A Question I have about sex.
merry mcgrath
medicine cabinet? She didn't want to wake up the sleeping pills. 2.
What's the best way to catch a fish? Have someone throw it to you.
3. Where did the baseball catcher sit down for dinner? Behind the
plate. 4. What washes up on really small beaches? Microwaves.
dave manvell
pardon me, but what has this got to do with sex?
dave
--
__&__
/ \ "I am Homer of the Borg. You will be assimilated.
| | Resistance is irrelevant. Preparation is irrel...
^^(o)(o) Mmmm... doughnuts!"
C ,---_)
| ,___| Dave Manvell
| \___/ (da...@breacais.demon.co.uk)
/ \
/______/ \ URL: http://www.breacais.demon.co.uk/dave/david.htm
Wallace
dave manvell wrote in message ...
>pardon me, but what has this got to do with sex?
She's trying to keep the string ''I have a Question about sex'' going so she
keeps restarting it in a new thread.
Cat
dave manvell
>>pardon me, but what has this got to do with sex?
>
>She's trying to keep the string ''I have a Question about sex'' going so she
>keeps restarting it in a new thread.
aah, but why is she trying to keep it going?
Wallace
dave manvell wrote in message ...
>>>pardon me, but what has this got to do with sex?
>>
>>She's trying to keep the string ''I have a Question about sex'' going so
she
>>keeps restarting it in a new thread.
>
>aah, but why is she trying to keep it going?
She has a bet with her brother that she can keep it going for a year.
Cat
dave manvell
>>>She's trying to keep the string ''I have a Question about sex'' going so
>she
>>>keeps restarting it in a new thread.
>>
>>aah, but why is she trying to keep it going?
>
>She has a bet with her brother that she can keep it going for a year.
well, i think we are the answers to her prayers. ;)
merry mcgrath
from prison? A small medium at large. 2. What did the tie say to
the hat? "You go on ahead while I hang around." 3. What did the
pantyhose say to the stocking? "I'd love to stay around, but I gotta
run."
merry mcgrath
Usenet. I hope come January I make the squad, and that U.S.C. will be
my new school. Do I feel any pressure? No way!! I always drink two
bottles of vodka a day. :-))
merry mcgrath
started it again, now I see it in two different locations. I'll
continue from this point.
merry mcgrath
tired than usual. His boss asked him what the matter was. He replied
that he couldn't get to sleep last night. Trying to be helpful, the
boss said he should try counting sheep. "I did," the accountant
answered, "and that was the problem. I made a mistake, and it took me
the rest of the night to find it."
dave manvell
dave manvell
>started it again, now I see it in two different locations. I'll
>continue from this point.
fair enough. :) i suppose your the person whos trying to keep it up.
well, i hate to burst your bubble, but me and cat are going away, so
you'll need some other people to fill in. :)
Wallace
dave manvell wrote in message ...
>>Laugh Lines. (Accountants.) The accountant came to work looking more
>>tired than usual. His boss asked him what the matter was. He replied
>>that he couldn't get to sleep last night. Trying to be helpful, the
>>boss said he should try counting sheep. "I did," the accountant
>>answered, "and that was the problem. I made a mistake, and it took me
>>the rest of the night to find it."
>
>SHEEEEEPP... NOOOOOOOOO... MAKE THE VOICE STOP!
I was expecting something about a special relationship between the
accountant and the sheep. Oh dear, what has my mind been reduced to??
Cat
dave manvell
pleeaase don't talk about sheep.
dave
merry mcgrath
long wait to adopt a baby came to an end. The adoption center called
and told them they had a wonderful Japanese boy, and so the couple took
him without hesitation. On the way home, they stopped by a local
college to enroll in night courses. After they filled out forms, the
registration clerk asked, "Why are you trying to learn to speak
Japanese?" The couple replied, "In a year or so, our adopted son will
soon be talking. We want to make sure we understand him."
merry mcgrath
street? One was assaulted. 2. Why does the golfer wear two pairs of
pants? In case he gets a hole in one. 3. If a mouse lost his tail,
where would he get a new one? At the retail store.
merry mcgrath
can. This Usenet thing is kind of fun.
dave manvell
>can. This Usenet thing is kind of fun.
btw, bad jokes are only going to stop people from posting. tell good
ones. hmmmmm.... *looks in book of jokes*.....
Q. what was the first thing adam said to eve?
A. stand back, i doon't know how big this thing gets
Wallace
dave manvell wrote in message ...
