I still dont get it!
lab~rat >:-)
<jess_...@nospam.hotmail.com> wrote:
>Help me please!
Ok,
First shove a fluorescent tube as far up your ass as possible, then
have someone kick you in the stomach.
That should do it.
Hope this helps.
--
lab~rat >:-)
You're a genius with a capital "P".
Colin Green
news:0ppnqs48mlimd20mj...@4ax.com...
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
-----------------------------------------
It's spelt Penis not Penius you critical dry balled soft cock
When was the last time you told a funny story???
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
-----------------------------------------
Definition of "a little homophobic"
A rat with a small penis and an anus fetish. "FREAK"
Does anyone know what rats are good for, other than leaving shit trails
everywhere?
If you skinned them you'd have to sew two of them together to make a half
decent cock warming sock. There's hardly enough meat on them to make a
sandwich, and they taste like shit. They are too soft to use as wheel stops
and too big for golf.
They are infested with germs, and are definitely definitely definitely "not
funny"
Oh yeah I almost forgot to remind you, not to be too depressed when you get
you're at your wits end. Think positively, be grateful that it's a short
journey.
lab~rat >:-)
wrote:
>"lab~rat >:-)" <ch...@cheese.net> wrote in message
>news:0ppnqs48mlimd20mj...@4ax.com...
>> On Tue, 29 Aug 2000 14:42:12 +0100, "Jess"
>> <jess_...@nospam.hotmail.com> wrote:
>>
>> >Help me please!
>>
>> Ok,
>> First shove a fluorescent tube as far up your ass as possible, then
>> have someone kick you in the stomach.
>>
>> That should do it.
>>
>> Hope this helps.
>> --
>> lab~rat >:-)
>> You're a genius with a capital "P".
>
>----------------------------------------------------------------------------
>-----------------------------------------
>It's spelt Penis not Penius
>
Consulted your spell checker, huh?
>you critical dry balled soft cock
Next time try your Thesaurus as well.
>When was the last time you told a funny story???
Just the other day. It was how I met your mother drunk in the alley
behind a strip joint, but you probably wouldn't find it funny.
>----------------------------------------------------------------------------
>-----------------------------------------
>
>Definition of "a little homophobic"
Better a little homophobic than a little homo. By this I am referring
to injecting fluid up men's asses.
>A rat with a small penis and an anus fetish.
What is your obsession with rat penises? Anus?
> "FREAK"
Oh, that explains it.
>Does anyone know what rats are good for, other than leaving shit trails
>everywhere?
Take that back. I'm gonna be blamed for your existence
>
>If you skinned them you'd have to sew two of them together to make a half
>decent cock warming sock.
Where I come from we use women for that task.
>There's hardly enough meat on them to make a
>sandwich, and they taste like shit.
Only someone named Colin would know that taste.
>They are too soft to use as wheel stops
>and too big for golf.
I always thought I was too big for that stupid game.
>They are infested with germs, and are definitely definitely definitely "not
>funny"
Give me some humor lessons, oh gifted one.
>
>Oh yeah I almost forgot to remind you, not to be too depressed when you get
>you're at your wits end. Think positively, be grateful that it's a short
>journey.
>
Didn't you use that comment recently? Your short journey must be
over.
Now for a question that I know will interest you:
Can you touch your asshole with your dick?
If so, go fuck yourself.
Colin Green
Omar
wrote:
>Careful, your humour is showing.
>
Hey lab buddy..............this Colin dudes addy ends .nz...........he
is forgiven.........at least it is understood why he is such a
dimwitted fuckwit.
--
Omar
I beleive this idiotic post speaks for itself....
lab~rat >:-)
>On Wed, 30 Aug 2000 22:09:45 +1200, "Colin Green" <Ch...@xtra.co.nz>
>wrote:
>
>>Careful, your humour is showing.
>>
>Hey lab buddy..............this Colin dudes addy ends .nz...........he
>is forgiven.........at least it is understood why he is such a
>dimwitted fuckwit.
