Cats and Dates.......

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an...@anon.penet.fi

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Aug 24, 1993, 9:19:01 AM8/24/93
to

[Please don't flame me for posting anonymously. One of the women
I am interested in - a potential girlfriend, I hope - follows the
net, and for reasons which will become apparent I don't want to
scare her off.]

I have two cats - Sootikin (Sooti for short) a 2-year old female, and Choad.
Choad (stupid name) is a neutered tom who was dumped on me by my scumbag
ex-roomate (he had been given it by one of the *two* women he was dating
at the time).

I'm not what you would call a real studly type guy (although I
have a lot of women friends), so when I date it's really important
to me. Anyway, Sooti goes into heat something fierce (sometimes
it seems like it's two weeks on, two weeks off). I had a date a
while back, when she was really bad. Yowling, and presenting all
the time - not the most auspicious setting for a date. While
dinner was cooking, I tried to stimulate her vagina with a Q-tip because
I had heard that one can induce ovulation that way. My date
came into the bathroom while I was doing this, and needless to
say I don't think she bought my explanation. The date was a very
icy experience after that.

Choad's problem is that he has really stinky shits (paint peelers).
During my most recent date - I don't know if this was a
jealousy thing - he shit in bathtub. I live in a loft, and the
bathroom is open for ventilation, so in a few seconds we were
gasping for air. Another date ruined, I'm getting desperate.

What should I do. I love my cats, so I don't want to get rid of
them, but I can't go on like this any more. It's my love life,
or them. Please help!!!

Moby (not my real name ;-) Sooti & Choad

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Seagull

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Aug 24, 1993, 10:10:55 AM8/24/93
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In article <132315Z...@anon.penet.fi> an...@anon.penet.fi writes:
>
>[Please don't flame me for posting anonymously. One of the women
>I am interested in - a potential girlfriend, I hope - follows the
>net, and for reasons which will become apparent I don't want to
>scare her off.]

*unbelievably ridiculous tale deleted*

>What should I do. I love my cats, so I don't want to get rid of
>them, but I can't go on like this any more. It's my love life,
>or them. Please help!!!

Get a sense of humor, and a life. In that order.

--
"All my possessions for a moment of time."
- Queen Elizabeth I

sea...@mentor.cc.purdue.edu

Lenore Levine

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Aug 24, 1993, 11:09:13 AM8/24/93
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an...@anon.penet.fi writes:

>[Please don't flame me for posting anonymously. One of the women
>I am interested in - a potential girlfriend, I hope - follows the
>net, and for reasons which will become apparent I don't want to
>scare her off.]

(Gross stories about cats interfering with dates.)

Note that this is the second gross story about cats interfering
with dates to appear today. In each instance, the author posts
to both rec.pets.cats, and alt.romance, asking for advice.

The first such posting was not anonymous, and the authors email
address included the name "squick." For more information about
"squicking," consult the FAQ of alt.tasteless.

I suspect that, in both cases, the incidents described did not
really happen.

Lenore Levine

Jim Charters

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Aug 24, 1993, 11:40:14 AM8/24/93
to

OK, fuckwits, which one of you is the alt.romance/rec.pets.cats
lurker? The one that spilled the beans?

It had to be an a.t.er, since those in a.r and r.p.c obviously don't
have the brains for such sophisticated sleuthing......

My Rottweiller and chainsaw await thee.


--
Jim Charters
Geophysicist & Chief Computer Flunkey / University of Toronto Geology
Toronto / Ont. / CANADA / M5S 3B1 / char...@quartz.geology.utoronto.ca

Vicki Holzhauer

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Aug 24, 1993, 3:37:59 PM8/24/93
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In article <desiree_mccror...@kip-4.apple.com> desiree_...@gateway.qm.apple.com (Desiree McCrorey) writes:
>
>Maybe it was the timing, maybe it was something else I heard this morning,
>but I nearly fell of my chair, laughing. Just picturing this makes me
>chuckle. It's like something on Saturday night Live.

Actually, more like one of those mail-in video shows. I saw a clip on
one of those of a cat walking by a lit candle and ending up with its
tail on fire ...

--
Vicki Holzhauer, National Center for Atmospheric Research
Boulder, Colorado / / / / vi...@ncar.ucar.edu
Co-Founder and Charter Member, STOFF

Julian Macassey

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Aug 24, 1993, 6:36:31 PM8/24/93
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In article <1993Aug24....@llyene.jpl.nasa.gov> ju...@eddie.jpl.nasa.gov (Julie Kangas) writes:
>In article <CC9rF...@news.cso.uiuc.edu> lev...@symcom.math.uiuc.edu (Lenore Levine) writes:
>>an...@anon.penet.fi writes:
>>
>>>[Please don't flame me for posting anonymously. One of the women
>>>I am interested in - a potential girlfriend, I hope - follows the
>>>net, and for reasons which will become apparent I don't want to
>>>scare her off.]
>>
>>(Gross stories about cats interfering with dates.)
>>
>>Note that this is the second gross story about cats interfering
>>with dates to appear today. In each instance, the author posts
>>to both rec.pets.cats, and alt.romance, asking for advice.
>>
>>I suspect that, in both cases, the incidents described did not
>>really happen.
>
>No. It's merely alt.tasteless jerking the chain of rec.pets.cats
>and alt.romance. rec.pets.cats is apparently very well known as
>being easy to jerk around and get people all fired up. People
>already know my ideas on what to do -- but if you want to start
>flaming back and forth and screaming at sysadims, then go for it.
>I think it's better to ignore things, but whatever. I've had
>enough email from people all upset at me for suggesting we ignore
>posts we don't like that I'm now of the opinion that if r.p.cats
>gets trashed then I'm just going to enjoy the show.
>
>I have however removed alt.tasteless from the newsgroups line.
>Something to think about.