>>>SHEEEEEPP... NOOOOOOOOO... MAKE THE VOICE STOP!
>>
>>I was expecting something about a special relationship between the
>>accountant and the sheep. Oh dear, what has my mind been reduced to??
>
>pleeaase don't talk about sheep.
I won't if you won't.
Cat
Wallace
dave manvell wrote in message
>>To all who are going away, don't stay a stranger. Come on back when you
>>can. This Usenet thing is kind of fun.
>
>btw, bad jokes are only going to stop people from posting. tell good
>ones. hmmmmm.... *looks in book of jokes*.....
>
>Q. what was the first thing adam said to eve?
>
>A. stand back, i doon't know how big this thing gets
No. 3 nuns were killed in a car crash and St Peter asked them each a
question as they were entering heaven. The first was just a novice so he
said ''Who were the first two people on earth?'' and she replied ''easy,
Adam and Eve'' and he said ''yep, you're in'' Then he turned to the second
nun and said ''I'll ask you a slightly harder one. Which animal tempted
Eve?'' and the second nun replied ''Easy, a snake'' and he said ''Yep,
you're in'' Then he turned to the third nun who was a Mother Superior and
said ''As you're mother superior I'm going to have to make your question
slightly more difficult. What was the first thing that Eve said to Adam
when they realised that they were naked?'' and the mother superior looked
confused and said ''That _is_ a hard one'' and he said ''yep, you're in''
Oh, haha. The Vicar of Dibley is such a wonderful source... It's better
with Alice's reaction tho.
Cat
dave manvell
dave manvell
>
>dave manvell wrote in message
>
yeah, i know that joke. :) not a bad one. :) i liked my whats black,
white, and red all over? a nun with a spear through her head. ;) i made
that one up. :)
SuperDude
>>>>She's trying to keep the string ''I have a Question about sex'' going so
>>she
>>>>keeps restarting it in a new thread.
>>>aah, but why is she trying to keep it going?
>>She has a bet with her brother that she can keep it going for a year.
>well, i think we are the answers to her prayers. ;)
I don't. It just won't work... I want it to last a year, but it won't...
SuperDude
SuperDude
>>>Laugh Lines. (Accountants.) The accountant came to work looking more
>>>tired than usual. His boss asked him what the matter was. He replied
>>>that he couldn't get to sleep last night. Trying to be helpful, the
>>>boss said he should try counting sheep. "I did," the accountant
>>>answered, "and that was the problem. I made a mistake, and it took me
>>>the rest of the night to find it."
>>SHEEEEEPP... NOOOOOOOOO... MAKE THE VOICE STOP!
>I was expecting something about a special relationship between the
>accountant and the sheep. Oh dear, what has my mind been reduced to??
Well, I found a joke in alt.jokes.pentium about relationships with sheep.
I'll copy and paste it...
*searches in other ng...*
*doesn't find anything...*
Okay, so I won't paste it...
Well, I'll paste another one...
One day Jesus and Moses are sitting in a boat talking. They get to
talking about the old days and they decide to test their own powers.
Moses
goes first. He stands up in the boat and spreads his arms and the water
parts around them and before they know it they're sitting on the bottom
of
the lake. He lowers his arms and the water returns to normal.
It's Jesus' turn now. He stands up and is about to step onto the
water, but when he tries he sinks right to the bottom. When he finally
crawls back in the boat, Moses asks him what happened.
Jesus replies, "I forgot about these damn holes in my feet."
I know it's a bad one...
*worrying...*
Okay, I'll post another one...
It was time for Father John's Saturday night bath, and young nun,
Sister Magdalene had prepared the bath water and towels just the way
the old nun had instructed.
Sister Magdalene was also instructed not to look at Fr. John's
nakedness if she could help it, do whatever he told her to do, and pray.
The next morning the old nun asked Sister Magdalene how the Saturday
night bath had gone.
"Oh, sister," said the young nun dreamily. "I've been saved."
"Saved? And how did that fine thing come about?" asked the old nun.
"Well, when Fr. John was soaking in the tub, he asked me to wash him,
and while I was washing him he guided my hand down between his legs
where he said the Lord keeps the Key to Heaven."
"Did he now?" said the old nun evenly.
Sister Magdalene continued, "And Fr. John said that if the Key to
Heaven fit my lock, the portals of Heaven would be opened to me and I
would be assured of salvation and eternal peace. And then Father John
guided his Key to Heaven into my lock."
