauces. )
. o O ( Over 50 recipes for rhubarb pies here: )
. o O ( http://www.rhubarbinfo.com/recipes/pie/index.htm )
> $64,000: What classic sci-fi novel features a race of beautiful, decadent
> people called the Eloi?
> A: I, Robot B: The Martian Chronicles C: Dune D: The Time Machine
>
. o O ( Isaac Asimov, 1950; Ray Bradbury, 1950; Frank Herbert, 1965; H.G.
Wells, 1898 )
> Kyong has a guess. With nothing to lose, she'll say Dune. The correct
answer
> was The Time Machine.
>
> AND THEY ARE:
>
> Jimmy Duchaney, South Weymouth, MA This must be a phone episode.
> John Baukol, Walnut Creek, CA
> Paula Esquijarosa, Miami, FL
> Chris Brazelton, Pahrump, NV
> Peter Hilts, Wilmington, NC
> Paul Gottschlich, Thornon, CO
> Ed Eason, Conway, AR
> Ellen Cutler, Aberdeen, MD
> Deneise Fultz, Middleburg, PA
> Jackie Fogus, Dallas, TX
>
> FFF: Put these TV series in order by their original debut, starting with
the
> earliest.
> A: The Job B: Nash Bridges
> C: Hill Street Blues D: Law and Order
>
> CDBA is correct.
. o O ( 1981; 1990; 1996; 2001 )
> Only two got it correct, Ellen Cutler beating out John
> Baukol, 6.16 to 7.48 seconds.
>
> Ellen is a freelance writer, working out of her home. So am I!
> Unfortunately, I don't get paid for this. She has lately been writing
> passages for reading comprehension tests, as well as entries for a women's
> encyclopedia.
>
> $100: What device is used to calculate the fare in most taxicabs?
> B: Meter
>
> $200: The process of removing the bones from a fish is called what?
> A: Filleting
>
> $300: According to a common phrase, whose advocate are you playing if you
> argue a position that you do not necessarily agree with?
> B: Devil's, not E: Steven Sousa's
>
. o O ( Al Pacino starred as a lawyer/Satan in the 1997 film "The Devil's
Advocate". )
> $500: Which of the following words has all its letters in alphabetical
> order?
> A: Almost B: Forgetful C: Liquefy D: Aardvark
>
> Almost.
>
> . o O (The longest such word in the English language: aegilops)
>
> . o O ( The longest reverse-alphabetical word: trollied)
>
Correct!
. o O ( aegilops: an ulcer or fistula in the inner corner of the eye; the
great wild-oat grass or other cornfield weed )
> LM: On the TV series "The Andy Griffith Show," what is Andy's job?
> A: Bank President B: Schoolteacher C: Gardner D: Town Sheriff
>
> Sheriff gets Ellen the F5S!
>
> Commercials.
>
> One-A-Day will give you the confidence to challenge Pete Sampras! I'll buy
> that, if it's on clay.
>
. o O ( Pete Sampras has never won the French Open, which is played on
clay. )
. o O ( His record at the French Open in Mens Singles is 0-for-12. )
> Bob Patterson looks like it'll be a funny show.
>
. o O ( Bob Patterson is a character played by Jason Alexander... )
. o O ( ...who won $250,000 on Celebrity WWTBAM. )
> Ellen's son Jay is with her. He's just starting college. Her strategy for
> winning is to not forget to breathe. That's just good advice for anyone.
>
. o O ( Breathing for humans is an involuntary action, meaning they don't
have to think about it... )
. o O ( ...unlike whales and dolphins, where breathing is voluntary. )
> $2000: What does the Spanish question "Como esta usted?" mean in English?
> A: How Are You? B: What is it? (It's it.) C: What is your name?
D:
> What time is it?
>
> My keyboard doesn't have an upside-down question mark, but I would have
> expected that they would have included one. They also omitted the accent
> mark which should appear over the "a" in esta.
>
. o O ( ¿Cómo está usted? )
> Having recently gone to Madrid, she knows it means How Are You.
>
> $4000: In 1985, Little Steven's song "Sun City" was written to protest the
> racial policies of what country?
> A: China B: Ethiopia C: South Africa D: India
>
> I think "The United States" would have been a great wrong answer.
>
> Ellen will poll the audience. South Africa wins, 25-14-54-7. She was
leaning
> that way already, so she'll agree with the audience, after blatantly
sucking
> up to them.
>
> They were right!
>
. o O ( Little Steven is now better known as Steven van Zandt... )
. o O ( ...former band member of the E Street Band... )
. o O ( ...and currently playing Silvio Dante on HBO's "The Sopranos". )
. o O ( "Sun City" was the title track of a 1985 album against Apartheid. )
. o O ( http://www.littlesteven.com/songs-suncity.html )
> $8000: What drink is named after an order of monks?
> A: Cappuccino B: Espresso C: Mocha D: Chai
>
> She knows cappuccino was named after the brown robes worn by some monks
> somewhere.
>
> Correct.
>
. o O ( The Italian Capuchin monks. )
> $16000: What scientific property is measured in hertz? (Hertz should
always
> be capitalized!)
. o O ( Wrong. )
. o O ( Named after the German physicist Heinrich Rudolf Hertz. )
. o O ( Abbreviated as "Hz". )
. o O ( kilohertz: kHz )
> A: Frequency B: Pressure C: Conductivity D: Density
>
> She says frequency, which is correct.
>
. o O ( 1 Hz = 1/(1 s) = 1 s^-1 )
. o O ( 1 hertz equals 1 cycle per second. )
> BM: Born in 1766, English economist Robert Malthus is famous for his
> theories on what subject?
> A: Currency valuations B: Population growth C: Organized labor D:
> Consumer habits
>
> As a Junior in high school, her history teacher taught her all about
> Malthus' theory that wealthy people have more children, so she'll say
> Population growth.
>
> $32,000 is hers!
>
Certainly not true today. Look at China and India.
. o O ( Malthus believed that population growth will always overtake the
food supply. )
. o O ( As a result, human reproduction must be controlled, or else we risk
facing famine and disease. )
. o O ( China is currently enacting laws on the number of children per
household. )
> $64000: Who's 2001 book is subtitled "Cool Rules for School"?
> A: Fred Rogers B: Judy Sheindlin C: Rosie O'Donnell D: Bill Cosby
>
> I'll admit that my previous two corrections may have been on the nit-picky
> side, but whoever was responsible for proofreading THAT question should be
> fired. Who's instead of whose is just embarrassing.
>
> Ellen the freelance writer doesn't skewer the question. She asks for the
> 50:50. It leaves Mr. Rogers and Judge Judy. Ellen thinks out loud that
Judge
> Judy has been writing children's books lately, and that "Cool Rules for
> School" sounds decidedly un-Mr. Rogers-like. She'll take her free guess at
> Judge Judy.
>
> And my parents' favorite TV star...
>
> is the correct answer!
>
. o O ( Mr. Rogers did not publish a book in 2001. )
> Vioxx can provide 24 hour relief to the demographic that ABC doesn't care
> about.
>
. o O ( Vioxx (rofecoxib) treats menstrual and osteoarthritis pain. )
. o O ( TV executives care mostly about the largest audience out there... )
. o O ( ...the 18-35 age group. )
. o O ( The average age of WWTBAM's audience has increased since its
debut. )
> Ellen is feeling overwhelmed.
>
> $125000: The protrusion of cartilage that projects in front of the
external
> opening of the human ear is called what?
> A: Capitula B: Tragus C: Procerus D: Resilium
>
> She will have to phone a friend. Dan is retired, and knows a lot about a
> lot. He sounds very relaxed. Dan has no idea whatsoever. She'll walk. The
> correct answer is Tragus.
