Colleen Mitchell Update (murder/suicide at Mass General)
Maggie
A life full of bright promise, dark secrets
By Farah Stockman, Globe Staff, 4/27/2003
RANFORD, N.J. - She had a fun-loving streak. She loved to laugh, prank-calling
the boys' hotel room on her eighth-grade class trip and announcing herself as
''Bubbles Galore.'' In college, she chain-smoked Marlboros in the student
government office, where she orchestrated projects including the big Beach Boys
concert and the student help hotline.
She had an angelic side: She was the hospital social worker who sat down on the
curb next to homeless men, who brought abused children home to stay at her own
apartment, who listened late into the night to her friends' troubles, never
letting on that she had troubles of her own.
But there was another side to Colleen Mitchell that she kept hidden from the
world.
Although almost no one knew it, the outwardly bubbly 51-year-old suffered from
depression and suicidal tendencies so severe that her family had had her
hospitalized at least once, according to a friend.
Three years ago, around Christmas, she walked into a Virginia pawn shop and
bought a .38-caliber gun. Earlier this month, she brought it to work at
Massachusetts General Hospital and squeezed the trigger, killing Dr. Brian
McGovern, a prominent cardiologist, and then herself.
The deaths have been an aching mystery in Boston, where close friends and
longtime colleagues say the doctor and Mitchell, a newly hired secretary,
hardly knew each other.
After weeks of investigation, police, who found commonly prescribed
antidepressants in Mitchell's home, cited ''mental issues'' as the only
explanation for the violence. They say that Mitchell had been unusually
anguished in recent weeks about the ill health of her elderly parents, but that
they have found no explanation for why she would kill McGovern, a married
father of two who, by all accounts, devoted his life to his patients and his
family.
In the 20 square miles of New Jersey where Mitchell spent all but the last of
her years, friends wondered how someone who began with so much promise, so much
vitality, and so much kindness could finish by causing so much pain.
''She was ambitious, she was fun, and she had the looks to go with it,'' said
Barbara Cummings, a retired emergency room nurse who knew Mitchell for more
than 20 years. ''She would be the last person alive I would ever expect this to
happen to.''
Born in 1951, Mitchell grew up in Menlo Park, N.J., then a spanking-new suburb
of identical houses where her father sat on the porch in his summer shirts, her
mother joined the bridge club, and she and her sisters attended Friday night
dances at a Catholic school.
Mitchell's father worked for the FBI, as did several other fathers in the
neighborhood, and he walked home every evening from the New York commuter train
with his briefcase, joking about gangsters to the children who swarmed him when
he walked in. Every Fourth of July, neighbors crowded onto the Mitchells' lawn
to eat popcorn and watch fireworks go off over Roosevelt Park.
Still, the Mitchells were known as very private people, said Eleanor McCarthy,
who lived across the street. When Colleen Mitchell's baby sister died suddenly
of illness at another sister's birthday party, the whole neighborhood mourned,
but the family withdrew and rarely spoke of it again.
The oldest of the six surviving children, Colleen Mitchell spent her teenage
years surrounded by family and friends, cruising to drive-in movies and taking
off for the shore. When she baby-sat for the neighbors' children, she let the
boys stay up late and smoke cigarettes out the window.
''She was the life of the party,'' said Kathleen Siecinski, who lived down the
street from Mitchell and was one of her closest childhood friends. ''She had
everyone laughing.''
After graduating from St. Peter the Apostle High School in New Brunswick,
Mitchell went on to college, unlike her best friends. At Kean College, a nearby
commuter school now called Kean University, she played the guitar, worked at a
supermarket, drank beer ''like one of the guys,'' a friend recalled, and headed
the student government group that brought musical acts like Judy Collins and
Bruce Springsteen to campus.
''She was really a central cog,'' said Robert Diehl, a classmate who knew her
well during those years. ''She coordinated everything. She was the chairman.
She was the chief.''
Despite the activities, the frenetic pace, the constant cheer, something about
Mitchell's life worried friends. Surrounded by so many, she still somehow
seemed alone.
''I guess I always felt that there was some underlying pressure, some sense
that she had a lot that she was trying to juggle in her life,'' said Bradford
Bury, another college friend who saw Mitchell occasionally in recent years.
''Maybe that's why, in part, she didn't have a steady boyfriend. ... She was
always someone who would move on to the next situation, the next person, the
next thing.''
