Fic: "Bringing Up Botty..." Part III...

[reg...@aol.com]

“Bringing Up Botty...”

Summary: At a Writer’s Convention, a certain poet is thrown into the
most bizarre of his adventures...

Disclaimers: Disclaimers?...We ain’t got no disclaimers…I don’ need to
show you no disclaimers…No, Joss, no!...It’s all yours and ME’s!...

Though Mort still gets nothing…

Archived sooner or later at the Buffy Rebecca verse, www.buffyrebecca.com,
Cicelyverse page, www.buffyrebecca.com/Cicelypg.html but always
premiered here at alt.tv.buffy-v-slayer.creative…

Part III…

At Dr. Killey’s and Giles’ urging the happy reunion had moved to a
small conference room off the main floor of the conference area

“Listen, you bimbonic hunk of plastic” Buffy hissed

“Not any more” Botty smiled “Totally living flesh on a special
nutrient biofilmIt’s sorta like an artificial muscle membraneOf
course I’m titanium alloy in the skeleton”

“I don’t give a flying f if you’re pure diamond” Buffy glared

“The years have coarsened her...” Botty noted to Will

“Shut up!...”

“No” Botty replied coolly, gleam in the eye “I wouldn’t shut up for
William without good reason and full explanation whyGod knows I won’t
for you”

“William?...” Buffy turned to him

“I’m not her owner, Summers”

“Just of me heart, dearest” Botty grinnedFondly putting hand on
shoulder

“William?...Tell her to stop that” Buffy frowned...

“I’m not a bot either, BuffyNor a sex slave vampire”

“I didn’t say thatWilliam?...Did I ever say that?...” Buffy, a tad
sheepish now...Eyeing Botty’s delicate gloved hand on his shoulder...

Where mine oughta be...Dark look...

“Aren’t we supposed to be getting introduced in ten minutes..?” Botty
noted... “Come on, sweetheart...” gentle tug...

“Will?...” Buffy gasped...

“I do think we should discuss this later, people...” Dr. Killey
noted...

“Yeah, three literary careers at stake here, Buf...” Botty pointed
out... “Not to mention Will Jr.’s future...”

Hmmn...Buffy glared a moment at her twin...

“Give me that...” Buffy grabbed Will’s other arm...

“Ladies...I’m not a chicken’s wishbone, you know...” Will eyed one,
then the other...Each now with the same exact contented look on her
face as each held an arm...

“We’ll sort this out later...” Buffy noted... “Lets go...Get the
door...” she looked at Botty... Who frowned...

“The hell I will...Giles, get the door...” she insisted...Giles with
wry smile at Felix, opening door…

“Wait!...” Buffy stopped short...William groaning as the still-moving
Botty nearly yanked arm out of socket...

“Hey...” Botty glared... “Watch what you’re doing to my guy...”

“Who the hell’s Will, Jr?...” Buffy growled at Will...Who gave a
confused look... Uh...She gulped...Expression changing immediately to
something like despair... “You...” she eyed Botty who had head cocked
at her now, faint smile...

“You didn’t...” she shook her head... “Will?...”

“Adopted...” Botty cut in, kindly... “I only just got to him
myself...We haven’t even had sex yet...”

Phew...Buffy sighed...

“We did kiss though...” Botty grinned... “And God, was it hot...And
Will, you should know…I could do pregnancy…One upgrade I insisted on…
Though…We would need…”

Eyes Buffy who glares back…No way in hell, you…

“A donor…” Botty, innocent smile… “And it would be a lot easier with
me, Will…”

“You little…” Buffy…

“People, please...” Felix urged... “Larger matters…”

A temporary truce for the sake of the greater good of Literature,
Dawn’s college education, likewise Will Jr.’s, and three literary
careers…

Introduction and brief summary over, it was q-and-a time...

“Dr. Walthrop...” a middle-aged woman rose at his acknowledgement...

Dr...Both Buffies beamed involuntarily...

Great...William frowned a bit, catching the glow...A sodden title and
now I’m on the A-list, Summerswise...

