SNL reruns this fortnight (Dec 20 - Jan 2)
Frank Serpas III
Below, find this fortnight's schedule of reruns of Saturday Night Live,
along with episode summaries taken from the SNL Episode Guide, which
is available at SATURDAY NET (http://www.io.com/~serpas/snl.html).
To subscribe or unsubscribe, visit:
http://mailman.io.com/mailman/listinfo/snlreruns/
~~~
The NBC episode for this Saturday night (20-Dec-03) is a clip show:
Best of WIF, volume 2
In some markets, it will be followed by a "classic" episode:
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89i Andie MacDowell / Tracy Chapman
...............................................................................
cold: (KEN)'s drunk driving message is interrupted by the Energizer Bunny
skit: The Night Hanukkah Harry (JOL) Saved Christmas- he helps sick Santa (PHH)
skit: exotic baby-carrying devices make (host) insecure about her parenting
show: Church Chat- Nadia Comaneci (JAH), Leona Helmsley (NOD), host
song musical guest performs "Gimme One Reason"
news: horny Mrs. Claus (VIJ) sings "Santa Please Skip Christmas This Year"
news his decade over, ALF declares the 1990s will belong to his son Joe [real]
misc tribute to Hal Jerome documents his very autobiographical Broadway songs
FILM "Dieter In Space" by TOS- accidental astronauts say "Happy New Year!"
song musical guest performs "All That You Have"
skit visitors to bride-to-be's (host) bedroom remind her- "this is your day"
misc Tonto, Tarzan, Frankenstein sing "The Little Drummer Boy"
The NBC episode for the following Saturday night (27-Dec-03) is a rerun:
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03a Jack Black / John Mayer
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cold Arnold Schwarzenegger (DAH) gives non-specifics of his five-point program
mono host says "not this Jack" to ego trip prospect; WIF & Kyle Gass cameos
COMM Huggies Thong diapers may not stop leaks, but they sure are fashionable
show Queer Eye For The Straight Gal- (TIF) gets lifestyle advice from lesbians
show The Wade Robson (SEM) Project- awful dancers (MAR), (AMP), (host) flail
skit long-haired chef (host) teaches Vasquez, Gabe, Ruth, Pete (CHP) to cook
TOON "Yankee Super-Heroes" by RBS- deep pockets empower baseball mercenaries
song musical guest performs "Bigger Than My Body"
news doped-up Rush Limbaugh (JER) is unapologetic about racial insensitivity
news FIM recalls birthday party at Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon screening
news Bill Cosby (KET) scuffles with Wanda Sykes (MAR) at Emmy Awards
skit while on-stage, guitarist (host) broaches childhood issues with dad (HOS)
song musical guest performs "Clarity"
skit vintner's son (SEM) endures spit-take facials from wine expert (host)
skit via song, telemarketers romanticize sales method killed by no-call list
In some markets, it will be followed by a "classic" episode:
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85f Teri Garr / Dream Academy, The Cult
...............................................................................
cold: Cabrini Green takes a Christmas gift to a rapper wrapper (DAW)
mono: host & Father Guido Sarducci do "I Got You Babe" as Popes Lois & Maurice
COMM: Critic {rerun}
skit: island residents (RAQ) & (host) discuss the latter's price in eggs
show: Hildy (TES)- the Deavers' maid rewards herself for saving Christmas
song: Dream Academy performs "Life In A Northern Town"
news poorly-obscured mob informant (DON) doesn't have interesting information
show NBC broadcasts the six unaired minutes of A Roy Orbison (RAQ) Christmas
misc: Penn & Teller [real] take turns being The Incredible Electric Boy
skit: The Big Tree- a disaster movie about a huge, unsafe Christmas decoration
song: The Cult performs "She Sells Sanctuary"
skit (AMH)'s time-travel excursions affect his parents' Trivial Pursuit game
~~~
For over a dozen years, Comedy Central (and its parent, the HA! Network)
served as the primary channel for SNL reruns. As of 2004, however, Comedy
Central will no longer air SNL; E! Entertainment Television is assuming
control of the entire SNL catalog. As a last hurrah, Comedy Central is
airing ten-hour blocks of episodes starting each day at 11am on December
24, 25, 26, 27, and 28. The chosen episodes (determined by votes cast at
comedycentral.com) are supposed to reach back as far as 1980.
The following 60-minute versions of SNL episodes will air on
Comedy Central (CC) & E! Entertainment Television (E!); all times EST...
Sa 20-Dec-03
8:00am CC 96i Rosie O'Donnell / Whitney Houston
1:00pm CC 96n Alec Baldwin / Tina Turner
2:00pm CC 96a Tom Hanks / Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers
3:00pm CC 98q John Goodman / Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers
4:00pm CC 98n BIM / Lucinda Williams
5:00pm CC 00t Christopher Walken / Weezer
10:00pm E! 02p Bernie Mac / Good Charlotte
Su 21-Dec-03
8:00am CC 90h Tom Hanks / Edie Brickell & New Bohemians
Mo 22-Dec-03
1:00pm CC 00h Lucy Liu / Jay-Z
4:00pm E! 02f Brittany Murphy / Nelly
5:00pm CC 00g Val Kilmer / U2
Tu 23-Dec-03
1:00pm CC 99h Danny DeVito / R.E.M.
