[TRESS 99] To celebrate the anniversary of the last episode of Animaniacs -- no, that's not right -- well...to commemorate, let's say...here's the transcript

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ANIMANIACS TRANSCRIPTIONS --- EPISODE #99 11/99
=========================================


AN ANIMANIACS SPECIAL PRESENTATION


NEWSREEL OF THE STARS
---------------------
Animation: TOKYO MOVIE SHINSHA LTD.

ANNOUNCER: Dateline Hollywood, 1930. The Warner Brothers studio. Here at
the studio's new animation department, the artists toil endlessly
to come up with cartoon stars, ultimately creating three new
characters: the Warner Brothers and their sister Dot.
Y, W, D: Hello, Nurse!
ANNOUNCER: Unfortunately, the Warner kids were totally out of control.
Y, W, D: Boingy, boingy, boingy, boingy!
ANNOUNCER: The trio ran amuck throughout the studio...until their capture.
The Warners' films, which made absolutely no sense, were locked away
in the studio vault never to be released. As for the Warners
themselves, they were locked away in the studio water tower, also
never to be released. Publicly, the studio has disavowed any
knowledge of the Warners' existence to this very day...when the
Warners escaped.


MAIN TITLE
----------
Music: RICHARD STONE
Lyrics: TOM RUEGGER
Director: RICH ARONS
Animation: TOKYO MOVIE SHINSHA LTD.

It's time for Animaniacs!
And we're zany to the max.
So just sit back and relax,
You'll laugh till you collapse!
We're Animaniacs!

Come join the Warner Brothers, and the Warner sister Dot!
Just for fun we run around the Warner movie lot.
They lock us in the tower whenever we get caught!
But we break loose
And then vamoose
And now you know the plot!

We're Animaniacs!
Dot is cute, and Yakko yaks.
Wakko packs away the snacks,
While Bill Clinton plays the sax.
We're Animaniacs!

[Musical interlude]

Meet Pinky and the Brain, who want to rule the universe.
Goodfeathers flock together, Slappy whacks 'em with her purse.
Buttons chases Mindy, while Rita sings a verse.
The writers flipped,
We have no script,
Why bother to rehearse?

We're Animaniacs!
We have pay-or-play contracts.
We're zany to the max,
There's baloney in our slacks.
We're animan-i-
Totally insane-y,
Pinky and the Brainy!
Animaniacs!
Those are the facts!

THE SCORING SESSION
-------------------
Written by: NICK DuBOIS, KEVIN HOPPS, RANDY ROGEL, TOM RUEGGER
Directed by: MIKE MILO
Animation by: KOKO ENTERPRISES CO.


<Orchestra warming up>
{Mozart's Symphony #40}
[Door opens]
NEIVEL: Settle, people, settle. [Clears throat]
BIRDIE: [Clears throat]
Good morning. Your regular conductor, Richard Stone, is off having a
long deserved rest at Camarillo, so I, Neivel Nosenest, shall conduct
today's scoring session.
Before we begin, I have three rules which must be obeyed. Number one:
no one is to be late.
DOT: Sorry i'm late! Excuse me. Excuse me. Coming through. Sorry.
Oops. Watch out. Pardon me. So sorry.
NEIVEL: <Growls>
DOT: Oh, don't mind me. Just go right ahead.
NEIVEL: [Clears throat] Rule number 2: never interrupt me wh--
[Door opens]
YAKKO: Sorry to interrupt, but does anybody know where I'm sitting?
NEIVEL: Rrrrr. There!
YAKKO: Thanks. Nice tie. Yard sale?
NEIVEL: Rule number 3: musicians will arrive with their instruments tuned
and prepared to play.
[Door opens]
WAKKO: Hi! Do you happen to know if there's a recording session today?
NEIVEL: Yes! There is a recording session today.
WKAKO: Oh. Well, I left my sheet music in the watertower. Do you have an
extra copy I can borrow?
NEIVEL: Just take your seat! There's music on the stands!
WAKKO: Thanks. Say, where's Richard?
NEIVEL: As I already explained, he's out today. I am the guest conductor
Neivel Nosenest.
Y & D: Neivel Nosenest! Neivel Nosenest! [Snickering]
DOT: How do you get a name like 'Nosenest'?
[The little blue bird of paradise flies up his nose] Forget I asked.
Y & W: Eew! Ewww!!

