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Kup Tales: The Long Patrol
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Gustavo Wombat
May 27, 2012, 3:27:11 AM5/27/12
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“What’s up, kid?” Kup said, as Hot Rod pulled up to the fishing hole.
Hot Rod opened his door, and Daniel climbed out, clutching the fishing poles. Hot Rod transformed and answered Kup, “Just bringing Daniel out fishing, trying to cheer him up.”
“What’s wrong, Daniel? Is it the jump suits?” Kup asked, understandably.
“My parents are trying to have another kid,” Daniel said, “and I don’t want a brother, I want a dog.”
“Maybe they’ll have a puppy rather than a baby...” Kup suggested.
“It doesn’t work that way,” Daniel said, unsure whether Kup was teasing him, or simply confused about human biology.
“Maybe they’ll have a girl,” Arcee said, “and then you won’t have a brother at all, you’ll have a sister.”
“Girls are dumb!” Daniel announced.
“It’s true,” Arcee said, sad and a little hurt.
“I didn’t mean you,” Daniel said. “You’re not a girl, you’re a robot.”
“If you do have a baby brother,” Kup said, “maybe you could replace it with a puppy and no one would notice. Puppies are mammals that move about on all fours, and babies are mammals that move about on all fours... it would probably take them a few years to notice, and by then they will be pretty attached to the dog.”
“That won’t work,” Daniel laughed. “Dogs have fur, and tails.”
“Maybe you’ll like your brother,” Hot Rod said. “Sideswipe and Sunstreaker like each other. And I liked my brother, before he was killed by malfunctioning safety equipment.”
“How can a robot have a brother?” Daniel asked.
“Well, the Cybertronian word is <ear-splitting shriek>,” Kup explained, “but the closest word in English is ‘brother’ or ‘family’. It’s a friend that you can’t choose, and you might not like. They’re a kindred spirit for better or worse.”
“How do you get one?” Daniel asked, shaking his head and trying to get the ringing out of his ears.
“Sorry about that,” Kup said. “Most Cybertronian words sound just like English, but that one is a horrible shriek. We don’t like it either, which is why we just use the English word “brother”. Anyway, you just kind of recognize your brothers. It’s all Vector Sigma’s doing.”
“But what if you don’t want a brother?”
“Now that reminds me of a story,” Kup said. “Back on Cybertron, Skids and his brother Mudflap were inseparable. They were both in Ultra Magnus’s Wreckers, and when Optimus was launching the Ark, he asked to borrow them, but Mudflap didn’t get there in time, and so they left without him.
“It wasn’t supposed to be a very long trip, so no one really worried about it. But they were separated for millions of years, until Ultra Magnus brought the Wreck here. And, when they were reunited, there were some problems...
“'Skids,' Ultra Magnus said, patting the theoretician on the back, 'I was wondering if you could help me with something.'”
Kups impression of Ultra Magnus was surprisingly good, capturing the city commander’s stiffness, and tendency towards gladhanding.
“Skids hesitated. 'I’ll do what I can...'
“Now, something to remember about Skids is that he was in stasis lock for 4.5 million years. He knew Ultra Magnus, and for him only a couple years passed. For Ultra Magnus, however, 4.5 million years had passed and he wasn’t quite the same bot.
“Really, all of the Autobots that weren’t on the Ark changed a bit, so for Skids, it was like meeting a bunch of bots that were all imposters. They looked like his friends, they acted like his friends, but there were a lot of little differences between the bots he knew and the bots who had arrived. Skids didn’t like that.
“'It’s your brother, Mudflap,' Ultra Magnus began, and Skids died a little bit inside. 'Ever since we arrived on Earth, the rest of the Wreckers have gotten along well enough with Optimus’s crew, but Mudflap seems to be making everyone uncomfortable.'
“'He does that...' Skids said, trying to distance himself from his brother’s antics. It wasn’t that he didn’t love his brother, it was just that he didn’t like him. Mudflap was always getting into trouble, and he had a way of dragging Skids into it.”
“I thought you said they were inseparable?” Daniel asked, interrupting the story.
“Well, that was more Mudflap’s doing than Skids, to be entirely honest,” Kup explained. “Wherever Skids would go, Mudflap would follow. Anyways, as I was saying...
“'Yes, yes, he does,' Ultra Magnus said. 'And while the Wreckers are mostly used to his antics, there has been some concerning moments.'
“Now here’s something you might not know, Daniel,” Kup said, interrupting his own story. “A lot of Autobots think that Ultra Magnus’s crew are called the Wreckers because they wreck things, but really, it’s just that the shuttle we used was a bit of a wreck so we named it that. The Wreckers call Optimus’s crew the Arkers. Anyway, back to the story. Ultra Magnus was berating Skids about Mudflap’s behavior.