In 1974, Mitchell earned a degree in social work, going to class by day and
working nights as a secretary at Elizabeth General Medical Center, in
Elizabeth, N.J., now Trinitas Hospital. After graduation, she took a full-time
job as a social worker at the same hospital.
Over the next 17 years there, she became a problem-solver for all kinds of
crises: drug addicts with nowhere to stay, children with suspicious broken
arms, young people whose parents had just died.
''There were people who she worked with who probably would have never made it
to adulthood without her,'' Cummings said.
Patricia Neary-Ludmer, a psychologist who worked with Mitchell, recalled her as
the ''go-to'' person at the hospital.
''If you walked into the hospital in the 1980s, all that you would hear was
Colleen being paged,'' Neary-Ludmer said. ''Colleen was this blue-eyed,
blonde-haired, `all right what now?' ball of energy. ... She had great
command.''
As a second job, Mitchell tended bar at the Sun Tavern, just to talk to people
who didn't need any help, she jokingly told friends.
She also led a whirlwind social life. At age 30, after years of chubbiness, she
lost 40 pounds and began to attract attention, attending parties with friends
from the hospital, who gathered to drink and dance in short skirts and scrubs.
''We had a ball,'' said Cummings, whose basement often filled with revelers
during those parties in the 1980s. ''Colleen shined. ... Everyone was looking
at her.''
Mitchell discreetly dated a string of doctors at the hospital, but nothing ever
seemed to work out. She seemed undaunted by heartbreak, rarely talking of
settling down.
''In a weird way, being single suited her,'' said Catherine Heineman, a nurse
who worked closely with Mitchell. ''She was happy-go-lucky and spontaneous. She
wasn't real open about the guys she was dating. That may have been because they
were guys we knew.''
In the mid-1980s, according to friends, Mitchell met the love of her life: a
rising star emergency room doctor and ladies' man. Her happiness crumbled in
1991 when he died of AIDS at the age of 37. A relative said he had contracted
the disease from a patient.
''She never got over it,'' Cummings said. ''Smiling, laughing, joking, it's a
way of hiding pain. ... She always seemed to handle the devastating things:
meeting someone and then not going out anymore, meeting someone else and not
seeming to connect. I think she would get to a point, and then she would cut it
off, because she was afraid to get hurt.''
Shortly after the doctor's death, friends said, Mitchell began to act
withdrawn. She stopped communicating with two friends she had known since she
was 18. One of them, Matthew McCarthy, declined to say why, only that he
believed that Mitchell was suffering from depression.
Around that time, Mitchell took long absences from work and did not share
information about where she had been, a former co-worker said.
Another friend said Mitchell was admitted to a hospital for depression and
suicidal behavior, but it is unclear where or when that occurred. Mitchell's
father, reached at his Virginia Beach home, declined to discuss his daughter's
mental health.
In spring 1997, when she was 45, Mitchell quit her job at the hospital and told
co-workers she was moving to Boston to help one of her sisters care for her
children, who were then about 7 and 3.
At her going-away party, attended by more than 60 friends and colleagues,
Mitchell seemed her old cheerful, bubbly self. She told people she missed her
family, who had all moved away from New Jersey.
''She said she needed a change,'' recalled Patricia Black, a nurse who worked
with Mitchell for almost 20 years. ''It was a big loss for the hospital.''
''It's odd to just sort of pack up your life and be gone,'' said Heineman.
Starting over on Boston's Beacon Hill, Mitchell sent a few Christmas cards, but
quickly lost touch with friends in New Jersey. They tried to invite her to a
reunion of hospital staff members in 2000, but no one knew her new address.
About a year ago, she called Cummings out of the blue.
''Her attitude was different,'' Cummings said. ''She said, `I'm having some
problems,' but she didn't go into it. ... She said, `It has been difficult. ...
We're getting older. Life is not what it used to be.'''
That call worried Cummings so much that she tried for weeks to call her back,
but Mitchell never picked up the phone.
Two weeks ago, a mute ribbon of words at the bottom of a television news
channel told Cummings that her friend had shot to death a co-worker and killed
herself.
''There had to be something that just tilted in her brain,'' Cummings said.
''She made herself into a totally different person. This was not her.''
This story ran on page A1 of the Boston Globe on 4/27/2003.
