BBC broadcaster assassinated
Sharv
efficiently taken off the air on Monday.
According to the various news reports, Dando was shot once in the head at
close range, evidently with a silenced 9mm pistol. No one heard a shot,
but a witness reported seeing a "smartly-dressed" man walking briskly away
from the scene, talking on a cell phone.
In addition to doing the evening news, she was the co-host of a
program(me) called "Crimewatch UK", which sounds like a Brit version of
"America's Most Wanted" or maybe "Unsolved Mysteries". Major crimes were
re-enacted, and the public was recruited to help turn in the perps.
Speculation about a motive is currently centered around one of the many
criminals Dando's show helped lock up - violent criminals have been known
to harbor grudges in the past. The more pedestrian stalker theory has
also been floated, but it's not nearly so interesting.
Since I've never seen the show, it's hard for me to imagine. Instead, I'm
fantasizing about someone walking up to say, Oprah Winfrey, and
ventilating her skull in a quietly efficient manner. That would make my
fucking day. Oh yeah it would.
-Sharv
ObAlternatives: Laura Ingraham, Matt Drudge, Larry King, John McLaughlin,
both Sam Donaldson *and* Cokie Roberts, Rosie O'Donnell, Howie Mandel, and
Jay Leno.
--
"Twentieth Century American history is the story of bad white men,
soldiers of fortune, shakedown artists, extortionists, legbreakers. The
lowest level implementors of public policy. Men who are often toadies of
right wing regimes. Men who are racists. Men who are homophobes. These
are my guys. These are the guys that I embrace. These are the guys that I
empathise with. These are the guys that I love. "
-- James Ellroy
docfa...@fuckyou.co.uk
> Jill Dando, apparently a hugely popular BBC television personality, was
> efficiently taken off the air on Monday.
>
> According to the various news reports, Dando was shot once in the head at
> close range, evidently with a silenced 9mm pistol. No one heard a shot,
> but a witness reported seeing a "smartly-dressed" man walking briskly
> away from the scene, talking on a cell phone.
>
the U.K in broad daylight! Imagine the gall of that so-called gentleman,
walking down the street, talking on a cell phone, creating a hazard,
completely oblivious to the safety of the people around him! The nerve!
That’s the reason people get hurt, self-centered litle assholes like him.
At least he wasn’t driving at the time. Makes my blood boil.
doc
ObT: The British ban on handguns.
--
-------------------- http://NewsReader.Com/ --------------------
Usenet for the Web
Legless
Sharv <sha...@yahoo.com> wrote:
> Jill Dando, apparently a hugely popular BBC television personality, was
> efficiently taken off the air on Monday.
<SNIP>
>
> Speculation about a motive is currently centered around one of the many
> criminals Dando's show helped lock up - violent criminals have been known
> to harbor grudges in the past. The more pedestrian stalker theory has
> also been floated, but it's not nearly so interesting.
>
> Since I've never seen the show, it's hard for me to imagine. Instead, I'm
> fantasizing about someone walking up to say, Oprah Winfrey, and
> ventilating her skull in a quietly efficient manner. That would make my
> fucking day. Oh yeah it would.
Damm shame you've never seen her - she was quite cute. She also presented
holiday programs and looked great in a bikini.
A pic of her can be found at:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/uk/newsid_328000/328888.stm
Legless
-----------== Posted via Deja News, The Discussion Network ==----------
http://www.dejanews.com/ Search, Read, Discuss, or Start Your Own
t...@rak061.oulu.fi
> This is most curious. It seems so professional it's almost funny
> (to us). Silenced 9mm's? wtf?
A new weapon on this business. Classically, silenced .22 is used in hits
like this but 9mm can probably be silenced enough. (With well-silenced
.22 and subsonic ammo, hammer striking the firing pin is the loudest part.)
> We're so used to hearing about
> the IRA or whatever doing people with entire 30 round mags
> from commie assault rifles. I get the feeling that many
> 'personalities' are getting a but antsy right about now.
True artists of the profession are rare. Any asshole can go nuts and
shoot out Cafeteria, School, whatever; but professional-quality hits
like this are rare pieces of art amidst sea of half-assed violence.
> Unsolved? That's what I reckon. Mark of a true pro.
Yep. Reminds me of the ...termination of Swedish Prime Minister few years
ago, shot in front of his wife with .357 on streets of Stockholm. They
never caught the guy despite the massive manhunt and reward,
generating many new theories about who did it and why?
--
Tapio Erola t...@rieska.oulu.fi (No mail to t...@rak061.oulu.fi please)
"Being Broke is a temporary condition. Poverty is a way of life."
Sharv
: A new weapon on this business. Classically, silenced .22 is used in hits
: .22 and subsonic ammo, hammer striking the firing pin is the loudest part.)
Since we've got a reasonable number of gun-nuts^WNRA members in this
group, I've got a question that I imagine someone here can answer:
How loud exactly is a "silenced" pistol, and what does it sound like?
Movies portray silenced shots in a variety of ways, from a "snick" to a
"thwip" to a "ssssthwak" to a "schook".
So, what's it really sound like?
-Sharv
--
"It's survival of the fittest, Max, and we've got the fucking gun."
-- Marcy Dawson (Pamela Hart), "Pi"
St. K
> Damm shame you've never seen her - she was quite cute. She also presented
> holiday programs and looked great in a bikini.
>
> A pic of her can be found at:
>
> http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/uk/newsid_328000/328888.stm
My Gawd! Cute? You eel-eating Brits have been fucking your sisters so
long you've lost the concept of "cute." Young Sally Fields was cute.
Sandra Bullock is cute. That hag Dando looks like Lady Die's uglier
older sister. Anybody know where I can find nekkid pics of her with a
bag over her head? Aw, don't bother--"looks great in a bikini" probably
just means "has flesh" in Brit wanker lingo. Jeezus, my local cable
access channel has better looking snatch.
NurzRachet
> Jill Dando, apparently a hugely popular BBC television personality, was
> efficiently taken off the air on Monday.
<real life TV snipped>
> I'm fantasizing about someone walking up to say, Oprah Winfrey, and
> ventilating her skull in a quietly efficient manner. That would make my
> fucking day. Oh yeah it would.
Oh, Sharvey, honey, the thought of never again having to see or hear
that pompous, flabby-armed, emotional, yappy woman is enough to make me
cum.
The bitch broadcasts her holier-than-thou bullshit about her lifelong
battle with oppression, racism, abuse, the usual female bullshit, and
best of all, her problems with her weight, which she now has "beat" --
with the help of her PERSONAL trainer, PERSONAL chef, and PERSONAL
forehead-enhanced boyfriend Dudman. And while she blabs on and on,
becoming emotional and teary-eyed at some of her pathetic guests, the
babes in the audience and at home sit there yelling, "You go, girl,"
while never giving it a second thought that their own miserable
existence will never come close in comparison.
I am occasionally forced (by way of working with LaToiletta and the Soul
Sisters of the Holy Barbeque Rib) to watch Winfrey. I recall a
particular show where she "invited" the viewing audience into her
zillion dollar abode, in which her personal chef was busy preparing
healthy treats for her. Within a few minutes, one of her neighbors
(enter: token white woman) stopped by to chat. I guess when you're
filthy rich your social life takes precedence over everything else.
Whenever I voice my opinion concerning the black wonder, LaToiletta
bitches at me and reminds me about Winfrey's generosity to employees and
charities. When I then remind her about the huge tax deductions she's
taking because of those contributions and former employees of hers who
have voiced dissention in the press, LaToiletta turns that enormous
black snout up at me, waves me off with those 3" nails pressed into the
end of kielbasa-looking fingers, and walks away, hips swaying like the
ruffles on Carmen Miranda's bongo outfit.
ObFlab: Winfrey obviously needs those batwing arms of hers taken care
of. The procedure is called a brachioplasty, and involves cutting away
the excess skin and flab which has been created by her up and down
weight and predisposition to flabby skin. I saw her waving her arm
while motioning to something on her show, and I thought for sure the
hanging skin would slap the shit out of her guest.
Nurzy
star of her own t.v. show...
"Shut The Fuck Up and Get On With Your Life"
Tony Lai
the IRA or whatever doing people with entire 30 round mags
from commie assault rifles. I get the feeling that many
'personalities' are getting a but antsy right about now.
Unsolved? That's what I reckon. Mark of a true pro. What's
the going rate to get someone of that stature off'ed? hmmm...
T.
Luke Medcalf
Sharv wrote:
>
(SNIP)
> Since we've got a reasonable number of gun-nuts^WNRA members in this
> group, I've got a question that I imagine someone here can answer:
>
> How loud exactly is a "silenced" pistol, and what does it sound like?
>
> Movies portray silenced shots in a variety of ways, from a "snick" to a
> "thwip" to a "ssssthwak" to a "schook".
>
> So, what's it really sound like?
>
> -Sharv
(SNIP)
Well, after one evening with an MP5SD5, I'd say it's a nice
"THWIP-THWIP-THWIP"... but then, I was using full-velocity ammo. they
didn't have any subsonic to play with there.
The suppressed .22 was VERY quiet. even with full velocity ammo.
(BTW, They like to call them "Suppressors" not "Silencers")
Luke Medcalf
lmed...@home.com
Jonathan Blaque
> Legless wrote
(re: the dead limey reporter chick)
>> ...shame you've never seen her -- she was quite cute.... http://
>> news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/uk/newsid_328000/328888.stm
> My Gawd! Cute? You eel-eating Brits have been fucking your
> sisters so long you've lost the concept of "cute." ... (snip)
Oh, I dunno. I've fucked a *lot* worse...
... sorta goes without sayin', I guess.
Cheers!
Vomit(II)
Nigh Expectations
"A true lover of women loves 'em all. Even the really ugly ones."
-- My Dad
ObTrendy: One high school student was dead and another un-
dergoing surgery after a shooting at a rural Canadian school.
Cops took one as-yet unIDed Hero into custody after the fun,
which broke out around lunchtime at W.R. Myers High School
in Taber, a sleepy farming community of 7,200 people located
roughly 100 miles southeast of Calgary.
Witnesses said the school of about 400 students was ringed in
crime-scene tape and surrounded by emergency vehicles. No
one was allowed in or out of the building.
Matt Anderson, a grade 10 student at the school, said the two
students who were shot were in grade 11 and the boy in custody
was a grade 9 student who was receiving home schooling after
dropping out.
Parker, Stuart Gordon
just wondering...
robf...@my-dejanews.com
NurzRachet <The...@ix.netcom.com> wrote:
>
> Nurzy
> star of her own t.v. show...
> "Shut The Fuck Up and Get On With Your Life"
Hell, I'd watch it. Maybe it could be followed by my own tech support show,
too raw for ZDTV:
"Are You Too Stupid To Breathe Or What?"
Lorri
Well? Are you?
Tony Lai
(suppressors are legal there?)
You guys should get the game 'rainbow6' (www.rainbow6.com)
or more correctly 'Tom Clancy's Rainbow 6'
It's a very accurate anti-terrorist first person shooter.
They consulted with Heckler and Koch USA (now a Kraut
company owned by *British Aerospace* of all the ironies)
H&K make the finest (and possibly most expensive)
firearms in the world. Truly the Mercedes/BMW of
the bang-bang world. They recorded real suppressed
firearms in this game. The legendary MP5SD5 is
there (and it does THWIP-THWIP-THWIP!).
The anal retentives who work at H&K and
Redstorm (who write r6) make sure that
the weapons are accurately portrayed.
You guys would probably like the suppressed
Beretta M92 or the H&K Mk23 .45? That's
about as close to real suppressed weapons
as I'm gonna get in pinko, small 'l' liberal
suppressed (heh!) Australia.
For professional assassinations you cannot
go past classic Italy. Alberto Moro? some
dago PM, whacked up bad with a burst from
a Czech VZ51 Skorpion pocket SMG. Hitman was
on a motorbike as well. Never solved. That's
impressive since Italy has some fucking good
special forces SWAT. Actually the Krauts and Frogs
both have some real impressive anti-terrorist units.
T.
obt: we're trying to age censor the internet
like movies over here. PG13/NC17 etc. Obviously
the CDA means nothing in this little backwater.
edg...@my-dejanews.com
> Sharv wrote:
> (SNIP)
> Well, after one evening with an MP5SD5, I'd say it's a nice
> "THWIP-THWIP-THWIP"... but then, I was using full-velocity ammo. they
> didn't have any subsonic to play with there.
> The suppressed .22 was VERY quiet. even with full velocity ammo.
> (BTW, They like to call them "Suppressors" not "Silencers")
The question of noise level is three-fold. The expansion of the gasses
propelling the bullet slapping against the still air as the bullet
leaves the muzzle is the first loud sound we here as a round is dis-
charged. It can be muffled, the same way the explosions from your ve-
hicles engine are muffled. Baffles break up the sound waves, effectively
silencing the intense concussion. Ever heard a car running hard with no
exhaust system, or just headers? LOUD !
The second sound warranting mention is the super-sonic velocities that
common munitions achieve in most weapons. Anything above about 900 fps
(feet per second)is gonna *crack*. A sonic boom from the sound wave
compression before the projectile. Not a thing we can do about that
noise. Sub-sonic... or the damn thing will make that sonic boom.
