Weakest Link (The Un-Themed Celebrity Edition)
Chris Wolvie
===============================================
Contestants:
(Name, Location, Current or Most Recent Project/Occupation,
Charity)
ALAN CUMMING, Perthshire Scotland, "Spy Kids",
Broadway Cares/Equity Fight AIDS
TAMALA JONES, Los Angeles CA, "On The Line",
Border Jones Community Service
ICE-T, Los Angeles, "Law & Order: SVU",
Save the Babies
ANTHONY ANDERSON, Compton CA, "Two Can Play That Game",
Children's Creative Writing Campaign
KATHY NAJIMY, San Diego CA, "Rat Race",
RAWA/Stop Gender Apartheid in Afghanistan
LARRY MILLER, Valley Stream NY, Actor/Comedian,
Chime Charter Elementary School for Disabled Children/
World Trade Center Relief Fund
LUIS GUZMAN, New York City, HBO's "OZ",
Green Mountain Wardolf School/Ryan Nena Adolesent Clinic
EDDIE KAYE THOMAS, New York City, WB's "Off Center",
Asssociation to Help Retarded Children
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
ROUND 1 2 minutes, 30 seconds
Money banked: $12,000
Chains banked: 6
ALAN : 1 right, 2 wrong, 2 chains
TAMALA : 0 right, 3 wrong *WEAKEST LINK*
ICE-T : 1 right, 1 wrong
ANTHONY : 1 right, 1 wrong, 1 chain
KATHY : 2 right, 0 wrong, 1 chain
LARRY : 2 right, 0 wrong
LUIS : 2 right, 0 wrong, 2 chains *STRONGEST LINK*
EDDIE : 2 right, 0 wrong
Whose brain cell might soon die of lonliness?
ALAN : ICE-T
TAMALA : ICE-T
ICE-T : ALAN
ANTHONY : EDDIE
KATHY : EDDIE
LARRY : EDDIE
LUIS : TAMALA
EDDIE : ALAN
Anne: "Kathy..."
Kathy: "(acting like Anne) Anne. [She even DRESSED like Anne, glasses
and all!]"
Anne: "(after trying, unsuccessfully, to conceal a smile) Why Eddie"
Kathy: "(in normal voice for the rest of the show) 'Cause he's young
and cute and he has the rest of his life ahead of him."
Anne: "So, Larry,...who are you?"
Larry: "I'm an actor and a comedian."
Anne: "ARE you?"
Larry: "Well, usually,...annoying characters, and it's...it's, uh, as
we all know, when you're a character actor,..."
Anne: "Well, I can understand why you're playing annoying characters.
Why Eddie?"
Larry: "Hmm? Why? Because we...we just met. I had to start
somewhere and it's the guy on the end, and..."
Anne: "Anthony, could you remind us, since you failed to tell us, what
charity you're ACTUALLY playing for? [He originally said it was the
"Get My Momma A House So She Can Move Outta MY House" chairty.]"
Anthony: "That would be the Children's Creative Writing Campaign"
Anne: "Did you go to school?"
Anthony: "Uh,...sometimes. Yes, I did attend school."
Anne: "Did you learn any nursery rhymes?"
Anthony: "Uh, yes, I did."
Anne: "Then what makes you think that "Jack Sprat could eat no GRASS"?
[Of course, according to the rhyme, Jack Sprat could eat no FAT...but
check out the excuse...]"
Anthony: "Well, because, when _I_ grew up, my mama didn't allow ME eat
grass. If JACK had a mama like MY mama, she wouldn't let him eat
grass, either!"
Anne: "Did you think Eddie was the 'weakest link'?"
Anthony: "Uh, honestly, no."
