Stevie Wonder jokes...

[Glen]

Q:Did you hear what Stevie Wonder's mother gave him for his birthday?

A:A cheese-grater, and he wreckons it's the most violent book he's ever
read!!!!

Anyone know anymore stevie wonder/blind jokes?????

[Eccles the Dragon]

In article <25bn4h...@sheoak.ucnv.edu.au> i93...@redgum.ucnv.edu.au (Glen) writes:

>Anyone know anymore stevie wonder/blind jokes?????

What does S.W.'s mother do when he's being bad?

Puts sand in his brail

What does she do when he's really bad?

Rearranges the furniture

[Monika Pandey]

Why does Stevie Wonder keep on moving his head sideways while singing?

He doesnt know where the Mike is...!

Have u seen stevie Wonders car?

Dont worry, neither has he...

[Phil Koay]

i93...@redgum.ucnv.edu.au (Glen) writes:

Q: Why does steve wonder smile?

A: He doesn't know he's black.

[cameron ing]

i93...@redgum.ucnv.edu.au (Glen) writes:
: Q:Did you hear what Stevie Wonder's mother gave him for his birthday?

:
: A:A cheese-grater, and he wreckons it's the most violent book he's ever
: read!!!!
:
: Anyone know anymore stevie wonder/blind jokes?????

This one is as old as the hills, but it's still a goodie:

What do you call Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles playing tennis??????

Endless love.

Cameron Ing

Internet: t921...@arcadia.cs.rmit.edu.au

[Dazza]

Stevie Wonder was looking around in a department store ...

The assistant comes up top him and says "Can I help you ?"

Stevie replies "No thanks ...just looking"

[Imthorn JA]

One with a beard:

Q: Why is he named 'Stevie Wonder'?

A: 'I wonder what *this* is.... I wonder what *this* is...'

[zcoo...@cc.curtin.edu.au]

I heard that one as:

Stevie Wonder was wandering through Coles smacking things off the
shelves with his cane.

A very worried shop assistant, not wanting to upset such an important
customer, meekly approaches him and asks "Can I help you sir ?"

Stevie replies "No thanks ...just looking"

...BRU

[chris hickie]

In article <1993Aug26...@cc.curtin.edu.au>,

zcoo...@cc.curtin.edu.au wrote:
>
> I heard that one as:
>
> Stevie Wonder was wandering through Coles smacking things off the
> shelves with his cane.
> A very worried shop assistant, not wanting to upset such an important
> customer, meekly approaches him and asks "Can I help you sir ?"
> Stevie replies "No thanks ...just looking"

The version I saw on a card had a blind man twirling his seeing eye
dog around in the air by the tail. When asked by the manager if
he needed any assistance, he replied "no, just having a look around"

Chris

[teka...@nx13.mik.uky.edu]

>Anyone know anymore stevie wonder/blind jokes?????

A reporter once asked Stevie Wonder what is was like being born blind. He
replied, "It could have been worse. I could have been born black."

[Santiago Arteaga]

>Q: Why does steve wonder smile?
>A: He doesn't know he's black.

Why does he move his head right and left while singing ?
He smells a black guy, but can't say where he is.

Lonely Vicious Feed the worms,
kill a politically correct bastard.

[LIO...@weizmann.weizmann.ac.il]

In article <dlyon.7...@citadel.cit.gu.edu.au>
dl...@gucis.cit.gu.edu.au (Dazza) writes:

No no no no no!! wrong beginning! Should have been:
SW walks into a dept. store, picks his dog up by te tail and starts whirling
it around him...

[MR GB SURTEES]

In article <25rv3h$e...@lanczos.cs.umd.edu> art...@cs.umd.edu (Santiago Arteaga) writes:
>From: art...@cs.umd.edu (Santiago Arteaga)
>Subject: Re: Stevie Wonder jokes...
>Date: 30 Aug 1993 00:18:57 -0400

>>Q: Why does steve wonder smile?
>>A: He doesn't know he's black.
>
> Why does he move his head right and left while singing ?
> He smells a black guy, but can't say where he is.
>

OR : He's trying to find the mike!
(yes it's old okay!)