The speed of sound varies with atmospheric pressure, also with altitude
above sea level. So... what works in Denver, may not in Atlantic City.
Third sound is the impact of the projectile upon flesh. Nothing stopping
that noise. It is noticable, like a sharp slap on the thigh. A rifleman
can ascertain a hit by the sound carried back after his shot at distances
of up to 250 yards. Reliably.
Most of the designs for silencing handguns have included som form of
'wipers'. As the bullet passes through the baffled chambers, each is
sealed with a rubber or leather 'wiper', as the name implies, these
wipers actually touch the projectile. Sealing each chamber and effec-
tively slowing the pace of the passing bullet. Thusly, the muffler
effect is taken care of as well as slowing the bullet to sub-sonic
velocities.
Sounds I have heard from silenced weapons varied from near silence
to a *zipp* sound. Some have sort of 'coughed'. I have seen a few
'store-bought' kits in use, also a couple manufactured in machine
shops for personal use by tool-makers. Even a simple, home made
shusher made out of polyester fibers loosely stuffed inside a liter
soda bottle. None of the silencers I have seen are effective for more
than a few rounds. Wipers wear, the rate of suppression is gradually
diminshed. Still, much quieter than without.
--
Randall G. Prince
Ex-NRA (pre-insanity era)
obT:
Started re-habbing a house today. Last tenants left it filled with
personal items. Waist deep throughout the house... strange combin-
ation of things. Stuffed animals, hundreds of them. All new and the
price tags in place. Barbie dolls. Hundreds. New, in the original
cartons, never opened. Clothing, same condition. Then, the top floor
bedroom... knee deep in pornography. Collections of Penthouse, Playboy,
Hustler, Swedish Erotica, etc. Video cassettes of porn, professional and
amateur alike. Very unusual. Hard to explain the thinking of a human
that has wasted all that money on stuffed doggies and clothes never used.
Yet, evicted for not paying the rent. Wise. The kitchen cabinets held
the clue explaining it. Hundreds of little plastic bottles filled
partially with liquids of varying color. Pinks and blues mostly,
some clear. Alongside is the remnants of a crack pipe. Coke test kits,
official looking. Government issue, was my sense of what remained of the
labeling.
And ammunition. Everywhere. From .22 cal. to .308 Winchester along
with every style of twelve gauge shell imaginable.
Crack pipes and weaponry. Wonderful. Had children too.
Mayhem forecasters, cast your gaze upon Northwest Indiana, redneck
capital of the mid-west. Yee-ha.
"Being asked to leave the monastary due to a masturbation
compulsion is *not* a comfirmation of tastelessness, it only
proves you're a jerk-off."
E-mail: Ran...@thedge.mung.com
edg...@my-dejanews.com
> Legless wrote:
>
> > Damm shame you've never seen her - she was quite cute.
> My Gawd! Cute? You eel-eating Brits have been fucking your sisters so
> long you've lost the concept of "cute."
I liked the eulogoy-like text on the site, and this little snippet
from the page mentioned...
"Despite her star status, friends and colleagues, shocked
by her death, sought to convey her homely, humble nature."
I dunno. Here, 'homely' means rough and haggard, ugly... not
a word used to describe a 'cute' woman. And yet I am reminded
that beauty lies in the eye of the beholder. Any society
that boils most of its food and drinks warm, bitter beer must
have other idiotic taste preferences.
--
Legless
edg...@my-dejanews.com wrote:
<Snip>
> > My Gawd! Cute? You eel-eating Brits have been fucking your sisters so
> > long you've lost the concept of "cute."
>
> I liked the eulogoy-like text on the site, and this little snippet
> from the page mentioned...
>
> "Despite her star status, friends and colleagues, shocked
> by her death, sought to convey her homely, humble nature."
>
> I dunno. Here, 'homely' means rough and haggard, ugly... not
> a word used to describe a 'cute' woman. And yet I am reminded
> that beauty lies in the eye of the beholder. Any society
> that boils most of its food and drinks warm, bitter beer must
> have other idiotic taste preferences.
This is alt.tasteless isn't it? And as a Brit, getting lectured by septics on
good food seems a wee bit strange. Let's see what culinary delights the Yanks
have brought to the world.
Chow Mein - Dog vomit, scraped from the pavement, reheated and served.
Hotdogs. - What the fuck is in those bloody things? Powdered afterbirth?
McDonalds, Burger King et al. Truly tasteless food in all senses of the word.
( ObAside. - Anyone ever thought of asking Mcdonalds to sponsor this group? )
And as for beer. In my travels around the world, I've never come across a
more piss-poor excuse for a brew as the foul, bland, weak, tasteless
virgins-water you call beer. It's almost impossible to get drunk on the gassy
stuff as it has the alcohol content of Nuns piss. Why can't you stick to the
stuff you're good at like Jim Beam, Jack Daniels, Wild Turkey and the like.
Or that firewater some guy in Florida gave me once. Don't know what it was (
no lable on the bottle ) but I swear that it almost made me blind. Lovely
stuff.
Legless
Chasey
>> A. Danny Baker survived the doorstep challenge.
>>
>> Q. Why is Crimewatch UK not being scrapped?
>> A. Because Nick Ross is terrified of getting the bullet.
>>
>> - Jill Dando had a new antique show for the BBC - the shooting started
>> this week.
>>
>> Q. What goes in and out when the doorbell rings?
>> A. Nick Ross's asshole.
>>
>> Q. Why are Vic Reeves and Bob Mortimer upset?
>> A. Because they heard that Jill Dando had been selected for Shooting
>> Stars.
>>
>> Q. Why did Nick Ross resign from BBC Crimewatch UK ?
>> A. Because he needs the job like he needs a hole in the head.
************************
"If enough lager you do supp,
rest assured, you will throw up" (Vyv, Young Ones)
**********************************
Io
---< Referring to crap Brit food >---
> This is alt.tasteless isn't it? And as a Brit, getting lectured by septics on
> good food seems a wee bit strange. Let's see what culinary delights the Yanks
> have brought to the world.
Spend a week in 'Nawlins (New Orleans), eat, and post your retraction.
>
> Chow Mein - Dog vomit, scraped from the pavement, reheated and served.
> Hotdogs. - What the fuck is in those bloody things? Powdered afterbirth?
> McDonalds, Burger King et al. Truly tasteless food in all senses of the word.
Lets just say that what ever is left over from the rendering is fair
game for hotdogs.
>
> ( ObAside. - Anyone ever thought of asking Mcdonalds to sponsor this group? )
Miller and Daniels have already trolled the Mc D's newsgroups eons ago.
> And as for beer. In my travels around the world, I've never come across a
> more piss-poor excuse for a brew as the foul, bland, weak, tasteless
> virgins-water you call beer. It's almost impossible to get drunk on the gassy
> stuff as it has the alcohol content of Nuns piss. Why can't you stick to the
> stuff you're good at like Jim Beam, Jack Daniels, Wild Turkey and the like.
> Or that firewater some guy in Florida gave me once.
Indeed. And Maker's Mark, Booker Noe, and...
Louise R. Howard
Strayhorn <k...@duke.edu> wrote:
>In article <3727b...@news.ign.com.au>, tlai@ (Tony Lai) wrote:
>> Course Convener - Strayhorn? some dude from *.fi
>> (suppressors are legal there?)
>you can have whatever you want, but you have to prove
>you know how to use it. Last I heard, you had to pass
>a proficiency test (10 shots into a 12" circle at 100
>yards for a rifle, f'example) to get a license but once
>you had the papers, you could buy a tank for all they
>cared.
This is so sane it is scarey.
And Finland is not known for its violent gun-related death, is it?
> Suppressors were popular for shooting game
>without annoying the neighbors, according to the fellow
>who sent me email from Finland. He used one to hunt
>beaver (the animals, you dolts) in surburban areas.
Makes sense again. I live in Virginia and sometimes get
to hear the sound of gunfire from those huntin' rednecks.
Silencers would defininely cut down on the noise pollution
although they probably wouldn't do much for not scaring the game.
>Suppressors are legal here, but are treated in a
>similar manner as machine guns: registered and
>taxed, and you have to have the permission of the
>Chief Law Enforcement Officer of your area in some
>instances.
Have I mentioned how sane this sounds?
Why can't we in the YooEss be so reasonable?
> For the straight dope, just check the
>website for F.J. Vollmer's, the biggest dealer
>of legal machine guns and other toys. They have
>a page devoted to current laws:
>http://www.fjvollmer.com/
I could not find a link from the main page to
the "current laws" page. Could you tell me
where find this specific information?
Keep the Faith,
Louise
Peter Smith
Sharv <sha...@yahoo.com> wrote:
> t...@rak061.oulu.fi wrote:
> > A new weapon on this business. Classically, silenced .22 is used in hits
> > like this but 9mm can probably be silenced enough. (With well-silenced
> > .22 and subsonic ammo, hammer striking the firing pin is the loudest
> > part.)
>
> Since we've got a reasonable number of gun-nuts^WNRA members in this
> group, I've got a question that I imagine someone here can answer:
>
> How loud exactly is a "silenced" pistol, and what does it sound like?
I can't help on the pistol front, but I've owned a few air rifles in the
past, and my current one is silenced.
Normally with an air rifle, you get the "boing" sound of the spring, followed
by the bang of the air coming from the barrel (this is why air rifles are
such a bastard to aim properly, because you get recoil _before_ the pellet is
fired).
My latest, a Weirauch HW97K has an integral silencer, about an 1.5 inches
diameter, and 5 inches long.
With this you get virtually _no_ bang. With the rifle being better quality
than my last ones, the spring sound is much quieter. The pellet itself makes
a whistling sound (similar to the Razorjack in Unreal, when it passes you).
Peter
ObT:Firearms laws in the UK.
--
To reply by mail, change .com to .co in my email address
54 things to do in a lift....
1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
Peter Smith
Legless <croft...@hotmail.com> wrote:
> In article <7g8nt9$j45$1...@nnrp1.dejanews.com>,
> edg...@my-dejanews.com wrote:
>
>
> <Snip>
>
> > > My Gawd! Cute? You eel-eating Brits have been fucking your sisters so
> > > long you've lost the concept of "cute."
> >
> > I liked the eulogoy-like text on the site, and this little snippet
> > from the page mentioned...
> >
> > "Despite her star status, friends and colleagues, shocked
> > by her death, sought to convey her homely, humble nature."
> >
> > I dunno. Here, 'homely' means rough and haggard, ugly... not
> > a word used to describe a 'cute' woman. And yet I am reminded
> > that beauty lies in the eye of the beholder. Any society that boils most
> > of its food and drinks warm, bitter beer must have other idiotic taste
> > preferences.
[ snip ]
>
> And as for beer. In my travels around the world, I've never come across a
> more piss-poor excuse for a brew as the foul, bland, weak, tasteless
> virgins-water you call beer. It's almost impossible to get drunk on the
> gassy stuff as it has the alcohol content of Nuns piss.
To quote Month Python at the Hollywood Bowl.....
Why is American beer like making love in a canoe?
Because it's fucking close to water.
Peter
ObT:Going from one end of the scale to the other. Guinness. 'Nuff said.
--
To reply by mail, change .com to .co in my email address
54 things to do in a lift....
4. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
Bill
> The question of noise level is three-fold. The expansion of the gasses
> propelling the bullet slapping against the still air as the bullet
> leaves the muzzle is the first loud sound we here as a round is dis-
> charged. It can be muffled, the same way the explosions from your ve-
> hicles engine are muffled. Baffles break up the sound waves, effectively
> silencing the intense concussion. Ever heard a car running hard with no
> exhaust system, or just headers? LOUD !
Well they have developed electronic mufflers for cars that eliminate all
the sound by using noise cancellation technology so why not build an
electronic silencer for a gun using the same technology. The ear phones
that mechanics wear on the flight line use this technology to cancel out
the jet noise so it can be made small.
rasp
Peter Smith wrote:
>
>
>
> Peter
>
> ObT:Going from one end of the scale to the other. Guinness. 'Nuff said.
>
...There's an Imperial Stout made in California called 'Old
Rasputin'. I can't remember the name of the brewery, maybe Bobbi
or another NoCal resident knows. That stuff makes Guinness taste
like water. Three pints of that shit makes me as giddy as a
schoolgirl.
ObT: Cracking and eating pistacios mindlessly while reading AT,
then getting a couple of rotten ones in a row. Becchhh! Try
getting *that* taste out of your mouth.
Rasp
Parker, Stuart Gordon
just wondering - perhaps the corpse was planning a foray into the dutch art
world?
Dave Garrett
zar...@mindspring.com says...
> Once in awhile my brother or I would get a six of EKU 28, a syrupy
> Czech beer with a very high alcohol content. It was fairly pricy,
> around $15 iirc, and tasted awful, with with a ripe tang reminicent of
> a rotten apple. Anyone else ever seen/had it?
Yeah, I've drank my share of it in the dim and distant past.
