OT: Bonehead News - Wilbert Robinson Bio!
Graeme
BONEHEAD CLUB SCORES, 4/10/3
319: Tony Troll
20: The Vampire
12: Jeannand
10: LRESA500
6: spfoley
5: BuzzHackett
4: DPrim47281
4: Nanoot2
3: Guy
3: Fred Herring
3: Bassettguy2020
2: wjb02
2: David Windhorst
2: GraemeCree
2: Ruski 276
2: undeadforever
2: Willow Rosenberg
1: Postcool
1: Amber
1: Baldwidow
1: Julie
1: Anim8rfsk
1: Meg A.
1: David Nahmod
1: Walter Ian Kaye
1: Wilbert Robinson
0: Dumorte
0: Knockknee
0: JoeyTrom
T.E.F. (Troll Efficiency Factor): 21.6%
PEACETIME EDITION
More than a month since our last update. With our troll off licking its
wounds after the last defeat (an image best not to think about too deeply)
we're in the usual lull as it prepares for the next futile assault. I'd like
to take advantage of this lull to do something I've wanted to do for a while
now: present a short biography of our glorious founder, Wilbert Robinson, who
first instituted the Bonehead Club in 1925.
Baseball fans will enjoy this. Non-fans... might still find a few things
to laugh about, but no guarantees here. It even has a (paper thin) Dark
Shadows connection. So, without further ado...
WILBERT ROBINSON
Born 1863, Died 1934
Nickname: "Uncle Robbie"
Brother of Fred Robinson (Who??)
Played in the Majors: 1886-1902 (17 seasons)
Managed: 1902, 1914-1931 (22 seasons)
Elected to the Hall of Fame: 1945
Played: Catcher (with a few very rare forays to 1B and OF)
Teams:
4½ years for Philadelphia (American Association)
1½ years for Baltimore (American Association)
8 years for the infamous National League Baltimore Orioles
1 year for the Saint Louis Cardinals
2 years for the original American League Baltimore Orioles (who went on
to become the New York Highlanders the year after he retired, and later went on
to become the New York Yankees.
NOTE: Team names have been frequently reused throughout baseball history. The
current Milwaukee Brewers franchise that was founded in 1969 (as the Seattle
Pilots) has no relation to the Milwaukee Brewerws franchise that played in the
AL in 1901 and then became the Saint Louis Browns the next year. There were a
couple of New York Mets teams in the 19th century that had nothing to do with
the current one founded in 1962. Multiple Baltimore Orioles, multiple Saint
Louis Browns, et cetera. They just do this to confuse us.
LIFETIME CAREER STATS:
Home Runs: 18 (Yes, 18 homers in 17 seasons. Remember, this was the dead
ball era.)
Batting Average: .273 (Best: .353 in 1894; 5 .300+ seasons)
Games: 1371
Stolen Bases: 163 (not bad for a catcher)
Hits: 1669
WILBERT'S NUMBERS IN 1897
(to try to give this some relevance to Dark Shadows)
G: 48
BA: .315
AB: 181
Singles: 57
Doubles: 9
Triples: 0
Home Runs: 0
Runs: 25
RBI's: 23
BB: 8
SB: 0
MANAGERIAL RECORD
1902: Baltimore Orioles (not the current ones, the ones that later
became the Yankees)
1914-1931: Brooklyn Dodgers
Lifetime Managing Record: 1399-1398, with 21 ties
World Series
1916: Lost 4 games to 1, to the Boston Red Sox (Yes Virginia, there was a
time, VERY long ago, when the Red Sox actually won a couple of world series)
1920: Lost 5 games to 2, to the Cleveland Indians
Wilbert was elected to the Hall of Fame in 1945. His plaque at Cooperstown
(which you can see online at
http://www.baseballhalloffame.org/hofers_and_honorees/plaques/robinson_wil
bert.htm), reads:
WILBERT ROBINSON
"Uncle Robbie"
Star catcher for the famous
Baltimore Orioles on Pennant Clubs
of 1894, '95 and '96. He later won fame
as Manager of the Brooklyn Dodgers
from 1914 through 1931. Set a record of
7 hits in 7 times at bat in single game.
Frankly, these numbers are good, but not fantastic. I've seen much better
numbers from players that aren't in the hall. And they've completely ignored
his crowning achievement; the founding of the Bonehead Club. Fortunately,
though the Hall of Fame may have forgotten about it, the Hall of Shame did not.
