i need polish jokes
andrew
i need polish jokes.
mcgyver
andrew <smu...@ix.netcom.com> wrote:
>i need polish jokes.
Why did the Polish library close?
-somebody stole the book
Why are there no ice cubes in Poland?
-they lost the recipe
Why does the New Polish Navy have glass-bottom boats?
-so they can look at the old Polish Navy
Fred
Why do the Italians put their garbage in clear plastic bags????
So the Polish kids can window shop on the way to school.
What's the most dangerous job in Pole-town????
Driving the garbage truck.......
Fred
James McKinley
How do you tell the bride at a Polish wedding?
Braided armpits
How do you tell the groom?
His bowling shirt is clean.
--
=========================================================================
Please don't tell my family I surf the net. They think I play piano in a
whorehouse.
=========================================================================
Fred
Why do they keep a bucket of cow dung at a polish wedding???
A. to keep the flies off of the bride
What do the poles call the plastic connector on the top of a six pack of
beer?
A. a polish brazzier
How about a Finn lander yoke???
Arnie and Toivo were brothers. Arnie's wife was pregnant and he had to
go to the city on business. Arnie called Toi over and said, "bother, I
have to go to the city and you know the Helena is pregnant. If she has to
go to the hopital when I am gone will you take her?" "sure said Toi, if
I do will you let me name the baby??" Arnie said "sure brother, if the
baby is born when I am gone you can name it." Sure enough, Arnie had no
sooner left town when Helena called Toivo and said she knew it was time.
So Toivo took her to the hospital where she had twins, a boy and a girl.
When Arnie got back to town he asked Toivo what he had named the twins.
"Well" says Toinvo, " I named the girl Denice." "Oh" says Arnie, "such a
beautiful name. And what did you name the boy??" "Da Nephew" says Toivo.
Fred
Keep smiling and you will drive the rest of the world nuts wondering what
you are up to.
David A Stewart
Why couldn't the pollack have sex?
He kept waiting for the swelling to go down.
James McKinley
10...@mbay.net (David A Stewart) wrote:
>
>Why couldn't the pollack have sex?
>
>
>He kept waiting for the swelling to go down.
A bored Polock was reading one of his wife's magazines, a story about
sexual relations.
"Honey, do we have sexual relations?" he asks.
"Of course we do" she replies
"Then how come we don't get Christmas cards from them?"
January Weiner
James McKinley wrote:
: A bored Polock was reading one of his wife's magazines, a story about
: "Honey, do we have sexual relations?" he asks.
: "Of course we do" she replies
: "Then how come we don't get Christmas cards from them?"
They've found 12657 bodies...
You know why there are 3 bridges in Warsow?
The third time they've found the river...
An American, a German and a Polack were on a trip in Papua - New Guinea
jungle, and got caught by a canibal tribe.
The canibals take the American to the chief.
- Where you from?
- USA.
- Hmmm... we make hamburgers.
They take the German.
- Where you from?
- Deutschland.
- Hmmm... we make Wurst!
They take the Polack.
- Where you from?
- Polska.
- Hmm... ah, that poor country, communists, eat garbage, yes? Come eat
with us, we have hamburgers and Wurst!
--
-----)-\\/-///----------------------------------January-Weiner-3----
Mieux vaut se taire et paraitre intelligent qu'ouvrir la bouche
et lever tout doute.
http://www.if.uj.edu.pl/~uxjweine
http://www.if.uj.edu.pl/misc/PRZYRODA Czytaj "Przyrode"!
CloverGuy
Did you hear Poland just bought 5,000 septic tanks?
As soon as they learn how to drive them, they're going to invade Germany.
Why is a Polish woman like a hockey goalie?
They both change their pads after three periods.
Two of my fav
Ian Cullen
How do you get a polish girl pregnant?
Spunk on her shoes and let the flies do the rest!
Lawrence Harrison
Q. Why did the Polish airliner crash?
A. It ran out of coal.
Q. How can you tell a Polish airplane from all others?
A: Just look for hair under the wings.
Bill
How do you get three Pollacks off of your couch?
Jerk one off, and the other two come.
Fast Eddie
What did the cannibal do when he captured a Polish woman?
He put an apple in her mouth and had a luau.
Michael Carmody
Fast Eddie <e...@interlog.com> writes:
>What did the cannibal do when he captured a Polish woman?
>He put an apple in her mouth and had a luau.
How do you sink a polish battleship??
Put it in the water.
Anita
Q: Why do young Polish girls put fish in their panties?
A: To smell like Polish women.
J. Calbreath
another really old one...???
What's the difference between a bowling ball and a polish girl??
If you really really had to you could eat the bowling ball..
HarHarHar
mea...@ibm.net
My favorite Polish joke:
A Pole immigrates to the US. Eager to fit in to his new country, he takes a night
class in English and works especially on his pronunciation. After graduation, he
walks into a store and says in perfect, no-accent English: "I would like some milk
and some eggs." Whereupon the store owner responds: "Oh, you must be from
Poland." Flabbergasted, the Pole asks: "How do you know? Did I not say the words
correctly?" "Oh, you said them correctly." the store owner says, "But this is a
hardware store."
Gerald F. Meazell
Dallas, Texas
-----------------------------------------------------------
"The one I kiss will be your man." - Judas Iscariot, 33 A.D.
"I am loyal to the United States." - Benedict Arnold, 1776
"OS/2 will be the platform of the 90's." - Bill Gates, 1989
--
Microsoft Network is prohibited from redistributing this work in any
form, in whole or in part. Copyright, Gerald F. Meazell, 1996.