“'Is this about Jazz?' Skids asked, sheepishly. Mudflap had taken a fondness to the urban culture of inner city african-american youth, with their Hip Hop and their Rap, and to be quite honest, Skids liked it too. However, Mudflap had crossed a line when he referred to Jazz as an 'Uncle Tom,' and began ridiculing his white-bread fondness for bands like Cold Slither.
“But I thought Jazz was cool...” Daniel said.
“Well, the thing about Jazz is that he woke up in 1984, and discovered all this great music that humans had. And for the next few years he was ecstatic, but then the 90s came, and grunge and hip hop, and Jazz just kept listening to Huey Lewis, Whitesnake, and Cold Slither.
“I’m not taking Mudflap’s side in this, but I’m not taking Jazz’s side either. Whitesnake is great, but Cold Slither is just terrible.
“'Well, the Jazz incident is part of it,' Ultra Magnus said. 'If it was just that once incident, it would be fine and everyone would forget about it, but there’s been a pattern of incidents. He referred to Carly’s sex life with Spike, he suggested that the Autobots should ration out the use of Arcee, he keeps using the phrase ‘pop a cap in your ass’ whatever that means, and he speaks in a dialect of English that is apparently racially insensitive.'
“'Shit, ni--' Skids began, using some of his brother’s colorful vernacular, before stopping himself. 'I’m sure he means nothing by it.'
“'Yes, well, when he does this, it reflects badly upon me as a leader, and it reflects badly upon you as his brother.'
“Skids shuddered when he heard that. He wasn’t the most popular of the Autobots, but everyone on Optimus’s team either didn’t mind him, or forgot he existed. It was a lot better than on Cybertron where Mudflap and Skids were well known and strongly disliked.
“Skids wished he could be popular, but he was realistic enough to know that this wasn’t going to happen. Obscurity was the best he could hope for, and Mudflap was ruining things for him again.
“'I’ve tried talking to him,' Ultra Magnus said, 'but I’ve gotten nowhere. I’m hoping you can get through to him where I couldn’t.'
“'What do you want me to do?' Skids asked, suppressing the urge to tell Ultra Magnus to take the carbon fiber post out of his exhaust port.
“'Try talking to him at the base, and if that doesn’t work, take him out on a long patrol.'
“'Gotcha,' Skids said. 'Long patrol.'
“A couple of days later, Skids tracked down Ultra Magnus in Autobot City.
“'I took care of it,' Skids said.
“'Took care of it?' Ultra Magnus asked, trying to remember what it was that Skids might have taken care of.
“'Mudflap won’t be embarrassing you any more.'
“'Good, but it’s not just about me, it’s about all of us. It’s about Autobots acting as a team, and when someone is undermining the team, it’s a problem.'
“'Well, whatever,' Skids said. 'He won’t be doing it anymore.'
“'Good,' Ultra Magnus said.
“There was a long, awkward silence,” Kup said, stopping for a bit to demonstrate the long uncomfortableness of the silence.
“Then what happened?” Daniel asked, excitedly.
“Oh, the long uncomfortable silence continued for a bit.” Kup replied, and resumed his silence.
After a few minutes, Daniel was getting bored. “How long did this uncomfortable silence last?”
“Oh,” Kup said, trying to remember what story he was telling. “Probably less than 15 seconds, but it felt like a lot longer. It felt like it was as long as this silence was.
“'Is there something else?' Ultra Magus asked.
“'Next time, do your own dirty work,' Skids replied. 'I’m not one of your Wreckers anymore, that was over a long time ago. You want a bot dead, you do it yourself.'
“'Dead?' Ultra Magnus asked, stunned.
“'You said to take him on a long patrol. So I did.'
“'I meant take him out and talk to him, away from everyone else so he wouldn’t get defensive.' Ultra Magnus was horrified.
“'I’m just a bot, not a mind reader,' Skids said. 'You should have been more specific.'
“'This is a problem,' Ultra Magnus said, understating the severity of the situation.
“'Hey, don’t look at me,' Skids replied. 'I was just following your orders.'
“Ultra Magnus sighed. To the uninformed, it might look like Skids was following orders. The Wreckers had a reputation for being tough and bending the rules -- and with Skids having once been a Wrecker, it looked bad.
“'It shouldn’t be a problem though,' Skids said. 'I did it out in grid 3H. There’s been a lot of Decepticon activity there, so it will look like he just got ambushed. I did it just like how you took care of Malignus Deceptibot.'