NEIVEL: All right, people. Please turn to the first piece of music.
{Coming through the Rye}
WAKKO: [Gulping his lunch] <Belch> [Pulls out chicken legs] Drumsticks.
{Mozart's Symphony #40}
NEIVEL: People, settle. The cartoon we're scoring today is called "Lights,
Camera, Traction". And in this scene, I need you to arpeggiate the
chords into the modulation and accelerando out of the first movement.
RALPH: Duuh, whadda that mean?
YAKKO: It means play it like cartoon music, Ralph.
PLAYERS:Oh, yes. I see.
PINKY: Narf!
NEIVEL: Here we go. And 1, 2, 3, 4...
{Morning from Peer Gynt}
DOT: Hold it!
NEIVEL: What?
DOT: Yes, I have a question. On page 3, bar 2, measure 41. I have a
B-flat. Did you mean to write a B-flat?
SNS: I have an A-sharp.
RUNT: Yeah, I have a G-flat. Definitely a G-flat.
RALPH: Aah, I think mine is an M.
[Everyone talking]
NEIVEL: Quiet! Of course it's a B-flat. See? B-flat. It's supposed to be
a B-flat.
DOT: That's what I thought. Fine. If that's what you want, a B-flat it
is.
NEIVEL: Rrrrrgh. Let's move on, shall we?

{Warners' theme}
WAKKO: <Gong!>
NEIVEL: Give me that! [Grabs mallet] What does it say here? It says
piano. Piano means soft. You're supposed to play piano.
YAKKO: Riiight! [Plays jazz intro]
[Everyone joins in]
NEIVEL: No, no, no. That's all wrong. Stop it! Stop it at once, I say! I
said stop!
Let's pick it up from 1-M-3, bar 22: the violin solo. Violinists? The
next part is very cartoony, so I need you to purposely play this
section badly.
DOT: Well, you've come to the right place.
WAKKO: Can we play badly, too?
YAKKO: We won't let you down!
NEIVEL: No. Bar 22. And 1, 2, 3, and...
WALTER: Eh, it wasn't like this back in the good old days at the
philharmonic. We played real music, not this noise.
{Warners' theme}
[Notes fly around the room. Wakko takes after them with a fly-swatter]
DOT: Oh, come on. This is unplayable!
NEIVEL: Oh! Aagh! Get these things away from me! {Flight of the Bumblebee}
YAKKO: Stand back! We'll take care of this.
WAKKO: Bad notes! Bad, bad notes!
YAKKO: There! Our job here is done.
DOT: Congratulations.
YAKKO: Thank you. And a special thanks to all the little quarter notes
that made this possible.

NEIVEL: All right! That does it! How can I conduct when you three are
driving me crazy?
Y,W,D: We'll show you how!
YAKKO: I think it should go, @@@@@h...something like this.
{Animaniacs Theme}
NEIVEL: Stop it right now!
DOT: Yeah. It's my turn! {Alphabet Song}
NEIVEL: This is not the right music.
WAKKO: How about this? [Grabbing baton] {That Farm Song}
NEIVEL: Give me that! {Warners' theme} Yes. Like this. Better. Very
nice. Huh? [Wakko pops out of his sleeve and swipes the baton] Come
back here with that!
{Iris out!}
DOT: Nice job there, Neivel.
WAKKO: Faboo.
[Everyone applauds]
TECH: It sounded great, Mr., uh, Nosenest.
NEIVEL: Thank you. It did go rather well, didn't it?
TECH: Absolutely. And we're ready to record any time you are.
NEIVEL: Huh? You mean you didn't record what we just did?
TECH: No. We were just setting the levels.
NEIVEL: Oooooogh! Oh, all right. Places, everybody.
YAKKO: Union break.
{Aloha}
NEIVEL: No, wait! Please come back! [Laughing maniacally]
{Mozart's Symphony #40}
YAKKO: You know, that's the fifth conductor we've lost this week.
{Warners' theme}


STAR WARNERS
------------
Written by: LIZ HOLZMAN, CHARLES M. HOWELL IV, TOM RUEGGER
Directed by: NELSON RECINOS
Animation by: WANG FILM PRODUCTIONS CO.

EPISODE LXV: "A NEW ZORT"

They're Pinky and the Brain,
Yes, Pinky and the Brain!
One is a genius, the other's insane.
They've entered in a race
To conquer outer space.
They're dinky,
They're Pinky and the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain!