You're right, it is fucking awful, and my experience was that
most people that order it only do so because of its notoriety as
"the world's strongest beer". It's not Czech, though, it's
German. EKU, as I recall, stands for "Echt Kulmbacher
<something>". The brewery that makes it actually does make some
other beers that are quite good; I seem to recall my local
watering hole of yore got several kegs of a great Maibock from
them one year.
Dave
Lots42
>Let's see what culinary delights the Yanks
>have brought to the world.
>Chow Mein - Dog vomit, scraped from the pavement, reheated and served.
No way! I mean, how do you get the dog from not snarfing up his vomit a
millisecond after he horks it out?
>Hotdogs. - What the fuck is in those bloody things? Powdered afterbirth?
Powdered cow afterbirth, maybe. What *is* done with the cow-placenta?
>McDonalds, Burger King et al. Truly tasteless food in all senses of the word.
>
>
I was about to protests when I figured, hey.
You could be right. I've been clogged up in the nose for years now (damn nose
medicines don't do shit) so maybe the Burger King ('Booger Fling') shit I've
been living on really does taste like powdered afterbirth.
>( ObAside. - Anyone ever thought of asking Mcdonalds to sponsor this group? )
>
>
Not after what I've done to alt.mcdonalds.crew.
ObT: alt.mcdonalds.crew as about six months ago. Horror stories of Ronald
McDonald and gang murdering, fucking and molesting their way across our great
country.
ObT2: I'll be a fair amount of money one specific cow-orker (Acne-Face) knows
absolutely nothing about Kosovo OR Littleton.
--
Remove 1 aol.com to reply
My other car is a Stealth bomber - "Pull my finger." - Superman
"When life gives you a lemon, pull out a gun and start shooting."
Shoeshine Boy
>>From: Legless <croft...@hotmail.com>
<...>
>>Hotdogs. - What the fuck is in those bloody things? Powdered afterbirth?
>
>Powdered cow afterbirth, maybe. What *is* done with the cow-placenta?
Oil of Olay, from what I'm told.
--
Shoeshine Boy
Humble and Loveable
--
Joel Murray
wrote:
>Once in awhile my brother or I would get a six of EKU 28, a syrupy
>Czech beer with a very high alcohol content. It was fairly pricy,
>around $15 iirc, and tasted awful, with with a ripe tang reminicent of
>a rotten apple. Anyone else ever seen/had it?
Yep. I'm an ESL instructor who teaches adult foreign students, and I had a
former student return from Germany with a half-dozen of 'em. This student
used to joke that that Canadian beer was like piss and that I had never had
a "real" beer.
Anyway, I had the beer sitting in the fridge, and one day, after playing
ice hockey in the afternoon (I'm a Canadian, eh?), I returned home knowing
that the beer awaited me. I had been told that it was strong, but I didn't
think much of the warning. I got home, opened the bottle, and guzzled
about half of it before I spewed it all over my kitchen.
Great beer. Very, very, very strong.
ObT: The hangnail on my left baby finger. The tip of the finger is now
swollen (like in the cartoons when someone hits his thumb with a hammer)
and an angry red, especially after my awkward attempt at home surgery.
I've got to get a finer knife--make that, exacto blade. Anyway, no pus
yet....
--
____________________________________________________________________
Ligneous and petrous projectiles can potentially fracture my osseous
structure, but pejorative appellations will forever remain innocuous.
Shoeshine Boy
wrote:
>In article <37290865...@news.mindspring.com>,
>zar...@mindspring.com says...
>
>> Once in awhile my brother or I would get a six of EKU 28, a syrupy
>> Czech beer with a very high alcohol content. It was fairly pricy,
>> around $15 iirc, and tasted awful, with with a ripe tang reminicent of
>> a rotten apple. Anyone else ever seen/had it?
>
>Yeah, I've drank my share of it in the dim and distant past.
>You're right, it is fucking awful, and my experience was that
>most people that order it only do so because of its notoriety as
>"the world's strongest beer".
I had something at the Hungry I in Salt Lake City (Greek food --
*most* highly recommended) that was billed as the world's strongest --
it was called SamiSchlauss (sp?) and had a drawing of a red-nosed
Santa (!) on the label. Out-fucking-standing beer, pricey as well,
and two of 'em had me & my buddy annoying every other patron in the
place.
ObSheesh: SLC Mormons are just *too* fucking easy to annoy. Just ask
for a second beer. Or coffee, for chrissakes.
aemilia
wrote:
><edg...@my-dejanews.com> wrote:
>
>> I dunno. Here, 'homely' means rough and haggard, ugly... not
>> a word used to describe a 'cute' woman.
>
>UK 'homely' = US 'homey'
>It really is a compliment there, meaning warm and friendly.
>
>> Any society that boils most of its food and drinks warm, > bitter beer
>
>Proof, aemilia, that this lad is an ass, if he doesn't know real beer
>when he meets it. Stick to Thai chicks.
Um...how did I get involved in this? I have never really talked to, or
of, Randall G Prince.
and yes, Brit food and Brit beer is some of the finest in the world. I
miss living in London more and more each passing day. I want to go
back there and live, but the murder rate isn't high enough.
aemilia
"In their jars the snail-nosed babies moon and glow.
He hands her the cut-out heart like a cracked heirloom."
-Sylvia Plath
Citizen Ted
>Course Convener - Strayhorn? some dude from *.fi
> (suppressors are legal there?)
>
>You guys should get the game 'rainbow6' (www.rainbow6.com)
>or more correctly 'Tom Clancy's Rainbow 6'
>
>It's a very accurate anti-terrorist first person shooter.
>They consulted with Heckler and Koch USA (now a Kraut
>company owned by *British Aerospace* of all the ironies)
Right you are!
That wonderful game has become my focus over the past few
weeks. It combines cold-blooded strategy with heart-pumping action.
The player picks an assault team, outfits them with a wonderful
selection of weaponry, designs a plan of attack, then goes in for the
kill.
The weaponry and gameplay are realistic: no leaping from 4
stories and surviving; no filling the scene with exploding rocket
grenades, killing everything in sight. You are human, and must take
out humans, using real-world weapons and human tactics. It's kinda
like Action Quake with great graphics and huge tweakability. .
I particularly like the realism of the bad guys taking live
rounds. Their jaws fly back as you drill a round from a sniper rifle
into their faces. Their bodies blow backward when you give them
what-for from a riot shotgun. Lovely!
Perhaps the most dramatic sequences are those wherein you
screw up the assault and watch helplessly as the bad guys coldly
execute the hostages.
In one scenario, my team was sent to a theme park in Spain to
kill some commies and rescue the child-run. I took out most of the
Marxist scum, then moved in to rescue the kiddies. Mind you, this was
last Tuesday - the very day of the Littleton massacree.
Well, I took out a half-dozen Marxist scum with my lead man,
using the venerated CAR-15 assault rifle. I located the kiddies,
picked off the guys keeping them at bay, and led the kids thru the
water-ride area to freedom. No sooner did I near the end of my journey
when I was sandbagged by a sniper.
One little pop and I was a dead man. As my character hit the
deck, got horizontal and slowly dimmed out into the Great Void, I
could see, in my final moment, the sniper descending upon the children
and executing them one-by-one.
PAP! PAP! PAP! PAP!
I must say, it was quite endearing. Particularly due to the
recent accusations that computer games incite gun violence.
Geez....what a load of bull, huh?
- TR
- selecting the M60 for my next go-round. If you can't beat
'em, cut them in half with a wall of supersonic metal, I always
say....
ObFun: realizing you took a beating during an assault, giving
up hope, and coldly executing the hostages yourself. Fuck it.
ObResponse to Thread: Oh, yes. The game gives you a wide
selection of weapons to choose from, including silenced rifles and
pistols. The "muffability" varies from weapon to weapon. One rifle in
particular, the Heckler & Koch MP5SD5 9mm assault rifle, boasts a
silencer so effective that the sound of the gas-operated bolt action
is louder than the noise of the exploding cartridge.
One of my faves is the TCI sniper rifle. Quiet and deadly. If
I ever win the lottery, I'll certainly put one over the mantle...
Legless
> ><edg...@my-dejanews.com> wrote:
> >
> >> I dunno. Here, 'homely' means rough and haggard, ugly... not
> >> a word used to describe a 'cute' woman.
> >
> >UK 'homely' = US 'homey'
> >It really is a compliment there, meaning warm and friendly.
> >
> >> Any society that boils most of its food and drinks warm, > bitter beer
> >
> >Proof, aemilia, that this lad is an ass, if he doesn't know real beer
> >when he meets it. Stick to Thai chicks.
Now Edge, I assume that you're talking about me as I was the guy who referred
to Dando as cute.( And she is. The photos of her on the beeb website don't do
her justice. If you could have seen her in the Holiday programmes she
presented, walking along a beach in her bikini, I'm sure you'd change your
mind. )
Right. Lets get back to the rest of your drivel.
Real beer. The beverage referred to as beer in Britain is actually ale and
the slop you septics drink is called,in Britain, lager. Now there's nothing
wrong with decent lager ( try virtually any German, Dutch or Danish brew to
see what I mean ), but it's not beer. Beer is best served at around room
temprature and is, compared to lager, flat. But once you get used to it, it's
nectar. The varieties avaiable are astounding, all with their own unique
taste and texture. Much better than the bland, mass-produced, insipid,
tasteless crud called lager. Lager drinkers are the type of people who when
abroad stay in Holiday Inns and Hiltons. They eat the same food they do when
they're at home. They're unadventurous and boring. They might as well stay at
home.
> and yes, Brit food and Brit beer is some of the finest in the world. I
> miss living in London more and more each passing day. I want to go
> back there and live, but the murder rate isn't high enough.
>
> aemilia
Oh I don't know. We're doing quite well for bombings at the moment. We've a
bunch of neo-nazis planting nail-bombs in London at the moment. Not a decent
death count, but quite entertaing nevertheless. The last bomb in a place
called Brick Lane was a hoot. A brave ( stupid ) member of the public,
spotted the bomb and decided to take it to the police. So this Darwin-bait
actually *picked* the bomb up and was carrying to his car when it went off!
Somehow he survivied.
ObTVPresenterTastelessness: A few years ago I was at a party in Manchester
UK. At the time, I had a mate called Jonny who was dating a stunning girl who
shall remain nameless as she's now a TV presenter in the North West of
England. At one point during the party, Jonny and wench slipped upstairs to
her room for a quickie. Jonny and girl stripped off and then she allowed
Jonny to tie her up with cling film and masking tape and gag her. A bit of
mild bondage. Just a bit of fun. And then, as she writhed on the bed, Jonny
pulled his jeans on, unlocked the door and yelled to the hundred or so
revellers to come and have a gawp. The girl was truly stunning, with an hour
glass figure and a fine set of front-bumpers. She was livid but could do fuck
all about it. The next time I saw this lass was presenting a news programme a
few years later. It's kinda nice to see a celeb and to have known her when
she was young, trusting and stupid.
Legless.
MikeM
<croft...@hotmail.com> wrote:
> The beverage referred to as beer in Britain is actually ale and
>the slop you septics drink is called,in Britain, lager.. Beer is best
>served at around room temprature and is, compared to lager,
>flat. But once you get used to it, it's nectar.
We "septics" have another drink we serve our British
friends. It comes out of the fleshy tap at slightly above
room temperature (practically body temperature, really), and
like your British beer, it will be like nectar to you once
you get used to it.
MikeM
Alexander Carlton
: ...There's an Imperial Stout made in California called 'Old
: Rasputin'. I can't remember the name of the brewery, maybe Bobbi
: or another NoCal resident knows. That stuff makes Guinness taste
: like water. Three pints of that shit makes me as giddy as a
: schoolgirl.
Hmmm... that would be NorthCoast Brewery... they also make Old No. 38
Stout, which use to be one of my favorites...
Old Ras-pukin'... earned it's name after a kegger... woah!
ObTasty: Puking after a pig-roast and 1 gallon of Old-Raspukin.... you
don't know if the black chunks are burnt pig, or stout-funk.
Alex Carlton
"Told the streets were paved with gold,
Whoever paved that [itsh], got minimum wage too"
Quote courtesy of Boots, from the Coup.
Advocates International
(c)1999 All Rights Reversed.
A. Sears
>
> Real beer. The beverage referred to as beer in Britain is actually ale and
> the slop you septics drink is called,in Britain, lager.
Now I know I probably shouldn't take this bait, but I've seen what
American beers actually reach the UK in large quantities (about two or
three of them), and I can understand how you might get this impression.
If you truly believe all American beer is like Bud and Miller, however,
you'd be just as wrong as a Seppo whose only impression of Brit beer was
Watney's Red Barrel Ale.
I was in the basement of a pub in London (forget the name, sorry), being
shown the firkins, when I noticed a stray six-pack of Anchor Steam in a
corner gathering dust. I was told that although they stock it, nobody
ever orders it (prolly 'cause most of the clientele are CAMRA geeks and
wouldn't stoop to drinking beer out of a bottle in the first place but
anyway ...). If you get a chance, give it a try. There's even better
to be found here, but it's not produced in quantities large enough for
export. Sierra Nevada is one of the larger ones, but I've never seen it
abroad.
