AOQ Review 1-4: "Teacher's Pet"
Arbitrar Of Quality
threads.
BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER
Season One, Episode 4: "Teacher's Pet"
(or "...then I ram my ovipositor down your throat and lay my eggs in
your chest. But
I'm not an alien!")
Writer: David Greenwalt
Director: Bruce Seth Green
There's good stuff and bad stuff in "Teacher's Pet." I want to say
that the good outweighs the bad, considering that there's a lot more of
it. But the badness in this show is pervasive, and leaves an
unpleasant enough taste in one's mouth that it weighs down the rest of
the show and keeps it from being too much of a winner. The sheer
awfulness of a few key scenes ensures that the best TP as a whole can
aspire to is inoffensiveness.
So which parts are the ones that I find so egregious? You can pretty
much take any scene that includes Xander in the first three-quarters of
the show and use it as an example. We start with the merely stupid
(the opening dream sequence) and quickly proceed to the irritating.
Remember the previous three episodes when the character had defining
traits other than horniness? Well, forget about them here, because
this is all about Xander the thirteen-year-old, emitting a constant
stream of babble about what a stud he is. The show doesn't seem to
know whether he's honestly deluded enough to believe any of it
(certainly his inexplicably accusing Buffy of jealousy when she tries
to tell him about Ms. French would suggest genuine stupidity) or
whether he's just overcompensating for his insecurity. It doesn't
really matter; he's annoying and unfunny. There are so many better
ways to go with this character, as anyone who watched "Witch" can
attest to. Note that Xander thinks with his cock a lot in that episode
too, yet he's still, you know, likable. Those were good days.
(Oh, and Buffy? You could put forth a little actual effort when it
comes to keeping your friends from walking into what you know is
life-threatening danger. You're a superhero; you're capable of running
after someone who's walking away.)
The episode's other major bad point, which is connected to the previous
complaint, comes from Ms. French. Bad TV shows often posit that all
males are sex-obsessed and therefore stupid. Bad SF/F shows use this
idea in the form of Fantasy Stock Plot #306, in which a female has
special powers (insect pheromones, in this case) which, by themselves,
leave all males drooling and powerless in her grasp. This plot has
never been the basis for anything that wasn't pure shit, and the scenes
in this episode continue that trend. As a guy, I would like to take
this chance to make the point that humans are not insects; we have
cognition and such to go along with the evolutionarily conserved
hormone signals. Thus, being affected by a sexually attractive woman
should not automatically transform a male character into a slavering
moron. This fact might be useful to those writers seeking to create
individuals that audiences might relate to or like, and in fact to
anyone wishing to write something that doesn't suck.
There's a lot of effort elsewhere to write something that doesn't suck.
The opening sequence is a good example. Dr. Jeffrey is a character
who exists for the sole purpose of dying, but the scene leading up to
it is going to do its damndest to make him interesting. In about two
minutes, he gets both deadpan humor ("I just don't care") and a
respectable frame of mind for a teacher unaware of the whole Hellmouth
thing (disappointment that a clearly capable student isn't bothering to
live up to her potential). So I actually was disappointed when he
died. One thing I like about this show in general is that just because
a character isn't important doesn't mean he's exempt from a little
development.
The rest of the cast do a respectable job putting together the clues
and figuring out the deal with their new substitute. But even ignoring
my other objections to this episode, I thought the idea of a giant
insect disguised as a human is ultimately a little too silly for its
own good. Yes, I am indeed aware that this is a show about vampires.
It's still too silly for its own good. The actors make a noble effort
to lend the situation some gravity, but you can never quite forget that
the ultimate goal is to save people from being raped and eaten by a
preying mantis.
(While we're still peripherally on our preying mantis here, any
particular reason she eats some people right away while making the time
and effort to lure others to her den?)
Angel puts in another appearance here (I missed seeing him last week),
and actor David Boreanaz continues to resist the urge to emote in any
way. He's seeming a little less mysterious and more bland after three
episodes of this, but the ending (and the introduction of some
contextual sexual tension) suggests that we are going somewhere, so
that''s not a problem. Again, I really can't look at Angel as a
totally naive viewer the way I'd like to (I'm always like "THIS guy
gets his own show?"). So far he's been interesting mostly for seeing
Buffy's reactions to his mysterious-stranger act ("No, you're just
going to give me some cryptic clue and disappear into the night").
Speaking of being missed, have I mentioned yet how deeply I love
Principal Flutie? The "healing" scene is, predictably, the best of the
show.
"Teacher's Pet" is full of fun moments and nice little touches. Just
to list a few, how about the role of Fork-Guy in general, and Buffy's
ability to see wooden stakes anywhere? Or the idea of the bat call,
and the use of a double-sided cassette to add a little urgency? Or the
scene with the real Ms. French? Or the fact that Cordelia only gets
about four lines, all of which are pretty good? Or Giles' mad friend,
especially given that the payoff is that one sided phone conversation
("You were right, old boy. No, not about everything.")? Or Xander's
escape attempt? Or his going nuts on the bug corpse and the musical
transition into the next scene? There's a really strong episode
somewhere under the exoskeleton of "Teacher's Pet," constantly trying
to gnaw its way out from under the weaker scenes.