PESTO: Hey, them rebels don't give us no respect, Bobby. Know what I mean?
BOBBY: No respect at all.
SQUIT: What do ya expect, Pesto? We blasted 'em first.
PESTO: We did not! Bobby, did we blast them first?
BOBBY: A little bit. Yeah, maybe just a little bit.
SQUIT: See? I told ya.
PESTO: Oh. You told me? Is that right? Well, let me tell you somethin'.
Let me tell ya this! And let me tell ya that! And how do ya like
that?! And let me tell ya this!
NURSE: Make way for Girth Plotz.
SQUIT: Hey...
PESTO: Cheese it!
BOBBY: The boss!
[Plotz enters, wheezing and coughing]

DOT: [Whispering] ... All right! Who took the last diet root beer?!
BRAIN: I told you, I am not a refrigerator. I am a laboratory robot
engaged in an intricate scheme of galactic domination.
DOT: Stupid machine! You ate all my change! Now vamoose!
PLOTZ: You there! What are you doing? [Dot gasps and flees] Stop her!

PINKY: Did you have a nice chat with the funny-hair lady, Brain-2-Me-2?
BRAIN: Yes, 3-Pinky-o. And do you know what's on the disk she just gave me?
PINKY: Another free introductory offer to America On-line?
BRAIN: Not even close. Observe, Pinky-o.
She gave us the plans to Girth Plotz' ultimate weapon -- the Megastar.
With it, I can conquer the galaxy!
PINKY: Oh, joy! We'll be ruled by a minifridge!
BRAIN: I am not a refrigerator.
{Someone's in the kitchen with Dinah}
PINKY: Oh. Then I'd better take out my leftovers before they spoil. Now,
where did I put that chicken chimichanga?
BRAIN: Stop it, 3-Pinky-o. That tickles! Ha ha ha! Cut it out! Hah!
[Bumps ignition switch] I have a bad feeling about this.
PINKY: Ooh, me, too. I just found an egg roll that's green and furry!


PLOTZ: [Wheezing] We meet again, Princess. {Parody of Darth Vader's theme}
DOT: That's Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana-Fana
Leiana Pile-Of-Origami...the Third. But you can call me Dot. Call me
Dottie, and you'll be taking your Tang intravenously!
PLOTZ: Enough! What are you doing here?
DOT: My five-year mission is to seek out new worlds, and make them cuter.
I bet you'd look cuter without the face mask. [Pulls off mask] So I
was wrong. Who knew?
PLOTZ: You stole the plans to the Megastar. Now, where are they?
DOT: I'll never tell!
PLOTZ: We'll see about that! Guards! Take her away!
SNS: General Plotz! An escape pod has just blasted off, and it's heading
towards the planet Ratatouille!
PLOTZ: So?
SNS: It's carrying Princess Dot's minifridge.
PLOTZ: Find me that fridge!

PINKY: Egad! I can't go on, Brain-2! I can't walk another step.
BRAIN: You've only gone three feet.
PINKY: Oh. Right you are. Troz! Never mind. Hoo hoo ha ha ha ha!
MINDY: Hello, funny vacuum-cleaner man.
BRAIN: I am not a vacuum-cleaner.
PINKY: Yes! He's a refrigerator.
BRAIN: No. I'm a robot stranded in the desert with his dimwitted sidekick.
PINKY: That would be me! Hoo hoo hoo ha ha ha ha!
MINDY: Ha ha ha! Funny vacuum-cleaner man.
BRAIN: Uh, perhaps you could direct us to the nearest space port, little
girl.
MINDY: Why?
BRAIN: Because we need to get to the Megastar.
MINDY: Why?
BRAIN: Because we're trying to take over the galaxy.
MINDY: Why?
BRAIN: Because with me in charge, it will be a better place.
MINDY: Why?
BRAIN: Because I'm really smart!
MINDY: Why?
BRAIN: Because I am! Now stop saying "why"!
MINDY: Why?
BRAIN: Because you're driving me crazy!
MINDY: Why?
BRAIN: Pinky-o, tell her to stop!
PINKY: Why? Hoo hoo ha ha ha ha! Narf!
BRAIN: Enough!
MINDY: Okkay. I love you. Buh-bye. [Zaps them]
BRAIN: Aaagh! Aaarghh! There is a pain that is going to tingle.

