Mmmm...coffeecake!!
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An overweight business associate of mine decided it was timeto shed
some excess pounds. He took his new diet seriously, even changing his
driving route to avoid his favorite bakery. One morning, however, he
arrived at work carrying a gigantic coffeecake. We all scolded him, but
his smile remained cherubic.
"This is a very special coffeecake," he explained. " I accidentally
drove by the bakery this morning and there in the window were a host of
goodies. I felt this was no accident, so I prayed, 'Lord, if you want me
to have one of those delicious coffeecakes, let me have a parking place
directly in front of the bakery.'"
"And sure enough," he continued, "the eighth time around the block,
there it was!"
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Joe had asked Bob to help him out with the deck after work, so Bob just went
straight over to Joe's place. When they got to the door, Joe went straight
to his wife, gave her a hug and told her how beautiful she was and how much
he had missed her at work. When it was time for supper, he complimented his
wife on her cooking, kissed her and told her how much he loved her.
Once they were working on the deck, Bob told Joe that he was surprised that
he fussed so much over his wife. Joe said that he'd started this about 6
months ago, it had revived their marriage, and things couldn't be better.
Bob thought he'd give it a go. When he got home, he gave his wife a massive
hug, kissed her and told her that he loved her.
His wife burst into tears.
Bob was confused and asked why she was crying. She said, "This is the worst
day of my life. First, little Billy fell off his bike and twisted his
ankle. Then, the washing machine broke and flooded the basement. And
now,you come home drunk!"
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A white man, a black man and an Arab were standing around
bragging about the size of their families.
The white man boasted, "I have 4 boys and my wife is expecting
another--Five boys ... I will have a basketball team!"
The black man, not to be outdone, said, "That's
nothing! I have 10 boys now, and my wife is pregnant with another
son -- that will make 11... I will have a football team!!"
The Arab, looked at both of them and screamed out, "You both
should be ashamed of yourselves! I have 17 wives."
........."One more and I will have a golf course."
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I've got a new diet. I eat whatever I want, whenever I want, and as much
as I want. I'm not losing any weight, but it's really easy to stick to.
I've started an exercise program, too. I do 20 sit-ups each morning.
That may not sound like a lot, but you can only hit that snooze button so
many times.
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