[Chief Weasel]

Or my personal favorite:

Q: What's the definition of endless love?
a: Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles playing tennis.
--
....................................
: _\| /\ |/_ T.J. Harrell III : "Hey, man, is that 'Freedom Rock?'
: \/ \/ P.O. Box 4334 :
: / \ Las Cruces NM 88003 :
: /________\ wea...@acca.nmsu.edu : I'm the NRA.
:..................................:

[jmw...@gmail.com]

Stevie Wonder is playing his first gig in China and the place is packed to the rafters.

In a bid to break the ice he asks if anyone has a request.
One chap jumps out of his seat in the 1st row and shouts at the top of his voice "Play a jazz chord ! Play a jazz chord!"

Amazed that this guy knows about the jazz influences in Stevie's career, the blind impresario starts to play an E minor scale and then goes into a difficult jazz melody for about 10 minutes. When he finishes the whole place goes wild.

The chap jumps out of his seat again and shouts - "No, no, play a jazz chord, play a jazz chord...".

A bit cheesed off by this, Stevie, being the professional he is, dives straight in to a jazz improvisation with his band around the B flat minor chord and really tears the place apart. The crowd go ballistic with this impromptu show of his musical expertise. But, still the little Chinese man jumps up again and shouts "No, no. Play a jazz chord, play a jazz chord!!!".

Stevie is really peed off now that this chap doesn't seem to appreciate his playing ability and shouts to him from the stage -
"OK smart ass, you get up here and do it"..

The little bloke climbs onto the stage, takes the mic and starts to sing............

"a jazz chord to say , I ruv you...."

[Ṃᴆ]

On 2/3/2018 9:28 AM, jmw...@gmail.com wrote:

> <snip> ..chap.. ..cheesed.. ..bloke.. </snip>

fuckin' limeys

[Ṃᴆ]

On 2/21/2018 10:53 AM, i.m....@aol.com wrote:

> Not lately.

they've done it to themselves allowing all those muzzgrunt 'victims' to
cross the channel

I'd blow up the tunnel the next time the bulk of 'em head to mecca and
use the leftovers for target practice, maybe keeping a few hundred
around to shackle, GPS/electric shock-collar, and ceaselessly whip as slaves

[Ṃᴆ]

On 3/11/2018 10:30 AM, i.m....@aol.com wrote:

> On Mon, 26 Feb 2018 10:25:15 -0700, ??
> <mAd...@pNeUmAtIcFlAtRiVeTjAcKhAmMeR.cOm> wrote:

>>>>> <snip> ..chap.. ..cheesed.. ..bloke.. </snip>
>>>>
>>>> fuckin' limeys
>>>
>>> Not lately.
>>
>> they've done it to themselves allowing all those muzzgrunt
>> 'victims' to cross the channel
>>
>> I'd blow up the tunnel the next time the bulk of 'em head to mecca
>> and use the leftovers for target practice, maybe keeping a few
>> hundred around to shackle, GPS/electric shock-collar, and
>> ceaselessly whip as slaves
>

> Can do that with the limeys, too.
>
> I've never understood the do-gooders urge to protect idjits from
> their own stupidity, and jumping on a train through the chunnel
> certainly qualifies as stupid. Who really gives a rat's ass if they
> wind up as grease spots on the tracks?

I'm to the point, they can have the entire EU

we could use the conventional and nuclear bombs' testing grounds

[Ṃᴆ]

On 5/1/2018 8:13 PM, i.m....@aol.com wrote:

> On Thu, 29 Mar 2018 23:51:18 -0600, ??

> I gotta admit, I kinda like the Eyeties. They're so messed up they
> provide good comic relief. And the Mafia is always fun.

they could redeem the hell outta themselves by taking out ISIS the old
fashioned way

[Ṃᴆ]

On 5/26/2018 9:01 PM, i.m....@aol.com wrote:

> On Sun, 6 May 2018 10:37:41 -0600, ??
> <mAd...@pNeUmAtIcFlAtRiVeTjAcKhAmMeR.cOm> wrote:

>>>>> I've never understood the do-gooders urge to protect idjits
>>>>> from their own stupidity, and jumping on a train through the
>>>>> chunnel certainly qualifies as stupid. Who really gives a
>>>>> rat's ass if they wind up as grease spots on the tracks?
>>>>
>>>> I'm to the point, they can have the entire EU
>>>>
>>>> we could use the conventional and nuclear bombs' testing
>>>> grounds
>>>
>>> I gotta admit, I kinda like the Eyeties. They're so messed up
>>> they provide good comic relief. And the Mafia is always fun.
>>
>> they could redeem the hell outta themselves by taking out ISIS the
>> old fashioned way
>

> MICHAEL CORLEONE FOR PRESIDENT!

