Anyone have any good Lepper jokes ?
JEFF QUINLAN
Please post them if you do
Robert E. Hoyle
What do you call a leper in the bathtub??
Answer- STEW! :)
Mike
JEFF QUINLAN wrote:
>
> Please post them if you do
Rick Lugg
Four playing poker in a leper colony - one threw in his hand
--
Rick Lugg
Telkom South Africa
rick...@igubu.saix.net
JEFF QUINLAN <yr...@grove.iup.edu> wrote in article
<1996Sep18....@news.iup.edu>...
Adam Felson
Hear about the lepper gigolo?
Did ok until business fell off.
Paul Quinsey
Two lepers playing cards.
One threw his hand in.
--
Paul Q
Lon Perplies
Q: What did the leper say to the whore?
A: Keep the tip!
Bill
Why did the leper fail his driver's test? He left his foot on the brake.
Why did the lepers lose the hockey game? Because of a face off in the
corner.
What did the leper say to the prostitute? "Keep the tip."
BPatek1014
What did lepper say to the hooker after he was done?
Keep the tip.
Why did they stop a lepper hockey game?
There was a face-off in the corner.
ANDREW DRAZEK
This really poor guy has a family of 10 and lives in Ehtiopia (or
some 3rd world country) and has a crisis with his family whereby they are
starving to death unlike everyone else in the town. Being a religious
man, he goes off to the chapel, and says,"God, please save my
family.....give me some food to take home to my family please!"
With that, a hefty chunk of meat falls into the seat next to him. The guy
gets up and runs over to the meat, picks it up and thanks the lord for
supplying him. A week later, he returns miserable to the chapel and again
prays for some meat for his family. Again a slab of meat drops out of
nowhere, he thanks the lord and goes home.
A few days later, the guy comes back begging to the chapel again. And
again, some meat falls from nowhere. He asks the lord in his prays,
"God, I am not doubting you, but this meat is sooo good, where is from?"
With that, a whisper from above comes,"Up here, up here!" The poor guy
looks up and sees a lepper painting the ceiling.
-----------------
What is the definition of a chico-roll?
A lepper in a sleeping bag.
Tony Glynn
Bill <Bi...@trader.com> wrote in article
<01bba82c$f1a88080$16d6...@Bill.trader.com>...
> Why did the leper fail his driver's test? He left his foot on the brake.
>
> Why did the lepers lose the hockey game? Because of a face off in the
> corner.
>
> What did the leper say to the prostitute? "Keep the tip."
>
Why did the leper have to leave the party?
Everyone was dipping their crackers in his back!
Mark Elliott
Q: What do you call a leper in a hot tub?
A: Stu
ME
DAVID C WEBER
Rick Lugg (rick...@igubu.saix.net) wrote:
: Four playing poker in a leper colony - one threw in his hand
What did the leper say to the prostitute?
Keep the tip...
Craig Bennett
There was this man who suffered from leprosy and was understandably shy about
going out in public. He finally convinced himself that he was human too and
deserved the company of his fellows, and decided to go out to eat in a
down-town restaurant. He got in sat at a table and started to peruse a menu
when suddenly a man at a table next to him started to vomit uncontrollable. He
jumped up from his table and said, "I'm so sorry! I knew this would happen, I
should've never come here..." The man who'd got sick protested, "No, sit back
down! It's not your fault; you've got a right to be where ever you please..."
and after a short while convinced the leper to retake his seat. Moments later
another patron started to throw up and a similar scene occurred where the leper
was told that it was not him at all. After a third such incident the leper
asked the latest victim of nausea, "Well if it's not me, what is it?" "Well,"
he replied, "it's the guy behind you. He keeps dipping his toast in your back."
___ ____ ____ _ ___
|###|####|####|#|### Craig Bennett <cben...@cyberspc.mb.ca>
|# |# |#|#_|#|#|# _ http://www.cyberspc.mb.ca/~cbennett
|#__|# |####|#|#_|# http://www.cyberspc.mb.ca/~cbennett/light
|###|# |# |#|#|#### http://www.cyberspc.mb.ca/~cbennett/scm
¤¤¤Chaz¤¤¤
A lepper walks into a bar. He sits down and the bartender comes over to the
man and takes one look at him turns around and throws up in a garbage can.
The lepper looks around and says to himself "Wow I know I'm a lepper and
all, but I can be that ugly". The bartender turns around and tries not to
look at the man and asks him what he would like. The lepper told him he
would like a beer. The bartender pours him a beer and walks away. A few
minutes later the lepper finishes his beer and waved the bartender down.
