Teaser: What happens when you combine an unnameable fugitive with
a newsgroup embroiled in controversy? Come and see...
Disclaimer: Alliance owns all.
Many thanks to Beta Reader Melanie M. I could have never done
this section without her, as you'll come to see shortly... <VBG>
Part 5
Previously--
Charm dismounted from Jaina's back once more. "There's Victorias
in them thar bunkers!" she growled. "My powers can't penetrate
the Demitrite, and Jaina can't break through. We need us a
Misha."
Alex looked round to the sound of an approaching tank. "There he
is now," she said, waving to the war machine in the middle
distance.
The war machine stopped.
Charm's eyes narrowed as she focused on the tank. "That's not
Misha. That's..."
In the middle distance, they could see a cloud of smoke erupting
from the main turret of the battle tank.
"...not good," finished Charm. "Not good at all."
Carl walked over to Janice and patted her confidently on the
shoulder. "Good luck," he said, "and write fast. We're counting
on you."
Janice looked at him in confusion, then realization dawned.
"Cliffhanger ending?" she ventured.
"'Fraid so," Carl replied, as the whistling of the approaching
shell grew louder.
***
Presently--
Janice swallowed hard and thought even harder. "Thanks Carl,"
she offered with a frightened squeak. "You're far too generous!"
Deftly snapping open the magic bottomless pouch on her Sam Brown
belt, she jerked her keyboard from its depths as she offered up
thanks for the conventional use of slow motion in such scenes or
all of them would have been blasted before Carl could utter her
name. Still, while the 120mm shell might be traveling at a
fraction of its real-time speed of 3000 meters per
second, it was still traveling and Janice had bare seconds to
come up with an answer as the shrill whistling quickly grew
louder and the pitch dropped lower, the sound-effects matching
the dramatic incidental music which was building to an explosive
crescendo --
Her fingers moved at lightning speeds as the deadly projectile
sped toward them. She typed, 'Charm, Alex and Carl were all
diving for the nearest bunker. . . ' They tumbled into safety
mere
moments-- Suddenly, Janice's fingers froze and she stared down
at her keyboard in horror. "Oh no!" she cried and glanced back
up, knowing she was about to die--she'd forgotten to include
herself!
If only Melanie were here! That woman had more ideas than--
"*Christ on a bike*!" someone suddenly exclaimed from directly
behind Janice, causing her to jump out of her socks! And her
boots as well, of course. She quickly spun on her bare heel to
discover the object of her wishful thoughts wrestling with a
towel while suds dripped from her hair into her eyes. There
wasn't even time to wish her out of there again. Instead,
Janice quickly tackled the hapless woman, shielding her as best
she could in true Mountie fashion, though she knew it wouldn't do
either of them much good. Still, she had to try. She cringed
atop Melanie and wondered if virtual death would be like
permanent purple pemican limbo...
"What in the--Janice!" the other woman exclaimed and shoved the
well-intentioned author of this section off of herself before
sitting up and dragging the towel back into place. She quickly
swiped the soap from her brow before it could blind her and
glared at Janice. "Damn it! Couldn't you wait for a beta until I
was at least done with my bath?!"
Janice blinked uncomprehendingly at her for a long moment and
then snapped her head around to where the tank had-- There, not
more than a hundred meters away was the shell, frozen in midair.
She also realized that the music and sound effects had vanished.
Even the wind had been stilled.
Melanie quickly climbed to her feet and took the situation in.
"Ah! I recognize this. Having trouble with the cliffhanger Carl
handed you, huh?"
"Um, something like--that," Janice stuttered and then waved at
the frozen duesers. "What's--um..."
"Writer's Block," Melanie diagnosed easily. "The story cannot
precede until you decide what happens next. Hmmm. . . that's not
the right word. The story cannot procede until-- dammit! The
story cannot proceed! The Chaotium must be effecting me-- I
mean, the Chaotium must be affecting me as well!
"Oh dear..."
"Alex always says you're the Queen of Cliffhangers," Melanie
reminded her. "What's the problem?"
"I always know how my cliffhangers are going to end before I
start them!"
"But your readers don't," Melanie pointed out. "I'd say Carl did
an elegant little bit of revenge fic here."