> Now there's nothing wrong with decent lager ( try
> virtually any German, Dutch or Danish brew to
> see what I mean ),
A real Bavarian Pilsner like Budvar or Urquell can be just the thing
sometimes, depending on what you're washing down with it or whether it's
a hot day. And the Dutch and Germans are perfectly capable of putting
out swill too ... witness Oranjeboom or Amstel Light.
> but it's not beer.
Horseshit. Lager and ale are both beers, as is lambic and "steam" beer
(brewed at ale temperatures with lager yeast).
You know, I can appreciate what CAMRA is doing for the preservation of
variety and tradition in British pubs, but the flat condemnation of
*all* lager on general principles by some of its overzealous followers
is just plain fucking silly.
> Beer is best served at around room temprature
^^^^
YM "British Ale".
Belgian Ale is best served at 9 degrees Centigrade, in a stemmed glass,
with a foamy head; and American microbrew can be enjoyed both cold or
from cellar-temperature hand pumps. Meet me at 20 Tank Brewery on 11th
Street in San Francisco sometime and I'll demonstrate -- they serve
their Kinnikinick Standard both ways, and it's fantastic in either
form. The hand-pumped stuff is often dry-hopped in the cask for extra
flavor, but it's got plenty of flavor out of the cold tap too. Which
one is best depends on your mood that day.
> But once you get used to it, it's
> nectar. The varieties avaiable are astounding, all with their own unique
> taste and texture. Much better than the bland, mass-produced, insipid,
> tasteless crud called lager.
Once more: Not all lager is bland, mass-produced, insipid, or
tasteless. Bud, Miller, even Stella Artois, sure. Again I give you the
Watney's Red Barrel counterexample.
> Lager drinkers are the type of people
YM British "lager louts" -- the same sort of folk who in America order
Coors Light at bars. Although the Seppo Coors drinkers don't tend to
bellow out soccer songs in unison when they get drunk in a bunch.
> > and yes, Brit food and Brit beer is some of the finest in the world. I
> > miss living in London more and more each passing day. I want to go
> > back there and live, but the murder rate isn't high enough.
> >
> Oh I don't know. We're doing quite well for bombings at the moment.
Not to mention the punishment beatings in Northern Ireland and the
ever-present football yobbos. I was reading several accounts of both
phenomena in the papers over there back in January-February.
Turns out the British Isles are quite the bastion of brutality in some
aspects. This is not necessarily a Bad Thing, as it was quite
entertaining to read about the soccer yob gangs who would meet before a
match in a pub 'round the corner from the stadium to discuss strategy
for more effective head-busting after the match -- planning out which
stadium exit would be best for encountering the largest number of
opposing team fans to mix it up with, and discussing the most strategic
location for parking the van full of brass knuckles and baseball bats.
This is a country where nobody knows shit about the game of baseball,
let alone plays it (also not necessarily a Bad Thing), but they do buy a
lot of baseball bats.
The bats are also used in the "punishment beatings" in Northern
Ireland. These were supremely tasteless to read about -- in fact, I
think 60 Minutes did a piece on them back in March, with a close-up
picture of one of the nail-studded bats favored by the paramilitary
gangs who carry them out.
Basically, Northern Ireland has several of these strife-ridden
neighborhoods where the police don't even go anymore -- imagine the
worst parts of Los Angeles, but with white people, and you'd be close.
So to fill the void left by the lack of police, the paramilitary goons
maintain some semblance of order by beating the holy living shit out of
the local young punx. Got a reputation in your housing project for
peddling smack or joyriding cars? Expect to be dragged from your flat
by four big dudes wearing masks, shoved in the back of a car, and taken
round the corner to a vacant cul-de-sac for a bit of street discipline.
Imagine the Crips and Bloods as the neighborhood vigilantes instead of
being major participants in the street crime, and you'd be close.
The Irish goons are very precise in their methods, using nail-studded
bats in some cases, very strategically targeting the most painful bones
to break so that their target has about a 50% chance of walking again.
And they often shoot people in the kneecaps, but they first call an
ambulance and wait until they can hear the siren approaching before
firing -- they're not out to kill, after all, just to teach a lesson.
Most excellent.
A.Lizard
>Course Convener - Strayhorn? some dude from *.fi
> (suppressors are legal there?)
>
>on a motorbike as well. Never solved. That's
>impressive since Italy has some fucking good
>special forces SWAT. Actually the Krauts and Frogs
>both have some real impressive anti-terrorist units.
SWAT teams are fine once they know where the targets are. (make
that where they REALLY are, there are a fair number of verified
stories of SWAT in action... busting down the wrong door)
In the area of law enforcement, getting the right intelligence to
act on is always the problem.
>T.
>
>obt: we're trying to age censor the internet
>like movies over here. PG13/NC17 etc. Obviously
>the CDA means nothing in this little backwater.
"People always get the local government they deserve"
E.E. "Doc" Smith
Of course, that's an equally grim comment when applied to
America.
A.Lizard
************************************************************************
Personal Web site http://www.ecis.com/~alizard
For reliable year 2000 info, go to:
http://www.ecis.com/~alizard/y2k.html
backup address (if ALL else fails) ali...@usa.net
PGP 2.6.2 key available by request,keyserver,or on my Web site
Find out what I think of the Littleton school killings at:
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************************************************************************
Francois
>On Thu, 29 Apr 1999 14:20:23 -0400, Bill <Bill....@erols.com> wrote:
>
>>Well they have developed electronic mufflers for cars that eliminate all
>>the sound by using noise cancellation technology so why not build an
>>electronic silencer for a gun using the same technology.
>
>
>A gun is just one big BOOM, and the show's over. You *might* be able to
>noise-cancel a continously-firing machine gun--until its barrel melted.
Or you could record a audio signature of the discharge, deconvolve the
speaker's frequency response out of it, and fire the sound synced with
the trigger pull. All that crap would be heavier than the standard
suppressor, so there's no real reason for it apart from techno-wankage.
ObT: Bose, overpriced horrible sounding crap.
Francois.
edg...@my-dejanews.com
Bill <Bill....@erols.com> wrote:
> Well they have developed electronic mufflers for cars that eliminate all
> the sound by using noise cancellation technology so why not build an
> electronic silencer for a gun
My understanding is that you must have the device between you
and the noise it cancels.
obT:
Mex women and their strange sexual attitudes, or
could it be... women in general?
Randall G. Prince
Hoping they do that for the train noise here... really.
--
"Being asked to leave the monastary due to a masturbation
compulsion is *not* a comfirmation of tastelessness, it only
proves you're a jerk-off."
E-mail: Ran...@thedge.mung.com
-----------== Posted via Deja News, The Discussion Network ==----------
Bill
> As to what pisses off a nurz, she says it's when they're really busy and one
> of the patients decides his/her sore throat is much more important than the
> code blue she's in the middle of. Said asshole patient constantly whines
> about what a busy life they lead, how they'd like to get out of there and
> all they came for was a prescription. Usual question from these assholes
> is, "Can't you just write it for me??" Other things that piss her off:
> Meetings. Cost-cutting (read no raise again this year, because "we really
> need to tighten our belts."). Administrators who drone on and on about
> nothing, saying, "Don't forget to be nice to the patients!" Having to clean
> shit from the asses of people who are three times older than her.
>
> She says things that make her job easier include: having adequate staff on
> duty, and docs who don't write stupid orders, and when they do write stupid
> orders, they can be found to a) interpret the order because the fucker can't
> spell or write legibly, and b) he's not off taking a smoke break.
Sounds as though she does not want to bothered by a patient ever, but on
the other hand, there is nothing a patient can do to make her job easier.
Her view of management is pretty much what it would be in any company.
There is a theory of management called "Monkeys in a tree". If you are at
the top of the management chain, you look down and all you see is smiling
faces. If you are on the bottom and you look up, all you see is assholes.
I always thought it was pretty easy to see assholes from any angle.
NurzRachet
> ObNurzing: Hints for a Hospital Stay
>
> 1) If you want to build up your appetite, don't try too hard with
> their grub. Have someone bring you in some people food instead.
If you think the patient food is bad, you should see what they serve the
employees.
> 2) Make sure the orderlies are taking your blood pressure correctly.
> (E.g., if you're fat you probably need a large cuff.) If there's
> any question about its level, have it double-checked by a real
> nurz.
Yesterday's toilet cleaners are today's orderlies, did you know that?
In fact, there's this big push (nationwide) to cross-train people so
that they can do whatever job is needed, supposedly saving money (enter
the much-hated phrase: cost effectiveness). Do you know that it's been
rumored (and I believe this) that some places do *not* want employees to
wear I.D. badges which state their position or status so that those
people stuck in bed won't realize that it's rare that a real RN is in
their room -- most of the time they're being cared for by unprofessional
unlicensed personnel.
You're right about the blood pressure cuff -- too small a cuff on a
large arm will give a false high reading.
> 3) If something is being done to you you don't understand, question
> it. You don't have to be a good patient if the cost is your life.
> However, be willing to accept a reasonable explanation.
You have every right to know what's being done to you and by whom and
how they intend to do it. You also have the right to know the
alternatives, risks, and what it's going to cost you and your insurance
company. Ask your care giver to show you the Patient Bill of Rights --
you'll be surprised at how you're supposed to be cared for.
> In general, don't be a dick unless you have to; there will be
> enough times that you _will_ have to that you don't want to wear
> your welcome out.
True, but some patients tend to think that being in a hospital is the
same as being in a hotel. Nurses are not waitresses. If you, as a
patient, are able to drag your sorry ass and your I.V. pole over to the
patient patio so you can further damage your lungs by smoking the
no-name brand cigs that your pals brought in, then you can drag your ass
to the bathroom when you get back to your room. I've heard the floor
nurzes bitch about the smokers who come back from the patio, then get
into bed and turn on the call light so that someone can bring them a
bedpan because they're too tired to get into the bathroom.
> ObHospitalQuestions: What is "code red" and "code blue"? In general,
> what pisses off the nurz, and what makes her job easier?
Code Red is a fire, Code Blue is an arrest (cardiac or respiratory).
The code call can be different depending on the institution -- there are
some places which will make cutesy calls in an attempt to fool the
public/patients into thinking all's well. Some examples: the page can
be for "Dr. Red" or "Mr. Blue," or if you need the security boys because
someone's freaking out, you might hear "Mr. Strongman to room X."
What pisses off nurzes? There isn't enough meg space on the a.t. server
for me to tell you all the shit that pisses me off, but one of our pet
peeves is the adoration given those with medical degrees, and how the
rest of us are expected to pay homage to them. I've seen doctors get
away with just about anything, and when someone had the balls to go to
administration about them, the suits simply had a little "talk" with the
doc, who promptly went back to maintaining his/her previous assholian
status.
If you want to make my job easier, don't make unrealistic expectations
of me. If you see we still have 20 cases to go before midnight and I've
already worked 12 hours with no relief in sight, don't call one of the
midnight people and tell them to stay home because we're overstaffed
according to the budget. It seems the fucking bean counters would
rather see me work dead tired and be responsible for lives than to put a
dent in their pathetic budget.
ObT: Hospital administration. The decision-makers and bean counters
are the ones who decide how we do our jobs. I find it ludicrous that
someone who has no idea *how* to do *my* job is making those decisions
for me and then actually evaluates me on how well I do (or don't do) my
job.
Nurzy
Egg Plant
Bill <Bill....@erols.com> wrote in message
news:372B5673...@erols.com...
> Egg Plant wrote:
>
> Sounds as though she does not want to bothered by a patient ever, but on
> the other hand, there is nothing a patient can do to make her job easier.
> Her view of management is pretty much what it would be in any company.
> There is a theory of management called "Monkeys in a tree". If you are at
> the top of the management chain, you look down and all you see is smiling
> faces. If you are on the bottom and you look up, all you see is assholes.
> I always thought it was pretty easy to see assholes from any angle.
Bill, it sounds as if you lead a rather sheltered life. The woman has 15
years experience working for the same employer in two different facilities.
The first facility saw cases from the dregs of humanity infesting the City
of Detroit, including lots of gunshot wounds, car accident vicitims and
victims of general mayhem. She's now employed at a sattelite facility where
they see way less trauma but still quite a few cardiorespiratory cases, a
good deal of them critical. Now, you tell me, what's more important to see
treated: a 57-y/o overweight factory worker who's idea of working out
includes lifting a heavy meal of fatty beef and a 12-pack of beer into the
gaping hole in his face and has all the classic risk factors for either a
heart attack or a stroke? Or some snivelling 26-y/o twat who's most
distressing problem is the hangnail she got while at the manicurist last
Tuesday? As far as I'm concerned, the -twat can wait two or three hours and
she'd better keep her fucking cakehole shut.
Oh, guess who walked in while I was writing this, home from her 10 hour
shift? She says you can go fuck yourself.
Eggplantx
Victor Balaban
As far as terms like "code blue" and "code red", I can tell you
that at Grady hospital there is also a "code brown", meaning that a
patiet has shat himslef and someone needs to clean it up.
There is also a patient code "ART" for "Approaching Room
Temperatue".
I tell you, being married to a doctor gives you ample access to
all sorts of tasteless information.