"Is that a fact?" said the old nun even more evenly.
"At first it hurt terribly, but Fr. John said the pathway to salvation
was often painful and that the glory of God would soon swell my heart
with ecstasy. And it did, it felt so good being saved."
"That wicked old Devil!" said the old nun. "He told me it was
Gabriel's Horn, and I've been blowing it for 40 years!"
Just don't think I'm a pervert.
I received it from a friend who's certainly not perverted...
Sorry...
SuperDude
SuperDude
>>>To all who are going away, don't stay a stranger. Come on back when you
>>>can. This Usenet thing is kind of fun.
>>btw, bad jokes are only going to stop people from posting. tell good
>>ones. hmmmmm.... *looks in book of jokes*.....
>>Q. what was the first thing adam said to eve?
>>A. stand back, i doon't know how big this thing gets
>No. 3 nuns were killed in a car crash and St Peter asked them each a
>question as they were entering heaven. The first was just a novice so he
>said ''Who were the first two people on earth?'' and she replied ''easy,
>Adam and Eve'' and he said ''yep, you're in'' Then he turned to the second
>nun and said ''I'll ask you a slightly harder one. Which animal tempted
>Eve?'' and the second nun replied ''Easy, a snake'' and he said ''Yep,
>you're in'' Then he turned to the third nun who was a Mother Superior and
>said ''As you're mother superior I'm going to have to make your question
>slightly more difficult. What was the first thing that Eve said to Adam
>when they realised that they were naked?'' and the mother superior looked
>confused and said ''That _is_ a hard one'' and he said ''yep, you're in''
A farmer was restoring his farm. As the architect was redrawing his garden,
the farmer said to the architect: "This tree has to stay".
The architect asked: "Why?"
"Well, under this tree I made love for the first time in my life..." was his
answer.
A bit later the farmer said: "This tree also has to stay. Under this tree
HER mother watched us the first time making love..."
The architect was confused and asked: "What did she (=the mother) say?"
The farmer answered: "Bиииииииииh!"
Okay, I'd better stop posting jokes...
SuperDude
merry mcgrath
so plentiful these days, don't you think?
merry mcgrath
everyone. Like songs, there's different types of jokes for varied
tastes. I would be very interested if the late Benny Hill had ever
written a joke book or two. I liked his humor, and I will always regard
him as among the best in his field. I notice Tracy Ullmann does a bland
version of Benny's routines.
merry mcgrath
At least for the sheep's sake.
merry mcgrath
white and has 16 wheels? A zebra on roller skates. 2. Why do cows
read the newspaper? To see what moo-vies are playing.
Wallace
dave manvell wrote in message
>>Oh, haha. The Vicar of Dibley is such a wonderful source... It's better
>>with Alice's reaction tho.
>
>yeah, i know that joke. :) not a bad one. :) i liked my whats black,
>white, and red all over? a nun with a spear through her head. ;) i made
>that one up. :)
It's... lovely. No, well done, very clever. I liked Alice's knock-knock
jokes. Today we were in maths and Hannah was being every dim. If we told
her any clever or dirty jokes she didn;t get them but was cracking up and
laughing hysterically at ''doctor doctor'' or ''waiter waiter'' jokes. And
the bad moral ones. ie
There was a green man who lived in a green house and he was in the shower
and he heard the doorbell ring and it sounded urgent so we put a towel round
his waist and went and answered the door and there was a woman there who had
broken down but as he opened the door he dropped his towel and the woman ran
accross the road screaming and was hit by a car. Moral: Never cross while
the green man's flashing.
And:
Then was a boy born with just a head and he was told to go back to the
hospital every 6 weeks to get new body parts put on. After a few years he
had a body and arms and was looking out the window. He said ''mummy, I want
my legs so I can go out and play with the other children'' and his mum said
''you're getting your legs tomorrow, you'll be able to play then'' The next
day he got his legs and went out to play with the other children but got
knocked down and killed by a car. Moral: (ohohoh, eternal flame's on
:)))) ) quit while you're ahead. (a head.. haha)
I left her confused for over the holidays with
''You go into a forest and there are crossroads. One road goes the way you
*have* to go, the other one leads to certain death. You don;t know which
way to go but there is a man standing at the crossroads. You know that he
lies one day, then tells the tuth the next, but no-one knows which day is
which. You can only ask him which question to find out which way to go.
