Lost Episodes of the Brady Bunch
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Saggie's thousands upon thousands of old video tapes and TIVO
recordings all titiled "Lost Episodes of the Brady Bunch." There are
so many! Hard to even know where to begin.
Started watching one today. It was a hoot. The family was in
Hawaii. Saggie commented there were many lost episods filmed here
that haven't been shown for years. The children were very bored.
Evidently, it was after the evil Vincent Price had tried to molest the
boys, but before the Bradys went back to LA. Mike, Carol and Alice
had gone out to the gay bar for cocktails (and Mike for cock), The
kids were locked in the room upstairs. Marcia had this great idea to
see who could make the longest BM (bowel movement). The kids all hung
their bottoms over the edge of the balcony. Mike's company had been
too cheap to buy the children rooms facing the ocean, so their room
was smack over the entrance to the Sheraton.
Jan decided it would be fun if all 6 Brady kids started their BM's
(bowel movements) at once. On the count of three, the children all
pushed. Well, it was quite a site. Marcia, of course, started with
a long rope of BM (bowel movement), and Cindy made her usual tiny
string of BM (bowel movement). The BM's (bowel movements) just
started hanging there, ready to snap off at any moment.
Mike, Carol and Alice were returning back to the hotel. Mike and
Carol decided they wanted to go to the ABC Store to get some snacks
and cheap Hawaiian shirts, so they pushed Alice out of the car as they
drove by the Sheraton. All of the sudden, once of those tropical
downpours started - you know the kind Honolulu is famous for. Alice
loved the rain against her wrinkled up skin. She was getting soaked.
As she walked toward the hotel entrance, she opened her mouth wide to
capture the rain.
Unfortunately, for Alice, that wasn't all she captured. At that very
moment, in spite of incredible odds, all 6 of the children's BM's
(bowel movements) broke off their rectums, and plumeted down towards
the entrance of the hotel. As Alice tilted her head back, she ended
up with 6 BM (bowel movement) spears in her mouth! It was a riot. I
have never heard the laugh track so intense on one of these shows!
She moved her head forward, spit out the BM's (bowel movements) and
said "wow, the rain is really hard and dirty here!"
When she got to the room, all of the kids were cleaning up their
bottoms with towels, toilet papers and sheets. She immediatley knew
they had released BM's (bowel movements) over the railing. She began
to laugh, and said "you rotton kids!" Everyone laughed.
So, this was one of the episodes on tape. It was very funny.
Here is a little science you may not have known about. All of the
children's BM's (bowel movements) broke off at the same time because
of the heavy humidity right before the Hawaii rain. This is called
simultaneous bowel movement break off syndrome (SBMBOS), and only
happens in tropical climates. Imagine that.
I feel so warm and welcome to this group. Hope you don't mind
learning a little bit about the science behind BM's (bowel
movements). I feel, as the BM (Bowel Movement) Lady, and the world's
leading authority about BM's (bowel movements), that I shoudl educate
and inform you all about what goes into BM's (bowel movements).
I love all of you so much. Thanks for making me feel at home after
Saggie's untimely death. She is with me, and sends her love. It's
like we've been sharing the same body all of my life, you know?
Love you Kings and Derek so much. You are the farts behind my BM's
(bowel movements).
BTW - who is someone named Steve?
Love you all!
The BM (Bowel Movement) Lady
Kingsfan13
do, however, still miss my sweet Saggie and I still hold out hope that
she will resurrect from the grave. BM (bowel movement) transfusion is
a powerful thing and can work magic.
I remember that episode well. Unfortunately, I think that Sags may
have taped the syndicated version instead of the ABC Network version.
One scene that you left out was at the end when Mike and Carol were
coming back to the Sheraton Waikiki (with their arms full of all kinds
of cheap crap from the ABC Store, including Hawaiian shirts, plastic
flip flops, ivory butt plugs, enema syringes, and leather diapers for
Mike). Fragments of the BM (bowel movement) spears that the kids had
all released together were stuck on the sidewalk in front of the
hotel. Mike didn't see one of the slippery spears and stepped in it.
He, of course, slipped and fell down right on his well-used anus.
