Man glues his wife's vagina shut, in TN
Joe1orbit
Hello,
Over in the glorious inventive state of Tennesssee, a grand jury is
deciding whether or not to bring criminal charges against a fellow named
Franklin James. Back in June, while Franklin's wife, Teresa, was asleep,
Franklin went to his handy toolbox, retrieved a bottle of Super Glue, and
carefully glued Teresa's vagina shut! Yup, Franklin shut that nasty hole
up real good! When police asked him why he did it, Franklin logically
replied that "She was cheating on me and I wanted to teach her a lesson".
Makes sense to me, especially in this society that places value upon a
ridiculous marriage ceremony and the "sacred" vows of fidelity that are
made during the course of the ceremony.
Doctors were apparently able to successfully open up Teresa's glued shut
vagina without any permanent damage resulting. Soon after the incident,
Teresa did take out a restraining order against Franklin. But there is
good news, the gluer and the gluee have apparently reconciled and are now
living together and planning to move to Notrth Carolina. Ain't love
grand?? You can glue a woman's vagina shut, and she still might very well
let you live with her and engage in copulatory activities, at some future
date.
That must have been quite a scene, when Teresa first woke up in the
morning and realized that her vagina was glued shut. I really wish that
Franklin had turned on a tape recorder and recorded every bit of dialouge
that occured that morning. But no such luck, unfortunately. I wonder
whether Teresa could walk with her glued vagina. Probably she could, but
I'd have to think that her gait was altered in some way.
Anyway, aren't you folks glad to have me scouring the news wires all day
long, on a beautiful Saturday?? How else would you all know about this
glued vagina case?? Thanks to my herculean efforts, you are the very first
person on your block, and perhaps in your neighborhood, to know about the
fact that a fellow in Tennessee glued his wife's vagina shut.
Take care, JOE
The following appears courtesy of today's United Press International
news wire:
Man accused of gluing wife
United Press International
Sat, 9 Aug 1997
NEWPORT, Tenn., Aug. 9 (UPI) -- A grand jury in Tennessee has been asked
to consider a sticky situation involving a man who glued shut his wife's
private parts.
Franklin James was scheduled to appear at a preliminary hearing Friday,
but he waived that right and his case was bound over to the grand jury.
James is charged with gluing his wife's vagina shut while she was
sleeping.
Police Detective Robert Caldwell says James told investigators he put
Super Glue on his wife because she ``was cheating on him and he wanted to
teach her a lesson.''
Teresa James says the incident occurred June 10 after she had taken two
pain pills for a headache before going to sleep. She says she discovered
what had happened the next morning.
Teresa James obtained a restraining order against her husband, but a
lawyer said Friday that the couple is living together again. Public
Defender Susan Thomas says the Jameses are planning to move to North
Carolina.
Golfing OJ
joe1...@aol.com (Joe1orbit)
<some snippage of a rather amusing post>
<< Anyway, aren't you folks glad to have me scouring the news wires all
day
long, on a beautiful Saturday?? How else would you all know about this
glued vagina case?? Thanks to my herculean efforts, you are the very first
person on your block, and perhaps in your neighborhood, to know about the
fact that a fellow in Tennessee glued his wife's vagina shut. >>
Yes Joe, I am indeed glad to have you scouring the news wires all day long
on a beautiful saturday. Thanks for THIS gem!
"I Want To Tell You"
--OJ
Golfing OJ
n...@ix.netcom.com (Nigel Chapman) writes:
>He must be pretty good with that super glue. It ain't easy to glue
>some ones genitals together without waking them.
Especially if your using a Glue Gun like Martha Stewart always advocates.
>Unfortunately I don't have any first hand experience in the matter but
>I do have some super glue, if there are any heavy sleepers reading.
Alan Gore
joe1...@aol.com (Joe1orbit) wrote:
> That must have been quite a scene, when Teresa first woke up in the
>morning and realized that her vagina was glued shut. I really wish that
The pool guy must have been REALLY surprised...
ag...@primenet.com | "Giving money and power to the government
Alan Gore | is like giving whiskey and car keys
Software For PC's | to teenaged boys" - P. J. O'Rourke
http://www.primenet.com/~agore
Stephen Pace
The article DID say she took two "pain pills" before she went to sleep.
They musta been strong ones. :>
Pilar Pace
As if I knew,...
Ya know,.. it just sorta figures this would have happened at some point.
Now, I have heard of a "hubby stitch" ( can ya add an extra stitch, Doc?)
after child birth, but this beats them all!
Watch out, Lorena Bobbit!!!!
Kris Baker
joe1...@aol.com (Joe1orbit) wrote:
(snip)
> Anyway, aren't you folks glad to have me scouring the news wires all
day
>long, on a beautiful Saturday?? How else would you all know about this
>glued vagina case?? Thanks to my herculean efforts, you are the very
first
>person on your block, and perhaps in your neighborhood, to know about
the
>fact that a fellow in Tennessee glued his wife's vagina shut.
Now I'm just trying to figure out how to schedule the next neighborhood
barbeque, where I can enthrall my guests with this story! Thanks Joe.
Kris
As if I knew,...
Ya know, Joe,.. its a good thing they reconsiled-
I mean, at the family reunion, they'd just be referred to as cousins, instead
of man and wife.
Biggrrl
Wait - I'm lost. Someone hot glued Martha Stewart's vagina shut?
Biggrrl
Biggrrl
Actually, Joe, I think I prefer my Martha Stewart story to the actual one
:-)
Biggrrl
GMSpider
In article <33F0F8...@pobox.com>, "K. Rasch" <kra...@pobox.com>
writes:
>LOL!!!! Too funny!!!!!
>
>
>
>Biggrrl wrote:
>>
>> Wait - I'm lost. Someone hot glued Martha Stewart's vagina shut?
>>
>> Biggrrl
>
>
I wish somebody would glue her mouth shut. She
actually makes a person want to do that dirty word.
....ssshhh, housework!
Grandmother Spider
Alan Gore
spo...@nmia.com (sport) wrote:
>Goodness, I must've missed the Martha Stewart article on glue-gunning
>female genitalia. The woman is more hip than I realized. Did she bead
>the labia in festive, Victorian Christmas colors? Would be an interesting
>cover for her famous Christmas issue, I admit.
Embellish with some creative piercings, and this could be a hip new
Gen X thing - "The Taliban Look", let's say.
Alan Gore
big...@aol.com (Biggrrl) wrote:
>Wait - I'm lost. Someone hot glued Martha Stewart's vagina shut?
Yes. Exactly why she's not talking much these days.
PattyC4303
In article <19970812213...@ladder01.news.aol.com>,
big...@aol.com (Biggrrl) writes:
>Wait - I'm lost. Someone hot glued Martha Stewart's vagina shut?
>
> Biggrrl
>
It is interesting here, isn't it??
Jill0704
In article <19970813051...@ladder01.news.aol.com>,
patty...@aol.com (PattyC4303) writes:
>In article <19970812213...@ladder01.news.aol.com>,
>big...@aol.com (Biggrrl) writes:
>
>>Wait - I'm lost. Someone hot glued Martha Stewart's vagina shut?
>>
>It is interesting here, isn't it??
>
Sure is. Just wait 'til Martha Stewart gets wind of *this*!
The other Jill