Really? How interesting. I wonder why you did that?

--
Julian Macassey, N6ARE jul...@bongo.tele.com Voice: (213) 653-4495
Paper Mail: 742 1/2 North Hayworth Avenue, Hollywood, California 90046-7142

Mike Weber

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Aug 24, 1993, 7:37:16 PM8/24/93
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In a previous article, an...@anon.penet.fi () says:
>I have two cats - Sootikin (Sooti for short) a 2-year old female, and Choad.
>Choad (stupid name) is a neutered tom who was dumped on me by my scumbag
>ex-roomate (he had been given it by one of the *two* women he was dating
>at the time).
>
> [ tasteless story about cat deleted ]

>
>What should I do. I love my cats, so I don't want to get rid of
>them, but I can't go on like this any more. It's my love life,
>or them. Please help!!!

Did God come down from the heavens and give us a posting to start a
alt.tastestless/rec.pets.cats/alt.romance flame war? Its got cats!
It's got romance (failed)! Its got tastelessness!

Steve Howie

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Aug 24, 1993, 10:15:31 PM8/24/93
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Mike Weber (do...@cleveland.Freenet.Edu) wrote:

: In a previous article, an...@anon.penet.fi () says:
: >I have two cats - Sootikin (Sooti for short) a 2-year old female, and Choad.
: >Choad (stupid name) is a neutered tom who was dumped on me by my scumbag
: >ex-roomate (he had been given it by one of the *two* women he was dating
: >at the time).

: >

Why the fuck do people give cats really trendy names like Sootikin? My
cats name is Hamish .. nice Scottish name. I knew someone who called his
cat Fred. Must be fargin yuppies who probably call their children
Ashley, or Brett, or Troy or Chad, or Jason, Mellissa or even *gag* Biff

Fuckwits :)

Scotty

--
=========================================================================
Steve Howie | email: sho...@uoguelph.ca
Computing and Comm. Services | Fax: (519) 763-6143
University of Guelph | Phone: (519) 824-4120 x2556
Guelph, Ontario CANADA N1G 2W1 |

If its not Scottish it's C-r-r-raaaaaaaaaapppp!!

Todd Radel

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Aug 25, 1993, 1:10:38 AM8/25/93
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>I have two cats - Sootikin (Sooti for short) a 2-year old female, and Choad.
>Choad (stupid name) is a neutered tom who was dumped on me by my scumbag
>ex-roomate (he had been given it by one of the *two* women he was dating
>at the time).

[story of cats ruining his next-to-nonexistent social life deleted.]

I would recommend multiple .357 copper-jacketed hollowpoints. Straight
through the arsehole, if you can manage it. A friend of mine has
an S&W .357; I always wanted to borrow it for this purpose, just to see
what the resulting mess would look like.

Or perhaps explosive-tipped would be better? You decide.

Goddamn hairballs.

--
_______________________________________________________________________________
Todd Radel, 230 lbs. of Marlboro-smokin', Grolsch-drinkin' cynicism
ra...@bach.udel.edu
"I'm a joker, I'm a smoker, I'm a midnight toker..."

Sundance

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Aug 25, 1993, 1:41:16 AM8/25/93
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ra...@bach.udel.edu (Todd Radel) writes:

>[story of cats ruining his next-to-nonexistent social life deleted.]

>I would recommend multiple .357 copper-jacketed hollowpoints. Straight
>through the arsehole, if you can manage it. A friend of mine has

^^^^^^^^

The arsehole. Is that anywhere near the Puddy Lips?

>Or perhaps explosive-tipped would be better? You decide.

I can't. It's driving me crazy. Really.

>Goddamn hairballs.

Stop licking yourself then.

Dale R. Worley

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Aug 24, 1993, 8:15:35 PM8/24/93
to
I have two cats - Sootikin (Sooti for short) a 2-year old female, and Choad.
Choad (stupid name) is a neutered tom who was dumped on me by my scumbag
ex-roomate (he had been given it by one of the *two* women he was dating
at the time).

Ignoring whether this is a true story, I'm sort of amused that the
author considers dating more than one woman at a time unacceptable,
when even Miss Manners considers it acceptable. (I can send you the
reference, if you care.)

Dale

Dale Worley Dept. of Math., MIT d...@math.mit.edu
--
In his recent book, /More Like Us/, Japan expert James Fallows argued
convincingly that instead of trying to ape Japan's regimented
industrial economy, the United States would do better to unleash its
individualistic potential. This may be another way of saying that
weirdness can be an export commodity.
-- Walter Kirn, "Valley of the Nerds"

Todd Radel

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Aug 25, 1993, 2:17:43 AM8/25/93
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In article <vseaman.746257188@access> vse...@access.digex.net (Sundance) writes:

>ra...@bach.udel.edu (Todd Radel) writes:
>
>>I would recommend multiple .357 copper-jacketed hollowpoints. Straight
>>through the arsehole, if you can manage it. A friend of mine has
> ^^^^^^^^
> The arsehole. Is that anywhere near the Puddy Lips?

Well, I honestly don't know. By the time I get through with the little
vermin, there usually isn't enough left for me to identify individual
*parts*, so to speak. Next time, I'll use a nailgun, so I should be
able to report back within a week or so.


>>Goddamn hairballs.
>
> Stop licking yourself then.

Go on! You're just jealous.

