Tasteless thoughts on the 2000 election.
?
The president elected in 1980 caught a bullet that perforated and
collapsed a lung.
The president elected in 1960 had his brains splattered by a bullet.
So is anyone running a pool as to whether this year's top nitwit
dodges an attempt, is injured by an attempt, or is greased by an
attempt?
--
Chris Dukes
The guard knew it was the radiation, driving the pretty girl insane, the
radiation from them computer monitors. He resolved to smash his
granddaughter's before she went crazy, too. -- Ellen Hayes
A.Lizard
(?) wrote:
>
>The president elected in 1980 caught a bullet that perforated and
>collapsed a lung.
>The president elected in 1960 had his brains splattered by a bullet.
The tradition of a president getting offed or close to it every
20 years goes back a *lot* further than 1960.
A.Lizard
obT: both major party candidates suddenly realizing this and
trying to throw the election to each other. It *would* make for
an interesting couple of days as they compete for the most
embarrassing and disqualifying personal revelations.
************************************************************************
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Get PGPfone for secure voice conferencing, W9x,NT,Mac) at
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"By dehumanizing the enemy, you trivialize his suffering,
and if you trivialize his suffering you cannot fully enjoy it."
--Tommy the Terrorist
************************************************************************
?
>On Sun, 05 Nov 2000 00:14:21 GMT, cdd...@localhost.pagesz.net
>(?) wrote:
>
>>
>>collapsed a lung.
>>The president elected in 1960 had his brains splattered by a bullet.
>
>20 years goes back a *lot* further than 1960.
The trouble is that I can't remember WTF happened between Lincoln
and Kennedy.
>
>A.Lizard
>obT: both major party candidates suddenly realizing this and
>trying to throw the election to each other. It *would* make for
>an interesting couple of days as they compete for the most
>embarrassing and disqualifying personal revelations.
I can just see the Libertarians attempting thistactic and gaining more votes.
klink
wrote:
>On Sun, 05 Nov 2000 17:28:18 GMT in <3a059894...@news.ecis.com> A.Lizard <alizard[spam]@ecis.com> wrote:
>>On Sun, 05 Nov 2000 00:14:21 GMT, cdd...@localhost.pagesz.net
>>(?) wrote:
>>
>>>
>>>The president elected in 1980 caught a bullet that perforated and
>>>collapsed a lung.
>>>The president elected in 1960 had his brains splattered by a bullet.
>>
>>The tradition of a president getting offed or close to it every
>>20 years goes back a *lot* further than 1960.
>
>The trouble is that I can't remember WTF happened between Lincoln
>and Kennedy.
>>
>>A.Lizard
>>obT: both major party candidates suddenly realizing this and
>>trying to throw the election to each other. It *would* make for
>>an interesting couple of days as they compete for the most
>>embarrassing and disqualifying personal revelations.
>
>I can just see the Libertarians attempting thistactic and gaining more votes.
Wasn't one of our Presidents shot dead at the World's Fair? I can't
remember.... Garfield?
klink
Lorri
>
>
>
> The trouble is that I can't remember WTF happened between Lincoln
> and Kennedy.
>
1880 winner James A. Garfield was shot by that wild and crazy Frog,
Charles Guiteau, and 1900 winner William McKinley was shot at the
Pan-American Exposition by Leon Czolgosz, whose name always makes me
think of what a cat sounds like when he's horking up a hairball....
ObTWasted: Thomas Edison shot film of a reenactment of the execution.
Why he didn't shoot the REAL execution seems a waste of perfectly good
film AND a perfectly good electrocution....
Lorri
Nanook of the North
<gash...@bellsouth.net> banged head against the keyboard
thusly:
>? wrote:
>> The trouble is that I can't remember WTF happened between Lincoln
>> and Kennedy.
>>
>1880 winner James A. Garfield was shot by that wild and crazy Frog,
>Charles Guiteau, and 1900 winner William McKinley was shot at the
>Pan-American Exposition by Leon Czolgosz, whose name always makes me
>think of what a cat sounds like when he's horking up a hairball....
>
(cerebral haemorrhage), and 1840's Tippecanoe catching
pneumonia after his inauguration. Not assassinations, but
good enough for me.
Reagan managed to break the streak -- 7
Presidents-elected-in-years-ending-in-0 croaking in office
in a row, and which one survives? Ick.
>ObTWasted: Thomas Edison shot film of a reenactment of the execution.
>Why he didn't shoot the REAL execution seems a waste of perfectly good
>film AND a perfectly good electrocution....
Hear hear!