"Well, um, yes, I suppose, actually quite ingenious. I'm really
flattered, but ahem--" Janice scratched her head in confusion.
"I only have a few marbles to work with here and Charm has been
playing with the rest of them. Not in this fic of course, but
--ah-- elsewhere."
Melanie frowned as her towel began to slip and quickly tucked it
more firmly into place. "It's a good thing this is virtual
snow," she muttered, "or I'd be an ice cube by now. Think you
could at least write me up some clothes in this thing?"
"Oh, um yeah, just a sec..." Janice blushed scarlet and quickly
added a few lines of text.
Melanie instantly found herself attired in her normal newsgroup
regalia, complete with sequined red serge tunic and several
layers of Kevlar butt ruffles. She smoothed the uniform and
suddenly frowned as she glanced down again, her hair falling
forward. "Ah-- Janice?" she sighed, inspecting the rich cascade
of blond hair she seemed to have acquired. Glancing down again
she discovered a figure that would make a Barbie doll jealous. "I
am not a Marilyn Monroe look-a-like."
Janice shrugged helplessly. "How am I supposed to know what you
look like?!"
Melanie frowned and cocked her head to the side. "How can you
not know what I look like when you just tackled my naked body
into the snow?"
"Ah--well--actually," Janice frowned in thought as she wrestled
with that. "This is just all virtual and we've never met. I
mean we have met but only virtually, so while I see you, I don't
see you, do you see?"
"Paradox," Melanie frowned. "The effects of the Chaotium are
getting worse. I like the blond hair, though-- probably more
because it's a rich cascade than for the color."
"Thank you. I like adjectives."
"A writer's best friend," Melanie agreed, "as long as you don't
abuse them. So um--" She glanced around again and frowned.
"Where's your muse?"
"Me and Suspensia are having a major fight over the next part of
the Red Serge series," Janice answered, engaging in shameless
self-promotion. "She's off in a major huff."
"Suspensia and I," Melanie corrected. "Not a good time to be
without your muse."
Janice grunted in agreement and frowned down at her hands, still
poised unmoving over her keyboard. "I never thought I'd be
thankful for Writer's Block."
"First time for everything," Melanie nodded. "Of course you know
your fellow newsgroup members will lynch you if you don't break
through it fast."
"Thanks for the motivation. Any suggestions?"
"How do you usually break through a Writer's Block?"
"I write something else and let my sub-conscious wrestle with
it."
Melanie frowned. "Good way to get lynched." Her head suddenly
snapped up and she smiled, "or maybe not. Just write another
scene!"
"You mean ignore this scene and come back to it later?"
"Sure!" Melanie shrugged. "It can't hurt to try."
Janice scowled down at her bare toes and wriggled them in the
snow. They were quite cold and turning blue despite the virtual
reality of the newsgroup. "Can I put my socks and boots back on
first?"
"Hey, you're the writer," Melanie reminded her. "You can do
whatever you want!"
Janice plopped down and quickly slid her foot into a wool sock as
she thought. She glanced up and cocked her head to the side. "Is
Vic still with us?"
"Shhhhh!" Melanie exclaimed is surprise. "Good Grief, Janice!
You don't need me to remind you not to say *that* name!
"Not Vic---. *Vic*!" she answered with a smile. "You know, the
proud non-smoking keeper of the Riv's cigarette lighter? Keeper
of the electrocution scene from 'We are the Eggmen'? Founder of
the Due South Musical Ride?"
"Oooohhhh," Melanie slapped her forehead. "*That* Vic! You
know, she's pretty busy with medical school right now-- but I'm
sure she'd come if there was a medical emergency."
Janice grinned maliciously as she laced her boots at record
speed. "Cool!" she decided and grabbed up her keyboard again.
***
Elsewhere--
Vic frowned as she reviewed Stan's chart in the infirmary. The
poor man was not doing well. All vitals signs were depressed and
she was having a hard time keeping his blood pressure stable.
"Why is it that in poison clichés, only the villain has the
antidote?" she sighed in frustration and glanced over at Dancin'
Joe as the worried horse adjusted the man's oxygen flow-- which
was not an easy task with hooves. He was suppose to be the
newsgroup mascot after all, not a nurse.
"And they always have a twenty-four hour time limit," the equine
neighed softly.
"And we won't get the antidote until the last second," she
agreed.
