SNL reruns this week (Oct 21-27)
Frank Serpas III
along with episode summaries taken from the SNL Episode Guide, which
is available at SATURDAY NET (http://www.io.com/~serpas/snl.html).
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~~~
This Saturday night's episode is new...
00c DAC / The Wallflowers
In some markets, it will be followed by a "classic" episode.
~~~
The Comedy Network (available in Canada) is showing...
90-minute versions of episodes from the '92-'93 season on weekends &
60-minute versions of episodes from the '83-'84 season on weekdays.
~~~
Comedy Central will air 60-minute versions of the following (all times EDT)...
Sa 21-Oct-00
noon 96a Tom Hanks / Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers
6:00pm 98a Cameron Diaz / The Smashing Pumpkins
Su 22-Oct-00
2:00am 90a Kyle McLachlan / Sinead O'Connor
3:00am 86b Malcolm-Jamal Warner / Run DMC, Buster Poindexter
Mo 23-Oct-00
noon 89r Alec Baldwin / The B-52's
1:00pm 96s John Goodman / Jewel
6:00pm 98j Bill Paxton / Beck
midnite 92j Danny DeVito / Bon Jovi
2:00am 91n Roseanne & Tom Arnold / Red Hot Chili Peppers
3:00am 86c Rosanna Arquette / Ric Ocasek
Tu 24-Oct-00
noon 92l Luke Perry / Mick Jagger
1:00pm 94e Sarah Jessica Parker / R.E.M.
6:00pm 99o The Rock / AC/DC
midnite 91s Tom Hanks / Bruce Springsteen
2:00am 90n Alec Baldwin / Whitney Houston
3:00am 86d Sam Kinison / Lou Reed
We 25-Oct-00
noon 89m Tom Hanks / Aerosmith
1:00pm 95q Steve Forbes / Rage Against The Machine
6:00pm 98s Sarah Michelle Gellar / Backstreet Boys
2:00am 91l Susan Dey / C+C Music Factory
3:00am 86e Robin Williams / Paul Simon
Th 26-Oct-00
noon 92a Nicolas Cage / Bobby Brown
1:00pm 97j Samuel L. Jackson / Ben Folds Five
6:00pm 98n BIM / Lucinda Williams
8:00pm 94d DAC / Edie Brickell & Paul Simon
9:00pm 96d DAC / Dr. Dre
10:00pm 99j Freddie Prinze, Jr. / Macy Gray
midnite 96r Pamela Lee / Rollins Band
2:00am 90j Joe Mantegna / Vanilla Ice
3:00am 86g Steve Guttenberg / The Pretenders, Buster Poindexter
Fr 27-Oct-00
noon 92f Michael Keaton / Morrissey
1:00pm 93j Jason Patric / Blind Melon
6:00pm 98k James Van Der Beek / Everlast
8:00pm 99i Jamie Foxx / Blink-182
3:00am 86i Joe Montana & Walter Payton / Debbie Harry
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86b Malcolm-Jamal Warner / Run DMC, Buster Poindexter
...............................................................................
cold: Frank Bartles (PHH) & Ed Jaymes (AWB) warn about the dangers of crack
mono: DAC gives host the confidence he needs to do his dance
COMM: Team Xynex gives your employees the ability to goof off more efficiently
show: Donahue (PHH)- women in exploitive relationships explain their actions
show: The Crosby Show- Theo Huxtable (host) dreams he's in Bing's (PHH) family
show: Sweeney sisters Frannie "Candy" (JAH) & Mary Ann "Liz" (NOD) sing medley
misc: Mars Blackmon (Spike Lee) introduces musical guest while they beat up LOM
song: Run DMC performs "Walk This Way"
song: Buster Poindexter sings "Hit The Road Jack"
misc: Sam Kinison [real] does stand-up about family life & televangelists
COMM: sexy conversation doesn't mention General Dynamics {rerun}
song: Run DMC performs "Hit It, Run"
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86c Rosanna Arquette / Ric Ocasek
...............................................................................
cold: Tommy Flanagan poses as LOM, sells host on a "neck with producer" sketch
show: Church Chat- Church Lady scolds Jenny Baker (VIJ), host, musical guest
show: The People's Court- a white trash hairdresser (host) sues Mephistopheles
show: Make Joan Baez (NOD) Laugh- Howie Mandel's (JOL) glove-on-head does it
COMM: Helmsley Spook House {rerun}
skit: Sammies (KEN) & (DAC) watch TV, drink beer, doubt self-improvement odds
FILM: "Dog Baseball" by William Wegman- canines' owners watch their pets play
skit: (host) sings "I Saw God"- He supports her decision to become a star
song musical guest performs "Emotion in Motion"
song musical guest performs "Keep on Laughin'"
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86d Sam Kinison / Lou Reed
...............................................................................