>
. o O ( The "auricle" or "pinna" is the entire external projection of the
ear. )
. o O ( capitula: plural of "capitulum" )
. o O ( capitulum: a small knob or head-shaped part, such as a protuberance
of a bone or the tip of an insect's antenna; a dense cluster of stalkless
flowers )
. o O ( procerus: a muscle running from the nose up to the forehead )
. o O ( resilium: a muscle in bivalves (clams, shells) that opens the shell
apart )
> FFF: Put these songs in order by the year they were first released,
starting
> with the earliest.
> A: Losing My Religion B: Baby One More Time
> C: Addicted To Love D: Rock With You
>
> DCAB.
. o O ( 1979, Michael Jackson; 1985, Robert Palmer; 1991, R.E.M.; 1999,
Britney Spears )
> Again only two got it right. Two women, so the streak will grow to
> six. Deneise Fultz beats out Paula Esquijarosa 8.80 to 9.16
>
> Deneise is a dead ringer for Linda Ellerbee. She's a part time clerk in an
> accounting firm, and being in the hot seat has got her so emotional that
her
> mascara is running.
>
> LET'S PLAY!
>
> $100: Which of the following happens to Ric Flair's hair when it is
> bleached?
> A: Gets lighter in color.
>
. o O ( The bleach used in bleaching hair oxides the hair's melanin,
which gives hair its color. )
. o O ( This results in the hair having no color, thus the blonde/white
look. )
> $200: By definition, a long-winded person tends to do too much what?
> B: Talking, not E: farting.
>
> $300: According to a classic show tune, "The sun'll come out" when?
> A: Tomorrow.
>
. o O ( From "Annie": )
The sun'll come out
Tomorrow
Bet your bottom dollar
That tomorrow
There'll be sun!
Just thinkin' about
Tomorrow
Clears away the cobwebs,
And the sorrow
'Til there's none!
When I'm stuck with a day
That's gray,
And lonely,
I just stick out my chin
And Grin,
And Say,
Oh
The sun'll come out
Tomorrow
So ya gotta hang on
'til tomorrow
Come what may
Tomorrow!
Tomorrow!
I love ya
Tomorrow!
You're always
A day
Away!
> $500: What TV brand name is a synonym for the word "summit"?
> A: Panasonic B: Zenith C: Sharp D: Toshiba.
>
> She will play it safe and ask the audience. Would someone please get her
> some Kleenex? The audience votes for Zenith, 12-73-7-8. She'll agree with
> them.
>
> The audience was right.
>
. o O ( In 1987, Zenith was the only American manufacturer of TVs. )
. o O ( In 1995, South Korean LG Electronics bought Zenith. )
> When we return, Deneise will go for the Little Milestone!
>
> If you're an ABC programming executive who thinks that a pseudo-game show
> hosted by Pee Wee Herman has a chance in hell of being a success, YOU
DON'T
> KNOW JACK!!
>
. o O ( http://www.ydkj.com )
. o O ( "You Don't Know Jack"'s 6/20/01 debut ratings: )
. o O ( 8:00 airing: 6.2/11 )
. o O ( 8:30 airing: 5.2/9 )
> A makeup person has cleaned Deneise up. Her husband Roger is with her.
He's
> a Pennsylvania State Trooper. They've been married for 18 years.
>
> LM: In a standard chess set, what piece resembles a horse?
> A: Pawn B: Rook C: Knight D: Bishop
>
> Knight locks in $1,000.
>
. o O ( Gladys Knight locked in $125,000 on Rock Star WWTBAM. )
> $2000: Jambalaya is a dish associated with what type of cuisine?
> A: Creole B: Mexican C: Indian D: Thai
>
> Creole.
>
> $4000: The Reconstruction period of American history occurred immediately
> after what event?
> A: WWI B: Civil War C: Revolutionary War D: WWII
>
> Civil.
>
> $8000: The Ural Mountains are primarily located in what country?
> A: Turkey B: China C: Russia D: Afghanistan
>
> She doesn't think its Turkey or China. It might be Russia. She think's she
> going to phone a friend. I think she's going to have nervous breakdown in
> front of the entire country. Steve was her fourth grade teacher. She reads
> him the question, then tells him that he is a "ell." Or she may have been
> spelling the word "Ural." At the last second, Steve guesses Turkey, which
> Deneise had ruled out.
>
> She'll use 50:50. Russia remains, along with Afghanistan. So much for
> Steve's guess. She'll go with Russia.
>
> Yes!
>
. o O ( The Ural Mountains are the traditional physical landmark used to
separate the continents of Europe and Asia. )
> $16000: What TV series features an alien from the planet Melmac?
> A: Mork & Mindy B: My Favorite Martian (Duh!) C: ALF D: Roswell.
>
> ALF.
>
> One last set of commercials. I hope someone gives Deneise a valium before
> she goes for the Big Milestone.
>
> In case you didn't hear the news, Jerri from Survivor has agreed to appear
> in Playboy. People are using that as further proof of her immorality. Why
> are Americans so screwed up about nudity?
>
> She'll give some of her money to Cancer research if she wins. If she wins
a
> million, she wants to buy her daughter a new car for her 16th birthday.
>
> BM: In the 1964 movie children's book "Harriet the Spy," what does Harriet
> aspire to be?
Huh? Dyslexia strikes again!
. o O ( "Harriet the Spy" was a 1964 book and made into a 1996 movie. )
> A: Dancer B: Scientist C: Musician D: Writer
>
> Writer. Final Answer.
>
> She's got it!
>
> $64000: The spiky American desert plant Agave americana is also known by
> which of these names?
> A: Century plant B: Snake plant C: Pitcher plant D: Sensitive
plant
>
> With her free guess, she'll say Snake plant.
>
> It was Century plant.
>
. o O ( Century plant: http://www.csubak.edu/FACT/Agave.html )
. o O ( Snake plant:
http://www.hort.purdue.edu/ext/senior/flowers/Snake91.htm )
. o O ( Pitcher plant:
http://www.mikebaker.com/plants/Sarracenia_purpurea.html )
. o O ( Sensitive plant: http://www.nt.gov.au/dpif/pubcat/agnotes/466.htm )
> Time for one more FFF.
>
> FFF: Put these major European cities in geographic order, starting in the
> Atlantic Ocean and going east.
> A: Florence B: Budapest
> C: Barcelona D: Minsk
>
> CABD is right.
. o O ( Spain; Italy; Hungary; Belarus )
> Chris Brazelton breaks the streak of six consecutive women
> with his time of 6.28 seconds.
>
> Chris is a chef in a casino. No time for small talk.
>
> $100: In airplane bathrooms, federal law prohibita tampering with what?
> A: Smoke detector
>
> $200: Which of the following phrases means "a narrow escape"?
> C: Close shave
>
> $300: A futon normally serves as both a bed and a what?
> B: Couch
>
> $500: What is the hockey term for when a player uses his body to block an
> opponent by bumping into him?
> C: Check.
>
> LM: What is the English translation of "soup du jour"?
> A: Tomato soup. B: Soup of the day C: Chef's special soup D: Soup
> with meat.
>
. o O ( The game show "Shopping Spree" featured an audience member named
"Denise/Dennis du jour". )
> From Dumb and Dumber:
>
> Lloyd Christmas: Excuse me, miss, what's the soup du jour?
> Waitress: The Soup of the Day.
> Lloyd Christmas: Mmmm...sounds good, think I'll have that.
>
>
> AH-WHOOOOOOOOOO!