5:00pm CC 98i Alec Baldwin / Luciano Pavarotti & Vanessa Williams
1:00am E! 02m Christopher Walken / Foo Fighters
We 24-Dec-03
11:00am CC ??? TEN-HOUR MARATHON
4:00pm E! 02a Matt Damon / Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band
Th 25-Dec-03
11:00am CC ??? TEN-HOUR MARATHON
10:00pm E! 02h Al Gore / Phish
1:00am E! 01q The Rock / Andrew W.K.
Fr 26-Dec-03
11:00am CC ??? TEN-HOUR MARATHON
2:00am CC 99l Julianna Margulies / DMX
3:00am CC 99m Ben Affleck / Fiona Apple
Sa 27-Dec-03
11:00am CC ??? TEN-HOUR MARATHON
10:00pm E! 02t DAA / Beyonce
Su 28-Dec-03
11:00am CC ??? TEN-HOUR MARATHON
Mo 29-Dec-03
1:00pm CC 00j Mena Suvari / Lenny Kravitz
4:00pm E! 02k Matthew McConaughey / Dixie Chicks
5:00pm CC 98h Vince Vaughn / Lauryn Hill
Tu 30-Dec-03
1:00pm CC 00t Christopher Walken / Weezer
5:00pm CC 98b Kelsey Grammer / Sheryl Crow
5:00pm E! 02o Salma Hayek / Christina Aguilera
7:00pm CC 97a Sylvester Stallone / Jamiroquai
1:00am E! 02p Bernie Mac / Good Charlotte
We 31-Dec-03
[none]
Th 01-Jan-04
[none]
Fr 02-Jan-04
[none]
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90h Tom Hanks / Edie Brickell & New Bohemians
...............................................................................
cold: Mr. Subliminal gives an editorial reply about America's Iraq policy
mono: Ralph Nader, 5'ers Paul Simon, Steve Martin, Elliott Gould [real], host
skit family doesn't take each other's word when it comes to unpleasant stimuli
show: Game Beaters- Mr. Short-Term Memory is a contestant; Tony Randall cameo
song musical guest performs "Woyaho"
news: DEM & Dennis Millers (DAC) & (host) sing "Jingle Bells"
show: The Global Warming Christmas Special- excess carbon dioxide effects felt
show P. Whipped- panelists' female-domininated relationships complicate show
show Sabra Shopping Network- (host) & callers argue over overpriced duds
song musical guest performs "He Said"
skit (host) seeks psychiatrist's (PHH) help regarding double-take reactions
misc AWB's tree-hunting tale has parallels to stalking & murdering a human
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96a Tom Hanks / Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers
...............................................................................
cold with no votes cast, ABC News declares Clinton's (DAH) re-election
mono: host reads the Oscar acceptance speech he didn't get to use
COMM: Big Brawn Feminine Napkins get their super-absorbency from wood pulp
skit: the antics of (host) & fellow Roxbury Guys land them in the slammer
show: Hey, Remember The 80's- Goat Boy's brays punctuate his nostalgia show
skit: Craig & Arianna are cheered by a visit from the Spartan Spirit (host)
TOON: "It Takes Two To Tango" by RBS- Ace & Gary are The Ambiguously Gay Duo
news MTV personality Kincaid's (ANG) commentary comprises retro TV references
news: Kerri Strug [real] & brother Kippy (CHK) remember the Atlanta Olympics
song: musical guest performs "Walls"
show: The Tonight Show- missing link Mr. Peepers (CHK) wreaks havoc on panel
skit creativity test giver (TIM) tries to pull an original idea out of (host)
song: musical guest performs "Angel Dream"
comm: Classic Sing-along with the Drunken Asses- album has tunes for happy hour
MISC Brief Histories- cannibalism wasn't the only Donner Party hardship
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96i Rosie O'Donnell / Whitney Houston
...............................................................................
cold Clinton (DAH) offers multiple cabinet posts to out-of-work Bob Dole (NOM)
mono host, musical guest, Penny Marshall [real] sing "I Got You Babe"
COMM: Darnette Disposable Toilets ensure a germ-free bathroom experience
skit: too-heavy real Spartan (host) joins Hickory Farms temps Craig & Arianna
skit: Mary Katherine Gallagher steals choir soloist's (musical guest) spotlight
skit: Margaret Jo & Terry discuss gingerbread & talk about citrus with (host)
TOON: "Don We Now... Or Never" by RBS- The Ambiguously Gay Duo saves Santa
misc: Goat Boy extends Christmas greetings by singing "Silent Night"
news Beavis & Butt-Head [real] report on the true meaning of Christmas
song: musical guest sings "I Believe In You & Me"
skit: Rita Delvecchio faces off against Nativity scene rival (Penny Marshall)
comm: Russell & Tate kick butt for you at the Supreme Court with no money down
show: The Local News- Joe Blow welcomes recent widow (host) to his basement
song musical guest sings "I Go To The Rock"
misc: host & castmembers say "good night" from Rockefeller Center skating rink
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96n Alec Baldwin / Tina Turner
...............................................................................