Robert
From the messy desk of RobNorth 62 27 N 114 22 W Politics is
a mass of lies, evasions, folly, hatred and schizophrenia.(Orwell)
Man is that he might have joy--not guilt trips.(Elder R,M. Nelson)
A flip dark chill winter bastard though dry. (A Clockwork Orange)
Felis Concolor
>On Sun, 05 Nov 2000 17:28:18 GMT, alizard[spam]@ecis.com (A.Lizard)
>wrote:
>>
>> The tradition of a president getting offed or close to it every
>> 20 years goes back a *lot* further than 1960.
>So you're saying that Reagan didn't "survive" his term, since he
>developed an incurable fatal illness while in office.
Reagan's body survived his term, but did his mind survive it?
ObT: I wonder if by now, Reagan's so senile he forgets he's
supposed to be taking a dump halfway through. Does he ever
get up from the toilet no pants on, and a big Lincoln log
sticking through his undershorts?
Lenore Levine
--
"Nabisco's really cheaped out on the Cracker Jack prizes in recent years,
haven't they? ...Why, last week I opened up a box of Cracker Jacks, fished
around in the bottom, and pulled out an Environmental Studies degree from UC
Santa Cruz. Now what the hell was I supposed to do with *that*?" -- A. Sears
Annie Benson-Lennaman
? wrote:
>
> The president elected in 1980 caught a bullet that perforated and
> collapsed a lung.
> The president elected in 1960 had his brains splattered by a bullet.
Aw, geez! Now you've made me almost want to go vote for Bush.
Almost.
Annie <-- Hopes Texas keeps its execution king, so the rest of the
49 has something to strive for.
--
My Return-to address is sabotaged. If you can't
figure out the fake part, you're not supposed
to write me.
See my site if you want.
Reviews, Bad Movie List, On-line diary,
other stuff I wrote.
http://pw2.netcom.com/~mordea/aaannie.html
A.Lizard
>On Sun, 05 Nov 2000 17:28:18 GMT, alizard[spam]@ecis.com (A.Lizard)
>wrote:
>>
>> The tradition of a president getting offed or close to it every
I said or "close to it"... remember the nearly successful
assassination attempt?
With respect to elections, I now lean in favor of voting for
political paralysis. The best we can do given the miserable level
of candidates is minimise the damage they can do. You have an
incumbent? Unless this person is known to you to be a genius, he
or she can do a lot less damage if voted out of office. The
replacement will have no seniority. Tradeoff: less pork for your
district. You have a Democratic governor? Vote Republican. You
have a GOP governor? Look for some Democrats. Remember the
Libertarians and Greens... but only when voting for them improves
the confusion level.
With luck, this might help a little. Our elected officials are
people who've never seen a Blue Screen of Death... they can't
understand what we do from day to day.
A.Lizard
[snip]
A.Lizard
<gash...@bellsouth.net> wrote:
>? wrote:
>>
>>
[snip]
>
>ObTWasted: Thomas Edison shot film of a reenactment of the execution.
>Why he didn't shoot the REAL execution seems a waste of perfectly good
>film AND a perfectly good electrocution....
Chances are, the electricity was Edison-approved DC... there's a
limit to how tasteless Edison WANTED to get with respect to the
electrical distribution system that he was trying to persuade
people to bring into their homes.
If the execution had been powered by George Westinghouse, he
probably *would* have filmed the real one in all its tasteless
glory... he was trying to persuade America that anybody ordering
AC power was likely to get fried even without the aid of the
State and electrical engineeers. He tried to get the public to
adopt the name "Westinghousing" for electrocution. If he'd had
the opportunity, people would have seen newsreel footage of that
execution over the caption "You can be sure if it's Westinghouse"
as flames came out of the mouth of the target.
Remember back in those days, the hot stock offerings were in the
newfangled technology of electricity distribution and electrical
gadgets.
A.Lizard
obT: somebody from AT&T or Disney seeing this and deciding to see
if people can be persuaded that with AOL comes a speedy and awful
death.
>Lorri
NurzRachet
> ObT: I wonder if by now, Reagan's so senile he forgets he's
> supposed to be taking a dump halfway through. Does he ever
> get up from the toilet no pants on, and a big Lincoln log
> sticking through his undershorts?
I read an article about the lovely duo about a year ago. It seems that
during a trip down Pa. Ave., Nancy asked Ron if he recognized the big
white house on the right, to which he responded, "Why, did we used to
live there?"
ObT: Aging. What a bitch. I can already tell that I'm starting to
suffer the ravages of gomerism. I'll walk into a room and forget why I
went there. I'll go shopping and forget my list. Of course, if the day
comes when I forget why I have Vomit's dick in my mouth, I suppose the
party's over.