Anne: "It was Tamala. Tamala - who thinks there are 30 seconds in a
minute. But it's votes that count. Eddie, with 3 votes,...(audience
awwwwws)...you ARE the 'weakest link'. Good-bye."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
ROUND 2 2 minutes, 20 seconds
Money banked: $3,500
Chains banked: 2
ALAN : 3 right, 0 wrong *STRONGEST LINK*
TAMALA : 1 right, 2 wrong
ICE-T : 0 right, 2 wrong
ANTHONY : 1 right, 1 wrong
KATHY : 2 right, 0 wrong, 1 chain
LARRY : 2 right, 0 wrong
LUIS : 0 right, 3 wrong, 1 chain *WEAKEST LINK* *BANKED MOST*
Who's been anything but entertainment tonight?
ALAN : ICE-T
TAMALA : LUIS
ICE-T : LUIS
ANTHONY : LUIS
KATHY : LUIS
LARRY : ALAN
LUIS : ALAN
Anne: "Tamala,...why Luis?"
Tamala: "I was envious."
Anne: "Why is that?"
Tamala: "Because he but my name on his thing last time, so..."
Anne: "Let me get this straight: he put your name on his 'thing'?"
[ZING! 'Course, Tamala meant his voting pad, but...]
Tamala: "(after the laughter died down) So,...I'm putting his name on
MY thing!"
Anthony: "And she got a BIG NAME! ALL RIGHT, LUIS!!"
Anne: "Ice, what do you do?"
Ice-T: "I act. I make music."
Anne: "What sort of music?"
Ice-T: "Rap music, rock music..."
Anne: "Why Luis?"
Ice-T: "Probably the only guy on this panel I thought probably would
kill me, so I wanna get him outta here quick"
Anne: "Luis, with 4 votes, you ARE the 'weakest link'. Good-bye."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
ROUND 3 2 minutes, 10 seconds
Money banked: $9,000
Chains banked: 6
ALAN : 2 right, 1 wrong, 2 chains *BANKED MOST*
TAMALA : 0 right, 2 wrong, 1 chain *WEAKEST LINK*
ICE-T : 2 right, 0 wrong
ANTHONY : 1 right, 1 wrong, 2 chains
KATHY : 2 right, 0 wrong, 1 chain *STRONGEST LINK*
LARRY : 2 right, 0 wrong
<nothing>
ALAN : LARRY
TAMALA : LARRY
ICE-T : ALAN
ANTHONY : ICE-T
KATHY : LARRY
LARRY : ("Not Larry") ALAN
Anne: "Allan,...what do we know you from, Alan?"
Alan: "Uh, OK, right. So, the last one was 'The Anniversary Party'
and then 'Spy Kids'..."
Anne: "'Spy Kids'...where you were horrid to children."
Alan: "No, I was sorta quite horrid to begin with, then I got nicer."
Anne: "Did anyone notice you getting nicer?"
Alan: "Yeah. Does anyone notice YOU getting nicer? [And Anne takes it
on the chin without a flinch!]"
Anne: "Why Larry?"
Alan: "Um, well, I thought he was a wee bit slow, and I was
getting..."
Anne: "'A wee bit slow'?! Ho! (turns to Tamala and leans on the
podium, causing Tamala to do likewise) Tamala, do men love you for
your brain?"
Tamala: "Um,..yeah, they like that, too."
Anne: "Why Larry?"
Tamala: "Because, you know, Larry was a bit threatening and, y'know, I
figured, if I didn't get him, he was gonna get me."
Anne: "Well, Larry,...you ARE the 'weakest link'. Good-bye."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
ROUND 4 2 minutes even
Money banked: $9,500
Chains banked: 4
ALAN : 3 right, 0 wrong, 1 chain *STRONGEST LINK*
TAMALA : 2 right, 1 wrong, 1 chain
ICE-T : 3 right, 0 wrong
ANTHONY : 1 right, 1 wrong, 2 chains *BANKED MOST*
KATHY : 1 right, 2 wrong *WEAKEST LINK*
Who needs to go straight to video?
ALAN : TAMALA
TAMALA : ICE-T
ICE-T : TAMALA
ANTHONY : ICE-T
KATHY : ICE-T
Anne: "Anthony..."
Anthony: "Anne..."
Anne: "Why are you getting rid of Ice."