cold: Late Show with David Letterman (NOM)- Robert DeNiro (host) isn't amused
mono: host goes backstage to demonstrate how SNL is a wholesome, family show
skit: (host) is more successful with women than are his fellow Roxbury Guys
skit: musical guest's advice brings Mary Katherine Gallagher out of her shell
skit: while on-air, Chris Garnett has turf war with station newscaster (host)
TOON: "Fun With Real Audio" by RBS- Tom Snyder stalks Dolly Parton
show The Gossip Show- Julie Brown (CHO) publicizes co-workers' dirty laundry
news: Howard Stern [real] gives his opinion of SNL & shows Private Parts clip
song: musical guest performs "In Your Wildest Dreams"
comm: Long Island phone sex operators are aroused by callers, not vice versa
skit at yard sale, couple (host) & (MOS) unloads sentimental items for pennies
skit Don & Reggie discover that their new boss (host) was also a porn star
song musical guest performs "Proud Mary"
skit the drunk businessmen eulogize Bill Brasky at his funeral
COMM: Rain- the miniseries features an as yet undramatized natural disaster
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97a Sylvester Stallone / Jamiroquai
...............................................................................
cold: Oprah (TIM)- Marv Albert (NOM) discusses his unusual sexual practices
mono: trainer Mickey (JMB) advises host- "less Cop Land, more Rocky"
COMM: the Xerox Assjet 790 photocopier is optimized for office hijinks
skit: Rita Delvecchio is excited when husband (host) brings home a new Cadillac
skit: car wreck victims (NOM) & (ANG) slam host's career when he comes to help
skit: Roxbury Guys take Rocky (host) on the town & teach him how to dance
skit Janet Reno (WIF) mulls Clinton fund-raising charges; Richard Jewell cameo
TOON "Fun With Real Audio" by RBS- flatulence dominates Casablanca outtakes
news: Cinder Calhoun sings "Sausage of Pain" to protest existence of hot dogs
news though Richard Jewell [real] has been cleared, NOM is still suspicious
misc: Joe Pesci (JMB) is upset with host for stealing his co-stars
song: musical guest performs "Alright"
skit: Orange Julius holdover (host) waits on customer (WIF) in computer store
MISC: The Lost Deep Thoughts of Jack Handey- on mummy-sucking mosquitoes
skit: at Planet Hollywood opening, fans (JMB) & (TRM) eventually tick off host
show Lou's (host) Lovely Daughters- homely (ANG), (MOS), Maria (CHO) need men
comm Elton John's (WIF) album features More Songs I Wrote To Honor Dead People
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98b Kelsey Grammer / Sheryl Crow
...............................................................................
cold: in bed, Clinton (DAH) gets an icy reception from bitter Hillary (ANG)
mono host sings rejected alternative Frasier theme songs
COMM KCF Shredders- (JIF) pitches bagged lettuce & mayonnaise to Generation X
skit: Margaret Jo & Terry talk wilderness food with naturalist-cannibal (host)
COMM: avoid sex scandals by electing eunuch Terry Ferguson (WIF) to the Senate
skit: (TRM) treats grown-up son (Shaquille O'Neal) as if he were still little
COMM: Terry Ferguson has neither Washington-insider status nor genitals
skit: a dame (MOS) turns film noir private eye's (host) thoughts to burritos
skit: (host) wets Baywatch, Hal Linden, Christine Baranksi, Patti LuPone [real]
COMM: volume 1 of The Best of Horatio Sanz doesn't quite fill the videotape
news: COQ likens the problem of debtor nations to that of tapped-out friends
news: French playboy Tropical Storm Georges (host) luxuriates in his power
song: musical guest performs "My Favorite Mistake"
skit: (host)'s socialization try proves Mr. Peepers is animal, not human being
TOON: "Maakies" by Tony Millionaire- chopped-in-half rat becomes a mermaid
show Morning Latte- Tom & Cass bug new producer (CHK); Shaquille O'Neal cameo
show Hello Dolly- personal problems pervade saccharine pitch of (host) & (ANG)
show lumberjacks blame timbersports champion (WIF) for hogging Jesus' backing
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98h Vince Vaughn / Lauryn Hill
...............................................................................
cold oral sex experts testify for Clinton-investigating Senate committee
mono: to host's relief, Alfred Hitchcock (DAH) isn't upset about Psycho remake
COMM: Oops! I Crapped My Pants {rerun}
show: Dog Show- David Larry (WIF) & Miss Colleen (MOS) prefer canine company
skit Trent Walker (host) makes a Swinger of Mr. Peepers with a Vegas road trip
skit: spoken-for (host) & (WIF) mislead engaged (JIF) about joys of marriage
COMM: Brew Dude party hat helps college students focus on beer, not books
skit: ghosts of John Lennon (JIF) & Jerry Garcia (HOS) frustrate wisdom seekers
skit gas station employees mull the future in aftermath of Mobil-Exxon merger
news: COQ marvels at Republicans' persistence in pursuing impeachment
news: tree-chained Cinder Calhoun sings "Christmas Chainsaw Massacre"
song: musical guest performs "Doo Wop"
skit cloying cheer of Norman Bates' (host) mother (CHO) precipitated murder
show: Pimp Chat- Bishop Don 'Mack' Donald (TRM) & Pimpin' Kyle (TIM) talk shop
song musical guest performs "Ex-Factor"
skit: Delco Cat Toys salesmen trade macho banter & test quality of new products
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98i Alec Baldwin / Luciano Pavarotti & Vanessa Williams
...............................................................................
