Red Alert! Red Alert! This is not a drill! Larson is recruiting
Rick Savoia
All, it has recently come to my attention that Larson has resumed his evil
plans and has once again been recruiting for new henchmen (lackeys, if you
prefer).
I have recently come across this ad placed on Craigslist:
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/ldn/783766933.html
Under the guise of 'Jaques' he is attempting to get around the terms of his
probation.
I have also found evidence that he has constructed yet another secret lair:
He has cleverly hidden this over in Japan where no one would think to look.
(more pictures: http://dvice.com/archives/2008/09/government_faci.php)
Please take note that the "Anti-Evil Madmen" task force (or "Anti-Em" for
short), has been dispatched.
Japanese citizens in the area of Kawasaki, Shinagawa and Kisarazu are
warned to stay inside.
Tyler Trafford: please return to the Witness Protection Program since we
know that Larsons' first target will be you (after all, his downfall is
directly attributed to you using the trebuchet in the back yard and
uncovering his LAST secret hideout).
This has been a public service announcement.
Jim Larson
>
>
> All, it has recently come to my attention that Larson has resumed his
> evil plans and has once again been recruiting for new henchmen (lackeys,
> if you prefer).
I prefer to call them thralls, but that's neither here nor in the land of
Moria.
> I have recently come across this ad placed on Craigslist:
>
> http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/ldn/783766933.html
>
> Under the guise of 'Jaques' he is attempting to get around the terms of
> his probation.
(It is an oblique reference to my intention to replay the French Revolution,
a la Charles Dickens, on a global scale. I will be assuming the role of
Madame Defarge in this version.)
> I have also found evidence that he has constructed yet another secret
> lair:
>
> http://tinyurl.com/6fcwl8
>
> He has cleverly hidden this over in Japan where no one would think to
> look. (more pictures:
> http://dvice.com/archives/2008/09/government_faci.php)
>
> Please take note that the "Anti-Evil Madmen" task force (or "Anti-Em"
> for short), has been dispatched.
Never fear. I'll get you all sooner or later, my pretties.
(What the hell is that thing?)
> Japanese citizens in the area of Kawasaki, Shinagawa and Kisarazu are
> warned to stay inside.
Note to self: The rubes are in the know. Update target completion date for
project Mechagodzilla.
> Tyler Trafford: please return to the Witness Protection Program since we
> know that Larsons' first target will be you (after all, his downfall is
> directly attributed to you using the trebuchet in the back yard and
> uncovering his LAST secret hideout).
Trafford will return to the flock if I have to bring him back one limb at a
time. (That is not a figure of speach.)
> This has been a public service announcement.
Word.
--
Jim
Jim Larson
> What were the terms of his probation? Actually, I don't remember the
> crime. Attempting world domination, maybe?
Humming in an elevator.
--
Jim
Rick Savoia
news:Xns9B0FC9B42DACA0...@comcast.dca.giganews.com:
> What were the terms of his probation? Actually, I don't remember the
> crime. Attempting world domination, maybe?
There's no crime of attempting world domination. Only one for failing.
Tyler Trafford
> Rick Savoia wrote:
>
>> Tyler Trafford: please return to the Witness Protection Program since we
>> know that Larsons' first target will be you (after all, his downfall is
>> directly attributed to you using the trebuchet in the back yard and
>> uncovering his LAST secret hideout).
>
> Trafford will return to the flock if I have to bring him back one limb at a
> time. (That is not a figure of speach.)
(Photographic evidence of Jim's giant speach: http://tinyurl.com/speach)
--
Tyler Trafford
All dwarfs have beards and wear up to twelve layers of clothing.
Gender is more or less optional.
(Guards! Guards!)
Tyler Trafford
> All, it has recently come to my attention that Larson has resumed his
> evil plans and has once again been recruiting for new henchmen
> (lackeys, if you prefer).
>
> I have recently come across this ad placed on Craigslist:
>
> http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/ldn/783766933.html
>
> Under the guise of 'Jaques' he is attempting to get around the terms
> of his probation.
>
> I have also found evidence that he has constructed yet another secret
> lair:
>
> http://tinyurl.com/6fcwl8
To be fair, it was never conclusively shown that "The Zapper" was
actually Larson and not some perfect doppleganger who lived in the same
area and sent "Mother's Day" cards to the same address.
> He has cleverly hidden this over in Japan where no one would think to
> look. (more pictures:
> http://dvice.com/archives/2008/09/government_faci.php)
>
> Please take note that the "Anti-Evil Madmen" task force (or "Anti-Em"
> for short), has been dispatched.
>
> Japanese citizens in the area of Kawasaki, Shinagawa and Kisarazu are
> warned to stay inside.
>
> Tyler Trafford: please return to the Witness Protection Program since
> we know that Larsons' first target will be you (after all, his
> downfall is directly attributed to you using the trebuchet in the back
> yard and uncovering his LAST secret hideout).
Trebuchet? You mean the swingset?
--
Tyler Trafford
Leela: Well, someone's in a good mode.
John Iwaniszek
shut up, "jaques". You have nothing to say.
John Iwaniszek
> Rick Savoia wrote:
>
>>
>>
>> All, it has recently come to my attention that Larson has resumed his
>> evil plans and has once again been recruiting for new henchmen
>> (lackeys, if you prefer).