Nurzy
gomer villa candidate
fungus
>
> if the day comes when I forget why I have Vomit's dick in my
> mouth, I suppose the party's over.
>
Are you going to fill us in on the reasons why....?
...just as a matter of public record of course, so we can
check the current state of your retardation.
--
<\___/>
/ O O \
\_____/ FTB.
Eddie Blaque
<nurzr...@ameritech.net> wrote:
>
>ObT: Aging. What a bitch. I can already tell that I'm starting to
>suffer the ravages of gomerism. I'll walk into a room and forget why I
>went there. I'll go shopping and forget my list. Of course, if the day
>comes when I forget why I have Vomit's dick in my mouth, I suppose the
>party's over.
The party would be over for Vomit too. You'd probably think you were
having a hot dog at Wrigley Field and start chewing.
Eddie
ObT.. Vomit having a gun in his hand readied in case Nurzy forgets
what she is doing whenever he gets a blowjob from her from now on.
Phil Green
The party would still be over for Vomit. A natural reaction to sudden
trauma such as a bullet in the head is for the jaws to clamp shut and
lock. Sometimes you need a crowbar to get them open again. Then again,
if your choad is being molared by a corpse you might gain the ethereal
superstrength required.
fungus
>
> A natural reaction to sudden trauma such as a bullet in the
> head is for the jaws to clamp shut and lock. Sometimes you
> need a crowbar to get them open again.
>
I'm sure Vommy would have the smarts to shoot the jawbone
first before attempting the head shot.
ObT: Powder burns and bone fragments.
Tommy the Terrorist
writes:
>So you're saying that Reagan didn't "survive" his term, since he
>never thought of it that way, but for all we know lots of former
>presidents had undiagnosed illnesses while in office, or whose health
>otherwise began to fail in office, like Woodrow Wilson. No, I'm afraid
>the 20 Year Curse has run its course.
Reagan was just some actor who read whatever came over the TelePrompTer.
(Sort of like how Baby Bush will be). But CASEY died of a ... "brain
tumor", and I think the Chief Executive who replaced him went to a ...
"boating accident".
--
"Williams said the officer went to the car and found a mouse, which had
been injured and was bleeding.
The officer took the mouse to an animal hospital for treatment."
"6 Arrested in Rodent-Tossing Case", _The San Diego Union-Tribune_,
October 5, 2000
"Animal-rights groups have been watching the case and have told police
they want stiff punishment meted out, police said."
Le Grande Raoul
<nurzr...@ameritech.net> wrote:
> Felis Concolor wrote:
>
> > ObT: I wonder if by now, Reagan's so senile he forgets he's
> > supposed to be taking a dump halfway through. Does he ever
> > get up from the toilet no pants on, and a big Lincoln log
> > sticking through his undershorts?
>
> I read an article about the lovely duo about a year ago. It seems that
> during a trip down Pa. Ave., Nancy asked Ron if he recognized the big
> white house on the right, to which he responded, "Why, did we used to
> live there?"
Can you imagine just how tasteless Nancy's life must be? Imagine, riding
down Pennsylvania Ave. in a limo and having your husband, former POTUS,
say something like that. I'd hurl.
ObT Disappointment: Expecting Gore to leave Dubya's blood on the podium in
the debates and not getting it. How could Al fuck that one up?
JB
--
Jeffrey E. Benedict *ra...@olympus.net *
-----------------------------------------
"Hey foo', shuttup wityer jibba-jabbah.
I ain't got no tahme fo' no knucklehaid
like you."
Mr.T
smw...@attglobal.net
runs)
1860 - Lincoln assasinated.
1880 - President Garfield Assasinated.
1900 - McKinley assasinated
1920 - Harding died in office of a heart attack.
1940 - Roosevelt died in office
> >>The president elected in 1980 caught a bullet that perforated and
> >>collapsed a lung.
> >>The president elected in 1960 had his brains splattered by a bullet.
> and Kennedy.
> >
A Device Which Is Exploding
><smw...@attglobal.net> banged head against the keyboard thusly:
>
>>Obt: Knowing more about US presidents than about Canadian prime ministers.
>>
>Abbott, Thompson, Bowell, Tupper,
>Laurier, Borden,
>Meighen, King, Meighen, King, Bennett, King,
>St. Laurent, Pearson,
^--- Diefenbaker
>Trudeau, Clark, Trudeau, Turner
>Mulroney, Campbell, Chretien.
>
>And no, I didn't have to look at the almanac for that. %-P
*cough*
>I don't think *anyone* has ever even *thought* about trying
>to kill a Canadian prime minister. We score pretty low on
>the 'who gives a fuck' scale.