MINDY: Hi, Mr. Farmer-Man.
WAKKO: Hello, little nomad Nurse! I'm Wakk Skylicker.
MINDY: Whatcha doin'?
WAKKO: Farming sand. I've got a big crop this year. [Wind blowing]
MINDY: Ahhh...okkay. Wanna buy a funny vacuum-cleaner man?
WAKKO: No, thanks.
BRAIN: I am not a vacuum-cleaner.
WAKKO: But I'll buy a talking garbage can any day!
MINDY: Okkay. I love you. Buh-bye.
WAKKO: How do ya open the lid?
BRAIN: I assure you, I am not a garbage can. I am a robot on a vital
mission.
PROJECTION: Help me, Slappy Wanna Nappy. Please!
PINKY: Look, Brain-2. It's the Princess.
BRAIN: Ow! O-ow! O-ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
PROJECTION: Help me, Slappy Wanna Nappy. Please!
WAKKO: Hello, girl who looks just like my long-lost sister Nurse.
PINKY: Your sister is tiny and staticky?
WAKKO: No. She's just very, very cute.
BRAIN: Who is this Slappy Wanna Nappy?
WAKKO: It must be Hasbin Wanna Nappy, the old squirrel who lives out in the
desert. Maybe she can help me find my sister.
BRAIN: Maybe she can help me get to the Megastar.
PINKY: Maybe she can help me get a brain!
ALL: Oh, we're off to see the has-been,
The wonderful has-been named Slappy!
WAKKO: Are you sure we're in the right movie?

SLAPPY: All right, already, I'm comin'. What do ya want?
BRAIN: Are you Slappy Wanna Nappy?
SLAPPY: Who wants to know?
WAKKO: I'm Wakk Skylicker. My new talking garbage can has a message for
you.
SLAPPY: He looks more like a toaster oven to me.
BRAIN: [Sighing] May we come in and explain?
SLAPPY: As long as you promise to heat up my frozen waffles. I'm starvin'.
BRAIN: What I go through for galactic conquest...
PROJECTION: This minifridge contains the plans to the Megastar, Girth
Plotz's ultimate weapon of destruction. The Megastar must
be stopped! Help me, Slappy Wanna Nappy. Please! All
right! Who took the last diet root beer?!
WAKKO: She sounds like she's in trouble!
SLAPPY: With a plot line that lame, we're all in trouble.
Keep 'em comin' there, toaster-boy.
WAKKO: We have to get to the Megastar!
PINKY: Poit! But how?
BRAIN: We will need a ship and a pilot.
SLAPPY: I know where we can line up a pilot.
WAKKO: Well, then, let's roll!
SLAPPY: Sure, just as soon as somebody passes me the syrup.

PLOTZ: Now, Princess... Tell us where your fridge went with those plans!
DOT: Never!
SNS: I know just how to make her talk. Sergeant-Major Nurse!
DOT: <Gulp!>
PIP: How do? Name's Pip Pumphandle. You know, you meet the most
interesting people in outer space. Did I ever tell you about the time
I met Mr. Mark Hamill, star of stage, screen, and the occasional comic
book?
DOT: Noooo!

SLAPPY: The studio of Mos Eisner. You'll never find a more wretched hive of
scum and villainy. So be careful. We're goin' in without an agent.
{Freakazoid theme}
MARVIN: I have an Iridium Q-39 reactive modulator, which I'm going to use to
blow up the Earth.
MINERVA:I bet you use that line on all the girls.
BOGART: Hey, you! We don't allow your kind in here.
PINKY: You don't allow robots?
BOGART: No. We don't allow minibars.
BRAIN: I am not a minibar!
BOGART: So long, sweethearts!
SLAPPY: Ya get it? It's like the Lucy show, but with a squirrel.
ALIEN: Hey! Somethingsomethingsomethingwedonotwant!
#Don't call us, we'll call you!#
{Pinky & the Brain theme}
SLAPPY: Hey! You spoiled my pitch!
BRAIN: Your what?
SLAPPY: My pitch! I told ya I was tryin' to get us a pilot. <Rimshot>
BRAIN: Not a TV pilot! We need a pilot who can fly!
YAKKO: Did someone say 'pilot'?
BRAIN: Who are you?
YAKKO: Yakk Soho, space ace, reporting for duty. This is my copilot,
Chewbooboo.
BOO: Arrrrh...bok-kaw!
PINKY: His copilot's a chicken, I tell ya! A giant chicken!
YAKKO: Not if ya keep a nightlight turned on. <Rimshot>
Thank you. I'll be here through Tuesday.
BRAIN: Can you take us to the Megastar?
YAKKO: No problem.
BABS: Hello, handsome.
BRAIN: No, the Megastar of total destruction.
YAKKO: Oh, right. Sorry.
ARNIE: Chill out, fridge-boy.
ALL: Aaaagh! Aaaaaggh!
BRAIN: No! Girth Plotz's Megastar in outer space.
YAKKO: Oh, *that* Megastar. Sure, I can take ya!
BRAIN: Then please do so immediately.