Zeke

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Aug 25, 1993, 5:00:49 AM8/25/93
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Todd Radel (ra...@bach.udel.edu) wrote:

: In article <132315Z...@anon.penet.fi> an...@anon.penet.fi writes:
: >
: >I have two cats - Sootikin (Sooti for short) a 2-year old female, and Choad.
: >Choad (stupid name) is a neutered tom who was dumped on me by my scumbag
: >ex-roomate (he had been given it by one of the *two* women he was dating
: >at the time).

: [story of cats ruining his next-to-nonexistent social life deleted.]

: I would recommend multiple .357 copper-jacketed hollowpoints. Straight
: through the arsehole, if you can manage it. A friend of mine has
: an S&W .357; I always wanted to borrow it for this purpose, just to see
: what the resulting mess would look like.

: Or perhaps explosive-tipped would be better? You decide.

: Goddamn hairballs.

A good Kitty Squick always works for me. Only problem is, not much room
for your ManTool (tm). Course, that wouldn't be a problem for most men on
rec.pets.cats....

-Zeke

Graeme Hodgson

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Aug 25, 1993, 6:24:56 AM8/25/93
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In article <CCAuD...@news.udel.edu> ra...@bach.udel.edu (Todd Radel) writes:
>
>I would recommend multiple .357 copper-jacketed hollowpoints. Straight
>through the arsehole, if you can manage it. A friend of mine has
>an S&W .357; I always wanted to borrow it for this purpose, just to see
>what the resulting mess would look like.

Now you'd have to be real careful. If you don't line the gun up
longitudinally with the cat, or if there's a kink in its spine, then
the bullet's gonna exit through the side of the animal rather than out
through the head so your gonna miss out on spraying the wall with
gloop.

Try nailing it to a breadboard first to make sure its straight and
stop it moving too much.

Graeme (just trying to help...)
--
email to gra...@fulcrum.co.uk -- whenever the mood takes you
"..and don't forget to wrap up warm, dear" -- my mum

Don Christie

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Aug 25, 1993, 8:15:17 AM8/25/93
to

I don't know....

(reposted from alt.tasteless a day or two ago)

There was a story in the Daily Mirror 'newspaper' in the UK
a while back about a guy who was arrested by British Transport
Police for 'defiling an animal on the 8.15 to Euston' !!

Apparently, he was sitting with a cat on his lap, got up to
go to the toilet and didn't return to his seat for about 20
mins - the police were alerted by a kindly old lady who was
concerned about the screeching and hissing eminating from the
toliet cubicle !!

According to the report - the police broke down the door and
found the cat lying in the wash basin, half dead with it's
arse split open !

This may be one for our friends in alt.sad.demented.got-no-friends.
except.fluffy.the.cat ?!?!?

Tim


//Don
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
She was a French girl, and very pretty... I knew she was in love with me
when she started calling me pet names, like `salle cochon'... -- Herbie

the Wandering Soul

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Aug 25, 1993, 9:06:00 PM8/25/93
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d...@euler.mit.edu (Dale R. Worley) writes:
> In article <132315Z...@anon.penet.fi> an...@anon.penet.fi writes:
> Choad (stupid name) is a neutered tom who was dumped on me by my scumbag
> ex-roomate (he had been given it by one of the *two* women he was dating
> at the time).
>
> Ignoring whether this is a true story, I'm sort of amused that the
> author considers dating more than one woman at a time unacceptable,
> when even Miss Manners considers it acceptable. (I can send you the
> reference, if you care.)
>
> Dale Worley Dept. of Math., MIT d...@math.mit.edu
> --

Dale,

Please read the entire text before flaming the poor guy. It was his
EX-roommate who had been dating two women, not an686. I'm sure that this guy
would be happy with _just one_ woman, if she wouldn't be scared off by his
cats.

You really can't fault him for being so giving that he would actually
take in two cats that were dumped on him. He's just trying to make the best of
a difficult situation.

Besides, I also think that Choad is a stupid name for a cat, it
would be much a more appropriate name for a salamander.


P.S. Why is alt.tasteles in the newsgroups line? I would have taken
it out but my newsreader won't let me.


--
"A little love, A little happiness, it's what makes life special.
Try to touch everyones life in some small way and make it just a little
bit more meaningful. And make our journey here on this small orb more than
just a brief flickering of a candle." -- the Wandering Soul (me)

Chris Pikus

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Aug 26, 1993, 8:13:48 AM8/26/93
to
an...@anon.penet.fi wrote:
:
: Choad's problem is that he has really stinky shits (paint peelers).

: During my most recent date - I don't know if this was a
: jealousy thing - he shit in bathtub. I live in a loft, and the
: bathroom is open for ventilation, so in a few seconds we were
: gasping for air. Another date ruined, I'm getting desperate.
:

Choad needs a buttplug. Of course, it's kind of tough getting
one small enough to fit your cat; you might have to make one. An added
benefit is that if properly inserted, it will press against his prostate.
A fact for which he will be most grateful. You will be able to tell if
he starts dragging his butt along the ground all evening to wiggle the
buttplug.

Otherwise, you could give Choad a kitty enema to pre-emptively
remove the paint peeling shits.

:
: Moby (not my real name ;-) Sooti & Choad
:

--
Chris J. Pikus | "[her] heart isn't in the right place, unless it's impaled
Crash Timesharing | on my cock through the aorta, still beating, with the ven-
El Cahon, Calif | tricles and atria alternately servicing the head and shaft.
c...@crash.cts.com | Cardiac-caressed (tm)." -- Ken Alexander

Petter Kristiansen

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Aug 26, 1993, 11:33:11 AM8/26/93
to
So your cats ruin your sex-life, eh? Your cats giving you trouble
with your women?

What to do, what to do? Simple.

Start having sex with your cats, give up women totally. Really,
it's the easiest way. Seems you were already good underway.