cold mad that host is doing SNL, Church Lady confronts him & Seka [real]
mono after host plays guitar with SNL Band, cops on horseback monitor language
COMM Adobe- the little $179 Mexican import car is made out of clay
skit at parent-teacher meeting, (host) tells (JAH) & (KEN) their kid is stupid
skit Chick Hazard (PHH) keeps an eye on 40's club owner Eddie Spimozo (JOL)
COMM those plastic things keep bread fresher than those twisty deals
skit Ching Change (DAC) doesn't want to part with the chickens in his pet shop
news footage of VIJ's undercover Central Park mission to look for terrorism
show Love Connection- host relives his hellish date with a pair of lesbians
skit (JOL) uses reverse psychology to sketch portrait of a dancing king (DAC)
skit after Jor-El (host) sends Superman to Earth, Krypton doesn't blow up
misc host does stand-up about how he's misunderstood- he actually loves women
song musical guest performs "I Love You, Suzanne"
song musical guest performs "Original Wrapper"
*******************************************************************************
86e Robin Williams / Paul Simon
...............................................................................
cold: Reagan's (host) earpiece picks up stray signals during a press conference
mono: host does stand-up about the Reagan administration & televangelists
skit: musical guest has incredible memory but can't recall Art Garfunkel [real]
skit: Shakespeare (JOL) can't stand improvisational comedian's (host) Hamlet
misc: host translates while Whoopi Goldberg [real] introduces musical guest
skit: Sweeneys sing a Fiddler On The Roof medley at a Jewish retirement home
song musical guest performs "Diamonds on the Soles of Her Shoes"
song musical guest performs "The Boy in the Bubble"
song musical guest performs "The Late Great Johnny Ace"
*******************************************************************************
86g Steve Guttenberg / The Pretenders, Buster Poindexter
...............................................................................
cold: Infidelscam- Iranians hold hearings on their part in arms-for-hostages
mono: host plays "War" on his tuba with the SNL Band to show that he's cool
skit: host's girlfriend's parents' (PHH) & (JAH) movie knowledge is limited
skit: a homosexual (host) poses as a woman to seduce a blind guy (JOL)
comm: Sideshow of the Stars- Baboon Boy Casey Kasem (DAC) & other freaks
skit: The Back Page- 30's newspaper reporters cover the less important stories
MISC: Penn & Teller [real] perform The World's Most Expensive Card Trick
skit: a marketing expert (KEN) says Derek Stevens should die to help his career
song The Pretenders perform "Don't Get Me Wrong"
song The Pretenders perform "How Much Did You Get For Your Soul"
song Chrissie Hynde & Buster Poindexter perform "Rockin' Good Way"
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86i Joe Montana & Walter Payton / Debbie Harry
...............................................................................
cold: NFL Video Countdown- foreign-born special teamers sing "We Are Kickers"
mono: deja vu episodes reveal Joe hasn't fully recovered from his concussion
skit: sincere guy Stu (Joe) interferes with bone-jumping plans of (PHH) & (JAH)
skit: in a bar, Tommy Flanagan & Walter compare their football achievements
show: Church Chat- hosts' football lingo is naughty; Church Lady catches a pass
show: The NFL Today- a Neil Young (DAC) interview; Jimmy The Greek's (PHH) pick
comm: The Michael Jackson (Walter) Workout Tape- the pop star is pumped up
skit: Chick Hazard busts Eddie Spimozo- singer Nancy Maloney (VIJ) is underage
song musical guest performs "French Kissin' in the USA"
song musical guest performs "In Love With Love"
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89m Tom Hanks / Aerosmith
...............................................................................
cold: Donald (PHH) defeats Ivana (JAH) via thorough Trump prenuptial agreement
mono: host has an out-of-body experience after banging his knee backstage
show: Wayne's World- musical guest plays thanks to Garth's roadie cousin (host)
skit: Tales of Ribaldry- (VIJ) & (JAH) enlist services of a bootblack (host)
comm: Irish Drinking Songs- album features lots of inebriation & vomiting
skit: the desensitized losers try to work a cruise ship full of elderly women
comm the Red Square McDonald's offers Happy Meals containing basic necessities
song musical guest performs "Janie's Got a Gun"
song musical guest performs "Monkey on My Back"
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89r Alec Baldwin / The B-52's
...............................................................................
