SNL reruns this week (Nov 4-10)
Frank Serpas III
along with episode summaries taken from the SNL Episode Guide, which
is available at SATURDAY NET (http://www.io.com/~serpas/snl.html).
To receive this information weekly via e-mail, send the message
subscribe SNLRERUNS firstname lastname
to list...@lists.cc.utexas.edu (leave the "subject" line blank).
~~~
This Saturday night's episode is new...
00d Charlize Theron / Paul Simon
In some markets, it will be followed by a "classic" episode.
In addition, this Sunday on NBC at 9pm there will be a 2-hour clip show...
SNL's Presidential Bash 2000
featuring taped cameos by Al Gore and George W. Bush.
~~~
The Comedy Network (available in Canada) is showing...
90-minute versions of episodes from the '92-'93 season on weekends &
60-minute versions of episodes from the '84-'85 season on weekdays.
~~~
Comedy Central will air 60-minute versions of the following (all times EST)...
Sa 04-Nov-00
noon 91o John Goodman / Garth Brooks
6:00pm 99b Heather Graham / Marc Anthony
Su 05-Nov-00
2:00am 92k Harvey Keitel / Madonna
3:00am 86s Garry Shandling / Los Lobos
Mo 06-Nov-00
noon 96k David Alan Grier / Snoop Doggy Dogg
1:00pm 94l Bob Newhart / Des'ree
6:00pm 98e DAS / Eagle-Eye Cherry
9:00pm xxx Best of ADS
midnite 93q Kelsey Grammer / Dwight Yoakam
2:00am 92r Kirstie Alley / Lenny Kravitz
3:00am 87a Steve Martin / Sting
Tu 07-Nov-00
8:00am 93p Helen Hunt / Snoop Doggy Dogg
9:00am 91o John Goodman / Garth Brooks
noon 93a Charles Barkley / Nirvana
1:00pm 99k Alan Cumming / Jennifer Lopez
2:00pm 96m CHC / Live
4:00pm 98a Cameron Diaz / The Smashing Pumpkins
5:00pm 96e CSR / The Wallflowers
6:00pm 98l Gwyneth Paltrow / Barenaked Ladies
2:00am 93a Charles Barkley / Nirvana
We 08-Nov-00
noon 90o Michael J. Fox / Black Crowes
1:00pm 94f John Turturro / Tom Petty
6:00pm 98b Kelsey Grammer / Sheryl Crow
2:00am 91b Jeff Daniels / Color Me Badd
3:00am 87d Robert Mitchum / Simply Red
Th 09-Nov-00
noon 89a Bruce Willis / Neil Young
1:00pm 93d John Malkovich / Billy Joel
6:00pm 99a Jerry Seinfeld / David Bowie
10:00pm xxx Best of DAC
midnite 94m Deion Sanders / Bon Jovi
2:00am 94a Steve Martin / Eric Clapton
3:00am 87b Sean Penn / L.L. Cool J, Michael Penn & The Pull
Fr 10-Nov-00
noon 90p Jeremy Irons / Fishbone
1:00pm 96r Pamela Lee / Rollins Band
6:00pm 99q Tobey Maguire / Sisqo
8:00pm 99j Freddie Prinze, Jr. / Macy Gray
3:00am 87f Danny DeVito / Bryan Ferry
*******************************************************************************
86s Garry Shandling / Los Lobos
...............................................................................
cold: senators try not to upset Robert McFarlane (PHH) at Iran-Contra hearings
mono: host does stand-up about girlfriends past & present
skit: host screws up a department store sketch by breaking character & 4th wall
comm: Sold-Out Gold, Bronze- albums contain classic hits made into commercials
skit: Babette's exclusive, pricey Teeny Cafe seats only five people
skit: (host) tells his support group terrible, false stories about his mother
FILM: Peggy has a cavity filled by Dr. Daniel Rudolph, Cat Dentist (TOD)
song musical guest performs "Is That All There Is"
song musical guest performs "One Time, One Night"
*******************************************************************************
87a Steve Martin / Sting
...............................................................................
cold: Reagan (PHH) clubs Robert Bork (JOL) a la Al Capone in The Untouchables
mono: host's big dance number "I Bite Down Hard" is shot from the waist-up
COMM Gary Hart's effect on women- "You can't get him out of your mind"
show: Common Knowledge- correct answers are those given by high school seniors
show: The NFL Today- during players' strike, George Plympton (DAC) has success
COMM: Sip-N-Save Beer's You Make The Call- very many men on the field penalty
skit slide whistle sound effects reflect thoughts of daters (VIJ) & (host)
song: musical guest performs "We'll Be Together"
NEWS ALF exposes Bruce Babbitt's [real] abuse of supermarket express lanes
news VIJ sings "I Am Not A Bimbo" & dances on the newsdesk
skit: Bullets Aren't Cheap- thrifty James Bond (host) battles musical guest
skit: officers of a ship regret giving underlings permission to speak freely
skit Adventures In The Lost Realm- a dinosaur takes its time eating (JOL)
song: musical guest performs "Little Wing"
show: Pumping Up With Hans (DAC) & Franz (KEN)- the musclemen insult viewers
*******************************************************************************
87b Sean Penn / L.L. Cool J, Michael Penn & The Pull
...............................................................................