cold: Clinton (DAH) lapses into seduction while stressing his degree of remorse
mono John Goodman [real] & JIF fuel host's SNL fire a la A Christmas Carol
COMM: NBC's NBA lockout coverage puts an exciting spin on negotiations' tedium
show: Morning Latte- chitchat of Tom & Cass gets into (host)'s personal life
skit: mannish 6 year-old girl (host) engenders lust in hospital clown (MOS)
TOON by RBS- at the first Christmas, Harlem Globetrotters & Jesus play hoops
comm: long distance code mnemonic comprises USA human-rights violations
song musical guests perform "Adeste Fideles"
news: COQ details the maneuvering surrounding the Clinton impeachment vote
news TIM's Kwanzaa carol takes the form of a make out song
skit: Margaret Jo & Terry salivate over Pete Schweddy's (host) holiday balls
skit at impeachment hearings, Clinton's (DAH) defenders assail his character
comm: Chanukah Hymns- album features very-unfestive Jewish holiday songs
skit: the drunk businessmen honor Bill Brasky's Wall Street prowess
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98n BIM / Lucinda Williams
...............................................................................
cold: The Ladies' Man- Stephanie Seymour [real] helps Leon teach love lessons
mono: inspired by the Footloose musical, BIM sings & dances around the stage
skit: competitive couple (BIM) & (MOS) challenges dinner guests to Yahtzee
skit (BIM) leads fellow male Knicks City Dancers in front of unfriendly crowd
COMM: Swill {rerun}
comm: The Quotable Caddyshack- BIM & CHC explain the reference work's utility
show: Morning Latte- minor celebrity (BIM) engages Tom & Cass in vapid banter
news: wistful for coverage, Clinton (DAH) asks media to dig around for dirt
news freshly snubbed by Academy nominators, BIM gives his Oscar picks
song: musical guest performs "Can't Let Go"
skit: because (HOS)'s parents were eaten by a bear, (CHP)'s party is ruined
skit (BIM) spouts gibberish while trying to pose as owner of mystic curio shop
song musical guest performs "Too Cool To Be Forgotten"
comm: Hollywood gynecologist (BIM) has casual attitude toward patients' privacy
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98q John Goodman / Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers
...............................................................................
cold: ruing his truthful turn, Clinton (DAH) tries reverse psychology on Kosovo
mono: host can't convince audience members that the show isn't a rerun
skit: (host) brings high school antics to adult literacy class led by (TIM)
comm: self-styled wine heir's (WIF) vile liquid further ires stepfather (host)
COMM: CNN Newsstand- lightweight magazines provide basis for serious reportage
skit (host) strongarms complaints about his incompetent gift wrapper son (CHK)
show Hello Dolly- hucksters prefer collectibles to real-life youngsters
news: TRM explains the meaning of acronyms appearing on current fashions
news: Colette Reardon surveys prescription drugs available to treat allergies
song: musical guest performs "Swingin'"
skit: a boozy & unpleasant Santa (host) unwinds at home during the offseason
show: kid show stars' ugly fate told by news bulletins aired during the program
COMM Behind The Music- bowling alley attendant Bun E. Carlos (HOS) thinks back
song musical guest performs "Room At The Top"
skit embarrassed john (host) endures bordello computer system learning curve
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99h Danny DeVito / R.E.M.
...............................................................................
cold: Arnold Schwarzenegger (DAH) says the world will be unaffected by Y2k
mono: host is sprayed with apple after receiving Mr. Peepers as a gift
COMM kids can practice media relations with the Press Conference Play Set
skit after Y2k meltdown, chef (host) is permanent guest of Margaret Jo & Terry
skit: Christmas Fairy (Michael Stipe) shows why Mango's dad (host) rebukes him
skit: in shop class, Sully & Denise videotape an interview with teacher (host)
misc: Leon Phelps sings "Merry Christmas To The Ladies"
TOON: "Fun With Real Audio" by RBS- intrusive journalists dominated 1999
news: ALF & bitter teen Joe Franken [real] introduce the Al Franken Millennium
song: musical guest performs "The Great Beyond"
skit 50 year-old Sally O'Malley (MOS) tries out for the Rockettes
skit in court, Mrs. Parker & (host) show motherly love for their hoodlum sons
song musical guest performs "Man On The Moon"
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99l Julianna Margulies / DMX
...............................................................................