Oh, I don't know - I imagine a number of Canadians had warm thoughts of
Mulroney drowning in a vat of toxic waste, especially after hearing him
warble at Reagan.
ObT: Diefenbaker impaled on the needle nose of an Avro Arrow at Mach 1.
Francois.
Nanook of the North
>1840 - President someone or other died in office (I believe of a case of the
>runs)
Pneumonia from making a fucking long inauguration speech in
the middle of a blizzard.
>> >
>Obt: Knowing more about US presidents than about Canadian prime ministers.
>
Macdonald, Mackenzie, Macdonald,
Abbott, Thompson, Bowell, Tupper,
Laurier, Borden,
Meighen, King, Meighen, King, Bennett, King,
St. Laurent, Pearson,
Trudeau, Clark, Trudeau, Turner
Mulroney, Campbell, Chretien.
And no, I didn't have to look at the almanac for that. %-P
And only 2 died in office, interestingly enough. Thompson
was in London for an Imperial Privy Council conference, had
just been knighted by Queen Vicky, then up and died of a
heart attack right there in Windsor Castle. And, of course,
the Grand Old Man croaked just after winning the 1891
election, only a couple of years before his successor
Thompson croaked.
I don't think *anyone* has ever even *thought* about trying
to kill a Canadian prime minister. We score pretty low on
the 'who gives a fuck' scale.
ObT: Wondering exactly how many people are seriously
considering assassinating (a) Gore, if he wins, (b) Bush, if
he wins, or (c) whoever wins. Knowing America, I'd guess
each figure is in the dozens, at the very least.
Tommy the Terrorist
writes:
>William Henry Harrison. He contracted pneumonia while delivering his two
>hour inaugural address without an overcoat.
You know, that sure sounds like an awfully pat explanation... especially
considering that that was around the time when growing pneumococcus and
investigating its properties was of great interest to the scientific
community...
Frank
A.Lizard <"alizard[spam]"@ecis.com> wrote in message
news:3a059894...@news.ecis.com...
> >
> >The president elected in 1980 caught a bullet that perforated and
> >collapsed a lung.
> >The president elected in 1960 had his brains splattered by a bullet.
>
>
1940 - Franklin D. Roosevelt; died in office in 1945 due to natural causes
1920 - Woodrow Wilson; suffered a stroke while in office; later died (1924)
1900 - William McKinley; shot by an anarchist at the beginning of his second
term in 1901; died 8 days after (anarchists used to be the world's leading
terrorists. Perhaps they're due for a comeback one of these days.)
1880 - James A. Garfield; shot in 1881 by an embittered attorney who had
been rejected for a consular post; died 13 days after.
1860 - Abraham Lincoln; shot and killed by a Confederate sympathizer in 1865
while beginning his second term.
1840 - William Henry Harrison; died of pneumonia in 1841 shortly after
taking office.
1820 - James Monroe; nothing untoward occured; died of natural causes in
1831.
1800 - Thomas Jefferson; nothing untoward occured; died of natural causes in
1826.
So there you have it. From William Harrison on there does seem to be a
recurring streak of bad luck striking presidents every 20 years.
Fortunately, regardless of which of the 2 major candidate wins, it will be
no great loss if it strikes again.
Frank
>
> 1920 - Woodrow Wilson; suffered a stroke while in office; later died
(1924)
>
attack). Well that confirms it; something nasty is going to happen to Bush.
Any bets on what it could be? Perhaps an ironically appropriate accidental
electrocution? In any case, as noted previously, this would be no great
loss.
Nanook of the North
Device Which Is Exploding) banged head against the keyboard
thusly:
>Nanook of the North <robn...@my-deja.com> wrote:
>><smw...@attglobal.net> banged head against the keyboard thusly:
>>
>>>Obt: Knowing more about US presidents than about Canadian prime ministers.
>>>
>>Macdonald, Mackenzie, Macdonald,
>>Abbott, Thompson, Bowell, Tupper,
>>Laurier, Borden,
>>Meighen, King, Meighen, King, Bennett, King,
>>St. Laurent, Pearson,
> ^--- Diefenbaker
>
FUCK! That's what I get for trying to do it at midnight.
Verbally, I'm perfect; that's the first time I ever tried to
type it raw from memory. The key is the rhythm; it's like a
poem, if you do it right. It's not the same in the fingers
as it is on the tongue.
<sigh>
>>Trudeau, Clark, Trudeau, Turner
>>Mulroney, Campbell, Chretien.
>>
>>And no, I didn't have to look at the almanac for that. %-P
>
>*cough*
Was that a 'turn your head and cough' cough?