He needs to replace Sessions as AG, first.. the Corleones know a thing
or two about swamp draining

[Ṃᴆ]

On 7/17/2018 10:13 AM, i.m....@aol.com wrote:

> Not to mention land fill materiel. And he doesn't need to replace
> Sessions, he needs to replace Putin.

He's too busy playing Putin's ego up so he'll start supporting the
denuking of Iran along with the DPRK and getting them out of Syria.
Putin's happy to be in the international spotlight again and doesn't
notice Trumps fist up his ass while still falling under some of the
toughest US sanctions in history. That, and he's helping to blow Hillary
out of the water with that $400M illegal campaign donation reveal.

[Ṃᴆ]

On 7/26/2018 6:35 PM, i.m....@aol.com wrote:

> On Thu, 19 Jul 2018 10:15:58 -0600, ??

> Well, that sure went nowhere fast. That's okay, I'm sure he'll twit
> some bombast again tomorrow.

Sessions is sitting on over 13,000 indictments and is waiting for Trump
to give him the green light. My guess is he'll wait 'til about a month
before the '18 elections.

[Ṃᴆ]

On 7/30/2018 7:01 PM, i.m....@aol.com wrote:

> On Fri, 27 Jul 2018 17:08:37 -0600, ??
> <mAd...@pNeUmAtIcFlAtRiVeTjAcKhAmMeR.cOm> wrote:

>>>>>>> MICHAEL CORLEONE FOR PRESIDENT!
>>>>>>
>>>>>> He needs to replace Sessions as AG, first.. the Corleones
>>>>>> know a thing or two about swamp draining
>>>>>
>>>>> Not to mention land fill materiel. And he doesn't need to
>>>>> replace Sessions, he needs to replace Putin.
>>>>
>>>> He's too busy playing Putin's ego up so he'll start supporting
>>>> the denuking of Iran along with the DPRK and getting them out
>>>> of Syria. Putin's happy to be in the international spotlight
>>>> again and doesn't notice Trumps fist up his ass while still
>>>> falling under some of the toughest US sanctions in history.
>>>> That, and he's helping to blow Hillary out of the water with
>>>> that $400M illegal campaign donation reveal.
>>>
>>> Well, that sure went nowhere fast. That's okay, I'm sure he'll
>>> twit some bombast again tomorrow.
>>
>> Sessions is sitting on over 13,000 indictments and is waiting for
>> Trump to give him the green light. My guess is he'll wait 'til
>> about a month before the '18 elections.
>

> No, he won't want his cronies being indicted until _after_ the
> election.

that's risking a Dem majority in the House.. big risk

[Ṃᴆ]

On 8/3/2018 10:08 AM, i.m....@aol.com wrote:

> On Tue, 31 Jul 2018 11:23:59 -0600, ??

> 13,000 Trump cronies being indicted just before the election would
> _guarantee_ the Dem majority.

ignored the silly assumption of their being his 'cronies'.. they're
Obama era indictments that normally -would- guarantee a Dem majority,
but in this case will likely guarantee a few dozen pussy-hat marches or
a couple SUVs taking out crosswalk traffic in Vegas

[Ṃᴆ]

On 8/4/2018 6:39 PM, i.m....@aol.com wrote:

> On Fri, 3 Aug 2018 13:42:03 -0600, ??
> <mAd...@pNeUmAtIcFlAtRiVeTjAcKhAmMeR.cOm> wrote:

>>>>>> Sessions is sitting on over 13,000 indictments and is
>>>>>> waiting for Trump to give him the green light. My guess is
>>>>>> he'll wait 'til about a month before the '18 elections.
>>>>>
>>>>> No, he won't want his cronies being indicted until _after_
>>>>> the election.
>>>>
>>>> that's risking a Dem majority in the House.. big risk
>>>
>>> 13,000 Trump cronies being indicted just before the election
>>> would _guarantee_ the Dem majority.
>>
>> ignored the silly assumption of their being his 'cronies'..
>> they're Obama era indictments that normally -would- guarantee a Dem
>> majority, but in this case will likely guarantee a few dozen
>> pussy-hat marches or a couple SUVs taking out crosswalk traffic in
>> Vegas
>

> Yeah, Trumps cronies either quit or get fired. Damn, I wish the
> Libertarian had won.