cold: Fatal Attraction II- former prison lover Alex (L.L. Cool J) stalks host
COMM: Pitman & Bullock investment firm has the tenacity of a ferocious dog
show: Church Chat- host punches Church Lady after she takes his picture
skit: Babette sings "Memories" for Robert DeNiro (host) in the Teeny Cafe
show: Wall Street Week- Future Man (KEN) had no trouble with Black Monday
song: L.L. Cool J performs "Go Cut Creator Go"
COMM: you can't get Gary Hart out of your mind {rerun}
show: Discover- Peter Graves (PHH) is clueless when it comes to snakes
song: Michael Penn & The Pull performs "This & That"
*******************************************************************************
87d Robert Mitchum / Simply Red
...............................................................................
cold: The Rolling Paper Chase- what Douglas Ginsburg (JOL) was like in the 70's
COMM: Compulsion {rerun}
skit: Death Be Not Deadly- private eye Philip Marlowe (host) narrates film noir
skit: The Mountain Man (DAC)- his odd outdoor wisdom alienates (JOL) & (VIJ)
song: musical guest performs "The Right Thing"
news VIJ shows a clip of her daughter Scarlet keeping in shape
news AWB explores the link between marijuana & the nation's ills
skit: Liz averts Sweeney breakup by getting Candy's mind off (host) with medley
FILM "Out of Gas" by Trina Mitchum- host & Jane Greer [real] relive film noir
skit: Andre (PHH) & Rex (host), Macho Hairstylists are visited by the gay mafia
song: musical guest performs "Suffer"
COMM: Corazon Aquino (JAH) escapes from her worries by taking a BeautyBath
skit a beggar (host) tells his rich son (DAC) about how he obtained a jewel
*******************************************************************************
87f Danny DeVito / Bryan Ferry
...............................................................................
cold: Reagan (PHH) gives Gorbachev (host) a tour of movie-related D.C. sites
mono: Bruce Springsteen went to high school with host- his yearbook proves it
COMM Handi-Off {rerun}
show: At The Movies- Siskel (KEN) & Ebert (PHH) review all-male adult movies
show: Church Chat- host sings "Here Comes Santa Claus," Church Lady is on drums
song: musical guest performs "The Right Stuff"
news KEN cycles through cliches instead of talking about airplane accidents
skit: Nancy Maloney returns to Eddie Spimozo's Jungle Room to sing again
skit (PHH) appraises worthless items for a white trash couple (host) & (JAH)
show: Ann Landers' (NOD) Playhouse- how to ward off a fresh date (host)
song: musical guest performs "Kiss & Tell"
skit just before (PHH) moves out of doorman's (host) building, they reminisce
misc: at closing, host says "hi" to wife Rhea Perlman [real] in audience
*******************************************************************************
89a Bruce Willis / Neil Young
...............................................................................
cold: Bush (DAC) holds a bag of crack, dares Medellin cartel to attack family
mono: host plays the harmonica with the SNL Band & sings "Pep Talk"
show: Wayne's World- coolest senior (host) makes "sphincter" the new hip word
show: anal-retentive Gene shows how to saw a board & dispose of the refuse
song: musical guest performs "Rockin' In The Free World"
show: Sprockets- Jimmy Stewart's (DAC) cute poems have nihilistic undercurrents
song: musical guest performs "Needle & The Damage Done" & "No More"
*******************************************************************************
90o Michael J. Fox / Black Crowes
...............................................................................
cold: during a Bush (DAC) speech, Dan Quayle (host) doesn't know when to clap
mono: host meets two versions of himself (DAC) & (DAS) Back From The Future
show: America's Most Wanted- former child actors plan their latest crime
news: AWB says easy post-Vietnam wars were good preparation for domestic strife
show: Daily Affirmation- Stuart Smalley is upset with his new time slot
skit: Sting's elevator fans give host a similar song treatment
song musical guest performs "Thick & Thin"
song musical guest performs "She Talks to Angels"
*******************************************************************************
90p Jeremy Irons / Fishbone
...............................................................................
cold: Pumping Up With Hans & Franz- they intend to liberate Kuwait atop a camel
mono: hobbies designed to keep host's mind off his Oscar nomination don't work
COMM: lunchroom talk shows how McIntosh Jr. gives the power to crush other kids
skit: Richard Laymer gets emotional at a goodbye party for co-worker (host)
show: Wayne's World- the boys offer up their Oscar picks
skit: Sherlock Holmes (host) spoils the fun at his own surprise party
news: DEM steps in before Razor Ruddock [real] can talk about end of Tyson bout
news: CSR gives tips on how to enjoy your trip to see New Jack City
FILM: "Football Days" by Jennifer Meyer- Jack Handey's gridiron career recalled
song musical guest performs "Sunless Saturday"
song musical guest performs "Everyday Sunshine"
*******************************************************************************
91b Jeff Daniels / Color Me Badd
...............................................................................