“Now, Malignus Deceptibot had been a Decepticon double agent that infiltrated the Wreckers millions of years ago on Cybertron, and who had curried favor with many of the Autobot leaders. Ultra Magnus took care of him on a patrol, confronted him, and then killed him, discarding the body as just another casualty of war. Wrecker justice was swift, harsh and with no appeals. Malignus Deceptibot’s betrayal wasn’t even common knowledge for a few more years, once his collaborators had been flushed out, and even then, Ultra Magnus’s role in his death was just a rumor.”
“How do you know any of this?” Arcee asked.
“Ultra Magnus tells me everything,” Kup explained.
“Do you really expect us to believe that Ultra Magnus would tell you about how he accidentally ordered the death of another Autobot?” Arcee questioned further. “Do you really expect us to believe he can be that dumb?”
“That’s where you’re wrong,” Kup countered. “It’s not dumb, it’s genius. No one believes my stories, so what better way to get rid of any suspicions?”
“He’s got a point,” Hot Rod said.
“I still don’t believe it,” Arcee replied.
“That’s his point,” Hot Rod replied.
Kup smiled smugly, and nodded approvingly at Hot Shot.
“I still don’t want a brother...” Daniel said, as if Kup’s story might have convinced him otherwise.
“Well then,” Kup said, “I’ll tell you what to do. Just slip this into your parents’ food, and you won’t have to worry about them having any more kids.”
Kup popped open a panel on his chest, and scraped some residue off a crumbling ancient component, and then offered it to Daniel.
“What is it?” Daniel asked.
“Better not to ask,” Hot Rod suggested.
“Don’t listen to him,” Kup said, gesturing towards Hot Rod. “It’s just a bit of my morality circuits that are crumbling away. The Cybertronium Oxide should render your parents sterile.”
-----------
Sometimes you get an idea for a story, but it’s a terrible, terrible idea. Luckily, we have Kup. This is, I guess, part of a series that includes “Why Shockwave Only Has One Hand” https://groups.google.com/d/msg/alt.toys.transformers/5364vyx-TG8/pQSJ09b6DYgJ
I blame Zobovor and his insane Kup story from “Children of Cybertron”. I wish I didn't have two other Kup Tales in the works.
'Malignus Deceptibot' has to be the worst name for a Decepticon spy ever. But it’s very much in keeping with the Sunbow cartoon, where names like 'Swindle' are common, so even 8 year olds can follow it.
Hot Rod opened his door, and Daniel climbed out, clutching the fishing poles. Hot Rod transformed and answered Kup, “Just bringing Daniel out fishing, trying to cheer him up.”
“What’s wrong, Daniel? Is it the jump suits?” Kup asked, understandably.
“My parents are trying to have another kid,” Daniel said, “and I don’t want a brother, I want a dog.”
“Maybe they’ll have a puppy rather than a baby...” Kup suggested.
“It doesn’t work that way,” Daniel said, unsure whether Kup was teasing him, or simply confused about human biology.
“Maybe they’ll have a girl,” Arcee said, “and then you won’t have a brother at all, you’ll have a sister.”
“Girls are dumb!” Daniel announced.
“It’s true,” Arcee said, sad and a little hurt.
“I didn’t mean you,” Daniel said. “You’re not a girl, you’re a robot.”
“If you do have a baby brother,” Kup said, “maybe you could replace it with a puppy and no one would notice. Puppies are mammals that move about on all fours, and babies are mammals that move about on all fours... it would probably take them a few years to notice, and by then they will be pretty attached to the dog.”
“That won’t work,” Daniel laughed. “Dogs have fur, and tails.”
“Maybe you’ll like your brother,” Hot Rod said. “Sideswipe and Sunstreaker like each other. And I liked my brother, before he was killed by malfunctioning safety equipment.”
“How can a robot have a brother?” Daniel asked.
“Well, the Cybertronian word is <ear-splitting shriek>,” Kup explained, “but the closest word in English is ‘brother’ or ‘family’. It’s a friend that you can’t choose, and you might not like. They’re a kindred spirit for better or worse.”
“How do you get one?” Daniel asked, shaking his head and trying to get the ringing out of his ears.
“Sorry about that,” Kup said. “Most Cybertronian words sound just like English, but that one is a horrible shriek. We don’t like it either, which is why we just use the English word “brother”. Anyway, you just kind of recognize your brothers. It’s all Vector Sigma’s doing.”
“But what if you don’t want a brother?”