cold: Bush (DAC) talks about the environment, licks reefer-laden glaucoma drops
mono: host charms the audience by posing for the camera until VIJ stops him
skit: Greenhilly- Mr. Cherrywood (host) kisses (JAH), (VIJ), (NOD), (PHH), dog
skit: the Greta Garbo (JAH) James O'Brien (host) knew really wanted to be alone
song: musical guest performs "Cosmic Thing"
skit: (JOL) follows his dream & makes The Nude Talk Show a cable access success
COMM: Colon Blow {rerun}
skit: sexual tension is thick as waitress (JAH) takes (host)'s breakfast order
song: musical guest performs "Channel Z"
skit: Middle-Aged Man Ed Miles (MIM) helps out with (host)'s impotence problem
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90a Kyle McLachlan / Sinead O'Connor
...............................................................................
cold: Bush (DAC) uses animal metaphors to make sure the Iraqis understand him
mono: host gets in trouble after casually revealing who killed Laura Palmer
show: Sprockets- Dieter & (host) watch Germany's Most Disturbing Home Videos
show: Twin Peaks- Dale Cooper (host) ignores clues pointing to Leo (CHF)
song: musical guest performs "Three Babies"
NEWS: one-man mobile uplink unit ALF is lost in the Saudi Arabian desert
song: musical guest performs "The Last Day Of Our Acquaintance"
*******************************************************************************
90j Joe Mantegna / Vanilla Ice
...............................................................................
cold: Bush (DAC) plays Michael Corleone to Saddam Hussein's (PHH) Sollozzo
mono: host uses intimidation to avert a walkout by a kid expecting Joe Montana
skit: on a radio talk show, city employee (host) downplays NYC's crime problem
show: Nightline- a Desert Storm soldier's (host) family loves him & is proud
show: Bill Swerski (host) & the other Super Fans talk about the Chicago Bears
show: I'm Chillin'- Onski (CSR) & B Fats (CHF) broadcast from the projects
show: Insane Inventors- Thomas Edison (DAC) & The Wolfman (host) collaborate
skit: Officer Miller (PHH) shares his wisdom with a 14 year-old smoker (CHF)
COMM: Bad Idea Jeans- denim wearers don't realize the folly of their decisions
song musical guest performs "Ice Ice Baby"
song musical guest performs "Play That Funky Music"
*******************************************************************************
90n Alec Baldwin / Whitney Houston
...............................................................................
cold: The McLaughlin (DAC) Group- panelists don't get a chance to give answers
mono: audible thoughts of host, musical guest, others reveal moments of doubt
COMM: The Dancer- home exercise unit lets you boogie; Evander Holyfield cameo
show: The Sinead O'Connor (JAH) Awards- materialism in music industry is marked
skit: wide-nosed Cyrano de Bergerac (TIM) helps (host) get with Roxanne (JAH)
MISC: Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey- on figuring out who likes dolphins the most
comm: host is a product of Lank Thompson's (MIM) "I'm A Handsome Actor" course
song musical guest performs "I'm Your Baby Tonight"
song musical guest performs "All The Man I Need"
song musical guest performs "My Name Is Not Susan"
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91l Susan Dey / C+C Music Factory
...............................................................................
cold: L.A. Law- Richard Laymer creates nicknames for Grace Van Owen (host)
COMM: Leevi's 3 Legged Jeans {rerun}
skit: (PHH) fails to convince jury that Mike Tyson's size isn't important
show: The Arakawa Group- Japanese version of McLaughlin bashes lazy Americans
show: Laurie (host) & Partridges vs. Jan (MEH) & Bradys in battle of the bands
skit: The Sensitive Naked Man (ROS) tries to find out what's bothering (host)
skit: (MIM) & (DAC) discuss irony & repeatedly trade janitor & executive roles
misc: at closing, host announces that PHH is now the daddy of Birgen Hartman
song musical guest performs "Here We Go Let's Rock & Roll"
song musical guest performs "Gonna Make You Sweat"
song musical guest performs "A Deeper Love"
*******************************************************************************
91n Roseanne & Tom Arnold / Red Hot Chili Peppers
...............................................................................
cold: from the New Hampshire primary, Bush (DAC) learned that "You're pissed!"
show: Coffee Talk- Linda & friend Liz (Madonna) praise Barbra Streisand [real]
skit: Dick Clark's receptionist keeps host & Jesus (PHH) waiting
skit: A Star Is Born- Roseanne's career crashes after Tom rides her coattails
skit: Tall Tales of the Recession- the story of the Fast-Firing CEO (Tom)
song musical guest performs "Stone Cold Bush"
song musical guest performs "Under The Bridge"
*******************************************************************************
91s Tom Hanks / Bruce Springsteen
...............................................................................
cold: Ross Perot (DAC) offers to base his presidential salary on America's GNP
mono: last-minute replacement for Joe Pesci host asks PHH "How am I funny?"