cold: Tonight Show- Johnny Carson (DAC) decides to cancel his retirement
mono: DAC quickly teaches host the eight standard SNL monologue moves
COMM: seed-containing Earthies diapers are environmentally responsible
skit: Richard Laymer faces name-manipulation competition from (host)
show: The Chris Farley Show- CHF recalls scenes during an interview with host
show: Community College Bowl- students are unable to answer easy questions
skit: boss (PHH) asks novelty item creator (host) about his unconventional gags
song musical guest performs "I Wanna Sex You Up"
song musical guest performs "I Adore Mi Amor"
*******************************************************************************
91o John Goodman / Garth Brooks
...............................................................................
cold: Jerry Brown (DAC), Paul Tsongas (ALF), Clinton (PHH) court Star Trek vote
MONO: musical, car chase, monster movie clips from host's movie The Babe
comm: Unforgivable- album of Natalie Cole (ELC) "duets" with deceased singers
MISC: Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey- on feeding drumsticks to the dolphins
show: My 75 Kids- sperm doctor Cecil Jacobson (host) deals with his offspring
song: musical guest performs "Rodeo"
news: CHF objects to St. Patrick's Day parade gays, points out audience Irish
news: KEN asks Cajunman (ADS) about his spring break trip to Daytona Beach
news: footage shows Ed McMahon (PHH) getting married to third wife Pamela (BEC)
skit: Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer- Cirroc feigns naivete in front of City Council
song: musical guest performs "The River"
*******************************************************************************
92k Harvey Keitel / Madonna
...............................................................................
cold: Marilyn Monroe-like musical guest wishes Clinton (PHH) happy inauguration
COMM: Jiffy Express {rerun}
skit: fancy restaurant bathroom attendant (KEN) makes (host) self-conscious
skit: (host) tries to figure out the gender of fellow castaway androgynous Pat
MISC: Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey- on understanding mankind
skit: mush-mouthed transit workers produce unintelligible subway announcements
MISC: Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey- on passing someone during time travel
misc: musical guest tears up a photo of the "real enemy"- Joey Buttafuoco
misc: an insane idiot (host) shows his collection of descending-size deer heads
MISC: Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey- on making the world safe for our children
song musical guest performs "Fever"
song musical guest performs "Bad Girl"
*******************************************************************************
92r Kirstie Alley / Lenny Kravitz
...............................................................................
cold: SNL's recurring characters sing "Fire Bad" for post-Rodney King unity
mono: castmembers pretend to be host's Cheers co-stars to make her feel better
COMM: Mmmph?- board game lets players give semi-verbal hot & cold signals
skit: the overamorous Italians attend to vacationing Kirpatricks in hotel room
song: musical guest performs "Are You Gonna Go My Way"
skit: Montel Williams (TIM) Show audience member's (host) comments fall flat
MISC: Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey- on looking for the fair's pornography booth
misc: Zoraida annoys host by confusing Cheers with real life
skit: new employee at make-up counter (host) tends to customers (JUS) & (MEH)
song: musical guest performs "Always on the Run"
FILM: "While The City Sweeps" by TOS- a variety show by & for janitors
*******************************************************************************
93a Charles Barkley / Nirvana
...............................................................................
cold: Clinton (PHH) tells what the health care plan will & won't cover
MONO: host goes one-on-one with Godzilla stand-in Barney
COMM: NCI Long Distance Company will do whatever you want to get your business
show: Daily Affirmation- Muggsy Bogues [real] lends support to host
song: musical guest performs "Heart-Shaped Box"
news: Hollywood Minute- DAS gives his thoughts on summer showbiz happenings
skit: Gap girls Kristy & Lucy recall unpleasant experience with Skid Row [real]
song: musical guest performs "Rape Me"
show: Coffee Talk- Linda takes some calls on Yom Kippur
MISC: Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey- on who would be better off dead
*******************************************************************************
93d John Malkovich / Billy Joel
...............................................................................
cold: Phillies spit while Anne Murray (MEH) sings "Oh, Canada" at World Series
mono: host gets worked up while trying to hit a baseball into the audience
skit: on witness stand, Erik (ROS) & Lyle (host) Menendez blame their twins
song: musical guest performs "The River of Dreams"
news: KEN gives a subliminal editorial about Ted Danson's blackface at roast
news: John Kruk (CHF) realizes that he was supposed to have been in Toronto
show: Theatre Stories- Charlton Heston (PHH) & Brits talk about porno films
song: musical guest performs "All About Soul"
skit: James Carville (host) urges Hillary Clinton (JAH) to run in 1996
COMM: McIntosh Post-it Notes- use the computer message units once & throw away
*******************************************************************************
93p Helen Hunt / Snoop Doggy Dogg
...............................................................................