----
Petter Kristiansen(cyberjockey) Here lies Edmund Blackadder, and he's
pet...@ifi.uio.no bloody annoyed!
Dept. of Informatics, University of Oslo nuclear

Steve Poole

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Aug 26, 1993, 5:13:09 PM8/26/93
to
In article <1993Aug26....@megatek.com>, c...@megatek.com (the
Wandering Soul) wrote:

> d...@euler.mit.edu (Dale R. Worley) writes:
> > In article <132315Z...@anon.penet.fi> an...@anon.penet.fi writes:
> > Choad (stupid name) is a neutered tom who was dumped on me by my scumbag
> > ex-roomate (he had been given it by one of the *two* women he was dating
> > at the time).
> >
> > Ignoring whether this is a true story, I'm sort of amused that the
> > author considers dating more than one woman at a time unacceptable,
> > when even Miss Manners considers it acceptable. (I can send you the
> > reference, if you care.)
> >
>

> Please read the entire text before flaming the poor guy. It was his
> EX-roommate who had been dating two women, not an686. I'm sure that this guy
> would be happy with _just one_ woman, if she wouldn't be scared off by his
> cats.

Really, one would be hard pressed to come up with a better example of
reading comprehension ineptitude.

ObRomance: A really attractive chick walks her dog past my place
nearly every day. In order to meet her I've been thinking of renting
a Ryder truck and getting a friend to drive it straight through
her dog. I'd rush out and commiserate in the hopes that our shared
grief would result in a frenzied, savage romp on the curb. Do you
romantic types think this would work?

ObCat: I can't wait until my Savannah monitor is large enough to hork
down live kittens. Mice and rats are fine for now, but kittens have
such big, soulful eyes.

ObTasteless: Do you scan the newsgroup every day in hopes that Snedker
and Rauli will have teamed up to write a vile little fantasy about
Trashcan Man and Roy?

> "A little love, A little happiness, it's what makes life special.
> Try to touch everyones life in some small way and make it just a little
> bit more meaningful. And make our journey here on this small orb more than
> just a brief flickering of a candle." -- the Wandering Soul (me)

I'd like to touch your life in some small way with an 8 horsepower drill
press and a red-hot corkscrew.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------
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- "Nurse! Do let's pretend that I'm a hungry hyaena, and you're a bone!" -
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Robert Weirick

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Aug 26, 1993, 7:06:07 PM8/26/93
to
In article <CC9oq...@mentor.cc.purdue.edu>,

sea...@mentor.cc.purdue.edu (Seagull) writes:
>
> In article <132315Z...@anon.penet.fi> an...@anon.penet.fi writes:
> >
> >[Please don't flame me for posting anonymously. One of the women
> >I am interested in - a potential girlfriend, I hope - follows the
> >net, and for reasons which will become apparent I don't want to
> >scare her off.]
>
> *unbelievably ridiculous tale deleted*

>
> >What should I do. I love my cats, so I don't want to get rid of
> >them, but I can't go on like this any more. It's my love life,
> >or them. Please help!!!
>
> Get a sense of humor, and a life. In that order.
>
Hear hear!, Well, ok, get a sense of humor, (sounds like he has some
kind of life?!).

Hey man, I have two adorable (6&7 years old) collies. They get EXTREMELY
jealous when I am dating anyone.
Two normally well trained/behaved animals turn in to the canine
equivilent of Mr. Hyde. I guess you might
say that dogs are a little more responsive to discipline, but hey, you
are THE DUDE to your animals,
If its really causing this many absurd problems in your love life, buy a
couple of cat carriers,
(y'know, what you [hopefully] use to ferry your kitties to the vet?),
and incarcerate them for the duration
of your date.
Besides, I have noticed that most women don't mind going out for dinner
in a nice little outdoor
cafe/restruant, with dancing and/or walking in some cool evening air.
(yes your mileage may vary),
I mean, do you NEED to take your dates to your house/apt.????

> --
> "All my possessions for a moment of time."
> - Queen Elizabeth I
>
> sea...@mentor.cc.purdue.edu

Rob, - I'VE GOT BLISTERS ON MY FINGERS - no, I play guitar!

Mike Weber

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Aug 26, 1993, 10:34:02 PM8/26/93
to

This is disgusting! What a bunch of sick people!

Trashcan Man

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Aug 26, 1993, 9:39:40 PM8/26/93
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In article <stevep-26...@150.215.25.54> ste...@wrq.com (Steve Poole) writes:

>ObTasteless: Do you scan the newsgroup every day in hopes that Snedker
>and Rauli will have teamed up to write a vile little fantasy about
>Trashcan Man and Roy?

I can't wait!

Trashcan Man.

--
==============================================================================
Trashcan Man is '73 VW Fastback = ) \/
to...@Panix.Com It's Not A Car It's A =\\/ \/\/
(Constantino Tobio, Jr.) V O L K S W A G E N -\/\

Ed Carp

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Aug 27, 1993, 2:35:56 AM8/27/93
to
Todd Radel (ra...@bach.udel.edu) wrote:

: In article <132315Z...@anon.penet.fi> an...@anon.penet.fi writes:
: >
: >I have two cats - Sootikin (Sooti for short) a 2-year old female, and Choad.
: >Choad (stupid name) is a neutered tom who was dumped on me by my scumbag
: >ex-roomate (he had been given it by one of the *two* women he was dating
: >at the time).

: [story of cats ruining his next-to-nonexistent social life deleted.]

: I would recommend multiple .357 copper-jacketed hollowpoints. Straight
: through the arsehole, if you can manage it. A friend of mine has
: an S&W .357; I always wanted to borrow it for this purpose, just to see
: what the resulting mess would look like.