Maggie
"Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house
and four people died." -- Steven Wright
crosem
heard of a depression-related suicide killing another person, esp. as she
seems to have no relationship of any sort with the male doctor
"Maggie" <maggi...@aol.comSPAMBLOC> wrote in message
news:20030427231120...@mb-m19.aol.com...
Maggie
>OK, the suicide we can buy, the history is there, etc., but I have never
>heard of a depression-related suicide killing another person, esp. as she
>seems to have no relationship of any sort with the male doctor
***I guess it's impossible to know what might go on inside of a tortured mind,
but I've always thought that the simplest explanation made the most sense: she
didn't want a loved one to find her body so she arranged to kill herself in a
private place at work, McGovern walked in on her and tried to stop it and got
killed for his trouble. Guess we'll never know for sure.
Jagdeep Cruellruby
"Maggie" <maggi...@aol.comSPAMBLOC> wrote in message
> crosem said:
> >OK, the suicide we can buy, the history is there, etc., but I
have never
> >heard of a depression-related suicide killing another person,
esp. as she
> >seems to have no relationship of any sort with the male doctor
>
> ***I guess it's impossible to know what might go on inside of a
tortured mind,
> but I've always thought that the simplest explanation made the
most sense: she
> didn't want a loved one to find her body so she arranged to kill
herself in a
> private place at work, McGovern walked in on her and tried to stop
it and got
> killed for his trouble. Guess we'll never know for sure.
*****It sounds to me like Colleen Mitchell contributed more to her
communities than many people manage. It was painful to even read
about her life, which sounded fairly heroic - all the people who
gave quotes sounded so regretful, mournful. I think she was probably
pretty enough, struggled with weight at some point in her life, but
none of that really mattered to her or so it sounds to me. Her
recurring depression dictated many of her life choices, or maybe it
was a circular thing - being a social worker could be pretty
depressing I'd think, and then if one's genetics were prone to
depression... Gawd. How tragically unlucky the Irish dr walked in
early that morning. So sad in every way, these deaths. Thx for
posting.
JC
Bo Raxo
"Maggie" <maggi...@aol.comSPAMBLOC> wrote in message
> No picture, but it sounds like she wasn't unattractive. From the Boston
Globe:
>
>
> A life full of bright promise, dark secrets
> By Farah Stockman, Globe Staff, 4/27/2003
>
> government office, <snip>
Although almost no one knew it, the outwardly bubbly 51-year-old suffered
from
> depression and suicidal tendencies so severe that her family had had her
> hospitalized at least once, according to a friend.
>
In her fifties, and she'd been chain smoking for 30+ years.
Oh yeah, I bet she was a real looker....
Bo Raxo
What's the emoticon for rolling my eyes and shaking my head in disbelief?
Oh wait, now I'm dizzy....
formica63
>
> What's the emoticon for rolling my eyes and shaking my head in disbelief?
=%~
Form.
tinydancer
"Bo Raxo" <cheneys...@nospam.deathsdoor.com> wrote in message
news:b8ilfo$ive$1...@slb6.atl.mindspring.net...
>
> "Maggie" <maggi...@aol.comSPAMBLOC> wrote in message
> news:20030427231120...@mb-m19.aol.com...
> > No picture, but it sounds like she wasn't unattractive. From the Boston
> Globe:
> >
> >
> > A life full of bright promise, dark secrets
> > By Farah Stockman, Globe Staff, 4/27/2003
> >
> <snip> In college, she chain-smoked Marlboros in the student
> > government office, <snip>
> Although almost no one knew it, the outwardly bubbly 51-year-old suffered
> from
> > depression and suicidal tendencies so severe that her family had had her
> > hospitalized at least once, according to a friend.
> >
>
> In her fifties, and she'd been chain smoking for 30+ years.
>
> Oh yeah, I bet she was a real looker....
>
> Bo Raxo
You know, this just struck me, but how are your constant generalizations
about older women any different basically than my 'most men are pigs'?? I'm
trying to understand this one. See mine was made in the context of some
very disgusting overt things being said by some men posting here, yet your's
are made at simply the existance of women over 40 or 45, they don't have to
do or say anything. Is this not the same sort of 'negative sexist remark'
I'm being chastized for??
td
zuz...@webtv.net
>is there, etc., but I have never heard of a
>depression-related suicide killing another
>person, esp. as she seems to have no
>relationship of any sort with the male
>doctor
Several years ago my neighbor, who had had a long bout with depression
including shock therapy, attempted suicide. I came home to find a note
saying she couldn't deal with life anymore and asking me to take care of
her cats, and I immediately went over there and pounded on the door.