License to distribute this post is available to Microsoft for US$1,000,
or equivalent local currency. Posting without permission constitutes
an agreement to these terms. Please send notices of violation to
mea...@ibm.net and Postm...@microsoft.com
SS-uper-man
mea...@ibm.net wrote:
>My favorite Polish joke:
Dear Jew !!!!!!!!
What is brown and comes out of sheep's ass?
MEAZELL S' DICK
What is white and comes out of sheep' cunt?
Son of MR Meazell !!!!!
You all feell free to distribute this one .
----------------------------------------- GOD BLESS AMERICA AND CANADA
I will post it again soon for GERALD MEAZELL DALLAS TEXAS
Perhaps you know him- poor baby
This animal is very bad when attacked defends itself
Jesus' Animal & E-xxx-Fiance & few good men
Do you still wanna fuck my sister Mr Meazell or you have enough
That is THE BEGINING . Sue me Jew me or forget it Your choice
If i called wrong number how come you answer the phone.
One more thing Mr JEW MEAZELL -----
Let the polish Dog to ...... your wife/sheep/
It feels so good....
Sincerly Yours
Jesus' Animal
E-xxx-Fiance
YourSShadow
SS-uper-man
Polish Beast
Tommy the Ricochet
& few good men
Do not thank me.......yet
more is on the way Bye for now
SS-uper-man
to...@intergate.bc.ca (SS-uper-man) wrote:
There is sucker born every minute
Mr Meazell is one of them
He wants your money
Jew is back in our newsgroup
I will give you a 1000
if you leave us alone
Mr meazell is either braindead or his watch has stopped........or
both ------ YourSShadow and meaningless others
Have you ever used meazell margarine?
Its much better than lotion.
E-XXX-Fiance
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
>>Gerald F. Meazell
>>Dallas, Texas
>>-----------------------------------------------------------
¤¤¤Chaz¤¤¤
YOU NEED SOME SERIOUS HELP BUDDY!!!!!!!
SS-uper-man <to...@intergate.bc.ca> wrote in article
<529e78$7...@carrera.intergate.bc.ca>...
>
> >
> >
> >++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
> >>>Gerald F. Meazell
> >>>Dallas, Texas
>
> Even if mr meazell is 10 inches long
> he still has to grow up and fight like a man
>
> Why you spreading that shit?
> Spread your wallet and give to the poor
> 1000$ for a joke
> Am i really worth so much?
> You can make more
> Sue me Jew me motherfucker
> Polish Beast & international friends
>
> All your fears and pain-mr meazell- the garden spade will cure
> Avoid me at all cost..............SS-uper-man........
>
> How much your mother cost?mr meazell
> 1000$ for a joke.999$ for a mother?
> She must be proud of you
> You are black sheep in your jewish family or
> black jew in sheep family
>
> I apologise to all good jews
> I shouldnt judge the book from its cover/ mr meazell/
> Forgive me all good people/whoever you may be/
> How many languages do you speak mr meazell?
> Two english &
> be,be,be,be,be- sheep language
>
> We are all immortal till
> death+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
> Fuck mr meazell and all gready ''people''
> I will give you 999 -so what- are you
> selling her?
>
> GOD BLESS GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> >>
> >>
> >>
> > .
> >> Sincerly Yours
> >> Jesus' Animal
> >>
> >> SS-uper-man
SS-uper-man
mea...@ibm.net
In <52764c$a...@carrera.intergate.bc.ca>, to...@intergate.bc.ca (SS-uper-man) writes:
>to...@intergate.bc.ca (SS-uper-man) wrote:
[a bunch of shit]
>
>
Somebody's not taking this group in the spirit it was intended. I didn't know there
were Pole-loving Nazis in British Columbia (Yo! SS-｜er-man! That was a
double entendre in case you didn't notice).
Gerald F. Meazell
Dallas, Texas
RobinMist
Q: How did the Polish Ice Hockey team die?
A: They drowned at spring training.
Q: How did the Pollack break his arm raking leaves?
A: He fell out of the tree.
Marcus Rosén
RobinMist wrote:
> =
> Q: How did the Polish Ice Hockey team die?
> =
> A: They drowned at spring training.
> =
> Q: How did the Pollack break his arm raking leaves?
> =
> A: He fell out of the tree.
Q: Why are the birds flying uppsideown over Poland?
A: They don=B4t wanna se the shit.
Q: How do you sink A Polish sub.
A: Knock on the top and they open the door.
Q: How do you sink the Polish sub A second time?
A: Knock again. They will open and answer. - We don=B4t fall for that =
again.
mea...@ibm.net
In <324AF4...@algonet.se>, Marcus Ros=?iso-8859-1?Q?=E9?=n <mro...@algonet.se> writes:
>Q: Why are the birds flying uppsideown over Poland?
>
>A: They don=B4t wanna se the shit.
>
>Q: How do you sink A Polish sub.
>
>A: Knock on the top and they open the door.
>
>Q: How do you sink the Polish sub A second time?
>
>A: Knock again. They will open and answer. - We don=B4t fall for that =
>
>again.
A. Put it in the water.
Q. How do you know when a Polish woman is on her period?
A. She's only wearing one sock.
<< Hey, ｜erman, how ya doin'? Long time no hear. Guess those killfiles I set up
for you are working. Heh, heh, heh.>>