Apr 25, 2019, 4:45:28 AM4/25/19
ACME LABS—Two genetically enhanced laboratory mice, Pinky and the
Brain, announced Friday their 2020 presidential run.
The mice have been engineered to think and speak, though the
experimentation seems to have given at least one of the mice
"Humanity, bow before your new master as we ascend into the glorious
era of the rule of Brain!" Brain said in his announcement speech before
pressing a button on a device that he reportedly designed to control
the minds of anyone in the vicinity.
"Narf!" said Pinky to applause from the masses.
The two are running on the platform of "trying to take over the world."
While many have criticized this approach, others have praised Pinky and
the Brain's honesty, pointing out that "at least they're being
transparent about it," unlike other candidates who pretend to be
running for the good of the nation. Some have also suggested that Pinky
and the Brain will likely adjust well to Washington, D.C., being
According to analysts, their plot to win the White House is projected
to nearly succeed and then fail at the last possible moment after one
tiny but significant oversight.
Democrats (2016): We must believe the results of the Mueller investigation!
Democrats (2019): We don't believe the results of the Mueller investigation!