“Now that reminds me of a story,” Kup said. “Back on Cybertron, Skids and his brother Mudflap were inseparable. They were both in Ultra Magnus’s Wreckers, and when Optimus was launching the Ark, he asked to borrow them, but Mudflap didn’t get there in time, and so they left without him.
“It wasn’t supposed to be a very long trip, so no one really worried about it. But they were separated for millions of years, until Ultra Magnus brought the Wreck here. And, when they were reunited, there were some problems...
“'Skids,' Ultra Magnus said, patting the theoretician on the back, 'I was wondering if you could help me with something.'”
Kups impression of Ultra Magnus was surprisingly good, capturing the city commander’s stiffness, and tendency towards gladhanding.
“Skids hesitated. 'I’ll do what I can...'
“Now, something to remember about Skids is that he was in stasis lock for 4.5 million years. He knew Ultra Magnus, and for him only a couple years passed. For Ultra Magnus, however, 4.5 million years had passed and he wasn’t quite the same bot.
“Really, all of the Autobots that weren’t on the Ark changed a bit, so for Skids, it was like meeting a bunch of bots that were all imposters. They looked like his friends, they acted like his friends, but there were a lot of little differences between the bots he knew and the bots who had arrived. Skids didn’t like that.
“'It’s your brother, Mudflap,' Ultra Magnus began, and Skids died a little bit inside. 'Ever since we arrived on Earth, the rest of the Wreckers have gotten along well enough with Optimus’s crew, but Mudflap seems to be making everyone uncomfortable.'
“'He does that...' Skids said, trying to distance himself from his brother’s antics. It wasn’t that he didn’t love his brother, it was just that he didn’t like him. Mudflap was always getting into trouble, and he had a way of dragging Skids into it.”
“I thought you said they were inseparable?” Daniel asked, interrupting the story.
“Well, that was more Mudflap’s doing than Skids, to be entirely honest,” Kup explained. “Wherever Skids would go, Mudflap would follow. Anyways, as I was saying...
“'Yes, yes, he does,' Ultra Magnus said. 'And while the Wreckers are mostly used to his antics, there has been some concerning moments.'
“Now here’s something you might not know, Daniel,” Kup said, interrupting his own story. “A lot of Autobots think that Ultra Magnus’s crew are called the Wreckers because they wreck things, but really, it’s just that the shuttle we used was a bit of a wreck so we named it that. The Wreckers call Optimus’s crew the Arkers. Anyway, back to the story. Ultra Magnus was berating Skids about Mudflap’s behavior.
“'Is this about Jazz?' Skids asked, sheepishly. Mudflap had taken a fondness to the urban culture of inner city african-american youth, with their Hip Hop and their Rap, and to be quite honest, Skids liked it too. However, Mudflap had crossed a line when he referred to Jazz as an 'Uncle Tom,' and began ridiculing his white-bread fondness for bands like Cold Slither.
“But I thought Jazz was cool...” Daniel said.
“Well, the thing about Jazz is that he woke up in 1984, and discovered all this great music that humans had. And for the next few years he was ecstatic, but then the 90s came, and grunge and hip hop, and Jazz just kept listening to Huey Lewis, Whitesnake, and Cold Slither.
“I’m not taking Mudflap’s side in this, but I’m not taking Jazz’s side either. Whitesnake is great, but Cold Slither is just terrible.
“'Well, the Jazz incident is part of it,' Ultra Magnus said. 'If it was just that once incident, it would be fine and everyone would forget about it, but there’s been a pattern of incidents. He referred to Carly’s sex life with Spike, he suggested that the Autobots should ration out the use of Arcee, he keeps using the phrase ‘pop a cap in your ass’ whatever that means, and he speaks in a dialect of English that is apparently racially insensitive.'
“'Shit, ni--' Skids began, using some of his brother’s colorful vernacular, before stopping himself. 'I’m sure he means nothing by it.'
“'Yes, well, when he does this, it reflects badly upon me as a leader, and it reflects badly upon you as his brother.'
“Skids shuddered when he heard that. He wasn’t the most popular of the Autobots, but everyone on Optimus’s team either didn’t mind him, or forgot he existed. It was a lot better than on Cybertron where Mudflap and Skids were well known and strongly disliked.
“Skids wished he could be popular, but he was realistic enough to know that this wasn’t going to happen. Obscurity was the best he could hope for, and Mudflap was ruining things for him again.
“'I’ve tried talking to him,' Ultra Magnus said, 'but I’ve gotten nowhere. I’m hoping you can get through to him where I couldn’t.'
“'What do you want me to do?' Skids asked, suppressing the urge to tell Ultra Magnus to take the carbon fiber post out of his exhaust port.