Ok, what you're saying is I've put too much energy into this.
Comprende, mi amigo.
--
lab~rat >:-)
Is that a banana in your pocket or did you shit your pants again?
Campbell Mitchell
<se...@nowhere.co.pluto> writes
>It's worth looking up Jasper Carrott's Spoonerism version of the song
>"Chastity Belt" (Bastity Chelt) for some good ones.
>
>Classsic one (from Dr Spooner himself) was "I came on the town drain"
>instead of "down train".
>
>Serge
>
>In article <ubpsnrz...@imag.fr>, Xavier Decoret
><Xavier....@imag.fr> writes
>>Austin Donnelly <and1000...@cam.ac.uk> writes:
>>
>>> The joke is a Spoonerism on it.
>>>
>>> Better Spoonerisms include:
>>>
>>
>>Being a french (therefore fond of spoonerism, which says
>>"contrepeterie" in french), I am looking for some good examples in
>>english.
>>
>>The only one I know is:
>>
>>"my Soul is full of Hope"
>>
>>If anybody have some more....
>>
>
Try the difference between a policeman's baton and a magicians wand.
One is for cunning stunts while to other is left to your imagination
--
Campbell Mitchell
Douglas D. Anderson
Shouldn't that be "What is the difference between a tesla coil and an
electric cattle prod?" Gotta' give the imagination a little more credit...
Andy
"Douglas D. Anderson" <d...@frontiernet.net> wrote in message
news:8omm6q$f9u$1...@node17.cwnet.frontiernet.net...
Douglas D. Anderson
Maybe a widdly tink at the tack jar would cool 'em down.
*(note: new art form- cockney spoonerisms)*
Jule§
wrote:
>>> > Try the difference between a policeman's baton and a magicians wand.
>>> >
>>> > One is for cunning stunts while to other is left to your imagination
>>>
>>> Shouldn't that be "What is the difference between a tesla coil and an
>>> electric cattle prod?" Gotta' give the imagination a little more credit...
>>>
>>>
>> That a load of betty swollox, If you ask me !
>>
>>
>
>Maybe a widdly tink at the tack jar would cool 'em down.
>
>*(note: new art form- cockney spoonerisms)*
Is this a good time to discuss my turkey pits?
Jule§
Douglas D. Anderson
Here it is some 12h later and nobody has grabbed a hold a jumped into
this one? But then there's no spoonerism for "gobble! gobble!"...
%
>#@>
|
Jule§
wrote:
>In article <09m0rsci4c2p6pc2u...@4ax.com>,
> Jule§ <e...@jules.cat> writes:
>> On 1 Sep 2000 20:53:06 GMT, d...@frontiernet.net (Douglas D. Anderson)
>> wrote:
>>
>>
>>>>> > Try the difference between a policeman's baton and a magicians wand.
>>>>> >
>>>>> > One is for cunning stunts while to other is left to your imagination
>>>>>
>>>>> Shouldn't that be "What is the difference between a tesla coil and an
>>>>> electric cattle prod?" Gotta' give the imagination a little more credit...
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>> That a load of betty swollox, If you ask me !
>>>>
>>>>
>>>
>>>Maybe a widdly tink at the tack jar would cool 'em down.
>>>
>>>*(note: new art form- cockney spoonerisms)*
>>
>>
>> Is this a good time to discuss my turkey pits?
>>
>
>Here it is some 12h later and nobody has grabbed a hold a jumped into
>this one? But then there's no spoonerism for "gobble! gobble!"...
>
> %
> >#@>
> |
>
Hehe.
Not sure how things are in your part of the world, but down here, it
usually the female that makes that sound.
Jule§
Douglas D. Anderson
Apologies to the fairer sex of turkey, although a friend's uncle raises
them, to tell the truth I've not yet met one complete with all body parts.
Cherrio
One has hope in her soul!
Che...@Shocking.Com
"Jenni Gridley" <grid...@cdi.com.au> wrote in message
news:k5Cs5.25$p61....@nsw.nnrp.telstra.net...