Anthony: "Y'know, I don't think of it as 'getting rid of Ice'...per
se..."
Anne: "What does 'per se' mean?"
Anthony: "Um,...'like that'...'I.E.'"
Anne: "Kathy..."
Kathy: "Yes, sweetheart?"
Anne: "Why Ice-T?"
Kathy: "Uh,...I have no idea."
Anne: "Alas, Ice,...it's time to 'rap' up. [Took a while to get the
pun...] You ARE the 'weakest link'. Good-bye."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
ROUND 5 1 minute, 50 seconds
Money banked: $4,000
Chains banked: 4
ALAN : 3 right, 0 wrong, 2 chains *STRONGEST LINK*
TAMALA : 0 right, 3 wrong, 2 chains
ANTHONY : 0 right, 3 wrong *WEAKEST LINK*
KATHY : 2 right, 0 wrong
Which ham here needs to be canned?
ALAN : TAMALA
TAMALA : ALAN
ANTHONY : TAMALA
KATHY : TAMALA
Anne: "Anthony..."
Anthony: "Yes, uh, honey bunny?"
Anne: "Tamala didn't answer a single question correctly...but she
banked some money."
Anthony: "Well, y'know, she was only able to bank money because she
was going after Alan, who is real smart. I'M going after TAMALA so,
if she can't ANSWER nothin', I can't BANK nothin'! [LOGIC?! From
ANTHONY, of all people?!?!?]"
Anne: "OK, we've established that you were the worst player, but it's
votes that count. Tamala, you ARE the 'weakest link'. Good-bye."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
ROUND 6 1 minute, 40 seconds
Money banked: $4,500
Chains banked: 3
ALAN : 2 right, 2 wrong, 2 chains
ANTHONY : 1 right, 3 wrong *WEAKEST LINK*
KATHY : 2 right, 2 wrong, 1 chain *STRONGEST LINK* *BANKED MOST*
Who is the least likely to help you raise that bank balance?
ALAN : ANTHONY
ANTHONY : ALAN
KATHY : ALAN
Kathy: "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry."
Anne: "Cowardly Kathy,...why Alan?"
Kathy: "Um, because Alan is about to probably win an Oscar and an
Emmy. And he's really smart and my Afghanistan women need this
money."
Anthony: "You calling me DUMB?!"
Kathy: "Absolutely. Absolutely dumb."
Anthony: "Just checking."
Kathy: "Just checking, all right."
Anne: "Well, it will surprise nobody that, statistically, Anthony was
the worst player in the last round."
Anthony: "At least I'm consistant."
Anne: "But, sadly, Alan Cumming...you're goin'! With 2 votes, you ARE
the 'weakest link'. Good-bye."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
ROUND 7 1 minute, 30 seconds
(DOUBLE ROUND)
Money banked: $7,000 (doubled to $14,000)
Chains bnaked: 4
ANTHONY : 4 right, 1 wrong, 2 chains
KATHY : 4 right, 2 wrong, 2 chains
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
FINAL ROUND (BANKED GRAND TOTAL: $56,500)
Anthony, being 'strongest link' of Round 7, elects for Kathy to go
first
KATHY - Q: What letter begins the English names of two of the nine
planets in our solar system?
A: M (correct)
ANTHONY - Q: In the game of craps, a standard die is marked so the
spots on opposite sides always total what number?
A: Seven (correct)
KATHY - Q: The Life Savers Five-Flavor roll is made up of cherry,
lemon, lime, orange and what fifth flavor?
A: Grape (incorrect; Pineapple)
ANTHONY - Q: In the lyrics of the "Star-Spangled Banner", which two
words follow "The bombs bursting in air"?
A: "Gave proof" (correct)
KATHY - Q: What word, derived from the Arabic for "the king is
dead", signals the end of a chess match?
A: Checkmate (correct)
ANTHONY - Q: The NASA Space Center in Cape Canaveral is named for
which U.S. President?
A: Kennedy (correct)
KATHY - Q: What athlete has made the cover of "Sports Illustrated"
more times that any one else in history?