“'Try talking to him at the base, and if that doesn’t work, take him out on a long patrol.'
“'Gotcha,' Skids said. 'Long patrol.'
“A couple of days later, Skids tracked down Ultra Magnus in Autobot City.
“'I took care of it,' Skids said.
“'Took care of it?' Ultra Magnus asked, trying to remember what it was that Skids might have taken care of.
“'Mudflap won’t be embarrassing you any more.'
“'Good, but it’s not just about me, it’s about all of us. It’s about Autobots acting as a team, and when someone is undermining the team, it’s a problem.'
“'Well, whatever,' Skids said. 'He won’t be doing it anymore.'
“'Good,' Ultra Magnus said.
“There was a long, awkward silence,” Kup said, stopping for a bit to demonstrate the long uncomfortableness of the silence.
“Then what happened?” Daniel asked, excitedly.
“Oh, the long uncomfortable silence continued for a bit.” Kup replied, and resumed his silence.
After a few minutes, Daniel was getting bored. “How long did this uncomfortable silence last?”
“Oh,” Kup said, trying to remember what story he was telling. “Probably less than 15 seconds, but it felt like a lot longer. It felt like it was as long as this silence was.
“'Is there something else?' Ultra Magus asked.
“'Next time, do your own dirty work,' Skids replied. 'I’m not one of your Wreckers anymore, that was over a long time ago. You want a bot dead, you do it yourself.'
“'Dead?' Ultra Magnus asked, stunned.
“'You said to take him on a long patrol. So I did.'
“'I meant take him out and talk to him, away from everyone else so he wouldn’t get defensive.' Ultra Magnus was horrified.
“'I’m just a bot, not a mind reader,' Skids said. 'You should have been more specific.'
“'This is a problem,' Ultra Magnus said, understating the severity of the situation.
“'Hey, don’t look at me,' Skids replied. 'I was just following your orders.'
“Ultra Magnus sighed. To the uninformed, it might look like Skids was following orders. The Wreckers had a reputation for being tough and bending the rules -- and with Skids having once been a Wrecker, it looked bad.
“'It shouldn’t be a problem though,' Skids said. 'I did it out in grid 3H. There’s been a lot of Decepticon activity there, so it will look like he just got ambushed. I did it just like how you took care of Malignus Deceptibot.'
“Now, Malignus Deceptibot had been a Decepticon double agent that infiltrated the Wreckers millions of years ago on Cybertron, and who had curried favor with many of the Autobot leaders. Ultra Magnus took care of him on a patrol, confronted him, and then killed him, discarding the body as just another casualty of war. Wrecker justice was swift, harsh and with no appeals. Malignus Deceptibot’s betrayal wasn’t even common knowledge for a few more years, once his collaborators had been flushed out, and even then, Ultra Magnus’s role in his death was just a rumor.”
“How do you know any of this?” Arcee asked.
“Ultra Magnus tells me everything,” Kup explained.
“Do you really expect us to believe that Ultra Magnus would tell you about how he accidentally ordered the death of another Autobot?” Arcee questioned further. “Do you really expect us to believe he can be that dumb?”
“That’s where you’re wrong,” Kup countered. “It’s not dumb, it’s genius. No one believes my stories, so what better way to get rid of any suspicions?”
“He’s got a point,” Hot Rod said.
“I still don’t believe it,” Arcee replied.
“That’s his point,” Hot Rod replied.
Kup smiled smugly, and nodded approvingly at Hot Shot.
“I still don’t want a brother...” Daniel said, as if Kup’s story might have convinced him otherwise.
“Well then,” Kup said, “I’ll tell you what to do. Just slip this into your parents’ food, and you won’t have to worry about them having any more kids.”
Kup popped open a panel on his chest, and scraped some residue off a crumbling ancient component, and then offered it to Daniel.
“What is it?” Daniel asked.
“Better not to ask,” Hot Rod suggested.
“Don’t listen to him,” Kup said, gesturing towards Hot Rod. “It’s just a bit of my morality circuits that are crumbling away. The Cybertronium Oxide should render your parents sterile.”
-----------
Sometimes you get an idea for a story, but it’s a terrible, terrible idea. Luckily, we have Kup. This is, I guess, part of a series that includes “Why Shockwave Only Has One Hand” https://groups.google.com/d/msg/alt.toys.transformers/5364vyx-TG8/pQSJ09b6DYgJ
I blame Zobovor and his insane Kup story from “Children of Cybertron”. I wish I didn't have two other Kup Tales in the works.