This from a book entitled "The Baseball Hall of Shame", by Bruce Nash and Allan
Zullo, who inducted him into Blooperstown in the category of "Baseball MBA's;
Dishonorary Degrees for Managers of Blundering Actions":
>>
WILBERT ROBINSON
Brooklyn, N.L. 1925
Wilbert Robinson was the founder and charter memeber of the Bonehead Club of
Ebbets Field. You would think that anyone in a Dodger uniform back then would
automatically qualify for membership, but manager Robinson decided to formalize
it by setting certain requirements.
The idea was to cut down on the blundering and cavorting on the field that were
the trademarks of the Bums. The rules were simple. Every time a player pulled
a boner he put $10 in the pot and joined the Bonehead Club. Robinson figured
that given a typical Dodger season, by the end of the year they would have more
money in the pot than they would get from the winner's share of the World
Series take - assuming they made it that far.
Great idea! But it didn't last out the day. Robinson called the whole thing
off after he handed the umpires the wrong lineup card at the start of the game
and had to ante up the first ten bucks!
-- pages 104-105.
>>
Now, I mentioned the "infamous" Baltimore Oriole teams of the 1890's earlier.
When I was a kid and read baseball history books, I remember reading about this
team and the outrageous cheating they got away with. They... well, I don't
need to tell you, the Hall of Shame remembers it, too. This from "The Baseball
Hall of Shame 2", inducted under the category "Every Trick in the Book: The
Sneakiest Cheating Perpetrated by Players":
>>
BALTIMORE ORIOLES
1893-1899
The Baltimore Orioles didn't invent cheating, but they developed it into a
precise science, earning a reputation as the dirtiest team in baseball history.
There was no trick in the book unknown to this rapscallion crew. Misguided by
manager Ned Hanlon, crafty stars John McGraw, Willie Keeler, Wilbert Robinson,
Hughey Jennings, and the rest of the conniving Orioles could fleece a con man
out of his last dime.
They were blatant about pulling off their skullduggery at home games. If,
during a Baltimore rally, a rival infielder was about to scoop up an easy
grounder, he was suddenly blinded by an unexpected flash of light. Forced to
turn his head away, he allowed the ball to skip past him for a hit. This was
the insidious work of Oriole conspirators, who used hand mirrors to reflect the
sun into the infielder's eyes.
Back then, foul balls hit into the stands or out of the park were returned.
But in Baltimore, furtive fans threw back substitute balls that had been
deadened by the Orioles. The next time such a doctored ball was hit - no
matter how hard - by an opponent, it either blooped weakly into an infielder's
glove or rolled dead near the pitcher's mound.
The players ordered head groundskeeper Tom Murphy to slope the third base foul
line toward the infield so their bunts would curl fair. Murphy was also told
to keep the outfield grass so tall that it would resemble a rye field. This
made it easy for the Orioles to hide a baseball or two for one of their
patented tricks. Often, an opposing slugger hit a long drive that appeared to
fly past a Baltimore outfielder. But the batter was held to only a single
because the clever Oriole picked up one of the balls strategically hidden in
the high grass and threw it back to the infield.
One time, however, the scheme backfired. Left fielder Joe Kelley made a
perfect throw with a planted ball to shoot down a runner at third base, only to
see center fielder Steve Brodie chase down the batted ball and fire it back to
the infield, too.
Baltimore runners took advantage of the fact that games in those days were
officiated by only one umpire, who stood in the middle of the field. When
sprinting from first base to third, or second to home, the Orioles mastered the
fine art of taking shortcuts across the diamond behind the back of the
beleaguered umpire.
Enemy runners took their lives in their hands. As they tried to dash around
the base paths, they were bumped, blocked, tripped, pushed, and spiked by the
win-at-all-costs Orioles.
If a runner ever did make it to third, John McGraw used a little additional
chicanery of his own to stop the foe from scoring. McGraw slipped his fingers
through the runner's belt and held him just long enough to give a Baltimore
fielder a better chance of throwing him out at the plate.
Once, in a game at Louisville, McGraw hooked his fingers inside the belt of
Pete Browning, who was on third hoping to score. Tricking the trickster,
Browning loosened his belt buckle. Then, on the next hit, he raced home,
leaving a startled McGraw holding nothing but the belt.
Although Browning managed to put a temporary halt to hat stunt, the Orioles
could always pull another one out of their bag of dirty tricks.
--pages 35-36
>>
A few notes about this induction.