RALPH: Duh, hey! There's that minifridge! Stop them!
YAKKO: Quick! To the Bicentennial Lemon!
We're gettin' creamed! Chewbooboo, get us outta here!
BRAIN: Just what kind of ship is this?
YAKKO: A pizza delivery transport.
BRAIN: Oh, great.
YAKKO: We deliver neutron-hot pizzas to your space port in under 30 parsecs
or your money back.
BOO: Bok-kaw.
YAKKO: So hold onto your anchovies. We're outta here!

PIP: Alpha Centauri's sort of a funny name, don't you think? I mean, not
ha-ha funny, but just sort of odd. Of course, alpha is the first
letter of the greek alphabet, and omega is the last letter, giving rise
to the phrase, "from the alpha to the omega."
DOT: Make him stop, I beg of you! I'll tell you anything. Just, please,
make him stop! [Crying]
PLOTZ: All right. She's had enough.
Now, where did that refrigerator go with those plans?
DOT: What plans?
PLOTZ: I'm tired of your stalling. Maybe this will persuade you to talk.
DOT: [Gasping] My home!
PLOTZ: Yes! The comedy planet. Where I'll put the Megastar to its first
test.
DOT: You're going to destroy my planet, wiping out millions of people?
PLOTZ: No. I'm going to screw up their TV reception!
DOT: <Gasp!> You...are...sick!

PLOTZ: Begin TV disruption.
TV: What's the deal with Pluto? Is it a dog, or is it a planet? I
gotta know! [Audience laughs]
ANNOUNCER: We interrupt Spacefeld to present Ken Burns' "History of
Paddleball" in 127 parts.
WOMAN: Dear Abner, your new game of paddle-the-ball is all the rage. I
think it may even replace the minuet.
ALIEN: It--it's on every channel!
PLANET: Nooooo! Make it stop!

SLAPPY: Hey, what's goin' on? Somethin' awful has happened.
PINKY: Narf! As though a million voices cried out in pain?
SLAPPY: Worse. Scooby Doo's been pre-empted by a documentary on paddleball.
WAKKO: It's the Megastar.
BRAIN: Yes!
SLAPPY: It's transmitting nothin' but deadly dull programmin'. Plotz is
beamin' this garbage everywhere.
YAKKO: And he's sucking the humor right out of the universe.
WAKKO: That monster! I'm going to stop him!
SLAPPY: Whoa, kiddo. There's only one way to overcome your Plotz problem.
WAKKO: How?
SLAPPY: With comedy.
WAKKO: What do you mean?
{Slappy's theme}
SLAPPY: If you're gonna save this galaxy, you'll need to study the schtick
with the ancient guru of gags, Skippoda.

SKIPPY: Easy is drama. Hard is comedy. Yes, yes.
WAKKO: But, Skippoda, what is comedy?
SKIPPY: All that is funny around us, it is. A better place it makes the
universe. Yes.
SLAPPY: Hurry it up, will ya, Skippy? We ain't got all day here.
SKIPPY: Cranky, she is. My aunt Slappy, she is.
WAKKO: Skippoda, I want to save my sister and defeat Girth Plotz!
SKIPPY: Do not just concentrate on Plotz. You need to work on the jokes.
WAKKO: What's this?
SKIPPY: Big mallet, it is. Big comedy prop.
WAKKO: Faboo! Is this how ya use it? Waagh! Ungh! Yagh!
SKIPPY: Swing hard you must to get the big laugh. Now try.
BRAIN: Oh, no! [Wakko swings at him]
Nooo! Ow! Ouch! Hey! Knock it off!
SLAPPY: Now that's comedy.
SKIPPY: Yes, feel the face. Be the face. Freeze the face. Gookie, it is.
SLAPPY: The face is strong in this one.
SKIPPY: Use the gookie. Defuse tense situations with humor. It works many
times. Control the funny face, and you can save the galaxy.
WAKKO: Thanks, Skippoda!
SKIPPY: May the face be with you.

CHAPTER THX: "THE POIT STRIKES BACK"

In a quick segue to lengthen the story,
Yakk Soho, Pinky-o, and Chewbooboo have been captured
by the junk-food giant, Flabby the Butt.