cold: Cindy Crawford [real] introduces Rockers To Help Explain Whitewater video
mono: host shows clips of her roles in Swiss Family Robinson & The Bionic Woman
skit: Total Bastard Airlines employees say their "buh-byes" to passengers
show: Coffee Talk- Linda & host discuss which Oscar nominees they like
song: musical guest performs "Gin & Juice"
news: Dick Vitale (JAM) gives his March Madness-flavored Oscar predictions
news: Bennett Brauer (CHF) lists reasons why he's ill-suited for TV, then flies
show Profiles in Cowardice- fraidy-cats describe their unheroic acts
skit a director (MMK) elicits an emotional performance from (host) via sexism
comm: The Washing Machine- a movie from the director of The Piano stars (ELC)
comm Astounding Information- (KEN) shows (host) how to use Miracle Egg Fryer
song: musical guest performs "Lodi Dodi"
TOON by Mike Judge- storage of old boxes cramps Milton's office space
show Rob Schneider's Girlfriend Theater- (KEN) & (host) prove she's still evil
*******************************************************************************
93q Kelsey Grammer / Dwight Yoakam
...............................................................................
cold: Hillary Clinton's (JAH) investment advice- cattle futures yes, land no
mono: host denies he's wearing a wig until Sy Sperling [real] confronts him
COMM: Majestic Caribbean Cruise Line has it all, including Manute Bol [real]
show Inhibited Dance Party USA- the least introverted couple is (host) & (MEH)
show: Sunday Morning with Charles Kuralt (NOM)- sex with women met on the road
song: musical guest performs "Pocket of a Clown"
news: Mustafa Mohammed (TIM) says that today's problems are caused by whiteness
news: CHF & DAS offer takes on their spring break trip to Cancun
skit: 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea- Captain Nemo (host) tries to explain units
MISC: Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey- on braking after driving over a cliff
skit: Captain Jim (TIM) & Pedro (ADS) compete for a job at Foot Locker
misc: MMK tells how you can read more about Captain Jim & Pedro
skit Something Smells Good in Stinkville, part one- (host) & (ELC) sniff it
skit Rudolph (KEN) & Andrew (CHF) Giuliani at a Yankee game full of foul balls
skit Something Smells Good in Stinkville, part two- it could be the sandwich
song: musical guest performs "Fast as You"
skit (host) & other manly guys sing "I Am A Man" from Iron John, The Musical
MISC: Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey- on losing your pants while robbing a bank
skit Something Smells Good in Stinkville, part three- the town name changes
*******************************************************************************
94a Steve Martin / Eric Clapton
...............................................................................
cold: CHF, DAS, CSE, ADS, TIM audition to be SNL's post-PHH Clinton
mono: while bombing on-stage, host steps outside himself to see what went wrong
COMM: brain pains can be detected with the H.H.T. home headache test
skit: Court TV covers the trial of O.J. Simpson (TIM); Brian Austin Green cameo
comm: host lists some of the uses of his all-natural penis beauty cream
skit: Total Bastard Airlines employees demonstrate more of their rude behavior
song: musical guest performs "I'm Tore Down"
news LAK shares some life lessons she's recently learned
news: Gil Graham (ADS) reviews concerts that he wasn't able to get in to see
show The Ron Wood (MIM) Show- the interviews consist of incoherent mumbling
misc (MMK) sings song about country musician Buck Daniels' (host) tragic life
skit an ad agency comes up with confusing jingles for the Nut-Rific candy bar
COMM Super Sports Tours- join a bunch of striking baseball players on a cruise
misc cruisers Roger Clemens, Bobby Bonilla, Jack McDowell [real] in audience
song: musical guest performs "Five Long Years"
skit: (CHF) & (JAG) get defensive because they feel their baby is inferior
*******************************************************************************
94f John Turturro / Tom Petty
...............................................................................
cold: Nixon (host) shows Newt Gingrich (CHF) a not-so-Wonderful liberal Life
mono: LOM rigs a Quiz Show to let host do SNL instead of Joey Buttafuoco [real]
COMM Eych {rerun}
show Celebrity Psychic Friend Gary Busey (MMK) joins Christopher Walken (JAM)
skit: (JAG) repeatedly hangs up the phone before (host) gets a chance to talk
song: musical guest performs "You Don't Know How It Feels"
news: publicity has gone to the head of self-styled superstar Judge Ito (MIM)
news: after much prodding, David Hasselhoff [real] confirms NOM's German theory
skit Robert DeNiro (host) stars in the musical version of Taxi Driver
misc musical guest plays guitar while his doppelganger (DAS) mumbles along
show: Stop That- (host) mimics his show's guests until they get annoyed & leave
comm: tourism-dependent Jamaicans (ELC) & (TIM)- "go ahead, treat us like dirt"
comm: Ira Resnick (host) doubts credentials of fellow dentist Josh Levine (CSE)
show The Movie Club- brothers (host) & (ADS) recommend tapes to rent
comm: Josh Levine's retaliatory ad- "Ira Resnick uses unsterilized instruments"
comm: more Ira Resnick mudslinging- magazine & hygienist age, novocaine use
*******************************************************************************
94l Bob Newhart / Des'ree
...............................................................................