There was no answer and I quickly called 911. I had a key, but I did not
go inside and waited until they arrived. They told me I had been smart
not to go in because often the person committiing suicide, if they are
using a gun, will take someone with them if they happen to walk in on
them before the deed is done. Maybe that is what happened in this
situation. Fortunately my neighbor overdosed on drugs but was not dead
yet, and they got her to a hospital and saved her life. Now she is in
ongoing group therapy and is doing really well.
Megan
"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do
nothing."
-Edmund Burke
Learn The TRUTH About Declawing
http://www.stopdeclaw.com
Zuzu's Cats Photo Album:
http://www.PictureTrail.com/zuzu22
Bo Raxo
Formie -
Are you sure? That looks more like the emoticon for "We went to the
video store and rented House Party 2".
Bo
Kid 'N Play, those guys need to do another movie.
TdN
>
>
> Oh yeah, I bet she was a real looker....
It didn't seem to hurt Ava Gardner's looks any. Or Morgan Fairchild,
for that matter...Margot Fonteyn...
Smoking doesn't damage everyone's skin. I had an aunt who smoked like
a stack, but who was gorgeous (Mary Tyler Moore look-a-like to the
point where people stopped her on the street) until she, um, died of
emphysema in her 60s.
But she *looked* great.
T.
Threnody
> Bo
> Kid 'N Play, those guys need to do another movie.
Amen! The House Party movies are a couple titles from my "guilty
pleasures" film list. Another title is (don't laugh) "The Brave Little
Toaster."
--Threnody
BethF
"Maggie" <maggi...@aol.comSPAMBLOC> wrote in message
news:20030427231120...@mb-m19.aol.com...
chubbiness, she
> lost 40 pounds and began to attract attention, attending parties with
friends
> from the hospital, who gathered to drink and dance in short skirts and
scrubs.
>
> ''We had a ball,'' said Cummings, whose basement often filled with
revelers
> during those parties in the 1980s. ''Colleen shined. ... Everyone was
looking
> at her.''
>
Sounds very attractive
> In the mid-1980s, according to friends, Mitchell met the love of her life:
a
> rising star emergency room doctor and ladies' man. Her happiness crumbled
in
> 1991 when he died of AIDS at the age of 37. A relative said he had
contracted
> the disease from a patient.
>
> ''She never got over it,'' Cummings said. ''Smiling, laughing, joking,
it's a
> way of hiding pain. ... She always seemed to handle the devastating
things:
> meeting someone and then not going out anymore, meeting someone else and
not
> seeming to connect. I think she would get to a point, and then she would
cut it
> off, because she was afraid to get hurt.''
I wonder if the doctor she killed reminded her of the doctor she lost.
PattyC
Reading this article (but purposely not looking at the other posts yet), and
the descriptions of her throughout life, my "diagnosis" is that she was
bipolar (manic depressive). I would like to know what meds she was on at
the time of her death.
PattyC
--
Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by
stupidity. -Hanlon's Razor
"Maggie" <maggi...@aol.comSPAMBLOC> wrote in message
news:20030427231120...@mb-m19.aol.com...
Bo Raxo
"Threnody" <cr...@austin.TAKETHISOUTrr.com> wrote in message
news:Xns936BA671F...@216.166.71.233...
When I throw a party, friends will be flipping through my DVD collection.
They'll see a lot of serious movies, some blockbusters, some action flicks,
some sci-fi.
And in the middle of it, Disney's "The Kid".
They make a joke, and then watch in amazement as I start telling them what a
great movie it is.
Happened again at my Oscar party this year.
Then again, I have a friend who is a sweet, gentle elderly woman. Not too
long ago she told me how she really liked "women getting even" flicks, and I
lent her "I Spit On Your Grave". And it's now one of her favorites.
Oh, and if you are at all a Star Trek fan, run out and buy "Free
Enterprise". It's laugh-out-loud funny.
Bo
Bo Raxo
"tinydancer" <tinyd...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:yecra.15277$KH4....@fe03.atl2.webusenet.com...
1. I have previously posted that I agree with you: most men are pigs. I
certainly am.
