ALL ANIMATORS MUST DIE!!
K-THUDD!!
First of all,let's get something straight; I hate animators. I hate them with
a passion from beyond Hell! They're all just a bunch of lazy buttholes who
think they're the hottest-ass thing since Walt Disney thought up Mickey during
a drunken spree at a whorehouse. They draw crap,their shows are crap,and they
tell everyone else that they are better than everyone else because they happen
to be animators. Somehow they have the idea that an employee's badge from
Disney or Warner Bros. is a license to take a shit on everyone else.
Well,I have bigassed news for these no good fucks........
One day I decided I can stands no more. I decided to wait outside one of the
animation studios and scope out my prey. I spotted one guy. A real scrawny
looking degenerate fuck. I can see from here he looks so fucking full of his
smug little self. Yeah,he sure looked like someone to be made an example of. I
kept a timetable to get a good idea what his pattern was,and after I got it
down cold,I decided to make my move.
During one of his regular McD stops for dinner and 7:05 piss break,I awaited
him in the next stall. Just as soon as he had his shorts down I reached from
over the dividing wall and shot his puss with half a canful of pepper-mace.
Before he had a chance to figure out what was happening to him,I shoved a rag
of cloriform on him and he was out like a lightbulb. Fortunately I was able to
drag the bod out of the place without being spotted (no one wants to sit near
the part of a Mcdonald's where the shitrooms are).
When Mr. Snotty-Ass Animator came to,I'm sure he almost blew his shorts in
surprize. That is,if he was still wearing them. You see,I decided to make him
"more comfy" by chaining him nude in a specially prepared room in the
basement,with acoustic soundproofing and a drain in the middle of the cement
floor (gee? I wonder why I put THAT down there for?).
First,I decided to crush his mind before I crushed his body. With a bit of the
old duct tape I affixed a pair of monitor screens to his propped open eyes (I
always loved "Clockwork Orange",don't you?) with the contrast up all the way
and a pair of headphones with the volume on "10". I decided to show Mister
Animator the horrible error of his ways by making him watch his own shitty
animated creations for 24+ hours nonstop. By hour seven he was already
screaming up a storm (I always knew they could dish it out but not take it),so
I stuck a ballgag on him to shut him up and left him to continue with his "marathon".
Meanwhile, I was watching my copies of some REAL animation; Akira, Legend of
the Overfiend, stuff that Tardling downstairs and his "Rugrats"-scribbling ilk
could never touch if they spent a millenium of study at CalArts. I went to bed
with all the jollygood images of anime horror in my mind, and dreamed of what
to do with my victim in the morning after my night of "inspiration".
On day 2,I went back in and hosed him off for a bit (stupid bastard actually
took a shit where he was hanging. Did'nt his mommy ever toilet train this
loser? Maybe if I hang him upside down,that will movivate him not to soil MY
dungeon with his post-digested corn dog matter feces). I pepper-maced him
again to punish him for his wrongdoing. And left him to enjoy the sensation of
blood running into his upside-down head. I found this came in convenient for
when I later kicked him in the mellon because there was another "Life With
Louie" cartoon on my TV that day.
On day 3 I thought Mister Animator may be hungry by now. So I unlocked the
door and undid his gag. Just as soon as I did he started to beg and plead for
his pitifull,useless (and soon to be short) life. "SHUT YER CAKE HOLE,YOU
WHINER!" I shouted back and shoved a fistful of dry Alpo into his gob. "I
could have brought you something to drink with this",I told him. "But YOU have
to continue to be an asshole about things. NOW you'll just have to eat it dry
and I don't give a rat's ass if it makes you thirsty,you arrogant piece of
shit you!". I gave him a twist in the scrotum before I left. Dumb fucker cost
me a good twenty bucks that I had to spend on dog food. I could've blown that
money on some good beer instead.
On day 4 I went back in to remove the monitors and headphones and start to
work on his body. Great! Just fucking great! Now the sumuvabitch took a piss
all over himself too! And to top it all of,Mister Animator was trying to get
some of it to land into his open,bone-dry mouth! Surprised the fuckstain
did'nt get any on the monitors on his face and electocute himself (*I* wanted
to have the honor of doing that to him, Goddammit!).
Stupid,nogood goddamn sunuvabitch! Now I've got to go hook up the garden hose
again and rinse him down (again). Fuck! Fuck! FUCK!!
By the time I got the hose packed away afterward,I was in a really good &
angry mood to get to work on this filthy creature in my basement. First I took
out all of his teeth with a pair of pliers so he won't mark up any more of my
ball gags. I started with pulling out a few,but it took too fucking long and
decided to just swing a wrench into his chops until I was able to smash them
all out. Good thing his head was directly over the drain too. Boy,he sure was
a bleeder.
I took a good look over his body to decide where to start first. Man,this guy
_REALLY_ had an ugly unit on him,and as the saying goes, "if thine eye
offendeth thee,pluck it out". So without further delay,I tied the base of his
peepee off with some twist-ties to cut off the circulation and did a "Bobbitt"
to him. The dog seemed happy to recieve his new chew-toy that day.
Next,I decided that he can see what I will do to him with one eye as well as
two,so I plunked my winecork opener into his left orb and shlurped it out of
his socket. Fucking bastard was quite a chore too,what with all those muscles
and tendons holding it in,but that's what exacto-knives are for,are they not?
Again,the dog in the back yard was grateful.
Mister dingleberry animator snottyass was starting to pass out by now (what?