cold: Colin Ferguson (TIM) tries to defend himself against murder charges
mono: host does stand-up about a new security guard's King Kong phone call
show: Ricki Lake (JAM)- Bob Hartley (host) gives advice about odd love triangle
show Book Buzz- (CHF)'s world record book has only personally verifiable feats
song: musical guest performs "You Gotta Be"
news: while on the witness stand at the O.J. trial, (CSE) mugs for the camera
news: DAS evaluates potential suitors for Cindy Crawford
news: for Valentine's Day, ADS plays guitar & sings about the "Sex Phone Lady"
show Baywatch- the lifeguards are slow to react to a drowning man (CHF)
skit: employee relations officer (host) talks with a disgruntled postal worker
misc: host tries to discourage CHF & CSE from playing "Hi Bob" drinking game
show Sports Beat- ups & downs of a manic-depressive announcer's (host) career
MISC: Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey- on gold nuggets vs. the hardware store
MISC: Bob Hartley tells wife Emily (Suzanne Pleshette) about his bad SNL dream
*******************************************************************************
94m Deion Sanders / Bon Jovi
...............................................................................
cold: O.J. Simpson (TIM) sways jurors during a field trip to his house
skit other sources of income allow host to promote baseball strike solidarity
show: 1995 ESPY Awards- sports honors with John Goodman (CHF); Manute Bol cameo
song: musical guest performs "Always"
news: Operaman sings about Colin Ferguson, Demi Moore, Brad Pitt, more
skit mission into UFO leaves macho commandos naked, defensive, & emasculated
skit: rappers (host), (TIM), (ADS) perform short songs with simple lyrics
show: Perspectives- Lionel Osbourne & director of boys' athletic club (host)
song: musical guest performs "Someday I'll Be Saturday Night"
skit: to help a sick boy (CHF), host hotdogs & taunts opponents during a game
song host performs "Must Be The Money" & "It's On"
*******************************************************************************
96e CSR / The Wallflowers
...............................................................................
cold: Bush (DAC) prepares Bob Dole (NOM) for his upcoming loss to Clinton (DAH)
mono: CSR does stand-up about Clinton & sexual harassment
COMM: to some, lack of medical evidence that Excedril relieves pain is a plus
show I'm Chillin'- Onski plugs I Ain't Tryin' To Hear That home pregnancy test
comm in Dole ad, woman (MOS), black guy (TIM), gay man (MAM) say "don't vote"
show: The Dark Side- Jesse Jackson (DAH), Tori Spelling (CHO), Mike Tyson (TRM)
COMM: Mark Russell's (MAM) Election Year Comedy Special features impish lyrics
show: Charles Grodin (DAC)- Abe Vigoda [real] & other celebrity guests opine
song: musical guest performs "One Headlight"
TOON: "Queen of Terror" by RBS- The Ambiguously Gay Duo thwarts Serena's scheme
skit Bob Dole (NOM) rehearses his mean-spirited victory & concession speeches
misc LOM tells NOM it's time to retire the Bob Dole impression
skit to his dad (CSR), college-educated (TIM)'s simple acts are affronts
skit music teacher couple Marty (WIF) & Bobbi (ANG) sing a pseudo-soul medley
COMM: Russell Simmons' Def Emergency Room Jam features foul-mouthed physicians
show Perspectives- Lionel Osbourne talks with Million Man Marcher (CSR)
*******************************************************************************
96k David Alan Grier / Snoop Doggy Dogg
...............................................................................
cold Paula Jones (CHO) tries to identify Clinton's (DAH) genitalia in line-up
mono host sings "Let's Get Butt-Naked In The White House" to mark inauguration
COMM capital punishment wackiness on Death Row Bloopers & Practical Jokes tape
show 20/20- Barbara Walters (CHO) interviews musical guest amid his entourage
skit (host), (TIM), (TRM) get emotional while watching Waiting To Exhale
show Both Sides with Jesse Jackson (DAH)- Kincaid & others discuss Ebonics
skit (ANG), (MOS), other Rocky Roads say no to sexual harassment & shoplifting
COMM Maya Angelou (host) recites verse in praise of Butterfinger
news though Michael Irvin was falsely accused, COQ isn't going to apologize
song musical guest performs "Snoop's Upside Ya Head"
skit ex-porn stars Don Wong (JMB) & Reggie Owens (TRM) try a fast-food career
COMM Maya Angelou (host) endorses Froot Loops! poetically
show mispriced Scottie Pippen bust may ruin Don West (WIF) & Eddy Lewis (CHK)
FILM "Wheaty the Wheaten Terrier" by RBS- dog's supposed heroism not apparent
song musical guest performs "Vapors"
comm Bill Gates (MAM) introduces Microsoft products that will change the world
COMM Maya Angelou (host) voices muse-inspired admiration for Pennzoil
COMM see monster trucks & funny car civilization Sunday at Worcester Centrum
*******************************************************************************
96m CHC / Live
...............................................................................