show: Sabra Price Is Right- merchants of shoddy wares haggle with contestants
skit: weirdos speak at a meeting of The Guy Who Plays Mr. Belvedere Fan Club
MISC: Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey- on hoping that God likes enchiladas
skit: She Turned Into Her Mother!!- (JUS) takes on the traits of her mom
song musical guest performs "Lucky Town"
song musical guest performs "57 Channels"
song musical guest performs "Living Proof"
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92a Nicolas Cage / Bobby Brown
...............................................................................
cold: Woody Allen (DAC) runs into Mia Farrow (JAH) outside a movie theater
mono: LOM asks host to stop talking about his female co-stars' body parts
COMM: a poolside rendezvous captures the spirit of Canis cologne for dogs
show: Nightline- stupid undecided voters lob questions at patient Clinton (PHH)
MISC: Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey- on the top thing an Indian can do
skit: expectant father (host) rejects baby names that have taunting potential
show: The Queen Shenequa Show- musical guest; no blacks in Woody Allen movies
song musical guest performs "Humpin' Around"
song musical guest performs "Good Enough"
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92f Michael Keaton / Morrissey
...............................................................................
cold: Bush (DAC) personally calls campaign contributors to apologize for losing
mono: Audience McGee lectures host after fellow audience member (TOD) is tossed
COMM: HiberNol- long-term cold & flu medicine lets (CHF) sleep through sickness
skit: elevator operator (ROS) gives nervous trainee (host) tips on small talk
show: Gutenberg Awards- Billy Crystal (ROS) emcees publishing industry honors
skit: on a first date, (host) finds out that (JUS) is no longer a nymphomaniac
song musical guest performs "Glamorous Glue"
song musical guest performs "Suedehead"
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92j Danny DeVito / Bon Jovi
...............................................................................
cold: Bob & Bill Swerski write a letter to protest firing of Mike Ditka [real]
mono: dysfunctional vaudevillians host & ROS will do anything for a laugh
show: Simon- American tub-sharer Vinnie (host) has ties to the mob
comm: Tori Spelling (MEH) stars in another version of the Amy Fisher story
skit: hitman (host) doesn't hide his occupation from his wife (JUS) very well
skit: Charlton Heston (PHH) helps convert Madonna's _Sex_ to Books On Tape
song musical guest performs "Bed of Roses"
song musical guest performs "Wanted Dead or Alive"
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92l Luke Perry / Mick Jagger
...............................................................................
cold: Clinton (PHH) & Hillary (JAH) greet crazy people & pro wrestlers
mono: Obi-Wan Kenobi (PHH) counsels host on what to do on-stage
COMM: nice interior & trashy exterior make Chameleon XLE a practical luxury car
skit: dumb yard boy (host) doesn't catch older woman's (JUS) sexual overtures
news: Operaman sings about gays in the military & other current events
news: Mick Jagger (MIM) & Keith Richards (musical guest) debate censorship
skit: dwindling population of wish-granting magic fish is topic of town meeting
show: Sassy's Sassiest Boys- Russell Clark (PHH) with impudent heartthrobs
MISC: Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey- on the status of pudding-traversing ants
song musical guest performs "Sweet Thing"
song musical guest performs "Don't Tear Me Up"
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93j Jason Patric / Blind Melon
...............................................................................
cold: Andrew Giuliani (CHF) acts up while his dad is inaugurated as NYC's mayor
mono: host is less than thrilled to be on SNL, LOM asks him not to be a downer
comm: The Road To Self-Improvement is Don Lapre's (DAS) word truncation scheme
skit Mister Intense (host) goes to a party & does the hokey-pokey
song: musical guest performs "No Rain"
news KEN gives a subliminal commentary about excessive criticism of Clinton
show The NFL on Fox- John Madden (CHF) & Luke Perry (host) anchor at halftime
show: Coffee Talk- Richard Simmons [real] gives diet tips by singing Streisand
skit: Where's The Rest Of Me?- a hand model (host) copes after losing a finger
song: musical guest performs "Paper Scratcher"
comm: Herlihy Boy Dog Sitting Service- Mr. O'Malley & (host) beg "let him sit"
skit while riding a ski lift, (host) has a strange conversation with (KEN)
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94d DAC / Edie Brickell & Paul Simon
...............................................................................
COLD: from Houston, Bush [real] starts the show as a favor to his friend DAC
mono: Bush [real] to DAC- "your impression of me is too exaggerated"
COMM: Virtual Reality Books are a poor use of technology, but (MMK) loves them
skit: Johnny Carson (DAC) cross-examines witnesses in the O.J. Simpson trial
skit: Ross Perot's (DAC) Halloween visitors include ADS as Crazy Eggbeater Head
song: musical guests perform "Green"
NEWS: ALF presents some examples of outrageously negative political commercials
news: Hans & Franz warn other recurring characters to avoid Weekend Update
skit: master pepper miller (DAC) teaches apprentice (ADS) nuances of the craft
show Nobel Prizes are awarded in a star-studded, televised extravaganza
misc before commercial, G.E. Smith [real] & his doppelganger (ADS) play guitar
skit (TIM) shamelessly makes up excuses to avoid getting in trouble at work
TOON: by Mike Judge- an exterminator detonates a roach bomb in Milton's office
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94e Sarah Jessica Parker / R.E.M.