“Do you maintain that this fictional memoir has some basis in
reality?...”

“Uh...Well...Of course there’s no such thing as a vampire...” he noted
hastily...

Giles sighing slightly with relief...

“But it does reflect some experiences from my own life...”

“Whatdaya mean, Spike?...” a tall geek in strange glasses, plaid
shirt, and high jeans rose... “You’re the most famous vamp since
Dracula...”

“Thanks...” Will smiled, faint laughter among the academic side...
“Nice to know I made the character so convincing...”

“But everybody knows about you and your soul quest...And how you laid
the Slayer and...”

“I think you’re taking Dr. Walthrop’s fiction a bit far...” Buffy
politely but grimly suggested...

“Yeah...Sit down and shut up...” Botty added...

“She’s just a bot...” the geek fumed... “She can’t speak to me
like...” He paused as Botty came down toward him… “Unless, you
switched…” he eyed Buffy…Who frowned…

“I said...” Botty hissed, suddenly next to him now... “Sit down and
zip it...We can do the freak show later if you’re a good boy...”

Part of the audience tittered at the obvious bit with a planted
heckler...Not to mention the neat mirror trick to get one of the twins
to the guy and back on the platform in a millisecond…

That Killey...Anything to push a trashy pop novel...But all in the
greater cause of supporting good literature...

“Ms....Summers...?” a hand...

“Yes...” In unison...

“I mean...” the questioner, a young, dark-haired student type eyed the
book in hand... “Ms. Buffy R...?”

“Yeah...?” Botty beamed...Buffy frowning...

“The R is short for Rebecca, you know...” she smiled...Wink...

Appreciative titter...

Rebecca?...William thought…

Well, does get the R in…

“You two are twin sisters...?” the man continued... “Ms. Summers?...”
he eyed Buffy...Who was trying to stifle a glare at the robot...

Buffy muffled a groan...Buffy Rebecca nudging her...For the greater
good…For Will’s career at least...?

“Yeah...” curt nod...

“Yet you wrote two different fictional memoirs...?”

“What can I say?...Two books, twice the cash...” Buffy Rebecca
grinned...

Chuckles...Felix smiling appreciatively...That’s the stuff, girl...

“Though we did want to approach our subject from a few different
perspectives...The Slayer choosing duty over love...The vampire turned
tragic souled hero...The tragic robot heroine...”

Buffy, blinking...Hey...

“The Slayer of course, a tragic heroine as well...” Will cut in,
gallantly...

Buffy Rebecca in her turn now frowning...Buffy, first beam of the
evening...

Aw, William...shy smile…

“How come...?” a large woman in print dress rose...

Sorry...She glanced at the attendant bringing her the floor
microphone...

“How come there’s nothing about Willow?...Or the other girl...?”

“Excuse me?...” William asked, politely...

“Could we hold off on genre questions till the meeting later?...”
Felix stepping forward, suggested... “I think right we now we want to
stick to questions about the works themselves...”

“But if Buffy slept with...” the woman began...

“I agree with Dr. Killey...” Buffy, hastily...Buffy Rebecca rolling
eyes, avoiding Will’s stare... “Lets save those questions for later,
shall we...?”

“Vamp...” Buffy Rebecca hissed... Casting a stern, dark look at the
large vampiress who blinked, then quickly sat down...

Yeah, you better zip it, lady…Buffy added frown…

“Any way...” William continued... “As Ms. Summers noted, we present
the characters and their dark world from three different
angles...Which...” he pondered a moment... “When you think about
it...Isn’t a bad way to handle it...”

Buffy Rebecca smiling at him...Aw, Will...

“Bit derivative, isn’t it?...” a dark-haired woman in glasses rose...
“I mean, I enjoyed the memoir of the male vampire and his dark
struggle but the two women...” she shrugged...

I bet you did...Buffy, Buffy Rebecca...Grimly...

“As a writer on similar matters...” the woman continued... “I find the
idea of denying the male vamp his nature to be rather
conventional...This ‘Spike’ should express his dark sexual nature
without restraint…Let the vampire be the vampire…”

“Anne...” Felix shook his head... “You don’t have a lock on these
things...”