A sudden crash out in the triage area jerked Vic's head around.
"Stay with him," she instructed the horse. "I'll check it out."
Vic wasn't quite sure what she expected to find, but it
definitely wasn't-- "Victori--I mean--Oh dear!"
The classically beautiful woman glanced around in obvious
confusion as she struggled to her feet. "Where--what--?"
"The Newsgroup Infirmary," Vic supplied, hurrying forward and
offering her a hand up. The Medical Oaths she'd taken long ago
required her to give aid to whomever might need it. Besides, she
was a member of the VV Anti-Vigilante Brigade. As such, she
should take the woman into custody, but first things first. "I'm
the Chief Medical Officer. Are you hurt--VM? Can I call you
VM?"
"Infirm--This isn't the clinic," the other frowned sharply.
"What's--VM?"
"Well, it's your initials," Vic explained. "We can't say your
name here or --Didn't Sass already explain this?"
"My initials are SH for Sydney Hansen," she answered firmly.
"Dr. Sydney Hansen. Who's VM?"
"Oh dear..." Vic sighed, realizing belatedly that she was dealing
with the Melina Kanakaredes character from the show ‘Providence.'
Just then an strident alarm split the air and both woman rushed
into the other room.
"He's stopped breathing!" Joe exclaimed frantically
To her credit, or maybe as a side effect of the Chaotium that had
brought her here, Dr. Hansen didn't react to the presence of a
talking horse acting as a nurse. She took in the situation with
one glance. "Intubation tray, now!" she snapped.
***
"You're not going to leave it there, are you?" Melanie asked in
concern.
Janice simply offered a very evil grin and started a new
scene....
***
Meanwhile--
She-whose-name-must-not-be-mentioned was holed up in an empty
bunker trying to figure out her next move. Those stupid
Vigilantes were going to ruin everything! It wasn't like she'd
ever done anything to them. She loved Ben. And Ben loved her.
If only everyone would leave them alone, she was sure--
There was someone approaching the bunker. Deftly, the woman
inside drew the small phaser Sass had provided --for self-defense
of course-- and waited, hoping whoever it was would simply pass
her by. It was a man, she realized, and frowned. He was
muttering to himself and the voice seemed familiar-- Apparently
he wasn't watching where he was going because with a surprised
cry, he tumbled into the bunker and landed right on top of Vic--
ahem, VM, accidentally pinning her arm to the side so she
couldn't fire her weapon.
"Get off me you big--" VM struggled briefly and then froze as she
found herself staring into a pair of blue-grey eyes that she knew
she'd never forget. "Ben?" she whispered in shock.
The man atop her made no move to get up, merely smiling down at
the beauty beneath him and enjoying their rather-- close contact.
Too bad she'd stopped struggling, he thought. "Don't know anyone
named Ben," he offered with a smile that could charm the sun into
rising in the middle of the night. "The name's Patrick, Patrick
Kelly. Will I do?"
***
"Oh heavens, Janice!" Melanie exclaimed. "Patrick Kelly from
‘Murder Most Likely'? They're perfect for each other! It's a
match made in hell. I only have one request: Could you write a
balcony scene for them?"
"Balcony? As in have him throw her off?" Janice offered an
amused glare over her shoulder. "I'm the head of the
Anti-Vigilantes. ‘She deserves a fair trial' and all that,
remember?"
"Just a thought..." Melanie sighed and frowned as she read over
Janice's shoulder--
***
On the other side of the tundra--
"Whoa--" the young man offered, pulling off his goggles and
staring up at the Gryphon who'd just landed in front of him. "I
musta taken a nasty spill in my last slalom eight practice run."
"Ben!" Demeter exclaimed, disengaging herself from the furry
taloned leg. "What are you doing out here alone? VM's hunting
for you! Where are the rest of the Vigilantes?"
"Ben?" he asked, confused, and ran a hand through his dark curls,
curls that Demeter suddenly realized were too long. The face was
too young as well and since when did Ben ever wear a ski suit...
"I think you've got me confused with someone else. The name's
T.J., T.J. Burke. Could you tell me where the hell I am?"
***
"TJ's from ‘Aspen Extreme! What are you trying to do?" Melanie
exclaimed. "Introduce all the other characters the actors of Due
South ever played?!"