> What's the dif between a duck and a goat?
> The duck mucks around the fountain...
>
>
Austin Donnelly
Jason King <jason...@ds-s.com> wrote:
>
>"I," answered the leader modestly, "am the Furry with the syringe
>on top."
"The surry with the fringe on top" is the name of a song in the
musical "Oklahoma!", by Rodgers and Hammerstein.
The joke is a Spoonerism on it.
Better Spoonerisms include:
------------------------------------------------------------
What's the difference between the Suez Canal and a girl who throws
away marks in an exam?
One's a busy ditch.
------------------------------------------------------------
HTH,
Austin
Jason King
http://www.jason-king.co.uk
___________________________________________________________________________
The first astronaut to reach the moon had barely climbed out of his
rocket ship when a host of peculiar-looking men descended upon him.
They had faces made of green tin with eyes that looked like the
headlights of a Manhattan subway train.
"Who are you?" gasped the astronaut. "We are the Furries," explained
the little men. "This part of the moon is our domain."
"Good enough," said the astronaut, with a nod. "Now please take me
to your leader." It developed that the leader looked just like all
the other Furries - with one additional feature. Out of the top of
his head grew a large hypodermic needle.
"Wh-what do they call you?" stammered the astronaut.
"I," answered the leader modestly, "am the Furry with the syringe
on top."
________ __ __ ________________________________________________________
) / /_/ /_ /_ http://www.jason-king.co.uk Ja...@jason-king.co.uk )
(__ /_/ / / __/ /________________________________________________________(
bbg
(popular courting buggy)
Bob S.
>on top."
From a song (I think) called "A surry with fringe on top".
Really bad joke.
Xavier Decoret
> The joke is a Spoonerism on it.
>
> Better Spoonerisms include:
>
Being a french (therefore fond of spoonerism, which says
"contrepeterie" in french), I am looking for some good examples in
english.
The only one I know is:
"my Soul is full of Hope"
If anybody have some more....
--
+------------------+--------------------------------------------------------+
| Xavier DECORET | iMAGIS, Laboratoire GRAVIR/IMAG (CNRS,INRIA,INPG,UJF) |
| | INRIA Rhone-Alpes, 655 Av de l'Europe, 38330 Montbonnot|
| Doctorant | France. Tel: +33 4 76 61 54 58 - Fax: +33 4 76 61 54 40|
+------------------+--------+-----------------------------------------------+
| Xavier....@imag.fr | http://www-imagis.imag.fr/~Xavier.Decoret |
+---------------------------+-----------------------------------------------+
BryanFoster
remember:
Q: Whats the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom?
A: A pickpocket snatches watches.
Q: Whats the difference between a magic show and and a parade of
beautiful women?
A: A magic show is a series of cunning stunts.
Q: Whats the difference between a tribe of pygmies and a womens cross
country team?
A: A tribe of pygmies is a bunch of cunning runts.
And, of course there is the old joke about the king of one of the
islands in the South Pacific who began to collect the old chairs of
past monarchs. He stored them in his traditional thatched roof hut.
The hut caught fire one night and his entire collection was lost. This
proves the old saying:
People who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones.
This punchline is usually followed by a long-suffering groan. I don't
know why. I like puns and spoonerisms. but then I also like bagpipe
music. Go figure.
In article <ubpsnrz...@imag.fr>,
--
Minnesota - 10,000 lakes and 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,... mosquitos
Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Before you buy.
Sam Gaylord
: Its a play on words with song lyrics.. Billy Crystal sang part of the song
: in When Harry Met Sally,. in the karoke in the bookstore run into the
: ex-wife scene. Surry with the Fringe on top. if any one knows the real
: name of this song and which musical it was in you can enlighten me too!
: Shannon in Nova Scotia
The song is named "surry with the fring on top". It's from Oklahoma, a
musical from the 50s. A surry was a horse drawn carrige with a canvas cover
over the top to protect the occupants from the sun. It was popular for
Sunday afternoon courting purposes, back before my time.