'Malignus Deceptibot' has to be the worst name for a Decepticon spy ever. But it’s very much in keeping with the Sunbow cartoon, where names like 'Swindle' are common, so even 8 year olds can follow it.
Chad Rushing
May 27, 2012, 3:57:12 AM5/27/12
to
On May 27, 2:27 am, Gustavo Wombat <GustavoWom...@yahoo.com> wrote:
>
> “Maybe they’ll have a girl,” Arcee said, “and then you won’t have a brother
> at all, you’ll have a sister.”
>
> “Girls are dumb!” Daniel announced.
>
> “It’s true,” Arcee said, sad and a little hurt.
That exchange probably won't go over too well with the lady
>
> “Maybe they’ll have a girl,” Arcee said, “and then you won’t have a brother
> at all, you’ll have a sister.”
>
> “Girls are dumb!” Daniel announced.
>
> “It’s true,” Arcee said, sad and a little hurt.
Transfans ...
<story snipped>
So, that's why we never saw Mudflap on the G1 TV show ... makes
perfect sense. You've really got some skill at spinning these off-
camera yarns of yours, Mr. Wombat.
> 'Malignus Deceptibot' has to be the worst name for a Decepticon spy ever.
copycat from the SW: CLONE WARS TV show. I positively groaned the
first time I heard that character's name. The character was invented
by George Lucas' daughter if I am recalling the behind-the-scenes
short correctly.
- Chad
Velvet Glove
May 27, 2012, 2:03:06 PM5/27/12
to
Love it. Funny stuff... I will happily await further Kup Tales
On May 27, 3:27 am, Gustavo Wombat <GustavoWom...@yahoo.com> wrote:
>
> “What’s wrong, Daniel? Is it the jump suits?” Kup asked, understandably.
Aheheheh.
> “Girls are dumb!” Daniel announced.
>
> “It’s true,” Arcee said, sad and a little hurt.
Much as Chad suggested, this one went down like a lead balloon.
> “I didn’t mean you,” Daniel said. “You’re not a girl, you’re a robot.”
But this is funny and probably very accurate to Daniel's early
relationship with Arcee.
> “Now here’s something you might not know, Daniel,” Kup said, interrupting his own story. “A lot of Autobots think that Ultra Magnus’s crew are called the Wreckers because they wreck things, but really, it’s just that the shuttle we used was a bit of a wreck so we named it that. The Wreckers call Optimus’s crew the Arkers.
I also liked this. Just a nice touch.
> “'Is this about Jazz?' Skids asked, sheepishly. Mudflap had taken a fondness to the urban culture of inner city african-american youth, with their Hip Hop and their Rap, and to be quite honest, Skids liked it too. However, Mudflap had crossed a line when he referred to Jazz as an 'Uncle Tom,' and began ridiculing his white-bread fondness for bands like Cold Slither.
>
> “But I thought Jazz was cool...” Daniel said.
>
> “Well, the thing about Jazz is that he woke up in 1984, and discovered all this great music that humans had. And for the next few years he was ecstatic, but then the 90s came, and grunge and hip hop, and Jazz just kept listening to Huey Lewis, Whitesnake, and Cold Slither.
>
> “I’m not taking Mudflap’s side in this, but I’m not taking Jazz’s side either. Whitesnake is great, but Cold Slither is just terrible.
Nice reference to Cold Slither too... and I love the idea that Jazz
very quickly became outdated. Maybe he's really an old fuddy duddy
Transformer, who just happened to get into what was cool in the 1980s,
and had a few bonus years of being hip. And then nobody wanted to
hang around with him anymore, which would provide a canon reason for
why he got parked up in the Moonbase and was never really part of the
main Autobots again....
> “Do you really expect us to believe that Ultra Magnus would tell you about how he accidentally ordered the death of another Autobot?” Arcee questioned further. “Do you really expect us to believe he can be that dumb?”
>
> “That’s where you’re wrong,” Kup countered. “It’s not dumb, it’s genius. No one believes my stories, so what better way to get rid of any suspicions?”
>
> “He’s got a point,” Hot Rod said.
>
> “I still don’t believe it,” Arcee replied.
>
> “That’s his point,” Hot Rod replied.
>
> Kup smiled smugly, and nodded approvingly at Hot Shot.
Hot Rod, not Hot Shot. But of course... Kup is the ultimate cover.
> “Don’t listen to him,” Kup said, gesturing towards Hot Rod. “It’s just a bit of my morality circuits that are crumbling away. The Cybertronium Oxide should render your parents sterile.”
And... smirk. Explains a lot, doesn't it?
> Sometimes you get an idea for a story, but it’s a terrible, terrible idea. Luckily, we have Kup.