"‘Wish I could," Janice muttered, "but I haven't seen much of
their other stuff. Besides, the Chaotium has yet to break down
the seven page limit."
"Thank God!"
"Time to tackle the Writer's Block."
"Who are you going to introduce now? Hamlet?"
"Oooo! Great idea!" Janice decided and suddenly frowned at the
frozen scene before her. Something about it wasn't right.
"Grrr!" she exclaimed as it suddenly hit her. Bunkers! "This
isn't supposed to be the Newbie Welcoming Area!" She quickly
repositioned the cursor and hit the backspace key.
Suddenly Charm, Alex and Carl were moving in reverse and the
conviently placed bunker disappeared. The shell moved about
twenty meters backwards and the group now stood frozen in
mid-leap, lunge and dive. "Hmmm... That's better," Janice
decided. "Now--"
***
Back at the scene of Carl's crime--(Hey, he handed me a
cliffhanger!)
A sudden beam of intense light intersected the speeding shell
with computer guided precision and blasted it out of the air as
the newsgroup members hit the dirt. A dark shadow loomed over
the area as the Delta Flier came to hover protectively over them
and faced off with their unknown assailant.
***
"Who's in the tank?" Melanie wanted to know.
"Ask Carl," Janice answered, "I have to leave something for the
next writer to play with."
"Well then...who's flying the Delta Flier?"
"Sasscat."
"Sass is supposed to be HERE," Melanie offered emphatically.
"She admitted to making the clones and told you she'd dropped VM
off in the tundra. Jaina's supposed to be here too, come to
think of it. Charm rode her here."
Janice smiled and shrugged. "Plot holes," she offered. "They're
getting bad. Blame it on the Chaotium!"
Melanie shook her head. "Janice, Janice, Janice..."
"What?" she asked with a perfect wide eyed Mountie look. "It was
Alex who called me the Queen of Cliffhangers," she reminded the
Empress of Beta. "I'm merely living up to my reputation!"
The Marilyn Monroe look-alike offered a dainty frown and shook
her head. "Well," she offered with a sigh, hoping to get Janice
to rewrite the scene, "you forgot to include yourself again."
"No I haven't!" Janice answered with a truly evil grin that
eclisped all grins before it--
***
Janice, reacting too belatedly to the threat, was thrown several
feet through the air by the powerful blast. She lay there
trembling in abject terror as she realized just how close she'd
come to death. Reaction hit her hard. She abruptly rolled to
her knees and proceeded to be violently ill.
Someone came and knelt beside her, a cool hand supporting her
head as she shuddered and fought to control herself. Another
hand gently rubbed her back in comforting circles. She closed
her eyes and sat back with a sigh.
A voice she could never mistake offered, "Art thou well?"
Janice looked up to find herself drowning in a blue-grey gaze.
"Hamlet..." she sighed.
"Thou dost know me?" he asked even as he deigned to help Janice
rise. "I fear thou hast the advantage Lady. Perhaps thou art a
guiding angel and I but forget my dieing, yet--" He offered a
broad gesture to indicate the vast tundra and the unknown Delta
Flier hovering over them, "--t'is most assuredly not what the
priests teach that heaven t'will be. Have my sins then overflown
my virtues and sent me elsewhere? T'is a most strange clime to
which my scatter'ed wits ha' brought me!"
***
"Guiding angel, huh?" Melanie grinned merrily. "Well, if Marian
can write herself into a romantic situation, I guess you can
too."
"I thought it only appropriate," Janice smiled. "After all, he's
kinda lost his marbles too!"
***
TO BE CONTINUED....
(Insane cackling echos across the tundra! See what happens when
SOMEONE plays around with my marbles? VEG!)
--
Janice
Proud Keeper of The Great Yukon Double Douglas Fir Telescoping
Bank Shot, the little tug Benton gives his collar whenever he's
embarrassed and all of his blushes!
Temporary but Diligent Guardian of Fraser's "broken face" in CotW
for Voyagerbabe.
* Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet's Discussion Network *
The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet - Free!
<Anything chuckles as she wipes the tears from her eyes> Very nice, Janice!
Especially all the new characters!
____
Anything
Tree
---
Keeper of Victoria's love, tears, and guilt for Ben. Their kiss, and
the preordained right to defend her anytime, anyplace, regardless...
Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Before you buy.
HLOLARAWCHAWMP!!!!!!!!! I can't slee the beykoard 4 the
teeeers!!!!!!!!! This was too hilarious!!!
Janice, you and Melanie cannot conspire to produce another
story like this ever again. My sides can't take it! I
think I may actually be dying! Don't be surprised if you
and Melanie get a bill from my family for my funeral
expenses!! (You can pass a third of it off to Lawley, Carl
Lawley who forced you into this.)
Alex
P.S. Even my cheeks ache from laughing!
You're welcome. 8)
>"Alex always says you're the Queen of Cliffhangers," Melanie
>reminded her. "What's the problem?"
>
>"I always know how my cliffhangers are going to end before I
>start them!"
<*Gasp*> That's CHEATING!
>"My initials are SH for Sydney Hansen," she answered firmly.
>"Dr. Sydney Hansen. Who's VM?"
>
>"Oh dear..." Vic sighed, realizing belatedly that she was dealing
>with the Melina Kanakaredes character from the show ‘Providence.'
>Just then an strident alarm split the air and both woman rushed
>into the other room.
Um, What's 'Providence'? (Misha might like to know)
>Janice simply offered a very evil grin and started a new
>scene....
See? Look? You deserved it. 8(
>The man atop her made no move to get up, merely smiling down at
>the beauty beneath him and enjoying their rather-- close contact.
>Too bad she'd stopped struggling, he thought. "Don't know anyone
>named Ben," he offered with a smile that could charm the sun into
>rising in the middle of the night. "The name's Patrick, Patrick
>Kelly. Will I do?"
Nope, we haven't seen Murder Most Likely here either. 8(
>"Ben?" he asked, confused, and ran a hand through his dark curls,
>curls that Demeter suddenly realized were too long. The face was
>too young as well and since when did Ben ever wear a ski suit...
>
>"I think you've got me confused with someone else. The name's
>T.J., T.J. Burke. Could you tell me where the hell I am?"
...Though I have seen Aspen Extreme. 8)
>"Who's in the tank?" Melanie wanted to know.
>
>"Ask Carl," Janice answered, "I have to leave something for the
>next writer to play with."
I don't know. Perhaps you could ask Misha?
>"Well then...who's flying the Delta Flier?"
>
>"Sasscat."
>
>"Sass is supposed to be HERE," Melanie offered emphatically.
>"She admitted to making the clones and told you she'd dropped VM
>off in the tundra. Jaina's supposed to be here too, come to
>think of it. Charm rode her here."
Yes, but she admitted it to her sister Zeborah?!
>Janice smiled and shrugged. "Plot holes," she offered. "They're
>getting bad. Blame it on the Chaotium!"
Oh, Okay. 8)
>Melanie shook her head. "Janice, Janice, Janice..."
>
>"What?" she asked with a perfect wide eyed Mountie look. "It was
>Alex who called me the Queen of Cliffhangers," she reminded the
>Empress of Beta. "I'm merely living up to my reputation!"
Empress of Beta. That's just about right. 8) We're not worthy...
>TO BE CONTINUED....
LOL. Very good indeed.
Carl J Lawley
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I can guess it's probably a show with Paul in it, but otherwise, Carl's
spot on; I know nothing about it......
Not that it matters...... I had this massive brainstorming session for
my part, and filled up one side of an A4 envelope with ideas, so anybody
who's not in a show I know may well be plotholed out of the story.....
But I'm quite interested to know, anyway
>Nope, we haven't seen Murder Most Likely here either. 8(
Somebody really should get the PG fan club to campaign for equal rights
worldwide.....
>...Though I have seen Aspen Extreme. 8)
So, maybe you could, uh, fill me in?
>
>>"Who's in the tank?" Melanie wanted to know.
>>
>>"Ask Carl," Janice answered, "I have to leave something for the
>>next writer to play with."
>
>I don't know. Perhaps you could ask Misha?
I don't know who's in it (yet), but whoever it is better have some
Demeterite body armour for when I catch up with them..... <Misha strokes
a set of blueprints rolled-up next to him, and laughs insanely>
>Empress of Beta. That's just about right. 8) We're not worthy...
Maybe I can break my own world record for punctuation errors......