Austin Donnelly
Craig Bennett <thec...@mindless.com> wrote:
>On Tue, 22 Aug 2000 17:54:55 GMT, "SAshe" <boud...@dbis.ns.ca> wrote:
>>if any one knows the real
>>name of this song and which musical it was in you can enlighten me too!
>
>called "The Surry with the Fringe on Top"
It's definitely not by Gilbert and Sulliven, since Gilbert died on
May 29, 1911, and Sulliven died in Nov. 22, 1900. The musical Oklahoma!
was written in 1943 by Oscar Hammerstein II and Richard Rodgers, winning
them the Pulitzer Prize in 1944.
(Details courtesy of www.britannica.com)
Austin
Jess
--
I used to go to this club in Sheffield, and all the men
wore eyeliner and I thought they looked interesting,
but they weren't. After that, I always thought anybody
that looked interesting - but who actually bored the pants off
you should be prosecuted under the 'Trade descriptions
Act'"
- jarvis cocker - 1996 -
SAshe <boud...@dbis.ns.ca> wrote in message
news:96696678...@sarabi.AtlanticCo.ca...
> Its a play on words with song lyrics.. Billy Crystal sang part of the song
> in When Harry Met Sally,. in the karoke in the bookstore run into the
> ex-wife scene. Surry with the Fringe on top. if any one knows the real
> name of this song and which musical it was in you can enlighten me too!
>
> Shannon in Nova Scotia
>
> Jason King <Ja...@jason-king.co.uk> wrote in message
> news:399D5FFE...@jason-king.co.uk...
> > For hundreds of jokes and 'Joke of the Week' you might want to click
here:
> >
> > http://www.jason-king.co.uk
> >
>
___________________________________________________________________________
> >
> > The first astronaut to reach the moon had barely climbed out of his
> > rocket ship when a host of peculiar-looking men descended upon him.
> > They had faces made of green tin with eyes that looked like the
> > headlights of a Manhattan subway train.
> >
> > "Who are you?" gasped the astronaut. "We are the Furries," explained
> > the little men. "This part of the moon is our domain."
> >
> > "Good enough," said the astronaut, with a nod. "Now please take me
> > to your leader." It developed that the leader looked just like all
> > the other Furries - with one additional feature. Out of the top of
> > his head grew a large hypodermic needle.
> >
> > "Wh-what do they call you?" stammered the astronaut.
> >
> > "I," answered the leader modestly, "am the Furry with the syringe
> > on top."
> >
SAshe
Craig Bennett
>Its a play on words with song lyrics.. Billy Crystal sang part of the song
>in When Harry Met Sally,. in the karoke in the bookstore run into the
>ex-wife scene. Surry with the Fringe on top. if any one knows the real
>name of this song and which musical it was in you can enlighten me too!
>
From the Gilbert & Sulliven's musical "Oklahoma". I do believe the song is
called "The Surry with the Fringe on Top"
* Brought to you by: Craig Bennett <thec...@mindless.com>
|- About 2700 Jokes: http://www.pangea.ca/~theclyde/jokes
|= Jokes email list: http://www.pangea.ca/~theclyde/jokes/list.html
|- Make some money : http://www.alladvantage.com/go.asp?refid=JBC185
*
Brian Runyard
Jess <jess_...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:wlzo5.11587$jK4.1...@news2-win.server.ntlworld.com...
> I STILL DON@T GET IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>
It's a play on words.
"Furry with the syringe on the top"
"Surry with the fringe on the top" song from Oaklahoma
Equibob
lab~rat >:-)
>old Broadway- Jazz standard Surry with the fring on top
Doesn't anyone read the posts in the thread before they shoot their
wad up here anymore?
We get the fuckin' joke and it sucks, ok?