cold: as Clinton (DAH) lingers, wooden Hillary (ANG) speaks to New York voters
mono: host's post-ER project deals with veterinary medicine; Noah Wyle cameo
COMM: Litter Critters {rerun}
skit: (host) learns that her boyfriend's (CHP) family feeds him mouth-to-mouth
show E! News Daily- Donatella Versace (MOS) expounds her theories of fashion
skit Nadeen recommends that emergency room visitors should "simmer down"
show The Crocodile Hunter- Steve (CHK) & Terri (host) Irwin love angry animals
news: mousey Joy Lipton (CHO) shows Valentine's Day gifts from the Erotic Attic
song: musical guest performs "Party Up"
skit: actor (WIF) is humiliated by commercial's erectile dysfunction theme
show Savin' It- girlfriends (host) & (ANG) sexually frustrate (WIF) & (JIF)
song musical guest performs "What's My Name"
skit: nerdy Kip (JIF) & Wayne (CHP) Bloater woo (host) but fail to consummate
comm: priceline.com satisfies William Shatner's (DAH) need to haggle
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99m Ben Affleck / Fiona Apple
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cold: Nightline- Peanuts characters mourn the passing of Charles Schulz
mono: Gwyneth Paltrow [real] comes on-stage & steals spotlight from host
COMM Victoria's Secret- Marisa's boobs ask "what is desire"
misc going to commercial, G.E. Smith [real] plays guitar
skit: host pretends to be Matt Damon in order to get close to Mango
skit Johnny Bartolotti's (host) attentions toward Denise make Sully jealous
TOON: "The All New Adventures of Mr. T" by RBS- Ibsen play is a chance to work
show Fretts Film Forum- small-town movie reviewers offer clever quotables
SHOW FANatic- obsessive (host) wants Anna Nicole Smith (MOS) to be his mom
news: George W. Bush (WIF), John McCain (CHP), Alan Keyes (TIM) speechify
song: musical guest performs "Limp"
skit: salesman (host) is embroiled in Zimmermans' sexy search for a used car
skit: Sally O'Malley barges in on a police academy exercise training session
COMM Trilocaine treats your dandruff & induces horrific hallucinations
show Who Wants To Be Groped By An Eleven Thousand-Aire?- (host) paws (CHK)
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00g Val Kilmer / U2
...............................................................................
cold: Al Gore (DAH) seeks election redress via personal injury lawyer (CHK)
mono: host gets the It's A Wonderful Life treatment from angel Clarence (DAH)
COMM attorney Wade Blasingame (WIF) sues dogs that do what comes naturally
show: Behind The Music- in Heaven, Jim Morrison (host) forms a supergroup
show: Palm Beach- psephologic drama swamps George W. Bush (WIF) & Al Gore (DAH)
show Veronica (MOS) & Co.- supermodel leads unfocussed panel discussion
song: musical guest performs "Beautiful Day"
news: I Have An Opinion- JIF is proud to say "I like election turmoil"
news: lyrical rhetoric carries Jesse Jackson (DAH) & Al Sharpton (JEM) away
skit easily-excited commercial jet pilot Iceman (host) is living in the past
misc going to commercial, Maceo Parker [real] plays saxophone
misc: HOS, CHK, TRM, JIF perform a happy Christmas ditty
song musical guest performs "Elevation"
skit: Margaret Healey finds a kindred spirit in accent-loving blind date (host)
skit horn-playing brothers (CHP) & (WIF) do Burt Bacharach (host) session-work
COMM Corn Chip Nail Tips {rerun}
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00h Lucy Liu / Jay-Z
...............................................................................
cold: at Chi-Chi's, George W. Bush (WIF) & Al Gore (DAH) attempt reconciliation
MONO: host embraced female Asian stereotypes during her week at SNL
comm: the tech stock plunge hurt priceline.com spokesman William Shatner (DAH)
show: Total Request Live- Gemini's Twin added (host) because she has a minivan
show: Jeopardy!- Robin Williams (JIF) & Catherine Zeta-Jones (host) fail
show: Pretty Living- joyologist Helen's new fling is a female lumberjack (host)
show: Jarret's (JIF) Room- dorm-based webcast is a window into youth culture
news modern trappings sidetrack James Madison's (RAD) electoral college spiel
news JIF & TIF change Baby New Year's (CHK) diaper
news JIF plays guitar & sings pop-inspired songs about Christmas presents
song: musical guest performs "I Just Wanna Love U"
skit angel (MOS) & other Christmas ornaments worry about making it to the tree
comm Murder In The Make-Believe Ballroom- more rap from Robert Goulet (WIF)
MISC interloper interrupts message of season's greetings by JIF & TIF
song musical guest performs "Is That Yo Bitch"
misc: HOS, CHK, TRM, JIF once again perform a happy Christmas ditty
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00j Mena Suvari / Lenny Kravitz
...............................................................................