>
>>I don't think *anyone* has ever even *thought* about trying
>>to kill a Canadian prime minister. We score pretty low on
>>the 'who gives a fuck' scale.
>
>Oh, I don't know - I imagine a number of Canadians had warm thoughts of
>Mulroney drowning in a vat of toxic waste, especially after hearing him
>warble at Reagan.
Forgot about that. But notice nobody *did* anything about
it. I don't ever remember even hearing about any serious
threats against Mulroney.
Oh yeah, there was that guy who broke into 22 Sussex a few
years ago while the Chretiens were there. But I don't think
he was out for assassination; I bet he was trying for a
piece of Aline....
>
>ObT: Diefenbaker impaled on the needle nose of an Avro Arrow at Mach 1.
Hear hear! Fucker. You know where a shitload of the Arrow
designers and engineers ended up, eh? They were key cogs in
the US space machine. If we'd kept 'em, we coulda heard the
immortal words "That's one small step for man, eh? Now
where's the fuckin' beer?"
At least Dief built all the roads up here in the NWT. If it
wasn't for him, I'm sure I wouldn't be living in this lovely
corner of the world....
ObT: Appropriately enough, The Hard-on Of America is
deciding who the new president will be. Sort of a metaphor
for American political history generally, wouldn't you
agree? Talk about 'thinking with your little head'....
Mr. Blonde
Acetylcholinesterase Inhibitor wrote:
> > >ObTWasted: Thomas Edison shot film of a reenactment of the execution.
> > >Why he didn't shoot the REAL execution seems a waste of perfectly good
> > >film AND a perfectly good electrocution....
Well, for genuine electrocution footage, there's always that film where
Edison electrocutes an elephant. I think I like the guy. Saw it in some Nine
Inch Nails video a while back, too.
ObT:
"OK people, that about wraps up our demonstration here. Anyone up for some
well-done elephant beef?"
> Ahh, my friends. There's a long history of the press attempting to
> exploit popular thirst for execution gore, and of the Authorities'
> attempts to prevent it. One of the more amusing techniques is to
> bribe one of the official witnesses to smuggle a minature camera into
> the death chamber. Papers that pulled off a scoop like this made a
> significant profit by it.
Ah, yes, the classic Ruth Snyder FryCam(tm) picture, secretly taken by a NYT
journalist witness who taped the camera to his leg.
I'll put it on atbp, if I get the chance. Not a very good picture, though.
ObDamnDamnDamn: Coupla years back the Kalifornians taped a gas chamber
execution, to be viewed by the state supreme court to determine if lethal gas
executions were unconstitutional. After viewing it, the goddamn liberal
choadsuckers determined lethal gas was in violation of the constitution
(replaced by Majik Needle(tm) ), and worse yet: the tape was destroyed.
However, I still nurture a quiet hope that someone tasteless was put in
charge of making the recording, and made himself a copy.
ObT:
"*Guuuuugh* Please...please...I'm a human being...I'm a human
being...*gargle* "
"Hey, Larry, here's the best part, when he starts vomiting that white foamy
stuff I told you about!"
"Ohhh! <wankwankwank>"
> ObT: pay-per-view execution shows
Let's start a lobby.
If yer gonna fry the bastards in the first place, the least we can demand is
to see where all that expensive electricity/gas/lethal fluid is going.
> ObT: Fox's pay-per-view *naked* execution shows
Pro or con execution of pregnant women? Pro of course. Then make sure you
videotape as the current starts to flow and the foetus, boiled in its own
umbilical fluid, is forced out by the spasms.
Cheers!
Mr.Blonde
A Device Which Is Exploding
>A.Lizard <"alizard[spam]"@ecis.com> wrote in message
>>
>> 20 years goes back a *lot* further than 1960.
>>
>Let's see:
>
>1880 - James A. Garfield; shot in 1881 by an embittered attorney who had
>been rejected for a consular post; died 13 days after.
ObT: How Garfield actually died. From "The Big Book Of Losers":
"At the Washington Depot on July 2, 1881, President James Garfield was
shot in the back by Charles Guiteau, a disgruntled office-seeker. He was
rushed back to the White House, where it was discovered that one bullet
had grazed his arm and the other entered his back.
As doctors hovered over him, Garfield was gloomy about his prospects.
A Dr. D. W. Bliss tried to locate the bullet with a 'nelation probe'.
The probe was pushed into the wound and turned until it discovered
the path opened up by the bullet. The probe failed to locate the bullet,
but greatly enlarged the wound. It eventually got stuck between the
fragments of Garfield's eleventh rib - and had to be forcibly removed.