I think the only problem would be to get his date to lean over long enough
for him to deliver the coup-d'-gras... I mean, really ... if a woman doesn't
like cats, well, like my mother always said, "there's plenty of fish in the
sea". Sooner or later I'll find a woman who likes both me and my cats and
whom SnowCat and Isis are enamored of.

: Or perhaps explosive-tipped would be better? You decide.

Well, they *do* make quite a mess unless the woman is fairly obese - then
they just tend to make a small hole going in...

: Goddamn hairballs.

What does this have to do with taking care of this guy's date?
--
Ed Carp, N7EKG e...@apple.com 510/659-9560
anon...@khijol.uucp
If you want magic, let go of your armor. Magic is so much stronger than
steel! -- Richard Bach, "The Bridge Across Forever"

Muttley

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Aug 27, 1993, 3:30:55 AM8/27/93
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In article <1993Aug26.2...@integrity.uucp>, ro...@jabberwock.Berkeley.EDU (Robert Weirick) writes:

> Hey man, I have two adorable (6&7 years old) collies. They get EXTREMELY
> jealous when I am dating anyone.


Yeah, my dog (big ol' Chow/Newfie mix...cute, smart, and mean as hell.)
tends to get jealous of someone taking attention from him - but he goes about
things in a slightly different way. He makes sure that he becomes the center of
the girl's attention, by attempting to sit in her lap (ha ha ha an 85lb lap dog.
Real funny...goddamn mutt...) Usually wrecks an otherwise decent evening. That
and a good nose in the crotch works wonders at getting them to leave. I'm
wondering if anyone has any good recepies for dog???

Mike


--
+---------------------------------+-------------------------------------+
| Michael P. Simone | "Does he still have cheese whiz in |
| a.k.a. Muttley | his shorts?" |
| msi...@mcs.kent.edu | -Portnoy |
+---------------------------------+-------------------------------------+
Kent State University claims full responsibility for all of my words
and actions, as they brainwashed me into believing them.

Tones rĖ:uniter

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Aug 27, 1993, 10:53:52 AM8/27/93
to

> What should I do. I love my cats, so I don't want to get rid of
> them, but I can't go on like this any more. It's my love life,
> or them. Please help!!!


Put either one of them (cat/"lovelife") in the microwave have a party
and inviteyourneighbours on a true tasteless-tripp...

--
/~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~| When I come up \
/ pt9...@pt.hk-r.se |~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\
/ ______ _ ____________________________ | When I rush \
/ jon|e |~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\
/~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~| I rush for you \

Chris Systems Stud Pikus

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Aug 27, 1993, 7:27:39 PM8/27/93
to
msi...@Nimitz.mcs.kent.edu (Muttley) writes:
>
[deleted]

>
> Real funny...goddamn mutt...) Usually wrecks an otherwise decent evening. That
> and a good nose in the crotch works wonders at getting them to leave. I'm
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Yeah, and if they don't leave, you know you have it made.

ObTasteless: A tasteless romantic encounter, facilitated by a dog.
ObRomance: A tasteless romantic encounter, interrupted by a dog.

--
Christopher J. Pikus, | ".... what I really want is to lick her naked body
Megatek Corporation | from head to foot like a postage stamp. ....did I
San Diego, California | mention that I used to collect stamps as a kid?"
EMAIL: c...@megatek.com | -- Joel Fleischman _Northern Exposure_

Bob Erkamp

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Aug 27, 1993, 1:15:58 PM8/27/93
to
In article <desiree_mccror...@kip-4.apple.com>, desiree_...@gateway.qm.apple.com (Desiree McCrorey) writes:
>
>Maybe it was the timing, maybe it was something else I heard this morning,
>but I nearly fell of my chair, laughing. Just picturing this makes me
>chuckle. It's like something on Saturday night Live.
>
>
>However, I have been told that my sense of humor is sometimes wierd. I also
>like Ren & Stimpy. There's no accounting for taste.
>

I too thought this was hilarious. Come on you got to have a sense of humor.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bob Erkamp A L B E R T A
--> It Could Happen <-- R E S E A R C H
erk...@arc.ab.ca C O U N C I L
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dale R. Worley

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Aug 28, 1993, 2:00:06 PM8/28/93
to
In article <1993Aug26....@megatek.com> c...@megatek.com (the Wandering Soul) writes:
d...@euler.mit.edu (Dale R. Worley) writes:
> In article <132315Z...@anon.penet.fi> an...@anon.penet.fi writes:
> Choad (stupid name) is a neutered tom who was dumped on me by my scumbag
> ex-roomate (he had been given it by one of the *two* women he was dating
> at the time).
>
> Ignoring whether this is a true story, I'm sort of amused that the
> author considers dating more than one woman at a time unacceptable,
> when even Miss Manners considers it acceptable. (I can send you the
> reference, if you care.)

Please read the entire text before flaming the poor guy. It was his


EX-roommate who had been dating two women, not an686. I'm sure that this guy
would be happy with _just one_ woman, if she wouldn't be scared off by his
cats.

Perhaps I was unclear. My impression from "an686"s remarks is that he
considers dating more than one woman at a time to be unacceptable. I
was looking down upon him as being rather narrow-minded, when even
Miss Manners considers dating more than one person to be acceptable.

Besides, I also think that Choad is a stupid name for a cat, it
would be much a more appropriate name for a salamander.

I believe the name has some sort of historical significance. Perhaps
you should ask the poster for an explanation?

P.S. Why is alt.tasteles in the newsgroups line? I would have taken
it out but my newsreader won't let me.

Yes, there is quite a lot of low-quality newsreader software out
there.