...............................................................................
cold: incumbent Democrat (CSE) gives concession speech amidst GOP landslide win
mono ex-Annie host sings "Tomorrow" for loser Democrats, MIM & DAS say "stop"
COMM: Eterna Rest coffin mattress is well-suited for your loved one's remains
show: Good Morning Brooklyn- (host) & James Barone (JAM) offer local flavor
misc: host alternately sings duets with nice (MMK) & naughty (ADS) guitarists
song: musical guest performs "What's The Frequency, Kenneth?"
news: Gil Graham relates more of his hard-luck concert-going experiences
skit: Confucius (CHF) visits the abusive owner of a fortune cookie shop (MIM)
song musical guest performs "Bang & Blame"
show: The Casting Couch- Robert Evans (MMK) gives starlet (host) showbiz lesson
skit the Munchkins want nothing to do with accidental hero Dorothy (JAG)
song: musical guest performs "I Don't Sleep, I Dream"
misc BIM eulogizes the recently-deceased MOD
SKIT LAN sings Madam Butterfly aria while MOD makes a Soiled Kimono {rerun}
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95q Steve Forbes / Rage Against The Machine
...............................................................................
cold: Unabomber Ted Kaczynski (WIF) attends his Harvard class reunion
mono: host plugs the flat tax & answers audience questions about his wealth
COMM: Grayson Moorhead Securities, part one {rerun}
skit: soldiers can't follow drill sergeant Suel Forrester's roll call orders
show: Nightline- it's obvious that host authored a tell-all book about GOP race
skit: during a visit from (host), Rita Delvecchio guards her screen door
show MAM as Steve Forbes chastises host for ending his run for the presidency
COMM Grayson Moorhead Securities, part two {rerun}
news FRW talks about receiving personalized mailed requests for donations
song: musical guest performs "Bulls On Parade"
skit: while on the job, roofers (COQ), (DAK), (host) dream about the good life
show: Seattle Today- Unabomber sketch artist Stan Hooper isn't very skilled
MISC: Jack Handey's Fuzzy Memories- of using his car to splash a schoolkid
skit host gets a free haircut from barber school student Gerald Tibbins
skit during WWII, Johnny Jones (CHK) catches up with waitress Dottie (MOS)
skit: a motorist (host) is lectured by a large & irate bug (JMB) that he hit
misc: at closing, host's wife Sabina & daughters [real] join him on-stage
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96a Tom Hanks / Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers
...............................................................................
cold with no votes cast, ABC News declares Clinton's (DAH) re-election
mono: host reads the Oscar acceptance speech he didn't get to use
COMM: Big Brawn Feminine Napkins get their super-absorbency from wood pulp
skit: the antics of (host) & fellow Roxbury Guys land them in the slammer
show: Hey, Remember The 80's- Goat Boy's brays punctuate his nostalgia show
skit: Craig & Arianna are cheered by a visit from the Spartan Spirit (host)
TOON: "It Takes Two To Tango" by RBS- Ace & Gary are The Ambiguously Gay Duo
news MTV personality Kincaid's (ANG) commentary comprises retro TV references
news: Kerri Strug [real] & brother Kippy (CHK) remember the Atlanta Olympics
song: musical guest performs "Walls"
show: The Tonight Show- missing link Mr. Peepers (CHK) wreaks havoc on panel
skit creativity test giver (TIM) tries to pull an original idea out of (host)
song: musical guest performs "Angel Dream"
comm: Classic Sing-along with the Drunken Asses- album has tunes for happy hour
MISC Brief Histories- cannibalism wasn't the only Donner Party hardship
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96d DAC / Dr. Dre
...............................................................................
cold: Larry King (WIF) Live- Ross Perot (DAC) & other third-party candidates
mono: DAC & his recurring characters sing "I Like To Be These People For You"
show: Hey, Remember The 80's- George Michael (DAC) & Joseph Hazelwood (MAM)
show The Barbara Walters (CHO) Special- Elizabeth Dole (ANG) lauds her husband
skit: Tom Brokaw (DAC) pre-tapes news reports to cover Ford death contingencies
news: Joe Blow talks about decadent behavior he witnessed in Yankee Stadium
song: musical guest performs "Been There Done That"
show: Church Chat- Church Lady judges O.J. Simpson (TIM) & Madonna (MOS)
show Bob Dole's (NOM) Time Tunnel- young Clinton (DAC) gets visit from future
skit Rita Delvecchio receives trick-or-treaters & battles Halloween pranksters
skit: retirees Phil Donahue (DAH) & Johnny Carson (DAC) look for latter's keys
comm: attorneys Russell (TIM) & Tate (TRM) have the means to get you your money
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96r Pamela Lee / Rollins Band
...............................................................................