Dr. Bliss then inserted his unwashed finger into the wound. He had
no idea he was introducing infection.
Top doctors arrived from all over the country to search for the elusive
bullet. The surgeon general himself actually punctured the protective
lining of Garfield's liver. Numerous operation were performed - without
anesthesia - to look for the bullet and to relieve infection.
As the days went by and Garfield worsened, the public grew concerned.
Alexander Graham Bell rigged up a crude metal detector and thought
he detected the bullet. He was actually way off, but doctors decided
Garfield couldn't survive further exploratory surgery. Garfield's weight
had dropped from 210 pounds to an emaciated 130. He sat up and wrote
something only once - strangulatus pro republica -
'tortured for the republic'. On September 19, 1881, Garfield died.
The autopsy revealed that the bullet lodged harmlessly near the spine,
encased in a protective cyst. The President would not have died...
had it not been for his doctors. Garfield's doctors had transformed
a minor 3-inch wound into a 20-inch-long channel of festering infection.
They were condemned for their incompetence.
Guiteau introduced this evidence at his trial. The truth did not help him.
Guiteau was hanged. Photos of his dangling corpse were popular souvenirs."
Francois.
A Device Which Is Exploding
>robn...@my-deja.com (Nanook of the North) writes:
>>
>> Macdonald, Mackenzie, Macdonald,
>> Abbott, Thompson, Bowell, Tupper,
>> Laurier, Borden,
>> Meighen, King, Meighen, King, Bennett, King,
>> St. Laurent, Pearson,
>> Trudeau, Clark, Trudeau, Turner
>> Mulroney, Campbell, Chretien.
>
>Government that couldn't even get its budget passed.
Ayup. The Liberals got beat in late '79, IIRC, whereupon the Tories
assembled a minority government (rather like what Shrub's trying on now)
which lasted all of eight or ten months before they attempted passing a
budget which assumed the rest of Parliament was asleep. Ooops.
Trudeau roused himself from his pre-retirement coma, kicked the Tories
around the block, and won a majority government in 1980. Unfortunately
its term was so appallingly bad in every respect save the constitutional
the country is healing from its scars to this day.
>BTW, have there been any serious horndogs as Canadian PM's? Anyone to
>match JFK, LBJ, and Harding (with his underage mistress)?
Trudeau came closest by chasing a number of stars around the dance floor,
including the young Margot Kidder, but he ended up marrying the looniest
girl of a wealthy family. The father is said to have declared, when the
whole thing was over, "Of all my daughters, why did Pierre have to pick
the crazy one?"
Kim Campbell might be a fun gal - at least her antics lead to that
conlusion - but her term was too short to go for the full CelebrityGrope.
ObNotTerriblyT: Mackenzie King was said to have conducted seances to
communicate with the spirit of his dead mother. Apron strings from
beyond the grave...
Francois.
smw...@attglobal.net
hearsay - I cannot cite a source for this.
ALso, a former premier of New Brunswick (his name escapes me for the moment)
used to pick up the teenage
inmates of the Kingsclear Correctional Institution for boys, and supplied
them with recreational drugs.
By the way, I know that one president of the US died in office of diarrhoea
after eating cherries in cream - could someone
tell me which one it was - maybe 1820 election.
OBT. American Politics. 'Nuff said
"Acetylcholinesterase Inhibitor" <wor...@dworley.ne.mediaone.net> wrote in
message >
>
> BTW, have there been any serious horndogs as Canadian PM's? Anyone to
> match JFK, LBJ, and Harding (with his underage mistress)?
>
> Dale
Nanook of the North
wor...@dworley.ne.mediaone.net (Acetylcholinesterase
Inhibitor) banged head against the keyboard thusly:
>> Abbott, Thompson, Bowell, Tupper,
>> Laurier, Borden,
>> Meighen, King, Meighen, King, Bennett, King,
>> St. Laurent, Pearson,
>> Trudeau, Clark, Trudeau, Turner
>> Mulroney, Campbell, Chretien.
>
>Government that couldn't even get its budget passed.
>
had a minority gov't.; 136/282 seats.
>> I don't think *anyone* has ever even *thought* about trying
>> to kill a Canadian prime minister. We score pretty low on
>> the 'who gives a fuck' scale.
>
>There should be some sort of Psycho Score, the fraction of a nation's
>leaders that have been assassinated.
>
Good idea! Something like 'average leaders killed per
century'. So the USA's score is 100*4/224=1.79. Canada's
score is nil. Britain's score -- if you just go back as far
as 1066, just to make it easier -- is as high as
100*3/936=0.32, depending on how you count
murdered-after-deposed Edward II and one of those princes in
the tower (#3 being, of course, Charles I). India's running
pretty high, 100*2/54=3.70.
