THE GREAT SATAN'S MOON LANDING HOAX: The truth is finally revealed!
Fed Konrad
THE GREAT MOON LANDING HOAX: The truth is finally revealed!
http://blog.seattlepi.com/movielady/2011/07/23/the-great-moon-landing-hoax-the-truth-is-finally-revealed/
This week marked the 42nd anniversary of the Apollo 11 landing. It
seems like a good time to officially release the account of one of my
earliest assignments.
In the Spring of 1969, while I was still in college studying
journalism, I was commissioned by the LA Times to write a piece
comparing the way Hollywood treats the subject of space travel to the
realities of the Apollo Space Program itself. This was to be one of
your run-of-the-mill fluff pieces that would end up in their Sunday
morning magazine insert.
That sounds innocent enough, doesn�t it?
Well, I ended up with a lot more than I had bargained for.
My article has been kept from the public for almost 41 years, but I
can�t sit on this forever. Most of the principals are dead and I�m not
getting any younger, after all. So, for better or worse, I am bringing
my story to you in its entirety.
As Shakespeare said almost 600 years ago, �The Truth will out.�
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
April 17, 1969
Picture
I wandered around the MGM back lot for over an hour before I saw it.
It was a typical smoggy, lung-busting day in Los Angeles. I finally
stumbled across the little-used soundstage tucked away in the back,
right next to the old train station set. The area looked deserted and
the only sound was that of chattering cicadas drilling their racket
mercilessly into my brain.
Picture
The Butt-End
I was just about to turn around and head back to my car when I heard
my name called.
�Jan, over here.�
It was Stanley Kubrick and he was walking toward me at a fast clip. I
had met him at a lecture a couple of years ago and sensing that he was
three sheets to the wind; I offered to be his �designated driver� that
night. We became fast friends after that.
�Jan, I�m so glad you came. You are the only one I can trust.�
�SK, you old bastard. You�re always one for secrecy and dramatics.
What�s going on here? Why did you drag me out to the butt end of the
MGM back lot?�
�We can�t talk here. Follow me.�
He led me in the direction of the soundstage. We stopped at the door.
Picture
The Sound Stage!
�Jan,� he said, �What you are about to see is going to blow your mind,
if you�ll excuse the hipster hyperbole. But I have to ask you to not
breathe a word of it to anyone.�
�But��
�No �buts�. You�ve heard the old joke about the CIA agent who was
asked about his job and he replied, �I can tell you, but then I would
have to kill you.� Well, take my word for it, Jan. What you are about
to see is no joke.�
My curiosity got the better of me and I agreed to clam up�for now.�
He swung the door open and a cacophony of hammering and sawing
immediately filled the dusty air. Kubrick ushered me in and quickly
closed the, apparently, soundproofed door behind us.
I gasped as I tried to take in everything that was laid out in front
of me.
�Pretty impressive, even if I do say so myself,� said Kubrick.
�S..s..s..Stan, what is this, a set left over from �2001??� I
stammered.
Picture
�Welcome to the surface if the Moon.�
�Welcome to the surface of the moon,� Kubrick proudly proclaimed.
�Guys, knock off the noise, will ya�? I�m trying to talk here.�
He escorted me onto the set and calmly introduced me to most of the
crew. I couldn�t shake the feeling that I wasn�t in Kansas anymore. I
finally found my voice.
�Is this some type of museum diorama, Stan?�
Kubrick put his finger to his lips and motioned for me to follow him
into his small office.
�Nope. This is the real thing, or at least as real as we can get given
the technology we have to work with. And for all intents and purposes,
for the rest of the world, this will be the only �moon surface� they
will ever know.�
�What are you talking about?�
�Jan,� he said. �You�re going to need to sit down for the rest of
this.
I obliged and rummaged around in my purse for my notepad.
�No. Put that away,� he said. �This is all �off the record�. Just keep
your ears open because I might need you to remember this at some time
in the future.�
Picture
Laika-the first Astrodog
�To start off, we have to go back to the beginning of the Cold War. We
have been in what is basically a psychological battle with the Soviet
Union since the end of World War II. It�s been a nonstop pissing
contest. We took a major hit when Sputnik went up and we have been
scrambling to catch up ever since.
First they put a dog in orbit, and then we sent up some chimps. They
sent up some more dogs. Finally, Yuri Gagarin became the first man
and, more importantly, the first Russian man in space. John Glenn
followed the next year but we just couldn�t seem to gain any ground on
those Rooskies.�
�Then in 1962, Kennedy raised the stakes. He claimed that we would put
a man on the moon by the end of the decade and bring him back safely
to earth.
Hell, NASA just about crapped their pants when they heard that. You
see, there was never any problem with getting a man to the moon, but
getting him back was, in every scientist�s opinion, an impossibly
tough nut to crack.�
�Obviously, that has all changed, right? Apollo 11 is due to go up in
a couple of months,� I said.
�Here�s where it gets a little tricky, Jan. NASA tried everything they
could to meet Kennedy�s deadline, but it was no dice. It just isn�t
going to happen. That�s where I come in.�
A light in my brain was starting to flicker.
Stan went on, �I was approached by someone, who shall remain nameless,
after the premier of �2001? and I was asked to contribute my technical
know-how for a �special project� the government was about to
undertake.�
�Holy Crap!� I exclaimed. You�re going to fake the moon landing!
�I�m gonna� do my best,� he said proudly.
�How are you going to keep it secret, for crying out loud, you have a
whole crew working out there?�
Picture
Oh, really?
�Relax, I have that covered. They all think they are working on a
sequel to �2001?.� And as far as the �astronauts� are concerned,
they�re all CIA operatives.�
�I don�t get it, Stan, why tell me?�
�I need some insurance, Jan. These government guys are some tough
characters. They are capable of doing pretty much anything to keep
this story under wraps. I need to make sure that someone else is in on
the story.�
�Thanks, old pal, are you saying that my neck is on the line now too?�
�Not quite. All I need you to do keep a record of the details. I�m
going to use the old �there�s a letter that will be opened if I should
die unexpectedly� ploy. That always works in the movies. Naturally,
your name will never come up.�
I sat back, scratched my head and said, �SK, you never cease to amaze
me.�
*****
Picture
Prop Rock �C�
About two months later, the �Moonwalk� mini-series played to a
world-wide TV audience. It was convincing enough for the average
layman.
Picture
Mismatched Shadows
But, knowing what I knew, it was easy to spot the �flubs,� like flags
fluttering in a supposed vacuum, �moon� rocks with prop letters etched
into them, weird lighting and cockeyed shadows.
Picture
~~~~~
I know that there is no way to connect me to this thing, but I have a
feeling I am going the keep the Seconal company in business for many
years to come.
Signed,
Janice Dodero
July, 1969
~~~~~
Editor�s note: Recent polls have shown that 20% of the population
believes that the moon landing was faked.
~~~~~