Kevin Jordan
> On Tue, 22 Aug 2000 17:54:55 GMT, "SAshe" <boud...@dbis.ns.ca> wrote:
>
> >Its a play on words with song lyrics.. Billy Crystal sang part of the song
> >in When Harry Met Sally,. in the karoke in the bookstore run into the
> >ex-wife scene. Surry with the Fringe on top. if any one knows the real
> >name of this song and which musical it was in you can enlighten me too!
> >
>
> From the Gilbert & Sulliven's musical "Oklahoma". I do believe the song is
> called "The Surry with the Fringe on Top"
>
Woops, I think you mean Rogers and Hammerstein.
> *
Serge
"Chastity Belt" (Bastity Chelt) for some good ones.
Classsic one (from Dr Spooner himself) was "I came on the town drain"
instead of "down train".
Serge
In article <ubpsnrz...@imag.fr>, Xavier Decoret
<Xavier....@imag.fr> writes
>Austin Donnelly <and1000...@cam.ac.uk> writes:
>
>> The joke is a Spoonerism on it.
>>
>> Better Spoonerisms include:
>>
>
>Being a french (therefore fond of spoonerism, which says
>"contrepeterie" in french), I am looking for some good examples in
>english.
>
>The only one I know is:
>
>"my Soul is full of Hope"
>
>If anybody have some more....
>
--
Serge
Serge
A goldfish mucks about in fountains.....
In article <8nr7e9$66l$1...@nnrp1.deja.com>, BryanFoster <bryanf1@my-
deja.com> writes
>There are hundreds jokes involving spoonerisms. Here are a few that I
>remember:
>
>
>Q: Whats the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom?
>A: A pickpocket snatches watches.
>
>Q: Whats the difference between a magic show and and a parade of
>beautiful women?
>A: A magic show is a series of cunning stunts.
>
>Q: Whats the difference between a tribe of pygmies and a womens cross
>country team?
>A: A tribe of pygmies is a bunch of cunning runts.
>
>And, of course there is the old joke about the king of one of the
>islands in the South Pacific who began to collect the old chairs of
>past monarchs. He stored them in his traditional thatched roof hut.
>
>The hut caught fire one night and his entire collection was lost. This
>proves the old saying:
>
>People who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones.
>
>
>
>This punchline is usually followed by a long-suffering groan. I don't
>know why. I like puns and spoonerisms. but then I also like bagpipe
>music. Go figure.
>
>
>In article <ubpsnrz...@imag.fr>,
> Xavier Decoret <Xavier....@imag.fr> wrote:
>> Austin Donnelly <and1000...@cam.ac.uk> writes:
>>
>> > The joke is a Spoonerism on it.
>> >
>> > Better Spoonerisms include:
>> >
>>
>> Being a french (therefore fond of spoonerism, which says
>> "contrepeterie" in french), I am looking for some good examples in
>> english.
>>
>> The only one I know is:
>>
>> "my Soul is full of Hope"
>>
>> If anybody have some more....
>>
>> --
>> +------------------+--------------------------------------------------
>------+
>> | Xavier DECORET | iMAGIS, Laboratoire GRAVIR/IMAG
>(CNRS,INRIA,INPG,UJF) |
>> | | INRIA Rhone-Alpes, 655 Av de l'Europe, 38330
>Montbonnot|
>> | Doctorant | France. Tel: +33 4 76 61 54 58 - Fax: +33 4 76
>61 54 40|
>> +------------------+--------+-----------------------------------------
>------+
>> | Xavier....@imag.fr | http://www-
>imagis.imag.fr/~Xavier.Decoret |
>> +---------------------------+-----------------------------------------
>------+
>>
>
>--
>Minnesota - 10,000 lakes and 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,... mosquitos
>
>
>Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
>Before you buy.
--
Serge
Greg Evans
To a woman trying to find a place to sit in church: "Mardon me, padam, but
this pie is occupewed. May I sew you to another sheet?"
Merv
> >Being a french (therefore fond of spoonerism, which says
> >"contrepeterie" in french), I am looking for some good examples in
> >english.