>LOL. Very good indeed.
I concur. Boy, I'm going to have fun with this........ ;)
Misha "Einstein" Sumra
One-man-army and chief military officer of the pyrotechnicians
Keeper of all the women who've ever made passes at Fraser
in episodes of DS, and of the weapons Muldoon was
supplying in CotW
When emailing me, be sure to remove the spamshield first
> >Um, What's 'Providence'? (Misha might like to know)
>
> I can guess it's probably a show with Paul in it, but otherwise, Carl's
> spot on; I know nothing about it......>
I've never seen it, but Providence is the series starring Melina Kanekaredes
(who played you-know-who). It has been suggested that PG could turn up in
it as Melina's long-lost criminal boyfriend who tears her life apart . . .
LS
It's not PG, it's Melina Kanadaredes who's in "Providence."
I've never watched more than a few minutes of the show, perhaps
in part because I can't get VM out of my head. I have the same
visceral reaction when I see the actor who played Frank Zuko
playing a defense attorney on "Law & Order." Word is, it's a
very heartwarming drama (some have labeled it a "Chick Drama").
I copied this synopsis of the series' pilot from the Welcome to
Providence website:
http://members.tripod.com/welcometoprovidence/index.html
Los Angeles plastic-surgeon-to-the-stars Dr. Sydney Hansen takes
a second look at her life and decides to head back to her roots.
Syd lives the lush life in California - lucrative practice,
power-broker boyfriend, celebrity clients - but it isn't until
she revisits her Providence, R.I., home that she realizes where
her values should lie.
In the opener, Syd's very-pregnant sister, Joannie, prepares for
her wedding. But when mom dies on the big day, Syd must choose
between her fabulous life on the West Coast and a life caring
for those who need her most. After a run-in with her
veterinarian dad - and a visit from a ghost - Sydney makes a
decision that changes all the rules for the entire Hansen clan.
Bottom line: Sydney Hansen, despite her strong physical
resemblence to VM, is a VERY NICE PERSON.
I hope that helps. If anybody who knows more about "Providence"
than I do--and that wouldn't be hard to do!--please feel free to
jump in and correct me.
Melanie M
>
> I've never seen it, but Providence is the series starring Melina
Kanekaredes
> (who played you-know-who). It has been suggested that PG could turn
up in
> it as Melina's long-lost criminal boyfriend who tears her life apart
. . .
>
> LS
ROTFLMAO!!!!!! That would be a welcome sight. Syd an utter
embarassment to Vic's good name. beleive me LS your not missing
anything, if you do try and give it a shot take a hardy dose of
dramamine and hour beforehand--then maybe--just maybe you might keep
your cookies down.
Tree
> >Nope, we haven't seen Murder Most Likely here either. 8(
>
> Somebody really should get the PG fan club to campaign for equal rights
> worldwide.....
Yeah, like, in New Zealand! One, count them, *one* movie with a Due
South actor in.
> >...Though I have seen Aspen Extreme. 8)
>
> So, maybe you could, uh, fill me in?
Paul Gross is a ski instructor, or so I'm told.
> >>"Who's in the tank?" Melanie wanted to know.
> >>
> >>"Ask Carl," Janice answered, "I have to leave something for the
> >>next writer to play with."
> >
> >I don't know. Perhaps you could ask Misha?
>
> I don't know who's in it (yet), but whoever it is better have some
> Demeterite body armour for when I catch up with them..... <Misha strokes
> a set of blueprints rolled-up next to him, and laughs insanely>
Fraser! He disappeared, remember? Acting out of character? Oh, please
tell me Fraser's trying to blow up VM. :)
Sasscat
too many movies I want to see...
> Not that it matters...... I had this massive brainstorming session for
> my part, and filled up one side of an A4 envelope with ideas, so
anybody
> who's not in a show I know may well be plotholed out of the story.....
> But I'm quite interested to know, anyway
Don't get rid of patrick! don't care about the others but he's vital
to my plans.
> >...Though I have seen Aspen Extreme. 8)
Well that puts you ahead of me. Although i'm afraid of what border
that's going to send me over, i've taken enough estrogen surpressants
in the last week.
>
> I concur. Boy, I'm going to have fun with this........ ;)
<whimper> be nice please......I follow you and I've never done this
before....