What do you ask?'' I even explained it to her but both her and Tracey were
still confused. But Gemma got it and said she's meet up with her in the
holidays, just to explain it to her!! I was surprised Gemma got it coz she
didn;t even listen to it as I said what the problem was. She was too busy
writing a poem about me. It went
'' I am Cat
I'm a bod
and I'm madly in love with someone I've never met''
Well, I;m flattered. Wow! I can't believe I wrote that much crap!!
Sorry...
Cat
Wallace
dave manvell wrote in message
>>>>>*********... NOOOOOOOOO... MAKE THE VOICE STOP!
>>>>
>>>>I was expecting something about a special relationship between the
>>>>accountant and the *****. Oh dear, what has my mind been reduced to??
>>>
>>>pleeaase don't talk about *****.
>>
>>I won't if you won't.
>
>good. keep ***** to akt, please. :)
Good idea. I hate ***** :)
Cat
dave manvell
>Here's some Tracy Ullmann blandness-type jokes. 1. What is black and
>white and has 16 wheels?
a nun bent over a chair on roller skates?
> A zebra on roller skates.
ahh... maybe not...
> 2. Why do cows
>read the newspaper?
why do humans read papers?
>To see what moo-vies are playing.
>
--
dave manvell
the best comedian in history... no comparison... billy connelly. he _is_
_the_ best. :))))))
dave
dave manvell
what about supedudes ***** joke. it was a blast. :)
dave manvell
>A farmer was restoring his farm. As the architect was redrawing his garden,
>the farmer said to the architect: "This tree has to stay".
>The architect asked: "Why?"
>"Well, under this tree I made love for the first time in my life..." was his
>answer.
>A bit later the farmer said: "This tree also has to stay. Under this tree
>HER mother watched us the first time making love..."
>The architect was confused and asked: "What did she (=the mother) say?"
>The farmer answered: "Bиииииииииh!"
>
>Okay, I'd better stop posting jokes...
HAHAHAHAHA. that one had me cracking up. :)))
dave manvell
>Let's hope these laugh lines don't turn into something too grotesque.
yeah, well, nobody'll miss a ***** here or there now, will they *evil
grin* **brandishes meat cleaver*
dave manvell
>>>>aah, but why is she trying to keep it going?
>
>>>She has a bet with her brother that she can keep it going for a year.
>
>>well, i think we are the answers to her prayers. ;)
>
>
>I don't. It just won't work... I want it to last a year, but it won't...
yeah, well we've got to try. :) we'll keep it going when cats away,
then you and merry can keep it up the week that we're both away. :)
Strange Glue
>then you and merry can keep it up the week that we're both away. :)
>
>dave
What are you lot on about?
Strange Glue
merry mcgrath
in common? They both have a bark. 2. How do you make gold soup?
Put in 14 carrots. 3. How do camels disguise themselves? They use
camelflage.
merry mcgrath
magazines? I guess nobody cares that the air we breathe is basically
poison.
merry mcgrath
regulate the sale of alcohol to minors, why can't they regulate the
ever-rising cost of college tuitions??
merry mcgrath
is at the forefront of change. I say big deal. Look at how many
nations claimed to have 'changed', and then look at the mess this world
is still in.
Wallace
dave manvell wrote in message ...
>>>>>pleeaase don't talk about *****.
>>>>
>>>>I won't if you won't.
>>>
>>>good. keep ***** to akt, please. :)
>>
>>Good idea. I hate ***** :)
>
>what about supedudes ***** joke. it was a blast. :)
Yeah, that was good. I was telling essex jokes in maths the other day and
they said ''you're so out of order to essex girls, tell a scottish one'' so
I did your ''source of enertainment on Skye'' and they didn't get it. I
found out later in the lesson that they thought I meant SkyTV. (They're soo
thick)
Cat
dave manvell
>>>>good. keep ***** to akt, please. :)
>>>
>>>Good idea. I hate ***** :)
>>
>>what about supedudes ***** joke. it was a blast. :)
>
>Yeah, that was good. I was telling essex jokes in maths the other day and
>they said ''you're so out of order to essex girls, tell a scottish one'' so
>I did your ''source of enertainment on Skye'' and they didn't get it. I
>found out later in the lesson that they thought I meant SkyTV. (They're soo
>thick)
hehe! how completely retarded can you get? what a bunch of bimbos. :)
dave manvell
well, merry thingamajig has bet her brother she can keep it going for a
year. i reckon she should just crosspost it to twenty newsgroups.