The bartender again takes one look at the man and turns around and throws
up. This time the lepper says "Okay bartender I know I'm a lepper and all,
but there is no way I could be that ugly!!" the bartender leans over trying
not to look at the man and says "No sir it's not you.... it's the man next
to you dipping crackers in your arm!!!!"
Craig Bennett <cben...@cyberspc.mb.ca> wrote in article
<5298kf$q...@mars.cyberspc.mb.ca>...
Mayday
One of my favorite lepper jokes of all time. Every time I hear or read it I laugh my head off (pun intended) :)
Adam
obj:
grosser than gross: biting into a hot dog and finding a vein.
¤¤¤Chaz¤¤¤ <CharleyM...@worldnet.att.net> wrote in article <01bbaa4d$16350dc0$efa4a4cd@att>...
Blair Steinbach
What do you call 2 leppers in a whirlpool?
....................................Oatmeal!
pho...@mersinet.co.uk
In Article<1996Sep18....@news.iup.edu>, <yr...@grove.iup.edu> writes:
> Path:
news.mersinet.co.uk!btnet-feed1!btnet!netcom.net.uk!netcom.com!www.nntp.primene
t.com!nntp.primenet.com!news.sprintlink.net!news-peer.sprintlink.net!newsfeed.i
nternetmci.com!in3.uu.net!grove.iup.edu!grove.iup.edu!YRSD
> Newsgroups: alt.tasteless.jokes
> Subject: Anyone have any good Lepper jokes ?
> Message-ID: <1996Sep18....@news.iup.edu>
> From: yr...@grove.iup.edu (JEFF QUINLAN)
> Date: Thu, 19 Sep 1996 03:14:58 GMT
> Reply-To: yr...@grove.iup.edu
> Organization: Indiana University of Pennsylvania
> Nntp-Posting-Host: oak.grove.iup.edu
> Lines: 1
>
> Please post them if you do
A dating couple go to the cinema and sit down with a bag of pork scratchings
to watch the film. A gang of kids behind them keep making noise, and the guy
turns round to tell them to shut up, he turns back round and continues eating,
but the bag appears to be full again. Soon after, the kids play up again, and
after yelling at them again he finds his knees covered with pork scratchings,
so between them both they manage to finish them all. Towards the end of the
film, he has to turn round again to tell the kids to shut up, and this time
his knees are piled high and the chairs either side are getting covered as
well, so he looks up to find out where they`re all coming from, only to see a
leper on the balcony scratching his chin....
co...@dump.com
RI>Four playing poker in a leper colony - one threw in his hand
RI>--
RI>Rick Lugg
RI>Telkom South Africa
RI>rick...@igubu.saix.net
RI>JEFF QUINLAN <yr...@grove.iup.edu> wrote in article
RI><1996Sep18....@news.iup.edu>...
RI>> Please post them if you do
RI>>
What did the leper say to the whore?
a: you can keep the tip!
What do you call a leper in a bathtub?
a: Stew
what do you call a leper in a windtunnel?
a: a skeleton
blue
why did they have to stop the lepper hockey game?
cuz there was a face off on the ice.
Why couldn't the lepper push his car?
he left his foot on the brake.
why did they kick the lepper out of the card game?
he kept trying to throw in his hand.
Keefy
Q: How do you make poridge?
A: Put a leper and an epilectic in the same bath tub.
Keefy.
--
Fraser Keith, Strathclyde University
mailto:fke...@cs.strath.ac.uk
http://www.strath.ac.uk/~nau95223/
Lorin David
Q: Why did they stop the leper's hockey game?
A: There was a face off in the corner.
Chris Victor
Keefy wrote:
>
> Mark Elliott wrote:
> >
> > Q: What do you call a leper in a hot tub?
> >
> > A: Stu
> >
> > ME
>
> Q: How do you make poridge?
>
> A: Put a leper and an epilectic in the same bath tub.
>
Q: Of course, you know why the leper hockey game had to be called off,
don't you?
A: Because there was a face off in the corner.
Q: And how do you know when the leper poker game is over?
A: Someone throws in his hand.
-Chris
Karen Boelter
If you are referring to the disease for which they closed the sanitarium in
Carville, LA which causes limbs and extra body pieces to fall off the proper
spelling is 'LEPER'.
I don't normally pick at nits but I am unable to tell if you want jokes
about lost body parts or rabbits (or possibly kangaroos.) :-)
MJG
A repost:
Why don't lepers go to parties?
Everyone tries to use their backs as cheese dip.
Rick Knight
What's the definition of gross?