Okay, so what's the deal with Willow gushing over Xander at the end?
First of all, I hadn't pegged her as prude enough to consider virginity
automatically a good thing (or a turn-on). And secondly, I thought
"Welcome To The Hellmouth" had established them as old friends who
weren't interested in anything romantic, but now it seems like that's
suddenly changed. The stage is set for what a certain wise man would
call a Love Rhombus, with Buffy, Angel, Xander, and Willow. I don't
think that's necessarily the best place for the show to go, but it's
still too early to criticize the idea.
Buffy's treatment of the broken glasses at the end is really quite
sweet. Again, a little acknowledgment of the fact that Jeffrey was a
person rather than a plot device.
Hopefully the final shot doesn't mean we'll have any more mantis
stories. Once is acceptable, twice is painful. Let's move on to
werewolves or evil clowns or something.
So....
One-sentence summary: Clearly more good than bad, but the bad stuff is
really awful.
AOQ rating: Decent
[Season One ratings so far:
1) "Welcome To The Hellmouth" - Good
2) "The Harvest" - Decent
3) "Witch" - Excellent
4) "Teacher's Pet" - Decent]
exquisite witch peachy
On the flip side, from a female perspective it truly does seem at
times that the moment a teenage boy has the blood rush downward
there isn't enough left to run the brain.
We all know you are CAPABLE of cognition during lust, but few of
the male species ever exhibit the skill until later in life.
I accept you finding it insulting, and frankly I respect you that
you feel that way.
kenm47
First, this is an homage episode, a standalone but with some overall
show arc consequences (as pretty much always). This one to all the
cheesy giant insect "B" movies, the Wasp Woman, the Spider Lady, etc.
It was a small sub-genre.
Second, the brilliance of what seems a slight episode is in short (Dr.
Gregory was also in Witch) we get to know a character for a minute, he
seems a good guy, nice to Buffy and all, we have hopes he'll be a help
to our heroine later, and then he's dead and gone. In 1997 that kind of
thing was a shocker. (And yes, the Flutie business about it and the
non-hugging were clever and funny in a macabre way.
As for the virginity thing, again this is 1997, the "kids" are supposed
to be H.S. Sophomores, which means about 14 - 15, and therefore not (at
least in TV world ways) sexually experienced. Xander is meant to
represent the "decent" guy who can't get any for a number of reasons,
including an unwillingness to boorishly force the issue. Twas a gentler
time. That doesn't mean no fantasies, with Buffy being the biggest for
him at this point. That "jealousy" speech can be chalked up to in part
pheromes talking too.
IIRC, I alway recognized a Willow/Xander vibe from WttH and the "He
stole my Barbie" speech on. Didn't think that was all that hidden.
On the Spoiler front, something else to note: until some of us, me for
example, discovered usenet discussion groups, we had no idea what the
working title of the episode was generally when they first aired. IIRC,
at times the WB would name the ep in rerun, as in a very special encore
presentation of WttH or the like.
That's all for now. I generally agree with you, not a great episode,
but decent, and fun as a homage riff. Oh, and also important as to
Buffy's take charge approach, and again increasing evidence of Buffy's
intelligence.
Ken (Brooklyn)
kenm47
say after you've seen a season or two ot three worth.
Ken (Brooklyn)
Don Sample
"Arbitrar Of Quality" <tsm...@wildmail.com> wrote:
> Dr. Jeffrey is a character
> who exists for the sole purpose of dying, but the scene leading up to
> it is going to do its damndest to make him interesting.
But somehow, not enough for you to remember his name. It was Doctor
Gregory.
One thing I liked about him, was that he wasn't introduced in this
episode. So many shows have their red shirts just show up for the
episode that they die in, but Dr. Gregory first appeared in 'Witch.' So
now, none of the supporting cast are safe.
--
Quando omni flunkus moritati
Visit the Buffy Body Count at <http://homepage.mac.com/dsample/>
Don Sample
"kenm47" <ken...@ix.netcom.com> wrote:
> As for the virginity thing, again this is 1997, the "kids" are supposed
> to be H.S. Sophomores, which means about 14 - 15, and therefore not (at
> least in TV world ways) sexually experienced.
At this point Buffy and Xander are 16. (Nothing is said about Willow's
age, she might be 15.)
kenm47
Willow's
age, she might be 15.) "
Right. Buffy is 16. Of course. Joyce has only mentioned that 4 times or
so already by TP. D'Oh! Where have they said how old Xander is; not
finding that?
BTW, in NYC Kindergarten used to start at 4 - 5 y.o., so a 10th grader
(h.s. sophomore) would be 14 - 15, maybe 16 I guess depending on actual
birth date and being left back or not.
Ken (Brooklyn)
John Briggs
You all graduated at 17?
--
John Briggs
kenm47
Yes. I started my senior year at 16, and then turned 18 as my first
college semester got under way.