cold: Nightline- Madonna (ANG), Debbie Reynolds (CHO), Courtney Love (MOS)
mono: CHC brings his alleged family on-stage after thanking them for their love
COMM: Home Security Decoys {rerun}
skit: Clinton's (DAH) itinerary is dominated by petty money-making ventures
show: O.J. Simpson (TIM) emcees telethon to raise money for civil suit damages
skit Marty & Bobbi sing a coming-of-age medley at niece's 16th birthday party
COMM 20th anniversary re-release of Smokey & the Bandit contains a Yoda scene
show: Charlie Rose (MAM)- Goat Boy, Cow Man (CHC), others discuss legal system
news: COQ thinks that Clinton's infidelities should be no big deal
song: musical guest performs "Lakini's Juice"
skit news anchor (CHC) returns to the desk following a credibility breakdown
skit Zimmermans (CHK) & (CHO) spice up their marriage by playing "first date"
skit department store employees (WIF) & (CHC) peep at (MOS) in dressing room
song musical guest performs "Heropsychodreamer"
skit: newsstand owner Andrew (MAM) is obsessed with fog-penetrating Chopper 4
*******************************************************************************
96r Pamela Lee / Rollins Band
...............................................................................
cold Janet Reno (WIF) hijacks Clinton (DAH) press conference to defend herself
mono in an attempt to calm her nerves, host takes off some of her clothing
COMM Darnette Disposable Toilets {rerun}
skit at a beach volleyball tourney, Craig & Arianna cheer & rescue C.J. (host)
show Biography- Tiger Woods (TIM) & controlling father Earl (TRM) are profiled
skit Roxbury Guys pursue (host) from the dance club to the health club
skit on host's movie set, jealous hubby Tommy (NOM) can't fathom make-believe
misc Tommy Lee [real] doesn't understand that previous skit was make-believe
TOON by RBS- The Ambiguously Gay Duo teaches safety tips to kids
song musical guest performs "Starve"
show Hey, Remember the 80's- Jenny McCarthy (host) & David Lee Roth (CHK)
show Oprah's (TIM) Book Club- sycophantic guests say what she wants to hear
COMM Larry King's (NOM) News & Views range from the trite to the bizarre
comm host's cleavage causes accidents at her Invitational NASCAR Rally
COMM Larry King (NOM) offers more News & Views
show The Twilight Zone- in the eyes of her pig-faced beholders, (host) is hot
skit on a first date, (CHK) pretends to like knockout (host)'s sense of humor
*******************************************************************************
98a Cameron Diaz / The Smashing Pumpkins
...............................................................................
cold Oprah (TIM) 2002- Linda Tripp (John Goodman) et al recall Lewinsky affair
mono without provocation, host gets tough with audience member (Hugh Fink)
COMM MasterCard made possible the priceless aspect of the Lewinsky affair
show The View- Mark McGwire (WIF); Debbie Matenopoulos (host) battles raccoon
COMM Oops! I Crapped My Pants can withstand full blasts from seniors' bowels
show The Ladies' Man- Leon & (host) act out scenes from the Starr Report
COMM The Best Of The First 20 Minutes Of SNL redefines straight-to-videotape
show The New Hollywood Squares- the game goes on despite collapse of the board
TOON "Fun With Real Audio" by RBS- Nixon haunts outtakes from Clinton address
news COQ thinks it's time to stop obsessing over the Lewinsky affair
news Dominican Lou wants $1,000,000 for a baseball vaguely tied to Sammy Sosa
song musical guest performs "Perfect"
skit at the Moomba Club, foxy (host) picks up Roxbury Guys, Festrunks
skit words fail odor of witches' brew; Jonathan Richman & Tommy Larkins cameos
COMM The Gap- "This is so easy" says sax-playing Clinton (DAH)
show Jingleheimer Junction- new castmember (WIF) spells disaster for kids show
COMM The Gap- "This is not easy" says electric guitarist Hillary Clinton (ANG)
comm Spice Girls (MOS), (CHO), (CHK), (host) give advice for pregnant mothers
TOON "Maakies" by Tony Millionaire- proletarian Crow deadens himself
COMM The Gap- "This is easy" says Kenneth Starr (CHP) as he jigs amid evidence
*******************************************************************************
98b Kelsey Grammer / Sheryl Crow
...............................................................................