cold Janet Reno (WIF) hijacks Clinton (DAH) press conference to defend herself
mono in an attempt to calm her nerves, host takes off some of her clothing
COMM Darnette Disposable Toilets {rerun}
skit at a beach volleyball tourney, Craig & Arianna cheer & rescue C.J. (host)
show Biography- Tiger Woods (TIM) & controlling father Earl (TRM) are profiled
skit Roxbury Guys pursue (host) from the dance club to the health club
skit on host's movie set, jealous hubby Tommy (NOM) can't fathom make-believe
misc Tommy Lee [real] doesn't understand that previous skit was make-believe
TOON by RBS- The Ambiguously Gay Duo teaches safety tips to kids
song musical guest performs "Starve"
show Hey, Remember the 80's- Jenny McCarthy (host) & David Lee Roth (CHK)
show Oprah's (TIM) Book Club- sycophantic guests say what she wants to hear
COMM Larry King's (NOM) News & Views range from the trite to the bizarre
comm host's cleavage causes accidents at her Invitational NASCAR Rally
COMM Larry King (NOM) offers more News & Views
show The Twilight Zone- in the eyes of her pig-faced beholders, (host) is hot
skit on a first date, (CHK) pretends to like knockout (host)'s sense of humor
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96s John Goodman / Jewel
...............................................................................
cold Oprah (TIM)- Anne Heche (CHK) loves attention, not Ellen DeGeneres (MAM)
mono rapid weight loss program has SNL veteran host confused about show format
COMM Caribbean Essence Bath Oil {rerun}
show Jeopardy!- Marlon Brando (host), Phil Donahue (DAH), Burt Reynolds (NOM)
show Talkin' with Suel- Ron Wood (MIM) & Bjork (MOS) babble about drugs, maybe
COMM Good Samaritan Eddie Murphy (TIM) selflessly helps the transgendered
skit Margaret Jo & Terry discuss summer cookouts with chili expert (host)
news Dominican Lou hopes to enlist Deep Blue against his dominoes rival Felix
news learning that Ellen DeGeneres is actually gay causes WIF to vomit
song musical guest performs "Who Will Save Your Soul"
skit last-minute replacements Marty & Bobbi do a medley at a high school prom
skit druggist (host) fills the pills of overmedicated Collette Reardon (CHO)
song musical guest performs "You Were Meant For Me"
skit at a little league game, the drunk businessmen honor Bill Brasky
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97j Samuel L. Jackson / Ben Folds Five
...............................................................................
cold: Clinton (DAH) plans to blow the budget surplus by making a kick-ass movie
mono: host shares his blaxploitation-themed New Year's resolutions
COMM: Lemon Glow {rerun}
skit: Publishers Clearing House visits the ghetto to award prize to (host)
SHOW: Quentin Tarantino (NOM) presents unsuccessful Pulp Fiction screen tests
comm Jazzterpieces documents the rocky career of musical couple (host) & (ANG)
show: Judge Judy (CHO)- personal trainer (host) sues former customer (ANG)
TOON: "The Sexiest Car Alive" by RBS- Speed Racer George Clooney dodges press
news: Harry Caray (WIF) explores the implications of cloning hot dogs
song: musical guest performs "Brick"
skit: fifth-class passengers (host) & (TRM) wait to be evacuated from Titanic
skit Mango enthralls an otherwise-heterosexual hard-core criminal (host)
comm The Learning Annex can help you become a joyful, germ-free fake preacher
show Poolside Lovin'- dad's death leaves (CHK) not in the mood to "get it on"
COMM: "I'm #1" hat & "I'm Hot Stuff" necklace {rerun}
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98a Cameron Diaz / The Smashing Pumpkins
...............................................................................