Mike fell so hard that he got a huge black and blue bruise surrounding
his expansive bunghole. The last scene showed Mike sitting in a large
ice bucket trying to get the swelling on his bunghole down. He then
lifts up his ass and shows everyone his brown flower. Everybody
laughs and laughs because Mike's brown flower is surrounded by a black
and blue ring making it look like a galaxy from many light years
away. Alice then remarks, "looks like Mr. Brady is from outer
space." Mike gives her a disgusted look and the closing music is
played. Wonderful family humor.
I love you and Derek (but not in a rump ranger/fudge packer way).
Kingsfan.
Derek Homsberg
Dear BM (bowel movement) Lady:
Steve is a little worm who tries to disrupt the important work of this
newsgroup in looking at Brady BMs (bowel movements.) It is believed that he
may have had something to do with the untimely demise of Saggie, who is now,
fortunately inhabiting your body.
Love you all. Although I do not wish to spoon with Kingsfan.
Derek
bm_...@live.com
Derek and Kings,
You two are so wonderful and gracious. Saggie loved you so much, and
I can see why. As the leading authority on BM's (bowel movements), I
the BM (Bowel Movement) Lady feel so touched and honored. I hope I
can now call you friends, just as Saggie did.
Saggie often felt something was very wrong with Steve. She felt he
was up to no good, and a complete slimeball. She felt that he may be
a chronic masturbator. She felt that he could not stop masturbating,
and would even masturbate in front of his mother. Saggie felt very
sorry for Steve. She felt that he never had a good BM (bowel
movement) as a child, and this was why he was the way he was. I hope
we never meet this no good chronic masturbator. Thanks for your
warning, Derek. You are a very sweet man, and would never be such a
nasty nasty boy like Steve.
Kings - thanks so much for telling me about the ABC version of the
Brady Bunch and their BM's (bowel movements) vs. the syndicated
version that eliminated some of the BM (bowel movement). Saggie said
she often only was able to watch the syndicated version, but would now
and then remember the classic ABC full version.
Kings - I'm am working through the thousands upon thousands of lost
episodes that Saggie left. Is it OK if I comment on what I see, and
then you can tell me if there was other parts or if we were indeed
watching the full version. I never would have known that Mike had an
anus problem on this lost eipsode if you hadn't come to the rescue.
My entire life would have been only half lived. How sad.
Kings and Derek, I love you so much. I know neither one of you want
to spoon each other, but what if we played 3 spoons in the spoon
drawer? I will be the middle spoon. I have 3 holes, so there is no
waiting!
Love to you all!
The BM (Bowel Movement) Lady and Saggie within me
Kingsfan13
of your dainty little holes to Derek and me brought a tear to each
eye. You truly do have Saggie inside of you because her generosity is
showing. She often would offer up all of her holes to Derek and me
without a second thought. Perhaps one day we can all meet and,
indeed, spoon. It would certainly be necessary for you to be in the
middle as neither Derek nor I are homos (fudge packers).
Please do go through all of Saggie's lost BB episodes and describe
them to us. To the extent that you were seeing a syndicated version
(as opposed to the ABC Network version), I will, of course, fill in
the holes (as Derek and I would like to do to you!!!).
Much love and easily passed BMs (bowel movements) to you, my sweet BM
(Bowel Movement) Lady.
Kingsfan.
Derek Homsberg
This must be the best newsgroup ever. If this keeps up, we're sure to win a
B'Emmie Award next year!
Love you both.
Derek
Steve Carras
such a pompous Shakes-perr-r-rr-rean ass,
and hire a guy with a Marcia size nose (vaudevillian Jimmy Durante),
who plays Jimmy Howard, now Schnozzola Brady. He reassures Marcia that
it's okay to have a big nose, and shows Carol and Jan a new vaudeville
gtrick, singing Inka a DInka, a Doo. Tiger puts on a doggie size
nosem, i.e.,a sock. Greg Brady tells folks about his VERY elderly,
wacky, raspy, Broadway dad. "An' He';s gotta million of them."
"If I were to be your bubmleebee, would you be my sweet honey bee"-Juno