>BTW, have there been any serious horndogs as Canadian PM's? Anyone to
>match JFK, LBJ, and Harding (with his underage mistress)?
They've mostly been quite a boring lot. Trudeau's the best
we had; his (known) shag list includes Margot Kidder, Barbra
Streisand and Liona Boyd, and he fathered a daughter at the
ripe old age of 72.
ObT: Dreaming of a similar legacy in my political career and
knowing there's no fuckin' way....
Heywood Jaiblomi
>BTW, have there been any serious horndogs as Canadian PM's?
Yep!
Kim Campbell
--
"While we're gone, if any talking animals tell you to buy some tacos
or beer, for God's sake do what they say."
-- Casey McCall, "Sports Night"
Eric Bohlman
> The autopsy revealed that the bullet lodged harmlessly near the spine,
> encased in a protective cyst. The President would not have died...
> had it not been for his doctors. Garfield's doctors had transformed
> a minor 3-inch wound into a 20-inch-long channel of festering infection.
> They were condemned for their incompetence.
If I remember what I read as a kid right, part of Garfield's medical
treatement involved attempts to feed him by enemas which included such
nutrients as raw eggs.
A Device Which Is Exploding
>f...@idiom.com (A Device Which Is Exploding) writes:
>> Ayup. The Liberals got beat in late '79, IIRC, whereupon the Tories
>> assembled a minority government (rather like what Shrub's trying on now)
>> which lasted all of eight or ten months before they attempted passing a
>> budget which assumed the rest of Parliament was asleep. Ooops.
>
>down here.
The first law of minority government is: Make Deals With The Other Guys.
If they want something in the budget, give it to them unless you expect
to win the next election.
The hapless Tories tried ramming through a budget that conceded nothing
to the other parties. Some could see this as a brave attempt at principle
which they were hoping would endear them to the Canadian voters' flabby
little hearts, but more cynical observers simply think Joe Clark et al
were fuckwits.
ObIrony: The Liberals' subsequent race against the Tories made much of
the proposed 18 cent/gallon gas tax, but when the Natural Governing Party
returned to power they increased gax excise by far more, because...
>> Trudeau roused himself from his pre-retirement coma, kicked the Tories
>> around the block, and won a majority government in 1980. Unfortunately
>> its term was so appallingly bad in every respect save the constitutional
>> the country is healing from its scars to this day.
>
>Similarly, how did Trudeau hose things?
The aforementioned gas tax was meant to pay for the National Energy Program,
an appalling boondoggle featuring a government-owned oil company built up
from spare parts found on the stock market (bought for top dollar) and
hosing Alberta out of a fair world price for its oil (thereby ensuring
the Libs would never get another vote in The Cow Province). The whole
exercise ended up costing anywhere between 3 billion and 10 billion dollars
almost 20 years ago, which for reference is the equivalent of America
blowing up $30 to $100 billion.
That was only a part of an economic program which included monster deficits,
massive agricultural subsidies, silly tax breaks for shoddy films, and
generally all manner of brain-dead fiddling while Rome burned. The deficit
soared to more than $40 billion a year, which again in USA terms is better
than $400 billion, over at least four years. The country ended up paying
more than a third of its budget just for debt service, which later limited
stimulus options when the early 90s crunch hit.
>Wishing to wallow in the mistakes of others...
Heh. The Canadian election is on the 27th, I believe (living in California),
so point your browser up North for more follies. The race is between an old
warhorse who stopped thinking around early 1997, and an egomaniac running
to the right of Jesse Helms, but without the suave charm.
Francois.
Nanook of the North
wor...@dworley.ne.mediaone.net (Acetylcholinesterase
Inhibitor) banged head against the keyboard thusly:
>f...@idiom.com (A Device Which Is Exploding) writes:
>> Ayup. The Liberals got beat in late '79, IIRC, whereupon the Tories
>> assembled a minority government (rather like what Shrub's trying on now)
>> which lasted all of eight or ten months before they attempted passing a
>> budget which assumed the rest of Parliament was asleep. Ooops.
>
>What was so fucked about their budget? We never heard the details
>down here.
Being right-wingers, they thought the deficit was A Bad
Thing. Being Canadians, they knew that cutting social
programs would get their asses kicked. So they tried a 4c/L
tax increase on gasoline.
The budget vote they lost wasn't related to the gas tax
itself; it was just one of many votes the budget and its
various pieces would have to go through, and the whips
fucked up. Any loss on a budget-related vote is treated as
a vote of no confidence, so you have to call an election.