cold Oprah (TIM) 2002- Linda Tripp (John Goodman) et al recall Lewinsky affair
mono without provocation, host gets tough with audience member (Hugh Fink)
COMM MasterCard made possible the priceless aspect of the Lewinsky affair
show The View- Mark McGwire (WIF); Debbie Matenopoulos (host) battles raccoon
COMM Oops! I Crapped My Pants can withstand full blasts from seniors' bowels
show The Ladies' Man- Leon & (host) act out scenes from the Starr Report
COMM The Best Of The First 20 Minutes Of SNL redefines straight-to-videotape
show The New Hollywood Squares- the game goes on despite collapse of the board
TOON "Fun With Real Audio" by RBS- Nixon haunts outtakes from Clinton address
news COQ thinks it's time to stop obsessing over the Lewinsky affair
news Dominican Lou wants $1,000,000 for a baseball vaguely tied to Sammy Sosa
song musical guest performs "Perfect"
skit at the Moomba Club, foxy (host) picks up Roxbury Guys, Festrunks
skit words fail odor of witches' brew; Jonathan Richman & Tommy Larkins cameos
COMM The Gap- "This is so easy" says sax-playing Clinton (DAH)
show Jingleheimer Junction- new castmember (WIF) spells disaster for kids show
COMM The Gap- "This is not easy" says electric guitarist Hillary Clinton (ANG)
comm Spice Girls (MOS), (CHO), (CHK), (host) give advice for pregnant mothers
TOON "Maakies" by Tony Millionaire- proletarian Crow deadens himself
COMM The Gap- "This is easy" says Kenneth Starr (CHP) as he jigs amid evidence
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98j Bill Paxton / Beck
...............................................................................
cold Newt Gingrich (CHP) & Bob Livingston (WIF) ask "What the hell happened?"
mono castmembers douse host Carrie-style after he drops Sissy Spacek's name
show The View- fired Debbie Matenopoulos [real] makes an eloquent exit
skit in an airport terminal, Marty & Bobbi serenade fellow stranded travellers
skit Titanic director's cut has shake down of Rose (CHO); James Cameron cameo
show Behind The Music- fall of Fat Albert (TRM) & The Junkyard Gang chronicled
news COQ comments on the degeneration of discourse in the Clinton scandal
news Elizabeth Dole (ANG) resigned so she & Bob can party like it's 1999
song musical guest performs "Nobody's Fault But My Own"
show News Force- MSNBC program is cluttered by on-screen information overload
COMM KCF Shredders {rerun}
comm overnight-delivery couriers vie for (ANG)'s business via sexy dance moves
skit Fantastic Voyage- tiny scientists like hanging out in president's penis
song musical guest performs "Tropicalia"
show Extreme Hunting- Ted Nugent (host) welcomes Prince (CHK), shoots him
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98k James Van Der Beek / Everlast
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cold Clinton (DAH) is honored to welcome Larry Flynt (HOS) to the Oval Office
mono disembodied voice of Don Pardo (DAH) expresses obsession with host
COMM Teeny Weenies!- fertility drug kit abets reckless attitude to motherhood
show spelling bee emcee (WIF) tries to improvise after losing the words
COMM weary Cats castmember (CHP) narrates video marking 11,000th performance
misc LOM steps in when Don Pardo's (DAH) voiceover lapses into host worship
show Teen Pulse- sassy musical group 7 Degrees Celsius causes girls to swoon
show Dog Show- David Larry & Miss Colleen preside over a canine slumber party
news COQ fingers senators trying to make names for themselves via impeachment
news foppish sports journalist Brian Fellow (TRM) uses tabloid-style reportage
song musical guest performs "What It's Like"
skit laser pointers of (host) & (TRM) ruin a Harry Connick, Jr. (JIF) concert
show The War Abroad & At Home- community college fumbles a WWII documentary
skit NBC exec (TIM) has created Frankenteen (host) to fill a programming niche
skit Lou's lovely daughter Maria tries to corral a TV repairman (host)
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98n BIM / Lucinda Williams
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cold The Ladies' Man- Stephanie Seymour [real] helps Leon teach love lessons
mono inspired by the Footloose musical, BIM sings & dances around the stage
skit competitive couple (BIM) & (MOS) challenges dinner guests to Yahtzee
skit (BIM) leads fellow male Knicks City Dancers in front of unfriendly crowd
COMM Swill {rerun}
comm The Quotable Caddyshack- BIM & CHC explain the reference work's utility
show Morning Latte- minor celebrity (BIM) engages Tom & Cass in vapid banter
news wistful for coverage, Clinton (DAH) asks media to dig around for dirt
news freshly snubbed by Academy nominators, BIM gives his Oscar picks
song musical guest performs "Can't Let Go"
skit because (HOS)'s parents were eaten by a bear, (CHP)'s party is ruined
skit (BIM) spouts gibberish while trying to pose as owner of mystic curio shop
song musical guest performs "Too Cool To Be Forgotten"
comm Hollywood gynecologist (BIM) has casual attitude toward patients' privacy
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98s Sarah Michelle Gellar / Backstreet Boys
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cold recent car wreck victims Marty & Bobbi perform at high school graduation
mono host rebuffs CHK, TIM, MOS, WIF, JIF after they each hit on her
show teen idols David Boreanaz, Seth Green, Howie D. [real] fear agent (DAH)
skit Zimmermans' sexcapades trap couple looking to rent a cabin (CHP) & (host)
skit (WIF)'s exhortations to little leaguer son appall other parents in stands
TOON "The Ginsburg Gang" by RBS- Lewinsky lawyer show inspired by Scooby Doo
show Shame Attack!- (CHK) & (MOS) embarrass selves & each other in game show
song musical guest performs "I Want It That Way"
news now out of prison, Amy Fisher (CHO) is still edgy & jealous
news Billy Dee Williams (TIM) doesn't like that he's not in The Phantom Menace
skit blind girl (host), monster (HOS), Paul Williams (WIF) in really bad movie
show Britney Spears (host) & others answer questions after Kids Choice Awards
COMM host & WIF solicit subscriptions to Holding Your Own Boobs Magazine
song musical guest performs "All I Have To Give"
show Brian Fellow's Safari Planet- supposed animal expert doesn't know much
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99i Jamie Foxx / Blink-182
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cold Clinton (DAH) pays little attention to Hillary (ANG) as she moves out
mono Oliver Stone (WIF) repeatedly interrupts host with extraneous directions
COMM Hamburger Helper Antibacterial- blue goo restores old meat to edibility
skit Jennifer Lopez (CHO) & armed Puff Daddy (host) seek relationship advice
skit (WIF) engages cellmate (host) in pillow talk- "Am I still your bitch?"