Wallace
dave manvell wrote in message
>>Yeah, that was good. I was telling essex jokes in maths the other day and
>>they said ''you're so out of order to essex girls, tell a scottish one''
so
>>I did your ''source of enertainment on Skye'' and they didn't get it. I
>>found out later in the lesson that they thought I meant SkyTV. (They're
soo
>>thick)
>
>hehe! how completely retarded can you get? what a bunch of bimbos. :)
Yeah well, it took a lot of explaining... sometimes I really wonder why I
bother.
Cat
merry mcgrath
(Not yet, anyway.) :-))
merry mcgrath
himself by getting athletes to use clothing or gear that bore a client's
name. However, his greatest feat was convincing boxers to accept
advertising on the bottoms of their shoes.
merry mcgrath
destruction' type missile. Could it be nuclear?? Can you afford to
think otherwise? I would advise everyone to put off their kitchen
remodel projects, and begin their backyard bomb shelter project.
dave manvell
>>hehe! how completely retarded can you get? what a bunch of bimbos. :)
>
>Yeah well, it took a lot of explaining... sometimes I really wonder why I
>bother.
hmmm... whats the point in life?
dave manvell
mcgrath <merry...@webtv.net> writes
>Hey Dave, the name's McGrath, and no, I'm not a member of the I.R.A.
>(Not yet, anyway.) :-))
stop bloody posting so many jokes. :/ if you try bringing up an
interesting conversation, maybe more people would post. :/
Wallace
dave manvell wrote in message ...
>>>hehe! how completely retarded can you get? what a bunch of bimbos. :)
>>
>>Yeah well, it took a lot of explaining... sometimes I really wonder why I
>>bother.
>
>hmmm... whats the point in life?
I hadn't realised there was one. Anyway, you're supposed to be the
all-knowing one. ''Sometimes I wonder why I bother'' That's another one
I'm considering for a sig. Or some totally made up question to confuse
people and pretend that it has deep meaning :)
Cat
dave manvell
>>hmmm... whats the point in life?
>
>I hadn't realised there was one. Anyway, you're supposed to be the
>all-knowing one. ''Sometimes I wonder why I bother'' That's another one
>I'm considering for a sig. Or some totally made up question to confuse
>people and pretend that it has deep meaning :)
i got a new sig. i made it today, cos me and jess are talking about
***** being able to fly. :)
--
______ ____
`----,\ ) *****... Oh yes.. They _can_ fly. ;)
`--==\\ /
`--==\\/
.-~~~~-.Y|__
@@/ / ¤¤\
| \_<\_Ð
| |--| || 'BAAA'
\_\ \_\\
Wallace
dave manvell wrote in message ...
>>>hmmm... whats the point in life?
>>
>>I hadn't realised there was one. Anyway, you're supposed to be the
>>all-knowing one. ''Sometimes I wonder why I bother'' That's another one
>>I'm considering for a sig. Or some totally made up question to confuse
>>people and pretend that it has deep meaning :)
>
>i got a new sig. i made it today, cos me and jess are talking about
>***** being able to fly. :)
It's .... surreal! Are you going to replace Homer??
Cat
>--
>
> ______ ____
> `----,\ ) *****... Oh yes.. They _can_ fly. ;)
> `--==\\ /
> `--==\\/
> .-~~~~-.Y|__
>@@/ / คค\
> | \_<\_ะ
> | |--| || 'BAAA'
> \_\ \_\\
>
merry mcgrath
astronauts couldn't go to the moon? Because it was full. 2. What's
worse than a giraffe with a sore throat? A centipede with sore feet.
3. Why did the camper leave his watch behind? Because it was full of
ticks.
dave manvell
>>i got a new sig. i made it today, cos me and jess are talking about
>>***** being able to fly. :)
>
>It's .... surreal! Are you going to replace Homer??
>Cat
nope. i'm only going to post it in reply to messages with *****
references in them. :)
> ______ ____
>> `----,\ ) *****... Oh yes.. They _can_ fly. ;)
>> `--==\\ /
>> `--==\\/
>> .-~~~~-.Y|__
>>@@/ / ¤¤\
>> | \_<\_Ð
>> | |--| || 'BAAA'
>> \_\ \_\\
i've improved on it now. :)
--
______ ____
`----,\ ) *****... oh yes.. They _can_ fly. ;)
`--==\\ /
`--==\\/
.-~~~~-.Y|\_
/ / 66\
®®\ \_<\_Ð
@| ||-| || 'baaaaa'
@ \_\\ \_\\
@
@
Sunil Rao
could you PLEASE stop posting this crap???? It is highly irritating!