Lyndon B. was enough Johnsons and Gary was a complete imbecile:

https://youtu.be/x25eNZSrYgE

[Ṃᴆ]

On 8/5/2018 7:39 PM, i.m....@aol.com wrote:

> On Sun, 5 Aug 2018 00:29:09 -0600, ??

> <shrug> So we have an asshole/imbecile combo. That isn't an
> improvement.

at least now I can blame it on the Google news aggregator.. those
blinders of yours

[Ṃᴆ]

On 8/7/2018 8:03 PM, i.m....@aol.com wrote:

> On Mon, 6 Aug 2018 12:03:51 -0600, ??

> I just don't enjoy having an asshole in the White House.

it's all a reaction to everyone attacking him

he could cure cancer and the MSM'd say it was just to rob pharmaceuticals

[Ṃᴆ]

On 8/12/2018 6:57 PM, i.m....@aol.com wrote:

> On Fri, 10 Aug 2018 00:02:34 -0600, ??
> <mAd...@pNeUmAtIcFlAtRiVeTjAcKhAmMeR.cOm> wrote:

>>>> at least now I can blame it on the Google news aggregator.. those
>>>> blinders of yours
>>>
>>> I just don't enjoy having an asshole in the White House.
>>
>> it's all a reaction to everyone attacking him
>>
>> he could cure cancer and the MSM'd say it was just to rob pharmaceuticals
>

> If you think back to the '16 campaign, I said right along I thought he
> is an asshole. I had that reaction when he started showing up in the
> 'look at me!' gossip rags over 40 years ago.

I for one can appreciate the unwarranted bombast and cerebral bloat

[Ṃᴆ]

On 8/22/2018 8:29 PM, i.m....@aol.com wrote:

> On Sun, 19 Aug 2018 18:49:22 -0600, ??

> <mAd...@pNeUmAtIcFlAtRiVeTjAcKhAmMeR.cOm> wrote:

>>>>>> at least now I can blame it on the Google news aggregator..
>>>>>> those blinders of yours
>>>>>
>>>>> I just don't enjoy having an asshole in the White House.
>>>>
>>>> it's all a reaction to everyone attacking him
>>>>
>>>> he could cure cancer and the MSM'd say it was just to rob
>>>> pharmaceuticals
>>>
>>> If you think back to the '16 campaign, I said right along I
>>> thought he is an asshole. I had that reaction when he started
>>> showing up in the 'look at me!' gossip rags over 40 years ago.
>>
>> I for one can appreciate the unwarranted bombast and cerebral
>> bloat
>

> 'Cerebral bloat' being another way of saying 'shit fer brains.'

no shit anywhere's packed as tightly with conservative / anti-globalist
/ America-first rapid-firing neurons

[Ṃᴆ]

On 9/6/2018 8:37 PM, i.m....@aol.com wrote:

> On Sat, 25 Aug 2018 15:48:35 -0600, ??

> Constipation is _not_ a virtue.

explains Hillary's addiction to Ex-Lax

[Ṃᴆ]

On 9/16/2018 7:47 AM, i.m....@aol.com wrote:

> On Thu, 13 Sep 2018 10:42:30 -0600, ??
> <mAd...@pNeUmAtIcFlAtRiVeTjAcKhAmMeR.cOm> wrote:

>>>>>> I for one can appreciate the unwarranted bombast and
>>>>>> cerebral bloat
>>>>>
>>>>> 'Cerebral bloat' being another way of saying 'shit fer
>>>>> brains.'
>>>>
>>>> no shit anywhere's packed as tightly with conservative /
>>>> anti-globalist / America-first rapid-firing neurons
>>>
>>> Constipation is _not_ a virtue.
>>
>> explains Hillary's addiction to Ex-Lax
>

> She doesn't need Ex-Lax, she's a natural producer.

and would've been producing for a stainless steel bowl in GTMO if the
Dems hadn't stolen the House by wiping out all those homes with the DEW
satellite and empowering Snipes in FL to once again pull the mainstream
media's attention to something other than CA ballot returns

https://youtu.be/joTq9Z-oqQg

[cowart...@gmail.com]

Santa tells SW he’s going to bring him a sweater for Xmas, SW replies he’d rather have a screamer or a moaner.