2. I am talking about looks. There are a zillion examples in the popular
culture to back up my assertion that 50-something women are generally not
found to be attractive to most men, certainly not as attractive on average
as 20-something and 30-something women. I still can't believe anybody would
be stupid enough to argue this, but I guess old women are defensive about
this stuff. The culture tells them they are worthless if they aren't
attractive, and instead of realizing that is bullshit, they whine that they
are still attractive. Pathetic.
3. You are talking about behavior. It is much harder to generalize about
behavior than about physical deterioration and the cultural/evolutionary
pressures that make women who appear to be fertile more attractive to men
than those who do not/are not.
About a year ago I was at a rooftop party. I made a comment that is, well,
typically Bo, and then said I was heading down the stairs to grab a fresh
beer. One of the women turned to me and said, "Do you actually root and
snort as you go down those stairs?"
So when I said I'm a pig, I meant it.
Bo Raxo
Bonus irony: I don't eat pork.
Chocolic
woman?????" Oh Bo, there is a side of you we don't know. ;) You never
cease to amaze me.
Chocolic
Chocolic
That's a big "bull, Bo". The culture does NOT tell us we are worthless
if we aren't attractive. YOU tell us we are worthless and not attractive
under any circumstances if we are over 30 (so we mays well just lay down
and die). Big difference. Sometimes attractive has nothing to do with
the material looks. It's personality. Personality has more beauty than
makeup and hairdos and tight asses. Okay? And what you think is
attractive does not mean "most men" think like you. If that were the case,
there would be an awful lot of lonely Bo's around.
Chocolic
Bo Raxo
"Chocolic" <chatt...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:Acora.130294$ja4.5...@bgtnsc05-news.ops.worldnet.att.net...
>
> WHA-A-AT?!?!?! You have a friend that is a "sweet, gentle elderly
> woman?????" Oh Bo, there is a side of you we don't know. ;) You never
> cease to amaze me.
>
> Chocolic
>
When time allows, I do some volunteer work. One of the best parts is that
you make friends from all walks of life, people you would otherwise never
meet. I met her doing some meals on wheels deliveries.
And keep in mind, this is a sweet elderly woman who liked the flick "I Spit
On Your Grave". My kinda gal!
Bo
Bo Raxo
Choc, you are making an error in logic: When I say "most men" or "society"
it does not mean "this is how I feel about the subject". Most men like huge
breasts; I don't - hey, I was bottle-fed as a baby, those big ones scare me!
<g>
Do you understand the distinction? I don't tell the American public
anything. Turn on a t.v. and see who the romantic love interest is 9 times
out of ten. Rent the latest James Bond flick and check out the women he
beds. Look at a magazine rack and tell me what the women on the cover look
like.
I am not talking about reality - reality is that lots of young, beautiful
women are also shallow and narcissistic and probably won't manage to have a
meaningful relationship until they outgrow their looks. And I'm not talking
about my own personal biases. I am talking about what the majority of
American men think is hot.
Do you really, really think that the average American 30-something single
guy (i.e., me) is going to walk in to a bar and hit on some 50-something
gal? Heck, a few weeks ago I had a woman of fifty (she told me her age,
unasked) hit on me in a bar. She was very nice looking for her age, had a
terrific personality, and we had a nice conversation. But oh man, I was
embarrased for her, watching the bartender smirk. Why would I sleep with a
fossil when there are plenty of women under 40 around? Get real!
Ther worst was when she asked for my number. Oh man, beliefs like yours are
what make women like that just unrealistic. She should have spent her time
looking for a man closer to her own age; advice that I frequently give to
men, too.
Oh, and FWIW, if any of my friends around my age tried hitting on a girl
more than about a dozen years younger than them, we'ed laugh our asses off
ridiculing him. Reality cuts both ways, although it is less brutal with men
in their 40s and 50s than women - again, rent that James Bond flick for an
example.
Bo
Patty
"Bo Raxo" <cheneys...@nospam.deathsdoor.com> wrote in message
news:b8l26r$2cs$1...@slb0.atl.mindspring.net...
:
: "Threnody" <cr...@austin.TAKETHISOUTrr.com> wrote in message
: news:Xns936BA671F...@216.166.71.233...
: > On 28 Apr 2003, Cheneys...@deathsdoor.com (Bo Raxo) wrote:
: >
: > > Bo
: > > Kid 'N Play, those guys need to do another movie.