Victor
Dave/Kristin Hall
: There is also a patient code "ART" for "Approaching Room
: Temperatue".
Actually, this could be an interesting thread - industry jargon for less
than scientific diagnoses...
Adding to the list....
GORK - God Only Really Knows. Listed diagnoses for people with mysterious
illnesses used (at least) in the OKC area. Usage: "What's his diagnosis?"
"GORK."
--
David Hall
Propulsion Geek At Large
Robinson
>
> Lenore Levine wrote:
>
> > In general, don't be a dick unless you have to; there will be
> > enough times that you _will_ have to that you don't want to wear
> > your welcome out.
>
> True, but some patients tend to think that being in a hospital is the
> same as being in a hotel. Nurses are not waitresses.
Having learned terror at the knee of Our Own Nurzy here on a.t., I made
a serious, enthusiastic effort *not* to be an asshole or whine during my
two recent sojourns in the hopsital (spelled it that way on
purpose--it's how I usually say it).
As a result, I got my pain meds on time, generally without having to ask
for them, my IV's never ran dry, clean bedding every morning whether I
needed it or not, pleasant conversation when they weren't too busy, and
was generally the darling of the wing.
It's really very simple--don't piss off the person who has the key to
the medicine cabinet. Get your frowsty ass out of bed, take yourself to
the bathroom, give yourself your own sponge baths, and go for nice
shuffles down the halls without whinging for a nurz to come help you out
of bed. And be nice--the nurzes didn't put you in the hospital, don't
take it out on them for the results of being there.
On the whole, tho, I hope I don't have to see the intimate side of a
hopsital bed again for a long long time...
Lorri
Trembling before the might of the night shift
A.Lizard
wrote:
>Mr. Crank <cinch...@fijfi.nerfball> wrote:
>>On Thu, 29 Apr 1999 14:20:23 -0400, Bill <Bill....@erols.com> wrote:
>>
>>>Well they have developed electronic mufflers for cars that eliminate all
>>>the sound by using noise cancellation technology so why not build an
>>>electronic silencer for a gun using the same technology.
>>
>>Active noise cancellation depends on repetitive noise. [...]
>>
>>A gun is just one big BOOM, and the show's over. You *might* be able to
>>noise-cancel a continously-firing machine gun--until its barrel melted.
>
>Or you could record a audio signature of the discharge, deconvolve the
>speaker's frequency response out of it, and fire the sound synced with
>the trigger pull. All that crap would be heavier than the standard
>suppressor, so there's no real reason for it apart from techno-wankage.
Are you sure? Surface mount, COB, and a high end TI DSP or 4 and
a meg or two of fast SRAM. I think it would be lighter than a
standard suppressor, and it wouldn't wear out. Not sure about how
much the battery pack would weigh.
>ObT: Bose, overpriced horrible sounding crap.
OBT... somebody tried to sell me a stack of their reflection
speakers for sound reinforcement in my young and dumb days... no,
I wasn't *quite* that dumb.
A.Lizard
>
>Francois.
Stephen Wells
(Dave/Kristin Hall) wrote:
> Victor Balaban (vba...@emory.edu) wrote:
>
> : There is also a patient code "ART" for "Approaching Room
> : Temperatue".
>
> Actually, this could be an interesting thread - industry jargon for less
> than scientific diagnoses...
>
> Adding to the list....
>
> GORK - God Only Really Knows.
A common Brit one is NFN. Meaning "Normal for Norfolk", i.e. the thick
end of sheepshagger country.
Sadly, as of a few years back patients on the NHS have the right to see
their notes- so many fine acronyms and pungent comments are dying out.
Shame.
--
Stephen Wells.
Mieulx est de ris que de larmes escrire,
Pour ce que rire est le propre de l'homme.
-Alcofribas Nasier
Slightly Askew
Dave/Kristin Hall <theh...@ridgecrest.ca.us> wrote in message
news:7ggpm7$kfb$1...@ash.ridgecrest.ca.us...
> Victor Balaban (vba...@emory.edu) wrote:
>
> : There is also a patient code "ART" for "Approaching Room
> : Temperatue".
>
> Actually, this could be an interesting thread - industry jargon for less
> than scientific diagnoses...
>
> Adding to the list....
>
> illnesses used (at least) in the OKC area. Usage: "What's his
diagnosis?"
> "GORK."
According to my SR, in the vet industry, GORK is known as ADR or "Ain't
Doing Right". Uh, could you be a little _more_ vague?
SA
--
"I'm sorry, John, but my time is precious to me, and frankly I would rather
have my appendix removed by baboons wielding unsterilized tuna-can lids than
spend so much as five minutes listening to you and Elaine as you once again
describe, item by item, in intricate detail, the late-night buffet on the
cruise you took in 1983."
Tobin R Efferen
<uwhX2.2292$fc1.2...@news.netdirect.net>:
Distribution:
Slightly Askew (slig...@iquest.fishing-gear) wrote:
> >
> > Adding to the list....
> >
> > GORK - God Only Really Knows. Listed diagnoses for people with mysterious
> > illnesses used (at least) in the OKC area. Usage: "What's his
> diagnosis?"
> > "GORK."
>
> According to my SR, in the vet industry, GORK is known as ADR or "Ain't
> Doing Right". Uh, could you be a little _more_ vague?
>
>
Kids with congenital birth defects, such as cleft lips, downs syndrome
etc. are reffered to as FLK's - funny looking kids
Redbeard
Positive O or Q sign: The patient is dead and the mouth is open ( o
Sign), dead with tonque sticking out, Q sign
Patient Status: LGFD, looked good from door
Patient wanting to be released against advise to the contrary: MFA YOYO,
motherfucking asshole you're on you're own.
lurk...
Nathan J Nagel
Stay by Victor Bal...@emory.edu
> As far as terms like "code blue" and "code red", I can tell you
> that at Grady hospital there is also a "code brown", meaning that a
> patiet has shat himslef and someone needs to clean it up.
>
> Temperatue".
>
> all sorts of tasteless information.
>
> Victor
OK, well here's a question for you... how the fark do I get a full meal
at a hospital? it's really weird but I have the metabolism of a weasel.
I eat about twice as much as anyone I know and I still only weigh about
160 (I'm 6 feet tall.) I have this nasty feeling that I've herniated
myself (had one before when I was in 4th grade) and remembering back
that I couldn't eat solid food for a good long time after the op (the
intestinal infection that I picked up in the hospital didn't help) I'd
like to have at least one good last meal before doing the do, so as not
to return to work looking like a refugee from Auschwitz. Still haven't
made a doctor's appt. yet but I have a feeling it's going to be da knife
for me...
nate
ObT: the weird anal aromas I've been emanating for the past couple days,
making me even more sure that something is not quite right in
Colonville...
rasp
The Vyrdolak wrote:
>
> ObT: Getting an odd look from the Authentic Irish Bartender at the local
> paddy pub when I ordered a black and tan. Something to do with Brit
> uniforms in Northern Ireland, I was told.
ObHistory: The 'Black and Tan' were the soldiers that the English
sent over to oppress the masses of poor, working-class Irish who
were becoming more and more vocal and physical about what
incessant pricks the English landlords and Crown gov't
representatives were. So named because of the black and tan
uniforms they wore. Real pricks with poor attitudes and gov't
issue firearms.
Ask for a half-n-half instead. It's Harp and Guinness instead of
Bass and Guinness. You should find it more satisfying, anyway.
ObT: Sandy McCarthy whining to the NHL last week that Tie Domi
called him a nigger. Like nobody ever calls Tie Domi
'Pumpkinhead'. (ObnonHockeyfans- His head does look like a
pumpkin) Just drop your gloves and pound the fuck out of him, you
worthless pussy. Don't piss and moan about somebody calling you a
name.
ObT2: The obscene amount of finger wagging and moral posturing
the Yoo Ess media does anytime someone 'uses the N word'. Like
they never said it. Nobody comes to *my* aid when someone calls
me a big, drunk Irish McPrick.
Rasp
Caine Soma Richards
> In article <7ggpm7$kfb$1...@ash.ridgecrest.ca.us>, theh...@ridgecrest.ca.us
> (Dave/Kristin Hall) wrote:
>
> > Victor Balaban (vba...@emory.edu) wrote:
> >
> > : There is also a patient code "ART" for "Approaching Room
> > : Temperatue".
> >
> > Actually, this could be an interesting thread - industry jargon for less
> > than scientific diagnoses...
> >
> > Adding to the list....
> >
> > GORK - God Only Really Knows.
>
> A common Brit one is NFN. Meaning "Normal for Norfolk", i.e. the thick
> end of sheepshagger country.
>
> Sadly, as of a few years back patients on the NHS have the right to see
> their notes- so many fine acronyms and pungent comments are dying out.
> Shame.
>
>
My S.R. works as a psyche nurse in the psycho-geriatric ward in Wolston
Park Mental Hospital. She reckons that the nurses there have pretty specific
codes, and they get listed in abbreviations on the chart sheets:
FLK: Funny Looking Kid
SB: Smelly Bastard/Bitch
TTGB: Tends To Grope Bathers
DWTE: Don't Watch Them Eat
RDBC: Regular Dick Bag Change (for those who have a catheter)
CRS: Can't Remember Shit
AC: Abusive Cunt
Caine Soma Richards (lurkin' wiv his hand down his pants)
Caine Soma Richards
Caine Soma Richards
Egg Plant
Once was enough... Twice was a mistake.... Three tiimes is an abortion.
Learn how to work your news editor, and if the message don't show up right
away, give your news server some time to get on it.
--
Eggplant
-------------------------
"You're just jealous because the voices in my head don't
talk to YOU."
-- J'raxis 270145
Caine Soma Richards <s138...@student.gu.edu.au> wrote the same fucking
message three times over, check out
news:372F37A1...@student.gu.edu.au...
>
> My S.R. works as a psyche nurse in the psycho-geriatric ward in Wolston
> Park Mental Hospital. She reckons that the nurses there have pretty
specific
> codes, and they get listed in abbreviations on the chart sheets:
<snip>
Pinhead the Cenobite
wrote:
>Lenore Levine <lev...@orion.math.uiuc.edu> wrote in message
>news:7ge47a$f58$1...@vixen.cso.uiuc.edu...
>> NurzRachet <The...@ix.netcom.com> writes (re Oprah):
>>
>> ObHospitalQuestions: What is "code red" and "code blue"? In general,
>> what pisses off the nurz, and what makes her job easier?
>
>Took the time to pose the above questions to the SR this morning. She says
>it depends on which hospital yer at, but in most circumstances a code blue
>is short form for cardiac arrest. Code red is any resuscitation not
>immediately related to cardiac cause.
And here, it's exactly the opposite. In the hospitals, you can see the
cardiac "crash carts" with a placard over them stating to "call 333
and state C.A., floor and wing". The crash carts are covered with a
red cover that's dropped in front of the door where the C.A. is taking
place so it's easilly found by any others rushing to render aid (or
aid rendering).
--
DARE to keep kids off Schwag
Remove NOSPAM for e-mail reply
Egg Plant
news:slrn7iu6ns...@csi.chariott.com...
>
> Oh damn! I see a reply by Eggy and get all excited at the gut wrenching
belly
> laugh about to approach, only to find a small whipping by Eggy with a wet
> noodle. The anticipation of "What's he gonna say now" just makes me
anxious I
> guess.
We aim to please, so would you please aim??
> I have another week of the artistic pus-n-blood tissues
> to view every morning as I talk my choad down from that of a stiff 2x4
into the
> rigidity of a freshly boiled noodle so I can piss.
I thought that was your SR's job, cooing sweet love poetry to your penis in
an attempt to get the little fucker to settle down from it's early morning
excitement. Better get the whips and chains out, she needs some
edumacation.
--
Eggplant
-------------------------
"... a human ear on a mouse... I'd call that a failure. Now, a mouse
running around with some kids' shween growing out of it's back is what
I'd consider to be tax dollars well spent. Hell, they spend more to make
a movie, I'd pay $8 to see the amazing dickmouse."
-- Rev. Syd Midnight
Michael Cogan
>ObHospitalQuestions: What is "code red"
In my Horstable it means the place is on fire.
Io
> Ask for a half-n-half instead. It's Harp and Guinness instead of
> Bass and Guinness. You should find it more satisfying, anyway.
Ask for a half-n-half 'round here and you get a quote for a suck and a
fuck.
More satisfying than a Harp-n-Guinness anyday.
Well, most any day.
Mike Weber
In a previous article, s138...@student.gu.edu.au (Caine Soma Richards) says:
> My S.R. works as a psyche nurse in the psycho-geriatric ward in Wolston
>Park Mental Hospital. She reckons that the nurses there have pretty specific
>codes, and they get listed in abbreviations on the chart sheets:
>
>DWTE: Don't Watch Them Eat
OK, I'll bite... why not?
ObTasteless:
The way the lead character in Croenberg's "The Fly" ate.
--
"This is a test of the Emergency Broadcast System. This is only a test.
Had this been an actual emergency, you'd be writhing on the ground in
unspeakable agony, bleeding from every orifice, with your blackened skin
falling away in ragged strips."
