FANFIC - Blood and Irony (1/6)

[First Speaker Schol-R-LEA;2]

Blood and Irony
---------------
Part 1

J Osako, 18 April 1998
Last Revised 28 April 1998
Daria is owned by MTV Networks. Used without permission. Daria created
by Glenn Eicher.

I wake up, like usual, to the sound of the universe shouting in my
ear. Sitting up in bed, I try to clear my mind of everything. Well.
That seemed to do the trick; now only my bedroom is overwhelming me. A
vast improvement, to be sure. Certainly better than when I still
needed an alarm clock.

A quick trip to the bathroom leaves me feeling chipper, or at least as
close to it as I ever get in the normal run of things. I wonder if
anyone noticed that I just took an 8.9 second shower...and stepped out
of the bathroom dry. Not likely. The 'rents are both downstairs by
now, busy getting ready for work, and the day that Quinn gets up
before 7:30 is the day I join the Pep Squad.

Well, that grasping sensation in my skull tells me that Jane is awake,
too. The phrase *What a way to start the morning, huh?* seeps up from
my subconscious. *Yup, must be why we do it every day*, I think back.

If this is as wierd as the day gets today, we'll be pretty well off.

...

As it happens, it turns out to be a typically boring morning. By the
time lunch rolls around I'm actually eager to talk about the stranger
things in life with Jane.

"So, Tommy's been kinda quiet, right?"

A sour look crosses her face. "Yeah. I'm hoping he's gone for good
this time, but with my luck he'll show up again eventually."

"Hey, it's not like you meant to kill him or anything. You didn't know
what you were doing. I mean, its not like he deserved to die, but he
didn't really deserve to live, either."

"Thanks, Daria, that cheers me up so." Her expression gets meaner.

"Let's not dwell on it. I still want to know what we should do about
Brittany."

She sighs. "Listen, I know you said that her aura..."

"I didn't say aura. I hate that word, it sounds like something my
mother would have said when she and dad were cutting college classes."

"Like I was saying, that her aura was the only one around here that
was like mine."

"No, I said that it was the only one except yours that was stronger
than everyone elses', except maybe mine." Unlike Jane, I haven't
learned how to look at myself without a mirror.

"Right. And that makes you think that she might have some of these
wierd psychic powers that we've got."

"I dunno. It isn't like we know much about this. I mean, odd things
have always happened to both of us...like how I knew not to eat the
psychedelic berries, or how I always just happened to catch," my voice
lowers a bit, "Beavis and Butthead just when I could embarrass them
most. Or how you can always tell when something was about to fall
apart. But its only been since the Tommy Sherman thing that its gotten
so obvious."

"OK, but what does that have to do with Princess Glitter over..." she
pauses to look around, "Where is she anyway?"

"Don't ask me. The point I'm making - in case you missed it the first
five times - is that this kind of power in the hands of someone that
stupid could make Lawndale look like the ending of _Carrie_."

"And that would be a bad thing?" she said, grinning.

"You may have a point. The problem is, I have *one of those feelings*
that its going to happen very soon. We should at least be ready..."

Suddenly, there was a lot of noise from outside in the hall, and half
the cafeteria crowd started heading for the door. It seems it was
little too late for being prepared.

...

After about five minutes, the crowd around the door sort of congeals
as people realize that pushing won't get things moving faster. Jane
starts to get up, but I wave her down.

"Don't bother. School security will be breaking it up soon anyway." No
sooner had I said that, than the kids at the door start filtering back
in, mumbling and pissed off. "I'm sure they'll have an announcement
about it in a few minutes."

Well, its was about ten minutes, but sure enough Ms. Li's voice came
over the intercomm. "Students of Lawndale, your attention please. It
is my sad duty to inform you that, due to a terrible accident in the
gymnasium, classes will be cancelled for the rest of the day. We ask
that you remain in your classrooms for the next twenty minutes so that
an ambulance crew can come in to help the injured teacher."

Jane suddenly looked pale. "That's bullsh--," she said in too loud a
voice, "someone's dead and they don't want us to see what happened..."
she turned even paler, suddenly, as she realised that several of the
others were staring at her. "What are you looking at?" she growled.

Then the chair she was sitting on fell apart.

"Sh--!" she shouted. Everyone in the room looked in our direction.
"NOTHING TO LOOK AT, FOLKS! Move along quietly!" I say to tha gawkers.
Then, once their attention was elsewhere, I said to her, "Uh, so why
didn't know that was coming?"

"Who knows? Damn, that hurt...", she said, sitting back down on
another chair. It broke, too.

"YOOOW!" she cried. You know, I don't think I've ever since her this
angry before...

"Hey, Janey, puttin' on some weight there? I can help you get some
exercise, if you know what I mean...rrrwr!"

"DROP..." "Jane, no!" I shouted, interrupting her. The last thing she
needs is another corpse on her hands. Once again, everyone is looking
at us, and I'm too distracted by now to stop her from kicking Upchuck
in the nuts.

To be honest, I'd almost say that the look on his face right then was
worth catching hell for. Almost, except that the campus guards were
already really edgy, and one of them rushes in and starts waving a
Maglite in our faces.

"Okay, which of you started this?!?!"

All in all, a rotten day...

To Be Continued

--
Schol-R-LEA;2, ELF BiWM MGT POEE JAM LCF GS SMOF KCO
First Speaker, Last Eristic Church of Finagle and Holy Bisexuality
"Midge, do you have any dating tips for Cherry?" "Always remember
to lock the door." || Now on Slip '.' Net as 'scholr'