"A little love, A little happiness, it's what makes life special.
Try to touch everyones life in some small way and make it just a little
bit more meaningful. And make our journey here on this small orb more than
just a brief flickering of a candle." -- the Wandering Soul (me)

"The way to a man's heart is through his ribcage".

Dale

Dale Worley Dept. of Math., MIT d...@math.mit.edu
--

Sex is just the beginning, but if you miss the beginning you'll miss
the end, too.

matthew Reinker

unread,
Aug 30, 1993, 7:17:11 PM8/30/93
to
I think Moby(Not his real fuckin' name) is going about the deal all
wrong. Who gives a fuck how he can stop his cats from ovulatin' and
shittin' on his dates. First of all Sooti should be fixed. Take her to
the vet and get her Ovaries ripped out. Or you can do it at home using a
weedeater, duct tape and a gallon of antiseptic.
As for Chaoad(However it's spelled). I find that if you lock him in a
file cabinet in the garage, your date will only notice a curious yowling
which you can blame on the neighbors kids. Tell'er they're squickin'
fluffy. Impress her with those big five buck tasteless words. But don't
give her any definitions until after you fuck'er, unless she's an A.T.er.
Then it's a turn-on.
Well, I hope this advice is helpful. Remember prevention and
preperation can solve any problem.

X

--
"Pathetic victims of arrested development! * mrei...@nyx.cs.du.edu
Prepare to hear the VOICE of REASON!!!!" * (Matt Reinker)
~~~~The Chainsaw Vigilante~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I have no idea where these opinions came from. It's not my fault!!!

Paul Rosham

unread,
Aug 30, 1993, 11:53:07 PM8/30/93
to
ro...@jabberwock.Berkeley.EDU (Robert Weirick) writes:
>
>If its really causing this many absurd problems in your love life, buy a
>couple of cat carriers,
>(y'know, what you [hopefully] use to ferry your kitties to the vet?),
>and incarcerate them for the duration
>of your date.

Dammit, _incinerate_ them for the duration of your date. These animals need
some discipline.

And if they shit on the rug, give them a damn good boot up the clacker.

-PaulR.
[And then I had to clean up that damn kitty-turd afterwards. The smell really
made me gag. It tasted alright, though.]

Mark Pundurs

unread,
Sep 2, 1993, 12:57:06 PM9/2/93
to
d...@euler.mit.edu (Dale R. Worley) writes:

>In article <1993Aug26....@megatek.com> c...@megatek.com (the Wandering Soul) writes:

> "A little love, A little happiness, it's what makes life special.
> Try to touch everyones life in some small way and make it just a little
> bit more meaningful. And make our journey here on this small orb more than
> just a brief flickering of a candle." -- the Wandering Soul (me)

I hear candles flare up when farted on.
--
Mark Pundurs

any resemblance between my opinions and those
of Wolfram Research, Inc. is purely coincidental

Mike Weber

unread,
Sep 5, 1993, 2:01:11 PM9/5/93
to

In a previous article, markp@vostok (Mark Pundurs) says:

>d...@euler.mit.edu (Dale R. Worley) writes:
>
>>In article <1993Aug26....@megatek.com> c...@megatek.com (the Wandering Soul) writes:
>
>> "A little love, A little happiness, it's what makes life special.
>> Try to touch everyones life in some small way and make it just a little
>> bit more meaningful. And make our journey here on this small orb more than
>> just a brief flickering of a candle." -- the Wandering Soul (me)
>
>I hear candles flare up when farted on.

I heard a cat once got too close to a candle and caught its tail on fire once...

John Lindsay

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Sep 6, 1993, 10:16:56 PM9/6/93
to

I've noticed some guys need to do this as a substitute for personality.

Jono.. who doesn't need anon servers
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Byron-on-line V32bis (08) 364 2017 2400baud (08) 364 2016
DOS+U*ix = Veritas
jlin...@byron.apana.org.au SysOp 018 823541 (08) 364 3610 FAX

seligman...@gmail.com

unread,
Aug 27, 2013, 6:29:26 AM8/27/13
to
Wow this thread hasn't been replied to for 20 years!

Faint Glow

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Aug 27, 2013, 1:45:41 PM8/27/13
to
It's better at home because I have chains on the walls and can guard the
front door to prevent exit.
--
LOVE
and
DARKNESS
and
MY SIDEARM

nighto...@gmail.com

unread,
Aug 22, 2014, 10:30:22 PM8/22/14
to
Haha this was 20 years ago.
Message has been deleted

19663...@hcs-students.net

unread,
Jul 4, 2016, 10:12:02 PM7/4/16
to
On Tuesday, August 24, 1993 at 8:19:01 AM UTC-5, an...@anon.penet.fi wrote:
> [Please don't flame me for posting anonymously. One of the women
> I am interested in - a potential girlfriend, I hope - follows the
> net, and for reasons which will become apparent I don't want to
> scare her off.]
>
> I have two cats - Sootikin (Sooti for short) a 2-year old female, and Choad.
> Choad (stupid name) is a neutered tom who was dumped on me by my scumbag
> ex-roomate (he had been given it by one of the *two* women he was dating
> at the time).
>
> I'm not what you would call a real studly type guy (although I
> have a lot of women friends), so when I date it's really important
> to me. Anyway, Sooti goes into heat something fierce (sometimes
> it seems like it's two weeks on, two weeks off). I had a date a
> while back, when she was really bad. Yowling, and presenting all
> the time - not the most auspicious setting for a date. While