misc plastic surgery won't affect how John Goodman [real] portrays Linda Tripp
skit during a software upgrade, (host) challenges Nick Burns' tech preeminence
misc TRM tells host he's happy to have another black guy at SNL to hang with
news his sight restored, Stevie Wonder (host) is shocked by his own appearance
news cartoonist Jasper Hahn's (HOS) drawings are naughty when half-finished
news John Rocker's (WIF) supposed message of peace turns into a racist tirade
song musical guest performs "All The Small Things"
show It's Showtime At The Apollo!- lame acts compete for audience acclaim
skit (HOS) takes heat for pigeonholing stereotypically-black co-worker (TRM)
song musical guest performs "What's My Age Again?"
skit Martin Luther King, Jr.'s (host) initial dream was mundane & recurring
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99j Freddie Prinze, Jr. / Macy Gray
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cold at a press conference, Elian Gonzalez (CHK) badmouths the USA
mono flu-ravaged cast may necessitate cancellation of host's SNL episode
COMM Colonel Belmont's Old Fashioned Horse Glue has no artificial ingredients
show Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?- contestant (WIF) quits after winning $100
show Boy Band Blowout 2000- (host) is the new lead singer of 7 Degrees Celsius
COMM Monica Lewinsky (MOS) likes the phallic dishes possible with Jenny Craig
skit ugly models (RAD) & (CHO) have high self-esteem; Angie Everhart cameo
COMM television critics offer gushing quotes in praise of The Sopranos
skit irresponsible doctor (WIF) tells a couple (CHP) & (MOS) about their baby
show Charlie Rose (DAH)- Ricky Martin (CHK) & Enrique Iglesias (host)
news a la Catherine Zeta-Jones, CHO announces she's engaged to a 4 year-old
song musical guest performs "I Try"
skit (host) beholds domestic strife of Frank (DAH) & Kathie Lee (CHO) Gifford
song musical guest performs "Why Didn't You Call Me"
comm (TRM) & (host) sell dried-up Christmas trees as important MLK Day icons
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99o The Rock / AC/DC
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cold Vince McMahon [real] warns wrestlers not to mess with host during show
mono Mick Foley, Triple H, Paul 'Big Show' Wight [real] wish host luck
COMM Uncle Jemima's Pure Mash Liquor {rerun}
show The Ladies' Man- Leon is in love with crossdressed undercover cop (host)
skit paleontologist (WIF) reunites Mr. Peepers with his father (host)
show Morning Latte- Tom & Cass can't separate host from his in-ring persona
news Jasper Hahn's presidential candidate caricatures start out dirty
news JIF plays guitar & sings Spring Break-themed songs based on pop hits
song musical guest performs "Stiff Upper Lip"
skit Daily Planet employees toy with Superman's (host) not-so-secret identity
COMM The Goombahs- (host) & (ANG) star in Showtime's rip-off of The Sopranos
comm Nicotrel (host) uses physical violence to help (CHP) stop smoking
misc Mick Foley, Triple H, Paul 'Big Show' Wight [real], host beat up on CHP
show Today's Lady- (RAD), (CHO), (MOS) throw themselves at stud (host)
song musical guest performs "You Shook Me All Night Long"
COMM Colonel Belmont's Old Fashioned Horse Glue {rerun}
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Frank Serpas III ser...@io.com
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it's SATURDAY NET- http://www.io.com/~serpas/snl.html