Ubiquitous
unread,Aug 29, 2016, 7:11:33 AM8/29/16You do not have permission to delete messages in this group
Sign in to report message
Either email addresses are anonymous for this group or you need the view member email addresses permission to view the original message
to
Rob Lowe is at the center of Comedy Central’s Roast this year, and
at the taping on Saturday night, he got slammed: over his 1988 sex
tape with a 16-year-old, his trend of being on so many cancelled TV
shows and even his unbearable handsomeness.
But perhaps no one was burned worse than one of the actual roasters:
Ann Coulter. In fact, the political commentator even addressed the
amount of jokes leveled at her during her performance.
“I want to welcome everybody to the Ann Coulter roast with Rob
Lowe,” she said.
Not even the audience felt bad for Coulter’s slaughtering. During
her performance, she was booed when promoting her new book, “In
Trump We Trust,” and roaster and “SNL” star Pete Davidson got more
laughs than she did when making a sarcastic face at a joke of hers
that fell flat.
Here’s just a few of the many jokes flung at Coulter:
Nikki Glaser: “The only person you will ever make happy is the
Mexican who digs your grave.”
Peyton Manning: “I’m not the only athlete up here. As you know,
earlier this year, Ann Coulter won the Kentucky Derby.”
Davidson: “If you are here, Ann, who is scaring the crows away from
our crops?”
Lowe: “After seeing your set tonight, we’ve seen the first bombing
you can’t blame on a Muslim.”
Jeff Ross: “Ann is against gay marriage. What is your thinking on
that? If I can’t get a husband, they can’t either?”
Jewel: “I do want to say as a feminist that I can’t support
everything that’s been said tonight. But as someone who hates Ann
Coulter, I’m delighted.”
Rob Riggle: “If Ann Coulter is here, someone must have said her name
three times. Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice!”
And perhaps the harshest, from Jimmy Carr: “Ann is one of the most
repugnant, hateful, hatchet-face bitches alive. It’s not too late to
change, Ann. You could kill yourself.”
But Coulter, for her part, was transparent about her intentions.
“I’m only here for all the love and respect I have for Rob Lowe and
all of the talented performers tonight. It has nothing to do with
the book I published four days ago,” she joked.
When the fact that Coulter would be joining the roast was revealed,
it obviously elicited many questions. She has no clear connection to
Lowe — even non-comedians Jewel and Manning had loose ties to the
actor — and she’s not a comedian. But Lowe attempted to explain the
choice at a Q&A with press backstage.
“I think the best daises are the daises that have people where
you’re like, ‘What the f–k’? You need every flavor to make these
things go right and cut them all together for a show,” he said.
Lowe got hit hardest perhaps on his sex tape. “I had such a crush on
Rob as a little girl. If only I knew that’s when I would have had my
best shot,” joked Glaser. Jewel took the stage with her guitar and
had an entire bit in which she pretended she was the unidentified
16-year-old in the tape. “I’m the best thing Rob Lowe was ever in,”
she sang.
Lowe’s acting quality was slammed, too. “Rob Lowe, the only thing
you are consistently on is Twitter, which is surprising because you
have never been able to master one character, let alone 140,” said
Manning.
But Lowe, whose family was in attendance, took it in stride. After
the show, he told reporters, “I’m just glad there’s something left
of me.”
“If you’re in the NFL, hit hard. This is the NFL, you’re here to
hit,” he concluded. “There are other places to do soft jokes.”
The “Comedy Central Roast of Rob Lowe” airs on Labor Day on Comedy
Central.
--
As of 1/21/17 any major city without a street named after Barack
0bama shall be condemned as racist, so now there will be two streets
in every city you know to avoid.