A leper having an epileptic fit.
JEFF QUINLAN <yr...@grove.iup.edu> wrote in article
<1996Sep18....@news.iup.edu>...
Lucky Strike
What did the leper say to the whore?
you can keep the tip....
--
==================================================================
Lucky Strike <t...@hopper.unh.edu>
Undergrad, UNH Philosophy Dept.
"... I say 'There is nothing wrong with flogging
people for fun.'"
Professor Richard M. Hare
University of Florida
(from _Prescriptivism: The Structure of Ethics and Morals_)
Carefully extricated from context by yours truly
===================================================================
Campbell
In article <Pine.SUN.3.95.960920...@Ra.MsState.Edu>,
re...@Ra.MsState.Edu says...
>
>What do you call a leper in the bathtub??
>
>>>
>Answer- STEW! :)
>
>
or....
Q: what do you call a leper in a spa?
A: Porridge.
Q: What did the leper say to the prostitute?
A: Keep the tip.
J. Johnson
Okay guys:
What's grosses than gross?
Kissing your grandma and she slips you the tongue.
what's grosser than that?
When you kiss your grandfather and he slips you the tongue..
On 3 Oct 1996, Rick Knight wrote:
> What's the definition of gross?
>
>
>
>
> A leper having an epileptic fit.
>
>
>
>
> JEFF QUINLAN <yr...@grove.iup.edu> wrote in article
> <1996Sep18....@news.iup.edu>...
Charles Waters
Why did the leper fail his driving test?
He left his foot on the gas.
What did the leper say to the prostitute?
"You can keep the tip".
What do you call 5 lepers in a hot tub?
Soup.
EEEEE Charles Waters - Independent Excel Telecommunications Rep
EE Only with Excel does 'NO' mean business; NO Inventory, NO Deliveries,
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decision to improve your life! Live with Passion.
AndreC
Why did the referee blow the whissle during a hockey game.
because there was a face off in the corner : )
AndreC
Charles Waters <cwa...@iu.net> wrote in article <5324mq$1...@cc.iu.net>...
Kenneth P. Kowalsky
In <5324mq$1...@cc.iu.net> cwa...@iu.net (Charles Waters) writes:
>
>Why did the leper fail his driving test?
>He left his foot on the gas.
>
>What did the leper say to the prostitute?
>"You can keep the tip".
>
>What do you call 5 lepers in a hot tub?
>Soup.
>
How about these....
Q: How did the leper break up the card game?
A: He threw in his hand.
Q: Why did the clock stop in the leper ice hockey game?
A: There was a faceoff in the corner.
Q: Why did the leper leave the party early?
A: Everyone kept dipping chips into the open hole in the back of his
head.
Q: Why did the leper prostitute go bankrupt?
A: Her business just fell off.
--
Kenneth Kowalsky Adgrafix Web Space Provider
---------------------------------------------------------------
Could your business use a web space provider for as low as $29
per month INCLUDING; Mulltiple T1 lines, 1 Gig of data transfer
per day, SSL encryption, Unlimited tech support and more? Email
me at kkow...@adgrafix.com or visit my web site.
---------------------------------------------------------------
http://www.adgrafix.com/info/kkowalsky/ 201.402.0191
Jim McKinley
Keefy wrote:
>
> Mark Elliott wrote:
> >
> > Q: What do you call a leper in a hot tub?
> >
> > A: Stu
> >
> > ME
>
> Q: How do you make poridge?
>
> A: Put a leper and an epilectic in the same bath tub.
>
"Keep the tip."
--
=========================================================================
Please don't tell my family I surf the net. They think I play piano in a
whorehouse.
=========================================================================
Damian Perry
In article <325283...@earthlink.net>, nera...@earthlink.net says...
> If you are referring to the disease for which they closed the
sanitarium in
> Carville, LA which causes limbs and extra body pieces to fall off the
proper
> spelling is 'LEPER'.
But then, the jokes don't make sense anymore...
PTB
R Webdell
What's the definition of leppers in a swimming pool ?
A) A Bowl of porridge.
Bill Campbell
It's leper but maybe that was after a "P" fell off....
Why did they stop the leper hockey game?
There was a face off at the blue line.
Why did they stop the leper poker game?
Someone threw their hand in.
Which reminds me of the best Jeffry Dahmer joke:
Why did he keep a blender on his front porch?
So he could greet everyone with a hand shake.
Off the server, over the T3, down the T1, across ISND, through the Bitsurfr Pro.
Nothing But Net!
M. Sims
What did the leper say to the hooker?
Keep the tip.