Why did I never think of this for all my terrible ideas for stories?
Though I don't think I could pull this off.
Velvet Glove (Kup should be in more continuities)
On May 27, 3:27 am, Gustavo Wombat <GustavoWom...@yahoo.com> wrote:
>
> “What’s wrong, Daniel? Is it the jump suits?” Kup asked, understandably.
> “Girls are dumb!” Daniel announced.
>
> “It’s true,” Arcee said, sad and a little hurt.
> “I didn’t mean you,” Daniel said. “You’re not a girl, you’re a robot.”
relationship with Arcee.
> “Now here’s something you might not know, Daniel,” Kup said, interrupting his own story. “A lot of Autobots think that Ultra Magnus’s crew are called the Wreckers because they wreck things, but really, it’s just that the shuttle we used was a bit of a wreck so we named it that. The Wreckers call Optimus’s crew the Arkers.
> “'Is this about Jazz?' Skids asked, sheepishly. Mudflap had taken a fondness to the urban culture of inner city african-american youth, with their Hip Hop and their Rap, and to be quite honest, Skids liked it too. However, Mudflap had crossed a line when he referred to Jazz as an 'Uncle Tom,' and began ridiculing his white-bread fondness for bands like Cold Slither.
>
> “But I thought Jazz was cool...” Daniel said.
>
> “Well, the thing about Jazz is that he woke up in 1984, and discovered all this great music that humans had. And for the next few years he was ecstatic, but then the 90s came, and grunge and hip hop, and Jazz just kept listening to Huey Lewis, Whitesnake, and Cold Slither.
>
> “I’m not taking Mudflap’s side in this, but I’m not taking Jazz’s side either. Whitesnake is great, but Cold Slither is just terrible.
very quickly became outdated. Maybe he's really an old fuddy duddy
Transformer, who just happened to get into what was cool in the 1980s,
and had a few bonus years of being hip. And then nobody wanted to
hang around with him anymore, which would provide a canon reason for
why he got parked up in the Moonbase and was never really part of the
main Autobots again....
> “Do you really expect us to believe that Ultra Magnus would tell you about how he accidentally ordered the death of another Autobot?” Arcee questioned further. “Do you really expect us to believe he can be that dumb?”
>
> “That’s where you’re wrong,” Kup countered. “It’s not dumb, it’s genius. No one believes my stories, so what better way to get rid of any suspicions?”
>
> “He’s got a point,” Hot Rod said.
>
> “I still don’t believe it,” Arcee replied.
>
> “That’s his point,” Hot Rod replied.
>
> Kup smiled smugly, and nodded approvingly at Hot Shot.
> “Don’t listen to him,” Kup said, gesturing towards Hot Rod. “It’s just a bit of my morality circuits that are crumbling away. The Cybertronium Oxide should render your parents sterile.”
> Sometimes you get an idea for a story, but it’s a terrible, terrible idea. Luckily, we have Kup.
Though I don't think I could pull this off.
Velvet Glove (Kup should be in more continuities)
Gustavo Wombat
May 27, 2012, 3:28:43 PM5/27/12
to
On Sunday, May 27, 2012 11:03:06 AM UTC-7, Velvet Glove wrote:
> Love it. Funny stuff... I will happily await further Kup Tales
>
> On May 27, 3:27 am, Gustavo Wombat <GustavoWom...@yahoo.com> wrote:
> >
> > “What’s wrong, Daniel? Is it the jump suits?” Kup asked, understandably.
>
> Aheheheh.
>
> > “Girls are dumb!” Daniel announced.
> >
> > “It’s true,” Arcee said, sad and a little hurt.
>
> Much as Chad suggested, this one went down like a lead balloon.
Sorry about that. For the record, I have not actually thought that girls were dumb since I was 8 or so.
> Love it. Funny stuff... I will happily await further Kup Tales
>
> On May 27, 3:27 am, Gustavo Wombat <GustavoWom...@yahoo.com> wrote:
> >
> > “What’s wrong, Daniel? Is it the jump suits?” Kup asked, understandably.
>
> Aheheheh.
>
> > “Girls are dumb!” Daniel announced.
> >
> > “It’s true,” Arcee said, sad and a little hurt.
>
> Much as Chad suggested, this one went down like a lead balloon.
I've actually found myself using "it's true" to highlight people's incredibly stupid, overly broad and incorrect generalizations, where the meaning that comes across is closer to "you're an idiot for thinking that, and I'm not going to bother correcting you." And it gets people very defensive very quickly.