>
> I prefer to call them thralls, but that's neither here nor in the land
> of Moria.
>
>> I have recently come across this ad placed on Craigslist:
>>
>> http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/ldn/783766933.html
>>
>> Under the guise of 'Jaques' he is attempting to get around the terms
>> of his probation.
>
> (It is an oblique reference to my intention to replay the French
> Revolution, a la Charles Dickens, on a global scale. I will be
> assuming the role of Madame Defarge in this version.)
This time do not leave ze cake out in ze rain. And for dieu's sake, this
time write down the recipe.
>
>> I have also found evidence that he has constructed yet another secret
>> lair:
>>
>> http://tinyurl.com/6fcwl8
>>
>> He has cleverly hidden this over in Japan where no one would think to
>> look. (more pictures:
>> http://dvice.com/archives/2008/09/government_faci.php)
>>
>> Please take note that the "Anti-Evil Madmen" task force (or "Anti-Em"
>> for short), has been dispatched.
>
> Never fear. I'll get you all sooner or later, my pretties.
>
> (What the hell is that thing?)
(monkey hanger)
>
>> Japanese citizens in the area of Kawasaki, Shinagawa and Kisarazu are
>> warned to stay inside.
>
> Note to self: The rubes are in the know. Update target completion date
> for project Mechagodzilla.
(note to self: Accelerate completion of twenty-story can opener. double
whip order.)
>
>> Tyler Trafford: please return to the Witness Protection Program since
>> we know that Larsons' first target will be you (after all, his
>> downfall is directly attributed to you using the trebuchet in the
>> back yard and uncovering his LAST secret hideout).
>
> Trafford will return to the flock if I have to bring him back one limb
> at a time. (That is not a figure of speach.)
"speech", even. (nyuck. woof woof)
John Iwaniszek
> Jim Larson wrote:
>> Rick Savoia wrote:
>>
>>> Tyler Trafford: please return to the Witness Protection Program
>>> since we know that Larsons' first target will be you (after all, his
>>> downfall is directly attributed to you using the trebuchet in the
>>> back yard and uncovering his LAST secret hideout).
>>
>> Trafford will return to the flock if I have to bring him back one
>> limb at a time. (That is not a figure of speach.)
>
> (Photographic evidence of Jim's giant speach:
> http://tinyurl.com/speach)
speach it, brother!
John Iwaniszek
one man's trebuchet is another man's sex swing
(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex_swing)
John Iwaniszek
"fly me to the moon..."
Jim Larson
(Clearly, it was a test to verify the Traf's identity.)
--
Jim
Jim Larson
> Jim Larson wrote:
>
>> Rick Savoia wrote:
>>
>>>
>>>
>>> All, it has recently come to my attention that Larson has resumed his
>>> evil plans and has once again been recruiting for new henchmen
>>> (lackeys, if you prefer).
>>
>> I prefer to call them thralls, but that's neither here nor in the land
>> of Moria.
>>
>>> I have recently come across this ad placed on Craigslist:
>>>
>>> http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/ldn/783766933.html
>>>
>>> Under the guise of 'Jaques' he is attempting to get around the terms
>>> of his probation.
>>
>> (It is an oblique reference to my intention to replay the French
>> Revolution, a la Charles Dickens, on a global scale. I will be
>> assuming the role of Madame Defarge in this version.)
>
>
> This time do not leave ze cake out in ze rain. And for dieu's sake, this
> time write down the recipe.
>
Sacre bleu!
>>
>>> I have also found evidence that he has constructed yet another secret
>>> lair:
>>>
>>> http://tinyurl.com/6fcwl8
>>>
>>> He has cleverly hidden this over in Japan where no one would think to
>>> look. (more pictures:
>>> http://dvice.com/archives/2008/09/government_faci.php)
>>>
>>> Please take note that the "Anti-Evil Madmen" task force (or "Anti-Em"
>>> for short), has been dispatched.
>>
>> Never fear. I'll get you all sooner or later, my pretties.
>>
>> (What the hell is that thing?)
>
>
> (monkey hanger)
>
Ahhhh! Hanging monkeys...I approve.
>>
>>> Japanese citizens in the area of Kawasaki, Shinagawa and Kisarazu are
>>> warned to stay inside.
>>
>> Note to self: The rubes are in the know. Update target completion date
>> for project Mechagodzilla.
>
> (note to self: Accelerate completion of twenty-story can opener. double
> whip order.)
>
>>
>>> Tyler Trafford: please return to the Witness Protection Program since
>>> we know that Larsons' first target will be you (after all, his
>>> downfall is directly attributed to you using the trebuchet in the
>>> back yard and uncovering his LAST secret hideout).
>>
>> Trafford will return to the flock if I have to bring him back one limb
>> at a time. (That is not a figure of speach.)
>
> "speech", even. (nyuck. woof woof)
This is the interweb, where spelling is wot u mak ov it.
--
Jim
Tyler Trafford
We never saw that speach again after I posed it in the swingset.
--
Tyler Trafford
I sold my memoirs of my love life to Parker Brothers -- they're going
to make a game out of it.
-- Woody Allen