cold: on inauguration night, self-satisfied Clinton (DAH) says "suck on it"
mono: host has American Beauty-style rose petal fantasies about castmembers
COMM douse celebrants with the Gatorade Love Bucket during off-field events
skit attitudinal airport security guard Jackie (MAR) heeds bum metal detector
misc going to commercial, Fred Wesley [real] plays trombone
show: Janet Reno's (WIF) Dance Party- Janet Reno [real] crashes final episode
show: Rap Street- Aaron Carter (host) is commended for his G-rated rhymes
TOON: "X-Presidents" by RBS- wannabe member Clinton saves the inauguration
comm Wake Up Little Suzie- movie features (TRM)'s love for comatose (host)
news TIF delivers subversive Spanish message to rich Republicans' housekeepers
news JIF & TIF engage in boy-band gossip about the 7 Texas prison escapees
news federal appointee Jacob Silj is sensitive to being discriminated against
news Al Sharpton (JEM) & Jesse Jackson (DAH) croon about latter's love child
song: musical guest performs "Again"
show: Veronica & Co.- panelists include boyfriend (WIF) & young model (host)
skit: Kyle & Sean DeMarco win over musical guest with their take on his songs
song musical guest performs "Mr. Cab Driver"
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00t Christopher Walken / Weezer
...............................................................................
cold: despite marital woes & a broken penis, Rudolph Giuliani (DAH) is doing OK
mono: oblivious to pronunciation, host sings "Let's Call The Whole Thing Off"
skit wowed janitor (host) imagines himself & Mango in famous screen roles
show Hardball- Chris Matthews (DAH) likes Bob Barr's (CHP) crazy energy scheme
show: a lost brooch provides The Continental with another chance to woo
news: in a terrible re-enactment, Joey Fatone (CHK) injures his foot
news: KEN does a subliminal editorial to remind viewers he's no longer on SNL
news: JIF, TIF, Winona Ryder [real] stage a Weekend Update cliffhanger
song: musical guest performs "Hash Pipe"
skit: (ANG) learns that Dr. Walter (host) was once a lover of Roger & Virginia
TOON "The Anatominals Show" by RBS- beasts' genitals spur LOM Faustian crisis
skit: (host)'s personal questions dominate centaur's (CHP) job interview
skit: (WIF)'s irritability stems from the badger that crawled up his butt
song musical guest & WIF perform "Island In The Sun"
misc for Memorial Day, HOS, CHK, TRM, JIF perform a happy Christmas ditty
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01q The Rock / Andrew W.K.
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cold: George W. Bush (WIF) tries to trump suicide bombers' martyrdom rewards
mono: host takes two punches in the face from CHK
show: Brian Fellow's Safari Planet- parrot spurs fears of identity theft
skit: Scorpion King (host) doesn't want to take whiny son (SEM) into battle
comm: Arthur Andersen now offers shady accounting to individual taxpayers
show: Hardball- Dick Armey (WIF), Pat Caddell (JIF), Paul Begala (CHK)
misc backstage, Drunk Girl & her equally-sloshed friend Pamm (host) accost SEM
skit on the subway, (MAR) musically disses loudmouth know-it-all Fred (TRM)
skit Nicole, The Girl With No Gaydar misreads patrons at a gay piano bar
news having bears rampage through his home inspires Gene Shalit (HOS) to pun
song: musical guest performs "Party Hard"
comm: duets album by Bigfoot (host) & stoned Neil Diamond (WIF) may not be real
show: America Undercover- trashy white couple wreaks havoc in an emergency room
song musical guest performs "I Get Wet"
misc new ditty by HOS, CHK, TRM, JIF encourages everybody to cool out
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02a Matt Damon / Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band
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cold: Dick Cheney (DAH) rides a Tomahawk missle flying toward Baghdad
mono: feuding Justin Timberlake (host) & Britney Spears (AMP) stage a dance-off
COMM: the NRA says "happy hunting season" as the AFLAC duck is shot
show Brian Fellow's Safari Planet- porcupine & pot-bellied pig cause anxiety
COMM: the NRA says "take the safety off" as AT&T shill Carrot Top (SEM) is shot
skit: Denise misses her chance to go "Dancing In the Dark" with musical guest
COMM Nutri-Quick Meal On-The-Go suppositories anally nourish busy workers
comm Hannibal Lecter (host) Goes To Michigan State- cannibal in pre-prequel
song: musical guest performs "Lonesome Day"
news: Red Sox fans SEM & host give Yankee fans tips on how to cope with losing
news: Venezuelan comedian Fericito (FRA) says JIF should employ a catch phrase
skit: Dr. Matt Damon (CHP) complains to namesake host about being overshadowed
comm: Versace (MAR) Pockets- the extravagant way to enjoy a microwaveable meal
TOON: "The Smurfette Show" by RBS- blue sprite behaves like Anna Nicole Smith
song musical guest performs "You're Missing"
skit (host)'s government-funded sex robot project has come to naught
comm Dr. Phil McGraw (JER) offers wacky counsel to guests on his show
COMM The War On Iraq- new reality series is coming soon to NBC
*******************************************************************************
02f Brittany Murphy / Nelly
...............................................................................