cold in bed, Clinton (DAH) gets an icy reception from bitter Hillary (ANG)
mono host sings rejected alternative Frasier theme songs
COMM KCF Shredders- (JIF) pitches bagged lettuce & mayonnaise to Generation X
skit Margaret Jo & Terry talk wilderness food with naturalist-cannibal (host)
COMM avoid sex scandals by electing eunuch Terry Ferguson (WIF) to the Senate
skit (TRM) treats grown-up son (Shaquille O'Neal) as if he were still little
COMM Terry Ferguson has neither Washington-insider status nor genitals
skit a dame (MOS) turns film noir private eye's (host) thoughts to burritos
skit (host) wets Baywatch, Hal Linden, Christine Baranksi, Patti LuPone [real]
COMM volume 1 of The Best of Horatio Sanz doesn't quite fill the videotape
news COQ likens the problem of debtor nations to that of tapped-out friends
news French playboy Tropical Storm Georges (host) luxuriates in his power
song musical guest performs "My Favorite Mistake"
skit (host)'s socialization try proves Mr. Peepers is animal, not human being
TOON "Maakies" by Tony Millionaire- chopped-in-half rat becomes a mermaid
show Morning Latte- Tom & Cass bug new producer (CHK); Shaquille O'Neal cameo
show Hello Dolly- personal problems pervade saccharine pitch of (host) & (ANG)
show lumberjacks blame timbersports champion (WIF) for hogging Jesus' backing
*******************************************************************************
98e DAS / Eagle-Eye Cherry
...............................................................................
COLD DAS complains to his therapist (Brad Pitt) about the curse of fame
mono DAS does stand-up about a polar bear mauling & the archetypal Cops perp
COMM the Mercury Mistress is the car you can both drive & have sex with
skit Monica Lewinsky (MOS) & publicist (DAS) screen potential interviewers
COMM Mack North (WIF) relishes victory in exorbitant post-election attack ad
show Accruing Equity & Making Hot, Sweet Love- finance & fornication mingle
COMM Mack North accosts vanquished opponent Fred Peete (CHP) in a parking lot
skit drill sergeant (WIF) aggressively solicits love-life advice from recruits
skit new dancer Kiwi (DAS) seems to have stolen Mango's magic; CSR cameo
COMM Mack North uses a Fred Peete mask to further rub in the election results
skit kids' attempts to wish grandma "Happy Birthday" via phone displease (WIF)
news COQ analyzes the gifts given by Clinton to Monica Lewinsky
news Hollywood Minute- DAS & lookalike hand puppet engage in celebrity gossip
song musical guest performs "Save Tonight"
skit (DAS) ruins Felicity scene by also speaking Keri Russell's (MOS) part
skit Dr. Laura Schlessinger (ANG) berates callers to her radio program
skit chaperone (DAS) lays down the ground rules for bachelor party attendees
*******************************************************************************
98l Gwyneth Paltrow / Barenaked Ladies
...............................................................................
cold supposed good sport Clinton (DAH) gloats about beating his impeachers
mono Ben Affleck [real] asks host to stop pretending she's English
show E! offers awards show-style coverage of the Clinton impeachment trial
COMM Behind The Music- Joan Jett (host) recalls "I Love Rock n' Roll"
skit Mary Katherine Gallagher proves tougher than her all-girl gang initiators
COMM Behind The Music- John Oates (CHK) came up with "Private Eyes" claps
skit dumb girlfriend (host) ruins musician's (JIF) act but is too sexy to drop
TOON "X-Presidents" by RBS- impeachment spurs a rampage by the Constitution
comm Staten Island Nurses- (host) & (CHO) socialize amidst medical drama
COMM Trent Lott (DAH) says "You're Watching E!"
news multitalented beltway insider Vernon Jordan (TIM) sings about himself
song musical guest performs "It's All Been Done"
skit while meeting fiancee's (MOS) family, (WIF) is deluged with jokey accents
COMM Behind The Music- Colin Hay (JIF) gets lost in "Who Can It Be Now"
show Biography- bitter over being ousted, Jack Perkins (DAH) tars Harry Smith
skit William Rehnquist (WIF) tires of partisan voting during impeachment trial
comm Hardcore Rock- host endorses album of porn movie soundtrack music
*******************************************************************************
99a Jerry Seinfeld / David Bowie
...............................................................................
cold Pat Buchanan (CHP) & Donald Trump (DAH) vie to be Reform Party candidate
mono for host, a typical day in NYC involves watching cheesy TV reruns nonstop
COMM slow-to-get-online investment firm got stuck with clownpenis.fart domain
show Morning Latte- Cass' husband Eli (CHP) & fruit-meat diet doctor (host)
skit Mary Katherine Gallagher falls for Jewish basketball star (host)
comm trust Javis Home Security Systems to keep out freaks like diaperer (WIF)
show Action8 News Watch- anchors (host) & (ANG) deliver alarmist teases
NEWS The Millennium- sharks were unaffected by the past 1000 years of history
news host & Jerry Seinfeld (JIF) engage in a point-counterpoint about The Gap
song musical guest performs "Thursday's Child"
SHOW OZ- host brings Seinfeld sensibilities to a maximum security prison
skit (WIF) calls 1-800-EAT-SHIT in a futile attempt to report a bad driver
skit TV execs give ...And A Pizza Place its own series; A.J. Benza cameo
song musical guest performs "Rebel Rebel"
skit thug (WIF) alternately interrogates (host) & nurses him back to health
*******************************************************************************
99b Heather Graham / Marc Anthony
...............................................................................