“Some women like to read about female heroines...” Buffy noted...
“Especially when they save the guy...” Buffy Rebecca cut in...

“I thought he saved himself...” the woman noted...

“Definitely…But we…Our characters…Were essential in setting him on the
path…Besides, the story’s not over yet...” Buffy Rebecca smiled...

“Yeah...” Buffy, darkly..

.

“What was that crack that guy made about my grammar...?” Buffy frowned
as she nibbled at a piece of cheese on her plate...

“He said he thought you used too many adverbs...” Buffy Rebecca
noted...“So did I but my galley editor program caught it...”

“Will, can we go and talk?...” Buffy turned to him...William sighing,
gulping his fifth glass of wine...

“Yeah, lets...We done our duty here…” Buffy Rebecca,
eagerly...Innocent look at Buffy’s frown...

“I said...We...Meaning us two...” Buffy, firmly...

“I could bat my eyes the ole way, smile brightly, and say ‘duh...Sure,
sis...Lets go...’ but lets do this the easy way...I was here first,
Buffy...” Buffy Rebecca, coldly... “And where he goes tonight, I
go...”

“I mean...Unless...You want me to go, Will...?” she asked...Pitiful
look...

“Hah!...” Buffy, arch look... “I’d never go...See, Will...She’s a
doormat...”

“You really think I was gonna go, idiot?...” Buffy Rebecca, arch look
back...

All the times Spike dreamed of something like this...William thought,
shaking head...If only he’d known the potential horror of it...

“Will…Come on…” Buffy urged… “She had some time with you…”

“Fifteen minutes?...” Buffy Rebecca glared… “After years of rebuilding
myself while trying to find him?...What were you doing all this
time?...”

“Anything wrong, Walthrop?…” Felix had come over, noting Will’s edging
toward the main door and escape…

“I think I’m going to be heading home…” Will noted…

“Now, now…The evening’s just getting started…Lets go meet a few people
who could do the department some good…” Felix urged… “By the way be
nice to the overweight fellow who was asking about Spike…He’s a
computer guru with over two hundred million in the bank…Rupert?...I
want to introduce you and Walthrop to one of our benefactors who has a
keen interest in your careers…” he led a reluctant Will and even more
reluctant Giles to the buffet table where the said benefactor waited
eagerly…

“God, who let you in here, anyway?...” Buffy fumed… “How did she get a
book published here?...She’s a glorified inflatable sex doll…You
published her book?...” she turned on Dr. Killey who’d come over after
leaving Walthrop and Giles trapped, hoping to bring the ladies along
as well…He sighed…

“Miss Summers…Miss Summers did do the Council and Humanity valuable
service when you were incapacitated…”

“Six feet under incapacitated…” Buffy Rebecca grinned…Glancing over to
where William was signing the computer guru’s copy of his book…And
frowned as the woman who urged William to let the vampire in him, err…
His character…Express his nature came over to him…

Stick with your own vamp sex fantasy, lady, she thought darkly as the
woman engaged Will in talk, hand on his arm…

“And she was granted legal status as a human being last year…” Felix
continued…

“What?...” Buffy blinked…Glancing over at William as well…Frowning
with same expression at the authoress eagerly expressing her views…And
as much cleveage as possible…To him…

Phew…He was returning…Apparently relieved to escape…

“By our home state of California…Wanna see my paper?...” Buffy Rebecca
smiled… “Signed by Governor Schickelgruber and everything…” she pulled
a sheet from her purse, handing to William…Ah, very nice…He nodded,
politely…

“Angel and I have ones just like it…”

“Please…California would grant legal status to a turnip…” Buffy
groused…

“Be that as it may…We felt obligated to assist her in her
regeneration…” Felix, nod to Buffy Rebecca… “Myself especially, given
that one of the people she saved during her time as Slayer was my
daughter…” stern look at Buffy…

“Don’t mention it, Doc…” Buffy Rebecca, warm beam… “All in a Slayer’s
day’s work…”

“She’s no Slayer…” Buffy fumed…

“I beg your pardon…” Buffy Rebecca glared… “I am listed in the Council
annals…”

“Giles?!...” Buffy stared… “That’s a lie, right?...”