Mike Weber
In a previous article, s138...@student.gu.edu.au (Caine Soma Richards) says:
> My S.R. works as a psyche nurse in the psycho-geriatric ward in Wolston
>Park Mental Hospital. She reckons that the nurses there have pretty specific
>codes, and they get listed in abbreviations on the chart sheets:
>
>CRS: Can't Remember Shit
Is that why you posted this THREE times?
Peter H.M. Brooks
by a new Danish film, released uncut here, called 'Idioterne' or 'The
Idiots'. There was a very amusing Mother Grundy on Radio 4 this evening
going on about how terrible this lack of political correctness is.
I gather that the film is about people getting sexual excitement from
pretending to be idiots (mongols/Down's syndrome/FLK's/people with
'learning difficulties' [in a similar way to which apples have 'learning
difficulties']).
It seems to me that the politically correct get sexual excitement out
of getting indignant when their favourite euphemisms are shown for the
ridiculous Victorian priggishness that they are. It is good, for them
as well as us, that we should have a film presenting the other side
of the coin - besides, it sounds fun!
--
Peter H.M. Brooks
Homo homini lupus - Thomas Hobbes
--== Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/ ==--
---Share what you know. Learn what you don't.---
liv...@flowwise.com
Peter H.M. Brooks <pe...@psyche.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>
> I haven't seen the film, but, apparently we are going to be
> delighted by a new Danish film, released uncut here, called
> 'Idioterne' or 'The Idiots'. There was a very amusing Mother
> Grundy on Radio 4 this evening going on about how terrible
> this lack of political correctness is.
The politically correct attitude is that when Europeans
are politically incorrect, it is still politically correct,
because European political incorrectness is actually a
form of sophisitcation, unlike the British variety, which
is merely uncouth.
> I gather that the film is about people getting sexual
> excitement from pretending to be idiots (mongols/Down's
> syndrome/FLK's/people with 'learning difficulties' [in
> a similar way to which apples have 'learning difficulties']).
I'm glad you explained that. It gives me new insight
into s.c.b.
jon.
Citizen Ted
<pe...@psyche.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>I haven't seen the film, but, apparently we are going to be delighted
>by a new Danish film, released uncut here, called 'Idioterne' or 'The
>Idiots'. There was a very amusing Mother Grundy on Radio 4 this evening
>going on about how terrible this lack of political correctness is.
>
>I gather that the film is about people getting sexual excitement from
>pretending to be idiots (mongols/Down's syndrome/FLK's/people with
>'learning difficulties' [in a similar way to which apples have 'learning
>difficulties']).
I await excitedly the domestic (US) release of this film.
Though I get no sexual charge from behaving like a retard, I
do spend an inordinate amount of my day doing just that.
It all started with my childhood appreciation of the "Upper
Class Twit of the Year" skit on Monty Python. As a youngster, I would
race around the house, knock-kneed, twirling my arms, affecting an
overbite and making insipid noises. My mother warned me that if I
wasn't careful, the karmic wheel would cause me to get into some kind
of accident and actually suffer such impediments.
She was wrong. I'm fine.
Nonetheless, throughout school, and especially in high school,
I enjoyed acting like a retard. I studied the local retards, and got
their schtik down pretty well. I learned to pull my eyelids down to
half-mast, stick my tongue behind my lower lip, keep my arms in a
palsied pose in front of my chest, and shuffle when I walked.
Vocalizations included the famed "duh" and "doey", not to
mention the more-realistic "halnf" and "glaaaaaack". After witnessing
my first epileptic friend have a grand mal seizure, I soon took to
acting like a retard, then slowly turning up the intensity until I
went into full-blown spastic fits, rolling around on the ground, my
muscles all tight and veiny, howling like a lunatic and letting
spittle pool onto my chest.
I was a very popular guy.
Through my Navy enlistment, I pretty much put a kibosh on the
retard bit. It's tough enough scoring chicks when you're a squid. A
retard squid has no chance in hell...
But upon my discharge, I was back in Jersey, smokin' dope with
my buddies and acting like a retard. I now had a few new gurus from
whom to learn: a deaf/mute/tard who worked in the cable company
warehouse, and a neighborhood harelip/tard-boy.
I studied both men very carefully. The deaf/mute taught me to
create those loud, piercing vocalizations which drive anyone around
you to instant distraction. I can only describe them through lame
text:
"HADNT! HADNT! HnnNNnNnNHHH!!! HADNT! HOUNT! Hount-hount!!
HOUNT!!! Hadnt! Hadnt! Hneeeeeee!!!!! Hnnneeeeeeeee!!!!"
I guess you had to be there.
At any rate, I could now complement my retard act with crass,
noisome vocalizations. But there was something missing: modulated
intelligence. No one wants to hear some retard bellow syllables for
three straight hours (although I was fully capable, willing, and
renown for doing so).
Thus, I had to employ speech to not only look funny, but sound
funny. Here is where the harelip came in.
Luckily, the local harelip smoked pot. We became buddies for
several weeks, smoking joints, stealing cartons of cigarettes from the
Krauzer's store and watching traffic go by. In between, we talked. He
liked to go on and on about sex, a subject he knew firsthand from
Screw magazine. I'd fill him in with my personal experiences, and he
would practically silence himself with veneration at every sordid,
squishy detail.
After awhile, I became proficient in harelip. It involves
closing off your nasal passages and carefully modulating the amount of
expulsed air. Most people speak from their throats; harelips have a
greater volume of their speech patterns generated in their nasal
passages. Their voices are blunted by thick nasal constriction.They
tend to blot words that end in consonants, and have those
oh-so-familiar speech impediments shared by young boys: the "th" in
place of "f", slushy-sounding s's, "w" in place of "r", and sentences
which finish up with a "ffff" noise sent out the nostrils.
My act was now complete. I could appear anywhere in a delicate
public situation, and embarrass whatever friend was foolish enough to
be with me at the moment. I would crane my neck spastically, dislocate
my jaws a bit, drop the eyelids, palsy my arms then start yowling in
harelip about "You dun't unnerthtand! I mithed the thukkin' buth!
Wher(l) is the thukkin' buth? Whaddaya fink I am, thum kinna wee-taud?
I ain't we-tauded! So thuk you! I'm waiting for my thukkin' bus!
You-ah da thukkin' we-taud! Thuk you!"
This, of course, was all performed at extreme volume, usually
while my friend was struck in line to purchase something, or trying to
make some inquiry with a stranger.
It was quite effective.
One day, I was challenged by my friends to fool a
professional. A quasi-cop (the Park Narc) was stationed at our local
hangout, known to the citizenry as Veteran's Park. The locals were all
afraid to go there at night, as us dopers had pretty much taken over
completely after every sundown.
The Park Narc had a beat-up Dodge and a radio to police
dispatch. We ignored him regularly and carried with our drinking,
drugging and fucking. He had no authority to arrest us, and we knew
it. All he could do was call the cops. And we ran faster than the
cops. No problems.
At any rate, I was challenged to trick the Park Narc. Since he
knew who I was, I wore some funky clothes and a big floppy hat. I
approached the crew on a park bench, and together we smoked some pot
well within the Park Narc's line of sight. He did nothing, as usual.
Then, I went into my retard bit. I started getting all
agitated. The crew started following me, feigning concern. We got
closer to the Park Narc. I started having palsied fits, bellowing
harelip inanities as loud as I could. The crew circled around me. I
went full-bore spazzo and hit the grass, flopping around like a fish,
my arms and legs jerking wildly and vibrating like a hummingbird.
The Park Narc immediately ran over to me as the crew
dispersed. I remember him looking over me with a terrified look on his
face, saying, "What's the matter, son, you need a doctor? Is it the
drugs? I'll get help..."
As he turned to make a call to dispatch, I got up and ran
away, giving the Park Narc a behind-the-back finger the whole time.
Well, I could go on and on about my youth and the Park Narc,
but I just wanted to mention that are some people (very talented
people) who enjoy and luxuriate in acting like retards. I'm one of
them.
I still do my retard act once in a while, esp at work. The
boss wants me to tone it done, as several customers have inquired
about the yowling noises emanating from the area where they had
expected a genius technician to be repairing their items.
Ah, fuck 'em f they can't take a joke...
- TR
- me am lee-taud.
Stephen Wells
Ted) wrote:
[his own tales of SimTard]
> - TR
> - me am lee-taud.
There has been some surprise that "The idiots" is coming out uncut here
in the UK, home of censorship; the BBFC passed it even though it shows
erection and penetration, which as far as the FilmFascists are concerned
are usually verboten. Gaspar Noe, who made 'Seul Contre tous', was pissed
off because they blurred the porn-film the protagonist watches; said that
an alternative title to 'I stand alone' would be 'Genitals: a major
British enemy'.
Of course, in this internet age, all the explicit filth anyone in the
world could want is only a few mouseclicks away, but apparently this news
has not filtered through to the higher echelons of our Moral Guardians.
Fortunately.
--
Stephen Wells
"Mieulx est de ris que de larmes escrire,
Pour ce que rire est le propre de l'homme."
-Alcofribas Nasier.
Monkey Boy
Stephen Wells wrote:
> There has been some surprise that "The idiots" is coming out uncut here
> in the UK, home of censorship
Excuse me for just a moment, but calling the UK the home of censorship,
is on the same level as calling Harlem a nice, well to do, white community.
Here in the good 'Ole Yewess, you can subdue the average middle class
citizen, shove a lump 'o coal up their sphincter, and fully expect to see a
fucking diamond in a matter of moments.
ObT: Tipper Gore.
-------------------------------------------
"If it's dead, I can keep it that way."
-------------------------------------------
Lyndon Watson
ham...@omit.nas.com (Citizen Ted) writes:
> Though I get no sexual charge from behaving like a retard, I
> do spend an inordinate amount of my day doing just that.
>
> It all started with my childhood appreciation of the "Upper
> Class Twit of the Year" skit on Monty Python. As a youngster, I would
> race around the house, knock-kneed, twirling my arms, affecting an
> overbite and making insipid noises.
Yeah, I used to do that act - the hunched shoulder, palsied arms,
twisted mouth, dragging foot - especially when I was drunk enough to
think it was amusing. It caused me what must be either my most serious
or second-most serious social embarrassment.
It was a very high society wedding in a different city; I and a sizable
group of friends and acquaintances were guests of the groom. At the
reception which was held in the bride's father's mansion I got drunk
enough on champagne, in a group mainly of my friends, to do my tard act.
It was only after I sobered up that I remembered that (a) some of the
bride's large family had been present and (b) one of the bride's
brothers was mildly palsied and tended to drag a foot and hold one arm
just like my act. It was nearly twenty years ago, and I don't think
any of the bride's family has spoken to me since....
> Ah, fuck 'em f they can't take a joke...
Right on.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lyndon Watson deslash L.Watson/@/its/./canterbury/./ac/./nz
------------------------------------------------------------------------
postmaster@localhost,abuse@localhost,ro...@mailloop.com
cat/dev/zero/tmp/...`@localhost,halt@localhost
Stephen Wells
> On Wed, 12 May 1999 23:14:26 +0100, in uk.misc
> sa...@deathtospam.hermes.cam.ac.uk (Stephen Wells) wrote:
> <snip>
> >
> >"Mieulx est de ris que de larmes escrire,
> > Pour ce que rire est le propre de l'homme."
> > -Alcofribas Nasier.
> >
>
> Mieulx ? escrire? Mr 'Alcofribas Nasier' did not do too well in ecole
> by the sound of it.
Francois Rabelais (note the anagram) was writing some centuries past,
and orthography has changed somewhat. Lude singe cucu and so on.
Sharv
In alt.tasteless Stephen Wells <sa...@deathtospam.hermes.cam.ac.uk> wrote:
> Francois Rabelais (note the anagram) was writing some centuries past,
> and orthography has changed somewhat. Lude singe cucu and so on.
in reference to his .sig, which reads:
> "Mieulx est de ris que de larmes escrire,
> Pour ce que rire est le propre de l'homme."
> -Alcofribas Nasier.
to which I've finally got to say:
Okay, you smart, brainy fucker. I've been reading that damned .sig for
MONTHS and still don't know what it means. Sure, I'm an ugly American and
don't even know how to pronounce "Alcofribas", so howzabout enlightening
us?
-Sharv
--
"I'm of the opinion that the majority of people in this country would
happily ignore Jews being herded into gas chambers as long as the TV
cable wasn't interrupted."
-- Ken Strayhorn
Stephen Wells
> [NOTE: newsgroups list trimmed to a.t. only]
>
> In alt.tasteless Stephen Wells <sa...@deathtospam.hermes.cam.ac.uk> wrote:
> > Francois Rabelais (note the anagram) was writing some centuries past,
> > and orthography has changed somewhat. Lude singe cucu and so on.
>
> in reference to his .sig, which reads:
>
> > "Mieulx est de ris que de larmes escrire,
> > Pour ce que rire est le propre de l'homme."
> > -Alcofribas Nasier.
>
> to which I've finally got to say:
>
> Okay, you smart, brainy fucker. I've been reading that damned .sig for
> MONTHS and still don't know what it means. Sure, I'm an ugly American and
> don't even know how to pronounce "Alcofribas", so howzabout enlightening
> us?