: >
: > Amen! The House Party movies are a couple titles from my "guilty
: > pleasures" film list. Another title is (don't laugh) "The Brave Little
: > Toaster."
: >
: > --Threnody
: >
:
: When I throw a party, friends will be flipping through my DVD collection.
: They'll see a lot of serious movies, some blockbusters, some action flicks,
: some sci-fi.
:
: And in the middle of it, Disney's "The Kid".
:
: They make a joke, and then watch in amazement as I start telling them what a
: great movie it is.
:
: Happened again at my Oscar party this year.
:
: Then again, I have a friend who is a sweet, gentle elderly woman. Not too
: long ago she told me how she really liked "women getting even" flicks, and I
: lent her "I Spit On Your Grave". And it's now one of her favorites.
:
: Oh, and if you are at all a Star Trek fan, run out and buy "Free
: Enterprise". It's laugh-out-loud funny.
:
: Bo
Sounds like a fun group of imaginary friends.
Patty
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Bo Raxo
"Patty" <la...@bug.com> wrote in message news:3eae...@post.newsfeed.com...
Now that's a surprisingly ignorant comment from you. Something I might
expect from PattyC, but not from you. What's got your knickers in a twist?
tinydancer
Those are movies Bo, not real life, there is a distinction between movies
and reality. Most women like hunky guys, men with great bod's, nicely
rounded asses without blemishes and hair. Men about 6'2" with great hair,
nice biceps, shaven balls, and broad chests...........in the movies. How
many of those are runnin around with you at the bars??
>
> I am not talking about reality - reality is that lots of young, beautiful
> women are also shallow and narcissistic and probably won't manage to have
a
> meaningful relationship until they outgrow their looks. And I'm not
talking
> about my own personal biases. I am talking about what the majority of
> American men think is hot.
What the majority of American women think is hot isn't what the majority of
American women are dating either. That's real life.
>
> Do you really, really think that the average American 30-something single
> guy (i.e., me) is going to walk in to a bar and hit on some 50-something
> gal? Heck, a few weeks ago I had a woman of fifty (she told me her age,
> unasked) hit on me in a bar. She was very nice looking for her age, had a
> terrific personality, and we had a nice conversation. But oh man, I was
> embarrased for her, watching the bartender smirk. Why would I sleep with a
> fossil when there are plenty of women under 40 around? Get real!
And when I'm sitting in a bar, or at a party or function, I never 'hit on'
anybody, never have, not even when I was 20. I just sat there and waited
for them to come to me. I never had trouble getting the interest of a man.
I always hung with the guys much more so than the women, my personality
attracted 'em, and it still does. I'm not desperate, in fact I'm married to
a man who is not threatened by the fact that men like me, talk to me,
socialize with me, because I always go home with him. But that doesn't mean
when we are out socializing, going out own ways at a party, that I don't get
hit on. Usually the guys who hit on me are 5 to 10 years younger than me, I
think I intimidate the older ones.
>
> Ther worst was when she asked for my number. Oh man, beliefs like yours
are
> what make women like that just unrealistic. She should have spent her
time
> looking for a man closer to her own age; advice that I frequently give to
> men, too.
Maybe you just hang out with a shallow crowd Bo, maybe it's California
style, but back here in the East things don't work quite the same way. I'm
lucky I don't have a jealous husband because I've got men coming up to me,
hugging me, putting their arms around me, dancing with me. Perhaps it's as
Choco suggests, my personality attracts 'em. I remember sitting downtown in
the courthouse one day, waiting for a case to begin, and this attorney saw
me sitting all alone in the hallway and kept coming over to speak to me,
every time his court session broke he caught up with me again. I didn't
chase him down, he came to me. At first I gave him the benefit of the doubt
and thought he was trying to help me, but after awhile I realized he was
flirting with me, so I played around for a bit with it, as it was fun, but
then when he asked me 'what I did' 'where I worked' I finally had to tell
him 'I didn't work, I was married and had three children. He was very nice
about it, congratulated me and wished me well, and continued to come and
speak to me during breaks, as he knew I was a bit apprehensive about my
court appearance.
I remember sitting at a bar once, hubby was across the room, and this guy
came up and sat next to me and began feeling my leg. Since he was an
associate of dh's, I was a bit ill at ease, didn't want to be rude, but I
also wasn't comfortable with what he was doing, so I told hubby later. Dh
said, 'ah, he probably hasn't 'had' a pretty woman in awhile, so you gave
him a thrill, no big deal.