>
> Steven Sousa
>
>
. o O ( "Pop-Up Video" is a trademark of VH1, Viacom and Spin the Bottle
Productions. )
. o O ( POP! )
--
Dean Scungio
dscu...@worldnet.att.net
alt.tv.game-shows Lurker
Host of 'Net Ten-to-One
Host of 'Net U.S. Mastermind
Frequent Net Games Contestant
"It's not how much we give away,
it's the way we do it." -Monty Hall
Steven Sousa
Dean Scungio wrote in message ...
>. o O ( Airdate: 6/21/2001 )
>
>
>Steven Sousa <ae...@aurora.mv.com.XYZ> wrote in message
>news:9h2idq$f09$1...@pyrite.mv.net...
>> A dad, sharing horrible food with his daughter and the second most evil
>> clown in history. The official ranking:
>>
>> 1. Pennywise (Stephen King's IT)
>> 2. Ronald McDonald
>> 3. Doink (WWF)
>> 4. Bozo
>> 5. Bob-o (Weird Al's UHF)
>> 6. I can't think of any other clowns of the top of my head.
>>
>
>. o O ( Circus clown Emmett Kelly, Sr.'s Weary Willy )
>. o O ( Krusty the Clown from "The Simpsons" )
>. o O ( Homie the Clown from "In Living Color" )
>. o O ( Early animated character Koko the Clown )
>. o O ( Clarabelle Hornblow from "The Howdy Doody Show" )
>. o O ( Bobcat Goldthwait as "Shakes the Clown" (1991 film) )
Two more that I thought of later:
. o O (Evil Clown from the "Spawn" comics and movie)
. o O (Killer Klowns From Outer Space!!!)
. o O (What a total classic that was.)
>> $16000: What scientific property is measured in hertz? (Hertz should
>always
>> be capitalized!)
>
>. o O ( Wrong. )
When will you people learn that I am never wrong! You're as stubborn about
that as my wife! I learned in high school that units of measure which are
derived from people's names are always capitalized, such as the Newton, the
Farad, the Coulomb, and the Hertz.
>. o O ( Named after the German physicist Heinrich Rudolf Hertz. )
>. o O ( Abbreviated as "Hz". )
>. o O ( kilohertz: kHz )
So if it's named after a person, it's always capitalized!
Never forget the all-important SCS Millionaire Rule #0: Steven Sousa is
never wrong. There was this one time I thought I was wrong, but I was
mistaken.
SCS
Chris & Kelly Otto
> >>
> >> 1. Pennywise (Stephen King's IT)...
...
> >> 6. I can't think of any other clowns of the top of my head.
> >>
> >
> >. o O ( Circus clown Emmett Kelly, Sr.'s Weary Willy )
>
> Two more that I thought of later:
>
Sorry to bring this up, but... John Wayne Gacy.
John Isles, iv
>I think it's time to make the announcement.
>
>In the fall, when ABC drops down to only two showings of Millionaire per week,
>we will have more recappers than shows. Also, in the fall I will be starting
>part time graduate school, which in addition to my full time job, the novel I
>just started writing, and my wonderfully fulfilling family life, will take up
>just about all of my time. So in the fall, I will be ceasing my weekly
>recapping duties.
>This was not an easy decision to make, as I really enjoy doing this, and it is
>only two hours a week of my time, but I think it's the right decision.
That's too bad. Which means I won't get to write my (less-than-)witty
remarks to the practice of /Millionaire/ recaps.
On the other hand, I hope your novel is a success.
>Last time: Kyong! 300 Dollars!
>Having waited through the special Fathers' edition, Kyong is back. Regis hypes
>the $500,000 win from last week. She is a graduate student at UMinnesota going
>for a Master's in English. (Mine will be a Master's in Probability and
>Statistical Analysis. I'll be able to prove in eight different ways that
>current Red Sox manager Jimy Williams is a complete dolt for ever allowing
>Darren Lewis to start in Center Field.)
I haven't decided what my major's gonna be yet. (Yet, I have the imminent
feeling I am going to receive a Master's in Baiting.)
>Kyong is trying to start a new travel magazine. Thank goodness. There just
>aren't enough of THOSE in this world.
Which location? I heard Easter Island's REALLY popular nowadays.
>Reege is introduced to Seege.
Rhyme time!
>Kyong is planning to teach, and write fiction. (She doesn't say what genre,
>but I write Science Fiction with a humorous leaning. The present book is a
>cross between the late Douglas Adams and the late Philip K. Dick.* I'm also
>working on a screenplay with my best friend. It will be interesting to see
>which gets finished first.)
*AKA Ben Stein's pet name for Jimmy Kimmel.
>A bunch of seamen from John F. Kennedy are in the audience. Heh heh.
Better JFK than Cli(n)ton.
>Kyong is two questions away from a First Five Sweep. LET'S PLAY!
>$500: What is the slang term for the child of someone with a career in the
>army?
>A: Army brat B: Troop tot
>C: Army grunt D: Combat kid.
>Army brat.
Also a child with high morals and standards. As well as being built like a
brick.
-----
>LM: In the tale "Rumplelstiltskin", the king demands that the miller's
>daughter spin straw into what?
>A: Ivory B: Gold
>C: Silver D: Diamonds
>E: A straw sweater
>A thousand dollars worth of gold! F5S!
Pyrite is about .001% of that pure gold.
-----
>$2,000: In the classic TV commercial, what actor dares viewers to knock an
>Eveready battery off his shoulder?
>A: Steve McQueen B: Lee Marvin
>C: Telly Savalas D: Robert Conrad
>Robert Conrad.
E: Johnny Carson, who gets pied with some creams.
-----
>$4,000: In a steeplechase, competitors race on which of the following?
>A: Horses B: Motorboats
>C: Dogs D: Bicycles
>E: Steeples
>Horses.
I dunno. Witnessing a chase film where the jockeys ride motor-driven
steeples would be pretty damn funny.
-----
>$8,000: In mathematics, which of these terms describes the reference line on
>a graph, usually labeled "x" or "y"?
>A: Cosine B: Algorithm
>C: Axis D: Base
>She's going to use the 50:50. It leaves the two answers that start with A.
>She quickly says Axis. Axis it was!
.oO(Plural of AXIS is AXES.)
.oO(Famous ax wielders: Paul Bunyan; Jack Nicholson; Lizzie Borden.)
.oO(Lizzy Borden had an ax and gave her mother forty whacks; After she saw
what she had done, she gave her father forty-one.)
-----
>$16,000: Who starred as C.J. Parker in the T.V. series "Baywatch"?
>A: Donna D'Errico B: Pamela Anderson
>C: Michael Bergin D: Carmen Electra
>Kyong says she's 80% sure of Pamela Anderson. She'll ask the audience. HOR-
>RIBLE STRATEGY ALERT! They agree with her initial thought. THEY ALWAYS DO!
>4-88-5-3. Wasted lifeline.
And Pamela was one of the finest actresses the audience has ever seen.
That Tommy Lee sex video aside...
.oO(Anderson had her breast enhancements removed in 2000.)
.oO(Other notable breasts include Dolly Parton and Anna Nicole Smith.)
.oO(Smith was the most overlooked nominee for "Best Actress of 2000" by the
Academy Awards.)
.oO(Her nomination comes from her "I loved that old guy" act.)
-----
>A dad, sharing horrible food with his daughter and the second most evil clown
>in history. The official ranking:
>1. Pennywise (Stephen King's IT)
>2. Ronald McDonald
>3. Doink (WWF)
>4. Bozo
>5. Bob-o (Weird Al's UHF)
>6. I can't think of any other clowns of the top of my head.
