Have you seen Edward Blakley's penis? Kansas City police want to know
Slow Motion Apocalypse
Kansas City's worst pick-up artist is at it again. Kansas City police
say Edward Blakley is suspected of showing his one-eyed trouser snake
to three women in the past couple of weeks, and the cops are looking
for others who may have gotten a peek at his joystick.
Blakley, 27, is becoming a local urban legend. Last week, Blakley was
accused of intimidating a woman and filing a false police report to
try to get a 41-year-old woman's information. See, Blakley gave his
phone number to the woman in a QuikTrip parking lot in on Wornall
(worth a shot, I guess). But a Lothario Blakley was not.
Blakley allegedly started following the woman, who started to feel
sick. She pulled into a McDonald's, went inside and Blakley followed
her. Damn, he's persistent and creepy. Oh, and he may have been
yanking his crank.
The woman told him she'd call the cops, so he left. She also thought
the paper may have been laced with drugs, but police blame anxiety.
We'll never know for sure; she chucked the paper out her window.
Anyway, maybe your friends forwarded you an e-mail about the
incident.
Police thought Blakley looked a little familiar and realized he may be
the guy who showed his purple avenger to a 49-year-old woman loading
groceries into her car in the 6600 block of Winchester on July 22.
In that case, the woman said a man approached her, asked if she was in
a relationship (she said, "yes") and offered his phone number (hey,
she could have been in a open relationship). She declined, so the guy
turned up the creepy. He pulled his vehicle behind hers, blocking her
in, and said, "You dropped this," and handed her a piece of paper.
When she looked down, he was exposing himself and rubbing his totem
pole. She turned away, and he left.
Another woman in her forties -- sensing a pattern, here? -- told
police that a man approached her while she was pumping gas, asked if
she was married (she said, "yes") and offered her his phone number in
case she was ever single again. But he didn't leave. Instead, he stood
by the pump exposed apparently rubbing one out. He also had his cell
phone out either filming or photographing her.
Blakley is in custody and hopefully keeping his hands above the state
line. And if you've seen Blakley's wang, give your local cops a call.
Michael Snyder
Chocolic
"Slow Motion Apocalypse" <slowmotion...@rocketmail.com> wrote in
message
news:1070900c-4dc8-43d9...@g6g2000pro.googlegroups.com...
His "one-eyed trouser snake", "purple avenger" and "totem pole". Hahaha
Where do you get this stuff.
Chocolic