Don't get me wrong, I've attracted a few real slime balls in my time, could
spot 'em from a mile away. I knew what was on their minds, "how about we
go outside for a smoke?" I knew what 'that' would've entailed..........
So you meet a few desperate ones, doesn't mean that's the way we all
operate. I've never in my life thrown myself at any man.
>
> Oh, and FWIW, if any of my friends around my age tried hitting on a girl
> more than about a dozen years younger than them, we'ed laugh our asses off
> ridiculing him. Reality cuts both ways, although it is less brutal with
men
> in their 40s and 50s than women -
again, rent that James Bond flick for an
> example.
That's a movie Bo, do you 'look like' those men in the movies Bo?? Have you
got that 'movie star' quality?
td
>
> Bo
>
>
>
>
Maggie
>> When I throw a party, friends will be flipping through my DVD collection.
>> They'll see a lot of serious movies, some blockbusters, some action
>flicks,
>> some sci-fi.
>>
>> And in the middle of it, Disney's "The Kid".
>>
>> They make a joke, and then watch in amazement as I start telling them
>what a
>> great movie it is.
>>
>> Happened again at my Oscar party this year.
>>
>> Then again, I have a friend who is a sweet, gentle elderly woman. Not
>too
>> long ago she told me how she really liked "women getting even" flicks,
>and I
>> lent her "I Spit On Your Grave". And it's now one of her favorites.
>>
>> Oh, and if you are at all a Star Trek fan, run out and buy "Free
>> Enterprise". It's laugh-out-loud funny.
>>
>> Bo
>>
>WHA-A-AT?!?!?! You have a friend that is a "sweet, gentle elderly
>woman?????" Oh Bo, there is a side of you we don't know. ;) You never
>cease to amaze me.
***She's 41.
Maggie
"It is a capital mistake to theorize before one has data. Insensibly one begins
to twist facts to suit theories instead of theories to suit facts."
- Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
Jagdeep Cruellruby
She's 50, right?
Jagdeep Cruellruby
"Maggie" <maggi...@aol.comSPAMBLOC> wrote in message
Oh! I just said she was probably 50. I should have finished the
thread first. JC
Jagdeep Cruellruby
Here's a story, Tiny. A few years ago in LA there was a young woman,
late 20s, who worked in a cube in the middle of our floor, doing
support for some of the middle management staff. She was married,
very conservative in lifestyle and dress, no children yet, and was
nice and friendly to all while she tried to get her work done. She
was a very genuine and sincere young woman, and one of those people
for whom "nice" really does apply. (This was at the corp
headquarters of a huge multi-national company in Los Angeles.)
There were always other folks stopping by her cube (which was only
chest high) to chat with her, especially the guys from other floors
in their late 30s and early 40s as they came and went to other
meetings and whatnot.
Then one day amongst several women of varying ranks and ages,
Madelyne asked in frustration, "HOW COME THESE OLD GUYS KEEP HANGING
AROUND?" I have to tell you, we all stopped for a minute and then
burst out laughing. *Madelyne* was the reason they were hanging
around, we all realized. She was extremely pretty. They all thought
they were a bunch of Romeos who Mad found attractive or something,
and she was just being polite and couldn't get rid of 'em. It was
the first time some of us realized how ancient she viewed these
fellows, and how hard it was for her to tell the old coots to buzz
off. LOL! Maybe this is one of those stories where you just 'had to
be there' to see how funny it was. It was HILARIOUS.
I'm thinkin Bo is one of *those* guys, lol.
JC
tinydancer
"Jagdeep Cruellruby" <jonesi...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:3eae5d9a$0$17876$afc3...@news.optusnet.com.au...
I think it's a 'guy thing'. We were having some work done on our house at
the time, so I went a few places with the contractor guy to look at and
choose some of the
materials we needed/wanted for the project. I can't recall 'how' it came
up, but I began to understand something. It's more about how the man
'feels' when he's out in public with a woman, how he 'feels' about himself
when the other men turn around to take a look. If he's with a woman who
attracts attention, that somehow makes him 'feel' like he's a stud. Sort of
like a parent with a really beautiful child that gets admired. That old
'yeah, she's with me' attitude. 'She' could be a half-witted idiot, but if
'she' looked fine then 'he' grew in the admiration of other guys.