> dinner was cooking, I tried to stimulate her vagina with a Q-tip because
> I had heard that one can induce ovulation that way. My date
> came into the bathroom while I was doing this, and needless to
> say I don't think she bought my explanation. The date was a very
> icy experience after that.
>
> Choad's problem is that he has really stinky shits (paint peelers).
> During my most recent date - I don't know if this was a
> jealousy thing - he shit in bathtub. I live in a loft, and the
> bathroom is open for ventilation, so in a few seconds we were
> gasping for air. Another date ruined, I'm getting desperate.
>
> What should I do. I love my cats, so I don't want to get rid of
> them, but I can't go on like this any more. It's my love life,
> or them. Please help!!!
>
> Moby (not my real name ;-) Sooti & Choad
>
> -------------------------------------------------------------------------
> To find out more about the anon service, send mail to he...@anon.penet.fi.
> Due to the double-blind, any mail replies to this message will be anonymized,
> and an anonymous id will be allocated automatically. You have been warned.
> Please report any problems, inappropriate use etc. to ad...@anon.penet.fi.

deez nutz

--
This is a student email account managed by Hoover City Schools. All
contents of this email are governed by the Acceptable Use Agreement of
Hoover City Schools.

Peter Lemken

unread,
Jul 17, 2016, 6:30:37 PM7/17/16
to
19663...@hcs-students.net wrote:

>> I have two cats - Sootikin (Sooti for short) a 2-year old female, and Choad.
>> Choad (stupid name) is a neutered tom who was dumped on me by my scumbag
>> ex-roomate (he had been given it by one of the *two* women he was dating
>> at the time).

I have two cats, Sootikin and Choad and Adam is a close friend.

What is it that you fuckwit want to tell us?



Peter Lemken
+43-1

--
Nature abhors crude hacks.

oceanac...@gmail.com

unread,
Sep 7, 2016, 6:31:16 AM9/7/16
to
On Wednesday, August 25, 1993 at 3:15:31 AM UTC+1, Steve Howie wrote:
> Mike Weber (do...@cleveland.Freenet.Edu) wrote:
>
> : In a previous article, an...@anon.penet.fi () says:
> : >I have two cats - Sootikin (Sooti for short) a 2-year old female, and Choad.
> : >Choad (stupid name) is a neutered tom who was dumped on me by my scumbag
> : >ex-roomate (he had been given it by one of the *two* women he was dating
> : >at the time).
> : >
>
> Why the fuck do people give cats really trendy names like Sootikin? My
> cats name is Hamish .. nice Scottish name. I knew someone who called his
> cat Fred. Must be fargin yuppies who probably call their children
> Ashley, or Brett, or Troy or Chad, or Jason, Mellissa or even *gag* Biff
>
> Fuckwits :)
>
> Scotty
>
> --
> =========================================================================
> Steve Howie | email: sho...@uoguelph.ca
> Computing and Comm. Services | Fax: (519) 763-6143
> University of Guelph | Phone: (519) 824-4120 x2556
> Guelph, Ontario CANADA N1G 2W1 |
>
> If its not Scottish it's C-r-r-raaaaaaaaaapppp!!



Wow, you all are really dumb arguing about cats. You say to one another you don't have lives but here you are ranting like little babies about cat names. Seriously, get a fucking life. Lol, what the fuck is a fuckwit? Learn grammar, kid. No one gives a damn about your fucking cats. Shove them up your ass for all I care. Oh, so now you're saying if anything is not Scottish it is crap? Wow. But I do know something which is crap, as a matter of fact, is this whole fucking argument. If you don't know how to spell properly or compose a proper sentence then don't send anything at all. Just, fuck off with your cat names, stevey darling. You won't get anywhere spitting out useless insults from your disgusting mouths.

Yours sincerely,

Someone who actually has a brain.


























Aho.

Bill Palmer

unread,
Sep 7, 2016, 8:21:28 AM9/7/16
to
On Wed, 7 Sep 2016 03:31:14 -0700 (PDT) oceanac...@gmail.com wrote in
Message id: <deab9330-49fe-4a71...@googlegroups.com>:

>On Wednesday, August 25, 1993 at 3:15:31 AM UTC+1, Steve Howie wrote:

[nothing worth repeating]

Another Google Monkey responding to an ancient post - that makes you the
fuckwit. 1993! That could be a new record.

Bea Foroni

unread,
Sep 8, 2016, 12:14:48 AM9/8/16
to
On Wednesday, September 7, 2016 at 5:21:28 AM UTC-7, Bill Palmer wrote:

>
> Another Google Monkey responding to an ancient post - that makes you the
> fuckwit. 1993! That could be a new record.

Why do people do that? Respond to posts years old?

Jeßus

unread,
Sep 8, 2016, 4:44:42 PM9/8/16
to
On Wed, 7 Sep 2016 03:31:14 -0700 (PDT), oceanac...@gmail.com
wrote:

>On Wednesday, August 25, 1993 at 3:15:31 AM UTC+1, Steve Howie wrote:
>> Mike Weber (do...@cleveland.Freenet.Edu) wrote:
>>
>> : In a previous article, an...@anon.penet.fi () says:
>> : >I have two cats - Sootikin (Sooti for short) a 2-year old female, and Choad.
>> : >Choad (stupid name) is a neutered tom who was dumped on me by my scumbag
>> : >ex-roomate (he had been given it by one of the *two* women he was dating
>> : >at the time).
>> : >
>>
>> Why the fuck do people give cats really trendy names like Sootikin? My
>> cats name is Hamish .. nice Scottish name. I knew someone who called his
>> cat Fred. Must be fargin yuppies who probably call their children
>> Ashley, or Brett, or Troy or Chad, or Jason, Mellissa or even *gag* Biff
>>
>
