Geologist jokes needed
Bruce Wells
My sister is marrying a Geologist, and jokes would be appreciated.
OB Joke: See "A visual male sex joke" posted to this group.
bkw...@ibm.net (Bruce Wells) Aweful software has a name, Microsoft!
a...@aber.ac.uk
In article <awb.69....@aber.ac.uk> a...@aber.ac.uk writes:
>From: a...@aber.ac.uk
>Subject: Re: Geologist jokes needed
>Date: Tue, 18 Jun 1996 15:14:36 UNDEFINED
>In article <4q568l$3j...@news-s01.ny.us.ibm.net> bkw...@ibm.net (Bruce Wells)
>writes:
>>From: bkw...@ibm.net (Bruce Wells)
>>Subject: Geologist jokes needed
>>Date: 18 Jun 1996 03:02:45 GMT
>>My sister is marrying a Geologist, and jokes would be appreciated.
How can you tell which guy is the Geologist on an oil-rig?
He is the one throwing bread to the Helicopters.
What's a Geologists best contraceptive?
His personality
a...@aber.ac.uk
In article <4q568l$3j...@news-s01.ny.us.ibm.net> bkw...@ibm.net (Bruce Wells) writes:
>From: bkw...@ibm.net (Bruce Wells)
>Subject: Geologist jokes needed
>Date: 18 Jun 1996 03:02:45 GMT
>My sister is marrying a Geologist, and jokes would be appreciated.
Geology......that's rock boring.
This space intentionally left blank
>My sister is marrying a Geologist, and jokes would be appreciated.
Well, one of 'em sure has rocks in their head!
Is he a spelunker too? Ask him if he knows where that word comes from.
(It's from the sound made when a geo-proctologist (cave explorer) falls off a
drop into an ice cold pool in pitch darkness...SPELUNK!).
-- Mike "at least he'll know how that 'earth moved' thing works" Bartman --
==============================================================================
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| what you thought you read. Statistics show that this whole thing is more |
| than likely just a hideous misunderstanding. |
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Trees hit cars only in self-defence.
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pcsd...@ipnet.ins.gu.edu.au
>My sister is marrying a Geologist, and jokes would be appreciated.
Has she got rocks in her head?
Chuck Stoup
pcsd...@ipnet.ins.gu.edu.au wrote:
>
> >My sister is marrying a Geologist, and jokes would be appreciated.
>
> Has she got rocks in her head?
No I think she's stoned.
OK, what do you want at the sperm of the moment?
Timo Salmi
In article <4q568l$3j...@news-s01.ny.us.ibm.net>,
Bruce Wells <bkw...@ibm.net> wrote:
:My sister is marrying a Geologist, and jokes would be appreciated.
She's gotta be stoned!
All the best, Timo (aka Professor Pundit in rec.humor)
....................................................................
Prof. Timo Salmi Co-moderator of news:comp.archives.msdos.announce
Moderating at ftp:// & http://garbo.uwasa.fi archives 193.166.120.5
Department of Accounting and Business Finance ; University of Vaasa
t...@uwasa.fi http://uwasa.fi/~ts BBS 961-3170972; FIN-65101, Finland
Chris Bolton
pcsd...@ipnet.ins.gu.edu.au wrote:
>>My sister is marrying a Geologist, and jokes would be appreciated.
>Has she got rocks in her head?
See if her engagement ring is really quartz.
Too bad she's not marrying a seismologist, they'll hit 6.3 on their
wedding night. Through no "fault" of her own BTW.
Chris Bolton
Those who cherish freedom do not need to flame those who don't, we
can, though, through questions and logic help them to self-immolate.
chr...@terrestrial.com (E-Mail)
http://www.terrestrial.com/~chrisb/ (Home Page URL)
John Griffin
In article <4qfj3i$6...@rush.terrestrial.com>,
>>>My sister is marrying a Geologist, and jokes would be appreciated.
>>Has she got rocks in her head?
>See if her engagement ring is really quartz.
>Too bad she's not marrying a seismologist, they'll hit 6.3 on their
>wedding night. Through no "fault" of her own BTW.
That wasn't gneiss.
Guy Serbin
t...@reimari.uwasa.fi (Timo Salmi) wrote:
>In article <4q568l$3j...@news-s01.ny.us.ibm.net>,
>Bruce Wells <bkw...@ibm.net> wrote:
>:My sister is marrying a Geologist, and jokes would be appreciated.