PINKY: Narf! I now present his Royal Bombosity, the ruler of all that is
edible, Flabby the Butt!
MINERVA:I gotta get a new agent.
YAKKO: Hey, quit shovin', will ya?
BOO: Bok-kaw! [gobbling]
FLAVIO: Soho, you are my captive!
YAKKO: Hey, flabby, nice chins. You look great. Have you lost weight?
FLAVIO: <Ptoui!>
YAKKO: Okkay, a little touchy about the weight thing. I understand.
FLAVIO: We had a deal, Soho!
YAKKO: Now, Flabby, I can explain.
FLAVIO: You promised to deliver a pizza to me--<slobber>...in 30 parsecs or
less.
YAKKO: Hey, come on, it was in the middle of a meteor shower.
FLAVIO: You failed, and now you die! <slobber>
YAKKO: Seems a bit harsh, don't ya think? Why not just cut back on the
tip?
FLAVIO: Throw them into the pit of fear! [Creatures howling]
BOO: [Feebly] Bok-kaw...
YAKKO: No, Flabby! Wait! I know it's late, but don't you still want your
pizza? [Flabio slobbers]
Neutron-hot, just the way ya like it!
FLAVIO: Ah...okkay.
YAKKO: You got it! [Shoots guards into pit]
GUARDS: Aaagh! Aaagh!
BALONEY:Ha ha ha ha ha! Will you be my special friends? Ha ha ha ha!
[Guards screaming]
YAKKO: Chewbooboo, don't forget. He wanted extra cheese!
[Flavio screams]
PINKY: Hoo-hah! Good show, Yakk Soho!
YAKKO: Hello, Interplanetary Nurse! ... Napkin?
To the Megastar!

{Pinky & the Brain theme}
BRAIN: This is it, Pinky-o, our moment of truth. Are you pondering what
I'm pondering?
PINKY: Um, I think so, Brain-2, but a show about two talking lab mice?
Hoo! It'll never get on the air.
BRAIN: No, Pinky-o. I have the plans to the Megastar. Once inside, we
will seize control and rule the galaxy!

YAKKO: We're heeerrre!
SNS: General Plotz, ve haf begun transmission of boring programming
throughout the cosmos.
PLOTZ: Good. The process of removing all humor from the universe is
underway!
SNS: Your stupefying evil will prevail.
PLOTZ: Let's hope so.

SLAPPY: You guys go ahead. There's something I have to do alone.
WAKKO: Are you going to face Girth Plotz in a one-on-one fight to the
death?
SLAPPY: Nah. I'm gonna use the little squirrels' room. Space travel really
rattles my raisins.

{Pinky & the Brain theme}
NURSE: Say, isn't that the minifridge general Plotz has been looking for?
SNS: Gee, I don't know. Zat looks more like a bread maker.
NURSE: Nononono. I have one of those. Maybe it's a crock pot. Or a space
heater.
SNS: No. It's, eh, uh...
BRAIN: A...floor polisher!
NURSE: Huh? Oh, sure! That's it.
SNS: Ja! You is a floor polisher.
PINKY: You are?
BRAIN: Yes! And...my colleague and I have been assigned to polish all the
floors in the Megastar!
SNS: Oh! Zat's nice.
BRAIN: And we'll start by cleaning the coffee-stained floors of the very
control room where Girth Plotz beams his programming to poor,
unsuspecting planets.
SNS: Ja! Zat's a good place to start. Okkay. Bye-bye. Have ze
funzies, now.
PINKY: And all this time, I thought we were robots. [Bop!] Guh!

WAKKO: Hi. We've come to rescue you!
DOT: My brother!
WAKKO: My sister!
YAKKO: My siblings!
WAKKO: My favorite martian!
DOT: My friend Flicka!
YAKKO: My left foot!
SNS: My, my, my! [The Warners run screaming]
{Slappy's theme}
SLAPPY: My, what a relief that's over.
Oof! Pardon me.
PLOTZ: Excuse me.
That voice. Slappy Wanna Nappy?
SLAPPY: Girth Plotz! I haven't seen you since you took my cartoons off the
air.
PLOTZ: Yes! Because they made no sense!
SLAPPY: No! Because you have no sense of humor!

{Pinky & the Brain theme}
BRAIN: The nerve center of the Megastar, Pinky-o. We made it!
PINKY: Egad, Brain-2! Look! These heavy-traffic areas are horribly
soiled. Zort! We'll never get them clean.
BRAIN: We are not here to polish floors, Pinky-o. My dream of galactic
rule is about to come true. Once I take control, the galaxy will bow
down on its knees before me!
PINKY: Oh, then we'll need to really work on these tough stains. No one
wants dirty knees!