>
>
Patty
I worked for this place that decided to hire a temporary gofer. A
woman, I think she was about 24, sent her resume in and she listed one
of her previous occupations as lingerie model, in fact it was modeled
black lingerie. All the guys could hardly wait until her interview,
and three were interviewing her. In she walked wearing a short
leather skirt, all the guys were taking trips to the nearby water
fountain or the men's room waiting for her to finish. When the four
came out and she left one of the top managers told one of the
interviewers, if you don't hire her I think that's grounds for
dismissal. I heard that one of the interviewers during the interview
kept conveniently dropping his pen under the table.
Well, she got hired, turned out to be a pretty good worker too. But
it was so funny to watch this men. One of the supervisors, close to
60 yrs old, used to await her arrival every morning standing on his
tippy toes so he could check out what she was wearing. You could just
see his eyes peering over the cabinet in his cube. If only they knew
the nicknames she gave them. One was Pencil Dick or PD (and his name
wasn't Richard,) another was Squeeky because his shoes squeeked so
much she could hear him coming a mile away.
When she left she gave one of the guys pictures of her modeling with
the request not to show it around, said she didn't want to get
reported for sexual harassment. He had never been interested in her
but became friends with her. There were two pictures, one she was in
a thong with her back to the camera and her upper body turned around
facing the camera. I think the other one was a little more
suggestive.
All in all it was pretty fun to watch those guys trip all over each
other when she just saw them as DOM. And although she wore often wore
short skirts, her attire was never indecent.
Patty
Bo Raxo
"Maggie" <maggi...@aol.comSPAMBLOC> wrote in message
news:20030429070319...@mb-m22.aol.com...
> >WHA-A-AT?!?!?! You have a friend that is a "sweet, gentle elderly
> >woman?????" Oh Bo, there is a side of you we don't know. ;) You never
> >cease to amaze me.
>
> ***She's 41.
>
> Maggie
>
No, no, I said elderly.
Which is 40.
41 is ancient!
I would have more to say, but I have a sudden urge to screen "Logan's
Run"...for the umpteenth time.
Bo
You know what they say about girls around forty: "Tick, tick tick..."
tinydancer
Great story JC! ya know, I like older gentlemen. When I was working at the
pharmacy I had a couple of 'em who used to come in almost everyday. They
were retired and they'd come in just to chat and flirt. I don't get all
bent out of shape with a little flirting and teasing. I had a good time
with it. These were all really old guys, into their '70's I'd say, but they
loved to just come in to tease a bit. One of them, quite a prominent
retired attorney in our area, had me call his son one day from work. He was
teasing his son that he had a 'girlfriend' and I played along that we were
'at lunch' together, his dad and me. 'Older gentleman' got a real kick out
of fooling his son. I used my sexy voice. I had another one who was trying
to entice me to quit my job and come be his 'nurse'. He told me he'd take
me to Florida. My pharmacist enjoyed my playful nature, it brought in more
customers and they were all happy, even if they had to wait for their
prescriptions for awhile. I kept them entertained. And I could see a 'new
life' in the mens eyes, could tell they were having fun themselves.
Although all of them knew none of this was serious, it was just fun, they
were all complete gentlemen all the time, they just enjoyed themselves a bit
and I did too. It made my day go faster, having a fun time always tends to
do that. That's the difference between the situation you were talking
about and mine. I always viewed my 'gentlemen friends' as just that,
friends who liked to have fun with me, because we all knew it was just that,
fun, so I really didn't have nasty names for 'em or anything, I loved them.
They were sweet and kind and used to bring me little gifts, and it made me
happy to brighten up their days, see that old 'youthful' look in their eyes
once again.
td
>
>
Bo Raxo
"Jagdeep Cruellruby" <jonesi...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:3eae677b$0$17876$afc3...@news.optusnet.com.au...
>
>
Great story.
As for me though, you're way off. For one thing, I don't flirt or show
attraction at all at work, I find that kind of thing looks amateurish and
makes others lose respect for you. And if you're a single man in his 30s,
living in a big city, with a steady job, good hygiene, and you're not fat,
you're gonna get some action. It's the fat guys and the married guys who
are so starved for female attention that they bug polite women.
HTH,
Bo
Jagdeep Cruellruby
LOL! Now that you mention it, two of the men I remember the most
from this *were* married. Glad you liked the story.
("Action"! LOL!)
JC