The Liberals won the election by bellowing to all and sundry
what a Bad Thing this gas tax increase was. Guess what
their first budget contained after they won the 1980
election? Fuckers. Power whores. My grandfather was a
Liberal (ran in 1949), my dad was a Liberal, but the only
way you'll get me to join the Liberal party is if you tie me
down and give me a lobotomy first.
>
>> Trudeau roused himself from his pre-retirement coma, kicked the Tories
>> around the block, and won a majority government in 1980. Unfortunately
>> its term was so appallingly bad in every respect save the constitutional
>> the country is healing from its scars to this day.
>
>Similarly, how did Trudeau hose things?
The big deficits that Joe wanted to slay in 1979 were caused
almost entirely by Trudeau between 1968 and 1979. He stole
expensive social program ideas from the NDP, but didn't
implement the other part of the NDP (i.e. tax the rich so as
to pay for the expensive social programs). And, as Hunter
S. Thompson once remarked w.r.t. Reagan, 'any teenage crack
dealer outside the White House could tell you that
increasing your expenditures without a corresponding
increase in revenues is a bad idea.'
ObT: Having taped the English-language leaders' debate
tonight, and planning on watching the whole fucking thing.
Masochist? Sure, why not.
Nanook of the North
Device Which Is Exploding) banged head against the keyboard
thusly:
<snip>
>Heh. The Canadian election is on the 27th, I believe (living in California),
>so point your browser up North for more follies. The race is between an old
>warhorse who stopped thinking around early 1997, and an egomaniac running
>to the right of Jesse Helms, but without the suave charm.
The warhorse was first elected to Parliament the year I was
born. And I have a kid in college. Time to go, Jean.
As for the egomaniac, he looked pretty bad in tonight's
debate. More spoiled child than statesman. Good thing I
already sold all my Alliance stock. (Hie thee to esm.ubc.ca
and check out the election stock market if you want to know
what the fuck I'm talking about. I put $50 real money on
this election; in '97, I made $5 on $50, mostly by buying up
cheap Liberal majority shares just before election day.
I'd've put $500 or $5000 in this time, but I like having my
wife like me enough to put out for me on a regular basis,
and what I'd lose in lovin' wouldn't make up for the
monetary gain. 'Specially if what they tell me about the
price of good whores nowadays is true....)
ObT: Making economic valuations of one's wife's sexual
favours.
Nearwidow
> ObT: Aging. What a bitch. I can already tell that I'm starting to
> suffer the ravages of gomerism. I'll walk into a room and forget why I
> went there. I'll go shopping and forget my list. Of course, if the day
> comes when I forget why I have Vomit's dick in my mouth, I suppose the
> party's over.
>
Why, this is an obvious case of acute Hotguy Deprivation! My suggestion? Go
online and find a stud or ten. It sure worked for me. They don't even care
about stretch marks. A woman who wants to get off and get out is a rare
commodity, it seems.
"Hot Nurz (WF, fit, DD free) requires energetic sex from WM, 25 to 32.
Marital status unimportant. Must have clean bill of health and an abundance
of erection."
That ought to do the trick. You'd be surprised at the caliber of male you
can get from such an ad. All of your memory problems will *poof* disappear.
Go for it.
P
Free your ass and your mind will follow
Michael Cogan
> > >
> Obt: Knowing more about US presidents than about Canadian prime ministers.
Was "your" Trudeau related to "our" Trudeau? (Pierre Eliot vs. Gary?)
M.I. Wakefield
"Michael Cogan" <michae...@mindspring.com> wrote in message
news:3A0E1010...@mindspring.com...
IIRC, every Trudeau in North America can trace back to the single immigrant
with that name who arrived in Quebec colony sometime in the 1600s ...
ObT: Virtually all of the francophones are related, and as a result there
are some genetic diseases that pop up more than you'd expect (similar to
Tay-Sachs in the Jewish population).
Nanook of the North
<michae...@mindspring.com> banged head against the
keyboard thusly:
>smw...@attglobal.net wrote:.
>
>> > >
>> Obt: Knowing more about US presidents than about Canadian prime ministers.
>
>Was "your" Trudeau related to "our" Trudeau? (Pierre Eliot vs. Gary?)
>
Yes, they're fifth cousins or some such. (Source: Back in
the 1970's, the Canadian edition of Time had a cover story
of Trudeau visiting Cuba, while the same week, the American
edition had a cover story on Doonesbury. They noted it was
the first time that they'd had relatives on two different
national versions of the rag.)
ObT: Garry getting sloppy seconds with Maggie.