Success! The sole purpose of my .sig is to cause ignorant proles such
as your good transatlantic self to ask me what it means, allowing me to
dispense trivia with a lofty air of wisdom. Thank you.
Alcofribas Nasier was a pseudonym used by Francois Rabelais- lawyer,
doctor, friar, humanist, filthy-minded- for the first volumes of his great
work, Gargantua and Pantagruel, devoted to the pleasures of
post-renaissance life, the correct education of a prince, satire against
the Papacy, and how to wipe your bum with a live goose while composing
poems in praise of shitting and giving the doctors of the Sorbonne
leprosy.
The .sig is in slightly archaic French, from the introductory poem to
Gargantua, and it means: It is better to write of laughter than of tears,
because laughter is proper to man.
A good excuse for mocking the afflicted and delighting in bodily
functions, with impeccable literary backup.
--
Stephen Wells
Gary Robert Kelly
> Bill Oakly opined:
<IRONY>
> > Typical asswipe, xenophobic, Limey faggot.
</IRONY>
> Nope. Experience.
>
> I'm a mutt, Bill. Heinz-57.
>
> Brit, Scot, German, and-Irish. (County Cork)
>
> I call-em like I saw them. In person.
>
> I see a zenaphobe, Bill.
Yeah, bleedin' Buddhists stealing our women & our jobs! Pass the
petrol!
--
Gaz Kelly <change 'tepid' to 'hot' to reply>
"I'm ninety-three and you're sixteen,
Can't you see I'm goin' blind?"
Nikolaus Maack
A zenaphobe is someone afraid of eastern philosophies and tranquil
meditation. They often attack Asians on the street, screaming, "What's
the sound of one hand clapping, asshole? What's the sound? It'll tell
you what it is! My fist in your face! Let's have another fuckin' round
of applause!"
Or perhaps a zenaphobe is someone who is afraid of sword-wielding lesbians
in leather bikinis. (Or is that Xenaphobe? This is what I get for not
watching television. All my cultural references are fucked up.)
The word you're looking for is xenophobe, I believe. Not to be confused
with xenuphobe, another term for a scientologist.
Nik
PS.
Nothing like an obscure scientology gag to amuse us all.
--
"All roads lead to the collie semen."
-- Fred Maack
Pinhead the Cenobite
Maack) wrote:
>
>GRay (ggp...@gte.net) writes:
>> I call-em like I saw them. In person.
>> I see a zenaphobe, Bill.
>
>A zenaphobe is someone afraid of eastern philosophies and tranquil
>meditation. They often attack Asians on the street, screaming, "What's
>the sound of one hand clapping, asshole?
At which point you slap your forehead with your hand, smile knowingly
and walk away...
>The word you're looking for is xenophobe, I believe.
And the Z key is right beside the X key. Nuff said.
ObT: Having a life *just* tasteful enough to have to resort to typo
fun n' games to aleviate the boredom.
--
"He's not like us, see, he drinks his Jack straight, he sleeps
with his wife and he pays his whores."
-Big Black: "Deep Six"
E-mail: Figger it out.
robf...@my-dejanews.com
>
You mean someone with a pathologically morbid fear of Sgt. Zeno?
Wow....
Lorri
Kill fucking DejaNews
LINCARD 1000
>Bill Oakly opined:
>
>> Typical asswipe, xenophobic, Limey faggot.
>
>Nope. Experience.
[gets all excited] Oooo so youre an experienced Limey faggot? The best
kind, I always say. Say GRay, you wanna come with me to somewhere
dark, moist, quiet so we can do unspeakably obscenely biological
things to each other?
LINCARD "I'll take contestant #2!" 1000
-----
"You can have my penis when you pry it from my cold, dead, fingers."
- Fuzzy Pink Bunny Slippers, A.T, April '99
Herry
>
> On Mon, 17 May 1999 18:57:37 +0100, in uk.misc
> sa...@deathtospam.hermes.cam.ac.uk (Stephen Wells) wrote:
> >
> > Francois Rabelais (note the anagram) was writing some centuries past,
> >and orthography has changed somewhat. Lude singe cucu and so on.
> >
>
> plutot dialectique, ou argot si vous en voulez come cette morceaux du
> Ballade de Paris, ecris par Eustache Deschamps:
Speak the Queen's English you Frog cunt.
ObT: The French. The only species left you can be openly racist
about, and still abide by the laws of PoliticalCorrectness.
Herry "More bomb testing in the Pacific NOW!!!"
--
"We all know that the French are the greatest lovers in the world.
It's their great oral sex. Hey, you'd want it to be good after all
those centuries experience licking German boots"
- Jean Kitson
e-mail address - mongrelatnetspacedotnetdotau
Herry's No Frills A.t archives - temporarily closed for business
"Email is NOT secure...", the Australian Federal Police to me.
da...@computraining.com.au webm...@godhatesfags.com
sa...@nisitasecurity.com reiner...@riotinto.com.au
A. Sears
>
> ObT: One of Big Black's later albums was called "Songs About Fucking".
>
> ObT2: Not one song on the aforementioned album was in reference to
> fornication.
Well, the album title comes from 'The Power of Independent Trucking':
the line about "Sing a song about fornicate".
Big Black has ceased to exist, but Steve Albini, the main dude, is now a
fair-to-middlin' record producer, having done stuff for PJ Harvey,
Smashing Pumpkins, and others.
Big Black lyrics can be found at:
http://www.cultdeadcow.com/~rfleming/bigblack/
ObT: the page host's note on that page, right after the liner note for
the song 'L-Dopa' (the musical high point of Songs About Fucking):
That Oliver Sacks has been portrayed by Robin Williams
in a saccharine mass-market tearjerker movie in no way
invalidates his life's work: documenting the entertaining
behavior of people with severe brain anomalies.
'The Man Who Mistook His Wife For A Hat' was one of my fave college
textbooks.
GRay
> about, and still abide by the laws of PoliticalCorrectness.
>
> Herry "More bomb testing in the Pacific NOW!!!"
No shit. The rudest bastards I ever came across in Your-roop. The elders
were ok, but the youth were pricks. All of-em.
Germans, cool. Belgians, cool. English, cool.
ObFrogT: French prick BBQ.
ObCool: Beer cans for sale in the soda machines!
--
GRay-
Kill the extra "g" for mail.
"Between all this grindingly awful shit and Celine Dion hit singles
in every fucking suermarket aisle, I'm ready to take a hostage."
-- Robin Pastorio-Newman --
GRay
> Typical asswipe, xenophobic, Limey faggot.
Nope. Experience.
I'm a mutt, Bill. Heinz-57.
Brit, Scot, German, and-Irish. (County Cork)
I call-em like I saw them. In person.
I see a zenaphobe, Bill.
You.
ObUK: Great cider!!!
Pinhead the Cenobite
<wor...@dworley.ne.mediaone.net> wrote:
>pin...@NOSPAM.fuckyou.co.uk (Pinhead the Cenobite) writes:
>> "He's not like us, see, he drinks his Jack straight, he sleeps
>> with his wife and he pays his whores."
>> -Big Black: "Deep Six"
>
>What, BTW, is the context for this?
Shit, Dale, ask the *easy* questions, why doncha? You'd have to be
familiar with the little band that was popular in Wisconsin around
84-87 called Big Black. Just a trio of students (2 in law, 1 in the
literary arts I believe) who made music with heavy, grinding basslines
before Tool put such bass into vogue almost a decade later.
Anyway, the liner notes for the album, "Racer X" refer to the tune
Deep Six thusly:
"spend five minutes with a truck driver, and your conversation will
encompass the whole of man's experience. sex, hate, pain, money,
liquor, food, pride, humility, ambition, weapons, waylon jennings,
dick size- everything. deep six, deep seven-whatever it takes. this is
all true. "
The .sig I'm currently using is a part of the song where said trucker
is referring to one of his bretheren whom he considers "uppity" and
thus feels that he wouldn't mind "deep sixing" the bugger.
ObT: One of Big Black's later albums was called "Songs About Fucking".
Nothing like the looks on the faces of the CD store drones when you
ask them "if they have Songs About Fucking".
ObT2: Not one song on the aforementioned album was in reference to
fornication.
>Dale
Shoeshine Boy
<mommy.I....@vacuum.flush.gov> wrote:
<...>
>ObT: The French. The only species left you can be openly racist
>about, and still abide by the laws of PoliticalCorrectness.
ObMoreT: The fucking Quebeqouis. Low-rent trailer-trash French
wanna-bes. Just as snotty as the French, if not more so, but with no
culture of their own aside from canoes and beaver pelts.
--
Shoeshine Boy
Humble and loveable
--
Nikolaus Maack
Shoeshine Boy (shoesh...@DAMNSPAM.fuckyou.co.uk) writes:
> ObMoreT: The fucking Quebeqouis. Low-rent trailer-trash French
> wanna-bes. Just as snotty as the French, if not more so, but with no
> culture of their own aside from canoes and beaver pelts.
Beaver pelts? That's just wrong. No one should scalp a woman's pubic
region. There's way too much bleeding down there as it is now, without
psychos going around carving that particular area up. I knew French
Canadians were weird, but this is just too, too much.
Nik
Jesse Brink
Nikolaus Maack <ac...@FreeNet.Carleton.CA> wrote in article
<7htdf6$e...@freenet-news.carleton.ca>...
>
> Shoeshine Boy (shoesh...@DAMNSPAM.fuckyou.co.uk) writes:
> Beaver pelts? That's just wrong. No one should scalp a woman's pubic
> region. There's way too much bleeding down there as it is now, without
> psychos going around carving that particular area up. I knew French
> Canadians were weird, but this is just too, too much.
Have you no respect for tradition and history? Back in the good old days
before political correctness, when the white man was exterminating the
indigenous peoples, it was customary among some to scalp the crotch hairs
of the women they killed. But fair is fair; when it was white men who were
killed, the Indian women would cut off peckers and such. Some tribes also
sodomized the dead enemy after a battle as an expression of contempt. That
must have made for some strange and disturbing scenes on the battle-fields
right after a skirmish. Many people don't even know the white men took
scalps, much less collected muffs. The don't teach history worth a damn in
this country.
******************************************************************
"Never throw shit at an armed man.
Never stand next to someone who is throwing shit at an armed man"
- Larry Niven
Colin Rosenthal
Steve Firth <fil...@civet.firthcom.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>Shoeshine Boy <shoesh...@DAMNSPAM.fuckyou.co.uk> wrote:
>
>> Quebeqouis. [snip] Just as snotty as the French, if not more so
>
>Ah but they get a wonderful shock when they visit France. Where they are
>laughed at because of their quaint colonial accents and largely ignored
>because of their inadequate social graces.
>
>A bit like Yanks visiting the UK in fact.
Or anybody else visiting France ...
--
Colin Rosenthal
Astrophysics Institute
University of Oslo
Nikolaus Maack
"Jesse Brink" (jesseb*nospam*@elko-nv.com) writes:
> Have you no respect for tradition and history? Back in the good old days
> before political correctness, when the white man was exterminating the
> indigenous peoples, it was customary among some to scalp the crotch hairs
> of the women they killed.
Thanks for sharing this. What did they do with the scalped pubes? You
always hear lovely stories about men wearing a necklace of ears around
their neck as they tromp through the jungles of Vietnam. Did natives make
carpets out of vaginal fur? Jackets? Or, most importantly, underwear,
with the fur side facing in?
I picture myself in a lovely little ensemble made entirely of scalped
pubes. I won't be picky -- men can "donate" their fuzz to the making of
my suit. Ideally, I would scalp different coloured hair from all sorts of
men and women. Blondes, brunettes, and redheads would all be a part of my
pubic hair suit. A technicolour dream coat of a sinister nature...
I bet a pair of pants made entirely of the scalped pubic regions of
redheads would be worth a lot of money. Is anyone going to Ireland any
time soon?
MikeM
(Proctalgia) wrote:
>Cavalry used to put them around the pommel of their saddle.
Yep. One of the worst (best?) stories I've read was about
the Sand Creek Massacre. Inhuman (or should I say "all too
human") butchery in all its glory.
Of course, we're much more civilized now.
MikeM
Alraune
>Have you no respect for tradition and history? Back in the good old
>days before political correctness, when the white man was
>exterminating the indigenous peoples, it was customary among some to
>scalp the crotch hairs of the women they killed. But fair is fair;
>when it was white men who were killed, the Indian women would cut off
>peckers and such. Some tribes also sodomized the dead enemy after a
>battle as an expression of contempt.
In the late, lamented DC comics 'Animal Man', the hero channeled animal
powers and emotions, sometimes involuntarily. When he caught his wife
with her boyfriend, he forced him into a submissive position and
mounted him in the front yard. I'd rather have Batman beat the shit out
of me, at least I wouldn't be punked out when I got to Blackwater
Prison.
Alraune
Legless
ac...@FreeNet.Carleton.CA (Nikolaus Maack) wrote:
<SNIP>
>
> I bet a pair of pants made entirely of the scalped pubic regions of
> redheads would be worth a lot of money. Is anyone going to Ireland
any
> time soon?