--
"I see you have books under your arm, brother. It is indeed a rare pleasure
these days to come across somebody that still reads, brother."
- Anthony Burgess
Wallace
Cat
merry mcgrath wrote in message
Wallace
dave manvell wrote in message ...
>>>i got a new sig. i made it today, cos me and jess are talking about
>>>***** being able to fly. :)
>>
>>It's .... surreal! Are you going to replace Homer??
>>Cat
>
>nope. i'm only going to post it in reply to messages with *****
>references in them. :)
Like I said... it's surreal.
Cat
merry mcgrath
for days from the widow in the neighboring apartment, Mrs. Silver said
to her son, "Timmy, would you go next door and see how old Mrs. Kirkland
is?" A few minutes later, Timmy returned. "Well, is she alright?",
asked Mrs. Kirkland. "She's fine, except that she's pissed at you,"
said Tim. "At me?? Whatever for?", asked Mrs. Kirkland. "She said
it's none of your business how old she is."
merry mcgrath
I.R.A.? Because they were pointing the barrels of their guns in the
wrong direction.
merry mcgrath
of the beholder, so is crap.
Sunil Rao
>of the beholder, so is crap.
Come on! You don't seriously expect me to believe that YOU yourself find
these silly, stupid "laugh lines" you pick up from somewhere funny, do
you??? ;)
merry mcgrath
disguise himself as a sheep? He got lamb-inated. 2. What has a roof
but isn't a building? Your mouth. 3. Why did the pig flunk school?
Because he didn't do his hamwork. 4. What kind of dinosaur likes
geography? A terrainnassaurus. 5. Why did Mickey Mouse go into
outer space? To look for Pluto.
merry mcgrath
probably not. Gophers around the world simply wouldn't stand for it.
dave manvell
<rec...@globalnet.co.uk> writes
>WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO LEARN??
maybe we should just ignore her.
--
__&__
/ \ "I am Homer of the Borg. You will be assimilated.
| | Resistance is irrelevant. Preparation is irrel...
^^(o)(o) Mmmm... doughnuts!"
C ,---_)
| ,___| Dave Manvell
| \___/ (da...@breacais.demon.co.uk) ICQ#: 15810185
dave manvell
>>nope. i'm only going to post it in reply to messages with *****
>>references in them. :)
>
>Like I said... it's surreal.
i don't have a big enough brain to understand what words like surreal
mean.
dave
dave manvell
<su...@raos.demon.co.uk> writes
>>himself by getting athletes to use clothing or gear that bore a client's
>>name. However, his greatest feat was convincing boxers to accept
>>advertising on the bottoms of their shoes.
>
>could you PLEASE stop posting this crap???? It is highly irritating!
i think we should stop posting here, so she loses the bet. it's really
starting to piss me off.
Wallace
dave manvell wrote in message ...
>>WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO LEARN??
>
>maybe we should just ignore her.
Good idea, but it seems a shame (ooh, spark is on :) ) to help her keep her
bet with her brother when she keeps posting all these really bad jokes, even
tho we ask her not to.
Cat
Wallace
dave manvell wrote in message ...
>>>nope. i'm only going to post it in reply to messages with *****
>>>references in them. :)
>>
>>Like I said... it's surreal.
>
>i don't have a big enough brain to understand what words like surreal
>mean.
Oh well, do you have a dictionary??
Cat
Wallace
Sunil Rao wrote in message ...
>>Oh oh, I think someone missed their nap today. As beauty is in the eye
>>of the beholder, so is crap.
>
>Come on! You don't seriously expect me to believe that YOU yourself find
>these silly, stupid "laugh lines" you pick up from somewhere funny, do
>you??? ;)
Why not? She is *american* after all
Cat
dave manvell
>>Oh oh, I think someone missed their nap today. As beauty is in the eye
>>of the beholder, so is crap.
>
>Come on! You don't seriously expect me to believe that YOU yourself find
>these silly, stupid "laugh lines" you pick up from somewhere funny, do
>you??? ;)
yeah. i can't imagine anyone with an iq of over 79.9 could possibly find
those things funny.
dave manvell
>>>Like I said... it's surreal.
>>
>>i don't have a big enough brain to understand what words like surreal
>>mean.