7. Tammy Faye Bakker.
8. Mimi Bobeck from /The Drew Carey Show/.
9. Dame Edna.
-----
>Reege thinks Kyong is a cutie. He asks her if she has a boyfriend. She
>doesn't, but she does have an ex-husband and a four-year-old. Reege thinks she
>looks too young. She says she gets that all the time. She calls herself "the
>female version of Ralph Macchio" because she looks so much younger than 31.
>That's funny, I always thought Ralph Macchio was the female version of Ralph
>Macchio.
A romance made for Woody Allen.
-----
>BM: What vegetable is also called a pieplant?
>A: Broccoli B: Sweet potato (I love you!)
>C: Artichoke D: Rhubarb
>She knows you can make a rhubarb pie, as well as a sweet potato pie. I prefer
>the latter (I love you!) Regis suggests a phone a friend. She'll call Terry,
>her boss at the restaurant where she works. He thinks she says "tieplant,"
>until Regis helps her out and gets her to spell it out. She says it's pie, but
>Terry doesn't know.
>She's going to go for it, even though she's not sure. She's going to make
>rhubarb her final answer. Rhubarb turns yellow... and... for $32,000 or
>$1,000... rhubarb turns green!
And green rhubarb is poisonous. That was a bad choice of color.
-----
>$64,000: What classic sci-fi novel features a race of beautiful, decadent
>people called the Eloi?
>A: /I, Robot/ B: /The Martian Chronicles/
>C: /Dune/ D: /The Time Machine/
>Kyong has a guess. With nothing to lose, she'll say /Dune/. The correct
>answer was /The Time Machine/.
Well, she's wishing she could use that /Time Machine/ to answer correctly,
cause she's /Dune/ now.
.oO(Bad joke!)
-----
>FFF: Put these TV series in order by their original debut, starting with the
>earliest.
>A: /The Job/ B: /Nash Bridges/
>C: /Hill Street Blues/ D: /Law and Order/
>CDBA is correct. Only two got it correct, Ellen Cutler beating out John
>Baukol, 6.16 to 7.48 seconds.
And the cast of /The Job/ is, apparently, out of one at the moment.
.oO(Bill Nunn also played a [San Fran] cop in 1992's /Sister Act/.)
.oO(He wasn't in the sequel.)
-----
>Ellen is a freelance writer, working out of her home. So am I! Unfortunately,
>I don't get paid for this. She has lately been writing passages for reading
>comprehension tests, as well as entries for a women's encyclopedia.
What's the difference from a standard encyclopedia and a women's version?
-----
>$100: What device is used to calculate the fare in most taxicabs?
>B: Meter
Usually set to $2.00 for every 50ft.
-----
>$200: The process of removing the bones from a fish is called what?
>A: Filleting
I thought that was cutting parallel to the bone.
-----
>$300: According to a common phrase, whose advocate are you playing if you
>argue a position that you do not necessarily agree with?
>B: Devil's, not E: Steven Sousa's
Nor F: 98% of all American members of the Ass Party (AKA Democrats).
-----
>$500: Which of the following words has all its letters in alphabetical order?
>A: Almost B: Forgetful
>C: Liquefy D: Aardvark
>Almost.
.oO(1, 12, 13, 15, 19, 20.)
>. o O (The longest such word in the English language: aegilops)
.oO(1, 5, 7, 9, 12, 15, 16, 19.)
>. o O ( The longest reverse-alphabetical word: trollied)
.oO(20, 18, 15, 12 [x2], 9, 5, 4.)
-----
>LM: On the TV series /The Andy Griffith Show/, what is Andy's job?
>A: Bank President B: Schoolteacher
>C: Gardner D: Town Sheriff
>Sheriff gets Ellen the F5S!
And reprieve from an unnecessary violation of law.
-----
>One-A-Day will give you the confidence to challenge Pete Sampras! I'll buy
>that, if it's on clay.
.oO(Headline in tomorrow's paper: Sampras def. Sousa 6-0, 6-0, 6-0, with
72 straight aces.)
-----
>Bob Patterson looks like it'll be a funny show.
.oO(...And will die quickly, like /Soul Man/.)
-----
>Ellen's son Jay is with her. He's just starting college. Her strategy for
>winning is to not forget to breathe. That's just good advice for anyone.
Remember: Breathing is good.
.oO(James Earl Jones provided the voice of Darth Vader in /Star Wars/
episodes 1-3)
.oO(Rather, episodes 4-6. The first three released chronologically.)
.oO(Jah-Jah Binx issa stupiddass.)
-----
>$2,000: What does the Spanish question "¿Como está usted?" mean in English?
>A: How Are You? B: What is it? (It's it.)
>C: What is your name? D: What time is it?
>My keyboard doesn't have an upside-down question mark, but I would have expect-
>ed that they would have included one. They also omitted the accent mark which
>should appear over the "a" in esta.
.oO(Mac users: [Option]+[Shift]+[/] for "¿" character; [Option]+[E], then
[a] for á.)
>Having recently gone to Madrid, she knows it means "How Are You?"
.oO(Edited from original version)
¡Punctuate, you idiot!
-----
>$4,000: In 1985, Little Steven's song "Sun City" was written to protest the
>racial policies of what country?
>A: China B: Ethiopia
>C: South Africa D: India
>I think "The United States" would have been a great wrong answer.
.oO(Sun Valley, ID.)
>Ellen will poll the audience. South Africa wins, 25-14-54-7. She was leaning
>that way already, so she'll agree with the audience, after blatantly sucking up
>to them. They were right!
What a way to bluff!
-----
>$8,000: What drink is named after an order of monks?
>A: Cappuccino B: Espresso
>C: Mocha D: Chai
>She knows cappuccino was named after the brown robes worn by some monks some-
>where. Correct.
Does the color brown derive from CAPPUCINO?
.oO(No, you idiot!)
.oO(Starbucks: A character from Herman Melville's /Moby Dick/.)
.oO(Starbucks [noun]: Over-priced coffee.)
-----
>$16,000: What scientific property is measured in hertz? (Hertz should always
>be capitalized!)
>A: Frequency B: Pressure
>C: Conductivity D: Density
>She says frequency, which is correct.
Not E: Pain, nor F: Car rental profit
.oO(Named after Heinrich Hertz.)
.oO(Hertz Rent-A-Car hired O.J. Simpson as a spokesman.)
.oO(Who rushed for 2,000+yds. in one season with the Buffalo Bills)
.oO(...The NFL team which lost four straight Super Bowls in the 1990's.)
-----
>BM: Born in 1766, English economist Robert Malthus is famous for his theories
>on what subject?
>A: Currency valuations B: Population growth
>C: Organized labor D: Consumer habits
>As a Junior in high school, her history teacher taught her all about Malthus'
>theory that wealthy people have more children, so she'll say Population growth.
.oO(Highest number of living newborns from a pregnancy is eight.)
.oO(Of which, only seven survived for two weeks.)
.oO(The parents were not wealthy.)
-----
>$64,000: Who's 2001 book is subtitled /Cool Rules for School/?
>A: Fred Rogers B: Judy Sheindlin
>C: Rosie O'Donnell D: Bill Cosby
>I'll admit that my previous two corrections may have been on the nit-picky
>side, but whoever was responsible for proofreading THAT question should be
>fired. Who's instead of whose is just embarrassing.
.oO(/Who's on First[?]/ is the correct title. Quesion mark optional,
depending if you say "Who's on first?" [in question form] or "Who's on
first" [as in the player's name is Who].)
.oO(The former asked by Lou Costello; The latter provided by Bud Abbott.)