Kindergaten was for those 5 or turning 5 soon after the school year
began, so that could get a kid to 17 or 18 at actual time of H.S.
graduation from "12th" grade.
Ken (Brooklyn)
exquisite witch peachy
I did, and I was in Utah.
John Briggs
That wasn't my question - I asked if you all graduated at 17, which is the
implication of being 14-15 halfway through 10th grade.
--
John Briggs
kenm47
the
implication of being 14-15 halfway through 10th grade. "
Then I am not getting your question. Yes. I was 17. So were others.
Some would have been 18. Maybe some were 16 if they skipped a grade.
So not "all," but nothing unusual.
Ken (Brooklyn)
Don Sample
"kenm47" <ken...@ix.netcom.com> wrote:
> "At this point Buffy and Xander are 16. (Nothing is said about
> Willow's
> age, she might be 15.) "
>
> Right. Buffy is 16. Of course. Joyce has only mentioned that 4 times or
> so already by TP. D'Oh! Where have they said how old Xander is; not
> finding that?
In a season 2 episode, just after Buffy's 17th birthday, Xander will say
that he's 17 (which makes him 16 at this point.)
> BTW, in NYC Kindergarten used to start at 4 - 5 y.o., so a 10th grader
> (h.s. sophomore) would be 14 - 15, maybe 16 I guess depending on actual
> birth date and being left back or not.
'The Harvest' took place "out of the crescent moon, the first past the
solstice." That places it some time in the 29.5 days following Dec 21,
1996, or no later than January 20. (About January 12, if they'd
actually checked the phases of the moon.)
Various references over the years place Buffy's birthday in the third
week of January. Since she is already 16 at the start of 'Welcome to
the Hellmouth,' her birthday must have just happened, no more than a
week before the start of the show. She would have been 15 at the start
of the school year.
Don Sample
"kenm47" <ken...@ix.netcom.com> wrote:
And Buffy and Xander being 16 in the middle of their sophomore year is
nothing unusual either.
kenm47
nothing unusual either."
Agreed.
Ken (Brooklyn)
John Briggs
At some stage (possibly not during S1, although that can't be ruled out),
the convention was adopted that the events of the episode took place around
the time of the broadcast. At the time of writing the script for "The
Harvest" (11 September 1996), Joss probably didn't know when it was going to
be broadcast. In the event, it was broadcast on 10 March 1997. And
consistency isn't Joss's strongest point, of course.
--
John Briggs
Don Sample
"John Briggs" <john.b...@ntlworld.com> wrote:
There is also a sign in 'Witch' that says that they're doing the 1996
cheerleader tryouts, but that doesn't really fit with any other date
reference anywhere in the show.
John Briggs
That would be a crew mistake that didn't get picked up. They were shooting
the episode in October 1996.
--
John Briggs
Ian Galbraith
[snip]
> One-sentence summary: Clearly more good than bad, but the bad stuff is
> really awful.
> AOQ rating: Decent
This is my vote for the all time worst Buffy episode, some of the dialogue
was probably good but on the whole I found it awful.
--
You Can't Stop The Signal
Shuggie
> Okay, so what's the deal with Willow gushing over Xander at the end?
> First of all, I hadn't pegged her as prude enough to consider virginity
> automatically a good thing (or a turn-on). And secondly, I thought
> "Welcome To The Hellmouth" had established them as old friends who
> weren't interested in anything romantic, but now it seems like that's
> suddenly changed.
No. It was established in WttH that Willow likes Xander. She turned up
to the Bronze on the off-chance that he might be there.
> The stage is set for what a certain wise man would
> call a Love Rhombus, with Buffy, Angel, Xander, and Willow.
Well quadrilateral anyhow - not sure why it needs to be a rhombus ;)
> One-sentence summary: Clearly more good than bad, but the bad stuff is
> really awful.
>
> AOQ rating: Decent
>
I'd put it notch higher than that I think. It's an enjoyable weaker
episode.
--
Shuggie
Arbitrar Of Quality
Shuggie wrote:
> Arbitrar Of Quality <tsm...@wildmail.com> wrote:
>
> > Okay, so what's the deal with Willow gushing over Xander at the end?
> > First of all, I hadn't pegged her as prude enough to consider virginity
> > automatically a good thing (or a turn-on). And secondly, I thought
> > "Welcome To The Hellmouth" had established them as old friends who
> > weren't interested in anything romantic, but now it seems like that's
> > suddenly changed.
>
> No. It was established in WttH that Willow likes Xander. She turned up
> to the Bronze on the off-chance that he might be there.
Apparently everyone read the subtext of the "are you two...?" scene
from WttH differently than I did. Well, the show seems to be agreeing
with you guys now.
-AOQ
Don Sample
"Arbitrar Of Quality" <tsm...@wildmail.com> wrote:
A bit of trivia about this episode that no one has brought up yet: The
preying mantis monster that we saw at the end was a puppet that the
effects company recycled from Babylon 5, where it was used as an alien.
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