cold: ADS & The Drei-Dels [real] perform "The Chanukah Song, Part 3"; ROS cameo
mono: east coast & west coast castmembers settle comedic feud with a rap-off
COMM: Welcome Back, Potter (WLF)- grown-up wizard teaches Sweathogs at Hogwarts
skit: The Leather Man sells pants to (host) as Choo-Choo (HOS) chases a snake
show: Donahue (DAH)- nonexistent viewership points to the death of liberalism
show Jarret's Room- fellow student (host) is wired on stimulants
show Princess Di's former butler Paul Burrell (SEM) denies he's a homosexual
show Tennis Talk- time-traveling Scott Joplin (MAR) offers racquets & ragtime
song: musical guest & Kelly Rowland [real] perform "Dilemma"
news: Drunk Girl fails to address link between memory & alcohol consumption
news: David Gest (CHK) & Liza Minnelli (MAR) explain reality show cancellation
show: Astronaut Jones, (GAM), (musical guest) meet Queen Of The Zorgons (host)
TOON "Religetables" by RBS- anthropomorphic plants show religion's nasty side
MISC My Big Thick Novel by Jack Handey- a square dancing mishap in chapter 589
song musical guest performs "Hot In Herre"
skit Nicole, The Girl With No Gaydar meets lesbian counterpart (host) at party
*******************************************************************************
02h Al Gore / Phish
...............................................................................
cold: host locks lips with wife Tipper [real] in an extended passionate kiss
mono: host selected running mate Joe Lieberman (CHP) a la The Bachelor
show: Hardball- Trent Lott (host) delineates his thoughts on segregation
show: Fiesta Politica- talk show's format isn't a good match for host's style
MISC: host makes himself at home on Oval Office set of The West Wing
show: Jarret's Room- professor (host) thinks musical guest sets a bad example
song: musical guest performs "46 Days"
news Moonlight Bunny Ranch brothel workers (RAD) & (AMP) talk about their job
show Daily Affirmation- Stuart helps host overcome pain of election result
skit Willy Wonka's (JER) accountant brother (host) explains fiscal realities
TOON: by RBS- Peanuts Gang transforms the spirit of A Charlie Brown Christmas
song musical guest performs "Chalk Dust Torture"
skit on Christmas Eve, sozzled (TRM) & (MAR) musically consider drink options
misc: toys HOS, CHK, TRM, JIF perform a happy Christmas ditty
*******************************************************************************
02k Matthew McConaughey / Dixie Chicks
...............................................................................
cold: United Nations delegates ignore Colin Powell (DAH) & plan to abuse power
mono: host finds an excuse to return to his marijuana-hazed dressing room
skit: on a blind date, (host) errs by wildly misguessing (RAD)'s age & weight
COMM Nutri-Quick Meal On-The-Go {rerun}
show: Jarret's Room- 33 year-old sophomore David Wooderson (host) likes college
skit: at an anti-war rally, speaker (host) can't keep the crowd on-message
song: musical guest performs "Travelin' Soldier"
news: photos show the past, present, future of Michael Jackson's face
news Joseph Jackson (TRM) criticizes his son Michael's parenting skills
news: Patrick (WLF) & Gunther (FRA) Kelly explain tax code changes with a song
show Club Traxx- Euroteens love America's music but hate its foreign policy
skit (CHK) pays the price whenever co-worker (host) uses him to tell a story
show Second Time Around- Glenda Goodwin welcomes pyramid power advocate (host)
song musical guest performs "Sin Wagon"
comm: McConaughey's Red Hot Texas Chili- host's product is first in farts
*******************************************************************************
02m Christopher Walken / Foo Fighters
...............................................................................
cold: Hardball- French foreign minister (host) enjoys nettling USA over Iraq
mono: host sings "Exactly Like You" & brings on some dancing girls
show: Pranksters- to (host), murder by tire iron is a hilarious practical joke
show: The Continental pursues a spokesmodel for his line of beauty products
skit after losing his ship, incompetent captain (host) leads liferaft to ruin
MISC: the first African-American to yell at a movie screen (TRM) is honored
skit: after the Civil War, arrival of Colonel Angus (host) has oral sex subtext
news: TIF shows Department Of Homeland Security's alarming warning signs
news: Christina Aguilera (MAR) vocalizes her emotions regarding the Grammys
news: Steve Martin cameo
news: having quit showbiz, WIF now lives on a farm with Britney Spears [real]
song: musical guest performs "All My Life"
skit (MAR) wants no part of Dr. Walter's lusty exploits with Roger & Virginia
song musical guest performs "Times Like These"; Jim Carrey cameo
skit act of Buddy Mills & fellow lounge comic (host) has an air of pathos
*******************************************************************************
02o Salma Hayek / Christina Aguilera
...............................................................................