I'm not sure whether it's a regional thing, or something I picked up from one of my friends (and possibly a regional thing from wherever that friend might be from), or something I picked up from TV.
Filing away the useful fact that it doesn't work in writing.
> > “I didn’t mean you,” Daniel said. “You’re not a girl, you’re a robot.”
>
> But this is funny and probably very accurate to Daniel's early
> relationship with Arcee.
> Nice reference to Cold Slither too... and I love the idea that Jazz
> very quickly became outdated. Maybe he's really an old fuddy duddy
> Transformer, who just happened to get into what was cool in the 1980s,
> and had a few bonus years of being hip. And then nobody wanted to
> hang around with him anymore, which would provide a canon reason for
> why he got parked up in the Moonbase and was never really part of the
> main Autobots again....
Also, it always bothered me that Jazz didn't actually have any demonstrated interest in jazz.
> > Sometimes you get an idea for a story, but it’s a terrible, terrible idea. Luckily, we have Kup.
>
> Why did I never think of this for all my terrible ideas for stories?
> Though I don't think I could pull this off.
I call dibs on "Why Starscream Became A Decepticon" though.
Velvet Glove
May 28, 2012, 9:22:19 AM5/28/12
to
On May 27, 3:28 pm, Gustavo Wombat <GustavoWom...@yahoo.com> wrote:
>
> I've actually found myself using "it's true" to highlight people's incredibly stupid, overly broad and incorrect generalizations, where the meaning that comes across is closer to "you're an idiot for thinking that, and I'm not going to bother correcting you." And it gets people very defensive very quickly.
>
> I'm not sure whether it's a regional thing, or something I picked up from one of my friends (and possibly a regional thing from wherever that friend might be from), or something I picked up from TV.
>
> Filing away the useful fact that it doesn't work in writing.
Ah, now I get what you were aiming at. I actually figured that you
>
> I've actually found myself using "it's true" to highlight people's incredibly stupid, overly broad and incorrect generalizations, where the meaning that comes across is closer to "you're an idiot for thinking that, and I'm not going to bother correcting you." And it gets people very defensive very quickly.
>
> I'm not sure whether it's a regional thing, or something I picked up from one of my friends (and possibly a regional thing from wherever that friend might be from), or something I picked up from TV.
>
> Filing away the useful fact that it doesn't work in writing.
were either doing it to be provocative, which I never find funny, or
that it was a comment on G1 Arcee's tendency towards passivity,
mocking it with the extreme that she'll meekly agree that girls are
dumb. It's difficult to argue against that interpretation of her,
since G1 Arcee is so vague and inconsistent, but it still wouldn't
have been something I appreciated for humour purposes.
Of course, it *would* have been inconsistent with your later portrayal
of Arcee refusing to believe Kup's story, but I didn't think of that.
> > > “I didn’t mean you,” Daniel said. “You’re not a girl, you’re a robot.”
>
> > But this is funny and probably very accurate to Daniel's early
> > relationship with Arcee.
>
> See, Daniel got defensive. It works, I tell you.
but as you said, it doesn't work so well in text. I think you needed
a different mood for Arcee than 'sad and a little hurt'.
> Also, it always bothered me that Jazz didn't actually have any demonstrated interest in jazz.
If he were into jazz, he could be a more classic, timeless kind of
cool. Though a lot of people don't like jazz, so that's probably
why. I think the name Jazz is more referring to jazzy rather than the
music-type.
> I think there could be many different styles of Kup tales, depending on who he is telling the stories to, and whether he is telling a true story or just wildly embellishing something. I'm sure you could make your own Kup Tales that work beautifully and are distinctively yours.
good story for him. I should work on that.
> I call dibs on "Why Starscream Became A Decepticon" though.
Velvet Glove (though if Kup started calling Daniel "Best Beloved" that
would be kind of weird...)
Chad Rushing
May 28, 2012, 2:53:38 PM5/28/12
to
On May 28, 8:22 am, Velvet Glove <goo...@kernowgirl.co.uk> wrote:
>
> Come to think of it, Jazz is always a very datable kind of cool-ness.
> If he were into jazz, he could be a more classic, timeless kind of
> cool. Though a lot of people don't like jazz, so that's probably
> why. I think the name Jazz is more referring to jazzy rather than the
> music-type.
I guess Jazz is the Disco Stu of the Transformers universe.
>
> Come to think of it, Jazz is always a very datable kind of cool-ness.
> If he were into jazz, he could be a more classic, timeless kind of
> cool. Though a lot of people don't like jazz, so that's probably
> why. I think the name Jazz is more referring to jazzy rather than the
> music-type.
- Chad
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