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Groucho Marx Jokes

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Martimus

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Jul 16, 1994, 12:19:53 AM7/16/94
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In article <ericks45-1...@sat7589.potsdam.edu> eric...@Potsdam.edu (Norm Erickson) writes:
>From: eric...@Potsdam.edu (Norm Erickson)
>Subject: Groucho Marx Jokes
>Date: 12 Jul 1994 18:49:48 GMT

>Does anyone out there know any? Either post them here or send them to me
>at: eric...@potsdam.edu

Jokes about Groucho....that's the most ridiculous thing I ever heard...

Rufus T. Firefly
"Well, that covers a lot of ground. Say, you cover a lot of ground yourself.
You better beat it. I hear they're looking to tear you down and put up
an office building where you're standing. You can leave in a taxi. If
you can't get a taxi you can leave in a huff. If that's too soon, you
can leave in a minute and a huff." -- Groucho from Duck Soup

U29...@uicvm.uic.edu

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Jul 21, 1994, 3:20:46 AM7/21/94
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<Groucho, upon entering a mansion>
Oh, boy, take my bags... here's a dime.

<Lady of the house>
How dare you! That's my husband!

<Groucho>
Oh, I'm sorry! Here's a quarter.

Rob Gordon

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Jul 22, 1994, 1:31:00 PM7/22/94
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Now for some tastless Groucho quotes (these may be apocryphal)
YouBetYourLifeContestant: <Squeals> I feel so crazy!
Groucho: Stick your hand in my pocket you'll feel nuts.
-----------------------------------------------------
YBLC: I have 13 children
Groucho: Why would anyone have thirteen children?
YBLC: I love my husband!
Groucho: I love my cigar, but even I take it out once in a while.
-RG <<<<>>>>

Alex Currier

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Jul 22, 1994, 5:24:11 PM7/22/94
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In article <19940722093...@gordonpc1.interbase.borland.com>,
rgo...@wpo.borland.com (Rob Gordon) wrote:


> YBLC: I have 13 children
> Groucho: Why would anyone have thirteen children?
> YBLC: I love my husband!
> Groucho: I love my cigar, but even I take it out once in a while.
> -RG <<<<>>>>

Isn't that the one that got You Bet Your Life taken off the air?
Considering the calibre of Groucho's jokes (read Groucho's constant
innuendo) I'm surprised it took them that long.

(don't misunderstand me, I love the Marx Brothers, I watched A Night At
The Opera just last night!)


Alex

--
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Alex Currier | Were it not for the untimely death of
myc...@mail.utexas.edu | Genghis Kahn we would all most likely
Texas Union MicroCenter | be speaking Mongol.
---------------------------------------------------------------------

Alex Currier

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Jul 22, 1994, 5:28:38 PM7/22/94
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In article <19940722093...@gordonpc1.interbase.borland.com>,
rgo...@wpo.borland.com (Rob Gordon) wrote:

> YBLC: I have 13 children
> Groucho: Why would anyone have thirteen children?
> YBLC: I love my husband!
> Groucho: I love my cigar, but even I take it out once in a while.

Woops, my last reply did not include a joke... please forgive and accept
this humble offering:

Q: What has four legs, a long neck and flies?


A: A dead Giraffe.

Albert Blair

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Jul 24, 1994, 5:33:37 PM7/24/94
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Groucho last words
"Either that wallpaper goes or I do"
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