>Ellen the freelance writer doesn't skewer the question. She asks for the
>50:50. It leaves Mr. Rogers and Judge Judy. Ellen thinks out loud that Judge
>Judy has been writing children's books lately, and that /Cool Rules for School/
>sounds decidedly un-Mr. Rogers-like. She'll take her free guess at Judge Judy.
>And my parents' favorite TV star... is the correct answer!
There! You got your 64,000! Ya happy? Case dismissed!
-----
>Vioxx can provide 24 hour relief to the demographic that ABC doesn't care
>about.
Those who care for quality programming!
-----
>$125,000: The protrusion of cartilage that projects in front of the external
>opening of the human ear is called what?
>A: Capitula B: Tragus
>C: Procerus D: Resilium
>She will have to phone a friend. Dan is retired, and knows a lot about a lot.
>He sounds very relaxed. Dan has no idea whatsoever. She'll walk. The correct
>answer is Tragus.
Believe me: Those science questions can be a bitch!
.oO(The author of this document hated science in junior high.)
-----
>FFF: Put these songs in order by the year they were first released, starting
>with the earliest.
>A: Losing My Religion B: Baby One More Time
>C: Addicted To Love D: Rock With You
>DCAB. Again only two got it right. Two women, so the streak will grow to
>six. Deneise Fultz beats out Paula Esquijarosa 8.80 to 9.16.
>Deneise is a dead ringer for Linda Ellerbee. She's a part time clerk in an
>accounting firm, and being in the hot seat has got her so emotional that her
>mascara is running.
.oO(Linda Ellerbee plugged Maxwell House coffee with Willard Scott.)
.oO(And, no, Willard, dry-ground Maxwell House on your head doesn't make a
believable toupée.)
-----
>$100: Which of the following happens to Ric Flair's hair when it is bleached?
>A: Gets lighter in color.
.oO(But he hasn't bleached his pubic hair.)
-----
>$200: By definition, a long-winded person tends to do too much what?
>B: Talking, not E: Farting.
Blowing bubbles.
-----
>$300: According to a classic show tune, "The sun'll come out" when?
>A: Tomorrow.
.oO(From the stage production /Annie/.)
.oO(About the show, many people, right now, are thinking, "I hope it'll
close tomorrow...")
-----
>$500: What TV brand name is a synonym for the word "summit"?
>A: Panasonic B: Zenith
>C: Sharp D: Toshiba.
>She will play it safe and ask the audience. Would someone please get her some
>Kleenex? The audience votes for Zenith, 12-73-7-8. She'll agree with them.
>The audience was right.
I hope it's for excess sweat.
-----
>If you're an ABC programming executive who thinks that a pseudo-game show
>hosted by Pee Wee Herman has a chance in hell of being a success, YOU DON'T
>KNOW JACK!!
If you think Rosie O'Donnell weighs less than 2,000,000,000,000 tons, then
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK!
I you believed that Bill Clinton should not have been removed from office,
then YOU DON'T KNOW JACK!
If you expect the XFL to return in 2002, THEN YOU REALLY DON'T KNOW JACK!!!
-----
>A makeup person has cleaned Deneise up. Her husband Roger is with her. He's
>a Pennsylvania State Trooper. They've been married for 18 years.
>LM: In a standard chess set, what piece resembles a horse?
The queen?
>A: Pawn B: Rook
>C: Knight D: Bishop
>Knight locks in $1,000.
Armored truck!
-----
>$2,000: Jambalaya is a dish associated with what type of cuisine?
>Creole.
And that's good, I gay-ron-tee.
-----
>$4,000: The Reconstruction period of American history occurred immediately
>after what event?
>A: WWI B: Civil War
>C: Revolutionary War D: WWII
>Civil.
.oO(United we stand; Divided we fall.)
.oO(And the film /Wild, Wild West/ [1999] is not historically accurate.)
.oO(Nor is /Pearl Harbor/ nor /Titanic/ [1997].)
.oO(The latter film bought ten of its eleven Oscars-- it's a well-known
conspiracy.)
.oO(Leo DiCrappio fans can't handle the truth that he wasn't nominated.)
.oO(And Leo's denial is a damn good thing, indeed.)
-----
>$8,000: The Ural Mountains are primarily located in what country?
>A: Turkey B: China
>C: Russia D: Afghanistan
>She doesn't think its Turkey or China. It might be Russia. She think's she
>going to phone a friend. I think she's going to have nervous breakdown in
>front of the entire country. Steve was her fourth grade teacher. She reads
>him the question, then tells him that he is a "ell". Or she may have been
>spelling the word URAL. At the last second, Steve guesses Turkey, which
>Deneise had ruled out.
>She'll use 50:50. Russia remains, along with Afghanistan. So much for Steve's
>guess. She'll go with Russia. Yes!
That equals many rubles. How many? I don't know.
-----
>$16,000: What TV series features an alien from the planet Melmac?
>A: /Mork & Mindy/ B: /My Favorite Martian/ (Duh!)
>C: /ALF/ D: /Roswell/
.oO(Ork; Mars; Melmac; New Mexico.)
>ALF.
.oO(Acronym for "Alien Life Form".)
.oO(Real name: Gordon Shumway.)
.oO(Favorite food: Cats.)
-----
>In case you didn't hear the news, Jerri from Survivor has agreed to appear in
>/Playboy/. People are using that as further proof of her immorality. Why are
>Americans so screwed up about nudity?
[insert Homer Simpson sound clip] Boooo-bies.
-----
>She'll give some of her money to Cancer research if she wins. If she wins a
>million, she wants to buy her daughter a new car for her 16th birthday.
Hello, ungodly-high insurance.
-----
>BM: In the 1964 movie children's book /Harriet the Spy/, what does Harriet
>aspire to be?
>Writer. Final Answer. She's got it!
.oO(Film critics' opinions: "WTF did this film get made in the first place?")
-----
>$64,000: The spiky American desert plant Agave americana is also known by
>which of these names?
>A: Century plant B: Snake plant
>C: Pitcher plant D: Sensitive plant
>With her free guess, she'll say Snake plant. It was Century plant.
.oO(The 21st century began on January 1, 2001.)
.oO(NOT Jan. 1, 2000.)
-----
>FFF: Put these major European cities in geographic order, starting in the
>Atlantic Ocean and going east.
>A: Florence B: Budapest
>C: Barcelona D: Minsk
>CABD is right. Chris Brazelton breaks the streak of six consecutive women with
>his time of 6.28 seconds.
>Chris is a chef in a casino. No time for small talk.
Let's eat!
>$100: In airplane bathrooms, federal law prohibits tampering with what?
>A: Smoke detector
Not E: The stewardess(es).
-----
>$200: Which of the following phrases means "a narrow escape"?
>C: Close shave
.oO(Saying "Let them eat cake was a close shave for Marie Antoinette.)
.oO(Unfortunately, it was TOO close.)
-----
>$300: A futon normally serves as both a bed and a what?
>B: Couch
And it saves floor space, too.
.oO(Origin: Japan.)
.oO(With legs crossed, you have one futon the floor.)
-----
>$500: What is the hockey term for when a player uses his body to block an op-
>ponent by bumping into him?
>C: Check.
.oO(Also known as "permanent paralysis".)
.oO(Marty McSorely clubbed another play by the head in 2000.)
.oO(One more reason hockey is boxing on ice.)
.oO(Famous hockey quotes:)
.oO("When police brutality becomes a sport, then hockey can become a
sport." --George Carlin)
.oO("Hockey is three activities...: Ice skating, playing with a puck, and
beating the crap out of each other." --George Carlin)
-----
>LM: What is the English translation of "soup du jour"?
>A: Tomato soup B: Soup of the day
>C: Chef's special soup D: Soup with meat.