>Wow, you all are really dumb arguing about cats. You say to one another you don't have lives but here you are ranting like little babies about cat names. Seriously, get a fucking life. Lol, what the fuck is a fuckwit?

If you have to ask...
And it's a common term, you fuckwit.

> Learn grammar, kid.

Look who's talking.

>No one gives a damn about your fucking cats. Shove them up your ass for all I care. Oh, so now you're saying if anything is not Scottish it is crap? Wow. But I do know something which is crap, as a matter of fact, is this whole fucking argument. If you don't know how to spell properly or compose a proper sentence then don't send anything at all. Just, fuck off with your cat names, stevey darling. You won't get anywhere spitting out useless insults from your disgusting mouths.
>
>Yours sincerely,
>
>Someone who actually has a brain.

LOL. Yeah. 'Someone with a brain' who uses google groups... your post
looks like it was composed by a monogloid on acid.

Jeßus

unread,
Sep 8, 2016, 4:46:45 PM9/8/16
to
On Wed, 07 Sep 2016 08:21:29 -0400, Bill Palmer <Bi...@none.not>
wrote:
I've seen replies to 1991 posts somewhere recently.

Welcome to the Snake Pit

unread,
Sep 12, 2016, 12:42:53 AM9/12/16
to
On Tuesday, August 24, 1993 at 7:19:01 AM UTC-6, an...@anon.penet.fi wrote:
> [Please don't flame me for posting anonymously. One of the women
> I am interested in - a potential girlfriend, I hope - follows the
> net, and for reasons which will become apparent I don't want to
> scare her off.]

I can't wait. Tell me. Tell me now. Oh, you want to blow chunks through the space of her fingers and create an unparalleled collage?

oceanac...@gmail.com

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Sep 21, 2016, 5:48:05 AM9/21/16
to
Hmm, sorry I couldn't just sit back and read this cringe-fest without saying anything. Is that the best response you have? If it was years old you wouldn't bother replying to me and would have forgot about this post. Is the only word you know fuck-wit? Really, that is pathetic. I find it kind of sad how you even bother replying to an argument that never existed.

oceanac...@gmail.com

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Sep 21, 2016, 6:01:24 AM9/21/16
to
....

Welcome to the Snake Pit

unread,
Sep 22, 2016, 4:03:31 AM9/22/16
to
Fuck quitters in the eye socket with a donkey dick soaked in pickle juice.
Eat whor3 disease and gonorrhea.
Wear a blood soaked coordinated rabbit.

Helen Bach

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Sep 22, 2016, 5:22:54 PM9/22/16
to
On Wed, 21 Sep 2016 02:48:03 -0700 (PDT), oceanac...@gmail.com
wrote:
You really are a clueless dumb shit. Fuck off back to Faecebook where
you belong.

Penelope Crotchsniff III

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Sep 22, 2016, 5:24:18 PM9/22/16
to
On Wed, 21 Sep 2016 03:01:13 -0700 (PDT), oceanac...@gmail.com
wrote:
Your most sensible comment yet, you dumb cunt.

Bill Palmer

unread,
Sep 23, 2016, 5:36:06 AM9/23/16
to
On Wed, 21 Sep 2016 02:48:03 -0700 (PDT) oceanac...@gmail.com wrote in
Message id: <eb730266-48b0-45e0...@googlegroups.com>:
Do you suppose that degenerative bone condition you have has started
affecting what's left of your brain? Or have you always been a
dim-witted, mouth-breathing encephalitic fucktard?

Welcome to the Snake Pit

unread,
Sep 26, 2016, 11:07:55 PM9/26/16
to
Hello, you got Cookie Puss' Number?

itch

Welcome to the Snake Pit

unread,
Oct 9, 2016, 6:53:48 AM10/9/16
to
YOU HAD TO BE THERE.
Message has been deleted

Nikolai Kingsley

unread,
Jun 6, 2017, 10:03:08 PM6/6/17
to
On 7/06/2017 10:23 AM, superbj...@gmail.com wrote:
> this place is old
>


but at least it isn't reddit or faecebook.

--
In the autumn of 1874, Alferd Packer and five companions thought they
could make it over the Rockies before the snows came. They were wrong.
In the spring, Alferd returned but the other five were never seen again.
Alferd was tried and convicted of cannibalism. At his sentencing, the
judge condemned Packer with the following immortal words: "There was
seven demmycrats in Hinsdale County and you've et five of them, God damn
you!"

fig plucker

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Jun 9, 2017, 5:29:48 PM6/9/17
to
Nikolai Kingsley <sher...@netspace.net.au> wrote:
> On 7/06/2017 10:23 AM, superbj...@gmail.com wrote:
>> this place is old
>>
>
>
> but at least it isn't reddit or faecebook.

And for that, it is even more infinitely precious. "Age and guile beat youth,
innocence and a bad haircut every time."

*raises a glass of spittoon leavings in memory of da ka-WEEN*

--
"One basic human instinct is the urge to form political tribes...
Political discourse across tribal boundaries is almost always an
antisocial act - less communication, than symbolic violence."

marvel...@gmail.com

unread,
Jul 5, 2020, 2:23:07 AM7/5/20
to
On Tuesday, August 24, 1993 at 6:19:01 AM UTC-7, an...@anon.penet.fi wrote:
> [Please don't flame me for posting anonymously. One of the women
> I am interested in - a potential girlfriend, I hope - follows the
> net, and for reasons which will become apparent I don't want to
> scare her off.]
>
> I have two cats - Sootikin (Sooti for short) a 2-year old female, and Choad.
> Choad (stupid name) is a neutered tom who was dumped on me by my scumbag
> ex-roomate (he had been given it by one of the *two* women he was dating
> at the time).
>
Yoooooo, I"m in history of ancient flame war
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