“Hey…” Botty…

Ummn…Giles coughed slightly… “Well, you see, Buffy…In the interests of
historical accuracy only…”

“Hah…” Botty, archly… “But I did request a change from “the Buffybot”
to “Buffy Rebecca Summers…”

“Over my dead again body!…” Buffy raged..

“It’s my legal name…” Buffy Rebecca, proudly…

“See…?” she pointed to the cover of her memoir… “A Bot’s Odyssey…”

“WaitAre you saying the Council paid for her repairs?...” Buffy
looked at Felix

“Well, in a manner of”

“Great, then GilesYou’re her ownerTell her” Buffy began

“Hey” Buffy Rebecca, staring “Nobody owns me, you trogolodyke”

“What did you call me?...” Buffy, mouth open

“Your little fling’s all over the Net, Summers” Buffy Rebecca smiled,
archly “Guess your little sex partner was dying to go viral”

“She what?...II” Buffy looked at William, carefully non commitalNot
that there’s anything wrong withExpression on his face “I was
experimenting”

“Tryin’ to see if you could have a relationship where you didn’t beat
or kill your lover?...” Buffy Rebecca, sweetly “GreatSo just say,
‘gay now’ and stop bothering us”

“I’m gonna tear your arms offAgain!” Buffy cried

“Don’t let her hurt me, Will!”

“Buffy, this isn’t going to solve anythingAnd you, girlStop with the
cracks”

“Only for you, Will” Buffy Rebecca Grimace at her twin

“You get outta hereLook, Will” Buffy, anxiously “I can explain
about the lesbian sex thing”

“Yeah, it does explain a lot” Buffy Rebecca, grinning

“Girl”

“Don’t call her that” Buffy, pouting “That’s what you used to call
me”

“Ladies, will you please…?” Will tried…

“Spike may have abused me for sexNot WilliamYou meanwhile used me
for your killing machineAnd God knows what was done to me when I was
deactivated”

“What?...” Buffy fumed

“I mean given your weird sexual drivesAfter all, Will was possessed
by an evil demon, what’s your excuse?... ‘I was just back from the
dead and don’t remember a thing?’...”

“What?...What?...” Buffy sputtered “Spike?!...Are you gonna let her
get away with that?...”
Buffy, furious glance to Will

“Me?...” he stared “Suddenly after all these years, I’m supposed to
defend your honor?...By the way my name’s William”

“Spike’s in Hell if you care to go find him” Buffy Rebecca noted “Be
glad to show you the way”

“You hunka junk!!...” Buffy fumed… “Will, she’s a vibrator with a
soundtrack…”

“Oh, yeah?…Well, this ‘vibrator’s’ a lot more human than a girl who
beats her helpless lover and leaves his resouled self alone in a
basement…”

“Will?...You tole her?...” Buffy stared… “You know there were issues…”

“He didn’t have to, you’re all over the Net, slamming him around when
you think no one’s watchin’…”

Buffy gasped…Several of the crowd watching exchanging nods…

“There were issues…That year…” she repeated…Mumbling…

“Will, you know there were issues…”

“And I’ve never been unfaithful…Have I, Will?...” Buffy Rebecca,
archly…

“Un..?” Buffy stared…Fierce glare forming… “Un…?”

“Of course I coulda claimed ‘widow’ status when we thought you were
gone…But…There’s never been anyone else for me at least…”

“It’s not true…In my heart…” Buffy pleaded…Glaring again at her twin…
“You little…Is this your idea of fair?...”

“In love and war, sure…” Buffy Rebecca, solemnly… “And this is both,
babe…”

William put hand to forehead…

“You little tramp!...I’m going to smash every circuit board in your
sexbot body!!...”