.oO("Chef's special soup" is not a good choice, as it may contain
unsanitary bodily fluids.)
>From /Dumb and Dumber/:
>Lloyd Christmas: "Excuse me, miss, what's the soup du jour?"
>Waitress: "The Soup of the Day."
>Lloyd Christmas: "Mmmm...sounds good, think I'll have that."
.oO(If Mary Swanson married Lloyd Christams, would she be Mary Christmas?)
--
From the mind of John Isles, iv <q...@as.net>
----------------------------------------------------------------
The Holy Bible never says "thou shalt not laugh".
-----= Posted via Newsfeeds.Com, Uncensored Usenet News =-----
http://www.newsfeeds.com - The #1 Newsgroup Service in the World!
-----== Over 80,000 Newsgroups - 16 Different Servers! =-----
John Isles, iv
>I think it's time to make the announcement.
>
>In the fall, when ABC drops down to only two showings of Millionaire per week,
>we will have more recappers than shows. Also, in the fall I will be starting
>part time graduate school, which in addition to my full time job, the novel I
>just started writing, and my wonderfully fulfilling family life, will take up
>just about all of my time. So in the fall, I will be ceasing my weekly
>recapping duties.
>This was not an easy decision to make, as I really enjoy doing this, and it is
>only two hours a week of my time, but I think it's the right decision.
That's too bad. Which means I won't get to write my (less-than-)witty
remarks to the practice of /Millionaire/ recaps.
On the other hand, I hope your novel is a success.
>Last time: Kyong! 300 Dollars!
>Having waited through the special Fathers' edition, Kyong is back. Regis hypes
>the $500,000 win from last week. She is a graduate student at UMinnesota going
>for a Master's in English. (Mine will be a Master's in Probability and
>Statistical Analysis. I'll be able to prove in eight different ways that
>current Red Sox manager Jimy Williams is a complete dolt for ever allowing
>Darren Lewis to start in Center Field.)
I haven't decided what my major's gonna be yet. (Yet, I have the imminent
feeling I am going to receive a Master's in Baiting.)
>Kyong is trying to start a new travel magazine. Thank goodness. There just
>aren't enough of THOSE in this world.
Which location? I heard Easter Island's REALLY popular nowadays.
>Reege is introduced to Seege.
Rhyme time!
>Kyong is planning to teach, and write fiction. (She doesn't say what genre,
>but I write Science Fiction with a humorous leaning. The present book is a
>cross between the late Douglas Adams and the late Philip K. Dick.* I'm also
>working on a screenplay with my best friend. It will be interesting to see
>which gets finished first.)
*AKA Ben Stein's pet name for Jimmy Kimmel.
>A bunch of seamen from John F. Kennedy are in the audience. Heh heh.
Better JFK than Cli(n)ton.
>Kyong is two questions away from a First Five Sweep. LET'S PLAY!
>$500: What is the slang term for the child of someone with a career in the
>army?
>A: Army brat B: Troop tot
>C: Army grunt D: Combat kid.
>Army brat.
Also a child with high morals and standards. As well as being built like a
brick.
-----
>LM: In the tale "Rumplelstiltskin", the king demands that the miller's
>daughter spin straw into what?
>A: Ivory B: Gold
>C: Silver D: Diamonds
>E: A straw sweater
>A thousand dollars worth of gold! F5S!
Pyrite is about .001% of that pure gold.
-----
>$2,000: In the classic TV commercial, what actor dares viewers to knock an
>Eveready battery off his shoulder?
>A: Steve McQueen B: Lee Marvin
>C: Telly Savalas D: Robert Conrad
>Robert Conrad.
E: Johnny Carson, who gets pied with some creams.
-----
>$4,000: In a steeplechase, competitors race on which of the following?
>A: Horses B: Motorboats
>C: Dogs D: Bicycles
>E: Steeples
>Horses.
I dunno. Witnessing a chase film where the jockeys ride motor-driven
steeples would be pretty damn funny.
-----
>$8,000: In mathematics, which of these terms describes the reference line on
>a graph, usually labeled "x" or "y"?
>A: Cosine B: Algorithm
>C: Axis D: Base
>She's going to use the 50:50. It leaves the two answers that start with A.
>She quickly says Axis. Axis it was!
.oO(Plural of AXIS is AXES.)
.oO(Famous ax wielders: Paul Bunyan; Jack Nicholson; Lizzie Borden.)
.oO(Lizzy Borden had an ax and gave her mother forty whacks; After she saw
what she had done, she gave her father forty-one.)
-----
>$16,000: Who starred as C.J. Parker in the T.V. series "Baywatch"?
>A: Donna D'Errico B: Pamela Anderson
>C: Michael Bergin D: Carmen Electra
>Kyong says she's 80% sure of Pamela Anderson. She'll ask the audience. HOR-
>RIBLE STRATEGY ALERT! They agree with her initial thought. THEY ALWAYS DO!
>4-88-5-3. Wasted lifeline.
And Pamela was one of the finest actresses the audience has ever seen.
That Tommy Lee sex video aside...
.oO(Anderson had her breast enhancements removed in 2000.)
.oO(Other notable breasts include Dolly Parton and Anna Nicole Smith.)
.oO(Smith was the most overlooked nominee for "Best Actress of 2000" by the
Academy Awards.)
.oO(Her nomination comes from her "I loved that old guy" act.)
-----
>A dad, sharing horrible food with his daughter and the second most evil clown
>in history. The official ranking:
>1. Pennywise (Stephen King's IT)
>2. Ronald McDonald
>3. Doink (WWF)
>4. Bozo
>5. Bob-o (Weird Al's UHF)
>6. I can't think of any other clowns of the top of my head.
7. Tammy Faye Bakker.
8. Mimi Bobeck from /The Drew Carey Show/.
9. Dame Edna.
-----
>Reege thinks Kyong is a cutie. He asks her if she has a boyfriend. She
>doesn't, but she does have an ex-husband and a four-year-old. Reege thinks she
>looks too young. She says she gets that all the time. She calls herself "the
>female version of Ralph Macchio" because she looks so much younger than 31.
>That's funny, I always thought Ralph Macchio was the female version of Ralph
>Macchio.
A romance made for Woody Allen.
-----
>BM: What vegetable is also called a pieplant?
>A: Broccoli B: Sweet potato (I love you!)
>C: Artichoke D: Rhubarb
>She knows you can make a rhubarb pie, as well as a sweet potato pie. I prefer
>the latter (I love you!) Regis suggests a phone a friend. She'll call Terry,
>her boss at the restaurant where she works. He thinks she says "tieplant,"
>until Regis helps her out and gets her to spell it out. She says it's pie, but
>Terry doesn't know.
>She's going to go for it, even though she's not sure. She's going to make
>rhubarb her final answer. Rhubarb turns yellow... and... for $32,000 or
>$1,000... rhubarb turns green!
And green rhubarb is poisonous. That was a bad choice of color.
-----
>$64,000: What classic sci-fi novel features a race of beautiful, decadent
>people called the Eloi?
>A: /I, Robot/ B: /The Martian Chronicles/
>C: /Dune/ D: /The Time Machine/
>Kyong has a guess. With nothing to lose, she'll say /Dune/. The correct
>answer was /The Time Machine/.
Well, she's wishing she could use that /Time Machine/ to answer correctly,
cause she's /Dune/ now.
.oO(Bad joke!)
-----
>FFF: Put these TV series in order by their original debut, starting with the
>earliest.
>A: /The Job/ B: /Nash Bridges/
>C: /Hill Street Blues/ D: /Law and Order/
>CDBA is correct. Only two got it correct, Ellen Cutler beating out John
>Baukol, 6.16 to 7.48 seconds.