PLOTZ: Grrrrrr! [Whaps Slappy]
WAKKO: Nooooo!
SLAPPY: Work it, kid. That's it. Go for the punch line.
WAKKO: Hey. I thought you just died!
SLAPPY: Nah. Dyin's too easy. It's comedy that's hard.

PINKY: All set, Brain-2.
BRAIN: Here we go. On 3...2...1...and...
TV: ...by 1911, paddleball had not yet reached Iceland--
BRAIN: Greetings.
ALIENS: Huh?
BRAIN: We interrupt this deadly dull program to bring you an important
message. I am Brain-2-Me-2, the new ruler of your galaxy.
ALIENS: Ohhh...

WAKKO: Now what do I do?
SKIPPY: Use the gookie. Defuse tense situations with humor. It works many
times.
PLOTZ: You've lost, Skylicker! The galaxy is mine!
[Wakko makes a gookie] What is with that face? It's ridiculous. S-stop
it. Stop it. No--no, really. It's the silliest thing i've ever seen!
It's nutty! Stop! Oh-ho! Sto--ha ha ha ha!
BRAIN: As your ruler, I will expect strict discipline and unwavering
loyalty from all of my subjects. What are you doing? I'm in the
middle of a broadcast!
ALIENS: Huh?
BRAIN: Go away, will you? That's highly annoying.
ALIEN: [Laughing] What's that guy doing?
BRAIN: Will you please cease this silliness?
ALIEN: [Laughing] It's hilarious.
ALIEN2: There's something funny on TV again!
ALIENS: We're saved!!
BRAIN: No, this is not a joke. Honestly, I'm--I'm in control. Ha ha ha
ha! I'm--I'm your new ruler-- ha ha ha ha! Really! [Laughing]
Ah-ha-haaaa...never mind.
[Everyone laughs and makes gookies]
SLAPPY: Ah, like music to my ears.
[Everyone on the planet laughing]
SKIPPY: Good is the laughter. Yes.

[Cheering]
Y & W: May the Nurse be with you!
BRAIN: Come, Pinky-o. We must catch the space shuttle back to our home
planet of Acme and prepare for the next millennium.
PINKY: Gee, Brain-2, what are we gonna do in the next millennium?
BRAIN: The same thing we do every millennium, Pinky-o. Try to take over
the galaxy!

3-Pinky,
3-Pinky and the Fridge, Fridge, Fridge, Fridge, Fridge!

BRAIN: I am not a refrigerator.
CHORUS: Da-da-da-dah!


Y & W: Hi. We're the Warner Brothers.
DOT: And the Warner sister.
YAKKO: And we'd like to invite you and all the members of your household...
DOT: To gather round the TV set and celebrate...
YAKKO: The first 99 episodes of Animaniacs.
WAKKO: And here's the good news, folks. It actually doesn't stink!

THE ANIMANIACS SUITE
--------------------
Edited by: AL BREITENBACH
Composed by: RICHARD STONE
Animation by: TMS, WANG, STARTOONS, AKOM

{Animaniacs Theme}
{Warners' Theme}
{Pinky & the Brain Theme}
{Mindy & Buttons Theme}
{Rita & Runt Theme}
{Goodfeathers' Theme}
{Slappy's Theme}
{Animaniacs Theme}

FILLER
------
Animation by: WANG FILM PRODUCTIONS CO.

{Morning from Peer Gynt}
BOBBY: Whoa. Look at that sunrise, huh?
PESTO: Unbelievable.
SQUIT: Magnificent.
BOBBY: Look at the way the light hits the mountains.
SQUIT: And the way it reflects off the trees.
PESTO: And smell that breeze coming down from the north. It's incredible!
SQUIT: You mean the west.
PESTO: What?
SQUIT: The breeze is coming out of the west.
PESTO: What are you, a bird brain? The breeze is coming from the ocean.
SQUIT: Yeah, and the ocean is west. The mountains are north!
PESTO: No, they're not. The ocean is north.
BOBBY: Who cares? North, south. It's a beautiful sunrise.
PESTO: Are you saying that i don't know my directions? That I'm some sort
of wrong-way Corrigan? I'm a misguided directionless gooney bird? Is
that what you're sayin'?
SQUIT: No. I'm just sayin' that the breeze is coming from the west! But
who cares? I mean, it's no big deal.
PESTO: Okkay, that's it!
BOBBY: Whoa! Guys, knock it off. What's the matter with you?