cold moderate (HOS) is born from DNA of Al Gore (DAH) & George W. Bush (WIF)
mono TIM, WIF, CHP concoct ruses in order to expose themselves to host
COMM Litter Critters molds let kids make fun toys out of cat crap
skit on an airplane, (host) wants husband (WIF) to emulate Zimmermans' antics
show The Ladies' Man- Leon & Rollergirl (host) review four porno movies
SHOW Where Are They Now?- a report on the post-SNL lives of Hans & Franz
show Bono (CHK), Busta Rhymes (TRM), Jewel (host) perform at NetAid
news COQ takes delight in trouncing a little girl in an education debate
news HOS & COQ launch a Latin comedy explosion with Telemundo-style humor
song musical guest performs "I Need To Know"
show Dog Show- (host) leads a seance to summon Mr. Rocky Balboa's dead mother
misc LOM's promise not to do a Blair Witch parody turns out to be an empty one
song musical guest performs "That's Okay"
skit Warren (CHP) & Fran (ANG) analyze three-way with their babysitter (host)
*******************************************************************************
99j Freddie Prinze, Jr. / Macy Gray
...............................................................................
cold at a press conference, Elian Gonzalez (CHK) badmouths the USA
mono flu-ravaged cast may necessitate cancellation of host's SNL episode
COMM Colonel Belmont's Old Fashioned Horse Glue has no artificial ingredients
show Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?- contestant (WIF) quits after winning $100
show Boy Band Blowout 2000- (host) is the new lead singer of 7 Degrees Celsius
COMM Monica Lewinsky (MOS) likes the phallic dishes possible with Jenny Craig
skit ugly models (RAD) & (CHO) have high self-esteem; Angie Everhart cameo
COMM television critics offer gushing quotes in praise of The Sopranos
skit irresponsible doctor (WIF) tells a couple (CHP) & (MOS) about their baby
show Charlie Rose (DAH)- Ricky Martin (CHK) & Enrique Iglesias (host)
news a la Catherine Zeta-Jones, CHO announces she's engaged to a 4 year-old
song musical guest performs "I Try"
skit (host) beholds domestic strife of Frank (DAH) & Kathie Lee (CHO) Gifford
song musical guest performs "Why Didn't You Call Me"
comm (TRM) & (host) sell dried-up Christmas trees as important MLK Day icons
*******************************************************************************
99k Alan Cumming / Jennifer Lopez
...............................................................................
cold presidential candidates have breakfast after the New Hampshire primary
mono host is besieged by Broadway-wannabes CHO, CHK, ANG, CHP, TRM, WIF
COMM Uncle Jemima's (TRM) Pure Mash Liquor is his bid to escape wife's shadow
comm VH-1 depicts John Lennon (JIF) & Paul McCartney (host) as restauranteurs
skit Marty & Bobby perform a medley with couples workshop organizer (host)
show Dog Show- an intervention addresses Mr. Bojangles' drinking problem
FILM "The Heat Is On" by Adam McKay- (BES) regrets bedding Glenn Frey (WIF)
song musical guest performs "Feelin' So Good"
news Great Moments in Black History- TRM offers an autobiography
news Clinton (DAH) says "the next president will be boring; you'll miss me"
show Siegfried (host) & Roy's (CHK) Night of 1000 Tigers is a wildlife benefit
show Hello Dolly- (host)'s collectible creations are a vehicle for psychoses
show musical guest performs "Waiting For Tonight"
*******************************************************************************
99q Tobey Maguire / Sisqo
...............................................................................
cold host reads the Studio 8H Rules to orphan castmembers
mono audience member (Adam McKay) isn't familiar with host's body of work
show Jeopardy!- Sean Connery (DAH), Keanu Reeves (host), Hilary Swank (JIF)
misc while going to commercial, Clarence 'Gatemouth' Brown [real] plays guitar
skit Burger Castle employee Nadeen tells customers to "simmer down"
TOON "Up Close With Geppetto" by RBS- Pinocchio humps interviewee Sharon Stone
show Inside The Actors Studio- Dustin Diamond (host) on being Screech
skit Mrs. Attebury indelicately plies tennis pro's (host) institutionalization
news Angelina Jolie (MOS) & brother James (CHK) address relationship rumors
news for National Lingerie Week, Joy Lipton shows some boudoir fashions
song musical guest performs "Thong Song"
skit after three years of effort, yoga student (WIF) achieves self-fellation
FILM "Stavenhagens Pawnshop" by Adam McKay- (Steve Buscemi) pays cash for food
skit store clerk (host) clues (ANG) to fiance's (WIF) porn proclivity
COMM after nebulous pitch, Westlink admits "even we don't know what we do"
*******************************************************************************
Frank Serpas III ser...@io.com
...............................................................................
it's SATURDAY NET- http://www.io.com/~serpas/snl.html