>She's gotta be stoned!
> All the best, Timo (aka Professor Pundit in rec.humor)
Add in these:
Schist happens.
Tell her to have a gneiss day.
Whatever you do, don't take him for granite.
And lastly, may the quartz be with you!
Guy Serbin
Purveyor of Poor Petrographic Puns
http://www.bgu.ac.il/geol/serbin
Yuval Yaron
ser...@bgumail.bgu.ac.il (Guy Serbin) wrote:
>Add in these:
>
>Schist happens.
>
>Tell her to have a gneiss day.
>
>Whatever you do, don't take him for granite.
>
>And lastly, may the quartz be with you!
>
My favoritre actor is Marl Brando.
I've lost my apatite.
That's the rudist joke I've ever heard.
My car is an opal.
Michael Britton
I guess she'll be able to help him get his rocks off.
Robin Goodfellow &8-D
--
Mike Britton || 2+2=5 for extremely large values of 2.
B.Eng. (Elect., Mgmt. Con.,|| C:\> File not found. Fake it? (Y/N)
High Dist.), Carleton U. || SENILE.COM Found. Out of Memory.
par...@engsoc.carleton.ca || (A)bort, (R)etry, (T)ake down entire network?
Mayer, JJ
>My sister is marrying a Geologist, and jokes would be appreciated.
>OB Joke: See "A visual male sex joke" posted to this group.
>bkw...@ibm.net (Bruce Wells) Aweful software has a name, Microsoft!
If you squeeze a rock hard enough it will pass water...
кФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФП
ГАБВ URL: http://www.puk.ac.za ВБАГ
Joe Mayer * Division of Geology - Potchefstroom University * South Africa
РФФФФФФФФФ e-Mail:plb...@puknet.puk.ac.za ФФФФФФФФФФй
kashg...@llnl.gov
Is that a belemnite in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?
(HAR HAR HAR!)
Andrew Roach
>My sister is marrying a Geologist, and jokes would be appreciated.
A man goes into a restaruant, sits down and starts reading the menu. The menu
says:
Broiled Accountant $5.95 per plate
Fried Engineer $7.95 per plate
Toasted Teacher $7.95 per plate
Grilled Geologist $25.95 per plate
The man calls a waiter over and asks "Hey, why does the Grilled Geologist cost
so much more?"
The waiter says, " Are you kidding? Do you know how hard it is
to clean one of them?!?!"
Robert Kelly
In article <aroach.10...@bluesky.net.au>, aro...@bluesky.net.au says...
Likewise the next week he went into another resturant, sits down and start reading the menu.
The menu says:
Accountant Brains $9.95 per serving (6 oz.)
Engineer Brains $10.95 per serving (6 oz.)
Teacher Brains $10.95 per serving (6 oz.)
Geologist Brains $99.95 per serving (1 oz.)
The man asks the waiter what makes the Geologist brains so special that they are so much
more expensive.
The waiter replies, nothing really, they taste the same, but do you have any idea how many
geologists is takes to find an ounce of brains?
Larry Guros
>Bruce Wells <bkw...@ibm.net> wrote:
>:My sister is marrying a Geologist, and jokes would be appreciated.
You should take her aside and warn her that
"Geologists have their faults".
--
+--------------------------------------------------------------------+
| Larry Guros Oracle NEDC Rdb Engineering |
| (603) 881-2581 110 Spit Brook Rd. ZKO2-1/O19|
| lgu...@us.oracle.com Nashua, NH 03062 |
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| The statements and opinions expressed here are my own and |
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+--------------------------------------------------------------------+
Karim Awenat
> >Schist happens.
>
> >Tell her to have a gneiss day.
>
> >Whatever you do, don't take him for granite.
>
> >And lastly, may the quartz be with you!
> Biotite gneiss girl and you'll be cummingtonite in quartz....
after the Cummingtonite joke you can add in all sorts of variations.
Me and a friend did a spoof lecture on the structual features of an
island (which just happened to look like a naked woman but we didn't
reveal the whole pic till the end) I can't remember all the jokes but
there was a guy with photoactive glasses and the jokes included...
reactolite, which is disastrous in contact with Strobelite,
bicyclite and trafficlite. I can't remember the others but I'll post
any that I do!