CREDITS
=======
A SPECIAL THANK YOU TO ALL THOSE WHO HAVE
CONTRIBUTED TO THE SUCCESS OF ANIMANIACS

Starring the Voices of
----------------------
Rob Paulsen..................as 3-Pinky-o
Maurice LaMarche..........as Brain-2-Me-2
Jess Harnell............as Wakk Skylicker
Tress MacNeille...........as Princess Dot
John Mariano.....................as Bobby
Chick Vennera....................as Pesto
Michael McKean.........as Neivel Nosenest
Frank Welker...............as Girth Plotz
Sherri Stoner.......as Slappy Wanna Nappy
Nathan Rugger.................as Skippoda
Nancy Cartwright.................as Mindy
Julie Brown...............as Minerva Mink
Ben Stein...............as Pip Pumphandle
Jeff Glen Bennett..............as Baloney
Neil Ross...............as Marvin Martian

Just Wait Until Episode #100!
--------------------------------
Just Wait! And Wait! And Wait!

---------------------------
Y,W,D: Good-byyyye, Nurse!
---------------------------


Copyright (C) 1998 Amblin Entertainment & Warner Bros. Animation.
November 14, 1999

Plato

unread,
Nov 15, 1999, 3:00:00 AM11/15/99
to
On Nov. 15, 1999, julia...@aol.com (Julian9EHP) wrote:

>I never have seen that last episode.
>Thanks for the transcript.

You're welcome! Now that I've spoiled the ending, it doesn't matter if
WB never shows it again!!!


um, yeah...

>ANIMANIACS TRANSCRIPTIONS --- EPISODE #99 11/99
>=========================================

>MAIN TITLE
>----------
>[Musical interlude]

Did I already mention this? That they fixed that scene-cut between
the Rita and Runt clip and the Warners zipping into their seats?
Well, they did. Very...obsessive of them.

>STAR WARNERS
>------------


>EPISODE LXV: "A NEW ZORT"

Oh, yeah......episode LXV, of course. Only took me a year to notice
that.

>They're Pinky and the Brain,
>Yes, Pinky and the Brain!
>One is a genius, the other's insane.
> They've entered in a race
> To conquer outer space.
>They're dinky,
> They're Pinky and the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain!

NIT: They aren't dinky at all, for once. In fact, apart from "Tokyo
Grows" and parts of "Brain meets Brawn", this is the largest they've
every been! And frankly, I just can't get my head around Pinky being
as tall as Yakko....

>FILLER
>------

Wrap-around! (Well, it was wrap-around left over from HFNH, right?)


> Just Wait Until Episode #100!
> --------------------------------
> Just Wait! And Wait! And Wait!


- David "waiting..." Green

Jade Kidds

unread,
Sep 12, 2021, 4:10:15 PM9/12/21
to
On Monday, November 15, 1999 at 12:00:00 AM UTC-8, Plato wrote:
> On Nov. 15, 1999, julia...@aol.com (Julian9EHP) wrote:
> >I never have seen that last episode.
> >Thanks for the transcript.
> You're welcome! Now that I've spoiled the ending, it doesn't matter if
> WB never shows it again!!!
>
> um, yeah...
> >ANIMANIACS TRANSCRIPTIONS --- EPISODE #99 11/99
> >=========================================
> >MAIN TITLE
> >----------
> >[Musical interlude]
> Did I already mention this? That they fixed that scene-cut between
> the Rita and Runt clip and the Warners zipping into their seats?
> Well, they did. Very...obsessive of them.
> >STAR WARNERS
> >------------
> >EPISODE LXV: "A NEW ZORT"
> Oh, yeah......episode LXV, of course. Only took me a year to notice
> that.
> >They're Pinky and the Brain,
> >Yes, Pinky and the Brain!
> >One is a genius, the other's insane.
> > They've entered in a race
> > To conquer outer space.
> >They're dinky,
> > They're Pinky and the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain!
> NIT: They aren't dinky at all, for once. In fact, apart from "Tokyo
> Grows" and parts of "Brain meets Brawn", this is the largest they've
> every been! And frankly, I just can't get my head around Pinky being
> as tall as Yakko....
> >FILLER
> >------
> Wrap-around! (Well, it was wrap-around left over from HFNH, right?)
> > Just Wait Until Episode #100!
> > --------------------------------
> > Just Wait! And Wait! And Wait!
> - David "waiting..." Green
May the Nurse be with You!
3-Pinky, 3-Pinky, 3-Pinky, 3-Pinky and the Fridge Fridge Fridge!
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