> >
> >The only one I know is:
> >
> >"my Soul is full of Hope"
> >
> >
Why did Rev. Spooner need a handful of quarters?
He wanted to fake more cone falls.
Where did Rev. Spooner find repair instructions?
In his Moaner's Annual.
How can Rev. Spooner score in football?
By making a Dutch town.
'Twas a cruel twist of fate that turned the Rev.
Spooner from birdwatcher to word botcher ....'
Cheers
Merv
Jess
--
I used to go to this club in Sheffield, and all the men
wore eyeliner and I thought they looked interesting,
but they weren't. After that, I always thought anybody
that looked interesting - but who actually bored the pants off
you should be prosecuted under the 'Trade descriptions
Act'"
- jarvis cocker - 1996 -
Greg Evans <greg...@home.com> wrote in message
news:4bsq5.8850$Z4.2...@news1.rdc1.tn.home.com...
davidla...@gmail.com
> For hundreds of jokes and 'Joke of the Week' you might want to click here:
>
> http://www.jason-king.co.uk
>
> The first astronaut to reach the moon had barely climbed out of his
> rocket ship when a host of peculiar-looking men descended upon him.
> They had faces made of green tin with eyes that looked like the
> headlights of a Manhattan subway train.
>
> "Who are you?" gasped the astronaut. "We are the Furries," explained
> the little men. "This part of the moon is our domain."
>
> "Good enough," said the astronaut, with a nod. "Now please take me
> to your leader." It developed that the leader looked just like all
> the other Furries - with one additional feature. Out of the top of
> his head grew a large hypodermic needle.
>
> "Wh-what do they call you?" stammered the astronaut.
>
bgoldn...@gmail.com
> On Tue, 22 Aug 2000 17:54:55 GMT, "SAshe" <boud...@dbis.ns.ca> wrote:
>
> >Its a play on words with song lyrics.. Billy Crystal sang part of the song
> >in When Harry Met Sally,. in the karoke in the bookstore run into the
> >ex-wife scene. Surry with the Fringe on top. if any one knows the real
> >name of this song and which musical it was in you can enlighten me too!
> >
>
> From the Gilbert & Sulliven's musical "Oklahoma". I do believe the song is
> called "The Surry with the Fringe on Top"
bgoldn...@gmail.com
>
> Being a french (therefore fond of spoonerism, which says
> "contrepeterie" in french), I am looking for some good examples in
> english.
>
> The only one I know is:
>
> "my Soul is full of Hope"
>
> If anybody have some more....
A gritty pearl is Michael LLD (A Pretty Girl Is Like A Melody)
Silly Abbot, kicks are for thrids (Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids)
From a story by Isaac Asimov:
A niche in time saves Stein" (A stitch in time saves nine)
1martha...@gmail.com
Ṃᴆ
..a more eclectic Dogberryism
Ṃᴆ
> On Sat, 12 Jan 2019 12:34:11 -0800 (PST), 1martha...@gmail.com
> wrote:
>
>> Omg, it’s a Rodgers and Hammerstein song, “ Surrey with the Fringe On Top, from their musical “ Oklahoma”. Furry with the syringe on top is a malapropism of the song title.
>
>
>
> -~ ~-
> - _ -
> - |> -
> - |< -
> - |> -
> - || -
> - || -
> -__||__-
> |______|
> <______>
> <______>
> \/
>
,
_.="/|
,/`\ /` |
/\ ./' =/
/` ./_ -_/
.="""".=""""=./\ \/ __/
.---------. \ / =_/
/^\______/^\`-._ \/ __/
//^\\ ' /\\-. '.\_/'
//_/^\ / \ `. \..
.' .'` '-./^\ ;/ _`\
.-' / `" / \|
/ (`"-./ . -'/'
\ \| ( _,.`"--..,__ \`
`\ \ |`"`|`^^"'''^^|`\ )
`\\| | | | .' .'
`\._ | |_,.-"` _.-"`
`.`""""`_.--"``
`''''`