Kazza
Karim Awenat
> reactolite, which is disastrous in contact with Strobelite,
> bicyclite and trafficlite. I can't remember the others but I'll post
> any that I do!
>
> Kazza
from a geologist:-
Well, I can't think of any jokes off the top of my head (nor indeed
out of my arse), but do you know there's a mineral called
clinojimthompsonite? I suppose you could invent a whole family of
them...
There's g'day brucite (real)
brookite, presumably a mineralogical soap opera
witherite attitude you can go far
a secret limonite drinker
pectolite, or Dickie Dale
arfvedsonite, which I particularly like
nosean and hauyne are just silly.
See how much childish fun can be had out of a copy of DHZ! Not just
there for the nasty things in life (like undergraduates).
Chris
Kazza
Check out Joke of the week:-
http://users.ox.ac.uk/~trin0170/
Andreas Maffenbeier[Inf]
>My sister is marrying a Geologist, and jokes would be appreciated.
Geologists like it on the rocks.
Andy
-----
Andreas Maffenbeier
University of Kaiserslautern, Germany
maff...@alma.student.uni-kl.de
a_ma...@informatik.uni-kl.de
Murphy's Law is not recursive -
washing your car to make it rain does not work.
rg
>(HAR HAR HAR!)
You could warn her that "The more you try to be gneiss, the more you
get taken for granite"
Earthquake Girl
>ser...@bgumail.bgu.ac.il (Guy Serbin) wrote:
>>Add in these:
>>Tell her to have a gneiss day.
>>Whatever you do, don't take him for granite.
>>And lastly, may the quartz be with you!
>
>My favoritre actor is Marl Brando.
>
>I've lost my apatite.
>
>That's the rudist joke I've ever heard.
>
>My car is an opal.
I stole this one off a tee-shirt from a guy I went through
field camp with (it's been my .sig for about a year and a half
now :-) :
--
Folds, thrusts, and overturned beds are
all common in zones of orogeny
Keith Morrison
> Well, I can't think of any jokes off the top of my head (nor indeed
> out of my arse), but do you know there's a mineral called
> clinojimthompsonite? I suppose you could invent a whole family of
> them...
> There's g'day brucite (real)
> brookite, presumably a mineralogical soap opera
> witherite attitude you can go far
> a secret limonite drinker
> pectolite, or Dickie Dale
> arfvedsonite, which I particularly like
> nosean and hauyne are just silly.
>
> See how much childish fun can be had out of a copy of DHZ! Not just
> there for the nasty things in life (like undergraduates).
> Chris
There was a contest a while back among our grad students to
see who could name a mineral that would make the best swear
or obscene word. Fuchsite and spodumene topped the list,
of course.
--
Keith Morrison
t0...@unb.ca
John Tauxe
Augite everyone, that's about enough!
--
--------------- A waste is a terrible thing to mind. ---------------------
John Tauxe tau...@ornl.gov Oak Ridge National Laboratory
It's my job to be cleaning up this mess, and that's all right with me. JB
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Zonker Harris
kufsc wrote:
>Chuck Stoup <hedg...@epix.net> wrote:
>>pcsd...@ipnet.ins.gu.edu.au wrote:
>>>
>>> >My sister is marrying a Geologist, and jokes would be
>appreciated.
>>No I think she's stoned.
>>OK, what do you want at the sperm of the moment?
>Never lend a geologist money. They consider a million years ago
>to be Recent.
HOW DOES A GEOLOGIST GET HIS ROCKS OFF?
With a hammer and chisel.
OUCH!!!
--
"Cruising the info highway in a Yugo requires a 386 or less and
2400 bps....................."
Steve Strebel
In article <31D149...@us.oracle.com>, lgu...@us.oracle.com says...
>
>>Bruce Wells <bkw...@ibm.net> wrote:
>>:My sister is marrying a Geologist, and jokes would be appreciated.
>
And let her not forget on her wedding night that geologists' make the
bedrock!
POTEGUY
That intrusion in his pants is a batholith
Someone should be able to come up with a couple of good ones using
geosinclines, anticlines, etc. any takers?
POTEGUY
he'll want to climb the rocky mountains, and probably want to talk about
the overthrust belt