cold: George W. Bush (CHP) fields softball questions barely related to Iraq
mono: 80's band comprising male castmembers & Edward Norton [real] bugs host
show: Top O' The Morning- Latina (host) & beau William toast St. Patrick's Day
TOON "Are You Hot?" by RBS- Lorenzo Lamas critiques cartoon characters' looks
show: Versace (MAR) Oscar Fashion Preview- musical guest picks up a dress
skit while stuck in a cardboard box, (host) confronts his cheating wife (host)
COMM: host badmouths Chicago while supporting Frida's bid for Academy Awards
song: musical guest performs "Beautiful"
news: Jimmy & Tina Yelling At America- JIF & TIF think USA needs self-criticism
news Fericito's wife & comedy partner Lupe (host) says JIF & TIF should marry
news punk wannabe Avril Lavigne (AMP) is mad for no particular reason
news: Gollum (CHK) is of two minds when it comes to making Oscar picks
news: JIF plays guitar & sings pop-inspired songs about St. Patrick's Day
skit (host) teaches seduction to Vasquez, Gabe (FRA), Ruth (RAD), A.J. (TRM)
COMM: host suggests that, unlike Frida, Chicago has links to terrorism
skit: director's cut of original King Kong movie has the ape getting a hand job
song musical guest performs "Fighter"
COMM: host interrupts Chicago rebuttal to plug Frida once more
*******************************************************************************
02p Bernie Mac / Good Charlotte
...............................................................................
cold: George W. Bush (CHP) gives an update on the progress of war in Iraq
mono: host does stand-up about coping with the USA being on high alert
skit: on opening day at Fenway Park, Sully & Denise summon beer vendor (host)
show: Brain Busters- contestants' ignorance of Black History irks (host)
COMM: (host) & (MAR) salvage a bland party with Tabasco's Hot Sauce Carry Purse
skit The Pianist inspires moviegoers (host) & (TRM) to talk to the screen
song: musical guest performs "The Anthem"
news: embedded reporter Gene Shalit (HOS) offers puns related to war in Iraq
news: half-sunburned Drunk Girl talks about her Spring Break experiences
news: country song of U-S-AMEN (WLF) & (CHP) urges boycott of anti-war celebs
show fourth Stooge (host) beats up on Moe (CHP), Larry (CHK), Curly (JER)
skit: hoarse bar patrons (host) & (AMP) complain about NYC's new no-smoking law
show Second Time Around- Glenda Goodwin is vexed by ex-husband Barry (host)
COMM Swiffer Sweepers {rerun}
skit Saddam Hussein's (HOS) advisers sugarcoat news about war with USA
song musical guest performs "Lifestyles Of The Rich & Famous"
comm: black stand-ups prefer Don Banks' (host) King of "Comedy" Suits
*******************************************************************************
02t DAA / Beyonce
...............................................................................
cold: Hardball- Al Sharpton (TRM) has little chance to become president in 2004
mono: DAA & JIB perform "Time Won't Let Me"
show Top O' The Morning- William's dad (DAA) & many siblings fill the bar
skit: Buddy Mills introduces son (Kip King) & reconciles with old friend (DAA)
skit: Donald joins a biker gang while The Falconer sinks in quicksand
TOON: by RBS- Ben Affleck buys Jennifer Lopez a Robert Duvall look-alike dog
show Versace (MAR) Backyard Barbeque- Anna Nicole Smith (John Goodman) visits
song: musical guest & Jay-Z [real] perform "Crazy In Love"
news: Drunk Girl thinks she's in a tanning bed & flashes JIF
news: in a terrible re-enactment, CHK recapitulates his career at SNL
show: Astronaut Jones & (DAA) encounter yet another busty space vixen (MAR)
skit canines sample the cuisine at an upscale restaurant run by & for dogs
song musical guest performs "Dangerously In Love"
comm Sam Elliott (DAA) stays dry with Dr. Deacon's Haunch Crack Powder
*******************************************************************************
Frank Serpas III ser...@io.com
...............................................................................
it's SATURDAY NET- http://www.io.com/~serpas/snl.html
Be Insane
>
> For over a dozen years, Comedy Central (and its parent, the HA! Network)
> served as the primary channel for SNL reruns. As of 2004, however, Comedy
> Central will no longer air SNL; E! Entertainment Television is assuming
> control of the entire SNL catalog.
>
> We 31-Dec-03
> [none]
>
> Th 01-Jan-04
> [none]
>
> Fr 02-Jan-04
> [none]
>
And so, for the first time in over a decade, America went a full 72
hours without a single broadcast of SNL anywhere.
And there was much rejoicing.
--
"I'm not out to destroy Microsoft. That will just be a completely
unintentional side effect." - Linus Torvalds
Rick
Rick
Alex Cain
"Be Insane" <no_e...@brown.edu> wrote in message
news:3FE387A2...@brown.edu...
> Frank Serpas III wrote:
> >
> > For over a dozen years, Comedy Central (and its parent, the HA! Network)
> > served as the primary channel for SNL reruns. As of 2004, however,
Comedy
> > Central will no longer air SNL; E! Entertainment Television is assuming
> > control of the entire SNL catalog.
> [snip]
> >
> > We 31-Dec-03
> > [none]
> >
> > Th 01-Jan-04
> > [none]
> >
> > Fr 02-Jan-04
> > [none]
> >
>
> And so, for the first time in over a decade, America went a full 72
> hours without a single broadcast of SNL anywhere.
>
> And there was much rejoicing.
>
I *knew* that new federal ban would help to stop those bastards!