>
>Oh well, do you have a dictionary??
yep, but i don't know what order letters go in, so i can't find it.
dave manvell
>>>WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO LEARN??
>>
>>maybe we should just ignore her.
>
>Good idea, but it seems a shame (ooh, spark is on :) ) to help her keep her
>bet with her brother when she keeps posting all these really bad jokes, even
>tho we ask her not to.
yeah, i say burn this thread.
Wallace
dave manvell wrote in message ...
>>>>WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO LEARN??
>>>
>>>maybe we should just ignore her.
>>
>>Good idea, but it seems a shame (ooh, spark is on :) ) to help her keep
her
>>bet with her brother when she keeps posting all these really bad jokes,
even
>>tho we ask her not to.
>
>yeah, i say burn this thread.
or we could change the header...
Cat (or would that still count?)
Wallace
dave manvell wrote in message ...
>>>>Like I said... it's surreal.
>>>
>>>i don't have a big enough brain to understand what words like surreal
>>>mean.
>>
>>Oh well, do you have a dictionary??
>
>yep, but i don't know what order letters go in, so i can't find it.
oh well. you have a built-in spellchecker on your computer don't you, do
you have a thesaurus?
Cat
merry mcgrath
posting would continue for at least one year. No thread was ever
intended.
merry mcgrath
amusing. However, the primary function for these posts is that
something is actually being posted. True, I could find material that
would please you and others, but then someone else would take offense,
etc., and it just keeps going round and round.
merry mcgrath
perhaps. But if you want to see something very shocking and very real,
look in a mirror.
merry mcgrath
join the Spice Girls. She will be known as 'Old Spice'.
Sunil Rao
Well, no. We don't want you to post crap just for the hell of it. It's
unwelcome and uninteresting. If your thread peters out because of lack
of interest, you can hardly blame us. I swear - if you overdo this, you
could find that your Internet access is liable to get cut off. Please
see the posts in news.announce.newusers on the subject of Netiquette.
I don't mean to be nasty or anything, but I am serious - your posts
serve no purpose other than to keep a thread going on. They are hence
useless. That these "jokes" are highly irritating is entirely another
matter. You're more than welcome to keep your thread alive if you post
sensible stuff. No-one can complain then!!! :)
Wallace
in a while?
Cat
merry mcgrath wrote in message
<27858-35...@newsd-161.iap.bryant.webtv.net>...
dave manvell
<rec...@globalnet.co.uk> writes
>
>dave manvell wrote in message ...
>
i'm afraid it would. i'm leaving this thread, coming?
dave manvell
>>>>
>>>>i don't have a big enough brain to understand what words like surreal
>>>>mean.
>>>
>>>Oh well, do you have a dictionary??
>>
>>yep, but i don't know what order letters go in, so i can't find it.
>
>oh well. you have a built-in spellchecker on your computer don't you, do
>you have a thesaurus?
yep, but not in this program in a word processor.
dave
p.s. i wan't to leave this thread, do you want to carry this on somwhere
else?
dave manvell
<su...@raos.demon.co.uk> writes
>>amusing. However, the primary function for these posts is that
>>something is actually being posted. True, I could find material that
>>would please you and others, but then someone else would take offense,
>>etc., and it just keeps going round and round.
>
>unwelcome and uninteresting. If your thread peters out because of lack
>of interest, you can hardly blame us. I swear - if you overdo this, you
>could find that your Internet access is liable to get cut off. Please
>see the posts in news.announce.newusers on the subject of Netiquette.
>
>I don't mean to be nasty or anything, but I am serious - your posts
>serve no purpose other than to keep a thread going on. They are hence
>useless. That these "jokes" are highly irritating is entirely another
>matter. You're more than welcome to keep your thread alive if you post
>sensible stuff. No-one can complain then!!! :)
i'm leaving. if we just slag her off, the thread lasts longer. i say we
leave, and don't reply yo any new posts about questions about sex. wanna
come?
Wallace
dave manvell wrote in message ...
>>>>>>WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO LEARN??
>>>>>
>>>>>maybe we should just ignore her.
>>>>
>>>>Good idea, but it seems a shame (ooh, spark is on :) ) to help her keep
>>her
>>>>bet with her brother when she keeps posting all these really bad jokes,
>>even
>>>>tho we ask her not to.
>>>
>>>yeah, i say burn this thread.
>>
>>or we could change the header...