And the cast of /The Job/ is, apparently, out of one at the moment.
.oO(Bill Nunn also played a [San Fran] cop in 1992's /Sister Act/.)
.oO(He wasn't in the sequel.)
-----
>Ellen is a freelance writer, working out of her home. So am I! Unfortunately,
>I don't get paid for this. She has lately been writing passages for reading
>comprehension tests, as well as entries for a women's encyclopedia.
What's the difference from a standard encyclopedia and a women's version?
-----
>$100: What device is used to calculate the fare in most taxicabs?
>B: Meter
Usually set to $2.00 for every 50ft.
-----
>$200: The process of removing the bones from a fish is called what?
>A: Filleting
I thought that was cutting parallel to the bone.
-----
>$300: According to a common phrase, whose advocate are you playing if you
>argue a position that you do not necessarily agree with?
>B: Devil's, not E: Steven Sousa's
Nor F: 98% of all American members of the Ass Party (AKA Democrats).
-----
>$500: Which of the following words has all its letters in alphabetical order?
>A: Almost B: Forgetful
>C: Liquefy D: Aardvark
>Almost.
.oO(1, 12, 13, 15, 19, 20.)
>. o O (The longest such word in the English language: aegilops)
.oO(1, 5, 7, 9, 12, 15, 16, 19.)
>. o O ( The longest reverse-alphabetical word: trollied)
.oO(20, 18, 15, 12 [x2], 9, 5, 4.)
-----
>LM: On the TV series /The Andy Griffith Show/, what is Andy's job?
>A: Bank President B: Schoolteacher
>C: Gardner D: Town Sheriff
>Sheriff gets Ellen the F5S!
And reprieve from an unnecessary violation of law.
-----
>One-A-Day will give you the confidence to challenge Pete Sampras! I'll buy
>that, if it's on clay.
.oO(Headline in tomorrow's paper: Sampras def. Sousa 6-0, 6-0, 6-0, with
72 straight aces.)
-----
>Bob Patterson looks like it'll be a funny show.
.oO(...And will die quickly, like /Soul Man/.)
-----
>Ellen's son Jay is with her. He's just starting college. Her strategy for
>winning is to not forget to breathe. That's just good advice for anyone.
Remember: Breathing is good.
.oO(James Earl Jones provided the voice of Darth Vader in /Star Wars/
episodes 1-3)
.oO(Rather, episodes 4-6. The first three released chronologically.)
.oO(Jah-Jah Binx issa stupiddass.)
-----
>$2,000: What does the Spanish question "¿Como está usted?" mean in English?
>A: How Are You? B: What is it? (It's it.)
>C: What is your name? D: What time is it?
>My keyboard doesn't have an upside-down question mark, but I would have expect-
>ed that they would have included one. They also omitted the accent mark which
>should appear over the "a" in esta.
.oO(Mac users: [Option]+[Shift]+[/] for "¿" character; [Option]+[E], then
[a] for á.)
>Having recently gone to Madrid, she knows it means "How Are You?"
.oO(Edited from original version)
¡Punctuate, you idiot!
-----
>$4,000: In 1985, Little Steven's song "Sun City" was written to protest the
>racial policies of what country?
>A: China B: Ethiopia
>C: South Africa D: India
>I think "The United States" would have been a great wrong answer.
.oO(Sun Valley, ID.)
>Ellen will poll the audience. South Africa wins, 25-14-54-7. She was leaning
>that way already, so she'll agree with the audience, after blatantly sucking up
>to them. They were right!
What a way to bluff!
-----
>$8,000: What drink is named after an order of monks?
>A: Cappuccino B: Espresso
>C: Mocha D: Chai
>She knows cappuccino was named after the brown robes worn by some monks some-
>where. Correct.
Does the color brown derive from CAPPUCINO?
.oO(No, you idiot!)
.oO(Starbucks: A character from Herman Melville's /Moby Dick/.)
.oO(Starbucks [noun]: Over-priced coffee.)
-----
>$16,000: What scientific property is measured in hertz? (Hertz should always
>be capitalized!)
>A: Frequency B: Pressure
>C: Conductivity D: Density
>She says frequency, which is correct.
Not E: Pain, nor F: Car rental profit
.oO(Named after Heinrich Hertz.)
.oO(Hertz Rent-A-Car hired O.J. Simpson as a spokesman.)
.oO(Who rushed for 2,000+yds. in one season with the Buffalo Bills)
.oO(...The NFL team which lost four straight Super Bowls in the 1990's.)
-----
>BM: Born in 1766, English economist Robert Malthus is famous for his theories
>on what subject?
>A: Currency valuations B: Population growth
>C: Organized labor D: Consumer habits
>As a Junior in high school, her history teacher taught her all about Malthus'
>theory that wealthy people have more children, so she'll say Population growth.
.oO(Highest number of living newborns from a pregnancy is eight.)
.oO(Of which, only seven survived for two weeks.)
.oO(The parents were not wealthy.)
-----
>$64,000: Who's 2001 book is subtitled /Cool Rules for School/?
>A: Fred Rogers B: Judy Sheindlin
>C: Rosie O'Donnell D: Bill Cosby
>I'll admit that my previous two corrections may have been on the nit-picky
>side, but whoever was responsible for proofreading THAT question should be
>fired. Who's instead of whose is just embarrassing.
.oO(/Who's on First[?]/ is the correct title. Quesion mark optional,
depending if you say "Who's on first?" [in question form] or "Who's on
first" [as in the player's name is Who].)
.oO(The former asked by Lou Costello; The latter provided by Bud Abbott.)
>Ellen the freelance writer doesn't skewer the question. She asks for the
>50:50. It leaves Mr. Rogers and Judge Judy. Ellen thinks out loud that Judge
>Judy has been writing children's books lately, and that /Cool Rules for School/
>sounds decidedly un-Mr. Rogers-like. She'll take her free guess at Judge Judy.
>And my parents' favorite TV star... is the correct answer!
There! You got your 64,000! Ya happy? Case dismissed!
-----
>Vioxx can provide 24 hour relief to the demographic that ABC doesn't care
>about.
Those who care for quality programming!
-----
>$125,000: The protrusion of cartilage that projects in front of the external
>opening of the human ear is called what?
>A: Capitula B: Tragus
>C: Procerus D: Resilium
>She will have to phone a friend. Dan is retired, and knows a lot about a lot.
>He sounds very relaxed. Dan has no idea whatsoever. She'll walk. The correct
>answer is Tragus.
Believe me: Those science questions can be a bitch!
.oO(The author of this document hated science in junior high.)
-----
>FFF: Put these songs in order by the year they were first released, starting
>with the earliest.
>A: Losing My Religion B: Baby One More Time
>C: Addicted To Love D: Rock With You
>DCAB. Again only two got it right. Two women, so the streak will grow to
>six. Deneise Fultz beats out Paula Esquijarosa 8.80 to 9.16.
>Deneise is a dead ringer for Linda Ellerbee. She's a part time clerk in an
>accounting firm, and being in the hot seat has got her so emotional that her
>mascara is running.
.oO(Linda Ellerbee plugged Maxwell House coffee with Willard Scott.)
.oO(And, no, Willard, dry-ground Maxwell House on your head doesn't make a
believable toupée.)
-----
>$100: Which of the following happens to Ric Flair's hair when it is bleached?
>A: Gets lighter in color.
.oO(But he hasn't bleached his pubic hair.)
-----
>$200: By definition, a long-winded person tends to do too much what?
>B: Talking, not E: Farting.