>
> Nik
Ahhh Ireland. My last job meant that I was over there quite a lot. I
love the place. The best thing about Ireland, especially Galway, is
that all of the bog-trotting male paddies fuck off to England to find
work leaving those beautiful lassess behind and alone. In Galway, women
outnumber the men by about 5 to one. Even an ugly cunt like me can
score with little or no effort. It's the only place that I've ever been
where the women ( fit ones, not dogs ) come up to *you* in bars and
offer to buy you a beer in the hope of getting laid. Magic place.
Vommy, book your self a ticket now and you'd be dead in a week thru
fucking yourself to death.
Legless
Obt: Vommy's corpse/husk hanging by his choad from an Irish girls cunt
as she tries to squeeze just one more ride from him.
Pinhead the Cenobite
wrote:
>On Wed, 19 May 1999 02:30:06 GMT, in uk.misc
>shoesh...@DAMNSPAM.fuckyou.co.uk (Shoeshine Boy) wrote:
>>
>>ObMoreT: The fucking Quebeqouis. Low-rent trailer-trash French
>>wanna-bes.
>Yep, they are as bad as the Canucks
Just thought I'd point out that the Quebeqouis *are* Canucks, you
bloody great tool. They just like to *think* they're different.
ObT: Folks who can't figure out that France, or parts thereof are not
located within Canada's borders.
--
"America! I've got my bible!
America! And I've got my handgun!
America! Now I'm ready!
Are *you*?
-- D.O.A.
E-mail: You know what to do.
Dead Mangled Pigeon
Joanna Prescott wrote in message <3757563e...@news.demon.co.uk>...
>I'm afraid you've lost me on that one. But I do think that if the good
>Lord had intended women to be muscley, they'd have been born with
>balls.
Some are, ducky.
Gary Robert Kelly
news:7i1lef$7pm$1...@news8.svr.pol.co.uk...
Queens don't call each other "ducky"! They say "girlfriend!" Gerrit
straight!
So to speak.
--
Gaz Kelly <change 'tepid' to 'hot' to reply>
"I'm glad she makes you feel like dancing, Leo, 'cos you make me
feel like driving into a fucking brick wall...!" - Jack Dee
bry...@my-dejanews.com
ac...@FreeNet.Carleton.CA (Nikolaus Maack) wrote, in response to:
> "Jesse Brink" (jesseb*nospam*@elko-nv.com)'s sad lament about the
putrid state of modern education, that fails to inform of the american
practice of taking pubic scalps of native women:
> Thanks for sharing this. What did they do with the scalped pubes?
i distinctly remember reading that *some* men made tobacco pouches out
of 'em. mmm, what a bouquet that would add to the smokin's, eh?
nik then waxes poetic about the advantages of clothing made of said
twatrug:
> I won't be picky -- men can "donate" their fuzz to the making
> of my suit.
i see by your punctuation skills that you've accurately sussed the
willingness of would-be donors ...
> I bet a pair of pants made entirely of the scalped pubic regions of
> redheads would be worth a lot of money. Is anyone going to Ireland
> any time soon?
remember, you can commingle pit hair with pubes, and no one would be
any the wiser. well, maybe if they insisted on checking the *hand* (as
it were) of the material. i'm going to ireland, but i greatly doubt any
of my friends, or even the innocent bystanders, could be talked into
willingly giving up their bum-fluff. for that matter, the IRA and the
british troops must leave a healthy helping of corpses about. why not
skin them?
b.
"it's not as if they'll *need* it any time soon, or anything, y'know
..."
Dead Mangled Pigeon
Gary Robert Kelly wrote in message <37446...@news1.mcmail.com>...
>Queens don't call each other "ducky"! They say "girlfriend!" Gerrit
>straight!
I bow to your knowledge, Gary.
How did you acquire it?
The only homosexual chap I know (to my knowledge)
is a thoroughly great bloke. He's not in any way camp
or anything, just quite blatant about his preference.
Sue Spence
says...
>
>On Thu, 20 May 1999 13:49:39 GMT, bi...@orla.demon.co.uk (Bill Oakey)
>wrote:
>
>>On Thu, 20 May 1999 12:22:06 GMT, in uk.misc
>>joa...@lotos-land.demon.co.uk (Joanna Prescott) wrote:
>>
>>>
>>>I believe so. Many of the scb chaps watch it.
>>>
>>
>>How sad, almost as sad as those that salivate over this Buffy
>>chappess.
>
>I'm afraid you've lost me on that one. But I do think that if the good
>Lord had intended women to be muscley, they'd have been born with
>balls.
I think he's referring to "Buffy, the Vampire Slayer". I haven't seen it, but
might watch it some time if I can remember. Sounds like my kind of TV show.
>>
>>>
>>>I've only seen a trailer for it too, looked perfectly ghastly.
>>>
>>
>>Yes, a decent film such as Rambo XI would be better.
>
>Oh no, 'The Hill II' would suit me better, tough British chaps.
>>
>>>
>>>She doesn't look the type for golden showers, too muscle bound.
I'll bet she'd have better aim than most women would, though.
>>>
>>
>>Probably small minded too boot, is she blonde perchance? and where is
>>Ovt Rnef and his "Blond girlfriend" when one sees the chance of a good
>>laugh at the expense of another.
Of course she's not blonde - she has lovely long brown hair. I think.
I can't understand why you people are saying horrible things about Xena. She's
awesome.
Alraune
>
>> Thanks for sharing this. What did they do with the scalped pubes?
>
>i distinctly remember reading that *some* men made tobacco pouches out
>of 'em. mmm, what a bouquet that would add to the smokin's, eh?
>
They made them out of squaw tits. How could you tan an eviscerated
vagina, it's all innards? There's nothing to hold it toghether, it
would fall apart. Ed Gein could have told you that.
Alraune
Jim Collier
> [Previous post and poster snipped for insulting the frogs.]
>
> >Yep, [Quebecers] are as bad as the Canucks
>
> Just thought I'd point out that the Quebeqouis *are* Canucks, you
> bloody great tool. They just like to *think* they're different.
>
> ObT: Folks who can't figure out that France, or parts thereof are not
> located within Canada's borders.
Wanna bet? St-Pierre et Miquelon are a pair of islands belonging to
France in Newfie waters, 20 miles off the Burin Peninsula (the
southernmost point of Newfoundland) near the entrance to Fortune
Bay. They are quite visible from Newfoundland soil. They are the
only French possessions north of the tropics in this hemisphere.
ObBook- E. Annie Proulx, _The Shipping News_
Jim Collier
Pinhead the Cenobite
(Joanna Prescott) wrote:
>On Thu, 20 May 1999 08:40:18 GMT, bi...@orla.demon.co.uk (Bill Oakey)
>wrote:
>
>>On Tue, 18 May 1999 21:27:54 GMT, in uk.misc
>>joa...@lotos-land.demon.co.uk (Joanna Prescott) wrote:
>>
>>>
>>>Is this true Bill? You don't like that ghastly Merkan TV series?
>>>
>>
>>
>>Is that Zena warrior princess?
>
>I believe so. Many of the scb chaps watch it.
The lonely ones I take it? The lesbians used to adore her too until
she made the transgression of getting married.
>> I sometimes have seen trailers for it
>>in the house of cinematographic projection, but beyond that I do not
>>watch television or read papers.
>
>I've only seen a trailer for it too, looked perfectly ghastly.
You are correct. Run, do not walk, away from this Temple of Schlock
that the yanks are trying to foist on you under the guise of
"entertainment". Unless, of course, you have a masochistic need to
inflict shallow plots, "camp" acting (although I shudder to call it
that), scripts that would make you cringe as terms such as "cool" and
"totally" are used in an alleged "time of Gods" upon yourself ad
nauseum.
However, if that kind of thing gets your nipples in a pleasant twist,
be my guest and fatten the wallets of it's producers, who will
thereafter make the erronious assumption that they are doing a "good
job", which will make them delusional to the point that they will make
more heaping helpings of schlock to force feed the public sheep they
so greatly love to grab by the arse and hoist into their wellies for a
little wink-wink, nudge-nudge...
>She doesn't look the type for golden showers, too muscle bound.
Actually, she looks rather stringy. Absolutely good for nothing more
than soup stock. No need to salt the water, the saline in the implants
will do quite nicely...
--
Got a foot and a half of unregistered steel,
Come on sis, we got a street to deal,
Got a Foot and a half of number nine shot,
To poke up your ass in the parking lot...
-Big Black: "Shotgun"
Pinhead the Cenobite
wrote:
>On Fri, 21 May 1999 07:32:11 GMT, in uk.misc Jim Collier
><ct...@home.com> wrote:
>>
>>Wanna bet? St-Pierre et Miquelon are a pair of islands
Good lord! A pair of *islands*? That's beeing a tad obtuse, don't you
think? I mean, hell, I've heard of saving face for you and yours and
all, but grasping at islands (as opposed to straws, mind you)...
>
>Correct, they were the only territory that the English let them keep
>in 1763
Terrible errors made in the past...
>I believe that they are the Acadians that one hears about
Correct.
>Quebecqois have the same right to claim that name.
Like hell they do. Say that to a *true* Acadian, and they'll likely
pop you in the snoot. The Quebec'ers are nothing more than the trailer
trash, poor-arsed cousins of *real* Frenchmen (who didn't want them
and constantly laugh at them especially when they try to use their
pathetic dialect of "French" in France), who think that they can get
by in life with liberal doses of snob appeal, elitism, xenophobia,
hysteria and a dash of B.O. which serves, for some unfathomable
reason, as the Quebecqois version of an aphrodesiac.
They're sad bastards, who think that they can separate, but haven't
the foggiest notion that they're like that no-good son you were glad
to see the back of. Oh, they'll come knocking on the door of the rest
of the Provinces forevermore, asking to borrow a little money whilst
using your facilities to do their laundry and perhaps raid the fridge,
but they'll always sod off in a huff at the end, screaming over their
poncy, froggy little Yves St. Laurent-clad shoulders how they'll never
talk to you again, whist counting the change they took from you and
wiping the remnants of the repast you provided on their grungy
sleeves. Oh, but to get them to go away for good, they wanna borrow
the keys to the car too, which they'll ask you to replace when they
drive it into the ground, all the while telling you how independant
and distinct they are...
They can go, and good riddance to 'em.
Pinhead the Cenobite
wrote:
>On Thu, 20 May 1999 14:49:52 GMT, in uk.misc
>pin...@NOSPAM.fuckyou.co.uk (Pinhead the Cenobite) wrote:
>>
>>Just thought I'd point out that the Quebeqouis *are* Canucks, you
>>bloody great tool. They just like to *think* they're different.
>>
><snip>
>
>Not necessarily so old chap.
Come live here, and you will form a *very* different opinion *very*
quickly, old bean. You'll long to run screaming back to your Isles and
the comfort of your steak & kidney pies (bought at the Marks & Sparks,
of course), with a side of mashed peas and hoisting a pint at the pub
afterwards and thinking that perhaps BBC 1, 2 & 3 really aren't that
bad after all.
Jim Collier
>
> On Fri, 21 May 1999 10:11:35 GMT, bi...@orla.demon.co.uk (Bill Oakey)
> wrote:
>
> >On Fri, 21 May 1999 07:32:11 GMT, in uk.misc Jim Collier
> ><ct...@home.com> wrote:
> >>
> >>Wanna bet? St-Pierre et Miquelon are a pair of islands
>
> Good lord! A pair of *islands*? That's beeing a tad obtuse, don't you
> think? I mean, hell, I've heard of saving face for you and yours and
> all, but grasping at islands (as opposed to straws, mind you)...
Doesn't have much to do with me.
It would be more correct to call them islets. They are maybe
five or ten miles long, on the order of Santa Catalina, the well
known island "26 miles across the sea" from San Pedro, Los Angeles.
> >
> >Correct, they were the only territory that the English let them keep
> >in 1763
>
> Terrible errors made in the past...
>
> >I believe that they are the Acadians that one hears about
>
> Correct.
No, the heart of Acadia is further south in Cape Breton at the
northern end of Nova Scotia. The Acadians came from there and
New Brunswick and PEI. They're not related to the Quebecers; nor are
New Brunswick's numerous Francophones generally connected with the
separatist movement in Canada.
> Like hell they do. Say that to a *true* Acadian, and they'll likely
> pop you in the snoot. The Quebec'ers are nothing more than the trailer
> trash, poor-arsed cousins of *real* Frenchmen (who didn't want them
> and constantly laugh at them especially when they try to use their
> pathetic dialect of "French" in France), who think that they can get
> by in life with liberal doses of snob appeal, elitism, xenophobia,
> hysteria and a dash of B.O. which serves, for some unfathomable
> reason, as the Quebecqois version of an aphrodesiac.
Another Brit who's never spent any appreciable time in North America.
Not to worry. There are plenty of Americans in this n.g. who
have strong opinions about European places they've never visited.
> They're sad bastards, who think that they can separate, but haven't
> the foggiest notion that they're like that no-good son you were glad
> to see the back of. Oh, they'll come knocking on the door of the rest
> of the Provinces forevermore, asking to borrow a little money whilst
Okay, that's all I have time for today.
Jim Collier