“Don’t let her hurt me, Will!!...” Buffy Rebecca, backing off… Taking
advantage of the sit to put arm around him while slipping behind him…

Though…Hey… “Tramp?...” she stepped forward, rage on face… “This from
invisible slut girl?...”

No doubt that’s on the Net as well…Will sighed…Well, parental controls
stay firmly locked till Will Jr. hits twenty-one at least…
“Get out from behind my boyfriend and fight like a miserable excuse
for a Slayer, you…!!” Buffy raged…

“Ladies…Not here…” Giles tried…

“…Barbie doll!...” Buffy shouted…

“I’ve more heart in my titanium diode timer than you ever had, ice
princess!...” Buffy Rebecca replied…Stepping forward…

“…And your book sucks…” she thrust… “Anyone would think Willow,
Xander, Angel, and Will did nothing but stand around and applaud you…”

“William…?” Buffy stared at him… “You don’t really think…” she
suddenly burst into tears…

He put head in hands…All I wanted was a little stroke of the ego
tonight…A few positive comments on the work…

“Ms. Summers…Ms. Summers…” Felix sighed…

“You…” Buffy focused on him now, tears drying rapidly… “You brought
her here deliberately…Just to humiliate me…You said if I let you
publish that memoir he might see and…All the time you knew exactly
where he was…”

“Now, Ms. Summers…” Felix shook his head… “He did come…”

“Humiliate you?...” Buffy Rebecca frowned… “All you been doin’ is
bringing up my past in the rudest way possible…Need I remind you that
like my Will, I was an innocent victim…Sorta sired you might say by
Spike and Warren Mears…And like my Will, I escaped my fate with no
help from a certain Slayer…”

“Your Will…?” Buffy sputtered…

“Don’t remember you going to any trouble for him…” archly… “I won a
soul for him…”

“I cut a deal with the Immortal and betrayed…” Buffy began…

Ummn…Eyeing the startled Giles, William…Felix busy glad-handedly
keeping the puzzled audience at bay and out of the room…Our authors
will be out to start signing in just a mo…

“Well, not exactly…Betrayed…Ummn…Giles, you did insist Angel had gone
Evil…” Buffy, nervously…

“His Benevolence said he could help you…” she turned to Will… “All I
had to do was not try to reach Angel and interfere with the Partners’
plans for him…Hey…I mean Giles thought he was going Evil…”

“You trusted the Immortal?...” Buffy Rebecca shook her head… “Why
didn’t you go straight to LA and make sure of things?...”

“He said the deal was off if I went to LA…” Buffy sighed… “Will…When I
heard he’d tricked me and you and Angel were fighting the Partners…I
went nuts…I even threatened Kennedy if Willow didn’t get me to LA…But
it was too late…”

“Buffy?...” Giles stared…

“What?...You never even told me he was alive…Well, Undead again…Sides,
I was only following your orders…”

“I woulda gone straight to LA…” Buffy Rebecca cut in… “What, were you
still afraid Will’ll take it as a commitment?...”

“And then you disappeared…” Buffy sighed… “And I knew you wouldn’t
come lookin’ for me…And I did go to LA but you were gone and Angel
wouldn’t tell me where…”

That two weeks I spent in Italy with Dawn…She noted to Giles…I just
read a tourist guide and swore her to secrecy…

“He said you’d moved on just like Andrew said I had…” Buffy, tearing
up now… “God, I coulda ripped Andy’s head off his shoulders for that…
And you, Giles…You and your imposter Buffy…” she fumed at the
Chairman…

“Buffy, it was for your own…”

“At least I managed to wipe that smirk off the Immortal’s face before
I made him the …Mortal…When I ran him to the ground…Literally…”

“Buffy?...You said he attacked you after finding out about our
deception…” Giles, blinking…

“Same difference…Anyway he had it comin’…Will, I did it all for you…
I’m sorry I wasn’t in LA when you came back…But you coulda come to
me…”

“Sounds to me like you just wanted another notch on your belt, an
Immortal one…” Buffy Rebecca frowned… “Will, I’d’ve never wasted time
with that stuff…I don’t give a hoot about my superheroine rep…”

“What?..” Buffy fumed… “Will?!...”