Blowing bubbles.
-----
>$300: According to a classic show tune, "The sun'll come out" when?
>A: Tomorrow.
.oO(From the stage production /Annie/.)
.oO(About the show, many people, right now, are thinking, "I hope it'll
close tomorrow...")
-----
>$500: What TV brand name is a synonym for the word "summit"?
>A: Panasonic B: Zenith
>C: Sharp D: Toshiba.
>She will play it safe and ask the audience. Would someone please get her some
>Kleenex? The audience votes for Zenith, 12-73-7-8. She'll agree with them.
>The audience was right.
I hope it's for excess sweat.
-----
>If you're an ABC programming executive who thinks that a pseudo-game show
>hosted by Pee Wee Herman has a chance in hell of being a success, YOU DON'T
>KNOW JACK!!
If you think Rosie O'Donnell weighs less than 2,000,000,000,000 tons, then
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK!
I you believed that Bill Clinton should not have been removed from office,
then YOU DON'T KNOW JACK!
If you expect the XFL to return in 2002, THEN YOU REALLY DON'T KNOW JACK!!!
-----
>A makeup person has cleaned Deneise up. Her husband Roger is with her. He's
>a Pennsylvania State Trooper. They've been married for 18 years.
>LM: In a standard chess set, what piece resembles a horse?
The queen?
>A: Pawn B: Rook
>C: Knight D: Bishop
>Knight locks in $1,000.
Armored truck!
-----
>$2,000: Jambalaya is a dish associated with what type of cuisine?
>Creole.
And that's good, I gay-ron-tee.
-----
>$4,000: The Reconstruction period of American history occurred immediately
>after what event?
>A: WWI B: Civil War
>C: Revolutionary War D: WWII
>Civil.
.oO(United we stand; Divided we fall.)
.oO(And the film /Wild, Wild West/ [1999] is not historically accurate.)
.oO(Nor is /Pearl Harbor/ nor /Titanic/ [1997].)
.oO(The latter film bought ten of its eleven Oscars-- it's a well-known
conspiracy.)
.oO(Leo DiCrappio fans can't handle the truth that he wasn't nominated.)
.oO(And Leo's denial is a damn good thing, indeed.)
-----
>$8,000: The Ural Mountains are primarily located in what country?
>A: Turkey B: China
>C: Russia D: Afghanistan
>She doesn't think its Turkey or China. It might be Russia. She think's she
>going to phone a friend. I think she's going to have nervous breakdown in
>front of the entire country. Steve was her fourth grade teacher. She reads
>him the question, then tells him that he is a "ell". Or she may have been
>spelling the word URAL. At the last second, Steve guesses Turkey, which
>Deneise had ruled out.
>She'll use 50:50. Russia remains, along with Afghanistan. So much for Steve's
>guess. She'll go with Russia. Yes!
That equals many rubles. How many? I don't know.
-----
>$16,000: What TV series features an alien from the planet Melmac?
>A: /Mork & Mindy/ B: /My Favorite Martian/ (Duh!)
>C: /ALF/ D: /Roswell/
.oO(Ork; Mars; Melmac; New Mexico.)
>ALF.
.oO(Acronym for "Alien Life Form".)
.oO(Real name: Gordon Shumway.)
.oO(Favorite food: Cats.)
-----
>In case you didn't hear the news, Jerri from Survivor has agreed to appear in
>/Playboy/. People are using that as further proof of her immorality. Why are
>Americans so screwed up about nudity?
[insert Homer Simpson sound clip] Boooo-bies.
-----
>She'll give some of her money to Cancer research if she wins. If she wins a
>million, she wants to buy her daughter a new car for her 16th birthday.
Hello, ungodly-high insurance.
-----
>BM: In the 1964 movie children's book /Harriet the Spy/, what does Harriet
>aspire to be?
>Writer. Final Answer. She's got it!
.oO(Film critics' opinions: "WTF did this film get made in the first place?")
-----
>$64,000: The spiky American desert plant Agave americana is also known by
>which of these names?
>A: Century plant B: Snake plant
>C: Pitcher plant D: Sensitive plant
>With her free guess, she'll say Snake plant. It was Century plant.
.oO(The 21st century began on January 1, 2001.)
.oO(NOT Jan. 1, 2000.)
-----
>FFF: Put these major European cities in geographic order, starting in the
>Atlantic Ocean and going east.
>A: Florence B: Budapest
>C: Barcelona D: Minsk
>CABD is right. Chris Brazelton breaks the streak of six consecutive women with
>his time of 6.28 seconds.
>Chris is a chef in a casino. No time for small talk.
Let's eat!
>$100: In airplane bathrooms, federal law prohibits tampering with what?
>A: Smoke detector
Not E: The stewardess(es).
-----
>$200: Which of the following phrases means "a narrow escape"?
>C: Close shave
.oO(Saying "Let them eat cake was a close shave for Marie Antoinette.)
.oO(Unfortunately, it was TOO close.)
-----
>$300: A futon normally serves as both a bed and a what?
>B: Couch
And it saves floor space, too.
.oO(Origin: Japan.)
.oO(With legs crossed, you have one futon the floor.)
-----
>$500: What is the hockey term for when a player uses his body to block an op-
>ponent by bumping into him?
>C: Check.
.oO(Also known as "permanent paralysis".)
.oO(Marty McSorely clubbed another play by the head in 2000.)
.oO(One more reason hockey is boxing on ice.)
.oO(Famous hockey quotes:)
.oO("When police brutality becomes a sport, then hockey can become a
sport." --George Carlin)
.oO("Hockey is three activities...: Ice skating, playing with a puck, and
beating the crap out of each other." --George Carlin)
-----
>LM: What is the English translation of "soup du jour"?
>A: Tomato soup B: Soup of the day
>C: Chef's special soup D: Soup with meat.
.oO("Chef's special soup" is not a good choice, as it may contain
unsanitary bodily fluids.)
>From /Dumb and Dumber/:
>Lloyd Christmas: "Excuse me, miss, what's the soup du jour?"
>Waitress: "The Soup of the Day."
>Lloyd Christmas: "Mmmm...sounds good, think I'll have that."
.oO(If Mary Swanson married Lloyd Christams, would she be Mary Christmas?)
Randall M! Gee
"Steven Sousa" <ae...@aurora.mv.com.XYZ> wrote:
>>> $16000: What scientific property is measured in hertz? (Hertz should
>>> always be capitalized!)
>>
>> . o O ( Wrong. )
>
>
> When will you people learn that I am never wrong! You're as stubborn about
> that as my wife! I learned in high school that units of measure which are
> derived from people's names are always capitalized, such as the Newton, the
> Farad, the Coulomb, and the Hertz.
What you learned in high school is wrong.
Units of measure are not capitalized. So we talk about "volts", "watts"
and "amps", without capitalization.
See <http://physics.nist.gov/Pubs/SP811/sec09.html>, for example.
The abbreviations for units of measure derived from people's names do
have initial capitals, though.
-- Randall M! Gee, Keeper of Gummi Wisdom
(g...@math.berkeley.edu)
Randall M! Gee
"Dean Scungio" <dscu...@worldnet.att.net> wrote:
> . o O ( TV executives care mostly about the largest audience out there... )
> . o O ( ...the 18-35 age group. )
> . o O ( The average age of WWTBAM's audience has increased since its
> debut. )
Actually, in terms of numbers, the 18-35 age group isn't the largest.
About 27.8% of Americans are 15-34, so the 18-35 age group must be
smaller than that. But 29.7% of Americans are 35-54, and another 20.4%
are 55 or over. It's just that the 18-35 year olds spend more money on
things that are advertised.