How dare he!! I was just getting started! The ungrateful fuck!). I gave him a
syringe of "happy stuff" to keep him wide awake during his last moments. The
injections began to take place more and more frequently in order to keep him
wide-eyed. I thought about surprizing him during one injection and seeing what
he would do when he found out the hypo had Liquid Draino in it instead.
Well,what's a torture session without something being done to the ol nads,eh?
I thought about what items I could use in my arsenal. Butcher knife? Nah,too
messy. I decided to be creative (something I bet this no-talent fucker ever
was,huh?). I put on some insulated gloves and got out a beaker of liquid
nitrogen to pour onto his nutsack. Within a few seconds his beans were instant
ice cubes. I remember when the teacher in high school did this to a tennis
ball once and then shattered it with a mallet. I wondered if it would work the
same with a pair of testes,and you know what? They did. Who sez you don't
learn anything useful in science class?
Well,enough of working on the external areas,let's get inside! I was still
wondering if my victim may still have a few nuggets left in his colon,so I
decided to flush them out,just in case he may shoot some at me when I was busy
working him over. A rubber hose,a water bottle,and a can of turpentine. YOU
figure it out.
Wait a minute! My victim is trying to tell me something. Let me take out the
gag fr a moment...............
What is it,you bastard you!? TALK!
"Moan.....mmmmmmmmmoan....moooooaaaan!".........sounds to me like he's trying
to say "mmmore,mmmore,mmmmmore!" to me. So hard to tell with those bloody gums
of his.
Okay then, MORE it is,Mister Animator.
I decided to play "Rocky" (the first movie),with my friend the animator here
as the side of beef. I whumped on his kidney areas to see how many direct hits
it would take before he would start pissing red.
DADA-DAAAAAAA......<WHOOMPF!
POW!>......DADA-DAAAAAAAAA............<*PUM*PUM*PUM*PUM*PUM*WHOOMPF! *PUM*PUM*POW>............
DAMN! I've been punching away at this guy for over an hour and a half,and he
has'nt squirted a drop! What's wrong with this sunuvabitch?
Oh,that's right......I still had the twist tie around his dick stump all this
time. Let me undo it.
Yep,there it flows,red as Hawiian Punch.
Hmmmmm,that stump is starting to look a bit rancid. Better get out the rock
salt to help dry up the pus.
Taking a tip from Saint Jeffrey of Wisconsin,I decided to see if running a
power drill through his mellon would have any effect on his behavior.
I'LL SAY! He made the funniest looking facial expressions as the bit made it
past the layer of skull and right into the brain tissue.
Then he just sort of hung like a limp rag doll. Still breathing,but nobody
home. So sad. He did'nt even flinch when I rubbed his skin with a power sander
and splashed rubbing alchohol on him.
This gutbag is no longer fun,dammit. Time to take out the trash!
What did I do with veggie-boy,the now former hot shit animator,you ask?
Well,let's just say that the black-market organ banks in Mexico pay pretty
darn well (in American dollars) if you can bring 'em in still breathing and
with most of the internal parts intact. At least I made back the twenty it
cost me for the dog food.
Now,I wonder what's going on at Disney?
HubCity
In article <34B4814E...@treesplat.com>, Bo...@treesplat.com says...
>
>First of all,let's get something straight; I hate animators.
>
>
First off: obvious troll.
Secondly: the posting host is newscene.newscene.com. Love letters should
probably be sent to ad...@newscene.com, though higher minds than mine may wish
to investigate whether the path has also been forged...
Thirdly: Don't reply to this message; the poster isn't reading and doesn't
care. Any vitriol you care to share can be forwarded to the admins along the
path.
Headers from the original are:
> Message-ID: <34B4814E...@treesplat.com>
> Date: Thu, 08 Jan 1998 01:33:35 -0600
> From: "K-THUDD!!" <Bo...@treesplat.com>
> Reply-To: rea...@riverstyx.net
> Organization: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT TREE!"
> X-Mailer: Mozilla 4.04 (Macintosh; I; PPC)
> MIME-Version: 1.0
> Newsgroups: alt.tasteless,rec.arts.animation,alt.shenanigans,alt.slack
> Subject: ALL ANIMATORS MUST DIE!!
> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii
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> Lines: 168
> Path:
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28.230.129.106!news.maxwell.syr.edu!novia!newscene!strip_path
> Xref: wn7 alt.tasteless:53711 rec.arts.animation:28261 alt.shenanigans:15810
alt.slack:157233
Powerslave
RE: ALL ANIMATORS MUST DIE!!
BY: rea...@riverstyx.net
Please, sir. Let's leave the animators of South Park alone.
It may not be a cartoon, but it IS an animated program.
And as long as it continues to piss of Christians and whoever else, I give the
show, its creators, and its producers all the respect in the world.
Origin: Alpha Centauri BBS * 609-227-2101
Rabbi Jesus H. Cosby
Oh, so all american animation is crap, and all anime is great? Akira,
yes, but overfiend was just fucking stupid. And next time try to shorten
it down, fanboy.
Juan F. Lara
In article <34B5C9...@hotmail.com>,
Rabbi Jesus H. Cosby <iw...@hotmail.com> wrote:
> Oh, so all american animation is crap, and all anime is great?
That bastard seemed to pick up on only the violence in those two films.
Doesn't that piss off real anime fans when someone thinks anime is just violence?
- Juan F. Lara
http://ccwf.cc.utexas.edu/~jfl/intro.html
Headline: Recent Celebrity Deaths Lead to Public Backlash Against Trees