1) John McGraw is actually the turkey New York Giants manager who
forfeited the World Series to the Pilgrims/Red Sox in 1904, out of fear of
having the American League win the first two. The next year McGraw found the
nerve to actually play the series, won it, and the year after the Giants wore
jerseys that just said "World Champs" across the front.
2) The trick of curving the 3rd base foul line is something that the
Phillies tried again in the 1950's, nicknaming it the "Ashburn Ridge", since it
was mainly there to help Richie Ashburn.
3) The National League Baltimore Orioles lasted from 1892 through the 1899
season. In 1900, they were eliminated along with the Louisville Colonels,
Cleveland Spiders and NL Washington Senators, when the National League
contracted from 12 teams down to 8, where it stayed for over a half century
until the Mets and Colt .45's were added in 1962.
4) The Orioles finished first in 1894-1896, and second in 1897. In those
days (with the American Association gone and the American League not there
yet), the top two NL teams played in something called the Temple Cup Series,
which the Orioles lost twice and won twice.
1894: Lost to the NY Giants, 4-0
1895: Lost to the Cleveland Spiders 4-1
1896: Beat the Cleveland Spiders 4-0
1897: Beat the Boston Beaneaters (later called the Braves) 4-1
5) The Cleveland Spiders (eliminated in 1900 along with the Orioles), have
their own place in infamy. Their owner bought another team, and dissected the
Spiders to put all the best players from both teams on the other one (For
example, Cy Young went 25-13 on the 1898 Spiders, but was gone in 1899, along
with all the other stars). As a result, they were certifiably the worst team
in baseball history in 1899. Much worse than even the 1962 Mets. Their record
was 20-134 (compared to the '62 Mets 40-120 record). Winning percentage:
.130, easily the worst in baseball history. 84 games out of first place. The
two pitching "aces" on the staff went 4-22, and 4-30. They only played 41
games out of 154 at home because nobody would come to see them. They ended the
season by dropping 40 out of the last 41 games.
6) Did they say Steve Brodie back there? Wasn't that the guy that Bugs
Bunny made jump off the Brooklyn Bridge?
PS: I'm sure the burning question on everyone's mind now is who the heck was
Fred Robinson, the brother of our glorious founder? Was he a major leaguer?
Uh... well, just barely. He played 3 games at second base for the Cincinnati
team of the Union Association in 1884.
JUDAH ZACHERY MEMORIAL TROPHY CASE
Dedicated to displaying the heads of trolling accounts known to have died
in the line of duty. In the interest of harmony, you-know-who has been
removed, not that that will be at all appreciated or thanked.
suzi...@hotmail.com
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FredHerrring
>From: graem...@aol.compost (Graeme)
Thanks for keeping score and posting the update!
> Baseball fans will enjoy this. Non-fans... might still find a few things
>to laugh about, but no guarantees here. It even has a (paper thin) Dark
>Shadows connection.
...and they both use bats.
Walter Ian Kaye
FredHerrring wrote:
>>From: graem...@aol.compost (Graeme)
>> Baseball fans will enjoy this. Non-fans... might still find a few things
>>to laugh about, but no guarantees here. It even has a (paper thin) Dark
>>Shadows connection.
>
>...and they both use bats.
Star Trek V was on tonight (I didn't watch, just caught the end), and I just
couldn't help making a connection. This message thread will serve as segue...
o/` Fly, fly, fly the bat
Gently from the string
Scarily, scarily, scarily, scarily
Death is but a fling
Seal, seal, seal the crypt
David's caught inside
Hurriedly, hurriedly, hurriedly, hurriedly
Barney needs a bride
Throw, throw, throw the ball
Sing an English song
Luckily, luckily, luckily, luckily
Sarah came along
Stake, stake, stake the vamp
Right into the heart
Bloodily, bloodily, bloodily, bloodily
Good thing they don't fart
OK, I should have ended with Sarah. ;)
-boo :)=
Graeme
Speaking of that, did you know that Trek V is no longer the lowest grossing
Trek film? Nemesis grossed 10 million dollars less than even Trek V, despite
the fact that V was taking in 1989 dollars.
The Ghost of Sarah Collins
message news:O2ula.7598$io.2...@iad-read.news.verio.net...
Very well done! I've never enjoyed singing this song so much in centuries...
thank you Walter Ian Kaye.
The Ghost of Sarah Collins (1784-1795)
Sister to Barnabas...@}{~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(ROTFLOL)
"That evil is wicked is well understood,
the wicked are punished so you must be good"
(Sarah to Barnabas)
to send e-mail be sure to exorcise "The Ghost"