>>Cat (or would that still count?)
>
>i'm afraid it would. i'm leaving this thread, coming?
Yeah, I'll see you in another thread then.
Cat
Wallace
dave manvell wrote in message ...
>>>>>>Like I said... it's surreal.
>>>>>
>>>>>i don't have a big enough brain to understand what words like surreal
>>>>>mean.
>>>>
>>>>Oh well, do you have a dictionary??
>>>
>>>yep, but i don't know what order letters go in, so i can't find it.
>>
>>oh well. you have a built-in spellchecker on your computer don't you, do
>>you have a thesaurus?
>
>yep, but not in this program in a word processor.
>
>dave
>
>p.s. i wan't to leave this thread, do you want to carry this on somwhere
>else?
I was just thinking that, sounds like a good idea
Cat
SuperDude
>
>maybe we should just ignore her.
Yeah...
SuperDude
Wallace
SuperDude wrote in message
>>>WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO LEARN??
>>
>>maybe we should just ignore her.
>
>Yeah...
Dave, Sunil and I are leaving this thread, coming??
Cat
merry mcgrath
internet access will be obtainable. You can't beat a good cash flow.
Bill Gates would be the first to tell you that. Bad taste, luring
children for pedophiles sake, etc., WILL warrant a ban from the
internet. Jokes, like opinions, are harmless. With threads, they're
interesting, but not required for my purposes. If I lose you and
others, someone else comes along. Again, even this is not necessary.
You may find that most people on the internet post items that interest
themselves, not others. That's why subjects change so often.
merry mcgrath
it goes against nature. If everyone decided to be gay, the human
population would disappear within 130 years. Your government would not
stand for this. If there's no people, there would be no taxes to
collect. As long as gay people are a minor group in terms of numbers,
then being gay will be allowable, though some people may reserve the
right to dis-associate with them.
merry mcgrath
door, and the old spinster was glad to answer all of his questions.
However, when it came to the question of her age, she balked. "But
madam," the census taker assured her, "everyone tells me their age."
"Everyone?" she asked doubtfully. "That's right."
"Even Daisy Hill down the street? And her sister Hilda next door?"
"They did."
"In that case," said Mrs. May, "put me down as the same age."
"Okay, you're as old as the Hills"' the census taker wrote obligingly
dave manvell
<rec...@globalnet.co.uk> writes
>
>dave manvell wrote in message ...
>
>>>>>>
>>>>>>maybe we should just ignore her.
>>>>>
>>>her
>>>>>bet with her brother when she keeps posting all these really bad jokes,
>>>even
>>>>>tho we ask her not to.
>>>>
>>>>yeah, i say burn this thread.
>>>
>>>or we could change the header...
>>>Cat (or would that still count?)
>>
>>i'm afraid it would. i'm leaving this thread, coming?
>
>Yeah, I'll see you in another thread then.
okay. (don't reply)
dave
dave manvell
dave manvell
<bs17...@skynet.be> writes
>dave manvell heeft geschreven in bericht ...
>>In article <6pf1t3$r58$5...@heliodor.xara.net>, Wallace
>><rec...@globalnet.co.uk> writes
>>
>>maybe we should just ignore her.
>
>
i'm leaving. get out whilst you still can superdude. i wouldn't bother
replying, i'm gone.
dave manvell
<rec...@globalnet.co.uk> writes
>
>SuperDude wrote in message
>
>>>>WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO LEARN??
>>>
>>>maybe we should just ignore her.
>>
>>Yeah...
>
hey *prod*. it was my idea in the first place. :p
SuperDude
<27858-35...@newsd-161.iap.bryant.webtv.net>...
Re: Laugh Lines as being funny. Some of these jokes I do find
amusing. However, the primary function for these posts is that
something is actually being posted. True, I could find material that
would please you and others, but then someone else would take offense,
etc., and it just keeps going round and round.
But does it count if you're going to be the only one who posts?
SuperDude
merry mcgrath
can't be held responsible for peoples interests, or the lack thereof.
This bet is a matter of endurance, not a popularity contest. True, some
people find my classic jokes boring, but then, some people find the Mona
Lisa ugly. I'm one of them. :-))
merry mcgrath
questions about sex, I just enjoy it tremendously. It's one of the few
things we don't get taxed on. :-)))
merry mcgrath
do you get when two dinosaurs collide? A tyrannosaurus wrecks. 2.
Why should you never stand behind a bus? Because you'll get exhausted.