A: Michael Jordan (correct)
ANTHONY - Q: Which brand of imported German beer features the key to
the city of Bremen on its label?
A: Heineken (incorrect; Beck's)
KATHY - Q: According to the National Weather Service, a snowstorm
with poor visibility and winds that exceed 35 miles per
hour is categorized as a what?
A: Blizzard (correct)
ANTHONY - Q: Which rock slab, found in Eygpt by troops of Napoleon,
was inscribed in hieroglyphics and Greek?
A: Ten Commandments (incorrect; Rosetta Stone)
1 2 3 4 5
KATHY O X O O O
ANTHONY O O O X X
Kathy is the Strongest Link and leaves with $56,500 for two charites
to help Afghan females!
Anthony...just...leaves (though $10,000 goes to the other charities)!
NOTES:
It's about TIME someone showed Anne what she can be like. Kathy
Najimy dressing and talking like her led to the quickest "crack up" in
U.S. "Weakest Link" history!
Despite Anthony's ineptitude in the game, there's no doubt he was the
most entertaining. On the other hip, the only thing entertaining
about the game's statistically 'strongest link' - Alan - was his
accent.
I don't know why I was thinking "alliance" when the three right-most
contestants got voted out in order...the votes were NEVER the same.
Back in June, "Survivor I"'s Sue Hawk was on "Weakest Link" and USA
Network's "Cannonball Run 2001" in the same week. THIS time, it's
Ice-T who was on "Weakest Link" and was a panelist on ESPN's "2-Minute
Drill" in the same week. Boy, the celebs get around the game-show
circuit, don't they?
On Monday, the WWF invades Anne's base. Can Triple H, Big Show and
Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley stop Anne "The Razor" Robinson?!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Join us next time for another review of "Weakest Link"... *wink*...
good-bye.
Genetasia
>It's about TIME someone showed Anne what she can be like. Kathy Najimy
dressing and talking like her led to the quickest "crack up" in U.S. "Weakest
Link" history!
>
Has Anne ever cracked up during a civilian show? All these famous people
breaking her resolve is the one disturbing element about the celeb editions
(besides the players who are dumb and proud of it, although at least Tamala,
who wore a great hat with nothing underneath it, seemed to exhibit a sense of
humor about it all). I'm waiting for one to open with "Welcome to another
bloody celebrity edition of the Weakest Link."
>The only thing entertaining about the game's statistically 'strongest link' -
Alan - was his accent.
Aw, Alan Cumming was the main reason I watched this one. He's cute.
Pierce & Dismantle Executive
"Genetasia" <gene...@aol.com> wrote in message
news:20011112094348...@mb-fc.aol.com...
> (Changing the slug because it wasn't unthemed so much as lightly themed)
>
> >It's about TIME someone showed Anne what she can be like. Kathy Najimy
> dressing and talking like her led to the quickest "crack up" in U.S.
"Weakest
> Link" history!
> >
> Has Anne ever cracked up during a civilian show? All these famous people
> breaking her resolve is the one disturbing element about the celeb
editions
> (besides the players who are dumb and proud of it, although at least
Tamala,
> who wore a great hat with nothing underneath it, seemed to exhibit a sense
of
> humor about it all). I'm waiting for one to open with "Welcome to another
> bloody celebrity edition of the Weakest Link."
On the off-instances when she does "break character", NBC edits it. I
don't think they've had to do this on a civilian show - correct me if I'm
wrong.
Justin Alexander Lollie
Founder, Carnivores Against Vegan Elitism
Keeper of the Loot
Certified IndyManiac
Commissioner, No B.S. Football League
http://lolliesmack.cjb.net
AIM: PierceNDismantle
"All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a
philosopher."
- Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914)
Jimmy Mourali
She's come pretty close...but no. She has in the UK though...in fact, not too
long ago, there was a whole week where she laughed on about every show that
week!
------------
"Jij bent de swakste schakel. Tot Ziens!"---Chazia Mourali, host of "Weakest
Link" in Holland.