“Will!!...” Buffy Rebecca, in unison…

“ArgghFine, fineFine!!!...” bang of fist on wallThe Buffies, h and
r staring “You ladies have a good time, I’m going home to my boyIt
was a very” he sighed, shrugged, despairing wave of hand “Catch you
in my next tortuous and miserable existence” he headed off

Buffy looked at Buffy RebeccaBuffy Rebecca, Buffy

“Where’s he going?...Will?!!...” in unison

“Avant, begone!Get off my back!...Both of you” he waved a hand at
them from the conference center front entranceA shocked group of
bibliophiles and horror voyeurs blinking at him

“Is that William the Bloody?...” an overweight fellow in a “Slayers
rock!!” asked his companion, a tall, fortyish, weedy fellow

“YeahHey, Spike!!...”

William stepped out the door, slamming violently

“Now that’s a Spike exit” the computer guru who’d gotten Will’s
autograph in “Spike and Dru Always” T shirt nodded to a distinguished
looking bearded man in tweed

“You from the Council?...” he asked

“I’m Chairman of the English” the chairman of nearby Amherst
College’s distinguished English department began

“Hey, the Chairman of the Council’s here!!!...” the heavy set man
cried

“He doesn’t look like Rupert Giles” one fellow in T shirt with Buffy
image plastered across shirt front shook head “I thought that guy was
Giles…” he pointed Giles’ way…

“You” Buffy glared at Buffy “YouAnd your bright ideas”

“Got him riled, didn’t we?...” Buffy Rebecca noted, smiling

“What?...” Giles eyed the two “Do you mean this was all?”

“Don’t, Rupert” Buffy glared “I’ve been controlling my temper this
past year with you but don’tNot now”

“We found about Cicely, Giles” Buffy Rebecca explained “Buffy was
even madder than I was that you lied to her but when Felix helped me
get into the archives and I kinda bumped into her, I managed to
persuade her you meant well…In a way…”

“Where does he live now?” Buffy asked Felix “And that’s as in ‘you
damned well better tell me now’” she handled him a copy of her
memoir…

“Buffy, Felix has been helpingFelix?...” Buffy Rebecca askedHe
sighed and wrote on the memoir’s inner back cover…

“Felix?...” Giles looked at the Watcher/professor “Have you been
involved…?”

“Tell him, FelixWe’ve got to go” Buffy Rebecca called, hurrying
after Buffy

“Buffy!!...You promised to keep this fair!” she called “Wait for
me!!!”

“Buffy?!!!...” a cry from about a third of the crowd at doorLooking
their way

“Get a life, clown!...” Buffy fumed at the computer guy bearing down
on her, autograph book in hand

“Buffy, wait up!...Don’t mind her, she’s had a hard day” Buffy
Rebecca noted, gently taking book “Who do I?”

“Jonathan LevinsonI had my name legally changed” the man explained

“A very good choice” she noddedLooking where Buffy had just thrown
the doors back
“Gotta go, enjoy the partyHey, Buffy!!...Wait!!!...” she hurried off

“Felix” Giles, grimly

“It was either help them or see all my surviving friends on the
Council, including you, hung from lampposts by your own Miss
SummersPlus it was such an opportunity for the department”

“But they’ve been…”

“They weren’t sure which soul was more Cicely…” Felix shrugged… “They
agreed between themselves to leave it to him…Though they have an
agreement…”

“Police!!!...” a well dressed man burst into the hall “A blonde woman
in a Lexus just hit my car and drove off!!!”

So much for my new car…Giles sighed…

“Police!!!...” a scruffy looking fellow followed in “A blonde woman
in a Prius just hit my truck and drove off!!!...”

“Inform the police” Felix noted to a young receptionist “And the
local TV news and press”

“Felix!!...” Giles fumed

“Say, Killey” the English department chairman from AC had come over

“Was that really the Slayer and Spike’s sex bot?...”

***